


When the Right One Comes Along

by thatwriterlady



Series: Tattoos and Piercings Series [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Cas and Dean are not dying!, Demisexual Dean, Don't worry, Emotions, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings, Flirting, Fluff, Gay Castiel, Genital Piercing, Getting to Know Each Other, Inappropriate Behavior, Kink Discovery, Kissing, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mention of Past Abuse, Musician Castiel, Nipple Piercings, Pansexual Dean, Past Child Abuse, Piercings, Relationship(s), Tattoos, Teacher Dean, Tongue Piercings, Unsolicited touching, more tags as I think of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-06 06:00:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 56
Words: 194,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4210677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Dean Doesn't Have a Type.  Dean is falling hard for the handsome blue eyed man he met at the festival his brother dragged him to, and for Dean that's an overwhelming and scary thing.  See, Dean has never been in love before, and he has never had deep feelings for anyone.  Until Cas came into his life.</p><p>Cas is the sexy tattooed, pierced musician with a traumatic past and a reputation as a playboy.  He doesn't get involved, and he doesn't enter into relationships.  That is, until Dean Winchester comes into his life.</p><p>Each man comes to realize that the other is exactly what they need in their lives, and they strive to make it work.  They fall in love and come to terms with the hell they had both lived through as children, and strive not to let that interfere with their relationship.  </p><p>Sometimes the person you least expect is the one that is right for you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Live at the Roadhouse

**Author's Note:**

> For those that have been following my stories, this is the second part to Dean Doesn't Have a Type. This one will be longer and more in depth (that's just my mood lately, so I'm rolling with it), and have some angst built in. I haven't yet decided just how much angst though. As for character deaths? Don't worry, Cas, Dean and Sam are all safe.
> 
> I hope you like the story. It will be updated regularly.

Dean showed up at the Roadhouse an hour before the concert was set to start. The band, and most importantly Cas, had not arrived yet. Ellen smiled when he walked through the doors.

“What brings you in sweetheart? You planning to stay for the band later?” She asked after hugging and kissing him.

“Yeah, I am actually. I was hoping you’d let me work behind the bar until it starts, to maybe make up for the cover?” He gave her his most winning smile but she just smirked and put her hands on her hips.

“Uh huh. Which member of the band do you have your eye on?”

Damn she could read him like a book.

“I’m maybe, sort of seeing the lead singer, Cas.” He admitted. The tips of his ears and his cheeks were turning red, he could feel the burn. Ellen just chuckled.

“Not sure I know which one that is. How’d you meet him?” She asked as she motioned for him to follow her behind the bar. She handed him a white apron which he promptly tied around his waist and then leaned against the counter to watch him take care of customers. Between each one he filled her in on how he had met Cas, and the spark that had occurred between them.

“He’s great Ellen, really smart and fucking hot.” He paused, eyes widening as he realized who he was talking to and what he had just said. She laughed and shook her head.

“Now I really am intrigued. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“He has the bluest damn eyes I’ve ever seen, and El, he likes cars. He drives a classic car too! He let me look under the hood, and no, that was NOT a sexual reference.” He leveled her with a glare as he knew the type of comment that was ready to slip from her lips any moment. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” There was a mischievous smirk on her lips but she didn’t let the joke slip. Instead she followed him to the other end of the bar where he was filling an order for three pints of Guinness on tap.

“What does he drive?” 

“A ’69 Corvette. Car’s in mint condition.” He bragged.

“Very nice. So, you like this Cas then?” 

He served the beers, took the payment and looked at Ellen.

“Yeah, I do.”

She smiled and patted his arm. “Then I’m happy for you.”

“Just…don’t let his piercings and tattoos throw you off.” He said, almost as an afterthought.

She raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on it before disappearing into the back room.

The next hour Dean served the ever growing crowd and when he spotted a head of dark hair heading his way he groaned internally.

“Winchester, I didn’t know you worked here.” The bar was filled, no empty seats, but Meg had managed to slip in between some college kids and currently was pressed up against the counter.

“I don’t. I’m helping out a friend.” He replied. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Long Island.” She replied.

He quickly mixed her drink and set it down in front of her. She paid him and sipped at it but didn’t leave. He was acutely aware of the way she was watching him, that ever present smirk on her face. Movement on the stage across the room caught his eye and he saw people were setting up.

“You have a thing for my cousin, don’t you?” Meg asked. Her tone told him it wasn’t a question at all but a statement. She full well knew what they had been doing in his car while everyone was still at the fest. He finished with a customer and place his hands on the counter, leaning closer to her.

“So what if I do?”

She was clearly surprised by his answer but the look didn’t last for long. The smirk returned quick enough.

“That’s good. He needs someone decent. He had a rough upbringing. My aunt and uncle are religious zealots. They never approved of anything he did, including his joining the orchestra. He was supposed to only play for the church. To them, everything he does is an abomination. He’s sort of the outcast of the family. I am too, but I suppose that’s why we get along so well.”

Dean frowned at hearing that. Sure, his own dad didn’t like that he sometimes dated men, but the man didn’t degrade him for it. He just didn’t want the nitty, gritty details.

“That’s messed up. No one should be made to feel like an outcast.”

“You’re not going to make him feel that way, are you?” She asked. Her smirk had faded and the expression on her face was something more serious now.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Cas is a great guy and I genuinely like him.” He told her. She relaxed, the smirk slipping back into place.

“That’s what I told him. He’s been a nervous wreck since he invited you here tonight, but I told him I knew you and that you were pretty cool, not the type to jerk him around.” She took another sip of her drink. Someone was warming up a guitar on stage and they both turned to look. Cas was in the center of the stage checking his guitar. Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away. The man was even more breathtaking than the last time he’d seen him. Texting back and forth all week did not compare to seeing the man again in person.

“You got it bad Winchester.” Meg said with a small laugh, but for once it was a genuine one, not full of sarcasm or snark. He just grinned as he removed the apron and tucked it under the counter.

“Ellen, I’m done, ok?” He called out to her. She was further down the bar mixing a screwball. She smiled and nodded.

“Come on, you can come to my table.” Meg started walking towards a reserved bar table near the stage and Dean followed. There were three other women there and Dean realized he would have to stand, but he didn’t mind too much. From this vantage point he could see every detail of Cas’ face, including what looked like a brand new piercing in the corner of his lip. Without the hat Cas’ hair was gelled up into some kind of crazy Mohawk that made it possible for Dean to see that Cas’ ears were pierce too, once in the lobes and once in the cartilage at the tops of each ear. Dean found himself wondering again all the different places the man had pierced. 

Cas was dressed in a short sleeve button down of which only about four buttons right in the middle were actually fastened. His upper chest and the smooth planes of his abdomen were exposed and Dean could make out some of the tattoos that were inked onto the flesh as well as the full sleeves on both arms. Dean shifted as his pants suddenly tightened. Cas was hot with his tattoos and piercings and way too tight skinny jeans that were leaving next to nothing to Dean’s imagination. 

“Mmmm, that man is delicious.” The blonde sitting next to Meg said. “I’d ride his face just to feel that tongue cause I know there’s a ring in there too.”

Dean stared at her, his jaw dropped. Meg laughed and elbowed the blonde.

“Lilith! That’s my cousin you’re talking about! Besides, the only one that’s going to get to benefit from his tongue ring, and yes, he does have one, is this fellow here. Cause honey, Cas does NOT swing your way.”

Lilith turned to look at Meg and then at Dean, the disappointment obvious on her face for all of two seconds before she was looking at him like he was her next meal.

“Oh no honey, I don’t think so.” He laughed and shook his head. She frowned and turned to look back at the stage, and so did Dean.

Cas was tuning his guitar but he kept sneaking peeks up, looking around the crowd for any sign of Dean. When a hand in the air waving in his direction caught his eye he turned and spotted his cousin Meg, and standing there at her table was Dean. He couldn’t help but smile. Dean smiled back. He moved to the edge of the stage and crouched down, motioning for Dean to come over.

“Excuse me for a moment ladies.” Dean squeezed past Meg’s chair and wove his way through the people standing until he reached the stage.

“Hey, I’m glad you came.” Cas said once Dean had reached him.

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Dean smiled up at him and Cas couldn’t help but smile back.

“Is that a new one? You didn’t mention you were getting another one in your texts.” Dean motioned towards the corner of Cas’ mouth where the ring sat. They’d been texting frequently since last Saturday and Dean was certain Cas hadn’t mentioned any new piercings. Unconsciously Cas touched it with his tongue. 

“Nah, I’ve had it for years. I just didn’t have it in last Saturday. I took it out intending to change rings and forgot to put the new one in.” 

Dean nodded. “I like it.”

“Yeah?” Cas had that flirty smile on his face that made Dean’s dick twitch with interest. 

“Definitely.” Dean hit him back with a seductive smile of his own and licked his lips. Cas’ eyes widened, locking on the movement of his tongue before he laughed and shook his head.

“You’re going to make it very difficult for me to stand on this stage and perform, you know that?”

Dean quirked an eyebrow, still full on flirting. “Oh yeah? You going to be thinking about me while you perform, Cas?” He had put emphasis on the word ‘perform’ just to rile the man up.

“Fuck.” Cas muttered.

“Is it ok if I kiss you?” Dean asked.

“Hell yes it is, get over here.” Cas grabbed Dean by the front of his shirt and pulled him even closer. The kiss was quick but intense.

“Go on gorgeous, sing your heart out. I’ll be with Meg listening to every word.” Dean reached up to caress Cas’ cheek before turning and making his way back to the table. Cas watched him go, staring hard at his ass until Dean was back facing the stage again.

“That was freaking hot.” Lilith said. The other ladies at the table, minus Meg all nodded in agreement. She leaned closer to Dean so only he could hear her.

“He really likes you. Break his heart and I’ll break your knees. Got it?”

Dean knew Meg well enough to know she was serious, but had no intention of hurting someone as amazing as Cas.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He told her.


	2. Dinner Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the concert Dean takes Cas out for their first real date, and Cas gets a glimpse into Dean's low self esteem. He also comes to the conclusion that for the first time in his life he wants something more substantial. And he wants it with Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you all think....

As the rest of the band took the stage Dean waived to one of the wait staff and ordered a beer. When the music started he found himself listening carefully to each cord, counting the beats and watching Cas’ long fingers as they flew over the strings. His mind wondered briefly what Cas could do to him with those fingers to make him scream, but as soon as Cas opened his mouth and the first words came out all thoughts of sex flew right out of his head. All he could see and hear was Cas, and it was amazing.

The music was all original. It was rough, edgy, a mixture of Indy and a classic rock sound, and Dean found that he liked it a lot. Cas had told him that he had composed all of the music himself. With the way the crowd was getting into the music it was clear they liked it too. Time and time again Cas’ eyes sought out and locked onto Dean as he belted out the lyrics. For Dean it was one of the best bar concerts he had ever experienced. When it was over he had to laugh at the way the women seemed to swarm around the stage. Had they not seen him kiss Cas earlier? Or did they just not care? Cas seemed oblivious though. He hurried down the set of stairs at the side of the stage and wove his way through the crowd until he reached Dean. His shirt was soaked almost through with sweat and it was hard for Dean not to stare. Were those…nipple rings he was seeing through the thin cotton? Holy hell this man was getting hotter by the minute! Cas was wiping at his neck and face with a hand towel as he made his way over.

“So, what did you think?” Cas asked. It was clear he was worried that Dean hadn’t liked it. Dean grabbed the loops on the other man’s jeans and tugged him closer until they were pressed flush against one another.

“You were amazing. The music is awesome. Do you guys have a cd? I’d like to get a few, give them to some people I know. They need to experience good music.”

Cas blushed at the compliment and ducked his head but Dean could see the smile on his lips. “Yeah? You really liked it?” He dared to look up, those blue eyes meeting his own green ones.

“I wouldn’t lie. The music was great. And you’re a bad ass on the guitar man. I’m really impressed.” Dean assured him. Cas seemed to relax and he tugged playfully on the hem of Dean’s tee shirt.

“Do you…want to go get something to eat? I’m always hungry after performing.”

“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” Dean winked at him and Cas slapped his chest playfully.

“Yeah, I’m hungry too. We could eat here, but then your cousin and her creepy friends will be busy imagining us in bed together, or we could go this cozy little diner I know near here.” Dean had leaned in so only Cas could hear him. To his delight the man moaned when Dean nipped playfully at his ear.

“Diner, definitely.” Cas said. “But first we need to get our equipment out to the van. I’ll be back in just a little bit.”

He kissed Dean again, slowly, savoring the taste of his lips before turning and heading back to the stage.

“What are you plans this evening?” Meg asked him.

“I’m gonna take him out to dinner.” Dean leaned his arms on the table again as he watched the band and a few other people breaking down the equipment and moving it off the stage and out through a side door.

“Dinner? That’s it?” Lilith asked. He was tempted to say something snarky but he held his tongue. He didn’t like that woman.

“Yes, dinner, and conversation. You know, what people do when they’re getting to know one another.” Meg said dryly to her friend. Dean wanted to high five the chick for that.

Someone came up on Dean’s right and wrapped their arm around his waist. He looked down to see Ellen.

“Everyone have a good time? That was some good music.” She looked up at Dean and smiled. He smiled back.

“It was awesome. They’re really good, aren’t they?” He asked her. She nodded in agreement. Ellen had pretty good taste in music.

He turned back to see everyone at the table staring between him and Ellen.

“Ladies, this is my aunt, she owns this bar. Ellen Harvelle. Ellen, this is Meg, Cas’ cousin. I’m afraid I didn’t get the names of anyone else except Lilith here.” He glanced at the blonde but made no move to do a formal introduction.

“You have a lovely place here. I really like it.” Meg said. Ellen smiled politely.

“Why thank you darlin.” The other ladies introduced themselves, there was a Karen and an Abby. Both women were infinitely more polite than Lilith and Dean liked them better.

“So where’s the handsome new beau?” Ellen asked. Dean blushed and looked at Meg who was biting on her lower lip as she tried not to grin.

“He’s uh, taking his equipment out back.” 

“And you’re not helping him?” There was chastisement in her voice and Dean looked quickly towards the stage. He should have offered to help!

“It’s alright, we got it all loaded.” A familiar voice said. Dean and Ellen turned to see Cas walking up. The shirt he had performed in had been replaced with a Star Wars tee shirt that covered up his chest and stomach. Dean was mildly disappointed by that but he knew it was uncomfortable to stay in clothing that was soaked in sweat, and by the time they reached the diner he sure wouldn’t be smelling very good.

“Ellen, meet Cas. Cas, this is my aunt, Ellen. She owns this place.” Dean introduced them. Cas put on his most charming smile and shook her hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Ellen. I really enjoyed performing here tonight. You have a lovely establishment.”

Cas was being sincere and Ellen recognized that. Had the words been coming out of Dean’s mouth she’d have known immediately that he was being a smart ass. She had a fail proof bullshit detector.

“Well thank you darlin. I enjoyed listening to your band, even if I was working the bar. I do hope you’ll come back again soon, we drew a pretty big crowd tonight.” She told him. He nodded.

“Oh definitely we’d like to come back. It won’t be for a few months though as I am also a concert cellist and we have a tour coming up.” Cas explained.

Dean felt a touch of sadness at hearing that Cas would be leaving for a tour. Cas saw the look on his face and came around Ellen to stand next to Dean. He slipped his hand into Dean’s and squeezed.

“It’s not for another few weeks.” He whispered. 

“So, a cellist, eh?” Ellen asked.

“Yes ma’am. I’ve played the cello since I was five and was signed at seventeen to the Bass City Orchestra. I’ve been there ever since.”

She looked him up and down, clearly appraising him.

“You must wear a lot of clothing to cover all of your tattoos.” 

“I wear a tux most of the time, so none of them show, and most of my piercings can be covered up or temporarily removed.” He said.

“Was that your goal? To be a cellist?” She asked.

“No, actually. That’s my mother’s dream. I have a natural ear for music and began playing the piano at age three, by ear. She hired someone to come teach me and from there I spent my entire childhood learning one instrument after another. It was exhausting. A few years back my friend Balthazar, he’s the drummer, he suggested we start a band, so we did. I much prefer writing and singing my own music to playing a cello, but I make good money doing it.” He shrugged and Dean pulled his hand from Cas’ in order to slip an arm around his waist and pull him closer.

“I think you have potential. Your music is very good. Have you submitted any demo tapes anywhere?” She asked.

“I’ve been submitting them since the band first started. No one has really called us though.” Cas sighed. 

“I might be able to help with that.” Ellen said, a glimmer in her eye and a smile on her lips.

“Really? How?”

“I happen to know the owner of Angel Records. Strange little man, but for some reason he adores our burgers, so he comes in a few times a month. Name’s Gabe Milton.” Ellen replied.

Cas looked up at Dean as if for confirmation but Dean was looking at Ellen.

“You mean the little blonde guy that’s always sucking on the lollipops? That Gabe?” He asked.

“The one and only.” She replied.

“I’ve played beer pong with him and played Cards Against Humanity with him and a bunch of other regulars. I had no idea who he was.” Dean really hadn’t known who Gabe was. He’d just thought the guy was entertaining and fun to hang around with.

“Well now you know.” Ellen said. “He comes in on Wednesdays, so what I’ll do is get him one of your demos, or better yet, I’ll play your cd while he’s here. I’ll add it to the jukebox.”

Cas was now practically strumming with excitement. “Sure! I have a bunch out in the van, I’ll go grab one!”

Before he ran off he smiled up at Dean and he could see the excitement in those incredible blue eyes. Dean gave him a peck on the lips before watching Cas dash out the door.

“He’s nice.” Ellen said as they excused themselves from Meg’s table and started towards the bar.

“I told you he is.” 

“He really does have some incredible blue eyes.” She winked at him and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, yeah he does.” He rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. Cas had a lot more than just those eyes going for him. Overall the man was just amazing.

“Here you go!” Cas was out of breath when he returned. He was holding two cd’s but handed only one over to Ellen who promptly loaded it into the jukebox. She set it to play one of his songs and soon Cas’ low, gravelly voice filled the bar. It was like liquid sex to Dean. When she returned she took the second one and tucked it under the counter.

“I’ll talk to him when he comes in. You boys go have a nice night now.” Ellen gave them a wink and laughed as they both blushed.

“Come on Cas, I know you must be even hungrier now with all that running.” Dean teased as he took the other man’s hand and they walked out of the bar.

“I’m absolutely ravenous now.” As if to confirm his words Cas’ stomach growled loudly.

“You weren’t kidding.” Dean laughed. Cas just blushed in embarrassment. 

“So how did you get here? Do you have a car you’re leaving here or what?” Dean asked.

“We came in the van, my car is at home, but if you don’t mind dropping me off later, we can take your car.” They had reached the Impala and were standing in front of it, less than a foot away from each other.

“Sure. I can do that.” Dean unlocked the passenger door first and held it open for Cas to get in before going around to the driver’s side. Cas had already leaned over to unlock his door for him.

“You were raised with manners, I like that.” Cas said. Once the car was started and Dean had pulled out onto the street he reached over to take Dean’s hand.

“Ellen would murder me where I stood if I wasn’t polite. She’ll haunt me long after she’s gone.” Dean joked. Though Ellen had taught both him and Sam how to be polite and how to treat other people, Dean just liked being a gentleman.

“I like her, she’s nice. Did she raise you and Sam?” Cas asked.

“Uh, sort of. My dad was on trips a lot so we stayed either with her or with Bobby, my dad’s best friend. Eventually Bobby met Ellen and, well, the rest is history.” Dean chuckled.

“That’s sweet.” Cas meant it too.

“She’s not really my biological aunt, but she’s been in my life since I was born, so she might as well be. If you ever see a sassy blonde girl hanging all over me, that’s Jo, Ellen’s daughter and my very annoying pseudo cousin. I love the kid but she’s a spitfire!”

They reached the diner and linked hands once more as they walked in.

“Dean! Where on earth have you been?” 

A woman dressed in a pink uniform came over. Cas couldn’t figure out how she managed to still pull off being sexy while dressed in something the color of Pepto Bismol and the texture of hospital sheets, but she was pulling it off nonetheless. The moment she reached them she was leaning in close to Dean and pressing her hand against his chest as she talked to him.

“It’s been too long sweet thing! If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were avoiding me.” Her voice was raspy and her tone was seductive. She was raising Cas’ hackles. He didn’t like the way she was putting her hands all over him but he held his tongue and watched Dean to see how he would handle the situation. The man looked quite uncomfortable as he tried to back up and escape her touch.

“Pam, please, stop. We’re here to eat, not have you rub all over us.” It was meant as a joke but Cas picked up on the tightness in his voice. The woman raised an eyebrow as she took a step back and placed her hands on her hips. It was like she was just now noticing that Dean had someone with him. As she eyed Cas her look of annoyance switched back to one of interest.

“Well hello there, and who are you handsome?” 

“He’s taken Pam, now are you going to seat us or are we going to seat ourselves?” Dean asked, the annoyance now bleeding through in the tone of his voice.

“Oh, don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’ll put you in your usual booth.” She grabbed two menus and Dean tugged on Cas’ hand as he started after Pam. She led them to a booth in the back corner, away from the dinner crowd however at this time of night the diner was mostly empty.

“What can I get you to drink?” She asked as they slid in on opposite sides of the table and she set the menus down in front of them.

“Coffee, please.” Cas told her.

“Same.” Dean added. She gave him a flirty smile before practically slinking away to get their drinks. As soon as she was out of earshot Dean was apologizing profusely to Cas.

“I’m so sorry, she’s not even supposed to be working here anymore, she quit two months ago so I thought it was safe to come back. If you want to go somewhere else I totally understand.”

Cas reached across the table and placed his hand over Dean’s.

“It’s alright. Is she…an ex?” He asked.

Dean’s eyes widened in horror. “God no! But she has been trying to get in my pants for going on about five years now, ever since I first started coming here. She’s…intense.” He leaned closer and lowered his voice to a whisper.

“She scares me.”

Cas snorted and bit down on his lower lip to prevent himself from full on laughing. Dean sat back and smiled. He was glad Cas wasn’t put off by Pam’s advances. When she returned with the coffee she tried to catch Dean’s eye but he was too busy staring at Cas.

“Do you boys know what you want?” She asked.

“My usual.” Dean said, never taking his eyes off Cas. Cas on the other hand was looking through the menu, his stomach rumbling the whole time.

“I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger, no onions, add mayo. And fries.” He finally said.

“So…two regulars.” She smirked.

“I guess so.” Dean was grinning and it made Cas smile.

“I’ll be back in a bit with your food.” She said and left again.

“So tell me about yourself Cas. I know the music stuff, but I want to know more.” Dean said.

“I’m not telling you all the places I’m pierced.” Cas said, raising one eyebrow, a wicked smile on his lips.

“Ha, no, as you said before, I’ll have to figure those out for myself later, and I look forward to that. For now though I’m asking things about you. What’s your favorite food, your favorite color, what do you do for fun?”

Cas absently played with the ring in his lip and he thought of which question to answer first.

“Well, my favorite color would probably be green. My favorite food is a toss-up between salmon and pizza. I know, polar opposites, but I like them equally. And for fun? Well, I write poetry as well as songs, I do a little painting, I design my own tattoos, and I like being out in nature. I go hiking and camping a couple of times a year. I like traveling too, just not on a tour bus with the orchestra. My idea of traveling is in my own car, on the open road with the windows wide open and no particular destination in mind.” Cas replied. There was a dreamy look in his eye as he spoke that Dean liked seeing. 

“What about you Dean?”

“Favorite color is blue, favorite food is pie. Doesn’t matter what kind, I’ll eat any kind of pie, and for fun? I do the road trips as often as I can. Sometimes my brother tags along, sometimes I just go alone. Once Charlie came with but that was a nightmare. I love the girl but she’s a bundle of energy and wanted to hit every gay club between here and Las Vegas.” Dean replied, chuckling at the memory.

“That sounds amazing. The open road part, not the gay clubs, though those can be fun too.” Cas had that mischievous smirk on his lips again. God his lips were so perfect. Dean was dying to kiss him again.

“The clubs she picked out were cesspools. I wouldn’t recommend them to my worst enemy. I got groped so bad at one in Vegas that I think it may actually have counted as sexual assault.” Dean grimaced at the memory.

“You were definitely not in a good one.” Cas was amused by Dean’s expression.

“So what is your family like?” Dean asked, changing the subject. Cas’ bright blue eyes suddenly darkened and his perfectly chiseled jaw suddenly clenched tight.

“They’re…not in my life anymore. Except for my brother Mike.”

“So, tell me about Mike.” Dean realized he had hit a sore spot and he didn’t want to push him.

“Well, he’s a doctor, pediatrician actually. He lives in Utah with his wife and two kids. I see him about once a year now.” Cas replied. He had only relaxed slightly and Dean wanted him to go back to be relaxed and happy again.

“So, aside from the fact that I like classic rock and old cars, what exactly made you want to invite me tonight?” 

Cas blinked, surprised by the sudden change in topic. “Because I like you Dean. I find you very interesting, not to mention incredibly attractive, but looks alone don’t draw me to a person. I like that you pushed yourself and went to college and got your degree, and not only that, you teach high school English. That tells me you have a love for the written word. If I had to wager a guess I’d say you probably are a writer as well as a teacher. You speak very highly of your brother which tells me you value family, even those not technically blood related, because I saw how you were with Ellen, and how you spoke about Jo. The fact that you like the same kind of music as me and love classic cars, and you aren’t put off by my tattoos, well, that just makes you really fucking sexy in my book.”

Dean wanted to come up with something witty and flirty based on Cas’ last comment, but he was too busy being humbled by everything that had preceded it.

“I’m nothing special Cas. I’m just a teacher that likes cars and can play a little guitar. I’m nowhere near as talented as you are, that’s for sure.” Was what actually came out of his mouth.

“Do me a favor Dean, don’t sell yourself short. If I tell you that you’re amazing then you are fucking amazing.” Cas said firmly.

“I’d have to agree with that one sugar.” Pam had appeared with their food and was placing the plates down in front of each of them. Dean deliberately did not look up at her.

“Thanks Pam, we don’t need anything else right now.” He said.

“Ok, enjoy your meal fellas.” 

She left them to eat in peace but Dean found that he had lost his appetite. He didn’t think he was worthy of someone considering him amazing, but here Cas was telling him that he was. He didn’t know exactly how to handle the compliment. He missed Cas getting up until the man was sliding onto the seat next to him and putting an arm around him.

“Dean, do you really think that low of yourself?” Cas asked softly. He had one arm around Dean’s shoulders, pulling him closer and with his free hand he was holding the man’s hand on his thigh since he was sitting so close there was no room between them.

“I still don’t get why you like me.” Dean said quietly.

Cas took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he answered that.

“Dean, you aren’t looking at yourself the way I see you. You’re intelligent, you can hold a conversation which, I have to tell you is a real turn on, you’re funny and kind, and humble. Those are all qualities I look for in a person I’m interested in. Dean, you’re lighting up all across the board for me, ok? The fact that you get me hard just looking at me is the icing on the cake. Cause hot damn you’re easy on the eyes babe.”

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “I think the same thing about you actually, on all of that. It’s what attracted me to you in the first place. Benny made a comment on the ride home last weekend about how before I met you all I did was go from one vanilla relationship to the next. And I realized he was right. But for me, what made them vanilla was that there wasn’t any spark, no real connection. I feel like I have that connection with you Cas. I really like you and I don’t want to mess this up.” He looked up to find warm blue eyes looking back at him.

“I’m feeling that connection too, and I want to see where this goes, but I also don’t want to rush into things. The last gut I was seeing…let’s just say, we went from zero to sixty to slamming on the brakes completely, all in about two weeks’ time, and I really would like something more substantial with you Dean, that’s if you want that too.”

“I do Cas, I really do.” 

Cas smiled and despite the fact that they were sitting in the middle of a diner where other people could see them, he leaned in and kissed Dean. It was soft, reassuring, and the smile lingered on his lips even after he had pulled back. Dean was smiling too.

“Let’s eat because I think I might die of starvation soon.” Cas exclaimed.

Instead of returning to his seat he just pulled his place over and picked up his burger. Dean did the same though he froze as Cas let out a sinful moan around his first bite.

“Oh this…this is delicious.” 

“Yeah, I can tell.” Dean had to shift again as his pants had suddenly become quite tight. Cas caught the movement and dared a glance down at his date’s lap, a smirk on his lips. His next bite he moaned even louder. With a dissatisfied grunt Dean grabbed his own burger and dug in.

The rest of the meal went faster than Dean wanted. They ordered pie and remained seated next to one another which garnered them a look of disappointment from Pam, but neither man cared. They ate the pie slowly, feeding one another bites since they had ordered two different kinds. When the meal was over Dean paid and they managed to get out the front door without Pam stopping them.

“You weren’t kidding, the food here is awesome.” Cas said, rubbing his full stomach.

“Yeah, I just wish I’d known Pam was back. I am still sorry about that.” Dean felt compelled to apologize for the woman’s behavior.

“It’s cool. I have you, she doesn’t, so if anyone should be jealous, it’s her, and I’m pretty sure she is now.” Dean was leaning against the passenger side door and Cas leaned into him, pinning him in place as he spoke. He brought his hands up, splaying them across Dean’s chest as he leaned in and kissed him. The sudden tinny sound of classical music brought them both back to the present. 

“Oh, that’s my phone, sorry.” Cas stood up straight again and pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Hello?”

Dean didn’t want to eavesdrop despite being close enough to hear the other person on the line so he let his mind wander. He wondered what Cas would feel like, naked and covered in sweat in his bed. Cas seemed rather dominant and Dean found himself turned on by the thought. It had been ages since he had bottomed and the thought that he might get the chance to do it with Cas thrilled him. It was actually what he preferred, though he was loathe to openly admit that to anyone. 

It sounded like Cas was talking to someone from the band as they were discussing a blown amp and Dean took the opportunity to grope the man. He slid his hands over the man’s low rise jeans (they really were leaving nothing to the imagination), and skimmed them across his narrow hips. His fingers encountered something interesting and while Cas was still distracted he lifted up the hem of the man’s shirt. What he had felt was more piercings, right there on the man’s hips. Cas suddenly noticed and pulled his shirt down, though when Dean looked up at him he had a wicked grin on his face. He turned his back on Dean and then leaned back, effectively pinning him against the car once more as he continued to talk on the phone. Dean couldn’t help but touch the man and he slid his hands over Cas’ belly as he pulled the man back against him.

“This is something better left to discussion during the morning hours, when you are not drunk. I’m hanging up now and we will discuss purchasing a new amp tomorrow. Goodnight Balthazar.” He hung up and stuck the phone in his right front pocket but he didn’t move from where he was still pressed up against Dean.

“That was cheating. You can’t go hunting for my piercings when I’m not even looking.” He said with a smirk.

“Why there though? On your hips? I’ve never seen them there before.” Dean wanted to slide his hand lower, find those little balls of metal again but Cas had placed a hand firmly over both of his, locking them against his belly.

“When we know one another a little better I’ll explain that to you. For now though, dinner has made me very sleepy. I’d like to go home and sleep for a century, but I have rehearsals bright and early tomorrow, so as much as I’d love this evening to continue, I’m beat and I need to get some sleep.” Cas said with a reluctant sigh.

“That’s fine.” Dean said, though he hid his disappointment well. 

“I’d like to do this again though, soon.” Cas said as he tilted his head back to look up at him. Dean smiled.

“Yeah, me too. Did you have a day in mind?”

Cas bit down on his lower lip for a second before saying “Would tomorrow be too soon?”

“No, it’s not too soon, I’d love to see you again tomorrow.” Dean didn’t even try to tamper down his excitement and it made Cas chuckle.

“Ok, well I’m in rehearsals until four but we can do something after that. Maybe I could cook you dinner?”

Dean turned Cas around in his arms so that they standing chest to chest.

“Or…since you’ll have been working all day, how about I do the cooking?”

Cas smiled. “I like that idea better. I’m not the best cook.”

“You’re in luck then because I’m a pretty darn good one. Anything you can’t or won’t eat?” Dean asked.

“I don’t like onions, and I’m not crazy about tomatoes, unless they’re in a sauce or ketchup. But otherwise, I’ll eat just about anything.” Cas replied. He brought his arms up around Dean’s neck.

“Is this ok?” He asked.

“Yeah, it is.” Dean said a moment before he leaned down to kiss him. There wasn’t much of a height difference between them but since Cas was leaning against him, it made the difference slightly greater. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist and pulled him closer.

“I’m comfortable with you Dean, like I’ve known you for way longer than a week, and I feel like that should scare me, but it doesn’t.” Cas’ words were hesitant, as though he were afraid to say them aloud for fear that Dean would reject him, but Dean only pulled him even closer.

“Yeah, it’s easy with you, and I like that. I don’t feel like I have to pretend to be something I’m not when I’m with you.”

Cas smiled and Dean felt the butterflies explode in his belly. It was an absolutely dazzling thing to behold as the man’s entire face lit up with it, right up into those amazing blue eyes. For a moment he forgot to breathe.

“Will you maybe play something for me after dinner tomorrow?” 

“You want to hear me play?” Dean was surprised by that.

“Yes I do.” Cas said firmly. He pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Dean’s mouth making the taller man practically melt.

“Yeah, ok, I can do that.”

Cas kissed him once more before standing up straight. “I have rehearsals starting at eight, so I need sleep, otherwise I could stand here talking forever.”

Dean turned and opened his car door for him, closing it again once Cas was safely inside. His heart was soaring, and he was ridiculously happy in that moment, something he hadn’t been in years. He hurried around to the driver’s side and slid in behind the wheel. 

Once they pulled out of the parking lot Cas’ hand found his again. The drive to Cas’ apartment went much too fast but the conversation flowed easily between them. Dean walked him to his door and they shared one last kiss before Dean left. Cas was just about to unlock the door when it flew open.

“And where were you?” His friend Balthazar was asking. At least he had sobered up some since their phone call.

 

“On a date, you knew that.” Cas pushed past him and tossed his keys in the bowl on the table by the door. Balthazar shut the door and followed him into the living room.

“With the yuppy you kissed? How unlike you.” Balthazar said dryly.

Cas was kicking off his boots and he glared up at his friend.

“Yes, and his name is Dean. He is by no means a yuppy. Don’t insult him.”

“He’s so….boring.” Balthazar frowned.

“He is not boring, and this might surprise you but we actually have a lot in common.” Cas stripped off his tee shirt as he headed towards his bedroom. Balthazar still followed.

“He must be good in the sack for you to be defending him like this.”

Cas spun around to face Balthazar, the fury in his face enough to stop the other man in his tracks.

“We have NOT slept together, and I’m not rushing it with him, he deserves better than that!”

Balthazar’s smirk grew wider. “Oh…you actually like him. Enough to actually try the relationship thing?”

Cas’ shoulders slumped and the anger bled out of him. “Yes, I like him, and I do want to try being in a relationship. He’s…amazing.”

“So when are you seeing him again?”

“Tomorrow after rehearsals. I’m going to his place for dinner, he’s cooking.”

“Hmm. And you think you can keep it in your pants being alone with Mr. Amazing?” Balthazar asked. He was genuinely curious now.

“I’d like to think I can. I really like him, I don’t want to mess this up.” Cas replied as he dug in his drawer for sweatpants to sleep in. He stripped out of his jeans and pulled the soft cotton pants on.

“And what does Dean do for a living? What have you actually learned about him?” Balthazar leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms. Cas wasn’t getting rid of him until his interrogation was over, he knew that much.

“He’s a high school English teacher, he drives a ’67 Impala, he plays guitar, has two brothers but is only close with one. I think the other is a half-brother, and his dad wasn’t around much when he was growing up. And he really, really likes pie. He’s not superficial, he’s not wrapped up in his good looks, because God is he gorgeous, and he’s funny, thoughtful, and easy to talk to. There, happy now? Have I answered all of your questions?”

Balthazar chuckled. “You really have it bad. I can’t wait to meet Mr. Amazing.” He turned to walk away. “Goodnight Cassie, sleep well.” He called over his shoulder as he disappeared into his own bedroom.

The sigh that escaped Cas’ lips was something closer to a moan, grateful that Balthazar had decided to drop his inquisition for now. He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and then returned to his room. As he slid under the covers his mind turned to Dean. He slid a hand over the piercings at his hips, remembering what it had felt like earlier when Dean had touched them. That was going to be an interesting conversation when they finally got around to it. He just hoped Dean didn’t think he was a freak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the way the characters are developing. Leave a comment, let me know what you think. I love you guys!


	3. Attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has invited Cas over for dinner. Charlie encourages Dean to come clean with Cas about something, so he takes a chance and does. It leads to some important revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an important chapter regarding what Dean confesses to Cas, and how Cas could or could not take the news.

The drive home was quiet and Dean cranked up the radio to drown out the silence. When he walked in the apartment he found his brother sitting up on the couch reading a book. From where he stood it looked like he was reading Tolstoy. Sam looked up and smiled.

“How was the concert?”

“It was really good. They’re fantastic.” Dean kicked off his boots and walked over to the couch. He plopped down at the other end from his brother.

“And your date afterwards? It went well?” 

“If you’re asking did I sleep with him, the answer is no.” Dean looked over to see his brother frowning at him.

“That is not what I was asking. I was just asking how the date itself went.”

“I fucked up, brought him by The Silver Spoon. Pam’s working there again.” Dean laid his head against the back of the couch and sighed. 

“Oh shit, was she all over you?”

“Yeah, and she tried it with Cas too but I nipped that quickly. I don’t know why she doesn’t understand the meaning of the word no.” 

Sam closed his book and set it on the coffee table.

“So…do you like Cas?” He asked.

“I wouldn’t have gone tonight if I didn’t.” Dean replied.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” Sam frowned.

“Yeah, sorry. Yes, ok? I do like him, a lot. He’s not like anyone I’ve ever dated before. He’s witty and smart, and easy to talk to. I like being with him.”

“So when are you seeing him again?” Sam asked.

“About that…”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, I need to find somewhere else to be tomorrow night.”

Dean turned to look at his brother, a soft smile on his face. Sam hadn’t expected that. A leering grin maybe, but not the soft smile that was there now.

“He has rehearsals all day tomorrow, so I offered to make him dinner here.”

“That’s a nice gesture. Do you know what you’re going to make?”

“Not a clue. I probably have to go grocery shopping in the morning.” Dean said.

“Did you tell him you took cooking classes?” Sam asked.

“No, I want to surprise him.”

“I think he’ll be pleasantly surprised, you’re a really good cook.” 

“Thanks Sammy.”

Sam got up and stretched. “I’ll go text Jess, make sure I can stay there tomorrow night.”

“Thanks man, I appreciate it.”

“You’d do the same for me. I’m heading to bed, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Night.” Dean said to his brother’s retreating form. 

He stayed on the couch a few minutes longer before getting up and heading to his own room. As he stripped down his thoughts turned to Cas. The man was gorgeous and he was intrigued by the tattoos and piercings. He knew there had to be a story behind each one, and he wondered where else he was pierced. That thought alone made his dick twitch with interest. He pushed that thought out of his head and stripped down to his boxers before going to brush his teeth. Back in his room he climbed into his bed and pulled the covers up to his chest. The last thought he had before he drifted off to sleep was of Cas’ smiling face and those oh so blue eyes.

The next morning Dean went into a cleaning frenzy. Sam tried to escape but Dean wrangled him into cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming the living room while he cleaned the kitchen and even made his bed. He didn’t think Cas would be seeing his bed any time soon, but if he gave the grand tour he wanted everything to look nice. The apartment wasn’t dirty but cleaning and organizing helped to calm his brain as well as helping to make the hours pass by quickly enough that he wasn’t left staring at the wall clock and chewing his nails off.

He made a quick run to the store to pick up food for dinner and when he got back he found that Charlie had arrived. It was only three and he was glad for the company. She and Sam were sitting on the couch watching Guardians of the Galaxy when he walked in, arms laden with bags. Both Charlie and Sam scrambled to help him.

“What’s all this?” Charlie asked once they got the bags to the kitchen. She had spied a bottle of wine and pulled it out. Dean snatched it from her hands and set it in the fridge to chill.

“Dean has a hot date tonight. He’s cooking dinner for Cas.” Sam’s tone was teasing but the look on his face was affectionate enough that Dean let it slide.

“Cas? As in the tattooed, pierced hottie from last weekend?” Charlie asked. She was pulling items out of the bags and handing them over to Dean to put away.

“Yes, that Cas.” He replied.

“Cas invited him to his concert last night, and then they went out to dinner. Tonight Dean’s doing the cooking.” Sam elaborated, ignoring his brother’s glare.

“Two nights in a row? That’s pretty serious. You really like him, huh.” She mused as she handed over a package of garlic butter.

“Yes, I really like him, are you happy now?”

“Does he know?” Charlie asked once the last bag was empty. She tucked the bags into the drawer under the sink and sat down at the island.

“No, I didn’t think it was important to tell him this early on.” Dean replied. He was deliberately keeping his back to her as he pulled out the pans he would need later to make dinner.

“Dean, that’s not something you hide from someone. Cause if you don’t feel something for him it’s not fair to him if he keeps making the effort for nothing.” She told him.

He turned to look at her. Thankfully Sam had left the room.

“But I do. I felt it last weekend when we kissed, and it was like an explosion last night when I held him in my arms. I’ve never felt it that strongly before. It was intense.” He admitted. Charlie’s face lit up and she smiled.

“Really? You like him? Like…LIKE him like him?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I really do. He’s so easy to talk to, and so fucking sexy it’s ridiculous.”

 

“I didn’t know that tattoos and piercings were your thing.” She teased. Dean blushed and continued pulling out what he would need to cook.

“I don’t know that that’s it. It’s just…him. The overall package. He’s drop dead gorgeous, sure, but it’s more than that. You know I’ve dated some damn hot people in my time, but they always lacked something important. Cas is smart and talented, and he thinks I’m amazing. He said that several times last night.”

“You are amazing Dean, stop putting yourself down. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” She picked up a salt shaker off the table and turned it around in her hands. It was shaped like the Impala, a gift from her to him for Christmas the year before.

“Do I get to formally meet him? I really only caught a glimpse of him last weekend.”

“He’ll be here in a couple of hours, I’ll introduce you, but you can’t stay.” He said.

“That’s fine. I just want to get a look at what gorgeous is to you. I barely got a glimpse at him last time.” She set the salt shaker back on the table.

“Can I help?” She hopped down from the stool and moved over to where he was going over a list he had on the counter.

“Sure. How about you pull the salmon out of the fridge?”

The next few hours were spent chatting as they prepped the meal had had planned out. He was hoping Cas would be impressed that he was making salmon, but more importantly he really hoped the man liked it. He had texted Cas his address but he hadn’t heard from the man all day. When the doorbell rang at ten to five he was in the middle of washing dishes.

“I’ll get it!” Sam called out.

Dean hurried to finish the last dish and dry his hands. When he turned around he found Cas and his brother standing in the doorway.

“Hey.” Cas said, smiling.

“Hey yourself.” 

Cas looked at Charlie who was pulling a pie from the oven.

“Oh, Cas, I know I only pointed to her last weekend, but this is Charlie. Charlie, here is your formal introduction to Cas.” Dean watched as she set the pie on the trivet to cool and tossed aside the oven mitt. She practically sauntered over to the man and thrust her hand out.

“Nice to meet you Cas.” Her normal bubbly personality was shining brightly and Cas smiled wider.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” 

“So you play the cello and you’re in a rock band? That’s like wicked cool.” She said.

“I like to think it is.” He said.

“I’d love to hear your band sometime.” 

“I’ll let you know the next time we’re playing in the area.” He told her.

“I hope you like dinner, I’m heading out, I have a hot date tonight.” Charlie said as she slid past Cas and Sam who had just walked back in .

“Be gentle, I don’t think Dorothy can handle you at full battery!” Dean called after her.

“Whatever Winchester, see you later!” She yelled and a moment later the front door closed. Dean knew she’d be texting him later with her opinion on Cas.

Sam stepped into the kitchen and dug around in the fridge until he pulled out a bottle with a green liquid in it. He noticed both men looking at it with matching expressions of horror on their faces and chuckled.

“It’s a kale smoothie. I’m bringing it to Jess’. After we run in the morning it will replenish me.” 

“Or…you could eat breakfast like a normal person.” Dean said, shaking his head.

“I’ll have breakfast.” Sam rolled his eyes and walked out of the kitchen.

“I’ll see you at some point tomorrow.” He called out as he left the apartment. 

“See ya Sammy!” Dean yelled back.

“So, how was rehearsal?” He asked as he took out the plates and began setting the table.

“Long and for me at least, unnecessary. I know my part, but others depend on me, so I have to be there.” Cas sighed. Dean could see that he was tired.

“If you just want to eat and go home that’s alright. I had a movie for after, but we can do that some other night.”

Cas quickly shook his head. “No, a movie sounds great.” He was wearing a tie but had already loosened it and he took it off. He unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. To Dean’s surprise he wore jeans not dress pants.

“Can I help?” 

“Sure, here.” Dean handed him several covered dishes and together they got everything except the pie moved to the table. Dean uncovered the dish with the salmon, noting the smile that appeared on Cas’ face at the sight of it. He served them both and sat back for a moment to watch Cas take his first bite.

“I know you said no onions or tomatoes, but I hope garlic is ok.” He bit down on his lower lip in anticipation as Cas placed the first bite in his mouth. The moan that escaped the man’s lips made Dean bite down harder. He picked up his own fork and started eating.

“So, you like it I take it?” He asked.

“This is the best salmon I’ve ever had! I didn’t know it could taste this good! It puts to shame anything I could have made if you’d come to my place. Aside from dealing with my annoying roommate, who is also my bandmate, I’d have probably just made like tacos or something. This? This is like pure heaven! Where did you learn to cook?” Cas took a bite of the homemade mashed potatoes and groaned as the burst of garlic hit him.

“I thought the garlic was in the fish!” He slapped a hand over his mouth when he realized he was talking with food in his mouth. Dean just chuckled.

“I mostly learned to cook from Ellen as a kid, but then I took some lessons. I like cooking, it feels like I’m creating something unique when I can mix herbs and create new dishes. I’m glad you like it.” 

The sinful noises Cas made continued throughout the meal and when Dean said he had made the entire pie from scratch Cas’ jaw dropped.

“You bake too? I burn pre-made cookie dough for heaven’s sake!” 

Dean laughed at that. He cut them each a piece of the cherry pie and then fetched the vanilla ice cream from the freezer. He spooned some onto both of their plates and sprinkled cinnamon over the ice cream. Cas continued to rave about the pie as he ate. Dean couldn’t help but feel proud as Cas praised his culinary skills. When the meal was over Cas insisted on being the one to do the dishes and he proved to be quite stubborn. Luckily Dean had a dishwasher so while Cas rinsed the plates, he moved them to the dishwasher. When the leftovers were saved Dean took him by the hand and led him to the living room.

“What movie are we watching?” Cas asked as Dean motioned for him to sit down on the couch.

“I didn’t know your tastes or what you’ve already seen, so I rented a couple. If you don’t like them I have Netflix, or a large movie collection.” Dean motioned towards built in shelves in the corner that were loaded with movies.

“Actually, I don’t watch a lot of movies so I’ve probably not seen anything you’ve rented. Whatever you choose is fine.” Cas told him.

Dean looked horrified. “Dude, no. You have to have some kind of preferences. Comedy? Horror? Sci fi? Something?”

Cas had stretched his arms out along the back of the couch so that his shirt pulled tight across his chest, though Dean was not noticing that. He was too shocked by Cas’ lack of movie experience.

“Um, I don’t think I’ve seen any horror movies, but I know a lot of people that like them. Comedies nowadays all seem to be romantic and though I’m gay, I’m not THAT gay. Action I guess is good, or sci fi? I don’t think I’ve ever seen any sci fi movies.” Cas felt foolish admitting this as the look on Dean’s face showed the man was clearly shocked.

“Tell me you’ve seen Star Wars.” Dean begged. Cas bit his lower lip and shook his head.

“I…wasn’t allowed to watch television or go to the movies as a kid. I had to practice constantly. I didn’t have a social life at all until I left home. Now…I dunno. I find other things to do so I don’t really watch much television at all, and I don’t go to the movies.”

Dean set down the movies he had rented and marched over to the shelves full of movies.

“Well, since you’re a movie virgin I will make it my mission to educate you. We’re starting with Star Wars, Episode One. There are six in the series.”

“We can’t watch six movies tonight!” Cas exclaimed.

“I know.” Dean smiled at him and Cas felt something warm blossoming in his chest at the sight of it. Six movies. That meant Dean wanted him to come back.

Dean got the movie started and of all the things Cas expected, making out, conversation, even sex, actually watching the movie was not one of them, but watch it they did. In all actuality Cas watched it and Dean watched him watching it, to gauge his reaction to certain scenes. Cas didn’t mind actually. They sat close, thighs touching and holding hands. It was intimate without overstepping any boundaries, and Cas found that he liked that. A lot. The movie itself was entertaining and Dean’s excitement over certain scenes was downright adorable. It was after nine when the movie ended and Dean turned to look at him.

“I don’t know if you have rehearsal again tomorrow or not. Did you want to watch another movie?” 

“Unfortunately I do have rehearsal. We don’t have a traditional Monday through Friday work schedule. Sometimes I wish we did but…my evenings are always free.” Cas ran a thumb over the back of Dean’s hands when he saw the brief look of disappointment on his face.

“That’s cool. I have a summer school class I need to figure out what literature I want them to read. Once I figure out which book I’m going to have them read I need to get the course work planned out. It starts Monday and I’m torn between Romeo and Juliet and The Merchant of Venice. It’s a freshman class full of lazy kids. I think Merchant might be over their heads.” Dean pursed his lips as his mind wandered to the book choices he was considering.

“So challenge them. Merchant of Venice is good and it will make them think. They already know how Romeo and Juliet ends.” Cas said.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I enjoy Merchant better anyway. No reason to give them room to slack.”

Cas smiled, delighted that he was able to help with such a trivial thing. “Do you read a lot Dean?”

“If you’re asking have I read all of Shakespeare’s works, yes. But yeah, I’m an avid reader.” 

“Who’s your favorite author?” Cas asked.

“Vonnegut, hands down.” Dean quickly replied.

“Huh, I don’t think I’m familiar with that author.” Cas eyed the book on the coffee table. “Who’s reading Tolstoy?”

“Sam, he probably reads even more than I do. Come here, I want to show you something.”

Dean stood up and pulled Cas to his feet. He threaded their fingers together as he led Cas down the hall.

“Check this out.” He opened his bedroom door to reveal a rather simple room with solid wood furniture, but the first thing Cas noticed was that there were bookshelves against three walls filled with what looked like hundreds of books. 

“Wow, can I…can I look?” He looked up at Dean who nodded. Cas let go of his hand and walked across the room to the book shelves. There was modern literature as well as much older tomes. He recognized Poe, Hawthorn, King, Bronte, but there were many more that he had never heard of, however he was interested in learning what Dean liked about them.

“Now come here and check this out.” Dean motioned for Cas to follow him across the hall where he opened another door and turned on the light inside. Cas gasped as he took it all in. Dean had a lot of books but it was nothing in comparison to this room. He had expected it to be Sam’s bedroom but instead it was a room that Dean had converted into his own personal library. It held more books than he could count. Every wall was lined with floor to ceiling shelves and every shelf was filled to capacity.

“This is amazing Dean! Where did you find bookshelves that fit so perfectly?” Cas asked as he perused the contents of the shelves at eye level.

“I, uh, built them myself.” Dean replied. Cas turned to look at him, his surprise obvious.

“You built these? They’re magnificent! So you’re telling me you can play guitar, fix cars, cook, do carpentry, and you’re into literature? If you ever tell me again that you aren’t absolutely the most amazing man I’ve ever met I’m going to have to hurt you.”

Dean blushed but he couldn’t help the grin on his face. “Thanks.” He wanted to say again that he was nothing special but he was afraid Cas might live up to his threat, and he wasn’t sure his idea of pain was the same as Cas’.

“So, you have to go I guess.” Dean was not happy that Cas had to leave, but he understood, and he wasn’t ready to go beyond kissing at this point. The last thing he wanted to do was screw up the best thing to happen to him in years.

“I don’t have to walk out the door right this minute, but I will have to leave soon.” Cas walked over to where Dean was standing in the doorway and wrapped his arms around his waist. He pressed a kiss to Dean’s neck and smiled as the man seemed to just melt in his arms.

“Come on, let’s go back to the living room.” 

Cas turned off the light and took Dean by the hand. It was too tempting standing this close to Dean’s bedroom, and to Dean’s bed. Dean followed willingly and let Cas pull him back down onto the couch. It was obvious Dean was nervous and he didn’t want to push him out of his comfort zone this soon in their relationship (Cas paused for a moment. Was that what this was? An actual relationship? It had to be, he had usually had sex and moved on by this point), but he was dying to know what Dean felt like under his fingertips. He grabbed the front of Dean’s shirt and gently pulled the man to him until he could kiss him. It was slow, tentative and Cas got the feeling that Dean was holding back. 

“Dean, do I scare you?” He asked, pulling back enough to be able to speak without his words being muffled.

“Scare me? No, why?” Dean asked, confused by the question.

“It feels like you’re holding back, like maybe I intimidate you.” Cas admitted.

“No, not at all. That’s not it.” This was not how Dean wanted to have to explain himself.

“Do you not like me?” Cas pulled back further so he could look Dean in the eye.

“If I didn’t like you my heart wouldn’t be racing right now and I sure as hell wouldn’t have invited you to my house for dinner. I don’t invite people I date over here. You can ask Sam or Charlie if you don’t believe me.” Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and pressed it against his chest, right over his heart. He hadn’t been lying, it was beating very fast. A quick glance down told him Little Dean was on board too.

“Why would you think I don’t like you?” Dean asked.

A loaded question, Cas thought. “This, it scares the crap out of me to be honest. I like you Dean, a lot. I…don’t normally date. But I want more with you. I really like you, and I guess I’m afraid maybe you don’t cause it feels like you’re hesitating. Like you don’t want to kiss me, or touch me. Last night felt different, but tonight you seem more reserved.”

“Oh geez…” Dean ran a hand through his hair and tried to think of a way to voice how he felt without coming off sounding like an asshole.

“Cas, I need to explain something to you, and I want you to completely hear me out, and please, this is a sensitive subject for me so don’t make fun of me.”

It bothered Cas to hear Dean say that. Had someone mocked him in the past over what he was about to say? 

“I promise I’ll listen to everything you have to say.” He was careful to make his expression neutral, losing the cocky smirk he tended to wear nowadays.

Dean took a deep breath and started talking.

“You know how I said yesterday that Benny was teasing me that I’ve just gone from one vanilla relationship to another, until I met you?” 

Cas nodded. “You said you felt a connection with me.”

“That’s right.” Dean took another deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I am demisexual. Do you know what that is?”

Cas squinted, tilting his head in a way Dean found adorable. “I’m not familiar with that term.”

“Ok, so you know how you were asking me last week if Lisa was my type and I said no?”

Cas nodded.

“Well, it’s because I literally don’t have a type. I guess if you had to slap a label on it, I’m pansexual, but for the demi part, what that means is that in order for me to want to be romantic and…have…sex with a person I need to feel that connection I mentioned last night to you. You’re the first person I’ve ever really felt this way about, like…ever. I’ve gone my entire life sort of feeling numb. I’ve dated, I’ve had sex, but it was like I wasn’t really feeling anything at all. It’s so different with you. When you touch me, it’s like electricity is running under my skin and it makes fireworks go off in a way that I have never in my life felt before. It’s like I was asleep but now I’m wide awake. As though after a lifetime of not feeling anything towards anyone, I suddenly feel EVERYTHING. Like a switch was just flipped. I’m trying to adapt to it and it’s a little overwhelming. I really am not trying to scare you off, I just need you to understand where I’m coming from. I’m not holding back, really I’m not.” Dean was holding both of Cas’ hands in his as he explained this. He was desperate for Cas to understand, for Cas to still want him.

“Sensory overload, right?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Dean admitted.

“It’s ok Dean, this? I can deal with this. I thought maybe you had changed your mind. After I stopped you from touching me yesterday, and then you didn’t do anything but hold my hand tonight, I thought I’d done something wrong.”

Dean shook his head and brought Cas’ hands up to his lips, kissing each one. “You didn’t do anything wrong, nothing at all, I promise.”

Cas smiled. “That’s good. I honestly don’t know what pansexual is either, but I swear I’ll learn. I want to get to know you Dean, know what makes you tick, your likes, your dislikes, just…everything. And we can take it slow, that’s ok too. I’m guessing that I don’t need to tell you that I prefer to be exclusive since it seems like you’re currently only attracted to me, right?”

“Only you, and I don’t play the field. I’m a one person type guy.” Dean tugged on Cas’ hands.

“Come here.” 

As Cas moved closer he grabbed him by the hips and pulled him into his lap until the man was straddling his lap.

“This ok?” He asked as he pressed soft kisses to Cas’ throat.

“Yeah…yeah that’s ok.” Cas gasped when Dean nipped at his collarbone. Fuck that felt good!

Dean’s hands had slid from Cas’ hips down to his ass where he squeezed and pulled him down hard against him.

“Fuck…” Cas grabbed Dean’s shoulders and held on as Dean licked and nibbled at his throat, letting out breathy little moans when the tender area behind his ear was nipped.

“Jesus Dean, I’m gonna come in my pants if you keep this up!” Cas ducked his head to catch Dean’s mouth with his own and licked his way inside. This time it was Dean that was moaning as Cas grabbed his hips and ground down against him. Slowly he eased back, kissing his way lazily down Dean’s jaw and sucking a hickey into his shoulder, just under where it would show when he started teaching summer school next week.

“This feels amazing, but I don’t want to rush things with you and possibly ruin it. I like you too much for that, so I’m going to go home now and take a cold shower and do my best not to imagine you naked.” Cas kissed him again, his tongue once more working its way into Dean’s mouth. He loved the way the man under him tasted. The anticipation of having sex with Dean was thrilling and he really wanted things to work out between them, and that meant slowing things down. Slowly he climbed off Dean’s lap, ignoring the annoyed huff he got in response.

“When can I see you again?” Dean asked as he got to his feet. Cas looked up at him, that wicked smirk back on his lips.

“I have rehearsals most of the week, and some band related stuff I need to take care of, but we can text and I’ll let you know what nights I’m free. Plus I want to take you out again, my treat this time.”

“I’d like that.” Dean wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. He kissed Cas one last time. When they finally pulled apart it was with a reluctant sigh on both their parts.

“Drive safe.” Dean told him.

“What’s the fun in that?” Cas winked and Dean laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the chapter. Ha ha ha, no sex yet. We have to wait on that on purpose. You'll see why soon enough...


	4. Phone Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what the chapter title says, lol.
> 
> Cas texts Dean and things get heated. Dean's mind wanders as he thinks of where Cas' other unseen piercings are, and he starts to worry...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going out for the evening, so here's some good old fashioned smut for you guys before I go. I can still check my comments though as I'll have my phone with me, so comment away, you all know I love talking with you. I hope you enjoy it because no joke, it took me 4 long days to finish this one scene. The idea of phone sex, or sexting makes me highly uncomfortable. I don't do it. I had a couple of people try it with me but I'm so pathetic. It's like "What are you wearing right now?" And I'm like "Clothes." "What would you do to me if I was there right now?" My response "Feed you and watch a movie with you." Duh, I just get very uncomfortable with it. So it took me FOREVER to complete this scene, and it feels substandard to me, but whatever. They'll get to the actual sex soon enough. ;)

When Cas was gone Dean went back to the kitchen to wipe down the island and the counters. He was trying to give his erection time to go down but all he could do was think about Cas and how good he’d felt in his hands. Cas made him feel alive like no one else had before and he loved it. He was wild and sexy and wanted to be serious with him. That in and of itself had Dean absolutely flabbergasted. Someone as beautiful as Cas wanted him when he could have anyone in the world. 

As he made his way to his room he wondered, if Cas made it to be a famous musician, would he still be interested in him? Would he still be what Cas wanted? The thought of losing him made Dean’s heart physically ache. How had he fallen so hard for the man so quickly? It wasn’t love, no, he was nowhere near that yet, but he did truly like the man. 

Unable to sleep, his nerves thrumming with pent up energy, Dean grabbed his guitar and sat down at the foot of his bed. The opening cords began to pour forth before he had even really decided on what song he wanted to play, and as he began to sing the words he realized they were how he was feeling about Cas.

_Wise men say, only fools rush in,_  
But I can't help falling in love  
With you.  
I can't help falling in love with you  
Shall I stay, would it be a sin,  
If I can't help falling in love  
With you. 

_Like a river flows,_  
Surely to the sea.  
Darling, so it goes.  
Some things are meant to be.  
Take my hand,  
Take my whole life too,  
For I can't help falling in love  
With you. 

_Like a river flows,_  
Surely to the sea.  
Darling, so we go  
Some things are meant to be.  
Take my hand,  
Take my whole life too,  
I can't help falling in love  
With you. 

_For I can't help falling in love_  
With you.  
Yes I can't help falling in love with you  
No I can't help falling in love with you 

 

As the last cord fell away Dean turned to stare out the window, his brain now working harder than it had when he sat down to play. The guitar was supposed to help him unwind and relax, not make him think harder. Was he in love? It couldn’t be love, not this soon. But if this wasn’t love then what the hell was it?

 

“Dean’s Sunday was spent setting up everything he was going to need for the eight weeks of summer school English. He had his syllabus ready and all of the quizzes and tests for the entire course printed out and stored neatly inside his briefcase, ready to go. His first week went smoother than he had anticipated and the highlight of every day was the texts he got from Cas. The man took the time out of his rehearsals to text him and send him words of encouragement, and sometimes just to tell him how much he missed him. Every text had Dean smiling like a fool and they sent the butterflies in his belly a flight. 

They only got to see one another briefly Wednesday evening when they met for dinner but Dean loved every moment they got to spend together. Friday he saw Cas for lunch and Saturday they spent the evening together watching the second and third installments of Star Wars. Sunday Cas had told him he needed to do housework, mainly laundry and cleaning up, so Dean took the opportunity to do the same around his own place. He had organized the coursework for that week’s class before heading to the kitchen to make dinner. He whipped up a quick lasagna and popped it in the oven while Sam prepared a salad. As he was wiping down the counters his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out to find that he had a text. He smiled when he saw who it was from.

Cas: Hey gorgeous, what are you doing?

He couldn’t help but smile.

Dean: Just got dinner in the oven. Sam wanted lasagna. What are you doing?

Cas: Laundry. I had half of a left over sub for lunch, Balthazar ate all the food again.

Dean: Sam eats enough for three people. He’ll eat half of this lasagna and the salad he’s making right now, and I guarantee he’ll be up later for seconds.

Cas: That’s an impressive appetite. Did you already sort out what you’re giving your class tomorrow?

Dean: I did. Syllabus, assignments and the rest are in my briefcase and ready to go.

Cas: So do you do like pop quizzes? 

Dean: Hell yeah I do. Gotta get my kicks in somehow.

Cas: That’s evil. I like it. 

Dean: I just hate that I have to dress up for work. They’re not turning the air on this summer. I’m boiling alive in that classroom.

Cas: That sucks, and you can’t wear shorts at all?

Dean: No, but I have several pairs of thin khakis that I wear. I have to wear long sleeve shirts though, can’t show tattoos at work. Sucks ass if you ask me since most of my students already have them. I’m coming home every day after work and taking a shower, I’m so sweaty.

Cas: I didn’t know you had tattoos? Since when? And where???

Dean: I’m not telling. Guess you’ll have to find them later. ;)

Cas: I knew that was going to come back and bite me, lol. 

Dean: Yeah, well, serves you right for teasing me like you do.

Cas: You like it though.

Dean: Maybe I do.

Cas: So can I guess where your tattoos are since I didn’t notice them?

Dean: I was wearing a flannel over my tee shirt every time you saw me. Flannel is in my soul.

Cas: I’ve noticed, but I like it.

Dean: You can guess but that doesn’t mean I’m going to fess up.

Cas: Such a tease.

Dean: You ain’t seen the half of it.

With a snort Dean decided to take his phone and go to his room. He could feel Sam’s eyes watching him and the last thing he wanted was for his little brother to know he was having a semi dirty conversation with his boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Is that was Cas was now? After a handful of dates? He was rusty at this.

Cas: You’re killing me here. I’m sitting in my apartment staring at the washer, willing it to hurry up. I still have three more loads to do.

Dean: Why so much? You’re one guy, or do you secretly have seven dwarves living there with you?

Cas: If I had seven dwarves trust me, they’d be the ones doing the laundry. What I don’t finish tonight I’ll just finish up in the morning. And I’m washing my bedding too. It kind of got messed up last night.

Dean: You didn’t…

Cas: Oh, I did. Shower didn’t help.

Dean: Dude.

Dean: Fuck that’s hot.

Cas: Yeah, well you do things to me that no one has done before. And the end result is my needing to wash my bedding. Now get that smug smile off your face, I can sense it from here.

Dean was just walking into his room and he smiled as he read the text. He closed the door and went to lay down in his bed. He was glad he was wearing sweats today instead of jeans or he would be very uncomfortable at the moment.

Dean: I do things to you? Care to elaborate?

Cas: I’d rather show you, but I’m sticking to not rushing things. I like you too much.

Dean: Good thing you’re not here then.

Cas: Dean….

Dean: What? I’m just chillin. Alone. In my room.

Cas: You can’t just say shit like that to me man. Hold on.

For several minutes Dean did not get anymore messages. He assumed Cas was switching loads, until his phone buzzed again.

Cas: You’re going to make me mess up the clean sheets I just put on my bed today, you know that?

Dean: Why? Because I said I was in my room?

He had sexted before but it had been boring and he hadn’t been able to get off while doing it, but now? His dick was so hard in his pants it actually hurt. 

Cas: Where’s Sam?

Dean: In the kitchen. I left him to wait for the lasagna. It’ll be done in twenty minutes.

Cas: And he won’t walk in on you?

Dean: He knocks. Caught me jacking off once when we were teens and now he won’t dare just barge in. 

Cas: Goddamnit Dean, you’re killing me here.

Dean: So where’s Balthazar?

Cas: Who the hell knows? At his girlfriend’s probably. Or maybe his brother’s. He comes and goes.

Dean: So you’re alone?

Cas: Yes I am. And I’m in my room.

Dean: What are you doing? 

Cas: I think you know.

Dean: And that doesn’t constitute moving too fast?

Cas: Are my hands on you right now? No. They’re on me, specifically on my own dick. I’m so fucking hard thinking about you right now. 

Dean: Damn. Not to kill the mood, but do you do this a lot?

Cas: No, never. But like I said before, you do things to me. 

Dean: Tell me what you’d do to me if I was there.

Cas: Oh, well, knowing you, you’re wearing extra layers of clothing despite the fact that it’s summer, so I’d take off your flannel first, and then whatever tee shirt you’re wearing.

Dean: Awww, you’re missing out, I’m not wearing the extra layers today. Just an AC/DC tee and sweats.

Cas: Fine. So I’d pull your shirt off and I just know those gorgeous freckles don’t stop with your nose and cheeks. I’d have to kiss the ones on your chest, your back, your stomach, and I’d pay special attention to your nipples, licking and biting them til they’re stiff and too sensitive to touch, then I’d blow on them. 

Dean: Damn…

Cas: I’m VERY good with my tongue.

Dean: So I’ve noticed.

Cas: No baby, you haven’t seen anything yet. 

Dean: Fuck. Sam’s knocking. Give me a minute.

Dean heard the knock at his door and begrudgingly got up from the bed. He cracked the door enough to peer out.

“What?” He asked irritably.

“What’s your problem? I was letting you know the lasagna is done and I popped in the garlic bread. It’ll be done in five, and Charlie just arrived. So get your ass out here.” Sam shot back at him. 

“Sorry, ok, I’ll be out in a minute.” Dean said.

“What are you even doing in there?” Sam asked, the look of irritation still on his face.

“Nothing now. Just…take the bread out and I’ll be out in five.”

Sam eyed him for a moment before nodding and heading back towards the kitchen. Dean closed the door and leaned back against it. He still had a raging boner and he now didn’t know what to do about it. His phone buzzed in his hand.

Cas: Everything ok? 

Dean: Yeah. He was telling me dinner’s done, and Charlie’s here. She mooches a lot at dinner time, lol.

Cas: You going out there with a hard on?

Dean: How do you know I’ve got a hard on?

Cas: Cause I have one. You can’t lie and tell me you don’t. 

Dean: How the hell do you manage to do this to me?

Cas: I could ask you the same thing. How much time do you have before Sam comes knocking again?

Dean: Less than five, he’s anal about punctuality.

Cas: Anal, eh?

Dean: Goddamn it Cas!

Cas: So what are you doing right now?

Dean: Leaning against my door and trying to will away my hard on. 

Cas: And how’s that going for you?

Dean: It’s not going away.

Cas: Touch yourself for me. Slowly. You have lube, right?

Dean: Of course I do.

Cas: Get it.

Dean quickly locked his bedroom door before heading to his night stand and fishing in the drawer for the bottle of lube he kept there. He quickly dropped his pants and boxers to the floor before stretching out on the bed, the phone in one hand, the bottle of lube in the other.

Dean: I decided to ditch the pants.

Cas: Fuck

Dean: At some point. ;)

Cas: Now who’s the tease?

Dean: What are you doing right now?

Cas: I’m running my hand slowly up and down my cock. I wish it was you doing it though.

Dean felt his cock throb just at the thought. He laid the bottle of lube down on the bed and swiped his thumb over the head of his own erection, catching the pre-come that was beading there. He let out a soft moan as he imagined what Cas’ mouth would feel like instead of his own hand. The bottle of lube was back in his hand a moment later and he squeezed some into his hand before he started slowly stroking himself. He grabbed the phone he had set aside and shot off a new text.

Dean: Feels so good…I’m so close baby…

Cas: I look forward to the day I take your cock in my mouth and suck you down until you blow your load right down my throat. Do you want that Dean? Cause I do. I’m so fucking close right now. I’m picturing you naked, my tongue in your ass before I shove my cock in. Damn it, the things you do to me Dean…no one’s ever made me feel like this before…

Dean read every word as his own strokes grew faster, his grip more firm. He arched his back as he felt the first real orgasm he’d had in months wash over him. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to scream as he unloaded across his stomach. He collapsed back against the bed panting and trying to catch his breath again.

Dean: That was fucking intense!

He typed that once his head stopped spinning and he was able to breathe normally again.

Cas: I made a mess of my sheets just like I knew I would. It was worth it. ;)

Dean smiled as he grabbed the box of tissues on the night stand and began cleaning himself up. He got dressed again and made his way out to the kitchen, the dopey smile still on his face as he grabbed a plate and joined his brother and Charlie at the table.

“Uh, what’s with the ‘I just got laid’ smile?” Sam said with a small laugh.

“What? I didn’t get laid, obviously. I was just talking to Cas.” Dean ducked his head as he filled his plate full of lasagna and garlic bread.

“Talking to Cas? If I had to wager a guess I’d say you were doing a lot more than talking.” Charlie said. She made no effort to hide her cocky grin as she watched Dean blush bright red as he took his seat next to her.

“Shut up.” Was all he could think to come up with.

“Dude, eww.” Sam grimaced.

“Drop it!” Dean growled but there was no anger behind it. He was still riding the high his orgasm had brought him.

“Did you guys do it yet?” Charlie asked.

Dean glanced at his brother and snorted when he saw the look of discomfort on his face. On Sam it was a look akin to when he was constipated.

“No, we haven’t. We’re waiting.”

“For what? You know it’s going to be mind blowing.” She set her fork down and looked at him expectantly.

“Because he’s used to just sex, not an actual relationship, but he wants that with me, and I-I want that too. I want to be more than just to be a footnote in his long list of sex partners, you know?”

Charlie reached over and wove her fingers through his. “Of course sweetie, I totally get it. You know all I want is for you to be happy, and I can clearly see that he makes you happy. He’s incredibly hot for a guy too. Have you seen all of his tattoos yet?”

“No, I’ve only see parts of the ones on his arms. It’s been strictly clothes on. I did discover that he has his hips pierced. Who does that? Isn’t that an odd place to get them?” He wondered.

“I dated a girl that had a corset piercing once. It took a bit of getting used to, but it was kind of sexy.” Charlie told him.

“A corset piercing? What the hell is that?” Dean looked at Sam who just shrugged. He had no idea either. Charlie let go of his hand and dug her phone out of her pocket. She pulled up an image on Google and handed the phone over to him.

“Oh God! Why?! Why would she have done that?!” Dean held the phone up for Sam to see, noting how his brother paled as he looked at the picture. He pushed the phone away.

“No, just…no.”  
“I held him in my arms, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have anything like that.” Dean handed her back the phone.

“But he has more than just what’s visible?” She asked.

“He eludes to that, yes, but I don’t know where else he could possibly-”

It suddenly dawned on him where else Cas could be pierced.

“Oh….fuck….”

“What?” Sam asked, looking between the two of them. The realization finally hitting him too.

“Oh. Ohhhhh……”

“Wow, that’s…I’ve only known a few guys with that if, in fact, that is what he has. If it’s any consolation I hear nothing but good things.” Charlie was trying to make it sound positive but Dean wasn’t so sure. His mind was reeling as he thought about it. 

“Should I just tell him I’m not interested? I mean if THAT’S what’s pierced…I’m-I just don’t…” His mind was thinking too hard to articulate properly.

“Dean.” Charlie said his name sharply and he looked up at her.

“Yeah?”

“You like him, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

“And he’s all types of sexy, right? Like, his piercings and tattoos, they’re a turn on? From what you’ve seen that is. Right?” She asked.

Dean glanced at Sam who seemed interested in what his answer would be. He couldn’t help feeling embarrassed that his brother was sitting here listening to this.

“Yes, ok? He’s fucking hot.”

“Then why don’t you at least give it a chance? He’s not going to have anything that will hurt you. Piercings…down there are designed to heighten pleasure, not cause pain. Besides, you don’t yet know if he even has one. Who knows where he has other piercings?”

What she said made sense but Dean couldn’t help the feeling of apprehension at the thought of Cas having piercings below the belt. 

“Should I ask him? Is that too personal?”

“That’s pretty personal.” Sam jumped into the conversation. Dean frowned.

“So I’m just supposed to wait til we reach that point, wait for him to take off his pants and look?”

“Is he not telling you where he’s pierced?” Sam asked. “Cause I noticed the eyebrow, his ears and the lip.”

“And his tongue and his hips, and he says there’s more.” Dean told him. Sam’s eyebrows rose and Dean knew he was calculating the odds of where else the man could be pierced that was out of public view. He was calculating the same odds.

“Dean. Relax. Besides, you don’t even know yet if he’s a top, right?” Charlie asked. Dean blushed even harder. His brother did NOT need to know what position he took in the bedroom. Sam noticed and chuckled.

“Dude, I don’t care if you’re a top or a bottom or if you run around in a tutu letting him spank you with a leather paddle as long as I don’t have to physically see it or hear it.”

Dean picked at his lasagna as his mind ran off to dark and dirty places. He knew himself well enough that he couldn’t randomly wait for Cas to one day just drop his pants and reveal some surprise piercing. He liked surprises, but not necessarily THAT kind. He needed to know before they reached that point. 

He hurried to eat the rest of his food and rinsed his plate before excusing himself to go text Cas. When he reached his room he found that he had several texts already waiting.

Cas: Sheets are now in the wash. Good thing the other ones are clean.

Cas: I guess you are eating. I’m hungry. Going to see what Balth left in the fridge.

Cas: Fucker left a jar of pickles and frozen turkey patties. I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow now.

Dean chuckled. Cas was adorable even with his general texts.

Dean: I ate. It was good.

Cas responded faster than he had thought he would.

Cas: Sure, rub it in. Just kidding. I’m thawing the turkey burgers. Fuck! He ate all the bread too! Take out time.

Dean had a spur of the moment thought. Asking Cas through a text about where he had other piercings was kind of shitty. It would be better to ask him in person.

Dean: Do you want me to bring you some lasagna? Or do you want to come over here?

He checked the time. It was a few minutes past six. He’d have to be home and in bed before ten if he went over there but if Cas came here…

His phone buzzed again.

Cas: You’re not sick of me yet?

Dean: No way. Unless you’re sick of me.

Cas: Hell no. You want to come over for a couple hours? Balth won’t bother us. I have no idea when he’ll even be back.

Dean: Let me go wrangle part of the lasagna away from Sam and Charlie before they inhale the whole thing. You like garlic bread?

Cas: You’re too good to me. Yes, I love garlic bread.

Dean: Text me your address, I’ll be there in thirty or less.

Dean hurried back to the kitchen where Charlie and Sam were deep in a discussion about some movie they had both watched. He saw the lasagna on the table and breathed a sigh of relief. Half of it was still there. He cut out a generous portion as his brother and best friend looked on and set it on a clean plate before covering it in saran wrap.

“You’re going over to his place, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. Charlie already knew.

“Yeah, his roommate ate all the food and he’s hungry.” He replied as he wrapped up a piece of garlic bread and slipped everything into one of the thermal bags he used to bring hot foods home from the store.

“Don’t be blunt about it. You don’t want to make him uncomfortable or make him feel unwanted. No one likes to have their feelings hurt or made to feel like they’re a freak.” Charlie warned him as he headed for the door.

“Yeah, I know. I’ll be tactful. I might not even ask him yet. I need to think about that.” He said as he pulled on gym shoes instead of his boots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that made your Saturday night everyone, lol. Leave a comment. Hopefully my awkwardness didn't shine through too much here.
> 
> I'm too damn old to be this awkward about phone sex...


	5. Childhood Trauma and Tattoos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean brings dinner to Cas and they share more about their pasts. Cas reveals his own abuse and the reasons behind his piercings and tattoos. One thing leads to another and they make love for the first time.
> 
> Cas realizing his feelings for Dean go beyond simply liking the man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the smut folks. I'm giving this to you now in hopes that you'll give me a little time to work on the next chapter for How Star Wars Got Me Laid. Plus I'm also working on an ABO. I'm keeping busy!

It turned out Cas didn’t live more than ten minutes away and the drive went quickly. Cas was actually waiting outside his building when he got there. As Dean got out of the car he smiled wide and the smile on Cas’ lips matched his own. Before he could even say hello Cas was kissing him.

“Well hello to you too.” Dean laughed when they finally pulled back.

“I’ve been dying to do that since you offered to come over.” Cas was grinning, his blue eyes lighting up. Dean smiled and held up the bag of food.

“I come bearing dinner.” 

Cas took the bag in one hand and with his free hand he snagged one of Dean’s. He led him into the building and up to the second floor. It wasn’t until they were walking into Cas’ apartment that he noticed the man was barefoot. Dean could see a tattoo on his right foot partially covered by the baggy jeans that were hanging sinfully low on Cas’ hips and dragging on the ground. Cas led him through a surprisingly organized living room and into a small kitchen. He was busy digging into the bag, pulling out the garlic bread and biting into it even as he sought out a fork to eat the lasagna with.

“You weren’t kidding about being hungry.” Dean said as he watched the man devour the bread and dig into the pasta dish while still standing at the counter. Cas smiled sheepishly around a mouthful. 

“I’m starving.” He admitted once he had swallowed. “You saved me from having to get shitty Chinese food from that wannabe place on the corner. It’s not real Chinese food.”

Dean leaned back against the counter to watch Cas eat. When the food was finished he washed the plate and set it aside.

“Thank you so much for that, you really didn’t have to go out of your way to feed me, but I appreciate it.” 

“It’s no problem. It’s usually just Sam and me, but random people are always showing up, so I tend to make extras. Like tonight, Charlie came over.” Dean explained.

“I wasn’t evening thinking, you had company over.” Cas looked worried but Dean shook his head.

“Charlie stopped being company around the third grade when she would just randomly show up and stay for days at a time. She’s as much my sister as Sam is my brother.” Cas seemed to relax a bit at that. He held out a hand and Dean took it.

“Come on, it’s more comfortable in the living room.”

He led Dean out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Dean took everything in as they headed over to the couch. Guitars and autographed pictures of various musicians lined the walls. A large screen television sat against one wall and the couch faced it. On either side were CD stands loaded to overflowing. Music magazines lined the coffee table and the guitar Dean had seen Cas playing Sunday night sat on a stand in the far corner. This was definitely a musician’s apartment.

“Nice place you got here.” He said as he sat down.

“Thanks. I’ve lived here four years now. Balthazar is my second roommate. Even if he eats all the food and makes a ton of messes he’s infinitely easier to live with than my last one. That guy pawned my guitars to feed his heroin addiction. Luckily I got them back, but I kicked his ass to the curb.” Cas said.

“I’ve had my apartment about six years myself. Sammy’s lived with me the entire time but I think he and Jess might be getting serious enough to start looking for their own place soon. I might have Charlie move in, but then my electric bill will shoot way up.” Dean told him.

“She leave the lights on a lot?” Cas asked as he settled down next to him.

“No, she’s a gamer. Spends the majority of her time online when she’s not at work.” Dean replied.

“Ah, gotcha.” Cas folded one leg up under him and Dean noticed the man was wearing a tank top that revealed all of his arms. He had a full view of both sleeve tattoos. Cas caught him staring and motioned towards the one on Dean’s bicep.

“Who’s Mary?” He asked. Unconsciously Dean touched the tattoo.

“My mom. She died when I was four.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” 

“You’re not prying. I don’t mind talking about her.” 

“So, your dad, he didn’t remarry?” Cas asked.

“No, my mom was the only woman for him. When she died…he just kind of distanced himself from everything that reminded him of her, including me and Sammy. I’m a painful reminder since I look so much like her. I don’t see much of my dad nowadays. I grew up mostly with Ellen and Bobby.” Dean explained.

“I’m sorry to hear about your dad, but Ellen seems like a very nice lady. And she doesn’t seem the type to take anyone’s crap either.”

Dean chuckled at that. “She runs a bar, of course she won’t take anyone’s crap. She treats everyone that gets an attitude with her like they’re a temperamental three year old, but don’t let her fool you, she can kick ass better than most guys I know. I’ve seen her toss drunks out on their asses all by herself.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Cas reached out to touch the tattoo on the inside of Dean’s left arm.

“Is this a quote?” 

Dean looked down at his forearm and smiled. “Yes actually, by Michelangelo. I got it when I was in college as a reminder to keep pushing myself, to strive to reach my dreams.”` He held out his arm so Cas could read it.

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but it is too low and we reach it.”

Cas smiled. “I like that actually. Are those your only ones?”

Dean sighed and sat back, stretching his arms out along the back of the couch. He could continue to play the coy game but if he wanted to know about Cas’ other piercings then he needed to be honest as well.

“No. I have a couple more.”

Cas raised an eyebrow but didn’t anything more. Instead he moved closer, nestling in against Dean’s side. He laid his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“I don’t talk to my family because when I was eighteen they forced me to marry a girl from our church. I was too weak to fight them. I was verbally and occasionally physically abused growing up, and I was terrified of my parents. My father is a preacher, a God fearing, bible thumping Christian man that raised us to be God fearing, bible thumping Christians as well. When my mother discovered my ear for music she cultivated it, but mostly so I would perform in church. There were expectations that I was required to meet, like getting straight A’s in school, practicing my instruments every single day, and upholding the image of the church and the family. I come from a large family, there are eight kids. I’m the sixth oldest and around the time I hit puberty I realized I was different. I developed feelings for another boy in church but I knew better than to act on them. I was terrified of my father and what he would do. When I was seventeen he practically arranged my marriage to Rachel. I felt absolutely nothing for the girl. She was nice, but we weren’t even friends and suddenly we were being thrust together in marriage.”

“On our wedding night I told her how I really felt. I thought she’d be upset but she was actually relieved. She had a boyfriend! Some guy her parents didn’t approve of, and she wanted no part of the marriage either. She was as scared as I was. We were both eighteen and the church had gotten us this apartment not far away, and they expected us to start pumping out kids like right away. I was already signed with the orchestra by that point, my first sign of rebellion since my father expected me to be a preacher like him. I refused and instead signed with the orchestra. Rachel and I went down to the courthouse the Monday following the wedding and we secretly annulled the marriage. And we didn’t tell anyone anything. I told Rachel her boyfriend was welcome over any time, and eventually they got engaged. Then she got pregnant.”

Cas was playing with the hem of Dean’s shirt as he spoke, his head lowered so Dean couldn’t see his face. He remained quiet though. This was Cas’ story and he wanted to hear it in full. He brought a hand down to rub slowly across the man’s back, encouraging him to continue.

“So my parents somehow figured out she was pregnant, and they got all excited, started planning a baby shower, even going so far as to dictating what the kid would be named and who it’s godparents would be. They really were THAT controlling. I’m surprised they hadn’t figured out that the kid wasn’t mine, they were like always watching us. Anyway, I was afraid to tell them the truth. I guess I’d spent so many years being brain washed that I didn’t know how to speak up for myself. It went right up until Rachel went into labor. See, she was just as scared of her parents as I was of mine, except she was also scared of my parents. When her son was born everyone knew the kid wasn’t mine.” He dared to look up at Dean then.

“Was her boyfriend of another minority?” Dean asked. Cas nodded.

“Yeah, he was black. When my parents laid eyes on that kid, well, let’s just say the shit really hit the fan.” He snuggled in closer to Dean and wrapped an arm around his waist. Dean understood that he was bearing his soul and needed reassurance. He wrapped his arm around Cas’ shoulders and held him even tighter.

“What happened then?”

He felt Cas shudder and press himself closer.

“My father…took it out on me, said it was my fault that my wife strayed, that I wasn’t the man she needed. I spent six weeks in the hospital after he almost killed me.”

Dean stiffened, his own rage rising up as Cas’ revelation, that someone was sadistic enough to do something that terrible to this beautiful man sitting next to him. Cas was already pressed tightly against his side but Dean wanted him even closer. He lifted the man and pulled him into his lap so that he could wrap both arms around him.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to tell me anything else. I’m glad you’re free of that now though, and that you’re safe. I’d never let anyone hurt you.” Dean continued to rub his boyfriend’s back gently as he waited for the man to stop trembling.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen your dad, Dean?” Cas asked after several long minutes of silence.

“My dad? Not long enough. Maybe two years? He…has a drinking problem. For some reason I exacerbate it, so I tend to make myself scarce if I know he’s around.” 

Cas lifted his head and looked at him. “Dean, did he hurt you as a child?”

Dean couldn’t hold Cas’ gaze. Instead he lowered his gaze to the empty seat next to him.

“It’s ok, I was kind of a punk anyway. I went to live full time with Ellen when I was fifteen and didn’t see my dad much after that.”

Cas grasped Dean’s chin and lifted it, forcing him to meet his gaze.

 

“Dean it is not ok that he hit you, just like it was not ok what my parents did to me. Don’t make excused for his shitty behavior. I didn’t do anything to earn my father’s wrath. He was the one at fault, not me. The same goes for you. It’s not a bad thing that you look like your mother. If anything, you are carrying on her legacy. She must have been beautiful, and I’m betting sweet and caring as well. You should be honored to look like her, and you’re so beautiful Dean, inside and out. Don’t ever let your father or anyone try to put out your light because you shine so brightly. It’s what drew me to you in the first place.”

Cas released his grip on Dean’s chin and brought his hand up to wipe away a stray tear that the man hadn’t even realized had escaped. He leaned in and kissed Dean, slowly. There was no sense of urgency, just a need to be in one another’s arms in that moment.

“I’ll tell you about my tattoos if you want.” Cas said a few minutes later.

“It’s up to you what you want to tell me.” Dean caressed his cheek and Cas sighed as he leaned into it. 

“When I got out of the hospital I was in a wheelchair for two months. My dad broke my back. I suffered through the pain and with a shit ton of physical therapy, I learned to walk again, but as the pain started to fade I felt that I needed a reminder of why I left and cut my family off. They all supported my dad, except Mike. He was appalled and disowned the family before I was even out of the hospital. It was Mike’s idea that I get a tattoo, to sort of commemorate my freedom from our family’s oppression. So I did.”

Cas held his arm out and turned it so Dean could see a cross on his inner wrist.

“I left my family behind, but not my faith. I still believed, I just didn’t believe what my father was teaching anymore. After that, whenever I would start to forget, I’d go get a new tattoo. I designed each and every one, and each one has meaning to me.”

They spent the next hour discussing each tattoo nestled into the sleeves on each of Cas’ arms, and they discussed some of the tattoos that Dean couldn’t see, though Cas wasn’t offering to show them at that moment.

“So I get the tattoos, but why the piercings?” Dean asked. Cas gave a small smile.

“Basically the same reason. The tattoos weren’t enough. I guess I became sort of addicted to the pain, but…I’m done with those. I have all the piercings I want, and I know now that I don’t have to remember the pain I endured living in my parents’ home in order to live a life free from their control. It took years of therapy to figure that one out. I haven’t gotten a new tattoo or piercing in three years.”

“Are you ever going to tell me where your other ones are?” Dean asked. He hoped he wasn’t overstepping the boundaries of their relationship, but after the intensity of the conversation they’d had earlier, he thought he was justified in asking. Cas gave a smirk though it was less mischievous than usual.

“Are you asking out of curiosity or fear? Cause I bet your mind has been working overtime trying to figure out where I could have piercings that you can’t see.”

Dean blushed and averted his eyes. He felt like an ass for even asking. 

“Hey, look at me.” Cas’ words were soft, the teasing tone from before gone now. Dean looked up at him. Cas moved so that he was straddling Dean’s lap and lifted Dean’s hands up. He placed them against his own chest and through the thin material of his shirt Dean could feel the rings that hung from each nipple. Dean’s eyes widened. So he hadn’t been imaging them.

“Really?”

Cas chuckled. “That was one of my first ones, after my eyebrow and tongue.”

Dean ran his thumbs over the rings his eyes darting up to Cas’ face when he heard the man hiss.

“Is that all?”

Cas bit down on his lower lip and for a moment he hesitated before shaking his head.

“No. I have two that sort of go with the tattoo on my back.”

“You only have one tattoo on your back?” Dean asked.

“It’s a big tattoo.” Cas replied.

Dean wanted to see it but he didn’t want to push if Cas wasn’t ready.

“I…have one more, and I get that it might not be something you’re into.”

Dean felt his stomach drop. He hoped his fear wasn’t obvious on his face.

“How would I know unless you tell me?” Charlie was right, he liked Cas. A lot. Might even be falling in love with him. If he let a stupid piercing get in the way of that he was just an asshole. And she’s said they were meant to bring pleasure, not pain. He hoped that meant for him too.

Cas raised an eyebrow as he tried to assess Dean’s reaction so far.

“I remember you saying you only dated girls with their ears pierced, right?”

‘Yeah, no guy I dated had anything other than maybe an ear or two pierced.” Dean replied.

“So this…” Cas motioned towards himself. “Is all new to you?” 

Dean couldn’t help but blush. For some reason he suddenly felt like a virgin. He lowered his gaze to the seat next to him again.

“Pretty much.”

Cas ducked his head to kiss him again. “Dean, I want you to know that I’d never do anything to hurt you. If it means bottoming every time so you feel safe, I’m willing to do that. I just want to be with you. You…make me feel safe, and wanted. I didn’t realize how much I needed that until I met you. Just please tell me it’s not a deal breaker.”

Dean looked up and saw the worry etched on Cas’ face and he knew there was no way he was giving this man up over this.

“Nah, not a deal breaker. Shit Cas, I care too much about you to let you go.”

He was gifted with another of Cas’ bright smiles. God he could look at that forever, it was so dazzling.

“Do you have to leave soon?” Cas asked as he toyed with the edge of Dean’s shirt. Dean took a peek at his phone. It was shortly after nine.

“Kind of? It’s gonna sound stupid but I wanted to be in bed by ten.” 

Cas frowned and nodded. “I understand. I’d be the same way if I had to be in, but tomorrow I’m actually off.”

Dean made a split second decision. If he stayed the night here he could get up a half hour early and go home for a shower and to get dressed.

“Did you-were you-”

Dean took a deep breath and tried again.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Yeah, I do.” Cas replied softly.

That was all Dean needed to hear. He pulled Cas down into a searing kiss, licking along the man’s lower lip until he opened his mouth, and then he kissed him even deeper. With his free hand he pulled Cas against him until there was no space between them.

“Dean, my room, now.” Cas panted between kisses.

“Show me where.” 

Cas stood up and held out a hand. Dean stood up and took it, letting Cas direct him to his bedroom. This apartment was smaller with only two bedrooms but Cas had a nice enough space to call his own. The room was neat with matching furniture, the bed even bigger than what Dean himself had. In the corner by the window sat a cello on its stand. Art Deco posters in black frames lined the walls but Dean didn’t have time to admire them as Cas was pushing him back towards the bed. He fell onto it, pulling Cas down with him.

“Shirt off.” Cas ordered. Dean sat up just enough to pull it off. Cas ran his hand over the tattoo that was directly over Dean’s heart.

“What is this? Is it a pagan symbol?” He asked.

“When my dad’s drinking was at its worst my brother started seeing him as though he were a monster. I had a friend who did tattoos in his basement. I was fifteen, Sam was eleven at the time. I looked in a bunch of books trying to find some kind of protective symbol, something Sammy and I could both get. We settled on this. I got mine first and when Sam turned fifteen my friend gave him the exact same one. It seemed to give Sam the strength he needed to cut dad out of his life completely. He doesn’t talk to him at all now. Me, I just feel closer to my brother. This is something we share, and nothing can break that bond.” Dean explained. Cas smiled.

“I like it, and I understand the meaning behind it.”

Dean grabbed the corners of Cas’ shirt to pull it up but Cas stopped him.

“I’m in shape, that’s not the problem, but I have some scars from what my dad did. I’m just warning you now.” He said. He released Dean’s hand and let him pull the shirt over his head. Dean’s eyes went first to the nipple rings, but only briefly before they were tracing the scar that ran down Cas’ left side. There were a few smaller others that crisscrossed over his stomach, though none as prominent as that one.

“Your dad did this to you?” Cas hesitated before nodding. Dean felt his anger rising again. What the hell kind of person was that man that he could beat his own child within an inch of his life?! He forced himself to calm down. He could see how intensely Cas was watching him. He pulled him down to kiss him.

“I don’t care about scars Cas. I care about you.”

Those must have been the magic words because all of the tension in Cas’ body bled out and he relaxed, running his hands down Dean’s chest, memorizing the feel of his body with his fingertips. The sensation was exquisite for Dean and he moaned softly. 

Cas took his time exploring, just as he’d been dying to do almost from the moment he’d first met Dean, but the main difference now was that he didn’t want to rush it. He wanted to take his time learning every dip, every curve of Dean’s body, he wanted to catalog every sound he made and see which ones he could coax out of him time and again. This man lying beneath him, that trusted him not to hurt him, was the most special person to come into his life since he had left home all those years ago. He was pretty sure he was falling in love, and while the thought crossed his mind that he should be terrified to think that, he only felt calm. 

Dean reacted to every kiss, every nip, every lick, and the noises he made were pure music to Cas’ ears. He pulled off the sweats Dean had worn over and felt his arousal peaked even further by the sight of the man beneath him. The tight boxer briefs Dean wore left little to the imagination but Cas found himself running his fingers down firm thighs and underneath to grip his ass firmly. 

 

“God you’re beautiful.” Cas whispered as he pressed kisses to Dean’s jaw and throat. Dean’s response was to pull him down into another mind blowing kiss.

“Do you trust me Dean?” He asked as he sat back to undo the button on his jeans. Dean quickly nodded.

“Good, the feeling is mutual. I want you to move so I can lay down.” 

When Dean didn’t move he frowned. “Move Dean.”

“No Cas, I-I trust you.”

Cas understood what he was saying and it was his turn to be humbled.

“Yeah? You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Cas quickly disposed of his pants which left both men sitting there in their boxers. He slid his fingers into the waistband of Dean’s and pulled them down. Dean hissed as the cold air hit him but a moment later Cas’ mouth was enveloping him in a tight warmth that had him bucking and crying out. Cas pushed him back down against the mattress as he licked down the length of Dean’s shaft before dragging his tongue back up, using his tongue ring to add just the right amount of pressure. He swirled his tongue around the head, dipping into the slit to capture the pre-come that was beading there before swallowing him down again.

“Gah! St-Stop! I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that!” Dean barely managed to get the words out but Cas heard him. He pulled off with a soft pop and sat back to observe the wreck he had made of his boyfriend. The word had felt so foreign to him in the past but now…now it felt right. Dean was watching him as he hooked his fingers in his own boxers and tugged them down. He had never been self-conscious about his piercings but he knew Dean was nervous. He realized that this was the first person he had ever slept with since getting this one that he actually cared whether they enjoyed it. The first person he found himself worrying that he might cause him pain. That was the last thing he wanted. Dean’s eyes widened as he took in Cas’ cock.

“What-what’s that called?”

“Um, it’s a Prince Albert.” Cas replied, suddenly feeling shy under the intensity of Dean’s stare.

“I wonder if the real Prince Albert knows he has a piercing named after him.” Dean mused. His body relaxed somewhat and he smiled up at Cas.

“Is there even a living royal named Albert?” Cas asked.

“I have no idea.” Dean replied. “But it would be humorous if there was.”

Cas relaxed and grinned. “Yeah, it would be pretty funny.”

Dean’s eyes were back on the head of Cas’ dick and he knew the man was thinking hard. He stroked himself a couple of times, spreading the pre-come that was dripping out before reaching for Dean’s hand.

“You won’t hurt me.” He was still straddling Dean’s hips and the angle was a little off for Dean but he let Cas guide his hand, wrapping it around his shaft and stroking it slowly. Cas’ hand never left his but he let his head loll back and his eyes closed as he let the pleasure take over. This had been what he’d wanted earlier when he’d been texting with Dean, not his own hand. He slowly let his own hand fall away, half expecting Dean’s hand to pull away as well, but it didn’t. Dean’s strokes were a bit hesitant at first but soon he grew bolder, his grip growing firmer, his strokes faster, eliciting moans from the man above him that he was desperate to hear more of. 

“Stop, I’m way too fucking close.” Cas gasped and Dean stilled his hand.

Cas leaned over to reach into the drawer of the table next the bed. Dean could hear him moving stuff around. Something sounded like metal. Handcuffs maybe? The thought sent a thrill through Dean. Then Cas was sitting up straight again, a bottle of lube in one hand, a condom in the other.

“You’re sure about this?” He asked. 

“Yes.” Dean replied firmly.

“Then roll over baby. Your first time…I want it to be as good for you as it is for me.”

He sat up enough to allow Dean to roll over onto his stomach. 

“Another tattoo? Fuck Dean, you’re so perfect.” He kissed the shoulder where a very detailed dreamcatcher had been inked into the man’s skin. Dean shuddered beneath him.

Cas moved so that he was no longer straddling Dean’s legs but was instead kneeling between them. He poured some of the lube on his fingers and slowly began to work Dean open. The moans the man gave were causing Cas to throb almost painfully with need. He had one finger in and added another.

“Fuck…feels so good…never felt this good…” Dean moaned again and Cas leaned over him, leaving a trail of kisses across his shoulders and down his back. He added a third finger which pulled even more delicious noises from his boyfriend. 

“I’m ready Cas, I am.” Dean assured him. Cas slipped his fingers out and grabbed the condom. He was aware of Dean’s eyes on him as he rolled the piece of latex on.  
“It’s all still standard, the condom won’t tear, and there are no sharp parts. Cas smoothed his hands over Dean’s hips mostly to assure the man that this would be good. A part of him still feared that Dean would back out.

“Good, then get inside me already!”

Cas grinned as Dean got on all fours and lifted his ass up further. He moved forward until he was pressed right up against Dean’s entrance. Slowly he pressed in. Each time Dean grunted or tightened he froze, wanting to give the man as much time as he need to adjust. It wasn’t long before his hips were pressed flush against Dean’s ass. Once he felt Dean start to relax he began to move slowly, in and out, picking up speed as Dean began to egg him on, begging for harder, faster, and Cas obliged. 

Cas draped himself over Dean, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist as he fucked up into him at steady pace. He tilted his hips on the next thrust and Dean’s head flew up. He practically screamed and Cas knew he’d hit the man’s sweet spot. Cas made it his mission to hit it on ever subsequent thrust. It was amazing and incredibly intense. He reached down between them and began to stroke Dean, matching the pace of his hand with that of his thrusts until Dean was consistently screaming his name. It was a good thing the apartment walls were thick and his roommate wasn’t home because he liked the way Dean screamed his name, begging him to move faster, to fuck him harder. 

When Dean finally came it was like a dam had been burst. The sensation was the most intense thing he had ever felt in his life. His vision went white and he swore he was seeing stars. Cas followed only a few moment later, shouting Dean’s name as he came. A moment later his legs literally buckled beneath him and they both collapsed to the mattress. He carefully slid out, noting how Dean winced as he did so. 

“You ok?” Cas managed to ask. Dean was face down on the mattress next to him and he turned his head just enough to peek up with one bright green eye.

“Ok is an understatement. That’s the best sex I’ve ever had.” He quickly blushed and buried his face back in the pillow. Cas pulled the condom off and tossed it in the trash. He kept a package of wet wipes in the drawer and he nudged Dean so he’d roll over.

“What?” Dean whined.

“You’re lying in semen Dean. I’m going to have to change my bed sheets again.”

“Sorry. Actually, no I’m not.” Dean turned his head again so that he was smiling up, only one eye peeking out.

“You’re an ass.” Cas laughed.

“Am not, but you were in my ass.”

“Oh my God.” Cas barked out a laugh as he fell back to look up at the ceiling. Dean snagged the wipes from him and wiped up the bed and himself as best he could before shifting closer to curl around Cas. His eyelids were growing heavier by the second and he hummed contentedly when Cas brought a hand up to card softly through his hair. A few minutes later his breathing had slowed and Cas knew he was asleep.

He whispered softly to himself as he drifted off. “What are you doing to me Dean? Fuck, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like that. I did some serious research on that piercing, including looking at pictures (shudder) to make sure I was accurate in my descriptions. And so now Dean knows where all of Cas' piercings are. :)


	6. The Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean spent the night at Cas', and Cas gets called out on his feelings by Balthazar who can read him like a book. They do lunch at Dean's and kick back just to enjoy one another's company, until Sam gets a life changing phone call that will affect both Winchester boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to start writing some more for this story, I've been working on Star Wars and the ABO as I had this one up to 33,000 words, but I'm almost caught up! I like to multitask but this is insane! Lol!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I am officially back to work tomorrow. Paychecks again, yay!

Dean was up with his alarm and he quickly shut it off. Cas grunted next to him but didn’t open his eyes. Instead he wound his arms tighter around his boyfriend.

“Babe, I have to get up, I have work.” Dean placed soft kisses to Cas’ eyelids, his cheeks, his lips, smiling at the pouty expression on his face. When those blue eyes opened though his breath caught in his throat. This here, this he could spend the rest of his life waking up to. That thought absolutely terrified him but it excited him at the same time.

“I know you have to go to work. I just…wish you didn’t.” Cas sighed. Instead of releasing Dean he pulled him closer and kissed his shoulder.

“Do you want to come over later? I’ll make us lunch and we can just chill.” Dean said. Cas smiled.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“I’ll be home around two thirty.”

“I’ll be there.” Cas promised.

After a slow, lazy make out session Cas finally released Dean so he could get up. He used the bathroom and dressed, stopping to kiss Cas one more time before heading out the door. As he stepped into the hall he ran straight into someone.

“Sorry! Sorry!” He quickly apologized as he stumbled backwards. A hand shot out to steady him.

“It’s alright mate, don’t fall now.” 

Dean found himself looking up into a pair of amused blue eyes. Not as blue as Cas’, that was for sure.

“I’m good. You’re Balthazar?” He asked. The man nodded.

I am, and you must be Dean.”

“I am. I’d love to stay and do proper introductions but if I don’t leave now I’m going to be late for work, but…maybe later? It was nice meeting you.” Dean squeezed past him and hurried for the door.

“Definitely. Have a nice day at work.” Balthazar gave a small wave, watching as Dean waved back and left. When he turned around he found Cas standing in the bedroom doorway dressed in a pair of boxers with his arms crossed.

“I see the appeal, he’s attractive.” Balthazar said.

“But?” Cas knew there was something else his friend wanted to say. Balthazar chose to ignore that.

“So you finally slept with him. Does that mean he’s out of your system now? Best to let him down gently.” 

Cas frowned. “I’m not breaking up with him. I…” He sighed and rand a hand through his hair. His friend chuckled.

“Oh. You’re falling in love, aren’t you? Have you ever even been in love before?”

“No, but Dean’s not like anyone I’ve ever met before. Like I’ve said before, he’s special. I want…something more with him.”

Balthazar nodded. Cas had earned himself a reputation as a love ‘em and leave ‘em type, never getting emotionally invested, always keeping his flings brief, but Balthazar bad been his friend long enough to know what he was really like, and what he really wanted. Despite his cool exterior Cas was a softy. He longed for what real couples had: love, a family, a lifetime commitment. He just thought himself too damaged to deserve that. 

“Well I’ll be damned.” Balthazar said softly. Cas had been daydreaming, picturing Dean’s smile, those vibrant green eyes, that incredible body, but the tone of his friend’s voice drew him back to the present.

“What?”

“Cassie dear, you’re not falling in love, you’re already there.” He patted Cas on the arm before heading to his own room. Cas was left standing there wondering when the hell it had happened and how the hell he hadn’t noticed it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean had been glad when he got back to his apartment that morning and Sam had already left for work. His ass was sore and he was walking funny. He didn’t need to deal with his brother’s jokes or looks. He took a quick shower and got dressed before heading over to the school. All day he thought about Cas. He hadn’t been lying last night when he’d said it was the best sex of his life. It was as though up until then he had lived his life in shades of gray, and then suddenly he was experiencing everything in Technicolor, and he had loved every moment of it. He was still impressed with himself for manning up and letting Cas top for their first time together. It was true, he preferred to bottom, but it had taken a lot of trust for him to bottom with a man that had a piercing like that. The entire experience had been intense, but in the best possible way. 

The first class was lethargic for a Tuesday but surprisingly alert, especially when he was so damn chipper. He got the class involved in a discussion about the characters they had met so far in their reading and to his surprise the kids were cooperative. At least in the first three classes they were. He taught six classes each day (it never ceased to amaze him just how many kids failed their first year of English) and by the fourth class the kids were cranky and eager for the day to end. By the last class his stomach was rumbling and he was eager to leave too. 

The drive back to his apartment was too long for his liking but he couldn’t help but smile when he pulled into his usual parking spot and saw the Corvette already parked two spaces up. Cas was leaning against the door to his building looking sinfully good in a tee shirt and tight black jeans. Dean smiled wider as he got out and slung his bag over his shoulder. He’d swapped out the briefcase for a canvas messenger bag exactly for this reason.

“How was work?” Cas asked as he got closer.

“Long but good. First few classes went great, kids participated in the group discussion, but the last few classes it was like pulling teeth to get them to pay attention. It’s too soon in this chapter though to spring a pop quiz, but I was tempted.” Dean replied as he unbuttoned the cuffs on his shirt and untucked it. He leaned in to kiss Cas before motioning for the man to follow him inside.

The apartment was empty. Sam wouldn’t be home for a few hours yet. “Are you hungry?” He asked.

“I did do some grocery shopping after you left. Forced Balthazar to go with me and buy half of it since he eats most of it. I had a pastrami sandwich a few hours ago, but I am hungry now.” Cas took Dean’s bag and set it on the couch as Dean headed down the hall to his room. 

“I just need to change real quick. Give me five.” Dean called out.

Cas sat down on the couch and picked up the Tolstoy book still sitting on the coffee table. He was leafing through the first few pages when Dean reappeared dressed in shorts and a tank top. 

“So what do you want to eat?” He asked.

“Anything you make is fine. If you just want a sandwich that’s ok. You don’t have to go out of your way to cook.” Cas got up and followed him into the kitchen. Dean already had two chicken breasts out and was seasoning them. Almost as an afterthought he grabbed a third one.

“Sammy will come home hungry.” He explained.

“Let me do something to help.” Cas said.

Dean nodded and instructed him on what he would need for the meal, and where it was all located. They worked together to make Cesar salads and they ate in comfortable silence. Sam walked in as they were starting the cleanup.   
.

“Hey Sammy, there’s more for you.” Dean said as he set the dishes in the dishwasher.

“Thanks.” Sam set his briefcase down and took the plate Dean had left for him, piling it high with the rest of the salad.

“I’m surprised you made a salad.” He said as he dug in.

“Yeah, well, I wanted light and that was what came to mind.” Dean shrugged.

Sam’s eyes flickered over to Cas. “Hey Cas.”

“Hi Sam.”

“Ok, so I’ll be in my room with Cas if you need me.” Dean grabbed his boyfriend by the hand and practically dragged him down the hall.

“That was rude.” Cas said once the bedroom door was closed and locked.

“You don’t know Sam. He likes to get in touch with his inner girl on a regular basis and soon he’ll be expecting us to talk about our feelings. I’m not in the mood for his crap.” Dean went over to the bed and collapsed onto it. He moved over and patted the space next to him. Cas grinned and sat down with him. He watched as Dean fished a remote out of the bedside table and turned on the television that sat on his dresser. He liked the idea that they didn’t have to do anything except be with one another, no expectations and nowhere either of them needed to be.

“You have rehearsals tomorrow, right?” Dean asked as he found an old horror flick that was near the beginning and settled on that.

“Yeah. But I don’t have to be there until ten.” Cas slid down a bit and turned onto his side, draping an arm over Dean’s stomach and cuddling up against him. Dean smiled and put an arm around him. As he rubbed the man’s back he felt two small bumps in the center of his upper back.

“What is this?” He asked. 

“Oh, the only piercings you haven’t seen, plus my biggest tattoo.” Cas replied.

“Can I see?” Dean was looking down at him and Cas nodded. He sat up and pulled his shirt off. When he turned so Dean could see his back he smiled at the small gasp the other man gave.

“Cas…that’s gorgeous!” Tentatively Dean reached out to trace his fingers along the edges of the black wings that took up all of Cas’ back and stretched down the backs of each arm to his elbows. From the front Dean hadn’t seen the feather design, but now? Now it was in clear detail, and he was absolutely amazed. Where the inner edge of the wings were the artist had gone so far as to make it look as though they really were coming out of Cas’ back, and at the top curve of each wing was a silver piercing. He touched each one, feeling Cas shudder at the sensation.

“I love that. What made you want wings though?” He dropped his hand and waited for Cas to turn back around. He did, pulling his shirt back over his head. 

“My name. I’m named after an angel. Seemed fitting.” Cas returned to his previous position curled up at Dean’s side.

“Why black though? They’re beautiful, don’t get me wrong, I’m just wondering.”

“I…didn’t feel white was something I was worthy of.” Cas replied quietly.

“Cas, don’t say things like that.” Dean nudged his shoulder but the man only buried his head in deeper against Dean’s chest.

“Cas, look at me.” 

When the man made no move to lift his head Dean grasped his chin gently and raised it for him until he could look at him.

“You’re perfect. I don’t know what kind of sick asshole your dad is, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You could be an angel yourself, you’re so incredible. You don’t ever have to live in that man’s shadow, ok?”

Cas blinked, not realizing that his eyes had filled with water until the tears slipped down his cheeks.

“We’re a real pair, aren’t we?” He asked with a small laugh. Dean smiled.

“Yeah, we are, but I’m glad we found each other.” Dean leaned down and kissed him softly.

“Me too.” Cas sighed, laying his head on Dean’s chest again.

They watched the low budget movie joking and making fun of the characters and the poor cinematography as well as the poorly written script until they were both rolling with laughter. Cas had never had so much fun watching a shitty movie before in his life, but in that moment he the happiest he had ever been. A knock on the door made Dean sigh. He got up and opened the door. Sam looked surprised to see his brother still fully clothed.

“Oh, uh…” Sam’s eyes darted over to the bed where Cas had moved to sit up, his back against the headboard.

“What do you want Sammy?” Dean asked. Sam brought his eyes back to his brother.

“Yeah, right. I just got a call from Ellen. Dad’s back in town.”

“So?” Dean bristled at the mentioning of their father.

“She says he’s sick. Like…really sick.” Sam said.

“How sick is really sick?”

“Stage four liver cancer. It metastasized. Too late for chemo.” Sam replied softly. 

Dean didn’t remember staggering backwards but the next thing he knew Cas had an arm around his waist to steady him and Sam was guiding them both back towards the bed.

“What happened?” Cas asked. He hadn’t been able to hear the conversation between the brothers over the noise of the TV.

“Our dad, he’s dying. He’s come back home to be with family.” Sam explained. Dean was too numb to react. 

“Oh, shit.” Cas said as he sunk down onto the bed next to Dean and put an arm around him. He looked up at Sam.

“How are you taking the news?” He asked. 

“Me? Dad I aren’t close, never were. Dean…he’s the one that actually gave a shit about the guy. As far as I’m concerned Bobby is my dad.” Sam replied honestly. Dean glared up at him.

“You say that as he’s dying? Really?”

Sam glanced at Cas before hanging his head. “I-he…” His shoulders slumped.

“I’m going to go call Ellen back.” 

Sam slipped from the room closing the door quietly behind him. Cas turned his attention back to Dean.

“Baby? Look at me.”

Dean did then, and he could see the concern in Cas’ eyes.

“It’s ok to be upset, he’s your father.” Cas said softly. Dean swallowed hard and nodded.

“It’s just…he never really wanted me around. I tried to be a good son, I really did. I was never good enough though. What am I supposed to do? He came home to be with family. That’s me and Sammy. We can’t drop everything to take care of him. Is that what he’s expecting? I don’t know what to do!”

Cas put an arm around Dean and rubbed his arm gently. Dean settled against him, burying his face in his boyfriend’s neck. He wasn’t crying and Cas wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad one. When he went to get up to use the bathroom Dean grabbed on to him.

“Don’t leave me! Please!”

Cas quickly sat back down next to him. “I’m not, I’m just going to use the bathroom, I’ll be back in a minute, ok?” He waited for Dean to acknowledge his words before he stepped out of the room. He found Sam standing just outside the bedroom as thought waiting.

“I didn’t hear him crying, is he ok?” Sam asked. Cas closed the bedroom door behind himself and stepped further down the hall so Dean wouldn’t hear.

“He’s numb with shock. What the hell did your father do to him? Sometimes he speaks about him as though he’s proud and other times it sounds like your father did terrible things to him. His self-esteem is shot.” Cas crossed his arms and frowned, waiting for Sam to say something.

“Our father is an alcoholic. Has been since our mom died. Dad blamed Dean for her death. He’d woken up, unable to get back to sleep and she was trying to sooth him. She…left a candle burning as she got him a glass of water and got him back to bed. When she went to fetch the candle to blow it out, I’m not exactly sure what happened, and I’m not sure anyone really knows. But what they think happened is that she must have leaned down to blow the candle out and either her hair or her nightgown caught on fire. She dropped it and the carpet caught on fire too. My dad tried to put it out, but it spread too fast. He grabbed me, shoved me in my brother’s arms and made Dean take me outside. Dad was desperate to save mom, but it was way too late at that point. We stayed with Ellen and Bobby for a little while before dad came and got us. He tried for a while to raise us on his own but it was Dean that ended up raising me. He never really had a childhood, he was always taking care of me. Dad worked in an auto shop but he already had a drinking problem and it carried over into his job. He got fired, we lost our apartment, and it started a brutal cycle. The drinking just got worse and when he was really drunk he would beat the ever loving shit out of Dean, accusing him for the fire. When he was sober he couldn’t stand to look at him because Dean looks like mom. I guess it was just too painful for him. He tried to raise a hand to me a few times and I whooped his ass. I passed him up in height by the time I was fifteen, and I kicked his ass for trying to hurt Dean too. But by then we were permanently with Ellen and Bobby and things started to get better, for us at least. But Dean never really recovered emotionally. He believed the crap dad told him, even though none of it was true. It’s part of why I hate the bastard. I saw how he broke my brother, and he doesn’t deserve our sympathy. He can rot for all I care.”

There was venom his Sam’s words but there was pain behind those hazel eyes. Cas was familiar with what he was feeling after having lived with his own malicious parents. Someday he would tell Sam what he had endured at the hands of his own sadistic father. This was not the time though. Now was all about Dean.

“I saw a glimpse of that on our first date. I couldn’t understand how someone as wonderful as Dean is could think so low of themselves. He’s told me some of it, but not all that. I feel better equipped now to take care of him. Are you sure though that you’re alright?” Cas asked. Sam shrugged.

“I’ll be fine. I want to go and stay with Jess, but I don’t want to leave Dean.” 

Cas could see the conflict on his face. “How about this. I’ll run back to my place, grab my clothes and my cello, and I’ll stay here tonight. I’ll get him up and off to work in the morning and you can go see Jess. Dean will be well taken care of, I promise. I couldn’t possibly leave him in this state.” He looked back towards the closed bedroom door and Sam caught the look that crossed the man’s face. What he felt for Dean was clearly more than simple affection.

“You sure? I don’t want to put you out.” He said.

“No, it’s fine. I’m going to pee now, since that’s what I actually came out here to do, and then sit with him until the worst of the shock passes, then I’ll run back to my place.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, of course. I’ll get dinner started in a little while. Hopefully you can get him to eat later.”

“I will try.” Cas told him.

After his brief trip to the bathroom Cas returned to the bedroom. He frowned when he saw Dean lying on the bed curled up in the fetal position with his back to the door. He slid into the bed behind him and wrapped him up in his arms. He expected resistance but Dean seemed instead to relax and melt back against him.

“I’m going to stay the night, ok? You’re not going to be alone.” He whispered softly.

“What about Sam?” Dean turned his head slightly as he asked the question.

“He’s not as impervious as he appears. He’s going to spend the night with Jess.” Cas replied.

“Oh, ok.” Dean stared forward again. Neither had turned the television off but Cas had turned the volume down. They lay for a long time not speaking. There were no words Cas could think to say that would make Dean feel better, and he didn’t want to risk upsetting him further.

After a while Dean rolled over to face him. “You…don’t have to stay, I know you have work tomorrow.”

“And so do you. I’m staying, but I do have to run back to my place and get my clothes and cello, but I’m definitely staying. I don’t want to leave you Dean.” Cas replied. 

The look in those green eyes in that moment should have frightened him but instead it made him feel warm, wanted…loved.

“I’ll go with you.” Dean said.

“Ok, want to go now?”

“Sure.” 

Cas got up first, holding out a hand and pulling Dean to his feet. They made their way out of the room and when they reached the kitchen they found Sam standing at the stove.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked. He walked over to see what his brother was up to.

“Making dinner.” Sam replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“This early?” Dean glanced at the clock on the wall. It was barely four thirty.

“I’m taking my time.” Sam turned his attention to Cas. “Going back to your place now?”

“Yeah, and Dean’s coming with. We won’t be long.” Cas replied. He already had his car keys out. Reluctantly Dean followed him. Cas knew it was taking every ounce of will power the man had to not try to kick Sam out of the kitchen.

“Come on babe, Sam’s got this.” Cas urged. Dean hesitated a moment longer before following after.

“Is it that rare for Sam to cook?” Cas asked once they were in his car. They’d decided to take his car so that Dean wouldn’t lose his parking spot, but also because Dean was dying to actually ride in it. Really he wanted to drive it but he would settle for being a passenger as long as he got to be on the road.

“I’ve always done the cooking. Sam almost burned the house down once when he was a teenager and tried to make a grilled cheese. He makes me nervous.”

Cas chuckled. He already had a sense that in the everyday tasks of life, Dean liked to be in control. The bedroom was another matter. He was still impressed that Dean had so willingly handed control over to him.

“Sam is a grown man, he has to learn to cook at some point. Best to let him learn by trial and error now because Jess won’t want to have to do all the cooking. It’s not fair to her. It’ll be a point of contention in their relationship later if they do get married.” Cas glanced over and saw the pout on Dean’s face. It was different than the one he’d seen earlier. It was grumpy but with the understanding that Cas was making a valid point.

“How about this, you can teach me how to cook, ok? My mother never let me in the kitchen as a kid so everything I learned, it’s all self taught. Hence the reason I’m an expert at microwaving hot dogs and ramen. Fanciest I get is some taco seasoning tossed into ground beef for tacos.” Cas said with a laugh.

“Oh, we’re definitely going to work on your culinary skills.” Dean said, a smile spreading across his face.

The ride to Cas’ place was quick and the apartment was empty as they made their way to the bedroom. Dean watched him as he packed a bag, not saying anything when he noticed that Cas was packing more than just one day’s worth of clothing. It excited him to think that Cas wanted to stay with him for longer than just overnight.

Dean carried the cello out despite Cas’ insistence that he could carry it himself, and settled it into the backseat. It was a quick ride back and Dean refused to leave the cello in the car. He set it in the corner of the living room and took Cas’ bag from him. Cas watched him head for the bedroom.

“Wow, that thing’s pretty big.” Sam nodded towards the instrument that was leaning against the wall by the window.

“I’ve played it so long it doesn’t even phase me anymore. I suppose it is.” Cas said.

“What did you end up cooking Sammy?” Dean asked as he reemerged from the bedroom.

“I decided to try my hand at spaghetti and meatballs. I used your recipe.” Sam replied.

Dean glanced at Cas who raised an eyebrow at him. “I can’t wait to try it.” Dean’s smile was strained, even he knew it, but he was trying. He patted his brother on the shoulder and moved past him to sit on the couch. Cas offered a stunned Sam a smile and a wink before joining Dean.

They talked about Cas’ upcoming tour while Sam returned to the kitchen to finish cooking. Cas made it his mission to distract Dean as he kept glancing back towards the kitchen. He finally ended up climbing into his boyfriend’s lap and straddling him. The look of surprise on Dean’s face was worth it.

“What exactly are you doing?” 

“Keeping your attention on me so you don’t get up to go and hover over Sam.” Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and leaned in to press kisses to his jaw and throat.

“You definitely have my attention.” Dean chuckled as he wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist.

“Good. Now, while I’m on tour I want to talk to you but my schedule will be kind of off. Most of our performances are in the evenings, but I can get on Skype before and afterwards.” Cas couldn’t quite bring himself to say just how much he was going to miss Dean. 

“Just text me, we’ll make it work.” Dean told him. “Even if it’s late, I don’t care. I’ll drink fucking espresso before I head into work if I have to.”

“I was thinking about something too.” Cas said.

“What’s that?”

“Well, your summer school class ends two weeks before my tour ends. I was wondering if you wanted to come out and maybe be with me?”

Dean could sense how nervous the man was asking that.

“You want me to come on your tour? Will they even allow that?”

“Several of my fellow musicians travel with their spouses, or their spouses meet them once we get there. I was thinking it would be nice to have you there with me than to only get to see you on Skype. That’s…if you want to. You don’t have to.” Cas expected Dean to say no. It was too soon in their relationship and with his father sick and no real time stamp on the time he had left, it was a lot to ask of the man. 

“Ok.”

Cas wasn’t sure he heard him right. “What?”

“Ok. The day school ends I’ll drive out to whatever city you’re in and meet you.” Dean said. Cas smiled so wide it made his entire face hurt.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’ll definitely be better holding you in my arms every night than it will be to just Skype.” 

Cas smiled and kissed the corner of his mouth. 

“I’m going to miss you every moment until then though.” Dean told him. Cas’ smile grew wider.

“It’s going to be torture.”

“Guys, really? I’m still here.” Sam walked in with two plates of food and a frown on his face.

“Hey, I’m doing you a favor man. Dean wanted to get up and harass you in the kitchen. I kept him in here.” Cas said, a smug smile on his lips now.

Sam laughed and handed each of them a plate. “Well I hope I live up to your trust in my cooking.”

They took the plates offered to them and Cas climbed off Dean’s lap to sit next to him. Without hesitation he dug into his food.

“Hey, it’s good.” He gave Sam a thumbs up. Dean cut a meatball in half and popped it in his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment before nodding. It actually was good, and damn close to his recipe. 

“Yeah, it’s good Sammy.” Sam had been holding his breath and he released it in the form of a nervous laugh. 

“Thanks man.” He returned to the kitchen to grab his own plate, taking the seat across from them. They ate in relative silence until the food was gone. Dean collected the plates and took them all to the kitchen.

“So, how long you gonna be gone?” Sam asked Cas.

“Six weeks. It’s an east coast tour. We get a break for a month and then we tour the Midwest.” Cas replied.

“That has to be hard, all that traveling.”

“It is. Especially now.” Cas glanced towards the kitchen where they could see Dean at the sink humming as he washed the dishes. 

“You ever think of doing something else?” Sam asked.

“I have my band but it’s not popular outside the city. But even if it was, it would still mean traveling.” Cas replied.

“You don’t like traveling?” Sam asked.

“No, I do, but traveling as much as I do now, I’m tired of it.” Cas admitted. “I’ve been doing it since I was seventeen. It’s exhausting.”

“So do something else. Have you ever thought about teaching? You could teach other kids to play instruments.” 

Cas ran his tongue over his lip ring as he considered that. Teaching others to play had always been an interest of his, plus he wouldn’t have to cover up and pretend to be something he wasn’t.

“Maybe. I think I’m too old for college though.” 

“You’re what, twenty five? There were students as old as sixty when I was in school. Go for it, don’t let your age hold you back.” Sam said.

“Thank you for the compliment, but I’m thirty one. You really don’t think I’m too old?” Cas asked.

“Not at all. Do you have any credits at all?” Sam asked.

Cas shook his head. “Uh, no. I didn’t go to college, I joined the orchestra straight out of high school.”

“You should do it. Go back, get your degree, do what you really want.” Sam got up, patting his arm as he passed him.

“I’m grabbing my stuff and heading over to Jess’. You need to call Ellen, she wants you to call her.” He called out to his brother. Dean tensed, giving a short nod before returning to the dishes, the humming forgotten.

When Dean finished the dishes he rejoined Cas in the living room. Sam had already left and the apartment was much too quiet. Dean had his cell phone in his hand, turning it over and over as he sat down. He pressed close to Cas, resting his head on the man’s chest as he pulled up Ellen’s number and dialed it. She answered almost immediately.

“Dean?” Ellen’s voice sounded worried.

“Yeah, hi.” He replied.

“Honey, are you alright? I’m guessing Sam told you what’s happening.”

“He did. Why didn’t you call me though? You know how Sam feels about dad.” He complained.

“I know sweetie, that’s why I called him. I couldn’t leave here and I wanted someone to tell you in person, so I asked Sam to break the news to you as gently as possible. I hope he did that.” She said.

“He did.” He admitted.

“I hope he’s there and not leaving you alone.” 

“No, he went to Jess’.” Dean sighed.

“He left you alone? That little shit! I’m going to box that boy’s ears, I swear I am!” She was grumbling more to herself than to Dean but it still amused him.

“I’m not alone El, Cas is here with me. He’s staying the night.” 

“Cas? As in blue eyes? The handsome fella you went out with a few weeks back?” 

“Yes. We’re dating.” He glanced up at Cas who smiled warmly at him.

“Oh, well tell him I said thank you. I was going to make Joanna Beth work tonight so I could go over and sit with you. You doing alright though? I know this is hard.”

“I’m…coping. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. Where…is he?”

“He’s in hospice honey. At a care facility not far from here. He only has a few months left.” She said softly.

“Why didn’t he call and tell me this himself?” Dean’s voice was raw, his pain obvious. Cas wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head.

“He wanted to, but he was afraid you’d ignore his calls.” She replied.

“I would have. He spent so many years treating me like shit. He only ever calls now if he needs something.”

“The only thing he needs now is you sweetie. Do you think you can go see him?”

Dean knew Cas could hear what Ellen was saying. He looked up and saw those blue eyes watching him. Cas smiled and nodded softly.

“You’re better than anything he ever said about you. Be the bigger man and go see him.” He whispered. 

“Yeah, I’ll go. I can stop by maybe tomorrow. I can’t speak for Sam though.” Dean finally told her.

“I know doll. I’ll text the address and phone number.”

When they hung up Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist and clung to him.

“If Sam doesn’t want to go with, do you want me to come?” Cas asked.

“You’d do that?” Dean sat back and looked up in surprise.

“Too soon to meet the family?” Cas teased. Dean smiled.

“No, not at all. Besides, you’ve met two of the most important people in my life. No, scratch that, three. I forgot about Charlie. Don’t tell her I forgot her.”

“I would never.” Cas made the sign of the cross over his heart and grinned at him.

“So if I go tomorrow after work…”

“I’ll drive you. Sam can meet us there.” Cas offered.

“Yeah, that should work.”

They watched some television, careful to keep the conversation off of John Winchester. As the sun began to set Dean got up to fetch his messenger bag. Someone had moved it to his room and he brought it back to the living room. He curled up next to Ca again and pulled out papers that needed to be graded. For a while Cas watched him in silence, the wheel in his own brain turning as he considered what his life would be like to actually do something HE wanted to do for once.

“Sam says I should go to college, get a degree.” 

Dean paused in reading an essay to look up at him. “Is that what you want?”

“I’m thinking about it.”

“What do you want to study?” Dean asked.

“Music mostly. But…Sam suggested I should teach it. I like that idea.”

“As in a school setting? A lot of schools are cutting music from the curriculum.” Dean said.

“I’m aware of that. But I could teach in a college setting, right? Music appreciation? I was also thinking of giving lessons. I’ve been doing this most of my life. I play like eight different instruments. I could definitely give private lessons.”

“No doubt, and you’d be responsible for the next generation of Chopin’s and Kenny G’s.” Dean said grinning.

“I don’t play the sax, Dean.”

“Not the point. If this is really what you want to do, then do it. I can help you with enrollment, grants, scholarships, all of that stuff if you want.” Dean offered.

“I’d like that, cause honestly, I have no idea where to even start.” Cas sighed. He really didn’t know what he was supposed to do except look into local colleges and see what they offered.

“Charlie works for the Dean of Admissions at KU. I’ll talk to her and get the necessary information.” Dean set the papers he was grading aside and sat completely up.

“What about the orchestra? I thought you loved playing cello.”

“I do, but the traveling and never really being home, it’s taking its toll. I’ve been doing it so long now and I’m tired. I want…” He bit down on his lip and stared off into the kitchen.

“You want what Cas?” Dean wanted to know what he’d been about to say.

“I want a regular life. Right now I see my own bed for a total of about twelve weeks every year. I sleep in hotels, alone, with nothing to really call my own. It’s lonely, and here I am, about to leave again. I someday want to own a house, maybe get a dog, be able to invite friends over for barbecues in the summer and not spend Christmas in some far off state playing for stuffy politicians, but instead spend them at home with the people I care most about. I want the two point five kids, the freaking white picket fence, lazy Sunday afternoons watching football, but…” He bit down again on his lip. The last thing he wanted was to scare Dean away. Dean was not yet privy to Cas’ more sensitive side, or at least he didn’t think the man was.

“But you don’t want to be alone to do that.” Dean finished the sentence for him.

“It’s more than that though. I want…” He sighed and decided to just bite the bullet. “I want that with you.”   
Those blue eyes were back on Dean’s face, studying it closely, and Dean could see the fear in them.

“Really?” He asked. Cas nodded. “Yeah.”

Dean leaned up and kissed him. It was soft, a simple meeting of their lips as he tried to convey how happy it made him to hear Cas saying that.

“I want that too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a difficult time for Dean. Cas can stick it out and see where it goes or he can walk. Course you all know me well enough to know he'll stay. He's too damn smitten. I hope you liked the chapter. There will be more soon.


	7. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas accompanies Dean to visit his father. Things do not go like Dean thought they would.
> 
> Confessions continue once they leave John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rather intense chapter, and there will be a few more intense ones.

Cas hadn’t realized how tense he was until he heard Dean say those four little words. He relaxed and let out the breath he’d been holding.

“I really don’t want to leave for this tour.” He said with a sigh.

“I know, but we’ll still talk every night, and I’ll meet you as soon as school is over. I’ll drive all night if I have to, but I’ll get there. And when we get back I’ll have all of the materials ready and waiting for the colleges. Is music all you want to study?” Dean asked.

“I like history too. I wouldn’t mind teaching that either.” Cas replied.

“I’ll see what programs are available. Depending on what you want to do, I bet we could get you into classes as early as this fall.”

Cas couldn’t help the excitement he felt. He loved children probably as much as Dean did, and the idea of teaching kids how to play the instruments he had learned as a boy, but in a much more positive way than he’d been taught, it brought joy to his heart. Dean got up and left the room, returning a minute later with his laptop. He handed it to Cas.

“Look through KU’s courses, see if anything catches your eye.” He settled back on the couch with the essays and went back to grading them as Cas perused the curriculum for the university. Cas tried not to interrupt him but Dean didn’t mind stopping to answer any questions he had.

It took the better part of two hours to finish grading the papers and when he was done Dean gladly shoved them back in his bag. He stretched and looked up at Cas who was engrossed in an article about the music department at a local college.

“See anything you like?” He asked.

Cas turned to look at him, a wicked smirk on his lips. “Damn right I do, but it’s not on this computer. Dean smiled wide as Cas turned the computer off and closed it up. 

“Come her sexy.” Cas growled as he pulled Dean into his lap. Though Dean was taller and clearly outweighed the man, Cas was surprisingly strong. It took very little maneuvering before he had Dean straddling his legs.

“I want you.” Cas murmured as he nuzzled against Dean’s neck. 

“Yeah? How much?” Dean rotated his hips just enough to make the man under him groan. Cas was already hard, he could feel it.

“So bad…” Cas bit down lightly on his collarbone making Dean gasp.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom.” Dean got to his feet and pulled Cas up with him.

The trip to the bedroom took longer than necessary as they kept stopping every few feet to share stolen kisses and touch one another, as though losing contact would be the end of the world. 

By the time they reached the bedroom they were both naked, all clothing being discarded along the way. Dean was still a bit tender but he didn’t care, he wanted Cas inside him, and he wanted it right then.

“I want you to fuck me Cas, please.” Cas had him pressed up against the wall, one leg held up as Cas gripped his ass firmly.

“You’re not sore?” Cas asked as he sucked marks into the freckled skin on his lover’s chest. 

“Not enough for me to not want this. I need you Cas, please.” Dean moaned as Cas worried his nipple between his teeth, hardening it before licking slowly around it. Dean cried out from the overstimulation and thrust his hips forward. 

“Come on.” Cas let Dean put his leg down and then took him by the hand to lead him to the bed. Once there he turned Dean so that his back was to the bed and pushed him down. Dean hurried to scoot up and lay his head on the pillows. He held out his arms and Cas went to him, wrapping the man in his arms and kissing him as though his life depended on it.

“Dean…” That one word held so much meaning. Dean heard what Cas was trying to say, and he pulled the man closer. He needed Cas like he needed oxygen.

“Please baby, I need you.” Dean begged. He grabbed Cas’ ass and pulled him down against him.

“Ok, I’ve got you.” Cas sat back on his haunches and looked down at him.

“I didn’t bring anything with me.”

“I just bought condoms. In my dresser, top right drawer. I have the lube here though.” Dean reached for the lube while Cas grabbed the condoms. Once he had them he returned to the bed. Dean sat up to kiss him as he pressed the bottle of lube into Cas’ hand.

“I’m going slower this time, ok? I don’t want to hurt you.” Cas whispered the words against Dean’s skin as he kissed him. 

“-K.” Was all that slipped from Dean’s lips. He just needed Cas inside him.

Dean was sore and a bit swollen so Cas took his time opening him up but it didn’t take him long to get Dean screaming and begging for his cock. He pulled his fingers out and put a condom on.

“I want to see you.” Dean said softly. Cas smiled and nodded. Dean spread his legs and held his arms out to him. Cas lined himself up and just as he’d done the night before, he moved slow, pausing at even the slightest sign that he was causing Dean any pain. It took longer than the prepping had before he was completely enveloped in the warmth of his lover, but once he was, Dean relaxed. 

“Move baby, please.” The tender way Dean spoke spurred him into action and slowly Cas began to move his hips.

“So good baby, so tight. I don’t want to hurt you.” Cas pressed soft kisses to Dean’s lips as he continued to move, keeping his pace slow and steady.

“I’m ok, it’s ok.” Dean’s breathing was speeding up, a soft moan escaping his lips every now and then. His hands grasped at Cas’ back, pulling him down against him until there was nothing between them, just skin on skin.

“Please Cas, faster…” 

Cas increased the speed of his thrusts until Dean was moaning loudly under him.

“Oh God, I’m close.” Cas gasped. He sat back enough so that he could slip a hand between then and stroke Dean’s neglected cock.

“Fuck!” Dean’s entire body tensed up as his orgasm hit. He gasped as it washed over him and collapsed back against the mattress. Cas’ hips began to stutter and he cried out as his own orgasm washed over him. 

“Are you ok?” He asked as he pulled out. Dean winced but nodded.

“I’m fine. Better than fine actually.” He smiled and leaned up to press a kiss to the corner of Cas’ mouth.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Cas got up, pulling the condom off and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a wet washcloth to find Dean had dozed off. He smiled and shook his head as he began wiping the mess off the man’s chest. Dean’s eyes opened and he gave a lazy smile.

“Thanks.” Dean stretched, moaning at the ache between his legs. It was a good feeling.

“Come here.” He held out his arms and Cas let himself be pulled back down onto the mattress. He curled himself around Dean and the man snuggled closer.

“I’m going to steal your mattress Dean, it’s so comfortable.” Cas sighed.

“Memory foam. Doesn’t get much more comfortable than this.” 

“It’s better cause I’m with you. Wouldn’t be the same without you.” Cas kissed Dean’s forehead as the man slipped into unconsciousness. Without doubt Balthazar was right. He was in love with Dean Winchester.

When the alarm went off the next morning Cas rose first. He headed to the kitchen and started one of the few meals he knew how to make: omelets. Dean had headed to the bathroom for a shower and when he emerged dripping wet and dressed in nothing but a towel it took every ounce of willpower for Cas not to jump him. Dean followed his nose to the kitchen, smiling when his boyfriend set a plate down in front of him full of fluffy egg and cheese.

“I thought you couldn’t cook.” Dean said as he picked up the fork he’d been given and dug in.

“I have mastered maybe three dishes of which omelets are one of them.” Cas sat down with his own plate and started eating.

“What are the other two?”

“Well, if you accept my use of taco seasoning, then tacos. And I can make a whole chicken in a crock pot.” Cas replied.

“A crock pot, really?”

“Don’t knock the crock.” Cas pointed his fork at him with a mock glare.

“I would never. I own two crock pots myself.” Dean pointed at the cabinet in the corner.

“I keep them there. I make a lot of stuff in them, but I’ve never made a whole chicken in one. I’ll have to try that sometime.”

“They’re a life saver. I’ll put the chicken on in the morning before I leave for rehearsals and when I come home it’s usually already half eaten by Balthazar.” Cas laughed.

“He sounds like a real piece of work.” Dean chuckled around a mouthful of eggs.

“He is, but he’s been my best friend for the last ten years. He’s put up with a lot of shit from me and he’s still here, so I’ll put up with him eating all the food.” Cas finished his plate and once Dean’s was done he took his plate too.

“Go get dressed. I have coffee in a thermos for you to take to work too.”

“Coffee?” Dean asked, surprised. Cas smiled and nodded.

Dean returned the smile and made his way to his room to get dressed. When he came back Cas was setting the thermos and a plastic container on the island.

“You keep your fridge stocked, so I packed you a snack too.” 

“Damn babe, thank you. No one’s ever done that for me before.” Dean kissed him as he slipped the container into his messenger bag.

“Did you pack something for you too?” 

“No, I don’t want to take your food.” Cas replied.

“Nonsense. Pack yourself something. There’s bread, lunchmeat, cheese, just make yourself something so I don’t have to worry about you today.”

Cas slipped his arms around his waist and kissed him. “If you insist. Go, have a good day. Rehearsals will be shorter today so I should get back here probably right about the same time you do. We can go to lunch and then go see your dad, ok?”

Dean tensed in his arms but nodded. He wasn’t looking forward to visiting his father later, but at least he wasn’t going in alone.

“It’ll be ok baby. I’ll be there with you the whole time, unless you want me not to be. Ok?”

“No, I want you there with me. I don’t want to be alone with the man.” Dean clung just a little tighter.

“Go on, go impart some wisdom on your students. I’ll see you later.” 

“Just turn the lock when you leave, ok?” Dean said as he went to the door.

“I will. I’m just going to take a quick shower and then get dressed.”

Cas kissed him at the door and watched him leave before heading off to take his own shower. As he was getting dressed he heard Dean’s phone ringing in the bedroom.

“Shit.” He muttered. Dean needed his phone in case anything happened to his father. It was just after eight so he decided he would drop the phone off at the school on his way to rehearsals. 

The drive was brief and he found the Impala easy enough. The school was unlocked so he went in. Staff was at the bare minimum so there wasn’t anyone in the halls to give him directions. A sound to his right caught his attention and he spotted a couple of girls coming out of the bathroom.

“Hey, girls!” He jogged over to them and they looked up, startled.

“Yes?” A girl with long blonde hair asked.

“I’m looking for Mr. Winchester’s room, do you know where that is?”

“Uh, upstairs, room 218.” A girl with stringy brown hair replied. Cas flashed them a smile and they all giggled.

“Thanks girls.” 

He went upstairs and followed the room numbers until he found 218. Even before he reached the room he could hear Dean’s voice emanating from inside. He was discussing pros and how Shakespeare used them. He felt oddly proud listening to his boyfriend as he taught all of the ripe young minds in front of him. The door was closed so he knocked.

“Come in.” Dean called out. Cas debated knocking again to make Dean come to the door but thought better of it. Instead he opened the door and poked his head in.

“Cas?” Dean asked, unable to hide his surprise.

“Sorry, you, uh, forgot this, and it rang.” Cas held out the phone.

“Oh, thanks.” He took the phone, frowning when he saw the number that had called.

“Ellen called. I’ll call her back later. Thank you for bringing it.” 

“No problem. I’ll see you later.” Cas told him. Dean smiled warmly at him.

“Yeah, see you later.” 

Cas closed the door leaving Dean facing a class that was all looking at him with various expressions of amusement and curiosity.

“Who was that Mr. Winchester?” One particularly bold young man asked.

“Yeah, he’s hot.” A girl piped up.

“He is none of your business. Now, where did we leave off?”

The day was long and as soon as the last class left Dean pulled his phone out. He dialed Ellen’s number as he walked out to the car.

“Dean, honey, how are you?” She asked as soon as she picked up.

“I’m ok. Why did you call and not leave a message this morning?”

“I didn’t call you. I bet that was Jo. She’s worried about you. I think she was trying to catch you before you left for work.” Ellen replied.

“I forgot my phone at home, Cas brought it to me but I didn’t have a break to call back. Is…dad ok? I’m on my way to see him in a bit.”

Ellen sighed heavily. “He’s ornery as always, but he looks good and he’s not in too much pain. Don’t be surprised when you see him. He looks healthy, but he’s not. It was already stage four by the time he was diagnosed and he declined chemo, so he’s still a healthy weight and he still has all his hair. Don’t let his looks fool you though.”

 

“Thanks for the heads up.” He pulled into his parking spot in front of his building. Cas was already there waiting.

“I couldn’t reach Sam today. Is he going with you?” She asked.

“I didn’t talk to Sam today. I’ll text him and find out, but Cas is going with me. I…can’t do this alone.”

He was already out of the car and walking towards Cas who was smiling. They shared a kiss and headed into the building.

“I’m glad he could be there for you. I hope Sam comes around.” She said.

“Me too. I’m going to go now, I need to change. I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Yes we will. Love you sweetie.” She blew him a kiss over the phone that made him laugh.

“Love you too El. Catch you later.” He hung up the phone and shoved it in his pants pocket.

“How was work?” Cas asked as Dean headed to his room to change. Cas followed and Dean realized he had his bag with him. He changed as well.

“It was good. Had a good discussion with most of my classes and tasked them with creating their own pros. That should be interesting!” Dean said, smiling.

“I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds today by bringing your phone to you. I just thought…with your dad so sick….” 

“Baby, it’s ok. I’m glad you did bring it. I’d hate for someone to have to show up at the school to tell me something happened to him because I forgot my phone at home.” Dean pulled Cas into his arms and kissed him.

“Is Sam coming?” Cas asked as they started for the door.

“I honestly don’t know. He’s been avoiding my texts, and he headed straight to work from Jess’. He may or may not show later.” 

They made their way down to the Impala and got in. The drive was tense and Cas noticed Dean’s knuckles were white, his grip was so tight on the steering wheel. He said nothing about it though. Dean needed to pay attention to the road and not on him. When they reached the address Ellen had provided Dean frowned. 

“This-This is a nursing home Cas.” Dean said as he pulled into the parking lot.

“Park under that tree so the car stays cool.” Cas pointed to an empty spot in the corner. Truthfully, most of the lot was empty, but he pulled into the shaded spot and parked. They got out of the car and Cas took his hand as they started for the main door.

“They put him in a nursing home?” Dean frowned when they reached the front desk and were confronted with a sign in sheet. Cas took it and signed them both in.

“It’s more than just a nursing home, and it looks like a lovely place. We’ll make sure they’re taking good care of your dad.” He said softly. Dean grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

“Thank you. I don’t think I could have done this alone.”

“And you shouldn’t have to. I’m here for you.” Cas squeezed his hand back and they started down the hall. So far they hadn’t seen any staff but as they approached a nursing station at the center of the building they saw people bustling about.

“Excuse me, we’re looking for John Winchester’s room.” Cas told the lady sitting in front of a computer.

“Sure, hold on, let me get that info for you.”

She tapped away on her keyboard while they both looked around. It was clean and off to the left they could see what looked like a rec room, and it was filled with people.

“Here it is. Room 212, right down that hall, on the left.” She pointed to the hall directly across from where she sat. 

“Thank you.” Dean told her. She offered a sympathetic smile. Apparently that was the end of life wing and she knew why John was there.

Cas tugged on Dean’s hand to get him moving and they made their way down the hall. The door to room 212 stood open and for just a moment Dean found it impossible to cross the threshold and enter.

“Come on, you can do this. You’re better than any negative thing he ever said or did.” Cas pressed a kiss to Dean’s jaw and squeezed his hand again. Dean nodded and stepped into the room.

It was sunny, more cheerful than either man had expected, and the windowsill was lined with vases full of flowers, the product of Ellen and Jo, no doubt. The curtain was half pulled so Dean couldn’t yet see the figure in the bed. He released Cas’ hand and stepped around the curtain.

John Winchester was propped up in the bed, reading glasses set low on the bridge of his nose as he read the newspaper. He looked up as he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, the shock on his face apparent.

“Uh, hi dad.” Dean greeted the man. John set the newspaper down and took off his glasses.

“Hello son, how have you been?”

“Good.” Dean replied.

“Did your brother come with you?” John asked.

“No, he’s still at work. I just got off work, came here after I stopped at home to change.” Dean felt stupid making this kind of small talk but he no longer knew how to talk to his father.

“It’s summer, you teaching summer school?”

“Yes sir, freshman English.” Dean replied.

“Good, that’s good. I know you’re a good teacher, they’ll learn a lot from you.” 

“Thank you. They’re all doing very well at the moment.” 

Dean fidgeted for a moment and glanced back towards the curtain.

“You have someone here with you?” John asked.

“Uh, yeah. Cas, my boyfriend.” 

John was stone faced but he made no comment about it. Instead he motioned towards the curtain.

“Well don’t leave him standing over there. Introduce the man.”

Dean leaned around the corner to find Cas sitting at a small table by the bathroom. He beckoned him over. As the man approached Dean reached out to take his hand and bring him around the curtain.

“Dad, this is my boyfriend Cas. Cas, this is my dad, John.” Dean introduced. In true Cas form the man put on his most sincere smile and offered John a hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Winchester.” 

John shook his hand as he looked the man over.

“Call me John. It’s nice to finally meet someone my son dates. You two been dating long?”

“A couple of weeks now.” Cas replied. Dean wasn’t sure whether he was annoyed or happy with the fact that Cas had dressed rather conservatively for this meeting with his father. Rather than his usual tight jeans and body hugging tee shirts Cas had dressed much more conservatively in loose jeans and a button down shirt the same color as his eyes. The shirt was untucked but buttoned all the way up. Even the buttons on the sleeves were fastened. He’d made an attempt to brush his hair so the piercings in his ears were mostly covered. Only the one in his lip was really obvious. All the tattoos were covered.

John’s eyes were back on his son. “You two are happy then?”

“Yes sir, very happy.”

John nodded, a small smile on his lips.

“Good, I’m glad. You deserve to be happy. You and your brother both. I understand he’s still dating that girl Jess. I haven’t met her but Ellen raves about her. She mentioned Cas here too.”

Cas’ eyebrow rose in surprise at that.

“Don’t worry, she said nothing but good things.” John chuckled. Like that the tension in the room eased.

“That’s good to know.” Cas smiled.

“She says you’re a musician, and a darn good one too. And that you have your own band.”

“I do. Into the Abyss. I’m on vocals and bass.” Cas said.

“I’m impressed. She says you play other instruments too.”

“I do. I play several. I play the cello in the Bass City Orchestra.”

John’s own eyebrows raised at hearing that.

“Well, color me impressed.”

Dean grinned and Cas smiled too.

“So how’d you two meet?” John asked.

Dean recounted the festival and how they met, and what they had done together since then. John listened with an amused expression, smiling when his son mentioned Cas was going back to school.

“Good for you son. An education is important. I’m glad neither of my boys took after my lazy ass and that they both got their degrees.” John looked then at his son.

“I know I don’t say it enough Dean, and I probably have no right to even say it at all, but I am proud of you. You’ve grown into a fine man, and I know you’re a good teacher.”

Dean tried to swallow around the lump in his throat but couldn’t. He nodded and as his eyes filled with tears Cas pulled him close, running a hand gently up and down his back until he had his emotions under control again.

“How long you boys staying?” 

When Dean looked at his dad he noticed his eyes were red rimmed as well.

“We can stay as long as you like.” Cas told him. At that John smiled.

“How about a game of cards then?”

John directed Cas to the night stand where he had a deck of cards and the three men settled in to play some poker. Cas soon learned that both Dean and his father were experts at the game and after losing three consecutive games he bowed out. Dean just grinned at him and continued playing.

“I’m going to go and get us some coffee. Did you want some John?” Cas asked as he stood up.

“No, I’ll never sleep tonight if I drink it. But thank you.” John replied. Cas nodded and left the room.

“He’s nice.” John said once Cas was out of earshot.

“Yeah, he’s a great guy.” Dean agreed.

“Two weeks, huh? Pretty quick to fall in love, but then again I think I knew I loved your mom the moment I first laid eyes on her.” 

Dean lifted his eyes from the cards to study his father’s face. Was the man mocking him?

“You…knew that fast with mom?”

“Yes I did. Took quite a while to get her to even go out with me, but once she did, I knew I was a gonner. And I knew pretty quick that she loved me too. That boy there? He’s in love with you. I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. Don’t let that go son. It’s rare you find it even once in your lifetime.” 

Dean lowered his eyes to his cards once more as he considered his father’s words.

“You really think he does?”

“Boy, I know I didn’t raise no idiots. Of course he does. I bet he’s even finding it hard to be away from you.” John chuckled.

“He invited me along for the last couple weeks of his tour. I can’t go for the whole thing because of work, but I said I’d drive up and join him. Unless you want me to stay.” Dean looked up at his father again. He’d plum forgotten about John being in here when he’d agreed to go with Cas.

“I want you to be happy Dean, and if that man makes you happy, then I will die happy. So go on his tour, spend all the time you can so you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with him or not. I have to say though, you have good taste, and if I had to choose a son in law, he’s a damn good choice. I remember some of the people you dated in the past and no one ever made your eyes light up like he does. They were never good enough for you, but Cas is. Hang on to that one.”

John reached over and placed a hand over Dean’s where it laid on the bed. He squeezed gently.

“I also want to apologize for being a despicable excuse for a father. You didn’t deserve the things I said and did. I know I fucked up. I fucked up bad, but I’m glad you turned out to be a strong, independent man despite being burdened with me as a parent. Your mom…she’d be so proud of you, of both of you.” John’s eyes filled with tears and his lip quivered at his confession and he squeezed his son’s hand harder.

“I should have told you more often how much I loved you. How much I still do. I know you don’t like to talk about your feelings Dean, and that’s fine, but I need you to know that. I’m sorry that it took being faced with my own mortality for me to realize just how badly I fucked up with you and your brother.”

When Cas returned with the coffee he found Dean leaning over the bed hugging his father. Both men were crying and they looked up embarrassed when they noticed him standing there. They separated and Dean wiped at his eyes before accepting the cup from his boyfriend. They settled back into their seats and the game continued.

When John’s dinner was brought in they decided it was time to leave. As they walked out of the building Dean leaned into Cas, letting the man wrap an arm around him as they made their way to the car. 

“Are you ok?” Cas asked once they had pulled out of the parking lot.

“Honestly? I don’t know. It’s weird. He apologized for all the shit he put me through as a kid. Part of me wants to tell him to go to hell while another part of me needed to hear that. He told me he loves me and that he’s proud of me. I don’t think he told me he loved me since I was about six.”

Cas realized Dean’s hands were trembling on the wheel. 

“Hey, pull in there, we can have dinner.” 

Dean pulled into the parking lot and into the first spot he saw. Cas reached over and put the car in park before turning the car off.

“Come here baby.” He said softly as he pulled Dean towards him. Dean went without resistance, letting Cas hold him until he was able to calm down.

“I hate this. I hate not knowing how I’m supposed to be feeling, or what I’m supposed to be doing.” He admitted.

“That’s life though, we aren’t going to know everything every time. You have people that care about you. You are not alone. There are so many people that love you babe, so very many. Ellen, Bobby, Charlie, Sam…me.” 

Dean lifted his head and looked Cas in the eye. 

“I love you too.” He kissed Cas as though his life depended on it. “I love you so fucking much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Now I have to hurry up and write some more to it. I'm doing 3 fics at once right now!!!!


	8. Homophobia and Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is in a mood after the visit to see his father and they decide to stop for dinner along the way, except it quickly turns sour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this might be a touchy subject for some but I live in a state where a law was actually passed allowing businesses to turn people away based on their orientation under the guise of religious preferences. I deliberately will only do business with places that are opening accepting of everyone. Even if I wasn't pan, I would still be a huge supporter and only want to do business with people that see eveyone as equal, so unfortunately, in my state, places like this restaurant really do exist. It's a shame too. I had Dean handle the situation with diplomacy, because it really wouldn't have been the poor waitress' fault. I hope you enjoy the chapter, we're moving along here and they're growing closer all the time.

“Come on, I know you haven’t eaten since breakfast. Let’s go inside.” Cas got out and came around to the driver’s side and opened Dean’s door for him. Dean got out and they walked into the restaurant together.

They were seated in a booth in the far corner and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why they were put there. They were seated directly under an air conditioning vent too and it was a good fifteen minutes before the waitress came to take their drink order. Dean made her move them to the interior of the room.

“What was that about?” Cas asked once they were seated at the new table and had given their drink orders. Dean’s eyes were on the menu, his expression stony.

“I have zero tolerance for homophobia.” Was all Dean said. Cas looked around the mostly empty room, noticing the way the waitresses were whispering and staring from where they stood near the kitchen. When they realized they’d been spotted they scurried into the kitchen. That didn’t help his rising paranoia at all.

“I can’t believe people still act like that in this day and age.” Cas said as he picked up his own menu. He was almost afraid to order for fear that someone might tamper with his food. He eventually settled on a grilled chicken sandwich and fries. 

“What are you getting?” He asked. He noticed that though Dean was still holding the menu up, his eyes were trained on the wait staff. He lowered it and beckoned their waitress over.

“Are you ready to order?” She asked.

“That depends. How many people in your establishment are homophobic?” He countered. The girl was flustered, caught off guard by the question. She glanced nervously at the other waitresses who still stood by the kitchen.

“I, um, don’t understand?”

“It’s a simple question. Is this or is this not a gay friendly establishment? And please do not lie, I won’t tell you manager.” Dean was staring hard at the girl. She looked to Cas, noting his cool expression.

“It’s not. The owner would prefer they not come in here at all, and when they do…” She fidgeted with the edge of her apron. The poor thing looked terrified. “We’re not supposed to seat them over here.”

“That’s what I thought. Please cancel our drink order, we’ll be eating elsewhere, and we will not be giving a recommendation for this place either.” Dean slid out of his seat and stood up.

“Come on babe, we’ll go eat somewhere where we’ll be respected.”

As Cas stood up Dean took his hand and they walked out.

“I was looking forward to that chicken sandwich too.” Cas joked.

“Not once they dropped it on the floor or spit in it you wouldn’t.” Dean looked back at the place in disgust before opening the car door for Cas.

“We could go back to the diner where we had our first date.” Cas suggested once they were both inside the car. “I like their burgers.”

“But we run the risk of encountering Pam.” Dean reminded him.

“It’s worth it, the food is good.”

They went to the diner and Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Pam was not there. They were seated in a booth one over from where they had sat last time and their server was a perky teenager girl that looked at them both with giant hearts in her eyes. Especially Dean, though he didn’t seem to notice. They ordered coffee and the girl was quick to bring it back. 

“You probably don’t remember me, but I had you for English last year.” She blurted as she put their cups down in front of them. Dean looked up at the girl, studying her face before the recognition hit.

“Kylie, right? Third period?”

“Oh my God! I can’t believe you remembered!”

Dean chuckled and glanced over at Cas who looked amused.

“How are you Kylie? How’s life post-graduation?” 

She shrugged. “I’m in school for nursing and it’s going ok. I work here and at the hardware store, but only part time for both. Are you still teaching Honors English though?”

“Yep, though for summer school I have freshman English.” He replied.

“Yikes, that must be a drag.”

“Not really. They’re doing very well reading The Merchant of Venice.” 

She looked over at Cas. “Are you a teacher too?”

“No, I’m a musician. But I intend to go to school to become one.” Cas replied.

“A musician? You don’t say. Do I know your band?” She was intrigued now.

“Maybe. Into the Abyss. We play locally mostly.” 

She frowned. “Nope, I don’t think I know that one.”

“Probably because they primarily play establishments that you are too young to attend.” Dean said with a small laugh. She giggled and pulled out her notepad.

“Do you know what you want?”

They placed their order and handed the menus back to her. Once she had finally walked away Dean reached across the table to grasp Cas’ hand.

“I’m sorry if I seemed on edge at that other place.”

“It’s ok, I like this place. Even Kylie is preferable to Pam, and I’d take either over sexist pricks.” Cas turned Dean’s hand over so it was palm up and placed a kiss in the center.

“Thank you. Sam would have accused me of blowing things out of proportion and made me stay. But he doesn’t get it. This state…it’s not as forward thinking as I would like. Sometimes I think about leaving.” Dean looked up to gauge Cas’ reaction to his words.

“I get it because I’ve encountered it many times before myself. I’ve stormed out of places with a lot less grace than what we did today. Sam doesn’t get it because he hasn’t experienced it. I would think he’d be more sympathetic.” 

Dean sighed. “He is, but sometimes he forgets. If I was dating a girl he would let himself put it out of his mind because we weren’t experiencing it, you know? He’s the damn lawyer too, you think he’d be all over it and threaten them with lawsuits, but no, he’s passive, looks for the quiet way out of everything, even in situations where the other person is clearly wrong. I think he just doesn’t want to earn himself a reputation for suing, or threatening to sue. Some day he wants to run for DA. He has a long road ahead of him though.”

“Maybe I’ll sit him down and explain some things to him one of these days. Tell him some of the things I’ve had to endure at the hands of sexist, homophobic pricks.” Cas said.

Kylie returned with their food her eyes lighting up when she saw them holding hands. They let go so she could set their plates down.

“Anything else I can get you?” She asked.

Dean checked to make sure there was ketchup on the table. “Nope, I think we’re good, unless you need something?” He looked at Cas.

“More coffee would be nice.” Cas smiled at the girl who nodded and hurried to get the coffee pot.

Once she had refilled their coffee and left them to eat they returned to their conversation.

“Does the school have a problem with your sexuality? Do they even know you’re pan?” Cas asked.

“The school is the most liberal one in the entire state, it’s why I took the job. As far as they’re concerned, I’m bi. Pansexuality is a bit over their heads, but bisexuality they seem able to grasp better. And I’m not alone either. One of the gym teachers, Ms. Steiner, she’s a lesbian, and the principal is gay. There are a few others that aren’t out of the closet just yet, but we all kind of know already.”

Cas nodded. “It’s good that they are accepting. The first thing I said after I auditioned for the orchestra was that I was gay and if they had a problem with it, I was walking. Course that confused them to no end since I was married at the time. But I’ve played with a lot of the same people all these years, and they know me well and accept me, so it’s cool. More than a few of them are things other than straight too.” He finished the last bite of his burger and started on his fries.

“I have to admit something.”

Dean paused in biting into his burger and looked up at him.

“And what is that?”

“I looked up pansexuality. I wasn’t really getting it, so I asked Balthazar if he knew what it was and the bastard admitted he’s pan too. He explained it better to me than what I was understanding by reading it online. I think I have a pretty good idea of what it means now though.” Cas told him.

“Balthazar? Did he never come out to you?” Dean asked.

“I never asked. I just assumed he was bi as I’ve seen him date a lot of different people. His current girlfriend I just learned is transgender. I had no idea. It’s cool though, and he’s happy with her. It’s about time too, dude’s ten years older than me. He should have settled down and started a family like fifteen years ago.” Cas laughed.

“Are they that serious?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah, they are. He told me he loves her and they’re thinking of getting a place together. At our next concert I’ll introduce you to her. She comes to all of our concerts.”

“I’d like that. Have they been together long?”

“Oh, geez…” Cas looked up at the garish light fixture over the table while he tried to think. “Six years maybe? They broke up for a few months about six months in, but he missed her so much he was a big cranky pain in my ass, so I called her up and told her. She came over and they made up. They’ve been together ever since.”

“That’s sweet. I’m glad they’re happy.” Dean said.

“Me too. But more than that, I’m glad that I met you. I’ve never been this happy in my life. I didn’t know I even could be.” Cas had finished his fries about the same time Dean finished the last of his own meal. He stacked the plates and moved them off to the side so he could hold Dean’s hand again.

“I feel the same way Cas. I think I get now how Sam feels when he’s with Jess. That’s how I feel when I’m with you.” Dean kissed the palm of Cas’ hand, making the other man grin.

“I hate to interrupt, cause honestly, you guys are super adorable, but did you like, want dessert or anything?” Kylie asked.

“Yes. Pie.” Both men replied in unison. They both burst out laughing. Kylie laughed with them.

She brought them two slices, one lemon merengue and one cherry. Dean snagged the cherry but happily shared with Cas who obliged with the lemon one. It didn’t take long before the pie was gone. Cas paid the bill and they bid Kylie a good evening before they went out to the car.

When the pulled up to Dean’s building he could see Sam’s car across the street. He didn’t say anything as they climbed the stairs and went into the apartment. They could hear voices coming from the kitchen and Dean followed them, pulling Cas along with him.

“Hey.” Sam said when they walked in. Dean was surprised to see Benny there as well as Jess.

“Hey.” Dean nodded at his brother. He gave Benny a hug.

“What are you doing here?” He asked his friend.

“I heard about your dad. I stopped by to make sure you were holding up alright, but you weren’t here.” Benny replied.

“I’m ok. Cas went with me and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected.” Dean told him.

“You want a beer?” Jess asked.

“Hell yes. What about you Cas? Want one?” Dean turned to look at his boyfriend who smiled and nodded. 

“Yes, please!”

Dean didn’t question his brother about his absence this afternoon, though Sam looked sufficiently guilty about it. He was sitting in one of the oversized armchairs across the room with Jess spread across his lap, her head resting on his shoulder. Benny sat on one end of the couch while Cas sat on the other end. Dean was pressed in close to his boyfriend, his head resting on the smaller man’s chest as his thoughts drifted to the conversation he’d had earlier with his father. Cas sipped at his beer, his free arm rubbing Dean’s arm, comforting him silently. The room was quieter than Dean liked. It was Benny that finally broke the silence.

“So, he’s staying where exactly? Is he with Ellen?”

Dean turned his head enough that he could look at his friend directly.

“No, he’s in hospice, which is actually located inside a nursing home. Place was a lot nicer than I thought it would be.” 

Benny nodded, sipping at his beer.

“Must have been strange to see him sober.”

Cas looked at Benny, the shock apparent on his face but Dean just shrugged.

“A bit. I mean, he had sober moments when we were kids. Not so much these last few years. It was a bit disconcerting.”

“I don’t remember him sober.” Sam said quietly.

“I know.” Dean responded in the same quiet voice.

“I think I’ll go up and see him, maybe next week.” Benny said.

“Really?” Sam asked, surprised.

“I’ve known the man most of my life. I’d be an asshole not to at least visit him once.” He leveled Sam with a stare that made the younger Winchester bow his head in guilt.

“Yeah, you’re right. I think maybe I’ll go tomorrow.” He said.

“You should take Jess. Ellen’s been raving about her and he was asking about her. I think he’s like to meet her.” Dean told his brother. Sam looked up at him and then at Cas.

“And he was ok meeting Cas?”

Dean smiled and snuggled in closer to his boyfriend. “Better than ok. He gave Cas the official Winchester seal of approval.”

Cas chuckled. “What does that mean?”

Dean tilted his head back to look up at him.

“While you were out getting coffee he told me about my mom, and how he knew the moment he laid eyes on her that he was in love with her. Said he saw that between us. He said he likes you and told me to be good to you.”

Cas felt his throat tighten and he swallowed in a vain attempt to loosen it. “Oh…wow.”

Dean leaned up to kiss him before settling back down against his chest. He realized everyone in the room was staring at them.

“Did I miss something?” Sam asked, looking between them.

“They’re in love Sam. How could you possibly miss that? You’d have to be blind, deaf, and dumb to miss it.” Jess said. Sam frowned at her before taking a long swallow of his beer.

“Hell, even I saw it. Just didn’t think you guys had said the actual words yet.” Benny mused.

“We just did this afternoon.” Cas told him. 

“Well good for you two, I’m happy for you both.” He raised his beer in a salute before tipping the bottle back and draining it.

“You ok brother? Need me to stay?” He asked Dean after disposing of his beer bottle.

“No, I think I’m ok. Strangely numb, but…ok. I’m still trying to sort through how I feel about him.” Dean told him. Benny placed a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I need to get home, Andrea’s parents are in town and I need to make a good impression, but if you need me, for anything, you just holler, you got it?”

Dean smiled and nodded. “Absolutely. Give her my love. And good luck with her folks.”

“I’ll need it, trust me!” Benny chuckled. He shook hands with Cas and waved to Sam and Jess as he started for the door.

“See you all later!”

When Benny was gone Jess got up and moved over to the couch.

“Dean?”

He sat up and looked over at her. “Yeah hon?”

“I’m sorry Sam didn’t go with you today. I tried to convince him to go but…” She looked over at her boyfriend with a disappointed expression. Sam lowered his head.

“He wasn’t ready. I know you needed him, but he just wasn’t ready.” She took his free hand between both of her own and squeezed it.

“It was ok. I’m not mad at Sammy. I get it. And you don’t know what a true asshole our dad was to us growing up. I’m not saying John has changed completely but…he’s not the same man he was. With the alcohol out of his system he’s different. If you go see him you’ll know what I mean.”

“We’ll go see him. Sam doesn’t realize it but he needs closure just as much as you do.” She said.

“Are you hungry?” Dean asked of no one in particular.

“Dean, we ate.” Cas reminded him.

“I know.” He just felt the need to do something, to be busy. 

“We ate too.” Sam said. Dean was starting to fidget, Cas could feel it. Jess has returned to her spot on Sam’s lap and Dean was almost vibrating with tension.

“Hey, why don’t we go bake something?” Cas asked softly. Dean suddenly relaxed, smiling up at him.

“Yeah, I could use some pie.”

It was well after dark by the time the six pies that Dean had insisted on making were finished and left to cool on the counter. Cas planned to bring one to work, and another one home for Balthazar to devour. Jess had gone home and Sam had retired to his room by that point. Cas had watched the tension slowly ease from the man’s shoulders as he mixed ingredients, kneaded dough, and chopped fruit. He asked questions when he felt that Dean’s mind was wandering back into dangerous territory, drawing the man into conversation about the food they were making, about the coming tour, about anything that was not related to the topic of John Winchester. 

“I’m sorry I kept you so late.” Dean had finished wiping down the counters and was yawning. Cas rubbed his back and smiled.

“I was thinking…I could stay the night. If you want.”

Dean turned and smiled at him. It was not the beautiful smile that Cas had come to love so much. This one was fully of pain. “I was hoping you’d say that. I didn’t really want to be alone with my thoughts tonight.”

“Come on baby. I’ll hold you so you can sleep.” Cas took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom. Slowly he undressed Dean until he was down to his boxers, then he stripped out of his own clothes.

“Let’s go brush our teeth.” Cas reached into his own bag and pulled out his toothbrush before leading Dean to the bathroom. Once they brushed their teeth they returned to the bedroom where Cas tenderly tucked him into bed. Dean curled himself around the man, burying his face in his chest. The man was strangely subdued and it worried Cas, but he knew it had been an extremely stressful day. He prayed a good night’s rest would help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you all think!


	9. Take Care of My Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean second guesses leaving his dad to go and be with Cas, but John puts his foot down, telling his son to go and be with the man he loves. He asks Cas a single favor though. To please take care of his son.
> 
> While driving up to meet Cas, Dean gets a phone call from someone that should have stayed in his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to Google the hell out of this road trip. Good Chuck that's a long drive! Over 1,000 miles! But worth it when he reaches his man. 
> 
> As for the phone call, bear with me, I have a plan.

Cas ended up staying more nights than not until it was time to leave for his tour. Once he was gone Dean busied himself with his lesson plans, working not only on the one for his summer school classes but also the ones for the coming school year. He cleaned the apartment so often that Sam actually hid the cleaning supplies from him to get him to stop. It was three weeks into Cas’ tour and they had somehow managed to video chat every single day despite Cas’ busy schedule, and not a single day passed when they didn’t tell one another ‘I love you’. In between their calls, work, and the myriad of well-meaning people that stopped through every day to check on Dean, he went to visit John.

As the weeks progressed Dean watched his father deteriorate slowly. The last day before he was supposed to drive up to see Cas he was sitting in his father’s room watching the man sleep. He had started to think that it would be better to stay with his father than to go to Cas. As he watched the steady rise and fall of his father’s chest his phone rang.

“Hello?” He hadn’t realized he’d been crying until he heard his voice crack, 

“Dean? Baby, are you ok?” Dean sniffled and smiled at the sound of his boyfriend’s concern.

“Yeah, I’m ok. I was just sitting with dad and thinking.” He replied quietly.

“How is he?” 

“A little worse. He sleeps a lot more now. They have him on some pretty heavy pain killers.” Dean wiped at his eyes and looked over at his father again. The man’s chest still rose and fell in a smooth rhythm. 

“Are…you still coming up tomorrow?” There was fear and hope wound together in Cas’ voice and Dean felt more torn than ever. While Dean was debating, he felt a hand close over his own. He looked up to see his father looking at him.

“That Cas?” John asked, looking at the phone.

“Yeah dad.” Dean nodded.

“Give it here.” John motioned for him to hand the phone over.

“Uh, my dad wants to talk to you.” Dean told Cas.

He handed the phone over and waited.

“Cas?” John’s voice was raspy yet still strong.

“Yes, sir, it’s good to hear your voice.” Cas told him. John smiled, still looking at his son.

“Dean will be leaving tomorrow straight from work. It’ll take him about eighteen hours if he drives straight through, but I expect you to be the responsible one and tell him to stop and get a motel room, so expect him at some point Sunday morning. Make sure you arrange for an extra key to be left at the front desk so he can get in the room in case you’re asleep or not there. I’m not letting him linger here to watch me get worse. He needs you son. I need you to take care of him. Can you do that for me?”

“Absolutely sir.” Cas replied without hesitation.

“I know you love my boy, and he needs sometimes to have someone take care of him. Don’t let him be stubborn.”

Cas laughed even though his voice choked. “Yes sir, he certainly is stubborn, but I promise, I’ll take care of him.”

John cleared his throat and let out a small laugh. “I know you will son. I’m glad he has you in his life. I’m going to put him back on the phone. Don’t let him overthink this.”

“You have my word.” Cas told him.

“Good. Enjoy the rest of your tour and I’ll see you when you get back.” John handed the phone back to his son who was staring at his father with his jaw gaping.

“Shut your mouth son before you start catching flies.” 

Dean snapped his mouth shut and accepted the phone. 

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, I’ll see you Saturday, ok?”

“I love you too. See you then.” Dean confirmed.

The line went dead and he lowered the phone from his ear, shoving it back in his pocket. For a long time he and John just stared at one another.

“You’ll be alright Dean. You’ve been alright all this time without me around and you’ll be alright once I’m gone, but that man of yours? He needs you as much as you need him. So you go to him, show him how much you love him, and let him be there for you. He wants to. Enjoy the time you have together because life is much too short. Don’t waste it like I did.”

When Dean opened his mouth to argue John smacked his hand.

“Don’t try to tell me otherwise. I know I squandered my time with my children, and it’s something I regret, but you don’t have to make the same mistake.”

Dean nodded. His father was right.

“You two thinking about starting a family?” John asked.

“Dad!” Dean gasped.

“It’s an honest question. Are you?”

“We haven’t been together long enough for that.” Dean complained.

“I knew the second I met your mama that I wanted her to be the mother of my children. What’s so hard about that? I know you’ll be a good dad. A much better one than I ever was, and Cas will be a great father too.”

Dean sighed as he thought about Cas and a conversation they’d had not all that long ago.

“He…wants a family. A couple of kids, house with the white picket fence, the whole shebang. We’re not talking marriage yet though. Geeze dad, we’ve been dating like two months, and he has no stability in his current job. But maybe once he’s done with school we’ll talk more about it.” 

John sighed and smiled at the frown on his son’s face. “I’ll hang around until you boys are back in town. I’m not quite ready to call it quits.” 

Dean bid his father goodnight as the man was drifting off again with the thanks of a new dose of pain meds and went home. Sam had been taking up the slack, visiting their father on the days that he could not and they had formed a tentative relationship. John listened patiently as Sam talked about work or about Jess, never interrupting, and it seemed to ease a lot of his brother’s tension. Sam came home after visits with their dad calmer and more focused. It pleased Dean to no end to see them getting along. Jess didn’t even go with him most of the time now. She understood too that Sam needed the time alone with his dad, though on weekends she would still accompany him. John had confided in Dean after first meeting Jess that while she was a beautiful and intelligent young lady, he much preferred Cas. Dean had been greatly amused by that revelation. When he had told Cas that on one of their Skype sessions his boyfriend had actually teared up. While his own father had never found it in his heart to accept him, Dean’s father had. 

His bags were packed and the gas tank was topped off. He loaded the bags into the trunk when he got home so he wouldn’t have to make another stop after work the following day. He literally wanted to leave the high school and jump on the expressway. The sooner her could cold Cas in his arms, the better. Sam was waiting with dinner when he got back from their dad. It was take out, but Dean appreciated the gesture and the fact that he would not have to cook. After dinner he decided he wanted to bring something with for Cas, so he set about making a pie. He hadn’t made one since the first night he’d gone to see his dad and his hands were itching to work, so he made Cas’ favorite; cherry. When it was finished he left it cooling on the counter and warned Sam that he would cut his hands off if he touched it.

“It’s for Cas, not you Sasquatch. Hands off!”

He went to his room and pulled up Skype. There was a concert at 7pm Eastern time so Dean knew it would be a few hours before he could look into those blue eyes he loved so much, even if it was from a thousand miles away. He knew the moment Cas got back to his hotel room he would pull up Skype and be looking for him. 

“Hey Dean?” Sam’s shaggy head was leaning into the room.

“Yeah?”

“You want me to pack you food for the road?” Dean was warmed by his brother’s kind gesture. It was the one thing he had, himself forgotten to do.

“Sure. A couple pb&j’s, and some chips. Maybe a couple cans of soda?”

“I’ll toss some apples and oranges in there too so I’m not worried about your eating habits while you’re on the road.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, sure. I’ll even eat them.”

“I want to see a video of that!” Sam pointed a finger at him, laughing.

“Thanks Sammy.”

“No problem.”

He listened to his brother’s retreating footsteps before pulling out the last stack of papers to be graded. The rest of the evening was spent grading and calculating the final grades. It pleased him to see that of the two hundred and nine students he had taught this summer (turned out the three area high schools had decided to converge and send all their wayward students to one school to reduce costs), only seventeen had not passed. It had bothered him at first seeing these kids scoring F after F, but he soon realized that no amount of pep talks or bribery would work on them, so he was forced to concentrate on the ones that really did want to pass. His efforts did not go unrewarded. Of those that passed there was only one D, the rest passed with a C or better. The D went to a young man that had been reluctant to reveal that he had a learning disability, but Dean had spoken to the principal and managed to get the boy a tutor. He hoped the boy’s sophomore year would be easier. 

At ten his Skype rang. He pulled up the app and accepted the call. A moment later messy dark hair and bright blue eyes were staring back at him.

“Hi baby, I missed you!” Cas had the biggest smile on his face, the one Dean loved seeing the most. He smiled back.

“I missed you too. How was the concert?”

They discussed the concert, some fundraiser Cas had felt hypocritical even playing, that some important politicians had attended. He had to endure a lot of hand shaking and faking smiles until he could escape, catching a ride back to the hotel so he could call Dean. Dean told him about the final grades and the number of kids that failed. Cas wanted to know how he felt about that, and he told him. As they both began to drift off sometime after two they managed to discuss the actual trip itself. Dean fell asleep touching the screen while Cas slipped into a peaceful sleep clutching the tablet he used for the video chats. They were both content in the fact that soon they would have one another to hold as they fell asleep, neither aware of the fact the other was longing for a day when they would never be a part from one another again.

 

Dean was extra perky the next day, despite the lack of sleep as he handed out the last of their graded papers along with their grades. He engaged the kids in small talk, asking about what they had planned for the remainder of their summer, and described in detail the road trip he would be starting once the bell rang that afternoon. Being that it was the last day of school the principal had conceded to allow him to wear a tee shirt and jeans, and the kids were excited at the sight of his tattoos. They asked questions about them, and about the reason behind his road trip. His sexuality was known among the staff but not really amongst his students, though rumors had burned through the classes like an out of control forest fire after Cas had brought his phone to school that one morning and Dean could hear them whispering about the man with the piercing blue eyes and how they thought he was driving to see him. He neither confirmed nor denied their theory, instead redirecting their attention to a new movie coming out. 

When the last bell rang he let out an audible sigh of relief. The walk to his car seemed to take forever and his stomach was rumbling loudly. He would have to stop for food along the way but he didn’t intend to go inside. It was going to be to go. Nothing was going to keep him from the man he loved, least of all a cheeseburger.

He swung onto the expressway, Zeppelin playing on the radio, cheeseburger in hand, Cas on his mind, and as he eased through the beginning of the rush hour traffic that for some reason always seemed to start around two thirty in this area he heard his phone ring. He hit his Bluetooth, never taking his eyes off the road.

“Talk to me.” 

“Hey Dean.”

He almost swerved out of his lane at the sound of the voice in his ear.

“What are you calling for? How’d you even get my number?” He demanded.

“Dean, don’t be like that. I’m sorry things ended on such a bad note.”

“Kelly, I don’t have time for this. I ended things with your sister three years ago. She has to realize at some point that I moved on. Stop calling on her behalf!” He snapped. It had been over a year since Kelly had called but every time he thought he had her and her insane sister Julie out of mind one of them would get his number and call him out of the blue. He had changed his number a half dozen times to no avail.

“Dean, Julie died.” She said softly.

A long silence fell between them.

“How?” He finally asked.

“Car accident. Last month.” Kelly replied.

He sighed deeply. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. I thought you should know.” 

“I appreciate that, but really, we weren’t on speaking terms. She was stalking me Kel, even you had to realize that.” He frowned as he merged into the next lane and zipped around a slow hybrid car in an obnoxious burnt orange color.

“Yeah, I realize my sister was unstable, that’s why I made her move in with me last year. I was trying to get her to refocus. Got her on meds too that really were helping.” She said.

“I’m really sorry for you and your family. How are your parents taking it?” He asked. She laughed but it was bitter and he could hear the pain in it.

“They were in the car with her. They were coming back from a wedding, someone my mom and Jules knew. Dad was driving and he suffered a sudden, major heart attack. He died instantly, they went over an embankment and crashed head first into concrete.”

“I am so sorry Kel, really, I am. How are you doing?” He’d never really had anything against Kelly other than that she would call on behalf of her sister from time to time, though she always seemed reluctant to do so.”

“I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it. I was just diagnosed with MS. They didn’t catch it until I complained to my doctor the fourth time about problems with my hands and legs. They expect me to be in a wheelchair before the year is out.” 

Dean wanted to cry on her behalf. 

“Wow.” He didn’t want to sound stupid by saying he was sorry yet again, so just remained quiet.

“I was hoping you could come visit. I have something important to give you that belonged to you and Julie.” She said.

“Nah, keep it.” He told her.

“Dean, you don’t understand. I’m going to text you a picture and my address. I need you to look at it and then come see me.” There was something in the tone of her voice that was off. It was strained and as much as he didn’t ever want to think about Julie again, he was intrigued. His phone buzzed, alerting him to the text message.

“I’m on a road trip right now, when I pull into the motel for the night I’ll look.” It was the best he was willing to offer.

“Where are you traveling to?” She asked.

“Philly. Meeting up with my boyfriend, he’s in an orchestra and they’re touring the East coast.” He replied.

“I’m in Vermont. Trust me, you’ll want to come pick this up. I’ll talk to you later. I expect you’ll call me at some point. You have my number. Drive safe Dean.”

She sounded so tired and he wondered what the hell he had left behind that was so important that she needed to give it to him. The line went dead but he didn’t touch his phone. No, he was almost afraid of what was in that text. His relationship with Julie had lasted a whopping four months and when she had started harboring notions of marriage he’d had to end it. She had been sweet and wonderful to him, but he hadn’t felt anything for her. Then she had proceeded to make things extremely difficult for him by calling him repeatedly over the next two year, begging him to come back to her. He was fairly certain there was absolutely nothing he had left behind in that relationship. 

Or was there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you all are speculating as to what is in that text. It's not rocket science. More than likely, your guess is accurate, but you'll have to wait for the next chapter to know for sure...


	10. When the Past Comes Back to Haunt You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean attends the concert at the governor's mansion but when people start ogling Dean, Cas proves he has a bit of a jealous streak.
> 
> When they get back to the room that night Dean remembers he has a text waiting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like a touch of Jealous!Cas.

He drove for twelve straight hours, not stopping until he was in Ohio. By the time he pulled into the motel parking lot he was almost falling asleep behind the wheel. The last thing he wanted was to die on his way to meeting Cas. When he reached his room he pulled out his laptop and pulled the Skype app up. Cas was online of course, await his call. He stripped down to his boxers as he dialed the number and crawled into bed.

“Dean? Baby, you got a motel room, right? I thought you would have done that hours ago.” Cas chastised. Dean chuckled, he was just glad to hear the man’s voice.

“I know, I know. But I’ll be there maybe by tonight. I just couldn’t wait to see you.” He murmured. He was lying on his stomach next to the computer peering sleepily up at his boyfriend’s face.

“You look so exhausted. Please, sleep longer than just a few hours. There’s no rush, I have a rehearsal in the morning anyway. We’re performing for the governor at the mansion tonight. I got you an invite. I already rented your tux.” Cas told him. Dean smiled.

“A tux? Imma look so fancy.” He intended to chuckle but it came out as more of a giggle.

“You’ll look sexy as hell is what you’ll look like. Now please, get some sleep. I love you Dean.”

“I love you too.” Dean yawned, his eyes drifting shut against his will. Cas smiled, kissing the tips of his fingers and pressing them to the camera.

“Sleep well, I’ll see you soon.”

Dean woke the following morning to two realizations.

One: He had forgotten his phone charger at home.

Two: His phone was deader than a door knob.

He reluctantly got up when housekeeping started making noise out in the hall around seven and took a quick shower before dressing in clean clothes and getting back on the road. He made a quick stop to buy a charge cord but it would have to wait until he got to the hotel in order to charge it. He had all but forgotten about Kelly’s text as he drove the last few hundred miles.

He reached Philly just after five and he was beyond eager to get to the hotel. Traffic was a nightmare and it was nearly seven before he found the hotel and pulled into a parking spot. His bags were in the trunk and he grabbed them along with his dead phone and the new charge cord and rushed inside. The concierge looked up with a bright, friendly smile as he approached.

“Good evening and welcome to the Hilton, are you needing a single room?”

“I have a room already reserved, under the name Castiel Novak. He was supposed to tell you guys I was on my way.” He said. The man typed away on his computer.

“Ah, yes he did. Can I see your ID?” 

Dean produced his identification and accepted it back along with the room key and directions to the room. When he staggered into Cas’ room ten minutes later he was out of breath and cranky, but the sight of a beautiful head of hair sitting on the edge of the bed turning to look up at him made him forget it all.

“Dean!” Cas was on his feet, rushing at him before he was fully in the room and he dropped everything on the floor, reaching out for Cas too. 

“God I missed you.” Cas murmured as he peppered Dean’s face with tiny kisses.

“I missed you too babe, so much.” Dean hugged him tight, never wanting to let him go. When they finally pulled apart and he got a good look at the man his jaw actually dropped. Cas was dressed in a perfectly tailored tux, his normally wild hair neatly combed and styled. The lip ring was gone and one strategically placed lock of hair covered the piercing in his eyebrow that had been changed from its usual silver to one the same color as his skin. He looked like the next James Bond. It was sexy as hell.

“Ok, stop undressing me with your eyes and hurry up and take a shower. You need to still shave. You have thirty minutes before we have to leave. Now get moving!” Cas pushed him towards the bathroom. Dean chuckled as he started the water and began stripping down.

“Fine, but your ass is mine tonight!”

Cas laughed, the merriment he felt making his blue eyes sparkle more than they usually did when Dean was around.

“Yes Dean, now hurry up!”

Dean showered in record time and twenty minutes later he was clean shaven and dressed in a tux. He adjusted the cuffs and smoothed his hair down in the mirror while Cas watched.

“How come your phone was off? I tried to call you several times.”

Dean suddenly remembered his phone, though not the text. He fished it out of his jeans and opened the package with the new charge cord.

“I forgot my home charger and I think Sam borrowed the car charger and didn’t return it cause I couldn’t find it anywhere. I had to stop and buy a new one, but it’s a wall one, so I couldn’t plug it in til I got here. I’ll just leave it here to charge.” He plugged it in and turned to look at his boyfriend.

“You look stunning Dean.” Cas was looking him over, eyes lingering longer than was polite on his pants.

“Why thank you. Shall we?” He held an arm out. Cas laughed and took it.

“I look forward to seeing you perform live babe.” Dean told him.

“It’ll finally make one of these stupid events bearable now that you’re here.” Cas placed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth and Dean melted. This was going to be a wonderful night.

The performance was beautiful and Dean was surprised by how much he actually enjoyed the classical music. He suspected it was all the hours he sat listening to Cas play, but in truth he actually liked the way the music flowed. It had a calming effect and when Cas wasn’t around and Sam was off at Jess’ he preferred to play that instead of the classic rock everyone knew him to love. When it was over he remained in his seat as Cas has instructed until he saw the familiar shape of his boyfriend making his way through the crowd. People tried to stop the man, draw him into conversation, especially the women, but his eyes were locked on Dean as he made his way to him.

“What did you think?” Cas asked once he had reached him. Dean stood up, a grin on his face.

“I thought it was amazing. You were amazing. Don’t tell Sammy, but I actually like classical music. He doesn’t need to know we actually have something in common.”

“You mean besides Taylor Swift?” Cas cocked an eyebrow, a playful smile on his lips. Dean glared at him.

“Don’t you DARE tell him that!”

Cas made the sign of the cross over his heart. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

They made their way through the crowd, stopping to talk to people that Dean had never in his life ever thought he might hob nob with. He felt particularly snooty as he chatted with the governor himself, discussing, of all things, pie crust. Dean ended up jotting the recipe down for the man’s wife and providing his number in case he wanted any pie recipes. He walked away from that conversation mouthing the words ‘Oh my God!’ to Cas who snorted and shook his head.

Women were flirts. They flocked to the men like moths to a flame, but most were easily deflected just by Cas taking Dean’s hand. Dean was amused by his boyfriend’s gesture, leaning in more than once to remind him that he nothing at all to worry about. Still, Cas couldn’t help it. Dean was sweet and he was kind and gentle. And Dean was HIS. When a curvy brunette in a sequined ruby red dress with a slit up to her waist came gliding up to Dean while Cas was getting them something to drink he almost flipped. He only caught the tail end of the conversation as he made his way back to where Dean stood.

“Well I don’t see a ring on your finger.” The woman was saying, her fingernails, painted to match her dress reached out to touch one of the buttons on Dean’s jacket. Cas opened his mouth to give the woman an earful but Dean was much more polite about it.

“I don’t think my boyfriend is going to appreciate you putting your hands on me.” Dean told her, his expression amused as her face fell.

“Boyfriend?”

Dean nodded towards Cas who was glaring daggers at the woman from just a few feet away, a glass of champagne in each hand. She saw the look on Cas’ face and immediately dropped her hand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…” She looked up at Dean like he’d just run over her dog.

“Damn, the good looking ones are always gay.” She muttered as she walked away. Dean looked at Cas and snorted. He took one of the glasses as it was offered.

“Guess you can hold your own.” Cas looked around to make sure no one was watching before he reached around to run his hand over the firm curve of Dean’s ass.

“Told you I could. Baby, I’m yours, they don’t hold a candle to you.” Dean had leaned closer to whisper the words in Cas’ ear, and the shorter man shivered. Yes, Dean was his but the rest of the world clearly didn’t see that. He eyed Dean’s left hand which was barren of all jewelry. It was tempting to blow his own plans out the window just to lay his claim now.

“I think we need to leave. Now.” Cas announced. He threw back the rest of his champagne and Dean did the same. Abandoning the empty glasses on a side table Cas let a few of his fellow musicians know they were leaving.

The ride to the hotel was brief and Cas was already taking his jacket and bowtie off before they reached the elevators.

“We leave in the morning?” Dean asked.

“No, we have one more show here tomorrow. Some monument unveiling. I failed to listen because honestly, I don’t care. I go, I play, I socialize, I leave. Day after tomorrow we play in New York and I already told Ed I won’t be in for rehearsals. We’ll be performing six shows in New York City, so we’ll be in the city for eight days. Then we swing north to Connecticut. We have two shows, then we get two days off before we drive to Massachusetts. Three shows there and I’m done for a month!” 

They were back in the bedroom now and Cas collapsed back onto the bed with his arms outstretched. To Dean he looked like an angel. Cas lifted his head to look at him.

“What are you still doing dressed?”

Dean chuckled as he stripped off the jacket and removed his bowtie. He set everything carefully on the desk before moving to the buttons on his cuffs.

“Hey babe? You have a couple of text messages. Like, ten of them.” Cas had Dean’s phone and was unplugging it. He held it out to him.

“Oh right, Kelly texted me yesterday.” He suddenly remembered.

“Who’s Kelly?” Cas asked as he began undoing his own cuffs.

“Oh, uh, this girl Julie I dated a while back, Kelly’s her sister. Anyway, she called me while I was driving up here to tell me Julie died. It was a car accident last month. She said she has something of mine and she wants me to pick it up, but she wouldn’t tell me what it is.” Dean explained. Cas’ brow furrowed as he listened. It sounded strangely cryptic to him just as it had to Dean.

“So when you get back you’ll go get it?” He asked.

“No, she’s actually up here, in Vermont somewhere. She said she texted me her address.” Dean looked down at the phone and frowned. He recognized Kelly’s number, but there was a picture message attached. He sat down next to Cas, toeing his shoes off as he opened the text and waited for the picture to download. Cas leaned over his shoulder, praying it wasn’t pictures of Dean naked with this Julie woman. When the picture finally loaded they both gasped. Dean was the first to react.

“What. The. FUCK?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is shorter, I ended up splitting it in half so I could deal with the second part better. I hope you liked it and are imagining two sexy men dressed in their tuxes. Dean would seriously be the hottest James Bond to ever live! Cas could be his Pussy Galore!
> 
> I'm tired, ignore my ramblings. I hope you like the chapter! Let me know what you think!


	11. Everything Happens for a Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas return from the concert exhausted and ready to go to bed, but first Dean has text messages to check.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, here's the chapter I think you've all been waiting for. I hope you like it.

Dean practically threw the phone as he leapt off the bed.

“No, no, no, that’s not possible, this can’t be happening, no, no, no…” He was pacing the length of the room, from door to window and back again, his anxiety growing with each passing second. Undressing forgotten Cas turned to grab the phone up from where it had landed by the pillows. He turned it over and stared at the picture. Bright green eyes stared right back from within a perfect little cherub face.

“Dean.”

Dean was too busy pacing and wondering why the hell Kelly would try to play such a cruel prank on him. He was muttering to himself and pulling at his hair as he tried to recall every single moment of his relationship with Julie.

“Never, not once! Not fucking once Cas! I’m careful Goddamnit!”

Cas looked at the little girl once more time before setting the phone aside and getting up from the bed. He stepped into Dean’s path and grabbed the man by his arms, steering him back towards the bed. He pushed down on his shoulders until Dean was sitting again, then knelt down between his legs and looked into his eyes.

“I was careful Cas, I only slept with her twice cause I didn’t like it! I swear on everything that is holy…”

“Shhh, it’s ok. We’ll figure this out. Let’s start at the beginning.” Cas picked the phone up and read the message attached to the picture. 

“Ok, so this Kelly says the baby’s name is Grace Deanna, but they call her Gracie. She was born July fourth 2013. When did you break up with Julie?”

Dean scrubbed a hand down his face as he tried to remember.

“Uh, I met her at the end of 2011. We were both student teaching at the same school. We talked for a long time before she asked me out and she was nice so I figured I’d at least try, but I just couldn’t form any feelings for her. I only dated her for a couple of months in 2012. We broke up right before Christmas that year, after I overheard her telling Kelly she hoped I would propose. I…couldn’t. I had no feelings whatsoever for her.” He grabbed the front of Cas’ shirts, his eyes wide with a mixture of shock and fear.

“You believe me, right? I didn’t love her!” 

Cas nodded and placed his hands gently over Dean’s.

“Of course I believe you, and even if you had loved her, it’s ok. You’re allowed to have loved other people in the past Dean. It’s part of life.”

“But that’s just it! I didn’t love anyone before you! There were one or two I grew to care for, but no one I loved til you.”

Dean was scared. Fatherhood was something he expected to build up to, not something that would randomly be dropped in his lap on a hot summer night. Cas understood his fears. Hell, the man hadn’t exactly had the best roll model growing up and now he was expected to just welcome this little girl into his life? If he were in Dean’s place he wouldn’t be responding much better. Suddenly he was extremely glad he was gay and had never experimented with women. No surprises lurking in his own past.

“So when was the last time you slept with her?” He asked.

“Well hell…” Dean pursed his lips and stared at the floor as he tried to remember.

“I don’t know, maybe…October? November? It wasn’t enjoyable for me. I only did it the second time because she begged and I felt like a bad boyfriend withholding it from her.”

“And who supplied the condom?” Cas asked.

Dean blinked at what Cas was implying by that question.

“Oh, fuck me…”

“I think you should talk to this Kelly and see if little Gracie wasn’t deliberately created.” Cas held the phone up so Dean could see the child clearly.

“I’d do a DNA test to be certain but I’m fairly certain she’s yours. She looks just like you.”

Dean stared into eyes the same shade of green as his own. She looked just like he had when he was a baby. She was beautiful with pale blonde curls and rosy cheeks.

“Why would she just tell you now? Why not back when Julie learned she was pregnant?” Cas asked.

“Uh, it was sort of bad after we split. Julie sort of flipped out. She even stalked me for a while. I had to get a restraining order on her, but I swear I had no idea she was pregnant! And she kept calling me, for years! Trying to get me to get back together with her. She even had Kelly calling me. I wondered why Kelly would even bother! But neither of them told me about the baby. I had no idea!”

“And now Julie is dead. And what, Kelly decides to suddenly let you in on the whole thing?” Cas was angry on behalf of Dean. It was a cruel thing to deny the man knowledge that he even had a child.

“Kelly’s sick. She says she has MS.”

“And she can’t care for the child anymore.” Cas concluded. He wondered, had Kelly not gotten sick, would she have ever told Dean he was a father?

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” Dean asked, though Cas knew it was a general question, not actually directed at him.

“Dean, baby, I see this as a sign.” Cas began. Dean looked at him, a puzzled expression on his face as he waited for Cas to continue. 

“I’ve told you before that I believe everything happens for a reason. You coming into my life when you did, that was just the start of it. Now this is happening. You’re at a crossroads in your life right now, though you don’t realize it. Your father is dying, and just as he is about to exit your life, this child comes into it. She’s just at the beginning of hers, so full of happiness and innocence, something you were denied by your own father growing up. It was something I too was denied, so I know the pain you suffered to some extent. This here?” He held up the phone so Dean could see the little girl’s face again. “This here is your opportunity to be the father that your own dad couldn’t be. She’s lost her mother, just like you lost yours. She needs you babe. And…I think you need her too.”

Dean took the phone from Cas’ hand and stared at the picture for a long time.

“I can’t…I don’t know how to be a father. I can’t…do this alone!”

This was to Cas a sign for him as well. He loved this man. God, he loved him with every fiber of his being, and he wanted a family. It didn’t take a genius to see that the very thing he wanted most was being handed directly to him; a family. He took Dean’s face between his hands and leaned in to kiss him.

“You won’t be doing it alone.”

Dean dropped the phone to the bed and brought his hands up to cover Cas’.

“What are you saying here Cas?”

“I’m saying that I don’t believe this was a sign only for you. I think it was one for me too. Dean, I love you. You know where I stand on the idea of family. You know what I want, and you know I want it with you. I just think it’s being presented on a timetable that happens to be different from the one we had planned.”

He moved up to sit down next to Dean, letting out a sigh as the man wrapped his arms around him and buried his face against his neck.

“This is ironic, you know that?” Dean asked with a sigh.

Cas chuckled. “I know baby, I know.”

“She might not even be mine.” Dean knew the argument was invalid. The kid was his damn clone, plus something in his gut told him she was his.

“You don’t believe that.” Cas said. Dean sighed and pulled Cas closer.

“No, I don’t.”

“So tomorrow we’ll call Kelly and get the whole story.” Cas rubbed his nose against Dean’s cheek and pressed a soft kiss to his jaw.

“I don’t think I can sleep.” Dean complained.

Cas stood up suddenly, swinging a leg over both of Dean’s and straddling him.

“I think I can help with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like you all didn't see THAT one coming. Let me know what you all think. I hope you like it!
> 
> There's more intense stuff coming though.


	12. Uncle Sasquatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The following morning Cas and Dean call Kelly. They learn the reason behind why Julie did what she did, and Dean gets to hear his child's voice for the very first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say that tonight I'm VERY glad this chapter was already written because I am absolutely EXHAUSTED! I only got a quarter of my roof painted because we only had a 6 foot ladder to work with, and the paint for the roof, being that it's aluminum, is very heavy. A friend is coming in with a much bigger ladder. I'm so glad for that too! Idependence Day or not, I need to get the painting done. I might actually get my entire house painted before the weekend is over!
> 
> Ok, enough rambling. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Fluffy fluffiness. You might need to brush your teeth after all this sweetness!

Several rounds of invigorating sex was still not enough to tire Dean out so that he could sleep through the night. He tossed and turned, crying out more than a few times as the night wore on, the only thing bringing him any peace was being wrapped up in his lover’s arms and Cas’ soothing words. By the time the sun came up he couldn’t sleep anymore. He rose from the bed, careful not to wake Cas and went to sit in the chair by the window. That was where Cas found him still sitting two hours later.

 

“Babe?” Cas asked, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes.

“Here.” Dean replied quietly, his eyes still staring off at something Cas couldn’t see from his current position. He rose from the bed, padding over to his boyfriend. Dean loved the sight of Cas’ naked body. The initial shock of his piercings had long ago become objects of his desire and fantasies rather than things he worried about, but in this current moment his thoughts were on the child waiting for him up in Vermont.

“Are you ok?” Cas ran his hand through Dean’s hair and the man turned in his seat to wrap his arms around his waist. He laid his head against Cas’ abdomen, mindful of the piercing that sat in his bellybutton.

“Better cause you’re here.” Dean muttered. Cas chuckled, the sensation vibrating through the other man.

“I’ll always be here for you Dean.”

Cas pulled away and went to grab Dean’s phone. He sat down across from him in the other chair, scooting it closer and setting the phone on the table.

“Let’s call her. Put it on speakerphone, I have a couple of questions too.”

Dean nodded and after taking a shuddering breath he dialed Kelly’s number.

“Dean?” She picked up almost immediately.

“Hi.” He replied tightly.

“Am I on speakerphone?” She asked. He could hear her moving around, and he felt a strange tingle in his chest when he heard the squeal of a small child somewhere in the distance.

“You are. Don’t worry, I’m in the hotel. My boyfriend Cas is here with me. It’s just us.” 

“Hello Cas.” She greeted.

“Hello Kelly.” Cas replied.

“So. Boyfriend huh? You two been together long?”

“A couple of months, and he was with me when I opened your text last night. He knows what’s going on.” Dean said.

“And you’re ok with that Cas?” Kelly directed the question to him rather than Dean.

“I am. Dean and I have already discussed starting a family. This just came sooner than either of us thought it would.” Cas replied.

“After only a couple of months you’re talking about that? Pretty quick, wouldn’t you say?” There was something in her tone that told Dean she was thinking about her sister and his unwillingness to commit further to her.

“Cas is…the one, Kel. I told you back when I was dating Julie that it wasn’t serious. She’s the one that wanted more. We went over all of this years ago, you know that.”

She sighed heavily.

“Yeah, I know. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel my sister’s pain over your rejection.”

“May I ask, why did you wait until now to let Dean know he has a child?” Cas asked, his eyes meeting Dean’s over the top of the phone.

“That was Julie’s call. Had it been up to me I’d have called him up and told him the moment she first got morning sickness and I heard she was pregnant, but she made me swear not to say anything. She had this twisted notion that she could get Dean to come back to her, but she didn’t want the baby to be that reason. She wanted him to do it because he loved her. My sister wasn’t exactly stable mentally. Last year I managed to talk her into therapy and got her onto meds. That’s why the calls stopped Dean, she was doing better. She realized what she was doing was wrong and she decide to focus on Gracie. I told her though that if anything ever happened to her I was going to tell Gracie who her father was and call you to tell you too. I never expected something to actually happen though.”

Kelly’s voice caught and they heard her pull the phone away from her ear for a moment. When she came back her voice was shaky but clear.

“I was very careful Kelly. I only slept with her twice, and I never, ever had sex without a condom. Was this…did she do this on purpose?” Dean asked.

Kelly sighed again.

“She was sick Dean. Somewhere in her brain I think she panicked when you started to pull away. You’d only been dating a month or two when she called up to tell me she thought you might break up with her. We had a long talk about how she should act in a responsible relationship and how if she wanted you to stay she should treat you better, but I realized belatedly that she was up to something. When you broke up with her, it didn’t come as a surprised to me at all, but it devastated her. She was in love with you Dean. I never could figure out how you didn’t love her back.”

“I don’t easily form attachments to people Kelly. I tried with her, but I just couldn’t develop the kinds of feelings she wanted me to.” He said.

“But a few weeks with Cas and you did?” There was no hiding the bitterness in her voice now.

“Cas is different. And yes, I knew almost right away that I was in love with him.” He refused to let her make him feel guilty. Cas reached across the table to take his hand.

“I was going to wait until Christmas to ask him to marry me, but I don’t think I want to wait any longer.” Cas said suddenly. Dean’s head snapped up, green eyes searching Cas’ blue ones for any sign that he was making that up. Cas lifted his hand and kissed the back of it.

“Cas…” Dean’s voice caught and his lip began to tremble.

“Shitty proposal babe, I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, I have the ring already.” Cas offered a small smile. 

“Kelly.” Cas directed his attention back to the phone.

“Wow, never thought I’d get to hear a proposal. Especially not over the phone. That was a shitty one, I agree.” Kelly said with a small laugh.

“Yes, I realize that. I’ll have to make it up to him later. Are you wanting Dean to come get Gracie?”

“I never intended to keep her, she isn’t mine. I love her to pieces, she’s the sweetest kid in the world but seriously, ask Dean, I was never mother material. Plus my health is getting worse. It won’t be much longer before I’m unable to take care of her at all. I don’t want child services taking her when she has an entire family out there still.” She said.

“And…are you ok with mine and Dean’s relationship?” Cas asked as he kissed Dean’s hand for a second time.

“I knew he was bi when he started dating my sister. I don’t have a problem with it. If you guys make each other happy and you treat Gracie well, that’s what matters the most.” She replied.

“I just wanted to make sure. I’m on tour for another two weeks, but when it’s over we’d like to drive up and meet her.” 

“That would be fine. What exactly do you do?” She asked.

“I’m a concert cellist, but I’m actually getting ready to retire and begin on my teaching degree.” He replied.

“So, Dean’s going to support all of you?”

“He doesn’t need to, I have a substantial savings already, and I’ll be giving lessons as I play eight different instruments.” He told her.

“So, when will you be up this way?” She asked.

They spent another few minutes going over Cas’ schedule and setting a date to meet up. Dean was nervous, but Cas did not seem to be and that eased some of his worry.

“Would you like to talk to your daughter Dean?” Kelly asked just as he was ready to disconnect the call. He looked up at Cas who nodded excitedly.

“Sure.”

“Gracie, honey, come here. Guess who’s on the phone!” Kelly’s voice softened as she talked to the baby and it made Dean smile. He could hear Gracie babbling something about the phone.

“Tee phone?” The baby asked.

“Yes! Daddy’s on the phone! Do you want to talk to daddy?” Kelly was asking her.

“Daddy!” The little girl squealed and Dean nearly burst into tears at the sound of it.

“Hi princess!” He said, grinning at Cas through his tears.

“Daddy?” Gracie asked.

Dean’s voice caught and he couldn’t speak. He looked up at Cas for help.

“Yes sweetheart, your daddy is coming to see you. Are you happy about that?” Cas asked her.

“Happy!” The baby repeated. They could hear Kelly talking in the background before she took the phone back.

“And that’s about the extent of a conversation with a two year old. Her favorite show just came on and she heard the music. I guess we’ll see you guys in a couple of weeks.” She told them.

“Would you mind sending some more pictures?” Cas asked.

Kelly laughed softly. “Of course. You guys have a good day.”

“Bye Kelly.” Dean’s voice broke but he was able to speak again.

“Goodbye Kelly.” Cas said.

The line went dead and Cas pushed the phone aside. 

“You just had an entire phone conversation whilst naked.” Dean pointed out. Cas looked down at himself and then back up at him.

“So I did. I also did a shitty proposal whilst naked. I’m going to a shower and then we’re going to act like a couple of tourists, how does that sound?”

“Yeah. I’m…going to call Sam.” 

Cas understood Dean’s need to tell his brother. While Dean didn’t believe he was father material, Cas knew better. He had cared for Sam when their own father had been incapable, making sure he ate, went to school, knew he was safe and loved. And Sam had grown up to be a wonderful man. Cas stood up and bent down to kiss the top of Dean’s head before walking to the bathroom. Dean grabbed his phone and called his brother.

 

“Dean? You get there ok? You didn’t return any of my calls.” Sam sounded annoyed.

“Yeah, I got here just fine. Didn’t have time to call you til now. Uh, I need to talk to you about something and I need some legal advice.”

“Legal advice about what exactly?” Sam asked cautiously.

“Kelly called. Julie died.” Dean blurted.

“Oh. Shit, what happened?”

“Car accident. Her folks were in the car with her, her dad was driving and had a massive coronary. They all died.” Dean replied.

“Damn.” Sam sucked air in between his teeth and even a thousand miles away Dean could picture the grimace on his brother’s face.

“Julie was apparently pregnant when we broke up. It’s mine. A little girl.”

Sam was silent but Dean knew his brother. Sam was processing, reviewing the data from every angle, just like a typical lawyer.

“You’re sure it’s your kid?”

“Hang on, I’m forwarding you her picture.” Dean found Gracie’s picture and did exactly that. He heard Sam’s phone vibrate on the other end.

“Holy shit, she looks just like you!” Sam cried.

“I know. Uh, this is why I need a lawyer. What…what are my rights? I mean, Julie’s dead and Kelly can’t take care of her, she’s really sick. She wants me to take Gracie. I want to, but I also want to make sure this doesn’t backfire and burn me in the end.” Dean admitted.

“I’m not a family court lawyer, but…find out if your name is on the birth certificate, and get a DNA test done. If it proves you are her father it will make the claim for your parental rights rock solid. In the meantime I’ll see what I can find out about your parental rights.” Sam said.

“Yeah, Cas said the same thing about the DNA test.” Dean murmured. He was lost in thought about all of the legal hoops he might have to jump through.

“How did Cas take the news?” Sam asked.

“Bastard proposed. Butt naked and he fucking proposed to me. Won’t that be a story to tell the grandkids!” Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head. Maybe he would have to alter the story he told them to make grandpa at least have had his boxers on.

“Shit Dean, he proposed? That’s like…wow! He could have walked right then. I’m impressed. He really does love you.” There was awe and admiration in Sam’s voice that made Dean’s heart swell even further with love.

“You doubted he did?” 

“Actually no, not once.” Sam replied. There was sincerity in his voice that made Dean smile.

“You’re an uncle, Sammy. Uncle Sasquatch.” He teased.

“Holy fuck, I am!” 

Dean laughed at his brother’s reaction.

“Don’t tell anyone though, ok? I want to break the news myself. And don’t say anything to dad unless he really gets bad. When Kelly sends more pictures I’ll forward them to you, ok?”

“Yeah, sure thing…dad.”

Dean’s smile grew wider. He was a dad.

“I gotta go, I’ll text you later.”

“Absolutely.”

Dean hung up and set the phone on the table but his fingers were reaching for it a moment later when another text came through. He opened it to find another picture from Kelly. This time it downloaded quickly and he found himself looking at a grinning two year old, nose wrinkled up as she smiled brightly. She was absolutely beautiful.

When Cas came out of the bathroom with his towel draped low around his waist Dean jumped up to show him the picture. The man’s face lit up at the sight of the baby.

“She’s so beautiful!” Cas gushed.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Dean asked.

“You mean about us getting married? I was as serious as a heart attack. I love you Dean. I was planning to propose in a much more romantic way, not naked in a hotel room as we talked on the phone with a women I’ve never even met, but the time frame doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m sure now that I love you, just as I’ll be sure in December, and in ten years, and in fifty years. Dean, if there was such a thing as soulmates, I’m positive you’re mine. We’re just going to have to do things a little differently. I already told Ken and Oscar that I’m leaving the orchestra. They’re upset but Ken said he saw it coming. Says I haven’t been happy in a while. So instead of leaving after the next tour, I’ll just leave after this one. I won’t have to push back starting on my degree. I’ll start it in September like we planned, and maybe…we can get a house? I can dedicate a room to giving instrument lessons, and I’ll still play with the band. They’ll be glad that I’ll have more time to dedicate to writing music. Even if I don’t stay on with them, I’ll continue to write the music for them.”

Dean pulled Cas into his arms.

“Baby, I don’t want you to give everything up. You love to sing, and I don’t want to chain you down.”

“You’re not chaining me down Dean.” Cas said and Dean was surprised to hear that he sounded angry. “I have been doing tours for forty or more weeks every year for the last fourteen years. I did it in the beginning to escape my family, but I don’t have to run from them anymore. Plus, I’m tired. I told you that already. I’m physically and emotionally worn out. I want a home, a family, and goddamn it Dean, I want you!”

Dean kissed him hard. “Ok.”

“Ok? That’s all you have to say?” 

Dean rolled his eyes but the smile on his lips reflected how much he loved and adored the man he was holding.

“You didn’t ask properly, so all you get is an ok.”

Cas thumped him hard in the chest but he couldn’t stifle his laugh.

“Asshole.”

Dean kissed his cheek. “Yes, but I’m your asshole.”

“Yes, yes you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adorable idiots, the both of them. Only Cas would propose on the spot, butt freaking naked, lol. I had to do it though. Leave a comment, I love talking with you guys! I will be painting tomorrow (Lord help me, my back is already killing me and I can barely lift my arms, but I must continue on!), but I will be checking to see what you all have to say. I love you guys, you making writing worthwhile!


	13. Dean Makes New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The concert that night is a nice one, and Dean makes a new friend during it. He also has the displeasure of meeting someone from Cas' past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so unbelievably sore and exhausted right now. The roof is painted. The entire house is painted. I thought I would put up this chapter before I head over to the pool to relax for an hour or so. Here's to hoping I do not get sunburn on top of everything else. I am so covered in paint it's ridiculous. Showering BEFORE I get in the pool of course! I hope it's empty so I don't have to deal with obnoxious little kids. My back aches so bad. 
> 
> I hope you guys like this chapter. So far this is one I liked writing A LOT. I had fun with it and was trying to show off Dean's amiable personality. I like this side of Dean, and Cas does too.
> 
> Also, the ring that Cas picked out? With the Celtic knot? It's based on my own tattoos. I have a Celtic knot on my shoulder.
> 
> And I hope you like how Dean put Dick in his place.

The tour of the city was nice, though Cas had decided that Dean needed a ring immediately.

“What about the one you said you ordered? Did you lie?” Dean asked, frowning.

Cas pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture on it. Shoving it in Dean’s face he asked:

“Does that look like I was lying?”

The picture was of a silver band with two diamonds on the top. Cas flicked to a second picture that showed the inscription. _‘You are the beating of my heart’_ . 

“Cas…” For the second time that day Dean wanted to cry.

“It’s in my dresser at home. I was hoping to propose at Christmas, to do it right. But any way I do it, it’s right as long as it’s with you Dean. You’re the only part of the equation that matters to me.” Cas was holding his hand and he pulled on Dean’s to make him stop walking. 

“I love you Cas, more than anything. Of course I’ll marry you, and we’ll get the rest of this right, ok?” Dean pulled Cas against him and kissed him. Somewhere, someone wolf whistled. Cas grinned, looking around but couldn’t find who had done it.

“Come on, let’s go in there.” He pointed at a jewelry store further up the street. Dean followed him happily.

They spent the better part of an hour perusing the cases until Cas spotted one that caught his attention.

“Dean, look, the design is the same as my tattoo.” Cas pointed to one on his arm, a small Celtic knot he’d had added in honor of his Welsh and Irish heritage twelve years earlier. If he used the other ring as the actual wedding ring the two would actually look like a set. Dean joined him and looked at the ring in question. His face broke out in a grin.

“I like that one.”

Cas motioned to the jeweler to show them the ring. He tried it on Dean’s finger, expecting it to be a tight fit, but to his delight it fit perfectly. 

“You know, I don’t need to have two engagement rings.” Dean pointed out as Cas pulled out his wallet. He shut his mouth when Cas leveled him with an icy glare.

“Or…maybe I do.” He muttered under his breath as he wandered further down the cases to look at other rings. His eyes kept returning to the ring on his own finger. Never had he thought he’d be the one sporting an engagement ring. After paying, Cas joined him.

“What are you looking at?” He asked, his hand settling on Dean’s lower back as he leaned over a case to see the jewelry inside.

“What are we doing about names?” Dean asked.

“I actually thought about this. My family name…it’s not one that I care to continue. So…I’d like to take yours, even though I asked you to marry me.” Cas replied. He stood up straight and looked Dean in the eye.

“I like that.” Dean took his hand, twining their fingers together.

“Your family has done more to make me feel welcome and loved in the last couple of months than mine did my entire life. I’d rather lay my claim to them.” Cas told him. Dean smiled and kissed the corner of his mouth. 

“I understand. It’ll make it easier for Gracie too. I assume I’ll have to change her last name too.”

“We’ll have to ask.” 

They left the store and walked down the street hand in hand.

“Hey, let’s go see the Liberty Bell.” Cas suggested.

Dean checked the time on his phone.

“Alright, but we have to be back at the hotel by five so you can get ready.”

“Yes dear.” Cas teased. Dean smiled and shook his head.

“Whatever.”

They ended up doing a late lunch at a small restaurant near the bell before doing the tour. When it was over they headed back to the hotel. Dean showered while Cas got dressed once more in his tux. While he waited for Dean to get ready he pulled Gracie’s pictures up on the phone. She really was a beautiful child. And she was going to be his daughter. He was still in a bit of shock over that, but the shock was overridden by his excitement. His thoughts turned to his own family. Martin Novak had been a poor excuse for a father and his mom Naomi he believed had just been brainwashed by his father’s beliefs. She had been strict but not cruel in the way his father had been. In moments like this he preferred to think that she would be proud of him for his success, and for finding the person he truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He was starting the family he had dreamed about for years and his life was about to take him in a completely new but desperately wanted direction and he wondered what she would think knowing she would be a grandmother.

“What are you thinking so hard about over there?” Dean asked, emerging from the bathroom completely dressed in his tux.

“I was thinking about my mom. Wondering if she’d be proud of me or not.” Cas sighed.

“She’d be a fool not to be.” Dean adjusted his cuffs and buttoned his jacket.

“I don’t know if my brothers or my sister have kids or not. Pretty shitty, right? I don’t know if I have any nieces or nephews.” Cas frowned as he thought about it.

“Can you find them? It’s been ages. Maybe they’ve changed.” Dean walked over to him and took Cas’ face between his hands.

“No matter what, you have family.” He said as he pressed his lips to Cas’. Cas smiled.

“Yeah, and I love this family.”

“Wait til Ellen finds out. I suggest earplugs. And football gear, she has a wicked right hook.” Dean smiled as he lowered his hands. Cas caught his left hand and lifted it to inspect the ring.

“I like this a lot.”

“I would hope so, you picked it out.” Dean teased.

“Send a pic to Sam.” Cas told him.

“Ok. Hey, take a picture of me in my tux.”

Cas took the phone and snapped a couple of pictures, including one with Dean’s left hand holding the lapel of his jacket, his ring on clear display. Dean took the phone back and shot the last picture off to Sam. It didn’t take long before his brother was texting back.

Sam: Looking sharp there bro. Jess says you look dapper.

Dean snorted and showed Cas the text.

“You do look dapper babe. Rather debonair.”

Dean texted his brother back.

Dean: Did you notice anything in the picture?

Sam: You cut your hair?

Dean: No dummy, look at my hand.

Sam: Shit! He got you a ring? This is official?

Dean: Yep. He actually got me two but he didn’t bring the first one with because he was originally planning to propose at Christmas, so I guess that one will be my wedding ring. I have to talk about that to him.

Sam: Congratulations. I’m so happy for you guys. Can I tell Jess? She’s sitting right here needling me because of my reaction. We’re with dad, but he’s asleep right now.

Dean: Yeah, you can tell her, but let me tell everyone else. Show dad the pic too.

It was a few minutes before Sam responded.

Sam: Dad’s awake. I showed him and he spotted the ring right away. He’s happy. He’s having a pretty good day today.

Dean: Good, I’m glad to hear that. I am hoping he can meet Gracie when we get back.

Sam: You should call him and tell him. It might give him something to hang on a little longer for.

Dean: Keep me updated.

Sam: I sure will. You guys going out tonight?

Dean: On our way to another concert. Tomorrow we head to NYC.

Sam: Cool, pick me up some souvenirs.

Dean: Will do. Catch you later Sammy.

Sam: You too Dean.

Dean put his phone on vibrate and tucked it into his jacket pocket before following Cas out of the room. They made their way to the museum where the concert was being held and Dean found his way to his assigned seat. He had a good view of the stage and he smiled when he saw Cas walking out with his cello. Once he was seated and had the instrument positioned between his legs he looked up, scanning the crowd until he found Dean. He smiled and lifted a hand, pressing two fingers to his lips. Dean smiled and did the same. 

“Are you part of the museum staff?” A woman to Dean’s right asked suddenly. He looked over to see an attractive blonde smiling politely at him.

“Oh, uh, no. I’m with the orchestra. My fiancé is performing tonight.” He replied.

“Oh, how wonderful!” Her eyes scanned the musicians on the stage. “Which one is she?” 

There were a handful of women in the orchestra and he could almost imagine that the woman was studying them to try and figure out which one he was with. He pointed at Cas.

“The man there on the cello is my fiancé.” 

The woman smiled even wider and nodded. “He’s handsome.”

“Yes he is.” He smiled back. She glanced at his ring.

“That’s lovely, did he pick that out?”

They got into a discussion about the rings Cas had bought while they waited for the event to start and by the end they were laughing and discussing how her husband had proposed. 

“I’m not usually so rude. My name is Jessica.” She offered he hand and he shook it.

“Dean.” 

“It’s nice to meet you Dean.”

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out. His face lit up when he saw it was from Kelly and there was a picture attached. It was a very wet but happy Gracie sitting in the bathtub covered in bubbles. He thought his heart might burst at the sight of his daughter's smile.

“Is that your baby?” Jessica asked and Dean turned to see her looking at his phone screen with a soft smile.

“Yeah, her name’s Gracie.” 

“She’s beautiful. She’s lucky to have two dads that love her. All kids deserve to be loved. I have two kids and they’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them in for the world.” Jessica reached into her purse and pulled out her own phone. She pulled up pictures of two kids and Dean smiled wide looking at the picture.

“Wow, they’re gorgeous. You and your husband must be very proud.”

“We are.” She beamed.

The lights flickered and a man stepped out onto a small stage to the right. When the room fell silent he began talking. He looked vaguely familiar and Dean wondered if perhaps he had met the man the night before. He scanned the crowd which was pretty large for the revealing of a statue and noticed a handful of familiar faces. The man’s voice was deep and commanding as he explained why they were all there. The actual revealing was pretty anticlimactic and he clapped along with everyone else. When the orchestra began to play though his eyes were riveted to the stage.

“They’re fantastic.” Jessica whispered. Her eyes were on the musicians too.

“They really are. Cas plays eight different instruments.” He couldn’t help but brag.

“That’s wonderful! Is he going to teach your little girl how to play?” She asked.

“I hope so. I can play guitar so I’m hoping she has an ear for it. I heard that children that can pick up on music generally have an easier time in school.” 

She nodded. “I heard that too. Expose her to all types, and languages too.”

“Oh, hadn’t thought of that one. I only speak English. Maybe I’ll learn with her.”

They ended up chatting quietly as they listened to the music and Dean accepted any and all advice she offered him. When the performance was over he clapped harder than anyone else and Jessica joined him. 

“Want to meet him?” He asked excitedly when he saw Cas making his way over to them.

“Absolutely.” She nodded. 

When Cas approached his eyes widened.

“Hey babe, that was amazing.”

“Thank you.” Cas smiled as Dean kissed his cheek.

“Cas, this is Jessica. Jessica, Cas. We’ve been talking about the kids and some other things.” Dean told him. Cas raised an eyebrow and smiled, offering his hand to the woman.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Jessica.” 

She smiled back as she took his hand. “Same. Your little girl is absolutely beautiful.” 

Cas smiled wider. “She really is, isn’t she?”

The man that had given the speech walked over, wrapping his arm around Jessica’s waist.

“Eric, I’ve made a new friend, his name is Dean. Dean, Cas, this is my husband Eric.” Jessica said.

Dean smiled and shook the man’s hand. “Nice to meet you man.”

“Likewise. Are you associated with the museum?” Eric asked.

“No baby, he’s engaged to Cas and Cas is part of the orchestra.” Jessica explained. Eric nodded looking at Cas.

“You guys are good.”

Cas accepted the compliment graciously. “Thank you Eric.”

“Eric, they have the most beautiful little girl. Show him Dean.” Jessica said. Dean smiled wide as he pulled his phone back out and pulled up the newest picture. He showed it to Cas first who nearly melted at the sight of it before handing it over to Jessica who was showing it to her husband.

“She’s gonna be a looker. You best have that shotgun ready.” Eric said, winking. Dean and Cas both laughed.

“A future investment for sure.” Cas grinned. 

“Dean, I’m putting my number in your phone. I hope we can stay friends, maybe get together with the kids sometime.” Jessica typed her number into his phone before handing it over.

“Sure thing. If you’re ever in Kansas let me know. I’ll do a barbecue and the kids can play.” He told her, accepting his phone back.

“Let me know when the wedding is too, we’ll send a gift.” She said.

They talked for a few more minutes before Eric was called away and Jessica followed. Once they were out of earshot Cas started laughing.

“What the hell is so funny?” Dean asked.

“Oh babe, your naivety is adorable. Do you have any idea who your new BFF is?” Cas was still trying to catch his breath but he kept breaking down again each time he looked up at the confused look on Dean’s face.

“Who, Jessica?”

“Yes! Jessica! As in Jessica Simpson? You’re telling me you didn’t recognize her? Or her husband? Do you watch football at all?” Cas had pulled Dean away so their conversation would not be overheard.

Dean looked back to where he saw Eric and Jessica posing nearby for pictures. Eric did look familiar…

“He plays football?”

Cas shook his head. “How is it I’m the gay one? Seriously? That’s Eric Johnson.”

The name finally clicked for Dean and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. 

“Fuck!”

Cas snorted. “Yeah. And you just invited him and his wife, a famous pop singer over for a barbecue.”

Dean covered his gaping mouth with one hand and stared hard at his fiancé.

“I did, didn’t I?”

“It’s good, I’m sure they get tired of people falling over themselves around them. You acted like a normal person and I’m sure that was refreshing. Who knows? You might end up being good friends with her. We should invite them to the wedding.” Cas told him as he led him across the museum lobby.

“I can’t believe I spent two hours chatting with a celebrity.” Dean shook his head, still in shock.

“You talked to a couple last night about pie. Tonight you talked about babies with another parent. People just find you easy to talk to sweetheart. You’re very likeable.” Cas put an arm around his waist and they walked towards a refreshment table.

“Is that why you talked to me the first time?” Dean asked.

“No, I was trying to keep my obnoxious cousin from tormenting the hottest guy I had ever laid eyes on, but you turned out to be very easy to talk to.” Cas gave him a squeeze before releasing him and picking up two glasses of champagne from the table.

“Is this all they ever serve at these things?” Dean asked with a frown as Cas handed one over.

“Most of the time, yes. Once in a while they’ll serve wine.” Cas sipped at his drink and looked around.

“What time do we have to check out by tomorrow?” Dean asked.

“Eleven.” Cas replied. 

Dean noticed when Cas tensed and the man’s eyes narrowed.

“Cas?”

Cas place a hand on his arm. “Don’t believe anything he says.” 

“Who? What?” Dean looked up to see a man approaching them. He was handsome with a rather arrogant flair, and he was walking directly towards them.

“Castiel, it’s been ages, how have you been?” The man flashed a smile that revealed a set of perfect, pearl white teeth. They reminded Dean of shark teeth.

“I’m fine Dick, if you’ll excuse us…” He tried to step around the man but Dick moved to block him.

“Who’s this fine looking gentleman with you?”

Cas’ grip on his arm was almost painful but Dean remained calm.

“My name is Dean, and you are?”

Dick looked him up and down, eyes lingering on the ring on Dean’s hand before his eyes shot over to Cas, the cocky smile gone now. His gaze lingered briefly before he turned his attention back to Dean. The new smile on his face was almost predatory now.

“Dick Roman, CEO of Roman Enterprises. I’m…an old friend of Castiel’s.”

The tone of the man’s voice said he was anything but an old friend. Dean wasn’t stupid, he was standing face to face with one of Cas’ exes, or at the very least, one of his one night stands. He put on his warmest smile, deciding to fight fire with fire.

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Cas’ fiancé. It’s nice to meet more of his friends.” He flashed the man his best smile, aware that Cas was watching him closely, a look of amused interest on his face.

“Fiancé? Well…congratulations. How long have you been together?” Dean had switched his glass to his left hand which he was holding at chest height, putting the ring on display. Dick was practically glaring at the small piece of metal.

“Long enough that I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him.” Cas responded. Dick’s glare was turned on him but Cas kept his cool. Dean stepped closer, putting an arm around Cas’ waist.

“I can’t wait to make it official.” He placed a tender kiss at Cas’ temple, smiling to himself when Cas leaned into it.

“That’s wonderful news. I wish you all the happiness in the world. It’s nice to see you finally settling down Cas. After your years as a playboy it’s good to see you finding someone that accepts you.”

Dean recognized Dick’s attempt to raise his hackles and he deliberately ignored it.

“Oh, I knew how Cas used to be, but he tells me I’m the best thing to ever happen to him. He’s absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me. We’re very happy.”

Dean was afraid Dick’s head might explode with the way he was glaring at Cas. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to find another text from Kelly, and another picture attached.

“If you’ll excuse us, we just got a text about our daughter. It was very nice meeting you Dick.” Dean pulled Cas into a corner, ignoring the look of fury on Dick’s face.

“You are fabulous babe. I’m sorry about him.” Cas kissed Dean’s cheek as he opened the text and waited for the picture to download.

“Eh, he’s just an asshole. Did you actually date him?” Dean asked.

“It wasn’t dating.” Cas wouldn’t give any further explanation and Dean didn’t want one. 

“Oh, look!” He exclaimed when the picture appeared. Gracie was tucked into her bed, cheeks rosy, her eyes closed as she slept. She looked like a tiny cherub. Cas smiled and touched the screen.

“She’s so beautiful. I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Me either. I think we’re going to be good dads. We know the hell we went through growing up and we don’t want to repeat that. She’s going to be a happy child if it’s the last thing I do.” Dean was determined to make his daughter’s life better than anything he or Cas had endured.

“She’s going to be so spoiled.” Cas laughed.

“Yes she is.” Dean agreed, grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have to think that Dean isn't going to recognize her because he's not into pop music, but Cas sure knew who she was! Just imagine the other people Dean meets at these functions!


	14. Daddy's Little Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas finally meet Gracie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is when Dean and Cas finally get to meet their daughter. It's sweet.

The rest of the tour was long and Dean was getting antsy. He was dying to get to Vermont and meet Gracie. Kelly had sent pictures to him every day, sometimes six or seven times a day. He forwarded every single picture to Sam who gushed over how adorable his niece was. John was holding steady but Sam had told him anyway about Gracie. The man was more determined than ever to stick around long enough to meet her.

Every concert Dean attended, he made new friends. Cas was amazed by the man’s ability to talk to people and his ease at conversation. People were drawn to the man and Cas couldn’t say he blamed them. Dean burned bright as the sun and people just wanted to be around that. They decided after the last concert to politely excuse themselves and leave early for Vermont. They split the driving, arriving in Vermont earlier than they had first anticipated, so they headed to their hotel first.

The plan was to visit Kelly each day for at least a week until Gracie was comfortable before they decided to take her with them. And the day they had set aside to meet their daughter was one of the most nerve wracking either man had ever experienced. Dean had opted to wear a plain tee shirt and jeans while Cas opted for a button down with jeans. He’d also left out his lip piercing. Dean understood that his fiancé wanted to make a good impression on Kelly. What Cas didn’t know yet was that Kelly was sporting a good number of tattoos herself. As they climbed the steps to Kelly’s house they were both shaking. After taking a deep breath Dean rang the bell.

It was over a minute before the door opened and a tall man peered out.

“Ray?” Dean smiled at the man. He smiled back.

“Hey Dean, long time no see.” Kelly’s husband opened the door wider and looked at Cas.

“This is your partner?”

“Yes, this is Cas, my fiancé.” Dean put a hand on Cas’ back for reassurance.

“Well come on in guys.” Ray stepped aside to let them in.

“Kelly’s in the kitchen making lunch. Come on.” He led the men through the house to the kitchen. A woman with long blonde hair drawn back in a braid was sitting at the kitchen table with several packages of lunchmeat and a loaf of bread. She looked up when they walked in.

“Hi Dean.” She greeted. Her eyes shifted over to the man at his side.

“And you must be Cas.” 

Cas smiled politely and nodded.

“Have a seat guys.”

They sat down across from her and watched as she prepared a small plate with half a sandwich and some grapes. Her movement were slow and Dean could tell she was concentrating on her actions. Once the plate was prepared she looked up at Ray.

“Wake her up?”

He nodded and left the room. Her eyes fell on the two men in front of her.

“I’m sorry I broke it to you the way I did but I really didn’t have very many options, and I was afraid you’d hang up on me again.” 

“It’s alright. I’m just glad you told me at all.” Dean said.

“Are you really?” She was skeptical and he didn’t doubt her.

“I would have liked to have known in the beginning. I’m pissed that neither you nor Julie were honest and upfront once she knew she was pregnant. I feel like I’ve missed a lot.” Dean told her, not bothering to hide his hurt.

“I know. Like I said, my sister and I were not in agreement on that. I told her to call you the moment she took the first test and it came back positive, but she didn’t want to tell you unless you agreed to come back to her. I couldn’t continue to lie though, not now, not when Gracie needs a parent that will love her unconditionally. I love her, but I’m her aunt. It’s not exactly the same.” She sighed and shook her head.

“So much I wish we could have done differently.”

“Me too.” Dean reached under the table to take Cas’ hand.

Kelly looked past them, smiling as Ray reappeared. He held a sleepy baby in his arms. Dean and Cas both turned to watch him walk into the room.

“Look who’s here Gracie! It’s daddy!” Kelly exclaimed. Gracie lifted her head from her uncle’s shoulder to look at the two men. Her gaze was cautious, guarded. Neither of them blamed her.

“I’ve been showing her pictures of you Dean. Jules had a few from your time together and I thought it would be a good idea to get her used to your face before I just sent her off with you.” She explained.

“No, that makes perfect sense. Did you get the one I sent the other day? Of me and Cas?” He asked.

“I did, and that’s her favorite one to look at.” 

“Daddy?” Gracie was staring hard at Dean. He looked up at the little girl and smiled.

“Hi princess.”

Tentatively she smiled back.

Ray set her down in her high chair at the end of the table and Kelly placed her plate in front of her. Gracie rubbed at her eyes and nose before looking down at the food. She grabbed a grape and popped it in her mouth.

“Is that good?” Dean asked softly. She smiled and nodded.

“S’ nummy!” She declared before flashing him a mouthful of tiny white teeth. Her little nose scrunched up as she smiled making both of them laugh. Cas was closer to her and when one of her grapes tried to roll out of her grasp he caught it and held it up.

“Did you lose this?” He asked, his tone gentler than anything Dean had ever heard him use before. Gracie nodded and reached out for it. Cas placed it into her chubby little hand.

“She’s not very shy so I think she’ll warm up to you both pretty quick. And she’s a charmer. People are drawn to her.” Ray said, taking a seat next to his wife.

“Sounds like someone I know.” Cas shot a wry look at his fiancé who just grinned and shrugged.

“Dean was always friendly.” Kelly agreed.

“So I take it you’re teaching then?” Ray asked him.

“Yes, high school English.” Dean replied.

“Glutton for punishment if you ask me.” Kelly laughed.

“I handle them just fine.” Dean said.

“Kelly said you’re in an orchestra? How on earth did you two meet?” Ray asked Cas.

“We met at a music fest through mutual friends. His brother’s girlfriend is friends with my cousin, and we both happened to tag along that day. We just hit it off right away.” Cas replied.

“You said something about getting your degree. What are you planning to study?” Kelly asked.

“I am considering a double major, music appreciation and history. If I can’t find work with one, I’ll have the other to fall back on. Plus I’m planning to give personal lessons for several instruments.”

“You’ll teach Gracie to play something, right?” She asked.

“Absolutely. Dean and I both play guitar so she’ll be exposed to music.”

Kelly made them both sandwiches and they talked about Gracie and her needs. She had Ray fetch the baby’s records and as Dean looked at the birth certificate he was surprised to see that he had not only been listed as the father but Gracie actually had his last name. The folder contained her medical records, her social security card, shot records, a list of allergies, and insurance documents. As Dean read over it he gasped.

“Kelly, Jules had life insurance?!”

Kelly nodded. “She did.”

Dean nudge Cas who was playing peek a boo with Gracie and pointed to the beneficiaries. It was Dean and Gracie that were listed.

“What?” Cas took the forms and read them. His head shot up, blue eyes wide and eyebrows risen nearly to his hairline when he was finished.

“Why weren’t you named beneficiary?”

“My sister knew my health was deteriorating and that Gracie would need to be taken care of. I told her when she started the policy to list Dean so that if anything happened to her, he would have the money to take care of Gracie. Have your lawyer submit the claim if you like.”

“I think you should fax all of this to Sam.” Cas told him. Dean nodded.

“Sam? As in your brother Sam?” Kelly asked.

Dean nodded. “He’s a lawyer. 

“Good, is he going to handle the guardianship and adoption?” She asked.

“He is recommending a family lawyer for that.” 

“Well, I spoke to the courthouse already. It’s a simple document signing. We can go down tomorrow and take care of it. When were you planning to leave?” Her eyes went to the child who was trying to engage Cas in a new game of peek a boo and Dean knew she was going to miss Gracie terribly.

“We were thinking of staying at least a week, so she can get used to us. It’s going to be traumatizing to take her and we want to make it the least painful that we can.” Cas explained.

“I appreciate that. I have been packing some of her stuff. I don’t know how much room you have in your car. Are you still driving the Impala, Dean?”

Dean grinned and nodded. “Of course I am. That’s what I drove up here too. I guess we can rent a truck to bring her stuff back.”

“Where are you living? Are you still in Kansas?” She asked.

“Yes, still in Kansas.. Sam and I have an apartment, but he’s planning to move in with his girlfriend, and Cas’ roommate is planning to do the same with his girlfriend, so we’re going to invest in a house, somewhere safe for our family.” Dean replied. Kelly smiled and nodded.

“That’s good. And you still have family around?” 

“If by family you mean Ellen and Bobby, then yes. Plus the rest of the gang. You won’t have to worry about Gracie, she’s going to be loved.” Dean smiled at Cas who smiled right back.

“I had no doubt of that, you’re a good man Dean. I just don’t want you jumping into this blindly and then decide six months from now that you aren’t ready to be a parent.”

“That’s never going to happen, Kel. I don’t abandon my family. Hell, my dad is dying of cancer right now and I still let him back into my life. There’s plenty of room for my daughter.” He said firmly.

Kelly got to her feet. Ray was immediately at her side handing her a cane.

“I have medicine I need to take. Ray and I will give you guys a few minutes alone. If you want to meet us in the living room when she’s done eating, that’s where we’ll be.”

Dean watched her leave. Ray hovered as she moved slowly out of the room. Truthfully he’d never harbored any ill will towards Kelly, only towards Julie. Kelly had only been trying to protect her sister, just as he had spent years trying to protect Sam, even when his brother made stupid mistakes. He hated that she had to go through this at all. When they were alone he turned to see Cas playing with Gracie again. She was showing him her sandwich and he was complimenting her on it as he tried to get her to eat it. She was laughing, all rosy cheeks and tiny white teeth. He got up, moving around to the other side of the table so he could be nearer to her. She turned to look at him. It was slightly unnerving to see his own green eyes staring back at him, but then she smiled.

“I ha nummy!” She declared and thrust her sandwich out at him.

“I see that. Is it good?” He asked.

She held the sandwich up, studying it before she bit off a piece of meat from the end. As she chewed she nodded.

“Nummy!” 

It took longer than just ten minutes to get the toddler to finish half of her sandwich but she did, and Cas got her to eat the grapes. When she was finished Dean found a washcloth next to the sink and he used that to wash her face and hands. She held her arms out to Cas and he scooped her up.

‘Uh uh princess.” He told her when she reached up to touch his eyebrow ring. He caught her tiny hand and pretended to nibble on it which made her burst into giggles. 

“She’s so perfect Dean.” Cas had tears in his eyes and Dean leaned in to kiss his cheek. Gracie whined and tried to push him away but he took her tiny fist and kissed it. She looked at her hand where he had just kissed it before holding it out to him again.

“More kisses?” He asked. She smiled and nodded. He peppered her tiny hand with kisses causing her to giggle. When she stopped she reached out for him and he happily took her.

“Cas, we have a family, I can’t believe this!” Dean said softly as they made their way to the living room.

“It’s perfect and beautiful. You’re perfect and beautiful.” Cas told him. Dean blushed and grinned. 

In the living room they found Kelly sitting in an armchair watching something on the television. Ray was nowhere to be seen.

“How did lunch go?” She asked.

“She ate most of her food.” Cas said.

“That’s good. She has her stubborn days. Can’t imagine a two year old that doesn’t though.” She laughed.

Dean sat on the couch and Gracie plopped down in his lap. Cas sat down next to him and put his arm across the back of the couch. The little girl crawled into his lap and thumped her head against his chest making him grunt.

“She didn’t…” Dean bit his lower lip and hoped Cas knew what he meant.

“No babe, she’s fine.” Cas said.

“Despite her name, she is still a baby and therefore very clumsy.” Kelly said.

“It’s alright. Couldn’t be any worse than Sam was as a baby.” Dean laughed. Gracie reached out to pat his cheek and he leaned down to rub his nose against hers. She squealed happily.

“That’s your daddy, Gracie. Remember your picture?” Kelly was holding out her phone to the little girl and she took it. The picture was of Cas and Dean in New York City. They were dressed in their tuxes, standing arm in arm and smiling for the camera. Ken had taken the picture for them.

“Daddy?” Gracie touched Dean’s face in the picture before looking up at him.

“That’s right, I’m…your daddy.” Dean smiled at his daughter and reached out to smooth a lock of curly hair away from her eye.

The next hour the two men spent playing with Gracie. She babbled as Dean read to her and when she became fussy Cas held her close and rocked her. She ended up falling asleep in his arms.

“Wow. Do you have a lot of experience with kids?” Kelly asked him. He was still sitting on the couch with the baby tucked into the crook of his arm. Dean had his arm around Cas’ shoulder, his other hand resting on the man’s knee as he watched his daughter sleep.

“Not as much as I would have liked. But I love kids and they seem to be naturally drawn to me. I babysat a bit as a teenager for members of the church and I always enjoyed it.” Cas replied.

“Have you decided what she’s going to call you?”

Cas looked up at Dean who shrugged. 

“Not really, but we’ll figure it out. I…don’t want her calling me by my name.”

“How about papa?” Dean asked. Cas mulled that over for a moment.

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be bad. My mother’s Russian and she called her father papa. I could handle that.”

Cas didn’t want to put her in her bed and Kelly didn’t make him. When Gracie woke from her nap she was cranky but he quickly soothed her. Kelly sat back and let them care for her niece. She invited them to stay for dinner and let them help afterwards with clean up and getting Gracie ready for bed. Dean loved reading to her and watching her get animated as she looked at the pictures until her eyes drooped too much to keep open and she drifted off. Once she was asleep they made plans the next day to return and repeat it all over again.

On Wednesday Kelly handed them a diaper bag and the stroller and told them to take Gracie somewhere fun. They had already invested in a car seat even though Kelly had one already. They both knew they’d need a second one anyway. With Gracie in tow, they headed to the zoo.

Keeping up with a two year old was exhausting but totally worth it. She wanted to walk and held on tightly to Dean’s hand as they made their way through the zoo. When her little legs got tired he carried her for a while before Cas took over. They made it about a third of the way through the exhibits before her little head came to rest against her papa’s shoulder and she became a dead weight in his arms.

“She’s asleep, isn’t she?” Cas asked as they stood outside the zebra enclosure.

“Out like a light.” Dean confirmed. He pulled out his phone for the millionth time that day and snapped a picture. He sent it to Sam right away like he did with every picture he took. Cas moved her to the stroller and laid her down. 

“I need to sit for a bit, my legs are killing me.” He told Dean.

“Alright babe, let’s find a café.” 

They found one of the zoo restaurants and opted to sit inside where it was air conditioned.

“How are we going to do this when we get home?” Dean asked as they ate the lunch they had packed.

“What do you mean? Are you referring to living arrangements?” 

Dean nodded. “Well, yeah. And what are we doing about child care?”

“One bridge at a time Dean. As for living arrangements, well, Sam texted me last night. He officially moved in with Jess. He cleared out his room and painted it purple, for Gracie. I told Balthazar what’s going on and he says it works perfectly for him too because he’s finally proposing. I’ll continue to pay my portion of the rent until the lease is up in February, and then he’s moving out too. That will give us a few months to find a house we like. I can leave all my crap in the apartment until we close on a house.”

Dean gaped at him. “Sam…moved out?”

He and his brother had never lived apart.

“Yes babe. He’s talking about proposing to Jess sometime soon. It’s going to be just you, me, and Gracie.” 

Dean looked at his fiancé and felt an overwhelming surge of love for the man. To feel at all was a tremendous reward but to feel this strongly was the most amazing feeling in the world.

“I’ll start looking the moment we get home.” He promised. Cas smiled and reached over to take his hand. They watched their daughter sleep as they finished their own food. Life was just about perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I hope you liked this chapter. She's cute and has no fear of strangers. Could be a bad thing, lol. In this case she warms right up to them both. Leave me a comment, let me know what you think. Love you guys!


	15. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas finally make it home with Gracie, and she gets to meet some of the most important people in her dads' lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. They're home after a 1,000+ mile drive with a cranky 2 year old, bless their hearts.

Dean had, that Tuesday not only faxed copies of every document Kelly had given him directly to Sam he also stuck them in a priority envelope and overnighted them. When Saturday rolled around they were ready to finally head home. They had arranged for a moving company to take all of Gracie’s things back to the apartment where Sam would be waiting to receive them. All that was left now was for them to load themselves into the Impala and go home. Kelly kissed Gracie and tried hard not to let the little girl see her cry.

“You’re going home now with daddy and papa, ok? They love you sweetheart. You be a good girl. I love you.” She let the toddler cling to her a little longer before handing her over to Cas to buckle her into her car seat. Ray came to say goodbye, leaning over the child in her seat and giving her a tender kiss on the forehead.

“Call me if you have any questions, anything at all.” Kelly was telling them as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“We definitely will, and we’ll send pictures and videos.” Cas told her.

“You better, and come back to visit me!”

“We will!” Dean promised.

The trip home took three times as long with a cranky toddler. Stops were frequent and Cas had to constantly find new and interesting ways to entertain the child when she was awake. They ended up stopping once in Pennsylvania to stay the night and once in Indiana before they finally arrived home. When they pulled up in front of Dean’s building they both wanted to sob with relief. Dean had called ahead to tell his brother they were coming so when Sam came walking out the front door to hug both men it came as no surprise at all. Once he had greeted his brother and soon to be brother in law Sam leaned into the backseat to look at his niece. She was asleep, clutching a small stuffed Abe Lincoln doll they had picked up for her in Springfield.

“She’s gorgeous! Look at those little curls! And those cheeks!” Sam gushed. Cas and Dean shared a look, smiling at one another. Sam stepped back so Cas could unbuckle Gracie from her seat.

“When are you telling everyone?” Sam asked.

“We’ll swing by The Roadhouse tomorrow night and bring her with.” Dean explained as he went around to the trunk to pull all of their bags out. Sam followed him, helping him grab as many as he could.

“And dad? I think you should go soon. Maybe tonight. He’s dying to meet her.”

“I’ll talk to Cas about that. It’ll all depend on Gracie’s mood. The drive was rough on her.” Dean said as they climbed the steps to the apartment.

“Yeah, you’re right. Maybe tomorrow?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, probably.”

Dean followed Sam down the hall to what was now Gracie’s bedroom. It still felt strange knowing this was no longer his little brother’s bedroom, but the sight of Cas standing at their daughter’s bed as he laid her down for her nap chased away the insecurity he was feeling. Gracie’s furniture and other belongings had arrived the day before, and Sam and Jess had set everything up so it would be ready when they arrived. Jess was standing on the other side of the crib looking down at the child.

“She’s beautiful Dean, looks just like you.”

Dean grinned proudly. Cas shooed everyone out of the room, following them out and shutting the door behind himself.

“She’s going to wake up disoriented. I don’t think she’ll sleep much longer either, so let’s get our stuff unpacked before she does.” He told his fiancé. Dean sighed and nodded.

Gracie woke up crying twenty minutes later and Cas dropped everything to run to her.

“He’s really good with her, yeah?” Jess asked Dean as he sorted through the myriad of toys Kelly had sent home with them, trying to find a space in the living room for the toddler to call her own. It was a bit easier with Sam’s stuff gone, but Cas still had to bring stuff over.

“He’s great with her. She adores him too.” 

Cas reappeared with a sleepy toddler in his arms and sat down on the couch with her. She rubbed at her eyes with tiny fists before looking over at Sam and Jess who were sitting together on the oversized arm chair they usually shared.

“Hey munchkin.” Sam said. Gracie frowned and looked up at Cas.

“That’s your Uncle Sammy. Say hi to Uncle Sammy.”

Gracie looked at Sam again. “Hi.” She said shyly. Her eyes sought out Dean and upon finding him sitting on the floor surrounded by her toys she climbed down from Cas’ lap and ran over to him.

“Daddy!” She threw herself in his lap and he caught her, shifting her almost effortlessly so that she was sitting with her back against his chest.

“Sam, Jess, meet Grace Deanna Winchester.” Dean said proudly. Jess got down from Sam’s lap and knelt down next to Dean.

“Hi sweetie. Are these your toys?” She picked up a baby doll and smoothed a hand over its hair as she looked at the little girl. Gracie watched her carefully, accepting the doll when Jess offered it to her.

“Baby.” Gracie smiled at the doll and kissed its cheek.

“Cas and I decided we’re not going to force gender norms on her. We’re going to sort through her toys, keep her favorites and donate the ones she doesn’t touch. Then we’re going to let her pick out toys she likes. Whether it’s baby dolls or Matchbox cars. We’ll do the same with her clothes, though Kelly was pretty much already doing that.” Dean explained.

“I like that you’re going to let her develop her own personality and unbiased tastes.” Sam said.

“I still want to dress her in pink sometimes though, especially while she’s still little.” Cas admitted. 

“Of course! She’d be lovely in pink.” Jess smiled at the baby and Gracie smiled back. She used her father’s chest as leverage to stand up then walked over to Jess. She reached out to touch the woman’s hair.

“Pretty.” She whispered. Jess touched one of Gracie’s curls.

“Your hair is pretty too.” 

Gracie gave one of her big smiles before jumping back into Dean’s lap. The doorbell rang and Dean looked at his brother.

“I bet that’s Charlie. She’s been watching like a hawk for your car.” Sam said as he got to his feet. He motioned for Cas to stay seated as he went to answer the door. 

“Dean! You’re back!” Charlie was calling out before she even made it to the living room. She stopped short when she saw Gracie.

“Um, did I miss something? You guys weren’t gone THAT long!”

Cas and Dean both chuckled.

“Sit down Charlie, it’s a long story.” Dean told her.

“And I bet it’s a good one.” She flopped down next to Cas and leaned against him. Dean took a deep breath and began explaining.

 

“So let me get this straight, Julie, that blonde chick with the glasses that stalked you, she got pregnant on purpose? I don’t understand her logic. She thought she could win you back and then what, trap you?” Charlie asked.

“I guess so. It wouldn’t have worked, but you know that already. Had I known about Gracie I’d have fought her for custody. I think she knew that which is why she didn’t say anything to me.” Dean replied.

Charlie shook her head in amazement. “You guys…wow. So you’re a dad.” She nodded towards Dean.

“We. We are dads.” Dean held up his left hand, cringing at the shriek Charlie made at the sight of the ring. She turned to Cas and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! What was that for?!” He cried.

“For not calling me and telling me! You’re both jerks!”

“You’ll be in the loop for the actual wedding.” Cas promised.

“Damn right I will be.” She glared at him.

“Language.” Cas warned.

“Oh yeah!” Charlie slapped her hand over her mouth making Gracie giggle and copy her. Charlie grinned and joined Jess on the floor. Gracie walked over and put a hand on either side of Charlie’s face. She stared into her eyes and Charlie couldn’t help but smile.

“She looks just like you Dean.” She directed her next words to Gracie. “You look like your daddy.” Gracie’s face lit up and she turned around to look at Dean.

“Daddy!”

“Yes princess?” He was back to organizing her toys but he looked up when she said his name.

“E num daddy!”

“What was that in English?” Charlie laughed.

“Ask papa.” Dean told the little girl. Gracie turned to look at Cas.

“Papa, a nan nummy.”

“Again, English please?” Charlie asked. Cas was already on his feet, scooping the little girl up as he headed for the kitchen.

“She’s hungry, wants a snack.” Cas clarified. Jess and Charlie both followed him to the kitchen.

“Need help?” Jess asked.

“We ate dinner on the road, but if you wouldn’t mind cutting up half a banana for her, I’d much appreciate it.” Cas said as he sat Gracie in her high chair. Jess nodded and grabbed a banana and a knife.

“You’re going to have to totally baby proof this place.” Charlie said as she looked around. Everything looked like a danger to her.

“We will, but we won’t be staying here. We’re looking for a house.” Cas accepted the plate of banana slices and set it down on Gracie’s tray. She immediately dug in.

“I think I know the perfect house.” Jess said. 

“Yeah? Where? What’s it like?” Cas asked. He got a washcloth ready, anticipating sticky fingers.

Sam and I were looking at houses and we found a couple in this really nice, quiet, family friendly neighborhood about a mile from here. It’s actually closer to the high school. We’re thinking of making an offer on this one house, but there’s another bigger one across the street for sale. We did a tour of it and it’s nice, but we don’t want one quite that big. It’s a four bedroom.” Jess was pulling out her phone and typing away on it. She sat down next to him and held the phone out. He took it and looked through the pictures.

“Dean? Come here babe. This house is actually really nice.”

Dean and Sam walked into the kitchen and Cas handed him the phone. He looked through the pictures as Sam stood next to him pointing out details.

“See that room? Cas could use that to give lessons, but see here? There’s also an enclosed back porch. You could make it into a playroom for Gracie, it’s right off the kitchen which is massive. You could do some epic cooking in there Dean. Back yard is huge too. I’ll help you build a swing set if you want.”

Dean listened to his brother ramble on about the different features that he and Jess had noticed about the place and from what he could see in the pictures the house was perfect. With four bedrooms they could even have a spare room for guests. Or another room for later down the line if they decided they wanted another child. Cas seemed to be reading his mind because it was the first thing he brought up.

“An extra room means Gracie can have a brother or sister later.” 

Dean smiled at the man he loved and nodded. “Exactly what I was thinking.”

“Can we kindly get you two married before you think of having more kids?” Charlie teased.

“She just wants to plan the whole thing.” Dean said, giving her a playful punch in the arm. He handed Jess back her phone.

“Email that to me? I’d like to see if we can get a tour, and maybe see what else they have.”

Jess did it right then. “Done.”

“Babe, let’s go home and let them relax.” Sam told his girlfriend. She nodded.

Sam crouched down next to Gracie’s high chair. “I’ll see you later pumpkin. It was very nice meeting you.” His tone was easy and playful and Dean grinned at Cas as he listened to his brother use actual baby talk. Gracie reached out to touch Sam’s hair.

“Is petty hair.” She murmured as she ran her fingers through it. Dean snorted and Sam shot him a dirty look.

“Yes, Uncle Sammy has pretty hair.” Her father said. Gracie smiled at her dad before turning her attention back to her uncle. 

“Nose.” She touched the tip of Sam’s nose. He nodded.

“That’s right. Can you show me where my eyes are?” He asked, unable to resist this chance to teach her something. Dean rolled his own eyes.

“Leave it to my brother to want to teach her something the same day he meets her.” He muttered. Cas elbowed him but he was smiling as he watched Sam interacting with Gracie. She squinted and pointed to her own eyes.

“Eyes!”

Sam smiled and nodded. “That’s right! And where’s your mouth?”

She smacked her lips before tapping them with her fingers. Sam smiled and nooded.

“Such a smart girl. Uncle Sam’s so proud of you.” He kissed the top of her head and she reached out to touch his hair again.

“Petty hair.” She repeated.

“Someone’s getting their hair braided later.” Dean said in a sing song voice. Sam shot him another dirty look that had Cas snorting. 

“We’ll see you guys later.” Sam said as they walked out.

“Later Sammy.” Dean waved. He turned to look at Charlie.

“You’re here hoping I cooked, aren’t you?” She smiled sheepishly.

“Doesn’t your girlfriend feed you?” Cas asked with a laugh. He went to the freezer to see what they had to cook. It was pretty bare.

“Geez, looks like it does at my apartment. We have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.” 

“Add it to the list of crap to do.” Dean sighed. “I’ll just order a pizza. Baby girl here will be hungry later I’m sure.”

Dean let Charlie take Gracie back to the living room while he cleaned up the banana mess she had made. Cas was busy inventorying the cabinets and fridge, making a list of what they would need, especially with a child now to feed. It was all very domestic and Cas loved it. When the pizza arrived the two men joined Charlie and Gracie in the living room. Cas fed his daughter from a small slice while they all chatted.

“So how are you going to manage the tours with a family?” Charlie asked, directing the question to Cas.

“I am officially retired. I left the orchestra. I’ve already signed up for classes at KU and I’m going to start on my degree.” He told her.

“I can’t believe how she warmed up so quick to you guys.” Charlie was watching the little girl as she alternated snagging bites of pizza with showing Dean how to properly hold her baby doll. She babbled happily the whole time.

“She’s quite friendly. It’s going to be a pain teaching her stranger danger.” Cas sighed.

“She’d probably willingly leave with one if they were nice enough.” Dean added.

“Yes, much like her father.” Cas raised an eyebrow, daring Dean to disagree. The other man simply grinned back.

“I wouldn’t leave with just anyone…”

“Tell Charlie who your new best friend is.” Cas urged. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Uh, uh. No one’s taking my title. It’s bad enough I have to share it with Benny.” Charlie crossed her arms and shook her head. Dean just chuckled.

“No, I just got to talking to people and…sort of maybe became friends with Jessica Simpson and her husband Eric.” He shrugged but his smile was smug. Charlie’s look of incredulity was hilarious.

“No freaking way!”

Dean nodded. “Yes way. I was seated next to her at the second concert in Philly. Apparently her husband had been asked to give the intro speech for the statue reveal. She saw me looking at a picture of Gracie and asked about her. I didn’t know who the hell she was so we just sat there chatting through the entire thing. When it was over we exchanged numbers.”

“Dean here invited them to a barbecue, and they want to know when the wedding is so they can send a gift.” Cas added.

“I’ve been texting with Jessica on and off since that night. I sent her a couple of pictures of Gracie, and she’s been giving me some advice.” Dean pulled up a picture on his phone and held it out for Charlie to see.

“She sent me that of her kids in the pool with Eric. They’re teaching them to swim and she suggests we teach Gracie, says it will be good for her.”

Charlie recognized Eric. She shook her head in disbelief. “Any other interesting new friends you met on your trip?”

“I met the governor of Philadelphia. We discussed recipes for pie crust. I have talked a couple of times with his wife.” Dean replied with a shrug.

“Oh, he made friends in New York with Kevin Smith after we ran into him in a bagel shop, and he got into a debate over diapers with freaking Julianne Moore. That was while we were walking down the street looking in the window of a children’s store. She saw us and just stopped and asked if we had a child, since Gracie wasn’t with is. Of course Dean here whips out his phone and shows the woman pictures, and they spent the next thirty minutes walking through the store like they were old friends, looking at toys, furniture, diapers, clothes, you name it. I felt like an awkward third wheel, but I liked being able to hang back and watch Dean in action. Julianne seemed impressed with him.”

“Oh stop. I got some good advice, she’s a very nice lady.”

Shit Dean, you should tell Cas about the time you met Triple HHH.” Charlie said.

Cas’ eyebrows shot up. “No shit, when was this?”

Dean smiled. “It was a few years ago. Charlie and I took a vacation and we were relaxing on the beach, trying to soak up some rays when this huge freaking guy trips over my legs and falls on top of me. I looked up to see this dude clutching a football and he’s sprawled half across my legs, pinning me to the lawn chair I was laying on. He apologized and asked if I wanted to join the game. I didn’t know it at the time but he was a new wrestler. I forget his name now, but on the opposing team was Paul. Charlie got in on the game too and we had a fun afternoon. Our team won too.”

“You are one lucky bastard, do you know that?” Cas asked him, shaking his head in awe.

“Language.” Charlie teased. Cas shot her a dirty look.

“I must be, I met you didn’t I?” Dean leaned over to kiss Cas.

“No!” Gracie shoved her way between them and pointed a finger at Cas.

“No daddy!”

Cas chuckled. “I can’t kiss daddy?” 

She shook her head and continued to glare at him.

“My daddy.”

“Oh…can’t we share?” Cas asked, giving her the puppy dog eyes that Sam gave Dean all the time.

“Papa, no!” The child sounded thoroughly exasperated. It made everyone in the room laugh.

“Who can give daddy kisses then? Daddy needs his kisses.” Cas told her. She looked up at Dean who nodded in agreement.

“Daddy kiss?”

“I need kisses. Can’t papa give me kisses? Please?”

She smiled, her little cheeks all rosy. “Kiss daddy!” She clapped her hands together. Dean and Cas looked at each other before they each planted a kiss on Gracie’s cheeks. She giggled and pushed them both away before scampering off to put her doll in its little cradle.

“She’s a hoot.” Charlie said as she watched Gracie playing. She turned to look at the guys who were snuggled up against one another and stealing little kisses.

“So, wedding? Any idea of when and where?”

“Soon and no.” Cas replied with a laugh.

“How soon is soon?” Charlie asked.

Cas looked at Dean who just shrugged. “Well, how about Halloween?” Cas suggested.

“Really? Halloween?” Dean asked, amused by the idea.

“Would make an interesting reception.” Cas said with a laugh.

“Yeah, but it might confuse Gracie.” Dean told him. Cas nodded.

“You’re right. Ok, how about…” Cas pulled out his phone and went to the calendar.

“We do it on your Christmas break? That way you don’t have to miss too much school. We can do it like Christmas Eve, spend time with the family on Christmas Day, and then on the twenty sixth we go on our honeymoon?”

“I like that. Hopefully by then we’ll be settled in a house and have a routine established.” Dean said.

“I’ll watch Gracie while you’re on your honeymoon.” Charlie offered.

“Oh, uh, I guess…” Dean looked at his little girl, the conflict in his eyes apparent. He loathed leaving her behind.

“You need time for just you and Cas. No family, no friends, just the two of you. If Gracie goes with your attention will be solely on her and not on one another. This will be your last chance to really spend time alone until she leaves for college.” Charlie said.

Dean sighed.

“She’s right you know. And I look forward to time spent ravaging your gorgeous body.” Cas whispered his ear. Dean grinned, shivering at his words.

“Is he talking dirty in your ear?” Charlie asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Who, me? Never.” Cas replied, his expression open and innocent.

“Liar.”

Charlie snagged a couple more pieces of pizza before getting up.

“I have work in the morning. I’ll see you guys soon though. Let me know what time the shindig at The Roadhouse is, I want to be there to see Jo’s face.”

“I’ll text you. Drive safe.” Dean told her. She planted a kiss on both men’s cheek before kneeling down and kissing the top of Gracie’s head.

“Later!” 

They were finally alone in their apartment with their daughter. It was almost surreal for them both.

“So, are we going to go see your dad tomorrow?” Cas asked.

“Yes. Sam says he’s fading fast and he really wants to meet Gracie.” 

Cas nodded. “We’ll go in the morning after breakfast, when she’s the most pleasant.”

 

Gracie was yawning and the time on Dean’s phone said it was almost bedtime. 

“Come on princess, let’s go get your bath going.” He stood up and started for the bathroom. Gracie followed and Cas pulled up the rear to make sure she made it all the way to the bathroom. Dean ran the bath and helped his daughter undress.

“I’ll get her pajamas.” Cas disappeared and returned once Gracie was sitting in the tub, her head a miss of soapy bubbles where Dean was washing it. He set the pajamas and a clean diaper on the toilet before leaning against the door jam to watch the man he loved and their child as they splashed and played. Dean rinsed her hair before picking her up and handing her to Cas who had grabbed a towel in anticipation. He rubbed her down and together they got her dressed. While perched on the counter Dean helped her brush her teeth before Cas scooped her up and carried her to bed. She looked around the bedroom warily. 

“This is your new room sweetheart. It’s ok. Look, here’s your teddy bear!” Cas spoke gently, picking up the bear and handing it to the baby. She hugged it tight as Cas laid her down in the crib. Gracie rubbed at her eyes and yawned but she was fighting sleep.

“Papa, pick up!” She made grabby hands at him but he only brushed a damp curl away from her forehead.

“No up princess. You need to go to sleep.” 

They stood by the crib, Cas running his fingers through her hair until she finally drifted off. Once she was asleep they left the room, heading to their own where they collapsed face first onto the bed.

“Ouch, that was a bad idea.” Cas rubbed at his chest where one of his rings had gotten pulled.

“After all that driving I could sleep for a week.” Dean groaned into his pillow.

“I agree.” Cas hummed as he pulled Dean close and wrapped his arms around him. Within moment they were both asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially I had Sam's interaction much less involved, but I decided to have him do a little more before he and Jess left. Hope you liked her complimenting Sam on his hair, lol. I couldn't pass it up. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Love you guys!!!


	16. The Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean fall into a comfortable routine with Gracie, and bring her around to meet her grandpa, John. They gather family and friends at The Roadhouse to announce Gracie's arrival and share the news about their engagement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet fluff, I hope you enjoy it! Off to see my mom now....

Gracie woke up screaming a few hours later. It didn’t take them long to realize that she was scared sleeping in an unfamiliar room and once Dean moved the bathroom nightlight to her room she settled back down and went back to sleep. She woke up two more times, once more because she was scared, and once because she wanted to play. By eight both men were up and exhausted. 

“When she takes her nap later I’m taking one too.” Dean groused over a cup of coffee.

“I’m joining you.” Cas yawned over his own cup. Gracie was happily sipping on a cup of apple juice and trying to spoon plain cheerios into her mouth. Dean was too tired to care that she was making a mess. When breakfast was over Dean cleaned up while Cas took Gracie to get her dressed and ready to go.

Out at the car Gracie fussed until Dean produced her sippy cup. Cas secured her in the backseat of the Impala and they made the drive to the nursing home. They walked in with Gracie walking between them, holding one of each of their hands. When Dean opened the door to his father’s room he held his breath. John was awake though and he looked over with a smile when he saw his son.

“Dean? You’re back?”

“Yeah dad, we just got in last night.”

Cas scooped Gracie up as they approached the bed. John’s eyes locked on the little girl and his expression brightened as a warm smile lit up his face.

“So this is my granddaughter. Hi beautiful.” John grabbed the edge of her shoe and shook her foot lightly as he greeted her.

“Hi.” She replied as she buried her face in Cas’ neck.

“Oh, don’t be shy sweetheart, that’s your grandpa.” Cas kissed the top of her head.

“What’s her full name again? I think Sam told me but I forgot.” John said.

“Grace Deanna Winchester.” Dean replied.

“Grace Deanna, like your grandma.” John grinned.

“More like she was named after me. I’m pretty sure I never told Julie who I was named after.” 

“Your mom would be so proud. And Gracie here would be spoiled rotten.” There was a nostalgic tone to John’s voice that pulled at Dean’s heart strings. He could remember how loving and attentive his mother had been. She had been amazing. Gracie squirmed in Cas’ arms.

“Down peez!”

Cas set her on the floor and she ran over to the chair by the window. They watched her climb up into it and then stand up to look out the window.

“Birdies! Daddy! Look!” She pointed to a bird feeder just outside John’s window where a couple of sparrows were eating.

“I see. Aren’t they pretty? Be quiet though or they’ll fly away.” He held a finger over his own lips and she looked up at him with wide eyes and nodded.

“Be quiet, yeah.” She whispered before looking at the birds once more.

“So I heard one of you proposed?” John looked between the two of them. Cas raised his hand.

“Yes sir, I did.”

“Good. Sam was telling me about it but…I’ve been forgetting some details to things lately. Let me see your ring.” John told his son. Dean stepped forward and held out his hand. John nodded in approval.

“When’s the wedding?”

“We’re aiming for Christmas Eve.” Cas said.

“I…wish I could be here for it, but I want you both to know that this is the happiest and proudest I’ve ever been. You take care of that little angel you have there. I know you’ll do a far better job than I did.” 

John swiped at a tear that slipped down his cheek. So much had changed since Dean had seen his father just a month earlier. He had lost a substantial amount of weight and had dark circles under his eyes. Dean and Cas both knew he wouldn’t be around much longer. Dean wrapped his arms around himself to hide the fact that he was shaking. John’s eyes had drifted closed, though he still had a soft smile on his face. Cas got up and pulled Dean into his arms.

“I know baby. I know.” He caressed his fiancé’s back as they stood quietly watching John sleep. Gracie was still thankfully enamored with the birds and now squirrel that were eating at the bird feeder.

“Daddy, dat? Puppy?” She pointed at the squirrel. Dean forced himself out of his melancholy mood and smiled at his daughter. He looked where she was pointing.

“No sweetie, that’s a squirrel. Can you say squirrel?”

“Skirrel?” She tilted her head as she tried the word out and Dean had to stifle a laugh. In that moment she looked just like Cas.

“Close. Squirrel.” He sounded the letters out for her even slower.

“Squirrel?” 

“Yes baby girl! You got it!”

She clapped and looked back out at the tiny rodent.

“I pet squirrel?”

“No sweetie, they’re too scared.” He told her. It hurt to see her tiny face fall like it did.

“Hey Dean? What do you think about us getting a dog once we get the house? It would give Gracie someone to grow up with, and to protect her. No one would dare try walking in the yard if we had a decent size dog. Plus…my folks never let me have a pet growing up. I’d like to own something.” Cas scuffed his shoe against the floor as he waited to see what Dean would say.

“You want a dog Cas?” Dean asked, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Cas shrugged and then nodded.

“It would be nice I think. And a good experience for Gracie.”

Dean looked at his daughter who was babbling to the squirrel about how pretty it was.

“Yeah, ok, we can get a dog, but we’re picking it out together.”

He missed the fist pump Cas did while his head was turned.

They stayed a while longer, until Gracie grew bored with the birds and began to demand food. Dean tried to placate her with some cheese crackers but those only worked for a short while.

“She has your appetite, I swear.” Cas muttered as he took the toddler by the hand and led her out of the room so Dean could say goodbye to his father.

“Hey dad?” He shook John’s shoulder gently. The older Winchester winced slightly before opening his eyes.

“Dean?”

“Yeah dad. Um, we have to take Gracie home, she’s hungry and needs a nap, but…I’ll be back tomorrow and I’ll try to stay longer, ok?”

John gave a small smile and nodded. “See you ‘morrow.” He was already drifting off again. It saddened Dean to know how much pain his father was in and that only high doses of pain meds were making that pain tolerable. He pressed a tender kiss to his father’s temple before leaving to find his family.

Cas had taken Gracie outside where she was investigating the flowers that lined the walkway out to the parking lot.

“Is pretty papa.” She grabbed a pansy and offered it to him before he could stop her. Dean laughed as he joined them.

“Come on, let’s go home.”

Once at home Dean made lunch for them and when it was over Cas cleaned Gracie up and put her down for her nap. Dean took the opportunity to try and gather a few people together for later.

Dean to Benny:

Dean: Hey, you and Andrea free later? Meet Cas and me at Roadhouse. 7pm.

Benny: Sure. So you’re back?

Dean: Since last night. Just got back from seeing my dad.

Benny: I’ll tell Andrea. It’ll be good to see you brother.

Dean texted Jo just to make sure she was working.

Dean: You working tonight little mama?

Jo: Unfortunately, why?

Dean: Cas and I are coming in at 7.

Jo: So you’re back from his tour? How was it?

Dean: It was nice. Got a lot to tell you, and I’ll tell you about my new friends too.

Jo: Ohhhh, can’t wait!

Dean: We’ll see you at 7. Tell your mom.

Jo: Will do.

Dean decided he needed to remind Sam too.

Dean: Hey, you’re coming tonight still, right?

Sam: We’ll be there. What time?

Dean: 7

Sam: Ok. I’ll tell Jess in a few.

Dean shot off one last text to Charlie with the time and she sent back a thumbs up. He realized Cas had not come back so he went in search of him. The man was sprawled out in their bed already snoring. He snickered softly before crawling into the bed with him. Gracie would wake them in an hour, no doubt, so he intended to make the most of the time he had until she did.

The Roadhouse in the middle of the week was pretty dead and Dean knew there was no way they wouldn’t be immediately spotted when they walked in the door. They decided that Dean would go in first, make sure everyone was there before Cas came in with Gracie. So at seven Dean pushed open the door and walked in.

His family and friends were all sitting at the bar chatting and they looked up as he made his way over. Ellen hurried around the bar to give him a hug.

“How was your trip sweetie? Did you have a good time?” 

“Yeah, made some new friends too, but I’ll tell you about that later.”

“Where’s Cas?” Bobby asked from his seat next to Sam.

“He’s uh, parking the car.” Dean didn’t miss the smirk his brother gave him.

“I get the feeling you brought us all down here to share some news brother. Care to spill?” Benny had one eyebrow raised expectantly and Dean grinned.

“Yeah, we have some news, but wait til Cas comes in.” Dean pulled out his phone and shot his fiancé a text. A minute later Cas came walking in the door with Gracie next to him. She was holding on tightly to his hand.

“What the…who’s this little angel?” Ellen looked at the toddler and then up at Dean in shock.

“My daughter, Gracie. You all know that girl Julie I dated a few years back?”

Ellen was crouched down next to Gracie talking softly but she nodded. Everyone else murmured and nodded.

“Yeah, well, she tricked me and got pregnant on purpose. I just found out about Gracie while I was in Pennsylvania. Julie, she died. Her sister Kelly called me to tell me I had a daughter. She’s sick and her health is deteriorating, so she wanted me to know. I have custody of Gracie.”

The shock took a minute to work its way through the small group.

“Knew that girl was bad news when you first agreed to go out with her.” Bobby grunted.

“She may have been bad news, but she gave us something wonderful.” Cas said. 

“I can’t believe you’re a dad. That’s just like…wow.” Jo had come out from behind the bar to hug Dean.

“I’m happy for you brother, she’s beautiful. She looks just like you.” Benny said and clapped him on the back.

“Did you tell them the rest of the news?” Cas asked.

Everyone turned to stare at Dean.

“What news would that be?” Ellen asked as she got to her feet.

“Cas proposed. We’re getting married on Christmas Eve.” 

Jo screeched and Ellen cried as they both hugged him so tight he couldn’t breathe.

“Papa, up!” Gracie held her hands up to Cas and he picked her up. She laid her head against his shoulder and looked at the group of people.

“Did she just call you papa?” Andrea asked, a huge smile on her face.

“Yes, she did. Cas is adopting her once we’re married. She’s as much his as she is mine.” Dean said.

“Does your dad know?” Ellen asked.

“We took Gracie to see him earlier. He’s in love with her.”

Ellen walked over to Cas. “Can I hold her?”

Cas nudged his daughter lightly. “Can she hold you?”

“Hey El, can…she call you grandma?” Dean asked.

Ellen turned to look at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “You want her to call me grandma?” She couldn’t believe it!

“Well, yeah. You were my mom for most of my life. And we’d like her to call Bobby Grandpa, if that’s ok.” Dean looked over at Bobby who’s eyebrows had shot so high they almost disappeared under his baseball cap.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you were always more of a dad to me than John was.” Dean replied, a huge grin on his face.

Bobby’s lip trembled almost imperceptibly. He gave a quick nod of approval.

“This here’s your grandma. She loves you Gracie. Can she hold you?” Cas asked his daughter. She lifted her head to look at him for a moment before looking at Ellen again. Slowly she held her arms out and Ellen took the little girl into her arms.

“Oh precious girl, you’re so beautiful! Do you want a cookie? Grandma’ll get you a cookie.” Ellen cooed as she disappeared into the back with Gracie. When they returned a few minutes later Gracie was beaming as she munched on a giant sugar cookie.

‘Oh great, give her a sugar rush right before bed.” Dean groaned.

Ellen sat the little girl down on the bar and she immediately reached for Dean. Sam moved over so he could sit in front of his daughter. Immediately she thrust her cookie in his face.

“Eat daddy. ‘S nummy.” She wasn’t taking no for an answer. He took a bite of her cookie.

“Mmm! That’s so good!” HE exclaimed for her benefit.

“So good!” She squealed, her little legs swinging excitedly. She looked over at Cas. “Papa! Is so good!” She thrust the cookie out at him and he obliged by taking a bite too.

“You’re right baby girl! Grandma makes good cookies!” 

“Oh my, she’s the most precious thing ever!” Ellen gushed. She wiped away the tears in her eyes. 

“She’s gonna have everyone wrapped around her finger, I can already tell.” Jo laughed.

“She’s Dean’s, of course she will.” Benny said.

“So how exactly are you doing the living arrangements?” Bobby asked.

Cas explained the current living arrangements while Dean entertained Gracie. Ellen insisted they celebrate with dinner and had them move to a booth that she pulled a table up to for extra room. They talked as they ate, explaining what had happened on the trip.

“You seriously met Jessica Simpson?” Sam asked.

Dean pulled up the picture Jessica had just sent him that morning of her in the recording studio with her daughter. He handed the phone to his brother who gaped.

“Dean invited them to a barbecue before the summer’s over too.” Cas grinned over the top of Gracie’s head. She was kneeling on the seat between them and eating Dean’s fries.

“You did what now? Who’s Jessica Simpson?” Bobby asked.

“She’s a singer. She’s married to Eric Johnson.” Cas said. Bobby’s eyes widened at that name.

“Did you meet him too?”

“I did, and he’s very nice.” Dean replied.

“Shoot boy, get me an autograph!” Bobby told him.

“You can ask him for one yourself if they come for the barbecue.” 

Bobby snorted and nodded. “Suppose I can.”

By eight thirty Gracie was getting cranky so Dean and Cas decided it was time to head home. Ellen told them they’d be seeing a lot more of her and Dean was glad for that.

“I’ll babysit anytime!” Jo told them as they were walking out.

“So will Benny and I.” Andrea said.

It warmed Dean’s heart knowing his family and friends were so loving and accepting. He hadn’t had any fear of rejection, there was no way they’d reject someone that was a part of him, but he had worried that they might think he and Cas were moving too fast. It was unfounded though, they all loved Cas.

As Cas unlocked the door Dean shifted the sleepy toddler from one arm to the other while he waited.

“Dean?”

He turned to see Bobby standing there.

“Hey, what’s up?” 

Bobby looked at Gracie for a long time before he smiled. It was a small thing, but it was big for Bobby.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m proud of you son. You’ve done nothing but make me proud since you first came to live with us, but now…I always wanted you to have your own family, and now you have that. I wanted you to know that you are a better man than your father ever was, and I know you’ll be a wonderful father and husband.”

Dean blinked, the shock of Bobby’s confession still sinking in. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.

“Thanks Bobby, that means a lot.”

Bobby nodded, his eyes returning to the now sleeping child in Dean’s arms. He brought one rough and calloused hand up to gently touch her head.

“She really is beautiful. And she does look just like you. I don’t even remember if I met her mama or not to be honest, so I can’t say how much she looks like the woman, but I think it’s good that she got the Winchester genes. She’s got your mama’s hair too.”

Dean kissed the top of his daughter’s head before passing her to Cas to be buckled into her seat. “I don’t think I ever introduced you to her, but I know I mentioned her. You griped about her when she was stalking me. I’m not telling my daughter that though. I want her to have good memories of her mom. I have pics at the house of her with Gracie. We’re making a photo album for her for when she’s older.”

“So, you gonna be a Novak or is he going to be a Winchester?” Bobby asked.

“I’ll be taking Dean’s name, so I’ll be a Winchester.” Cas said after he had the baby in her seat.

“That’s good. If I didn’t get a chance to say it before, I’ll say it now; welcome to the family.”

Cas smiled wide and nodded. “Thank you, that means a lot.”

Bobby adjusted his hat on his head and nodded towards the car. “You get that angel home and put her to bed, but you best bring her around. She needs to learn to work on cars.”

Dean chuckled. “Oh, she will learn, trust me. We’ll definitely be bringing her around.”

“Good. Now get home.” Bobby barked. Cas looked alarmed but Dean just laughed.

“We’re going old man. Get back inside before Ellen puts out an alert for your ass.” Dean said as he went around to the driver’s side.

Bobby was smiling when he went back into the bar, though he would never admit it.

“I’ve only met him a handful of times but…is always so gruff?” Cas asked as they drove home.

“Gruff? He’s a giant freaking teddy bear. That was him being affectionate.” Dean said. Cas’ eyebrows rose at hearing that.

“If that’s affectionate I’m afraid to see him upset.”

Dean just laughed. Bobby would grow on him, he was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the positive words of encouragement Bobby gives the boys at the end. I freaking love Bobby. I hope you like the chapter, leave a comment. Catch you all later!


	17. Domesticity and House Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas take the tour of the house Jess had suggested along with a couple of others. Just as things are starting to look up for them, Dean gets a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the fluff before things get rough.

Dean had emailed the realtor the day after they got back and now they had an appointment to tour the house plus three others in that immediate area. Sam and Jess had gone ahead and bid on the one across the street and if they got this house he could literally see their house from his front porch. To him that signified closeness and the fact that once Sam and Jess started having kids, Gracie would be close to her cousins. They could grow up together, something Dean had always wanted.

Jo had agreed to watch Gracie for the afternoon while they toured the houses and they were waiting on the porch for the realtor to show up. When a small woman with big eyes and an overly enthusiastic personality came hurrying up the walk they knew it was her.

“Hi! Hi! Sorry I’m late!” She gasped as she met them by the door. “Becky Rosen. Which of you is Dean?”

Dean offered his hand. “That would be me. This is my fiancé Castiel.”

Becky shook his hand before turning to Cas. “So nice to meet you! Sam told me such wonderful things about you both! I understand you have a little girl?” She shook Cas’ hand as well before entering the code on the door lock and motioning for them to follow her inside.

“Yes, Grace. She’s two.” Cas replied.

“Oh what a wonderful age! Are you planning on having more kids?” She asked.

“We would like to, yes.” Dean nodded.

“This house is perfect for a bigger family. Oh my God, let me show you the kitchen!”

Becky’s enthusiasm was exhausting and Dean caught the looks Cas was giving him throughout the tour. They listened to what Becky was telling them and when the tour was over they asked if they could just walk through the house one more time by themselves.

“Of course! I’ll just wait in the kitchen.” She replied cheerfully.

They took their time as they walked through the house, discussing things they liked and things they didn’t.

“Master bath needs updating.” Cas pointed out.

“Yes, but they did remodel the kitchen. This would be a minor fix I think, and I could do most of the work myself.” Dean said.

“What about the asking price? Does it strike you as a bit high?” Cas asked as they moved on to one of the three bedrooms on the second floor. There was one located on the first floor and he was thinking of that one for his office. 

“It’s fair for the market. We should see how many bids there currently are and if we like it enough to make an offer, we can make it a little lower, to have room for negotiations.” Dean said.

“I hate all this carpet. It’s bad for allergies. I’d pull it up.” Cas said looking down at the gray carpet that was in all the second floor rooms.

“I laid flooring before with Bobby, it’s not hard. We could pull this up and put down wood floors if there aren’t already ones under it.” Dean opened the closet door.

“Look, this room has a walk in. Lots of space for Gracie and her stuff.”

Cas looked at the closet. He liked the shelving in it.

“Yes, this is quite spacious.” He agreed.

The house had three bathrooms, two full on the second floor and a half bath on the first floor. The sunporch was a three season and Dean was mulling over ways to make it a year round space. The yard was enclosed and one of the biggest in the neighborhood.

“Perfect for a dog.” Cas pointed out with a grin.

“Mmmhmm.” Dean pursed his lips and moved back to the interior of the house to keep looking around.

The house had a large living room as well as a dining room off the kitchen. Cas considered opening up the wall between the two to make it more open and Dean agreed it was a good idea. The basement was not finished but it showed no signs of having any flood damage.

“I think that if we don’t make the sunporch into a room Gracie can play all year long in then we could probably finish down here and turn this into both a sound studio where I can teach and work on my music or make it into a giant playroom.” Cas said. 

“We could do that ourselves too.” Dean told him.

“I hate to break it to you babe but I don’t know the first thing about remodeling, however…if you teach me I promise to do my best.” 

Dean smiled and kissed him. “You have a lot to learn then.”

“I don’t doubt it. At least I’m willing to learn.”

Dean pulled a notepad out of his back pocket and began writing.

“What’s that?” Cas asked, looking over his shoulder. 

“I’m going to take notes of what we like and don’t like for each house we see, and then what we would want to actually change.” Dean explained.

“Don’t forget the carpets. I don’t want a house with carpet, it messes with my allergies.” Cas reminded him. Dean nodded and added it to the list. When they had it all written down they returned to the kitchen. Becky was sitting at the island on her phone but she jumped to her feet when they walked in.

“We’re ready to see the next one.” Cas told her.

“Well alrighty then!”

The next house was a half mile away but still in a nice area. It was smaller but it had the hardwood flooring Cas wanted. It only had three bedrooms though, and none were as big as the first house. The yard was not fenced and only half the size. Dean made his notes as they did their private tour after Becky’s whirlwind one. Neither were as impressed by this house. 

“I don’t like the price. It’s higher, at the high end of our budget, and the rooms are smaller.” Dean said.

“Yeah, I’m not impressed. Plus it’s a longer drive to the high school.” Cas added as he watched Dean scribbling notes on his notepad. They made their way back to the kitchen, another room they were not impressed with, and told Becky they were ready for the next house.

The next house was nice and three blocks away from the first one. It had the hardwood floors Cas wanted, but again it only had three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It had a large yard with a pool, but the yard was not fenced. 

“I like the space, but there’s really nowhere but one of the upstairs bedrooms for Gracie to play which means her toys would be in the living room, and we’d have to enclose the backyard.” Cas said as he stood at the back door looking out across the expanse of grass. The kids next door were older, all boys, and rough housing. They had car parts and camping equipment strewn across an uncut lawn too. He frowned as he turned to face Dean.

“I say no. I don’t like this one.”

Dean nodded. “I have to agree. Do we want to keep looking or do we want to go with the first one? It would be close to Sam and Jess.”

Cas smiled. He knew Dean’s real reason for liking that house so much.

“If you think we could do all the necessary repairs then I like that one too. Aside from the carpet and the upstairs master bath, I really like the place.”

“Then let’s go tell Becky.”

The realtor was even more enthusiastic at hearing they liked the first house. While Cas discussed the price with her, Dean called Sam.

“So, did you like it?” Sam asked.

“Yes, we’re actually going to make an offer. It needs a few things fixed, but not much.” Dean replied.

“I knew you’d like it. Most of the houses in the area are three bedrooms, that’s a rare one with four. We knew you could use the space for Cas’ lessons. Being close to the high school should help him too with that.”

“You’re right.” Dean agreed. “The sunporch sort of sold me on the place. And the huge backyard. We can throw some serious parties out there.”

“Or even your wedding.” Sam said.

“No, not at Christmas, too cold for an outdoor wedding.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Sam conceded. “But if you convert that basement you’d have an epic home theater for football season.”

“I like that idea.” Dean was already picturing it.

 

“Well, let me know how the negotiations go. We placed a bid but so did four others. Becky says it’s now narrowed down to ours and one other, but she thinks they’ll go with ours as we’re more financially stable, and we offered to cover the closing costs.” 

“Will do. I’ll talk to you later.” Dean said and hung up. When he returned to the kitchen he found Cas deep in discussion about the things that needed to be fixed, and what they were willing to offer. Becky was writing down everything he told her. Cas looked up at Dean and patted the seat next to him. Dean sat down to listen. He wasn’t as aggressive at negotiations as Cas was so he was leaving the actual number crunching to his future husband.

“I’ll submit your offer to the owners as soon as I get back to the office, but there is only one other family that has made an offer, and yours is definitely the better one. I think they might accept yours.” She said cheerfully.

“I do hope so, we are looking to get settled in our home before the wedding.” Cas said.

“Oh, of course! I’ll be in touch, it was wonderful meeting you both.” She shook both of their hands and they parted ways on the front steps. They had left the Impala parked back in front of the first house and they took their time walking back to it.

“This neighborhood is very nice. A lot of families.” Cas pointed out.

“And it’s quiet. We might have to sound proof the downstairs bedroom if you’re going to turn it into a studio.” Dean moved closer, slipping an arm around Cas’ waist and putting his head on his shoulder. Cas wrapped an arm around him in return.

“I think Gracie will be happy here, and if Sam and Jess get the house across the street their kids and ours will grow up together.” Cas said. That made Dean smile.

“Yeah. I love that idea.”

Cas kissed the top of his head. “I knew you would.”

Jo was supposed to be watching Gracie at their apartment but when they got back no one was there. Dean shot her a text.

Dean: Where are you guys? We’re back.

It took a few minutes before she responded.

Jo: At park. Monkey got antsy. Brought her to run off some energy. Meet us?

Dean: We’ll start walking now.

The park was only two blocks away so the opted to walk it instead of driving. When they got there they found Jo pushing an excited Gracie in a baby swing. She squealed when she spotted her dads.

“Papa!” She screamed. Cas laughed and took over pushing her from the front where he could face her.

“Hi bug! Are you having fun?”

She nodded and squealed as he pushed her higher. Jo walked over to the bench where Dean was sitting, going over the notes he had written down.

“So, any of them any good?” She asked as she sat down next to him.

“Yeah, we put in a bid on the one Sam told us about. We really like that one. Lots of room and a huge back yard. Cas wants a dog.”

Jo snickered. “A dog? I think that would be good actually. Gracie will have a friend to grow up with. Remember the dog I had when I was little? Axle?”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, that little raggedy mutt. It died before Sammy and I went to live with you guys, but I remember playing ball for hours with him. He was a good dog.”

“It’ll be a good experience for Gracie.” She said.

They watched Cas playing with Gracie who was now coming down a short slide, right into his arms. It brought a smile to Dean’s face. 

“Dean?”

He turned to see who was calling his name.

“Cassie?”

He couldn’t help the look of shock on his face. He hadn’t seen her in at least ten years.

Oh my God! I can’t believe it’s you!” She gasped. He stood up to give her a hug.

“How have you been? What have you been up to? He asked. 

“Mostly work, taking care of my mom too. My dad died.” There was a sadness in her eyes that hit close to home for Dean.

“I’m sorry to hear that. My dad…he’s dying right now. Stage four cancer of the liver.” 

She squeezed his arm gently. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Thanks. It’s…good to see you. It’s been forever.”

She smiled and nodded. “Yes it has. Not since high school. I missed you.” 

The way she said that made him slightly uncomfortable. He had dated Cassie for most his junior and senior years of high school, had even thought he might one day marry her, but his slightly fuzzy feelings towards her had not been enough in the end and he had ended up leaving for college, and leaving her behind.

“So what did you do after college?” She asked. Her hand still lingered on his arm. 

“Ah, well, I got my degree. I teach high school AP English, I lived with Sammy up until this month. He and his girlfriend are buying a house together. I met the love of my life and got engaged, we’re getting married Christmas Eve, and we have a little girl together.” As if following a cue Gracie came running over to wrap her arms around Dean’s leg.

“I play n a slide daddy!” 

“I know! You’re such a big girl!” 

Cassie had dropped her hand from his arm, her smile faltering a bit. She glanced at Jo.

“She’s pretty.” 

Dean glanced back at Jo, realizing what Cassie must be thinking. 

“Oh God no, that’s Jo, you remember Jo, don’ you?” He saw the recognition in Cassie’s eyes.

“Yes, yes, of course. She really grew up.”

Cas was walking over and Dean smiled at him, holding out a hand. He saw how wide Cassie’s eyes got when Cas took it.

“Gracie has enough energy for three kids, I swear!” Cas was slightly out of breath after chasing their daughter around.

“Cas, babe, I’d like you to meet Cassie. We dated back in high school. This is the first time I’ve seen her since graduation.” Dean told him. Cas’ smiled politely, offering his hand. She shook it but the look of confusion was still on her face.

“It’s…nice to meet you.” She told Cas. Gracie was tearing across the park towards the sandbox.

“If you’ll excuse me I have to chase a toddler down. I don’t want her in that sand, it’s disgusting!” Cas said as he took off after his daughter. Cassie turned her attention back to Dean.

“Is that…are you…gay?”

“I am not gay, I am Pansexual. Google it if you don’t know what it is. And no, things didn’t work out between you and me because I have issues forming a close bond with people. Cas is the only person I’ve ever actually been in love with. I know…” He took a deep breath, feeling guilty for the look of hurt on her face. He’d been perfectly aware that she had been in love with him all those years ago.

“I know we had something special, and I know what you felt for me. I just…I tried to feel it too, but I couldn’t. That’s why I broke things off when I did.” 

She looked off across the park and he knew she was hurt. He felt like an ass for saying it but the look in her eyes when she’d first walked up told him she still might harbor some feelings for him. 

“No, I get it. It’s ok, it’s all in the past now.” 

Gracie was running back in their direction but Cas caught up with her, grabbing her and swinging her through the air. The little girl squealed in delight. Cassie smiled at the sight.

“That’s a good man you have there. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you. He’s amazing.” Dean said. Cas walked over, leaning in to kiss Dean softly on the lips.

“No kiss daddy! I wan kiss daddy!” Gracie complained as she grabbed the front of Dean’s shirt. He picked her up and held her up in the air so her feet dangled before pretending to drop her. He caught her in the crook of his arm and planted a noisy kiss on her cheek.

“Ewww daddy!” She wiped his kiss off her cheek before doing the same right back to him.

“She looks so much like you Dean.” Cassie said. He could see the wistful look in her eyes as she wondered what her life would have been like had she married Dean. 

“Yeah, she’s my mini me. Next one will be a mini Cas, right babe?” Dean looked at his fiancé with a grin on his face. Cas rolled his eyes and tried not to smile. He failed miserably.

“Isn’t one of me enough?” He asked.

“Nah, I want one with your blue eyes.” Dean said. Cas huffed out a laugh and shook his head.

“How, uh, is Sam? Did he become a lawyer like he always said he would?” Cassie asked.

“Yep, he is practicing criminal law. His girlfriend Jess is a nurse.” Dean replied.

“And what do you do Cas?” She asked.

“I just retired from the Bass City Orchestra. I will be working on a BA in music appreciation and history.” He replied. He slipped an arm around Dean’s waist, pulling him closer.

“I think I saw your orchestra perform for the mayor’s birthday last year. You’re… the cellist, right?” 

Cas smiled and nodded. “Yep, that’s me.”

“That’s quite impressive. I enjoyed the performance very much.” She told him.

“I am quite happy to hear that.” He smiled brightly. Dean could see her practically counting all of the piercings in Cas’ face alone. When his phone buzzed in his pocket he excused himself to step away and check it. 

“Cas! We have to go, now. It’s dad.” 

Cas’ smile fell away, replaced by a look of concern. He took Gracie and handed her to Jo.

“What happened?” 

“He had a seizure. Sam’s on his way there now.” Dean replied. He looked over at Cassie.

“It was great seeing you again hon, but I have to run.”

“I understand. I’m sorry about your dad.” She leaned in to place a quick kiss on his cheek. “Go, your family needs you.” He offered her a small smile before turning his attention to Jo.

“Can you…” She was already nodding. 

“Of course, just keep me updated.”

Cas took Dean’s hand and they took off running. When they reached the Impala Dean handed the keys over.

“I don’t think I can drive.” Cas took them without argument and they got in. It was the longest ride of Dean’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being that John's hospice is located inside a nursing home, the care is not going to be as intense as it would if he were in a hospital. Being that he's at the end of his life doing invasive, expensive procedures are pointless, and basically you can imagine that he has a DNR in place. The seizure medicine is not so much to extend his life as it is to stop frequent seizures so that what time he has left is comfortable. I know from the seizure meds they had my mom on when she was in the hospital that they knock a person out pretty hard. I sat one entire afternoon in the hospital with my mother sound asleep after getting a dose. She never knew that I sat at her side for like seven hours because she was out so hard she didn't even wake when they came to give her insulin or do basic check ups. 
> 
> Cassie is the one person Dean actually developed some feelings for, though he wasn't in love with her, so coming across her again after all these years, he feels guilty, but he never loved her the way she loved him. He also doesn't owe her any explanation for why he didn't love her, and the explanation he gave was mostly because he wanted to, not because he had to. She most likely would have only been further confused and hurt had he tried to explain demisexuality to her, so he just gave her the most basic reason as to why he had broken up with her. For her he had been "the one". So it's a bittersweet reunion. Sorry (not sorry) for the feels there. It doesn't change how he feels about Cas though. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Things are about to get a bit dark though.


	18. Mary Winchester Pays a Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas rush to the nursing home to be with the rest of their family. This is the final hours of John Winchester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for the feels. They'll be bad this chapter and the next one. Keep your tissues handy.

Sam was waiting for them when they got there.

“What exactly happened?” Cas asked as they made their way to John’s room.

“The cancer has spread to nearly every organ, including his brain. It triggered a seizure, or at least that’s what they’re telling us. I want you guys to know, Kate’s here with Adam. I called her. I figured if this is dad’s end, Adam had a right to see him. Ellen and Bobby are on their way. Where’s Gracie?” Sam just realized their daughter wasn’t with them.

“Jo has her.” Dean replied. 

When they reached John’s room everything seemed to slow down. Jess was sitting in the chair by the window. Kate was sitting next to her. Adam was standing by the bed but he looked up when they walked in.

“Dean!” He exclaimed, rushing to his brother’s side. He hugged Dean and the older man hugged him back.

“Hey kiddo, you being good for your mom?” Dean asked him. Adam nodded. He looked up at Cas.

“Who’s this?”

“I’m Cas.” Cas offered his hand and the boy shook it. He looked to Dean for an explanation.

“Cas is my fiancé.” Dean told him. Adam turned his attention back to Cas. For a moment Dean was afraid the kid would say something rude but then he broke out in a goofy smile much like the ones Sam used to have at that age.

“Cool piercings. I want my eyebrow done but mom says not til I’m eighteen.”

“Thanks. How old are you now?” Cas asked.

“Sixteen.” Adam replied proudly.

“Well, how about this. If your mom is worried that someone without proper training might not do it right I will take you to the man that did mine. He strictly does piercings and he is excellent at his job. I go to him for all of mine. Your mom can come with and see what a good guy he is.” Cas offered. Adam nodded enthusiastically.

“Sure!”

Dean had wandered over to his father’s side, leaving Cas to deal with Adam. Sam came to stand next to him.

“Hey.” Dean said across the bed to Kate. She smiled sadly and nodded.

“Hi Dean. How are you holding up sweetie?”

“Um, I’m not really sure right now.” He replied as his eyes filled with tears. He looked down at his father.

“Is he in a coma Sam?”

“As far as I know, no. But the seizure was pretty severe so they medicated him to prevent further ones, and the medication is a heavy sedative, so he’s really out.” Sam replied.

Dean reached down to take his father’s hand between both of his own.

“Dad, we’re here. Me, Sammy, Adam, we’re all here for you.” He sniffled and rubbed his nose against his sleeve. A warm arm snaked its way around his waist and he looked over to see Cas standing on his other side. Dean leaned into him, resting his head on his shoulder. Sam noticed Kate looking curiously at Cas.

“Kate, this is Dean’s fiancé, Castiel. He goes by Cas.” Sam said. He looked at Cas. “Kate is Adam’s mom.”

Cas nodded and smiled softly. “I wish the circumstances were better upon which to meet, but it is still nice meeting you Kate.”

She nodded back. “It’s nice to meet you too Cas.”

Ellen and Bobby walked in. She nodded in Kate’s direction and stopped to plant a kiss on Adam’s cheek before heading over to the bed. Bobby followed her. They looked down at John’s sleeping form for a long time.

“It’s not a coma, is it?” Ellen asked.

“No, seizure meds have him knocked out.” Sam replied. 

“Where’s the baby? With Jo?” Bobby asked. Dean nodded.

“I think John is holding on a bit longer. Wants his whole family here.” Ellen said as she brushed a lock of hair off John’s forehead. Dean looked at Cas.

“He only got to meet her the one time. I’m not exactly crazy about the idea of her seeing her grandfather die, but I think Ellen’s right.” Cas said.

“I’ll tell Jo to bring her.” Sam pulled out his phone and sent a quick text.

“Dad?” Dean rubbed his dad’s hand. John’s eyelids fluttered.

“Dad, can you open your eyes for us?” Dean rubbed a little more firmly. 

“Dean?” His name sounded slurred on his father’s lips.

“Did he have a stroke?” Dean asked, looking at Sam.

“They didn’t say he did. It could just be the meds.”

“Dean? Where’s Cas?” John asked.

“I’m right here John.” Cas placed a hand on the man’s shoulder.

“I-I can’t see you son.” John’s voice broke as his eyes filled with tears.

“Don’t cry dad, we’re here.” Dean pleaded as his own tears began to fall. Sam put his arm around his older brother and squeezed.

“Where’s the baby? She here?” John’s eyes were fighting to stay open.

“What baby is he talking about?” Kate had moved closer, trying to catch what John was saying. Adam had come to stand next to Sam. 

“Our daughter, Gracie. He’s asking for Gracie.” Cas told her.

“At’s her name. Grace Deanna. Pretty name.” John’s words slurred even more. He dozed off again before Jo finally arrived, out of breath and carrying Gracie on one hip.

Dean took his daughter and brought her over to the bed.

“Hey dad, look who’s here, it’s Gracie.” 

John groaned and struggled to open his eyes again.

“Hey princess.” John tried to smile but he was exhausted. Gracie struggled to get out of Dean’s arms and before he could stop her she pushed away, dropping onto the mattress. She crawled up and laid down in the crook of John’s arm. He managed to open his eyes enough that he could make out her form.

“You gonna take a nap with your old grandpa?” He asked her.

“Go night night gampa.” She threw an arm over his chest and closed her eyes. John sighed contentedly.

“Grandpa loves you sweet pea. Always will.” He sighed before slipping back into sleep. Dean just stared at his daughter and father. Sam snapped several pictures.

“What are you doing?” Dean demanded, angry at his brother for doing that.

“I’m capturing the moment your daughter bonded with her grandfather, and it’ll be the only pictures you ever have of the two of them together.” Sam replied calmly. He understood his brother was upset and he kept his tone calm. Dean’s face fell and he let out a choked sob before Cas pulled him into his arms.

“Shhh, it’s alright. I know it’s hard and you don’t want to hear it, but darling, soon he’s going to be right where he has always wanted to be, with Mary. If getting to spend his last few hours with his only grandchild is what gives him the courage to make that transition, then I’m happy we could do this for him.”

Dean clung to his fiancé as though his very life depended on it, and Cas let him. He understood that Dean was in pain and fighting not to completely lose it. 

The next few hours passed by uneventfully. Gracie woke up an hour after laying down though she didn’t try to get up right away. She seemed to understand that her grandpa was sick and he needed her. Instead she laid next to him babbling about puppies and cookies. John was not quite awake but he could hear her and he smiled as he listened to her. 

“She’s so much like you were when you were her age.” Ellen told Dean. A nurse had brought in more chairs and now they were seated around John’s bed. Gracie smiled at her dad before staring past him.

“Oh, pretty!” She gasped. Everyone turned to see what she was looking at but there was nothing there.

“What are you looking at?” Dean asked, searching the corner she was staring at for some sign of what his daughter was seeing.

“Oh! Gamma! ‘S petty gamma!” Gracie sat up, still looking at the corner of the room with a huge smile.

“I-what is she talking about?” Dean looked at the other people in the room, hoping someone knew what was going on. John’s eyes fluttered open and he turned his head to look up at Gracie. A soft smile forming on his lips as he did.

“What’re you looking at pumpkin?” His words were still slurring but he seemed a bit more awake. Gracie looked down at him, her smile growing brighter.

“Hi!” She told him.

John chuckled. “Hi yourself.” He seemed to suddenly realize just how many people were in the room.

“What’re you all doing here?” He spotted Kate, staring for a long moment before his eyes sought out his youngest son. “Adam?”

“Hey dad.” Adam forced a smile, glancing over at his two older brothers. Sam placed a warm hand on his back for comfort.

“It’s good…to see you son.” 

Kate and John had not gotten on well in the last few years, mostly due to John’s drinking and she had cut off communication between her son and his father, wanting to spare him the hell John’s older boys had experienced growing up. It had come as a shock when Sam had called out of the blue to tell her what was happening. She had put aside her own feelings for the sake of her child, not wanting to deny him a last chance to see his father. She stood now at the foot of his bed, her eyes filled with tears. She had not only cut her son off from John but from his brothers as well, and she felt like an ass for it. He was missing out on his family. How long had it been since she had last seen Dean or Sam? Apparently long enough for Dean to get engaged and have a baby. The child was beautiful, clearly Dean’s, and babbling to John about what sounded to her like a trip to the park. He was trying to stay awake and listen to what she was saying.

“What was that about a swing?” John asked.

“I took her to the park.” Jo said. 

“Ah, but her papa was chasing her?” 

“Yes, I was. We met Jo there and I was running around with her.” Cas replied.

John smiled a little wider. “I did that with all of my boys when they were that age. You need to do that as often as you can. They don’t stay this little for long.” 

“I know. We’re going to cherish every single moment.” Cas told him. 

“I think I’m going to take a nap.” John yawned, his eyes sliding shut again.

“You do that dad. Get as much rest as you need.” Sam told him.

Despite the scare, John did not die that day. Slowly people began to filter out of the room, heading home or out to get something to eat. Charlie came and picked Gracie up, taking her back to her own apartment since Jo had to get to work. She left with Ellen but Bobby stayed. Kate got ready to leave but Adam refused to go.

“I can drop him off later, or he can spend the night with Jess and me.” Sam told her. Kate nodded. Adam needed his brothers.

“Sure. Just…keep me updated, ok?”

Sam nodded, giving the woman a hug. He wished, not for the first time that his father’s drinking hadn’t been so bad when he was growing up. Kate could have been his mom too and he thought he could have grown to love her. She hugged Dean and Cas as well, despite not getting a formal introduction to the man with all the tattoos and piercings. She hugged her own son the longest, whispering words of comfort in his ear before leaving the Winchester boys alone with their father. Dean moved to the chair Jess had left behind when she had decided to leave earlier with Charlie. Sam took Kate’s chair. The room was quiet, no one wanting to really talk and break the silence. It was nearing ten before Sam decided he should head home.

“You ready to go bud?” He asked his little brother. Adam had snagged a chair from the hall and was sitting with his knees up against the bed and his head resting on the mattress. He lifted his head to look at his brothers.

“Yeah, I guess. But, can we come back in the morning?”

Sam nodded. “Of course.”

Adam stood up, stretching and yawning.

“We’ll see you tomorrow kiddo.” Dean said.

“Yeah, see you in the morning.” Adam turned to look at their father who was still sleeping soundly and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Love you dad.” He whispered softly. Sam stopped to kiss John’s forehead as well before patting Cas on the arm and leaving. Cas had been leaning against the wall by the head of the bed but he moved to sit in Sam’s abandoned seat.

“Baby? How are you doing there?” He leaned his elbows on his knees and looked at Dean. Dean sighed and shrugged.

“I just wish we weren’t in this situation at all. I wish he’d made better life choices and been a better dad so that he would be here to see our wedding and Sam’s, and hell, even Adam’s someday. And to see his grandchildren grow up. But he’s not, and he was an awful person, and unfortunately a shitty excuse for a father, and I feel like I should still resent him for the way he treated me and Sam, but I can’t find it in my heart to do so. Sam was able to turn off his feelings but I never could. I had the longest time with him. I remember him before my mom died. He was loving and patient, and just…everything a good dad is. After mom died though he fell so completely apart, and not even Kate could put him back together, not that she didn’t try. Sam wanted a normal family life so bad when we were kids. He latched on to Kate and wanted her to love him and treat him like he was her own. I…never gave her the chance she deserved. I regret that now since I never really got to know Adam as well as I would like. She’s a good woman, and she was fair and kind to both Sam and me, but dad’s drinking never stopped, and when Adam was three she told dad to leave. We had to go with him, he wouldn’t let us stay. She would have let us too. You know the rest. We fought, his drinking got worse as did his violence, and I did what I had to in order to protect my brother. We went to live with Ellen and Bobby and that was when things finally started to look up. Bobby taught me how to deal with my anger and how to be mature and responsible, and how to deal with my pain. You wouldn’t have liked me when I was a teenager. I was a very angry person.”

Dean rubbed hard at his face and looked over at his father.

“What do you think Gracie was looking at earlier?” He asked.

“I have a theory, but I’m not sure it’s something you’ll believe.” Cas said. Dean looked at him.

“Try me.”

Cas sat back and sighed before trying to explain.

“So you know where I stand on religion. I am a firm believer in God, the angels, heaven, the whole nine yards. There are some that believe that just before a person passes, their loved ones come to guide them home. Sometimes they come a few weeks before that person is ready to go, sometimes it happens just a few hours or minutes before. I felt another presence here in the room. And the fact that Gracie referred to the person as grandma leads me to believe that your mom was here. It make sense though. If your parents were as in love as you say they were, then she would be the one to come and guide him home.”

Dean stared at him for a long time as he tried to process what Cas was saying. He didn’t exactly doubt the existence of a God, he was just skeptical on the idea of there being a place people went after they died. It was equally strange to believe that people had the ability to come back to visit those they left behind. It had been weird watching his daughter talking to someone that wasn’t actually there. He wondered if it was possible that he was wrong.

“Yeah, if I believed in the afterlife, maybe. She did love my dad very much.” 

Cas wasn’t going to press the subject. If Dean was going to believe at all it wasn’t because someone forced the information down his throat, it would be because he found a reason to believe. John stirred in the bed.

“Mary, no…not ready yet.” The man murmured. Dean’s eyes widened and he stood up, approaching the bed. The hairs on his arms stood up the closer he got and he looked back at Cas who was coming to stand next to him. He reached over to take Dean’s hand.

“I think your mom is here right now.” He whispered.

“That’s not possible!” Dean whispered back.

“Dean? ‘S time is it?” John forced his eyes open and squinted up at his son.

Dean checked the time on his phone. “It’s almost midnight.”

“Son, you can’t be up this late, your mama and I have work in the morning. Take your tail back to bed now.” John said. Dean looked over at Cas, his eyes brimming with tears. 

“Shhh, it’s ok. He’s experiencing happy memories.” Cas whispered as he pulled Dean close.

“Yes sir, I’ll go back to bed.” Dean told his father. John smiled. 

“Good boy. Don’t wake your brother.”

“I won’t. I love you dad.”

“Love you too son.” John sighed. He drifted off again and Dean buried his face in Cas’ neck. It was too much to bear.

“He’s not ready to go yet. Let’s go home, get a couple hours of sleep and come back in the morning with your brothers, ok?” Cas wanted Dean to at least try to sleep. If they stayed here that wasn’t going to happen. Dean would try to keep a vigil all night.

“Alright.” Dean conceded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So John is dying, his time is almost at a close, and Dean is struggling not to have a breakdown. Heavy on the feels for this chapter and the next one. Leave a comment as usual, let me know what you think. Love you guys!!!


	19. Hey Jude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean suffers the first of several panic attacks, and picks a fight with Cas. The Winchester boys visit John in his final hour, and Dean begins a spiral down into depression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grab your tissues, you're gonna need them.

Dean didn’t think he’d be able to get any sleep at all but by the time they got back to the apartment he was exhausted. It felt empty now without Gracie there. He texted Charlie to make sure everything was ok and she texted him back to let him know that Gracie was asleep in her pack and play in Charlie’s bedroom. 

“Sweetheart, go brush your teeth, take a shower if you need to. I’ll go turn down the bed.” Cas said as he headed for the bedroom.

“Who even says that anymore?” Dean asked with a short laugh. Cas just grinned before disappearing into the bedroom. 

Dean took his fiancé’s advice and got in the shower. The hot water helped to ease most of the tension from his muscles but he still felt weirdly numb. His thoughts turned to Cas. What would his life be like if he lost Cas? Would he dissolve into a mess like his father had? What kind of father would he end up being to Gracie if he lost Cas? What…if he ever lost Gracie? As he let this paranoid train of thought take over he could feel his anxiety building. His chest grew tight and he started having trouble breathing. He leaned back against the shower wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest. The tears began to fall and he couldn’t stop them.

That was how Cas found him twenty minutes later, sitting under the now cold stream of water, gasping for air and shaking so bad he was almost convulsing.

“Dean, baby, what’s wrong?!” Cas lunged into the shower, ignoring the icy water that hit the bare skin of his back. He dragged Dean out and wrapped him in a towel before turning the water off. Dean still had not responded, he was staring off into the distance, his lips trembling and his body shaking. Cas sat down on the floor and pulled the taller man into his arms.

“Talk to me baby, what’s wrong?” He pleaded. He was scared. Nothing like this had ever happened before and he wasn’t sure what to do. After a few minutes the shaking began to subside some and Dean turned a bit in his arms so that he could wrap his arms around Cas’ waist.

“D-don’t l-leave m-me…” He begged.

“I’m not going anywhere Dean. I promise you that.” Cas held Dean close even after his own back began to spasm and his legs began to ache from sitting on the floor. When the trembling finally stopped he pressed a kiss to Dean’s forehead.

“Come on babe, let’s get you into bed where it’s warm and comfortable.”

He helped Dean to his feet and led him into the bedroom. Dean let himself be maneuvered and Cas decided trying to encourage the man to dress in pajamas was more work than he was wanting to deal with tonight, so he just tucked the naked man into bed and covered him up to his chin before sliding into the bed with him. Dean let out a pathetic little whimper that further worried Cas as he wrapped himself around the man.

“I’ve got you Dean, go to sleep.” Cas dragged the tips of his fingers up and down Dean’s back until he felt the other man finally relaxed. He knew the minute Dean finally dropped off and he nestled even closer. He had the feeling it was going to be a long night and he needed as much as sleep as he could get.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dean’s sleep was plagued by nightmares and he woke before the sun was fully risen with a scream dying on his lips. Cas pulled him close and he melted into the man’s touch.

“Talk to me baby, what was that last night?” Cas asked softly.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist and buried his face against his chest.

“I let my brain go off in a direction it shouldn’t have, and I had a panic attack.” 

“I got the attack part, but what triggered it? What were you thinking about?” Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, soothing him.

“I was thinking of how things fell apart after my mom died and…I got scared. I thought about what it would be like for me…for Gracie if I lost you. I can’t lose you Cas. I just can’t!” He tightened his hold on his fiancé.

“You’re not going to lose me Dean, I’m not going anywhere.” Cas said in the same soothing tone he’d been using since last night.

“You don’t know that though! I just can’t!” Dean could feel his panic rising again as his chest tightened painfully. Cas realized he wasn’t talking about them breaking up but about Cas dying.

“Oh, baby, no. I’m fine, you’re fine, but we can’t live our lives worrying about the ‘what ifs’. We need to live our lives to the fullest and garner as much happiness as we possibly can. I love you so much. We’re both careful in everything we do, and as long as we continue to be careful, we’ll be ok.”

Cas was at a loss. Dean was crying again, though he was doing it quietly and other than holding him close he didn’t know what to do. Dean’s phone rang somewhere in another room.

“I’m going to go get that. I’ll be right back.” Cas said. Dean loosened his hold and went in search of the phone.

The cellphone was still in the back pocket of the pants Dean had abandoned on the bathroom floor. Cas found it and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Cas?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, is everything ok?”

“We’re on our way to see dad now. Are you guys there yet?”

Cas looked down at his mostly naked body. He was dressed only in boxers.

“Uh, no. Dean had a really rough night. Is he prone to anxiety attacks?” 

“He had a few as a kid, mostly when our dad would go on a rampage and then disappear for weeks on end. But to my knowledge he hasn’t had any in years.” Sam replied.

“Oh. Cause he had one last night in the shower and I actually had to drag him out and put him to bed once I calmed him down, and he’s working his way through another one now. I think he’s scared he’ll lose me, like John lost Mary.” Cas looked back towards the bedroom. Dean wasn’t making any noise in there.

“Oh, shit. Is he ok?” 

“Honestly, I don’t think so. This situation with your dad, it’s taking a toll on him. I think I’m going to see if I can get him to see a therapist.” Cas sighed.

“Good luck with that. Dean doesn’t talk about his feelings, with anyone.” Sam said.

“He does with me.” Cas insisted.

“Then count yourself lucky. I’ve tried for years to get him to open up to me about things that bother him but he won’t.”

“I’ll talk to him again, see what I can figure out. I’m worried about him.” Cas moved to the bedroom doorway to see Dean sitting up in bed staring straight ahead at the wall.

“Yeah, well, let me know what you can get him to do. I worry about him too.” 

“We’ll be there as soon as we can.” Cas said.

“Alright. If anything…well, you know. I’ll call you.”

“Thanks.” Cas hung up the phone and walked over to the bed.

“Dean? Baby, look at me.” Cas crawled across the bed and Dean looked up at him. The circles under his eyes were dark and his normally beautiful green eyes were haunted.

“It’s time to go?”

“In a minute. First, tell me what exactly scared you so bad. What can I do to help?” Cas moved closer and Dean leaned his head against his chest.

“That’s just it. I don’t know what you can do, or what anyone can do. I guess I just have abandonment issues. I’ve tried for years to pretend they weren’t there, but they are. I fuck up Cas, I lose people I care about. I-I don’t think I could keep going if I lost you.”

Cas cringed internally hearing those words coming from the lips of the man he loved more than anything in the world.

“Dean, I think it would be wise to see someone, to talk about it. You’ve held it in for so long, and you’re so strong. It’s one of the things I admire most about you, but baby, our daughter needs you well and happy. I need you to be well and happy. If you’re constantly worrying about losing me, you’re never really going to be happy.”

“Are you talking like a shrink?” Dean sat back and when he looked up Cas could see the skepticism on his face.

“A therapist. They will keep everything confidential and you can not only vent, but they’ll help you figure out ways to deal with your anxiety and fears, in a positive way.” Cas explained.

“I’m not some nut job Cas, I don’t need my head shrunk!” Dean pushed away and moved to the edge of the bed so that he was sitting with his back to Cas.

“Is that what you think of me? Am I just some nut job to you?”

Dean turned around to see Cas sitting in the middle of the bed, his eyes red rimmed and his gaze icy.

“What are you-”

“Did you forget? I had to endure YEARS of therapy to get over the shit my father put me through. I didn’t realize that wanting to get better, to see myself as someone that others could accept and love, and learning to love myself in the process made me a nutjob!” Cas spat as he got up from the bed.

“I get it, you’re upset about your dad but that really fucking hurt Dean.” Cas turned and marched out of the room. A moment later Dean flinched as the bathroom door slammed shut.

“I fuck everything up.” Dean muttered to himself. But this? This he could fix. He jumped up and started for the bathroom before he realized he was naked. Backtracking to grab a pair of boxers, he put them on and made his way to the bathroom. The door didn’t lock but he still knocked.

“What!” Cas snapped.

Dean refused to let Cas push him away. He opened the door and stuck his head in. Cas was sitting on the edge of the tub, elbows balanced on his knees, his head in his hands. Dean moved to kneel in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I do not think you are a nut job. I think you are the most amazing man I know. I wish I had your kind of strength. I’m sorry I said that. I was angry at myself, not you. The way I was raised…” Dean sighed. Cas lifted his eyes to meet his gaze.

“We were raised like soldiers. Emotions were for girls, you didn’t share and you certainly didn’t talk to outsiders about anything going on in your life. It was another of the many flaws of John Winchester, and it’s a hard one for me to shake. Expressing your feelings meant you were weak in his book and I have tried for so long to be strong. If…”

Dean winced as the next words came out. “You want me to see a therapist, I will. But on one condition.”

Cas nodded. “Anything.”

“No one knows about it, except you. Not Sammy, not Charlie, no one. Unless I feel like telling them.”

Cas cupped Dean’s face between his hands and kissed him gently. “I just want you to not be crippled by your fears like I was. Gracie and me, we need you babe.”

Dean got to his feet and pulled Cas up and into his arms. They stood there for a long time just holding one another.

“We have to get going, Sam and Adam are already there and waiting.” Cas finally said. 

“Alright. We can do breakfast on the way, not that I have much of an appetite. But I need coffee, I slept like shit.” Dean said as they went back to the bedroom to get dressed.

“I agree on the coffee. And we need to call Charlie, to check on Gracie.” Cas was dressed first, finding one of Dean’s tee shirts to pair with a looser pair of his own jeans. Dean put on a Henley and jeans before following Cas out of the apartment. It was going to be a long day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charlie met them at the nursing home with Gracie and the little girl practically flew into her father’s arms. 

“Daddy!” She wrapped her arms around Dean’s neck and kissed his cheek.

“Hey princess, were you good for Auntie Charlie?” He asked. She nodded.

“I good girl.” She spotted Cas and reached for him. “Papa!”

Cas smiled at the sight of his daughter reaching for him and he picked her up, kissing her cheek.

“Was she a good girl?” Dean asked as they all started inside.

“She likes to get into things, but for the most part yes, she was good. I might have to buy a new deck of Magic cards, but otherwise it was a pretty uneventful evening.” Charlie replied as they made their way through the building to John’s room. Sam looked up, the relief on his face apparent when he saw them.

“You brought Gracie?” He asked, surprised to see his niece with them.

“For a little while. If this is his end she deserves to spend as much time as possible with him too.” Cas said. Sam sighed and turned back to look at his dad. John was sleeping still.

“Gampa, I see gampa!” Gracie was struggling to get out of Cas’ arms so he lowered her onto the bed with John.

“Hush baby girl, grandpa’s sleeping. Be careful.” He told her. She crawled slowly up the bed, nestling down in the crook of John’s arm just as she had done the day before.

“Shh!” She looked right at Sam as she said it. Adam snickered.

“I didn’t think it was that long since I last saw you. When did you have a kid?” He asked.

“I’ll give you the abbreviated version. Maybe later, when we get the time I’ll tell you the whole story but…I dated this girl a few years ago and we broke up, but she was pregnant when we split and she hid it from me. I just found out about Gracie after her mom died. We went to pick her up.” Dean replied.

“And so you’re both her dads now?” Adam looked between Dean and Cas.

“Yes. We’re getting married in December, and I’d like it if you stood up for me as one of my groomsmen, with Sam. I’d like both my brothers there.” Dean said. The grin on Adam’s face nearly went from ear to ear.

“Sure thing! I know my mom won’t say no to that. She loves you guys you know.”

Sam looked at Dean and they shared a smile.

“You know, I don’t have anyone but the guys in the band, and I really only want Balthazar.” Cas complained.

“I’m standing up, or else I’m lopping Dean’s knee caps off.” Charlie crossed her arms and glared at Dean.

“Of course you are, you’re the closest thing I have to a sister. Besides Jo, and she’s standing up too. She just doesn’t know it yet.” Dean laughed softly. Sam and Cas did the same.

“Daddy! Bad boy! Shh!” Gracie chastised. 

“I’m sorry princess.” Dean apologized.

“I’m going to go grab us all some coffee. I’ll be back in a little while.” Charlie said softly so as not to upset Gracie. Sam and Dean both nodded.  
John stirred in the bed, his eyes slowly opening. He felt the warm lump against his arm and looked down to see his granddaughter curled up against him.

“Well hi.” He smiled at her.

“Hi.” She gave him her cheesiest smile.

“Thank you for bringing her.” John said yawning. He blinked and squinted as he looked at each of his sons.

“Adam?” He seemed to have forgotten that he had just seen his youngest son the night before.

“Yeah dad.” Adam took the hand John was trying to lift off the bed as he reached out to him. 

“How’ve you been son?”

“I’ve been good.” Adam replied, his smile was forced but John didn’t seem to notice.

“Good, I’m sorry I didn’t get to take you to that game. I…couldn’t get off work that day.” John yawned again. Sam looked at Adam with a puzzled expression but Adam just shrugged. He didn’t know what their dad was talking about either.

Gracie started babbling again and John smiled, turning his head to listen to her talk.

“I tee da TV, n I got juice!” She declared.

“That’s wonderful! Was it good juice?” John asked her.

“Yes! ‘S nummy!”

John chuckled. “I wish I could be around to see this munchkin grow up. I’ll just have to watch over her.”

“I see gamma. Petty gamma.” Gracie suddenly said. Dean felt the hairs rising on his arms. He looked at Cas who’s eyebrows were raised, his gaze locked on their daughter who was now babbling to the empty corner again. Even Adam and Sam were watching her.

“What is she…” Sam didn’t finish the sentence. Cas was motioning for him to be quiet so he simply closed his mouth and looked curiously at his niece.

“You see grandma? She over there again?” John asked the child. Gracie nodded.

“She petty. Hair petty. Say, hi Gracie! Gamma loves you Gracie!” The little girl sounded like she was repeating something someone had said to her.

“Yes, your grandma and your grandpa both love you, don’t we Mary?” Now John was talking to the empty corner. Dean leaned towards Cas, his eyes wide. Cas put his arm around him and pulled him closer.

“Is, uh, mom here right now?” Sam asked as he met Dean’s gaze.

“She’s right there Sammy.” John nodded again towards the empty corner.

“Daddy, gamma sing petty.” Gracie turned her head to look up at Dean.

“Oh…yeah? What is she singing?” Dean wasn’t sure he was buying into the idea that his mother was in the room but he had to admit he was curious. 

Gracie began to hum, though no one could make out the tune. 

“Don make it bad…make a sad…song! ‘N make it better…” She began to sing off key and Dean let out a choked sob.

“Oh my God!”

“Is she…singing Hey Jude?” Cas asked. He wondered if it was something Kelly had sung to her.

“My mom! She used to sing that to me when I was little and I couldn’t sleep!” Dean clamped a shaky hand over his mouth and stared even harder at the empty corner. He leaned his forehead against Cas’ shoulder as his entire body began to tremble.

Sam was staring at his niece with eyes as large as saucers. He didn’t remember hearing Mary sing that song but Dean had sung it to him often enough that he immediately recognized the tune.

“See love you too Sammy!” Gracie giggled and clapped her hands together. John smiled and sighed.

“Mmmk love, I’m ready.” John’s voice was soft, barely a whisper but they all heard it. 

John closed his eyes, his breathing evening out. Gracie turned to look at him, She was staring intently at his face as it smoothed out, all the years of worry fading away as he relaxed and let go.

“Oh…gampa….” Gracie’s lower lip quivered and she looked up at Dean with tears in her eyes.

“Daddy, up!” She held out her arms, making grabby hands and he scooped her up to cradle her between his own body and Cas’.

“Dad?” Adam placed a hand on John’s chest. “Dad?” He shook John gently. He looked up with tears in his eyes. Sam quickly got up to pull the boy into his arms.

“It’s ok, he’s not hurting anymore.” Sam told his younger brother.

“Daddy…gampa bye bye.” Gracie sniffled and leaned her head on Cas’ chest.

“I know angel girl. He’s with grandma now.” Dean’s voice cracked as the tears began to fall.

“Honey, I’m going to get the nurse.” Cas pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple.

“Yeah, ok.” Dean nodded and clung to his daughter as Cas moved towards the door. Once Cas had left the room Dean moved around the bed to pull his brothers into a hug. That was how they were still standing when Cas returned with a nurse.

“Come on, let’s go to the lounge.” Cas guided his fiancé and his future brothers in law out of the room and down the hall to the empty lounge. The three men sat together on the couch, each lost in their own grief yet clinging to one another. Gracie sat facing Dean, her head resting on his chest. She seemed to understand her father’s mood and was content just to play with the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m going to call everyone and let them know.” Cas said, though the others weren’t really listening. Dean nodded absently and Sam just hugged Adam and pulled him closer.

Cas stepped into the hall and made the necessary calls. Charlie arrived with a carrier full of coffee, spotting him outside the lounge instead of John’s room.

“Is he…” She glanced back towards the room where the door was now closed. Cas nodded.

“Yeah.” 

Charlie squeezed his arm before heading into the lounge. Cas dialed Ellen’s number first, leaving it up to her to tell Bobby. He placed a quick call to Benny and after getting the number from Sam, he called Kate as well. When the last call was made he returned to the lounge. Charlie and Dean were talking quietly while Sam paced the back of the room. From his tone Cas inferred that he was talking to Jess. Adam had moved closer to Dean where he was leaning against his older brother and listening to Charlie talk. Dean had one arm around Adam and one rubbing up and down Gracie’s back. She was still sitting with her head on her dad’s chest but she looked up when Cas walked in.

“Papa, up?” She held her arms out and he picked her up. He then sat down on the other side of Adam.

“Are your parents alive?” 

Cas looked up to see that Adam had turned to face him.

“As far as I know, yes. I am not on speaking terms with them.”

“Was your dad an alcoholic too?” Adam asked.

“No, my father is just a controlling and homophobic. We…didn’t see eye to eye, so I left.”

Cas didn’t want to burden this kid with his sob story.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my mom.” Adam’s voice broke and his eyes filled with tears. 

“Your mom isn’t going anywhere. And you have two older brothers that love you very much. Don’t forget that. And you’re an uncle.”

Cas turned to his daughter who was watching Adam, her expression full of curiosity.

“Gracie, this is your Uncle Adam.”

“Hi.” She offered her uncle a cheesy smile. He smiled back in spite of his tears.

“Hi Gracie.”

“I hungy.” She announced, directing her words at Adam.

“You’re hungry?”

She nodded and patted her tummy.

“Can I take her to go find a vending machine or maybe something in the cafeteria?” Adam asked Cas.

“Sure.” He fished his wallet out and handed the boy a $10. “She likes fruit, toast, that kind of stuff. Don’t let her eat too much chocolate or candy.”

Adam nodded and stood up. He held out a hand to Gracie. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” Gracie squealed happily and climbed down from Cas’ lap. She took Adam’s hand and let him lead her out of the room.

“Where are they going?” Dean asked.

“To get something to eat, Gracie’s hungry. They’re going to the cafeteria.” Cas moved closer, putting his arm around Dean and accepting the cup of coffee Charlie offered him. 

When Sam got off the phone he returned to the couch, sitting down next to Cas.

“Jess is on her way here to pick Adam and me up. You gonna be ok Dean?” Sam asked.

Dean picked up the coffee cup Charlie had given him and sipped at it for a moment. 

“I honestly don’t know how I am supposed to feel right now.” He replied. Cas rubbed his shoulder and Dean leaned his head on his fiancé’s shoulder. 

“It’s ok to be sad. He was your dad.” Cas told him. Dean nodded but said nothing.

“Do you want me to take Gracie again?” Charlie asked.

“Why don’t you bring her back to our place? I think we’d like to get back to our usual routine later today.” Cas told her. 

“I can do that.” She sipped at her coffee and looked at Sam. “Hey big guy, how are you doing?”

Sam sighed deeply and shook his head. “I’m not sure. I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet. I didn’t expect him to pass that quickly, or even that peacefully.”

“If you need me, for anything, you just pick up the phone and call me, ok?” She squeezed his knee and he gave her a tight lipped smile. She could see the tears shimmering in his eyes as he turned away.

Dean set his coffee on the table next to the couch and wrapped his arms around Cas. Right then he just needed to be held. Cas was happy to oblige. Adam and Gracie returned a few minutes later and Dean had to smile when he saw his little girl had a Pop Tart in one hand and an orange in the other.

“They’re a bit limited on what they offer people that don’t live here full time.” Adam said.

“I ha a ball papa!” Gracie held the orange out to Cas and he took it, handing it to Dean who held out his hands for it.

“That’s an orange, princess. Uncle Adam got you a yummy orange to eat.” Cas told her. Dean peeled the orange and handed her a slice. She chewed it carefully.

“Is nummy.” She decided and held her hand out for another. 

“I don’t think there’s much she won’t eat.” Cas mused. 

“I agree.” Dean said with a small laugh. Gracie alternated between bites of her strawberry pastry and her orange. When she was done she found Adam and crawled up into his lap, much to his surprise.

“You want to go home?” Cas asked softly. Dean nodded.

“I can’t be in this place much longer.”

“I’ll handle the paperwork, you guys go on.” Sam told them as they stood up.

“Thanks Sammy. I’m just…not in the right frame of mind to deal right now.” Dean said.

“Come on munchkin, let’s go.” Charlie took Gracie’s hand and waited for her to slide off Adam’s lap.

“Can I come over maybe? Not right now, but like, sometimes? Spend some time with you guys?” Adam asked.

“Of course. We’re working on buying a house right now but once we’re in and settled you can come and stay as often as you like.” Cas told him. Adam smiled.

“Good. I-I want to know my brothers better.”

“You’re always welcome man. I’ll talk to your mom too.” Dean told him.

He leaned down to give his brother a hug and Adam hugged him back just as tight.

Be good for your mom, she’s a great woman.” Dean told him.

“I will.”

Cas led Dean out to the car while Charlie took Gracie in hers. Cas got behind the wheel and Dean slunk down in his seat, resting his head on the window.

“Baby, it’s going to be ok.” Cas reached over to take his hand.

“Yeah, logically I know that, but…” He looked over at Cas and there were tears in his eyes.

“How soon can we find that therapist?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm sucker punching you all right in the feels, but really, it'll get better. I can't say when exactly, but it will.
> 
> I hope you guys like the chapter, and I hope you didn't use up an entire box of tissues. I love you guys! Leave a comment, let me know what you think.


	20. Gracie's Artwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gracie is a typical two year old, Dean starts therapy, and they get some good news.
> 
> Someone comes to pay Cas a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Domesticity to temper the previous two chapters that made everyone cry. Sorry it's shorter. Enjoy!
> 
> No tissues needed for this chapter! ;)

The next few weeks were a blur for Dean. Sam handled most of the arrangements for the wake and funeral as he was the calmest, and John was buried on a warm Sunday afternoon in late August. Cas found a therapist that Dean agreed to go to, and he had his first session a week after his father was buried. 

The first week of September Dean returned to work and Cas started college. There was a daycare on the college campus that Cas dropped Gracie off at for a few hours every day while he was in class, and picked her up every afternoon when he was finished. They were still hashing out details on an offer for the house and they were both losing patience. They had hoped to be in the house before Dean started back to work but the owners were being difficult. They had finally decided the house wasn’t worth the stress and were planning to call Becky and tell her they were withdrawing their offer when she called to tell them that the owners had decided to accept their original offer. Sam and Jess had already closed on their house three weeks earlier and with help from family and friends were now settled in their new home. It was a Wednesday afternoon that they got the good news.

Dean walked in the door and smiled as he heard the music playing. It was classical but somewhere in the apartment he could hear Cas playing the cello. He followed the sound to their bedroom where he found Cas sitting in the desk chair, shirtless, with his eyes closed. He was playing along to a song playing over their stereo system. Gracie was sitting on the floor staring up at her papa with rapt attention. 

Cas was beautiful as he played, getting lost in the music and Dean loved watching him. He was able to watch for a solid ten minutes before his phone began to ring in his pocket. Cas’ bow paused over the strings and his eyes opened. He smiled up at his fiancé.

Dean pulled the phone from his pocket, sighing heavily when he saw it was Becky. He braced himself, expecting yet another rejection.

“Hello?”

“Hi Dean! Becky Rosen here! I have some fabulous news! The sellers have accepted your original offer!” She shrieked in his ear. He actually had to hold the phone away from his ear in order to keep his eardrum intact. He looked at Cas and made sure he was listening.

“So the house is ours? You’re certain?” 

“Yes! If you come on down to the office tomorrow we can finalize the paperwork and get you guys settled in your new home within the week!”

Cas was already on his feet and hurrying over. Dean smiled when he saw the excitement on his face.

“Sounds good Becky, we’ll be there tomorrow evening.” He told her.

“Alrighty, see you then!”

As soon as he had hung up the phone Cas was grabbing the front of his shirt excitedly.

“They accepted our bid? The house is ours?”

Dean nodded and pulled Cas into a bear hug.

“It’s ours!”

“Daddy! Papa! Me too!” Gracie was trying to push between them so Cas leaned down to pick her up. He swung her around in the air, delighting at the way she squealed.

“We’re moving baby girl! You’re going to have a big bedroom all your own, and a big backyard too! And a puppy! Daddy said we can get a puppy!”

Gracie’s face lit up. “Puppy! I wanna puppy!”

Dean shot Cas a death glare but the other man ignored it. “Way to team up against me.”

“You love us.” Cas blew him a kiss. 

Dean rolled his eyes and took off his jacket. Cas took Gracie to the kitchen for a snack so Dean could change out of his work clothes. He had therapy at six but first he needed to get dinner in the oven and grade some papers. As he walked out of the bedroom he heard Cas talking animatedly. When he reached the kitchen he found Cas opening a package of freeze dried apples for Gracie while he talked on the phone.

“Yes! The house is perfect too, I can’t wait to have you and the band over. It has a full basement too and we’re still deciding what we want to do with it.” 

Cas nodded at Dean and mouthed Balthazar’s name. Dean nodded and took the bag of apples to hand a couple to Gracie. She hurried off to find a toy to play with while Dean closed the apple bag and handed it back to Cas. He opened the freezer to pull out a lasagna he had prepared the weekend before. It was only going on three but if he popped it in now it would be ready by five. Cas was still talking to Balthazar as he left the room. Dean had just set the oven to pre-heat when his own phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Dean honey? My sister is coming into town next weekend and I was wondering if I could steal Gracie for the afternoon. I’ve been talking nonstop about her and she is dying to meet the little angel. I figured I would call you now and ask.” Ellen was saying.

“Sure. I’ll let Cas know. Hey, guess what?” He was excited and wanted to tell someone. A call to Sam was next on his list but since Ellen was calling now, he told her first.

“What?”

“We got the house! The one on Pearl street, across from Sammy and Jess!”

“Oh baby that’s wonderful news! That’s almost within walking distance from our house too! I’ll get to see you more often!” Ellen cried. Dean couldn’t help the dopey grin on his face.

“Yep. We’ll be doing lots of barbecues, the yard is huge!” 

“I can’t wait to see it, when do you close?”

“We’re going down tomorrow to talk to the realtor and sign the papers. I have to get Cas to stop at the bank tomorrow while I’m at work. He gets out of class an hour before I get home.” He told her. Movement across the room caught his attention and he looked up to see Cas in the fridge. He waved to catch his attention and shook a finger at him, warning him not to eat. Cas frowned and closed the fridge.

“Well, as soon as you have the keys I want a tour.” She said.

“Of course mama. I gotta go. If I don’t tell Sammy right away he’ll throw a hissy fit.” He laughed.

“Yes, he will. Alright, give Cas and that baby a kiss for me. I love you all.” 

“Love you too El.”

He hung up and stuck the phone in his pocket. He’d call Sam in a minute.

“I’m making a lasagna, what are you doing in the fridge?” Dean asked.

Cas smiled sheepishly as he walked over to him. He pulled Dean into his arms and kissed his cheek.

“I forgot tonight is an early dinner night, and I forgot to eat lunch earlier. I’ll just have an apple until dinner.”

Dean relaxed and wrapped his arms around Cas. “Damn right you’ll only have an apple. I didn’t spend half of last Saturday preparing meals for the week for nothing.”

“You’re teaching me to cook when we move into the house.” Cas told him.

“After I teach you how to install hardwood floors.”

Cas stuck out his lower lip in a pout and Dean nipped playfully at it.

“Hey, where’s Gracie?” Cas asked.

“Living room.” Dean replied. 

Cas went in search of their daughter while Dean stuck the lasagna in the oven and set the timer. 

“Dean, can you take the princess here and give her a bath please?” Cas called out.

“This early?” Dean came around the corner into the living room and froze, his jaw dropping. 

“Oh sh-” He caught himself. “Is that my red marker from my bag?” Dean rushed forward to where his bag and its contents lay spread out across the floor by the front door. His marker for grading was missing. He turned back to where Cas now held up Gracie. Who had drawn all over her face and arms with his marker.

Fuck, he thought. He was about to ask why Cas couldn’t give her the bath when he caught sight of the couch, the coffee table, and the floor. Gracie’s artwork was everywhere.

“What did you do?” He asked in a mock stern voice as he took his daughter to the bathroom.

“I petty. I ha peetures, like papa.” She held out her arms so Dean could see the doodles that covered them.

“Pictures? Oh…you mean papa’s tattoos…” Dean groaned inwardly as he started the water and stripped off Gracie’s clothes. She was a talented kid, she even had scribbles across her chest and belly. He got her into the tub and did his best to scrub the marker off without hurting her. Cas was going to have a hell of a time explaining this to her preschool teacher in the morning. 

Overall Dean was pleased with how much of the marker he was able to get off his daughter. The marks were still there but they were faint. He got her dried off and she pointed at the toilet.

“I gotta pee pee daddy.” 

He grinned and put on the little seat they had bought that fit on the toilet and set her down on it. Cas walked in and smiled.

“Have you been working with her?” Dean asked him.

“Yes. Her teacher Ms. April has been working with her and says she’s using the toilet at least once every day, so when we get home from school, I take her in here to go potty. She didn’t’ go earlier but if she goes now, that will be twice today.” Cas replied.

A moment later they heard the tinkling noise. Gracie clapped excitedly.

“Yay!” She cried.

“Good girl! Daddy’s so proud of you!” Dean clapped with her.

After her time on the potty Dean got her into her room and dressed. When they came out he found Cas with a bucket of water and a soapy sponge working on the couch cushion.  
“It’s not coming out.” Cas frowned as he scrubbed harder.

“It needs to come off the floor or I have to eat the deposit.” Dean told him.

“I got it up from the floor, and the table. I’m just glad she didn’t go at the walls or we’d have to paint.” Cas gave the cushion another good scrub but it was pointless. It wasn’t coming out of the cream colored fabric.

“How about this couch goes on the back porch at the house? With a cover?” Cas asked, tossing the wet cushion on top of the coffee table.

“I was planning on getting a new couch before I met you anyway, this one I’ve had since college. I want a bigger one for the new living room, one that like, wraps around half the room so there’s plenty of room when we have people over.” Dean replied. Gracie hadn’t done nearly as much damage to the couch as he’d first thought. He looked over at his daughter who was now playing with a firetruck in the corner. As long as she stayed away from markers and anything else she could draw with, they were fine.

Dean was in the kitchen tossing a salad when the timer for the lasagna dinged. Cas had already set the table and put Gracie into her seat with a sippy cup of juice and a piece of garlic toast and they sat down to eat with her.

“So, do you like your therapist?” Cas asked around a mouthful of the meaty pasta. Dean shrugged.

“It’s my second session, but so far, yeah. She kind of reminds me of you which is why I think I tolerate her at all. She’s not pushy or demanding.”

“That’s good. I had to go through three before I found one I could tolerate.” Cas said.

“I think I’ll be ok with her. I don’t want to switch and have to rehash everything back out again. Once is enough, thank you.” Dean shook his head. No way did he want to repeat everything he’d already said to another person.

When dinner was over he gave both Cas and Gracie a kiss before he left. Once he was gone Cas cleaned Gracie up and sent her off to play with the toys in her room while he cleaned up the dinner dishes. He was contemplating getting in some more practice with his cello when the doorbell rang.

“Charlie…” He sighed as he headed for the door, assuming it was the red head coming to bum dinner off them. They had even saved her a piece in case she showed up. He opened the door and his entire world came to a stop as he looked at the person standing in front of him.

“Gabriel?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What kid hasn't done that, or something similar? My younger daughter fancied herself to be an artist and no matter where I hid the pens, pencils, markers, etc. she found them, and she decorated the wall in the hall that led from the living room to the dining room. I found out that tea tree oil got rid of her art (much to her chagrin), and I didn't have to paint! She still draws but now it's limited to sketchpads, notebooks, and canvases, thank goodness!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Things are going to get a bit hairy soon.


	21. The Surprise Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets an unexpected and unwanted visit from his brother Gabe. 
> 
> ****Triggers for homophobia and dragging up old memories of sexist slurs and verbal abuse suffered****
> 
> Basically Gave was a dick when they were younger and Cas calls him out on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Gabe with a fresh slate, but I will warn you now, you're not going to like the person he was. Cas is going to call him out on being an asshole, because that's just how he is. So you might dislike Gabe for a while.

“Hey baby brother, how’ve ya been?” 

Cas blinked. This had to be a joke, there was absolutely NO WAY his brother was here, at his apartment, not after fifteen years!

“Oh, don’t you ‘baby brother’ me! Get the fuck out of here!” Cas made to slam the door but his brother stuck a foot in, stopping it.

“Ow damn it! Open the door and stop acting like an asshole.” His brother snapped and pushed back against the door. Cas lost his footing, and his hold on the door. Gabe took the opportunity to step into the apartment.

“Nice place. I heard you were still living with that gay guy but I stopped by there and he said nope, you weren’t. He wouldn’t tell me where you were, but lucky for me, the mail lady was just dropping off the mail. I saw something forwarded here but somehow ended up there anyway, and here I am.” Gabe held his arms out to the sides as though Cas should be impressed by his ability to track him down.

“Why bother? I don’t want you here! And don’t pass judgment on people you don’t know. Balthazar is NOT GAY, and how the hell did you even know I was living with him at all?!” Cas snapped. Gabe just rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Are you still gay?”

Cas shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just asked me that.”

Gabe shrugged. “It’s a legitimate question. I don’t honestly care if you are or not, I’m just wondering.”

“You can’t just turn off your orientation, you idiot. Of course I’m gay! I’m as gay as I was the day I was born and as gay as I will be the day I die. What kind of stupid question is that?!” Cas spat at the other man.

“I wasn’t sure how much damage daddy dearest had done to you, and whether or not you were still trying to conform to his beliefs or not.” Gabe finally took a good look at his younger brother, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline when he noticed the nipple rings.

“I’m going to go ahead and say you aren’t letting his homophobic propaganda affect you at all.”

“No, I’m not. Why are you even here?” Cas crossed his arms and waited. 

“I can’t miss my baby brother?” Gabe asked with a sheepish grin. Cas just glared at him.

“Fine. Truth be told, it took me a while longer to tell dad to go fuck himself. I did everything he wanted, said all the right things, did my best to represent him and the church, but I got tired of living a lie. I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Kudos to you, am I supposed to give a damn?” Cas was angry. Why would Gabe assume that just because he finally got the balls to leave that Cas would want to suddenly forgive him for being a huge prick and welcome him with open arms? Asshole, that’s what Gabe was. An arrogant asshole.

“I deserve that. But truthfully, it’s been bothering me for years now that I have had no contact with anyone in the family. Dad won’t let me talk to the rest of the family. He forbid them from talking to me too. It’s really quite fucked up. I kept thinking about you though, and about the things I used to say and do, and…I know I was a monster. I don’t deserve your time and I sure as hell don’t deserve your forgiveness but I was hoping maybe you could see it in your heart to forgive me in spite of all that.” 

Cas blinked, shocked that his brother was humbling himself like this and asking for HIS forgiveness.

“Papa, see baby? Baby gots boo boo.” Gracie came running down the hall holding her baby doll out. There was a bit of marker on her forehead. Cas accepted the doll and looked up to see his brother gawking at him.

“You have a kid?!” 

“Yes, I do.” Cas crouched down in front of Gracie so that he was at eye level with her.

“Baby girl, go play with your other toys, ok?” He said softly. “I’ll try to fix the boo boo on your baby in a little while.”

Gracie stuck out her lower lip in a pout and eyed the doll before snatching it out of her father’s hands.

“Baby needs kissy.” She kissed the doll before sticking it in Cas’ face. He gave the little red spot a kiss as well. 

“Tank ooo papa!” She turned and ran back to her room. Cas stood up to face his brother, crossing his arms once again.

“She’s…beautiful.” Gabe was still staring after the child, his normal smirk gone, replaced by something gentler.

“Thank you.” 

When Gabe looked at him again Cas saw none of the sarcasm that he had endured growing up, or the cruel looks visible anywhere in his features. 

“So…you remarried?”

“Actually we’re getting married in December. Christmas Eve to be exact.” Cas played with his lip ring, an unconscious habit that most of the time he didn’t even realize he was doing.

“Oh, where, uh…” Gabe looked back down the hall.

“He’s not home.” Cas said. Gabe looked at him and nodded.

“I’d…like to meet him. He must be something special to have captured your heart.”

Cas huffed a small laugh at that. “He’s the best thing to ever happen to me.” He eyed his brother for a moment. The man seemed so much different than he’d been the last time he saw him. He could kick him out or he could sit down and reacquaint himself with the man. 

“You want a beer?” He ended up asking.

“I’d LOVE one!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They sat down at the island, beers in hand since the couch was still wet.

“So, why on earth are you suddenly showing up on my doorstep? You called me a faggot the last time I saw you, and told me I was going to burn in hell for liking men. Did you have a sudden change of heart?” Cas asked. He was over his anger at being called that particular homophobic slur, but it still hurt that the word had been uttered by one of the only brothers he had actually been close with growing up. It had been like a knife to the heart hearing him say it.

“Uh, not exactly. And I didn’t really mean it when I said. I’m sorry about that. Dad just…he really brainwashed us. You were the only one smart enough to get out early.” Gabe sighed. He picked at the label on his bottle, his shame apparent.

“So when did you leave?” Cas sat back in his chair and took a long swallow of his own bottle.

“Um, about ten years ago. It took a long time to get my head sorted out actually. I married Nancy Peters, remember her?” Gabe asked. Cas nodded.

“She often sang solos in the choir. Tall girl, used to lean on my head in Sunday school and tease me about being short.” 

“Yeah, she even turned out to be taller than me. Dad made me marry her. God if it wasn’t a miserable marriage the first few years.” Gabe sighed.

“Only the first few? What happened, did you get a divorce?” Cas asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

“Not at first. We actually just got a divorce two years ago. We have a kid too, Robert, Robby for short. Nancy, she’s uh, a lesbian. Came out to me about eight years ago. Right about the same time I realized I liked more than just women.” Gabe looked at his brother who was staring hard at him.

“You’re…bi?”

Gabe nodded.

“Well I see why things didn’t go over well with dad.” Cas snorted and took another drink from his bottle.

“Yeah, understatement. Anyway, Nan and I, we came to an agreement after Robby was born. A sort of don’t ask, don’t tell policy. We maintained the appearance of a happy, loving marriage for our families and the church and…we saw who we wanted to see in our personal time. She’s actually one of my best friends now, but boy did we have a rough first couple of years.” Gabe chuckled.

“What prompted the divorce?” 

“She met someone. A nice lady by the name of Liz, and they got pretty serious. Nan wanted to walk away from the church, abandon the faith completely. I wanted her to be happy. She’s married now to Liz and they just adopted a little girl. They’re happy, and I’m happy for them.” Gabe took a long swallow from his bottle, clearing half of it off in one shot.

“How did dad take that news?” Cas really, really wanted to know.

Gabe snorted, his expression bitter. “Bastard banned me from the church. I was the goddamn minister! I took over when he retired and because he’s still on the board of directors, he got me booted and banned from ever returning. Rafael replaced me.”

“Wow.” 

“Well, I took all that money I’d saved up that he knew nothing about, cause I was investing most of it, and I opened a recording studio. So I had something to fall back on when I walked away. Fucking changed my last name too. I want nothing to do with him or his twisted religion.” Gabe’s expression was full of pain and anger. Cas knew how he felt. Something suddenly clicked for him.

“Wait, you own a recording studio? It wouldn’t happen to be Angel Records, would it?” 

“Oh, you know about my label?” Gabe laughed. 

“You happen to know a family friend of ours, and apparently you know my fiancé too.” Cas said, chuckling along with him.

“I do?”

“Apparently for a while there you were playing pool with Dean.” Cas replied.

The name sparked something in Gabe’s memory. “Wait, I know that name…really good looking guy, fantastic body, green eyes, lots of freckles?” Gabe quirked an eyebrow. Cas nodded.

“That’s him.” 

“You’re one lucky bastard. I tried to flirt with him more than a few times but he wasn’t responsive at all. I thought maybe I was losing my touch.” Gabe said, shaking his head.

Cas couldn’t help but laugh at that. “No, Dean is just very particular about who he dates.”

“I thought he was straight but I heard rumors around the bar that he wasn’t, so I tried a few more times. After a while I said screw it and settled for just trying to beat him at darts and pool. Bastard beat me nearly every time.”

“No, he’s pansexual, if you know what that is.” Cas said.

“Not a clue. He likes pans?” Gabe joked. Cas frowned.

“Oh, ha ha. Aren’t you a regular comedian.” 

“I like to think I was the funny brother.” Gabe shrugged.

“Well you’re not, and making fun of my fiancé’s sexuality is not amusing to me in the least.” Cas snapped.

“I’m sorry. It doesn’t matter anyway, as long you’re happy with him.” Gabe said. 

“I’m very happy with him.” 

“I still don’t get why he never once even acknowledged when I was flirting. I feel offended.” Gabe said with a laugh.

“Dean didn’t have a lot of interest when it came to dating. Everyone flirts with him, he just ignores it all because he’s not interested. We hit it off the moment we met. Turns out we had a lot in common, like music and old cars. It just blossomed from there.” Cas shrugged.

“Aww, you blossomed.” Gabe teased.

“Fuck you Gabe.” Cas said with a laugh. Gabe motioned vaguely towards Cas’ body.

“What’s up with the body modifications? When did you start that?”

“Why I have them is my personal business, but I started shortly after I left home. Stopped about two years ago after a shit ton of therapy.”

“I never took you for one to do the piercings. How many do you even have?” His brother asked.

“Let’s just leave it at the fact that I have more than just what you’re currently looking at.” Cas replied. Gabe quirked an eyebrow as he glanced at the nipple rings for a second time. He decided he didn’t want to know.

“So when is tall, bow legged and handsome getting back anyway?” 

Cas glanced at the clock above the stove. “About ten minutes.”

“So you’re getting married to Dean. That just trips me out. I’m guessing the family friend you mentioned is Ellen, owner of The Roadhouse that I go into now and then, right?” Gabe asked.

“Yep.”

“So…who’s marrying you guys?” 

Cas narrowed his eyes at his brother. “Why are you asking?”

“I’m genuinely curious. If you don’t have someone, I’d love to do it. I know it won’t make up for me being the prince of assholes, but it’s something I’d like to do for you.” Gabe’s words were spoken in earnest, no hint of his usual attitude.

“Prince of assholes?” Cas asked.

“The title of king goes to daddy dearest. The rest of us were just princes. And one princess.” 

“I have to talk to Dean about it, and no, we’re not discussing it with you here.”

Cas got up to rinse his beer bottle before tossing it in the trash. He was just returning to the table when he heard keys in the front door. 

“Cas?” Dean called out.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” Cas told his brother before leaving the kitchen. He met Dean just as he was coming down the hall.

“Hey baby.” Dean smiled and kissed him.

“Hey, uh, we have company.” 

The tightness in Cas’ voice told Dean the guest was both unexpected and probably unwanted.

“I take it it’s not Charlie then.”

Cas smirked and looked back towards the kitchen.

“No, it’s my brother Gabe.”

“Oh, really? The one that called you all sorts of slurs? Did he come here so that I could knock his teeth down his throat?” Dean gritted his teeth and glared in the general direction of the kitchen. Cas put a hand on his chest.

“Dean, relax. We’ve had a talk and while I’m not exactly ready to forgive him for being an asshole, I have found out some interesting facts about my family. He’s not the same man he was back then, otherwise I’d have never let him in the front door.” He sure as hell wasn’t telling his angry fiancé that Gabe had practically forced his way in. Dean would probably kill him just for spite.

Dean’s jaw clenched as he tried to get his tempter under control.

“Want to hear something ironic?” Cas asked.

Dean looked down at him, the irritation still apparent on his face. “What?”

“You sort of already know him.”

It took a moment for Dean to get what he was saying.

“You gotta be shitting me, right? No way.”

Cas tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace. “Yeah. I’ll give you the grand details later.”

“Wait a minute, that bastard used to flirt with me, how the hell is he the same homophobic prick that tormented you as a kid?” Dean’s anger was back in full force.

“I’d rather not hash out those details right now. It’s already awkward enough with him here.” 

Dean felt bad putting Cas on the spot like that. He took a deep breath and released it slowly.

“Look, I am not happy that he’s here, but…if you want him here, fine. I, however, am tired and I need to talk to you about something.” Dean held up several slips of paper that Cas recognized as prescriptions. “And I’m not doing it with him here. I’m pissed at him until you give me a legitimate reason not to be, so I’m going to get started on putting Gracie to bed while you tell our ‘guest’ it’s time for him to leave.”

Cas hadn’t expected it to go well between his brother and Dean. That would be asking for a miracle. He was just glad Dean wasn’t trying to throttle his brother right at that moment.

“Ok. I’ll meet you in the bedroom in a bit, ok?” Cas slipped his arms around Dean’s waist and leaned in to kiss him.

“Yeah. I’ll be in there in a little while.” 

Dean gave him one more quick kiss and started for the bedroom. As he passed the kitchen he shot a dirty look at Gabe. When Cas returned to the kitchen Gabe turned back to face him.

“I don’t think he’s happy that I’m here.”

“You think?” Cas asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“What did I ever do to him?” Gabe asked.

“You can’t possibly be that stupid Gabe. It’s not what you did to him, it’s what you did to _me_. Dean and I, we don’t have secrets between us. He knows every slur, every cruel thing you ever did to me growing up. It was all I could do to keep him from coming in here and kicking your ass into next Tuesday. You, Luke, Rafael, Bart, Zach, you all are the reason I spent years in therapy and he knows that. Anna didn’t help either. The only one that ever accepted me to any degree was Mike, and thanks to dad that took even him a while to come around to. So yeah, he’s pissed and coming over and having a beer, it doesn’t make up for all the shit you did. So at this time I will have to ask you to leave because my fiancé doesn’t want you here, and I have no desire to pick a fight with him tonight. Give me your number and maybe we’ll talk later, but no more just showing up. If I want to talk, I’ll call you.” 

Gabe stared at his brother as he talked. It was hard to believe that the shy, timid boy he had grown up with was now this strong, confident man. It hurt him beyond measure knowing the damage he had caused his brother because of their father. He got to his feet.

“I understand. I’m not going to force myself on you, but please, give me a call. I’d like the chance to try and…I don’t know, be friends? And try to make up for being a dick to you.” He spotted a pad of paper with a pen stuck to the front of the fridge. He jotted his number down.

“I know it’s going to sound pathetic but I never stopped loving you Cas. I’m really happy that you didn’t let dad destroy you. I always knew you were better than him.” Gabe offered a small smile. Cas nodded.

“Thank you.”

He walked his brother to the door and said goodbye. Once the door was closed he locked it and leaned back against it as he tried to get his thoughts under control.

“Babe?” Dean called out. A moment later he appeared in the living room. Cas looked over at him.

“He’s gone, right?” Cas nodded.

“I’m sorry, I know he’s your brother and all, but I just…what he did to you…” Dean ran a hand through his hair. “I just don’t forgive that easily, not when I know how bad he hurt you.”

Cas crossed the room and Dean pulled him into a hug.

“You ok?” Dean asked softly. Cas bit his lower lip and shook his head.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s go lay down and talk.”

Cas allowed Dean to lead him to their bedroom. Talking was the last thing he wanted to do, but he needed to do it. All of the feelings he had spent more than a decade suppressing had managed to come racing to the surface the moment his eyes fell on his brother. He wanted to forgive him, wanted to accept him into his life, but he was scared. It was a long road to healing and seeing Gabe tonight had just proven that he still had a long way to go. No, Gabe was by no means forgiven, but maybe he could give the man another chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the Gabe now, still a bit of a dick, still a smart ass, but wanting to repair his relationship with his youngest brother. And Dean can hold a grudge as you will soon see. But you can't blame him for wanting to protect Cas.
> 
> I hope you like the chapter, let me know what you think. Sorry it took me forever to get it up today, I was out most of the day.


	22. Forgiveness is a Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean lay down in bed to discuss Dean's new prescriptions and how he feels about them, and the reason behind Gabe's visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance that this chapter was short. I will try to write a longer one tomorrow, I just had to mow my lawn and run to the store, and my bird Lilah has been screaming most of the day and making it almost impossible to concentrate. Just all around NOT a good day for writing.

“Is Gracie asleep?” Cas asked as he changed from his jeans into a pair of pajama bottoms. When he was at home he spent most of his time shirtless. Dean didn’t mind, his fiancé was the sexiest thing alive. It was Cas that suffered every time Gracie decided to pull on a nipple ring. She was getting better about it though.

“She’s in bed. I’m sure she’ll be out soon, she was yawning as I got her into her pajamas. Almost fell asleep when I put her on the potty.” Dean was already in his pajamas and he pulled the covers back.

“What prescriptions did she give you?” Cas asked as they climbed into bed together. Dean pulled the papers off the nightstand where he had left them and handed them over.

“Did she tell you what these are for?” Cas looked through each of them. There were only three, but it was enough.

“Uh, one’s for my…depression…” The way Dean said it told Cas that he was feeling humiliated by even having to admit that.

“One is for anxiety, and one is so I can sleep, so I’m not, like…having all those nightmares.”

“So you get more than just a few hours of sleep every night.” Cas looked over at him. Dean nodded.

“There’s no shame in having depression babe. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain, I have it too, you know that. And I’ll help you through it. You’re not alone, you never will be.”

“I know. I just hate that I need to be dependent on medications in order to feel well again.” Dean laid back against het pillows and stared at the ceiling. He was frustrated.

“I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way in the beginning, but once they started to work I was so grateful. I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy, to not hate myself. The meds alone are not going to be the fix it all, but in combination with the therapy, I promise you’ll be feeling better soon.” Cas scooted closer and lifted his arm up when Dean turned onto his side to lay his head on his chest. Cas lowered his arm around the man’s shoulder and pulled him closer. 

“So tell me, what the hell was your brother suddenly doing here?” Dean asked. Cas sighed.

It was a longer discussion explaining to Dean why Gabe had come, and what exactly he wanted.

“He actually asked you if you were still gay. I can’t believe he asked you that.” Dean was stunned. Were people really that ignorant?

“It was more directed at whether or not our father had screwed me up so completely that I was still questioning myself. The problem is, I never questioned my orientation, I questioned my faith and my father’s doctrines, but never once did I question the fact that I’m attracted to men. Gabe just made the assumption that dad fucked so bad with my head that I’ve been a sexually confused mess all these years. Basically like he was. He’s only gained the confidence to accept himself in the last few years.”

“I still think he’s an asshole.” Dean muttered.

“He asked if he could marry us.”

Dean sat up and looked at Cas. The words were right on the tip of his tongue, to say no way, not happening, but there was a vulnerability that he could hear in the man’s voice. He wanted to give his brother another chance, and who was he to deny the man he loved that? If he’d been able to reconnect with his father before he died, even if he didn’t fully forgive the man, then he could do this for Cas if that was what he wanted. He’d do anything for him.

“Is that what you want?”

Cas turned to look at him, his surprise apparent. “I thought you’d scream and refuse.”

“You’re not answering my question. Do you want him to marry us?” Dean asked a second time.

Cas rubbed absently at the cross tattoo on his forearm. “I don’t think so. I just…I’m not there yet. I’m not sure I’ll ever be there. I need to call Mike.”

“Call him tomorrow, see what he advises.” Dean kissed Cas’ shoulder before laying back down against him.

“Mike could marry us you know. He’s a doctor but dad made all of us study to become ministers. I didn’t within our father’s church, I left before I could, but…I became one later. Mostly because I could.”

Dean sat up again. “Wait, you’re an ordained minister? Seriously?”

“Yes. It’s not something I talk about often. I actually forget I even am until crap like this comes up.”

“Our marriage is not crap.” Dean said firmly.

“No, not our marriage, I’m talking about conversations about my father’s church, and about my family. Seriously Dean, my father is a nasty man. He’s an extremist, highly opinionated, controlling, and just…” Cas sighed. “For someone so holy, he’s extremely evil.”

“You make him sound like he runs a cult.” Dean said.

“In a way he does. The congregation isn’t that big and they all follow his rule. Those that break his rules, they get banished. Hence the reason Gabe and I are exiled.”

“What about your brother Mike? Didn’t he break the rules?” Dean asked.

“Yes, he did. His acceptance of me and my lifestyle got him banned from the church. He’s not mad about it though. He told me it was actually a relief. He was forced to marry a girl from church, but…she committed suicide. She felt she was trapped. Mike was never anything but kind to her, but she was living a miserable life at home before being forced into marrying my brother. Two months in he came home one afternoon and found that she had overdosed. He stuck it out for a little while longer but he convinced mom to talk to dad to let him go to medical school. Told them the church needed a doctor. My dad finally conceded which was a miracle in itself, and Mike left for medical school. He…never came back. By that time I was out, I’d been kicked out of the church, and Mike was in his residency. He got a free ride to medical school, the church covered the cost, but when he said he supported me and my life choices, he was banned and told to never come back. He’s happy, he’s got a great wife, awesome kids, and he hasn’t been back to see the rest of the family since.”

“Did your father force all of his kids to marry people they don’t love?” Dean asked.

“Yep. Anna is the only one younger than me. She was fifteen when I left but they already had her future husband picked out. Rachel’s younger brother, if you can believe it.” Cas snorted. He wondered how Anna’s marriage had turned out. They had to be married at least ten years now.

“How are you feeling about Gabe showing up and wanting back in your life? Do you really think he’ll be open and accepting now?” 

Cas had slid down until he was lying flat on the bed. Dean moved with him, his head still laying on the man’s chest. He just needed to be close. Cas didn’t mind.

“I think he’s had ten years to get his shit figured out. If he’s still an asshole, well, I don’t need him in my life. I’ve done just fine without him all this time, but if he honestly cares about me and wants to try and make it up to me…I think I’d like to at least give him the benefit of the doubt. But just once. He screws with me again and that’s it. He’s out for good. I don’t want Gracie growing up around animosity amongst relatives, or hearing whispers about us from people that are supposed to love us.”

“I agree. So give him the chance. If he hurts you again though, he’s going to have me to deal with.”

“Should I ask Mike to marry us? I honestly don’t want Gabe doing it.” Cas said.

“Sure, if that’s what you want to do babe, I’m ok with that.” Dean agreed.

“I’ll call him tomorrow.” Cas yawned. He pushed Dean over so that his back was to him and then draped himself over the man.

“Hey, I was the one cuddling.” Dean chuckled.

“Yes, but I need my human pillow now.” Cas kissed the back of Dean’s neck before wrapping his arms around him.

“I love you Cas. Whatever decisions you make, I’ll support you a hundred percent.”

Cas smiled and hugged Dean tighter. “I love you too babe, and thank you, that means everything to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be hating this chapter. It needs detail, I know, I just didn't have the time for it. I'll make it up in the next chapter. Love you guys! Leave a comnent when you get a chance.


	23. We Have the House to Ourselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean get an afternoon alone as Gracie is with Ellen and Bobby. Yeah, it's smut. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was overdue, I make no apologies.

**Three Weeks Later**

“Cas, don’t be mad at me.”

That was not something Cas wanted to hear. Dean had been out and about for most of the afternoon with Charlie doing errands for the wedding and putting down the deposit for the moving truck. Cas had stayed home alone since Gracie was off with Ellen and Bobby for the day. It had been a quiet day spent working on writing a new song (he had so much inspiration now it was practically spilling out of him) but hearing those words coming out of Dean’s mouth immediately soured his mood.

“What did you do?” 

Cas set down the pencil and music book to level Dean with an icy glare. Dean came over to sit down next to him, a cheesy smile on his face that just made Cas even more worried.

“It’s nothing bad.” Dean kicked off his shoes and tucked his legs up under him. He leaned in to kiss his fiancé but Cas pulled back and frowned.

Uh, uh, not until you tell me what you did.”

Dean chuckled and snuck a quick kiss anyway.

“Asshole.” Cas growled.

“Maybe, but you’ll like this.” Dean quirked an eyebrow, his smile growing wider.

“What the hell did you do? Just tell me already.” Cas sighed.

“I…got a tattoo.” Dean suddenly looked unsure. Cas realized he was afraid he’d be mad at him for doing it.

“You got a…” Cas let out the breath he’d been holding and smiled. “Where babe? Did you think I’d be mad?”

Dean shrugged. “I wasn’t sure. I know we were putting our money aside for the wedding, but my friend Nick was back in town. He’s the one that did the pentacle for me and Sam. So I hit him up. He’s here another week and I want to get one more before he heads back to Cali.”

Cas turned to face him. “So? Show me already.”

Dean grinned and pulled his shirt over his head.

“I have slight OCD, but you know that already, so where I got this, it’s bugging the hell out of me, which is why I will be getting the second one. It won’t exactly balance things out but it’ll calm my stupid brain down.” He explained. 

Cas’ eyes roved over his fiancé’s chest until they landed on the new ink that curved under his left pectoral muscle. Written in a beautiful font that Cas was now contemplating getting a tat himself just to use, was his name: _Castiel_. The single word was written in black ink and on either side of his name was one black angel wing.

“Oh…Dean…” He touched the skin just below it rather than the actual tattoo. Soon enough he’d be able to run his fingers along the word itself, but for now the skin was red and tender.

“You’re not mad, right?” Dean asked, just making sure.

“No sweetheart, I’m not mad. I’m honored. I can’t believe you did this.”

Dean smiled and pulled him into a kiss.

“You know…we have the house all to ourselves…” He pulled Cas into his lap as he kissed his way down his neck to his collarbone.

“Do you think your friend could do one for me too?” Cas asked. Dean lifted his head to look up at him.

“Not for that.” Cas said. He didn’t want it to drown out pain. He was the happiest he had ever been in his life. Dean smiled.

“I want one now, with writing like this. Something to always have with me, for you and Gracie.” Cas ran his fingertips just above the new ink.

“Come with me next week. I’ll get him to take the extra time for you.”

“Ok.” 

Cas lunged forward to capture Dean’s mouth, making him gasp. 

“Baby, I need you.” Cas ground down against him, making him moan.

“I need you too.” Dean’s voice revealed his desperation. They hadn’t had middle of the day sex since Gracie had come to live with them and he couldn’t help being excited. He was tugging at Cas’ jeans, trying to unbutton them but he hisses as his own arm brushed against the tender skin on his chest. Cas stood up, pulling Dean to his feet.

“Come on baby, let me take care of that, then I’ll rock your world.” The smile on Cas’ face had Dean’s heart fluttering in his chest. He let himself be led down the hall to the bathroom where Cas took an ointment from the medicine cabinet. Dean recognized it as one for tattoo care. He must have brought it from his apartment. 

“Come here.” Cas tugged him closer by one of the loops in his pants. Carefully he applied the ointment. It soothed the burn, making Dean sigh. 

“Feels good. I usually just us A&D ointment.”

“I’ve used this stuff for years. It’s better.” Cas said. He set the tube aside and pulled out a bandage.

“I don’t need to cover it babe.” Dean said, but he made no move to stop him.

“I know, but for what I want to do tonight, I don’t want it distracting from the pleasure, or being rubbed raw.” Cas explained. Once the bandage was taped in place he dropped his hands to Dean’s belt. With a few quick flicks of the wrist he had it unbuckled and Dean’s pants unzipped. 

Dean’s hands found the button Cas’ jeans and this time he got it undone. A second later he found himself pushed up against the counter as Cas’ mouth licked an sucked at his nipples. He was careful as he worked his way down Dean’s chest. One hand slid inside Dean’s open pants.

“Dean!” 

Cas looked up to see a cocky smirk on Dean’s face. He had gone commando. Every once in a while he did that as he knew it drove his man crazy.

“Bedroom, now!” Cas growled. 

Once in the bedroom Cas was all over him again. Dean moaned as he was pushed back against the wall and their tongues found one another again. Cas’ hand found its way back down inside his pants where he stroked Dean’s hard cock, dragging moan after moan from the other man that he swallowed with each kiss.

“Cas, please…” Dean begged. He pushed back against his lover, trying to steer him towards the bed.

“Get undressed.” Cas instructed. He slid his hand out of Dean’s pants, chuckling as he heard the other man whine. He pulled off his shirt and kicked off his own jeans as he watched Dean dispose of his socks and pants. 

A naked Dean Winchester was the most beautiful thing in the world to Cas. He had a hard time keeping his hands off the man, and now that they were alone, he didn’t have to. Fingers roamed across freckled flesh, exploring, reacquainting themselves with every curve and dimple. He guided Dean to the bed but stopped him before he could drop down onto it. Dean looked questioningly at him.

“Turn around.” 

Dean never questioned anything Cas wanted to do in the bedroom. It was always exciting just being with him. Cas’ hands were on his hips, guiding him forward.

“I want you to bend over baby, spread your legs for me.” His breath was hot against Dean’s ear as he spoke and the man immediately complied. Now he knew why Cas had bandaged his tattoo as his upper body stretched across the mattress. 

“God you’re so perfect Dean, so perfect for me.” Cas murmured as he laid a trail of wet kisses down his fiancé’s back and then down the perfect globes of his ass. He darted his tongue between his cheeks causing Dean to moan and his legs to quiver. Cas took his time, pushing Dean’s legs further apart and licking his way inside the tight ring of muscles.

“Oh, fuck!” Dean’s voice was muffled as his face was buried in the mattress but Cas could feel it as the man gasped and pushed back against him, trying to force his tongue in deeper. 

Cas pulled back and reached for the nightstand drawer to pull out the bottle of lube. He uncapped it and poured some on his fingers. Dean was whining and wiggling his hips as he tried to get him to hurry up. Cas nipped at the meaty part of his ass causing Dean to yelp but a second later he was lavishing the spot with tender kisses as he circled Dean’s hole with one slick finger. 

It didn’t take long to work Dean open. The man was already a writhing, moaning mess underneath him as he grabbed Dean’s hips and lined himself up. As always he was careful to lube himself up good and move slowly so Dean never felt any pain. He pushed in slowly until he was fully surrounded by the tight heat that was the man he loved. Months earlier, after getting themselves both tested and cleared of any diseases they had decided to forgo the condoms. There was nothing in the world that compared to having no barriers between them. Every sensation was heighted tenfold and as he began to move, thrusting his hips in slow, languid movements he let his eyes slide shut, focusing solely on the tight heat he was buried inside of. He began to increase the speed of his thrusts as Dean begged him to move faster, thrust harder, and it wasn’t long before he was pounding into the man. He had the briefest thought that he was glad he’d had the foresight to bandage Dean’s tattoo because the man was certainly taking one hell of a pounding. The entire bed shook with every thrust and Dean was practically screaming as his prostate was hit over and over again.

Cas knew Dean perfectly. He could feel the man’s orgasm building, sense it in the whimpers and moans, in the way his body began to tense, and he pulled Dean up just enough to be able to wrap a hand around his dripping cock and start pumping. It didn’t take more than a dozen strokes before Dean was screaming his name as he came. Cas was still pounding into him, though his hips were quickly losing their rhythm. Another few thrusts and he was gripping Dean’s hips hard as he came. 

It took them both a minute to catch their breath. Cas slowly pulled out and helped Dean stand back up.

“That was so good baby.” Dean purred as he wrapped Cas up in his arms and kissed him.

“Mmm, I agree. I need a shower now though, and so do you.” Cas took him by the hand and led him to the bathroom. 

It was a careful ballet showering with a new tattoo. Cas positioned Dean at the back of the shower, with his back to the water and he took his time washing his fiancé’s body. He did his best to keep as much water off Dean’s chest as possible and when they stepped from the shower he was pleased to see that except for a few drips that had slide down from Dean’s wet hair, the tattoo had stayed relatively dry. He applied another coat of the ointment, happy that he could take care of the man he loved. 

“I’m starving, you hungry?” He asked once they had returned to the bedroom and cleaned up the blanket Dean had come across and the clothing they had dropped.

“I am. I’ll start dinner.” Dean said as he headed for the kitchen.

“No need, I already started it.” Cas told him. Dean stopped in the bedroom doorway and turned to look at him.

“What are you making?”

Dean had been working with Cas on certain dishes and the man had proven to be quick study. His skills were now far advanced from his days of nuking ramen noodles or adding packaged taco seasoning to ground meat. He sniffed the air realizing that he could actually smell something cooking.

“Chicken, it’s in the crockpot.” Cas replied. Dean broke out in a grin. He loved when Cas made chicken that way.

“When did you put it in?”

Cas passed him, stopping in the bathroom where the stacked washer and dryer were to start a load. Dean followed.

“It should be done now. All we need are a couple of sides and we’re good.” 

In the kitchen they worked side by side. Dean made rice while Cas put together a salad.

“Don’t forget, you’re supposed to pick up the keys for the house Monday.” Dean reminded him as they sat down to eat.

“It’s marked on my ‘to do’ list on my phone. I’ll pick them up once I get Gracie from school. We can start moving stuff over there when you get home from work.” 

Dean nodded. “Yes, but I can’t do the majority of the moving til the weekend. I have tests to grade. First quarter’s already coming to an end.”

“Already?” Cas felt like the entire year was racing by. Dean sighed and nodded.

“Yes. I administer the test Tuesday and Wednesday since I have a larger number of classes this year, and I have to get them all graded by Friday.”

“I can help with that if it’s not essays.” Cas offered.

“It’s a mix. We’re working on different forms of poetry right now, and I’ve been working with them to create their own sonnets. The test is a combination of vocabulary terms and execution of said poetic forms. Should be interesting to see what they come up with. Last year I had a kid that wrote a sonnet all about having trouble pooping. I about died laughing as I read it. It was actually pretty good.”

Cas raised an eyebrow. “Poop. Seriously?”

“You’d be surprised what teenagers write about. Do you know how many ‘cute boy’ or make up application poems I have to read?” Dean rolled his eyes and groaned just thinking about it. “I should ban certain topics, force them to broaden their minds.”

Cas chuckled. “Yeah, good luck with that!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Threw a new tattoos in there too, cause why not? I hope you all like the chapter. I'd have had it up a few hours ago except I was preoccupied with the tornadoe that decided to roll through here. The weather alerts were insane and prompting me to take shelter. I only have one kid home with me so I grabbed her and made her and the dogs sit in my room until it passed. My other kid was up in Chicago visiting her dad and worrying sick about us. Tornado hit about 10 minutes north of here. We got flooding though. I'll see how bad the damage actually is in the morning. Did I mention it's now raining in my bathroom? In my skylight. I need to find the leak and seal it up. Ugh, just one more project I don't have money for. Oh well! 
> 
> So, leave a comment, let me know what you think. I'm off to bed now, it's 2:12am and I start work at 9. Catch you all later! Love you guys!


	24. The New House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're moved in but the stress of adapting to a new house with all of its new sounds and smells is proving to be a bit too much for Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they're moving into the new house. Jess and Cas are becoming friends and the family as a whole is coming together. Even with all this positivity Dean's anxiety is still there, and it chooses to rear its ugly head the first night that they're settling in to sleep. Thank goodness he has Cas.

Since starting the medications that his therapist has prescribed Dean’s moods had been not only more stable, but he had been in a generally good mood the last week or so. His therapy seemed to be going well too. 

For the sake of his own sanity Cas decided to back to his old therapist. It was helping him deal with the fact that his brother wanted to be a part of his life again. He was texting back and forth with Gabe but he was also texting more and more with Mike. Mike still refused to speak to Gabe and he was upset that Cas even wanted to, but he had agreed to perform the wedding ceremony. Cas had felt the stress weighing on him as he debated on how to tell Gabe that he was not going to be the one to perform the wedding, Mike was. In the end, at his request Dean broke the news for him since he had no problems saying no to Gabe.

It was now mid-October and the wedding seemed to be racing towards them. Charlie was happily planning most of it which took a lot of stress off of them, but there was still so much to do, and with the move to the new house they were even more stressed out than usual. Cas picked up the keys Monday and drove straight to the new house. He unbuckled Gracie from her car seat and together they walked into their new home.

“This is your new home, baby girl.” He told her. She looked up at him before turning to look at the large, empty living room. He could only imagine what was going through her mind in that moment.

“Come on, let’s go play in the backyard.” 

They walked through the house and out the back door. Gracie’s eyes widened when she took in the large space. 

“Park?” She asked as she made her way down the steps.

“No princess, this is our yard. You’re going to play back here and daddy and me, we’re going to get you a puppy. You and your puppy can play in the yard all day.” He told her. She was almost to the bottom step when he said the magic word. She stopped mid-step and whipped her head around to look at him.

“Puppy?”

He smiled and nodded. “We’ll get you a puppy. We just have to warm daddy up to the idea first.”

“Oh! Daddy gon nanna petty puppy!” She exclaimed as she reached the bottom step and ran off across the yard. The afternoon was cool but not cold and he sat down on the steps to watch her play.

“Cas?” He heard Jess calling his name from somewhere inside the house.

“We’re out here!” 

A moment later Jess stepped out onto the back porch.

“I saw your car pull up. You guys picked up the keys I see.” She said as she sat down next to him.

“Yep. I had to bring her by, let her see the place. It’s going to be stressful for her to move yet again. It took her over a month to get used to her room in the apartment.” He said.

“I know, but she’ll be ok, she’s a tough girl.” Jess patted his knee and turned her attention to the little girl running circles around the huge backyard.

“We’re getting a dog for her.” Cas said.

Oh really? Dean agreed to a dog?”

“He was outnumbered, two to one.” He laughed. She laughed with him.

“Sam wants a dog. Maybe we can go together and pick them out.” She suggested.

“I’m cool with that. Dean’ll be a grump the whole time, but you know as well as I do who’s going to be cuddling on the couch with the dog, and it won’t be me or Gracie.” 

She laughed again. He was right, they all knew it.

“He’s a big softie. Don’t let him try and fool you.”

“Oh I know he is. He already ordered a swing set, complete with a treehouse, slide and climbing wall. Said he and Sam are going to put it together cause Sam promised to help. I’m sort of glad I don’t have to be involved in that project.” He admitted.

“Me too. Let them figure out slot A to peg B. I hate putting things like that together.” 

Cas’ phone jingled. He pulled it out and smiled when he saw it was Dean texting.

Dean: You guys at the new house?

Cas: Yep. Sitting on the back steps with Jess, watching your daughter tear around the yard like a maniac.

Cas turned on the video and taped thirty seconds of Gracie running around screaming about a puppy. He forwarded the video to Dean.

Dean: You’re killing me with the whole dog thing. You really want one that bad?

Cas: Yes. I never had any pets growing up, not even a goldfish. I want a dog for protection, as a companion, and as a friend for Gracie to grow up with. It’ll teach her responsibility and how put the needs of others before her own.

Dean: Fine, but it’s NOT sleeping in our bed. Buy the fluffiest, fanciest dog bed you want, but I’m putting my foot down there.

Cas chuckled and let Jess read the texts.

“Told you he was a big softie.”

Cas: So, you coming over here or what?

Dean: Running by the apartment first. Sam’s meeting me there with his truck. We’re bringing all the toys and stuff from Gracie’s room. 

Cas: We’ll see you when you get here.

Dean: I love you.

Cas: I love you too.

He tucked his phone back in his jacket pocket and smiled at his daughter who was laying on her belly picking at tiny yellow flowers that grew in the grass.

“You guys could add a pool back here, or put in a flower garden.” Jess said.

“Dean wants to try his hand at growing his own vegetables. He’s putting in a garden over there.” He pointed to the windows under the sun porch.

“Sounds like him.” 

“He thinks it’ll be healthier for Gracie, but overall it will be for all of us.” He said.

“You guys are amazing together, you know that? I’ve been with Sam three years now and even we didn’t connect as fast or as thoroughly as you and Dean did. It took us close to a year before we were as comfortable together as you two are. There’s no way we’re ready to consider parenthood, but you guys fell into it like you were meant to be dads, like it came naturally to you both. I envy you guys.” She turned to look at him, a warm smile on her face.

“I think you guys were made for each other.”

Cas smiled wide upon hearing that. “I’ve told him before that if there were such a thing as soulmates, he is mine. I liked him when I first met him, I mean, have you looked at him?! He took my breath away, but I was fighting to keep my cool. I wasn’t sure if he was into guys or not so I felt like an ass just fishing for any kind of hints. But really, the moment I first kissed him I knew I wanted more. I never really dated before him. I was scared of commitment, but with Dean it all comes so naturally. He’s not like anyone I’ve ever been with before. He’s the first person in my life to ever make me feel safe, wanted, and loved. No way I’d walk away from that, I’m in way too deep.”

“That’s how I feel about Sam. I hope he doesn’t wait forever to propose.” Jess sighed.

“Give him time, he’ll figure it out.” He told her. She nodded. 

 

Less than an hour later Sam’s truck was backing into the driveway. Cas had gone out to the car to get some of Gracie’s toys when she got bored just running around and she was contentedly playing with a stack of building blocks on the living room floor when the Winchester brothers came walking through the front door. Dean stopped, box in hand to kiss Cas.

“Where’s baby girl?” He asked. Cas nodded behind him to where she was knocking down towers of blocks just to watch them tumble.

“Hey princess.” He called out.

“Hi daddy!” She gave him a cheesy smile as she stacked the blocks again.

Between the four adults it didn’t take long to get all of the boxes from Gracie’s room loaded into the house so Sam and Dean decided to go back and get the living room stuff. Jess and Cas took Gracie up to her room to start unpacking a bit. Dean had brought her bookcase and her toy box, so they worked on figuring out where they wanted to put those.

A week earlier they had been permitted to come and paint Gracie’s room to get it ready for her. They wanted to make the transition as smooth for the little girl as possible so they had chosen the same shade of purple that Sam had chosen for the apartment room and now they were setting the pieces of furniture up just like they’d been set up in her old room. Gracie stood watching her papa and Jess as they put books on her shelves and filled the toy box. 

“What doing papa?” She had wandered closer out of curiosity and was now standing next to the toy box, watching him put things into it.

“This is your new bedroom Gracie. We’re going to live here in just a couple more days.” He explained. She frowned, tiny lines forming between her eyes. She looked so much like Dean in that moment he wanted to laugh.

“It’s ok, remember, once we live here we’re getting a puppy.” Her eyes lit up again and she grinned.

“I wanna puppy!”

“Knock it off Cas!” Dean warned from somewhere across the hall. Jess snickered and Cas just laughed. Gracie went in search of her father.

“Daddy, papa say ‘n puppy. Daddy!” 

“Don’t do that too often, it’ll cause animosity between the two of you.” Jess said in a low voice.

“Do what?” Cas asked.

“Use Gracie against Dean to get what you want. You’ll end up with him resenting you. And she’ll be doing a fair job soon enough of pitting you two against one another. You have to be a united front or she’ll tear you guys apart. I know, my brother and I did that to our parents. They ended up hating one another and divorcing.” There was sadness in Jess’ voice as she told him that. Cas felt a jolt of fear at her words. No, the last thing he wanted to do was to use their child to get what he wanted. He got to his feet and went in search of Dean.

Dean and Sam had used the truck to bring the dresser from his and Cas’ room over and Dean was actually folding clothes and setting them in the drawers. Of course the man couldn’t bring the dresser over without also bringing the clothes. Cas knew it had to be killing him to leave the bed behind.

“I’m sorry babe.” Cas said as he entered the room.

“For what?” Dean paused in putting a tee shirt into the drawer and looked up at him. 

“I’m not trying to use Gracie to get what I want. If it seemed that way, I apologize.” He looked down at Gracie who had forgotten all about her father and had wandered over to the window to look out.

“I know. It irked me a little at first but I get why you want the dog so bad. We just need to stick together on the important stuff.” Dean put the shirt in the drawer and pulled Cas into his arms.

“I hate fighting.” Cas murmured as he hugged Dean’s waist and laid his head on his shoulder.

“I didn’t realize we were fighting.” Dean said with a laugh.

“We’re not, but I know how kids can pick fights in order to get what they want. Promise me we won’t let that happen? If our kids ever say “Well dad or papa said…” That we’ll double check with each other before we agree to whatever they’re asking?” Cas tilted his head up enough to press a kiss to Dean’s jaw.

“I promise. No way am I letting rugrats tear what we have apart. We will always keep an open line of communication.” Dean promised.

“Daddy, is a qurrel outside.” Gracie pointed to the small furry rodent currently burying a nut in their backyard. Dean took Cas by the hand they walked over to the window.

“You’re right, look at that! He’s hiding his nuts for the winter.”

“Hide?” She asked.

“They hide nuts so they have food in the winter. So they have their nummies.” He told her.

“Qurrel nummies?” She was looking at the squirrel again with renewed interest.

“I hope she doesn’t try to dig that up.” Cas said under his breath.

“Don’t give her ideas.” Dean warned.

“It’s getting late, let’s go get dinner and go home. I’m tired.” Cas leaned down to scoop Gracie up. She was starting to put some weight and height on, he could feel it.

“Yeah, ok. Are Jess and Sam still here?”

“Jess is. Not sure about Sam.” Cas replied as he headed for the door.

Dean located his brother and Jess and told them they were leaving. With the house locked up they decided to grab burgers and chicken nuggets before heading home. Neither man wanted to cook, and Gracie was getting cranky from her long day. Once she was fed and tucked into bed Dean started on grading homework while Cas worked on his own homework. He’d been in school six weeks now and it still felt surreal having to do homework again. He felt too old for it, but Dean encouraged him and so far he was doing quite well. He had an A in every class and whenever he began to doubt himself or worry that he wasn’t doing something right, Dean stepped in to help him, easing his fears and walking him through whatever topic was stressing him at that moment. It was going to be a long four years but if Dean and everyone else could believe in him, then he knew he had it in him to believe in himself.

That weekend was the big move. They ended up recruiting every family member and friend they had in the area. Even Balthazar and his now fiancé Laura came to help, and Gracie found a new favorite uncle in the sassy Brit. Sam and Benny worked on bringing over everything from Cas’ old apartment while Cas and Dean worked on bringing over everything from the current one. Ellen was keeping Gracie occupied so she wasn’t getting underfoot by having her help unpack her own things in her room. By ten that night everything was moved out of both apartments and into the new house. Gracie had long ago fallen asleep and Ellen had tucked her into her crib in her new room. The child was so exhausted that she didn’t even seem to realize she wasn’t in her old room, and everyone was grateful for that.

Dean was glad it was a Saturday night, though he had taken off the coming Monday and Tuesday so they could all adjust and begin the process of settling in. That first night he lay there listening to the sounds the house made, debating on whether he wanted to take his sleep medicine. He’d only needed to take it twice since it had been prescribed and he was quite proud of that, but now he was lying on his back staring up at the ceiling, unable to shut his brain down. Cas was curled around him, a warm pressure against him that kept the anxiety of not being able to sleep at bay but at some point the tenseness of his body woke the other man. Cas stirred next to him, stretching and letting out a pleased moan at the feel of it. He blinked and looked up at Dean’s face.

“Can’t sleep?” 

“No, I can’t.” Dean confessed. Cas sat up on one elbow and looked down at him. It was clear something was wrong.

“What’s wrong?” Cas ran a hand down Dean’s side, frowning as he felt the muscles tense further under his touch.

“That’s just it, I’m not exactly sure. I think it’s the new house. I’m not used to the sounds it’s making, or the new space. The smells…just everything. Is it stupid to say I miss the old apartment?” He turned his head and even in the moonlight streaming through the window he could see blue eyes watching him. 

“No hon, it’s not. It was familiar and this place isn’t, but it will be. We’ll learn every tick and soon we’ll know this place as though it was an old friend. But not getting any sleep isn’t going to help. I’ll go grab your pill and a glass of water. I’ll be right back.”

Cas leaned down to kiss him and Dean sighed more in resignation than anything. Cas knew he hated relying on sleep medication, or even on the other meds he was taking, but he was exhausted and desperate at this point. 

On his way to the kitchen he glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was nearly three am. No wonder Dean’s anxiety was so high, he’d been lying there almost four hours now unable to fall asleep. Cas grabbed the glass of water and brought it back upstairs where he stopped in their private bathroom to grab the pill. Dean sat up, accepting both when Cas returned to the bed. He knelt on the mattress next to Dean rubbing his back as he swallowed the pill and half the glass of water in one go. It would be at least twenty minutes before it kicked in but as tired as he was, he wasn’t falling asleep until Dean did. He took the glass from Dean’s hand and set it on the nightstand.

“Come here babe.” Cas laid down and this time pulled Dean to him, letting the taller man mold his body against his. He ran a hand soothingly up and down Dean’s back as they lay there.

“So tell me, what color are we painting the living room?” He asked.

Cas’ goal was to shift Dean’s thought process to something he had some control over. Dean had big plans for the house and Cas could almost hear him thinking.

“I was thinking maybe doing an accent wall. Since it’s open and there are only three walls and it feeds into the kitchen I think the kitchen colors should compliment, so it all flows. Maybe do cream on two walls and red on the wall with the fireplace. Then carry red over into the kitchen since there’s so much chrome and stainless steel in there I think red accents would be nice. What do you think?” Dean tilted his head back to look up at him.

“I like red, and I think it would look nice. I also think I can picture what you’re saying. And you’re sure red won’t make the space look smaller?”

“No, because it’ll only be on one wall. If it was all the walls it would, but just on one it won’t. We can do the new couch in dark brown, or in a red chenille. It’ll flow.” Dean replied.

“I don’t know what a chenille is but ok. Are you talking like a ruby or garnet color for the wall?” Cas asked.

“Mmm, yes. Something richer. Not into the light colors so much.” Dean yawned.

“I would like a bright, sunny yellow though for the sun porch since that’ll be Gracie’s play area when she’s inside.” Cas said. Dean nodded.

“Sure. Or white with yellow accents. We have to make sure it’s a paint that can hold up to kids, in case she decides to be artistic again.”

Cas chuckled at that. “Yeah, I already thought of that. So, dining room, same flowing colors?”

“Yes. And the warm browns down the hall too.” Dean’s words were starting to slur and his head was growing heavy on Cas’ chest.

“I like that. I want pictures hung in the hallway. Family pictures.” Cas told him.

“We need to go do that, soon.” Dean murmured. A moment later his breathing evened out and Cas knew he had finally fallen asleep. He pressed a soft kiss into Dean’s hair before closing his own eyes and allowing sleep to claim him for a second time that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not alway easy setting into a new place, especially when you have anxiety. What might be a trigger for one person isn't for another. Cas settles in just fine, even Gracie is asleep, but Dean can't. The loss of familiarity is too much for him. Don't worry though, the longer they live there the easier it wll be for him. I hope you like the chapter, leave a comment, I love reading them and responding!


	25. Barbecues and Throw Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas decide to throw a small BBQ when Gabe asks if he can bring his son by to meet them, except a certain little princess wakes up from her nap not feeling quite so good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of us with kids, we've all been there. Toddlers with viruses are miserable, cranky, whiney little things, and all you can do is keep Tylenol and Motrin on hand and ride the storm out. I do not miss that part of my girls being little. Now if they get sick I hand them ibuprofen and Sudafed. Except 2 winters ago they both contracted Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease AND Viral Pharyngitis. AT THE SAME TIME. I took my older daughter out the day before her 15th b-day to Taco Bell (her fave), and she was fine. She woke up the morning of her birthday sick as a dog. Her throat was so raw it was actually bleeding, she had a fever I couldn't easily bring down, and her hands and feet itched so had she was in tears. I took her to the ER where she was diagnosed. There was basically nothing that could be done for her. They still rotated the fever reducers and they got the fever down finally (was pushing 105. We left with it at 101.8). She had a fever steadily for the next week and then on and off for another week as little red dots formed all over her hands and feet, and part way up her arms and legs. Ever little red mark became a hard lump that looked like a blister, and when they popped a weird powder came out of them and left actual holes in her hands and feet. I've never seen anything like it before. Just as she was starting to get over it all, her sister got sick, just in time for her birthday! Another trip to the ER for fevers that would NOT come down, bleeding throats, and blinding migraines along with the itching hands and feet. I'm not kidding when I say it took ALL WINTER for them to fully recover, and they lost fingernails AND toenails, and my younger daughter still has issues with a couple of nails that don't grow right now. It was like having teenager versions of dealing with the RSV virus that babies and toddlers can get. My girls both had that when they were babies, more than once. I couldn't get my kids to drink Pedialyte (can't get them to drink Gatorade now either), but they are normal popsicles. They helped. Sick kids, it's scary to deal with. These guys are lucky Jess is a nurse.

“Babe, what drawer did you put the cooking utensils in?” Cas called up the stairs. Dean was still in bed and he slowly blinked as he transitioned into consciousness.

“Whaaa…”

With a groan he pushed the blankets back and squinted at the alarm clock. It was a little after noon. Cas had let him sleep in. He was grateful for that. 

“What did you ask me?” He called back once he realized Cas had been asking a question.

“What drawer did you-” Cas fell silent for a moment. “Never mind, found them!”

Dean chuckled and dragged himself from the bed to head into the bathroom. He didn’t like the sleeping pill, he always felt a little disoriented the next morning. It wasn’t anything that a shower and some coffee couldn’t fix though. He took a quick shower and dressed in some sweats before heading downstairs. Cas was bouncing around the kitchen as he cooked, singing a song that Dean recognized as one he had written. He startled, hand flying to his chest when he realized Dean was behind him.

“Don’t do that!”

Dean chuckled and placed a quick kiss on his cheek before opening the fridge to pull out the orange juice.

“Where’s Gracie?” He asked as he got a cup down.

“She ate already. Take a peek around the corner and you’ll see what we’ve been up to this morning. For the record, she’s been up since seven.” Cas said. Dean took his glass of juice and did as Cas said, peeking around the corner. 

Gracie was standing at her art easel, a crayon in both hands. Cas had rigged a large roll of paper to cascade down the front of the easel so she had an endless drawing surface. She looked up and smiled when she spotted him.

“Hi daddy! I made pee-chure!” She pointed toward her artwork with the purple crayon in her left hand. He was fairly certain she was going to be left handed. He moved further into the room so he could see what she’d been working on. It was an abstract mess of practically every color in her crayon box with no discernible shape to it. Just squiggles and hard presses of wax on paper, but the look of extreme pride on her face delighted him.

“It’s beautiful! Can daddy put this on the fridge?”

She nodded, watching him carefully tear off the piece of paper. As he headed back to the kitchen she followed.

“Oh! Papa, look! Is petty on a fidge!” She had lost the crayons on her way to the kitchen and she clapped excitedly as Dean secured the picture to the fridge.

“Wow, that’s fantastic! You’re such a good artist!” Cas exclaimed as he studied the drawing. Gracie bounced up and down excitedly.

“I daw nuver one!” She cried before running from the room.

“Her speech is really coming along since she started school.” Dean pointed out. Cas nodded in agreement.

“Even Charlie can usually make out what she says now.”

Dean laughed at that. The doorbell rang and he went to go answer it. The light, happy feeling he’d been experiencing immediately soured once he opened the door and saw his future brother in law standing there.

“Hello Gabe.” He said, not bothering to hide his dislike of the man. It always upset Gabe to hear Dean speak to him like that. At one point they’d almost been friends, perfectly comfortable in one another’s company. Now Dean could barely stand to be in the same room as him.

“Hey Dean. Cassie here?”

Dean jerked a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the kitchen before heading out to the sun porch to join his daughter. Gabe closed the door and made his way to the kitchen.

“Gabe? What are you doing here?” Cas asked, surprised to see his brother.

“I, uh, wasn’t sure you guys had actually moved in yet, but I stopped by the apartment and when no one answered I figured you must have. I’d have helped you guys move in you know.” Gabe was a bit hurt that he hadn’t been asked.

“We had it covered. There were plenty of people already.” Cas slid the omelet he’d made Dean onto a plate.

“Dean!”

Dean returned to the room and Cas handed him the plate.

“And don’t even think of trying to leave the room with it. We decided all food would be eaten in the kitchen so Gracie doesn’t learn any bad habits.” Cas shook the flipper at him as he spoke which made Dean grin.

“Yes dear.” He teased before taking his plate over to the kitchen table, a gift from Ellen and Bobby. He sat with his back to Gabe and Cas so that he could look out the window. Gabe slid onto one of the stools at the island and watched as Cas set about rinsing the dirty pan and putting it in the dishwasher.

“So what brought you by today?” Cas asked him.

“I was wondering if you wanted to meet me son. He’s in town.” Gabe replied.

“Of course, he’s my nephew. How old is he again?” Cas asked.

“Almost thirteen.”

“He doesn’t live in town?” Cas took out the juice Dean had put away and offered his brother some. Gabe shook his head so Cas poured a glass for himself.

“Nan’s wife got a job in Chicago but they’re back down to visit family. Robby alternates between their house and mine, but I travel to Chicago four or five time a year to see him too. I went to dinner with them last night and today Robby wants to hang out. I’ve been telling him about you guys and he’d love to meet you all.” Gabe glanced over at Dean whose head was slightly turned so he could listen to the conversation.

“What do you say we do a barbecue Dean? Have them over, and a few other people, like Sam and Jess?” Cas asked. Dean turned around in his seat and for a second he thought the man was angry but then he smiled.

“Sure. I’ll run to the store and pick up some ground beef and other stuff.”

Cas moaned at the thought of Dean’s homemade burgers. “Dean makes the best burgers, just wait, you’ll see!”

Gabe chuckled. “Can’t wait. I’ll tell Nan and we’ll be back around, what, five?”

Dean nodded. “That’ll be fine.”

Gabe stood up. “Alright, see you later guys.”

He let himself out. Once he was gone Cas got up and went over to his fiancé, dropping down into Dean’s lap and wrapping his arms around his neck.

“Thank you baby, this means a lot. I want to get to know my nephew, and Nancy and I used to be friends when we were kids. She’s a nice lady you’ll like her, I’m sure.”

“Anything that makes you happy I’ll support.” Dean kissed the tip of his nose. Cas smiled and rubbed their noses together.

“Do you want to take Gracie or leave her here?”

“I think Georgia O’Keefe is busy creating crayon magic at the moment. I’ll leave her here.” Dean replied.

“Alright. I’ll go get the grill ready and since it’s a warm day maybe we can eat outside. Pick up paper plates and utensils while you’re out.” Cas said as he got up.

“Just text me a shopping list.”

Cas nodded as he ducked around the corner onto the sun porch.

“Hey!” Gracie yelled. Cas reappeared a moment later with a stolen piece of drawing paper.

“Did you just steal her paper?” Dean laughed.

“I’m not running all the way upstairs to dig around in my bag for a pen. If I don’t write down what I want you to get I won’t remember when I text you.” Cas explained. Gracie appeared in the kitchen doorway with her hands on her hips and a pissed off expression.

“Papa! Dat MY peepur!”

Cas turned to look at his daughter, biting on his lower lip to keep from laughing.

“Papa’s sorry princess. I had to make a note for daddy. Should I have daddy buy you more crayons?” He asked her.

“No!” She shouted before turning on her heels and storming out of the room and back to the sun porch.

“She gets that from you babe.” Dean wasn’t able to hold his laughter. Cas leveled him with a glare that lasted all of two seconds before he was laughing too.

“I know, damn it.” He chuckled to himself.

“I’m going to see if Sam wants to go with me. I’ll be back in a little while.” Dean gave him a kiss before grabbing his keys and the flannel he’d left hanging by the door.

“I’ll have the list to you by the time you reach the store.” Cas promised. Dean nodded and stepped out into the warm October afternoon.

It was unseasonably warm for this time of the year but Dean was glad for it. If he had to cook for a bunch of people he preferred for them to eat outside rather than inside his, as yet, still packed house. He didn’t even have a couch yet for the living room, just the two arm chairs since the old couch was now on the sun porch. He jogged across the street, humming as he made his way over to his brother’s house. As he rounded the big bush that Jess had decided to keep he saw his brother standing in his front yard with Kevin and Victor.

“Hey!” Kevin greeted, high fiving him.

“Hey guys, long time no see!” Dean greeted the guys.

“Where’d you come from Dean? I didn’t hear that monster of an engine pull up.” Victor asked.

“Oh, Dean and Cas just bought the house across the street.” Sam said, pointing past his brother at the house.

“Oh, nice! Uh, who’s Cas?” Kevin asked. Dean chuckled. He hadn’t talked to Kevin since the day he first met Cas, of course he wasn’t up to speed.

“Cas is my fiancé. I think you met him at the festival over the summer.” He said.

Kevin raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised to hear that but he played it cool.

“There were a lot of people there, care to be a little more specific?”

“The dude with the fedora, right?” Victor asked.

Dean nodded. “That’s the one.”

“Well, congrats man, on the engagement and the new house.” Victor shook his hand. Dean grinned and nodded. 

“Thanks man.”

“They have a little girl too. That one’s a longer story, but yeah, I have a niece.” Sam said, his eyes widening as though the very thought still surprised him.

“You-what?” The shock on Kevin’s face was almost comical.

“Gracie is her name, she just turned two in July.” Dean confirmed.

“Holy shit, I get wrapped up in school for a few months and the entire world goes on fast forward!” Kevin threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. Sam laughed.

“So Dean, what brought you over?” He asked.

“Well, Cas invited his brother and nephew over for a barbecue tonight. I was inviting you, but you guys are welcome too.” Dean said, looking at Victor and Kevin.

“Sounds good man, it’s been too long since I’ve had one of your burgers, and I want to meet your little girl.” Victor said.

“What time?” Kevin asked.

“Six. Just show up.” Dean replied.

“Sure thing. I could go for something that isn’t ramen noodles.” 

They all laughed at that.

“So you want me to go with you then?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, but not if I’m pulling you away from your friends.” Dean said looking at the other guys.

“Nah, we were just in the neighborhood. We’re on our way to Ruby’s.” Kevin said. Dean saw how his brother flinched at the mention of his ex.

“Hey, do me a favor? She’s, uh, not invited.” Dean said, noting how his brother was trying to look casual but appeared relieved to have him saying that.

“No problem man, we get it.” Victor said, glancing over at Sam. Everyone close to Sam knew what a stormy relationship he’d had with the temperamental brunette. Everyone except maybe Jess. Dean still thought that was wrong but it wasn’t his relationship.

When Victor and Kevin had left, Sam turned to Dean. “Let’s get going or you won’t be able to prep it all before people start arriving.” 

“You gonna tell Jess you’re leaving so she doesn’t come looking for you?” Dean asked.

“She’s at work. I’ll text her.” Sam replied.

They opted to take Sam’s truck. 

“How was your first night? Did Gracie sleep well?” Sam asked.

“She slept way better than I did.” Dean admitted. Sam glanced over at him.

“New place, not comfortable yet, right? I hardly slept the first week here. Kept waking up to every little noise. I had to go out and trim the tree in the backyard because every time there was a breeze it was hitting our bedroom window. Sounded like someone was tapping on it and it was freaking us both out.”

Dean was glad they didn’t have any trees in the back yard, but they did have one in the front. He intended to check out the branches at some point that week  
. Broken windows and roof damage were not something he had the extra money for right now.

“Yeah, I didn’t fall asleep til after three. Cas let me sleep in.” 

“Everything good with you then?” Sam asked. Dean tensed. He didn’t want to talk about his feelings with his brother. Sam always pushed too hard and wanted to expose every damn emotion.

“It’s all good. I’m happy, Cas’ is happy, and things are going very well with Gracie.” 

Sam gave a brief nod, accepting his answer. “Good to hear. What else are you making besides burgers tonight?”

Dean relaxed again. Food was something he’d happily talk about. As they made the drive they discussed what he planned to grill and what sides he would make. Sam offered to make a potato salad and Dean took him up on the offer. Even if it tasted awful it was one less dish he’d have to make, though he doubted it would be bad. Sam’s cooking had really improved the last few months.

They were just walking into the store when he got Cas’ text. It was longer than he’d though which was why it had taken nearly a half hour to send it. Sam grabbed the cart while Dean focused on adding everything from Cas’ list into it. As he moved along he grabbed other things he wanted, both for that night and for the rest of the week. The fridge was almost empty.

Dean was standing alone at the meat cases when someone touched his arm. He looked up expecting to see his brother but found himself looking at Lisa instead.

“I knew that was you Dean! How are you?” She smiled wide, white teeth flashing bright.

“I’m good, how, uh, are you?” His eyes darted around looking for Sam. Then he remembered his brother had left to get a bag of potatoes.

“That’s good to hear! I haven’t seen you around at any get-togethers lately.”

She was already standing closer than he liked, staring up with large doe eyes and he finally saw the opportunity to get her to leave him alone once and for all.

“Oh, yeah, no time for them. Between work, family and the new house I haven’t had much time to socialize.” He smiled and held up his hand so she could see the ring on his finger. Her eyes widened at the sight of it.

“You-you’re married?!”

“I will be as of Christmas Eve. We just bought a house.” He spotted dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets in a middle case and reached around the stunned woman to grab them.

“For our daughter Gracie, she loves them.” He smiled again. 

“Do I know her?” Lisa’s voice was strained and Dean had to fight to not burst out laughing.

“Her who?” He played dumb.

“Your fiancé.” She said, trying not to grit her teeth at the word.

“Oh, I’m not engaged to a woman.” He pulled out his phone and showed her his lock screen. It was Cas. Shirtless. 

“Oh!” This time she actually took a few steps back. Her expression of shock was something she couldn’t suppress. 

“I know him, isn’t he a friend of Meg’s or something?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. He knew it wasn’t the chill from this department getting to her, it was the ineligibility of another bachelor that had her upset.

“He’s Meg’s cousin.”

“Does she know?” 

“Would it matter if she did or didn’t? It’s none of her business what Cas or I do, but yes, she knows and she has already babysat for us twice.”

Lisa squirmed for a moment, eyeing the meat in the case rather than looking at him.

“I never had a chance, did I?” She finally asked.

He felt a little bad for her as he shook his head. “No, you didn’t.”

“So you’re gay?” She did look up at him and he could see a mixture of embarrassment and humiliation in her eyes.

“My orientation is a moot point. I never liked you the way you wanted me to.” He told her.

“Is he…gay?” She nodded towards the phone Dean was still holding.

“Yes he is, but again, it’s a moot point. He’s my other half and that’s what matters.”

She frowned and nodded. 

“You’ll find the right person for you someday.” He felt dumb saying it but he couldn’t think of anything else to tell her. Sam chose that moment to return.

“Hey, Cas wanted this brand.” Sam handed him two packages of hamburger buns. His eyes were on Lisa though. “Hey Lisa, how are you?”

She smiled weakly. “I’m ok, how are you?”

“I’m good. We’re going to have a New Year’s party at my house. I’m sure Jess will call you to give you the formal invite, but since you’re here now I figure I may as well tell you now.” He offered his friendliest smile and she smiled a little wider.

“Oh, ok. I’ll try to make it.” She glanced once more at Dean before turning her attention back to Sam.

“I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

When Sam was sure she was out of earshot he turned to his brother with one eyebrow raised. “You totally shut her down, didn’t you?” His tone was amused. Dean shrugged.

“She never had a snowball’s chance in hell, and I’m getting married. I don’t want her or anyone hanging all over me in a damn grocery store. It always made me uncomfortable and it’s disrespectful to my fiancé.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Come on, I just remembered I need mayo for the salad.” Sam grabbed the cart and started pushing it. Dean followed. Lisa needed to be told in no uncertain terms that he was not available, and he had done that, but it didn’t stop him from feeling like a complete heel.

 

When he got home Cas knew right away that something was wrong. Dean was quiet as he carried the bags inside and began putting things away. He didn’t respond with anything more than one or two words when Cas tried to engage him in conversation and as he started making the burgers he could see the little furrow in the man’s brow. 

“Ok, stop. What happened while you were at the store?” Cas asked. Dean paused in kneading the spices into the meat and looked up at him.

“Am I an asshole?”

Cas cocked his head forward, certain he’d heard him wrong. “I’m sorry…what?”

“Am I an asshole? Do I say the wrong things?” Dean asked.

“You are most certainly not an asshole, Dean. We all say the wrong thing sometimes, it’s part of being human. Do you think you said something wrong to someone? You didn’t get in a fight with your brother, did you?” Cas moved closer, leaning on the counter and looking up at his fiancé’s face when he refocused on the meat, the furrow in his brow growing deeper.

“Sam and I were shopping and Lisa was there.” Dean said. Cas tensed, waiting to see where Dean was going with this. He stopped kneading the meat and looked up at Cas.

“She’s been clingy and flirting for a while and I never liked it, it always made me uncomfortable, so when she found me in the store today and started getting close and touching me all I wanted to do was rub it in her face that I had you, and that we’re getting married. I just wanted her to stop getting all up in my space. But the look on her face…I think she’s one of those really sensitive people, and I hurt her feelings. I feel like an asshole.” 

Dean’s shoulders slumped and he sighed deeply. Cas moved closer, avoiding his meat covered hands and slipping his arms around his waist.

“Baby, I know you didn’t do it to deliberately hurt her, and I’m sure she knows that too. You just needed her to back off, and she wasn’t taking no for an answer. That doesn’t make you an asshole, that makes her pushy, and without comprehension of boundaries. She wanted you and she’s just upset that someone else got you. Did you say anything else?”

“I told her she had never had a chance. I didn’t say it to be mean, I just wanted her to know that the flirting, it was pointless. She started asking if I was gay and if you were gay. It’s none of her business, and I tried to say that in the most tactful way I could think of. But she looked like she was going to cry when she walked away.”

Cas kissed the back of his neck before letting go of Dean’s waist to pull his phone from his pocket.

“Who are you calling?” Dean asked as he watched Cas press a number and put the phone to his ear. Cas held up a finger to him, asking him to wait.

“Hey, Jess? Yeah, can you do me a favor? Can you call your friend Lisa and make sure she’s ok? Yes…ok, so Sam told you…” He nodded as he listened to her talking.

“Ok. Dean thinks he hurt her feelings and he’s feeling bad about it. Could you just text me or whatever, let me know she’s ok? Thank you, we’ll see you guys in a couple of hours.”

Cas hung up the phone and stuck it back in his pocket.

“She’s going to give her a call under the pretense of inviting her to the New Year’s party and check up on her.” He said. Dean nodded and went back to forming patties out of the meat. 

“Can you go get the grill started?” 

“Sure.” Cas went outside to start it while Dean finished making the burgers. When Cas came back Dean was at the sink washing his hands.

“Where’s Gracie? She’s awful quiet.” Dean asked.

“Down for a nap. She was falling asleep sitting at the table earlier eating her lunch.” Cas replied.

Cas’ phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket.

“It’s Jess.” He said before answering it. “Hey…”

He leaned back against the counter next to the sink and crossed his ankles. His eyes were on Dean’s face as he listened to Jess talking.

“She what?” Cas asked, letting out a surprised laugh. “Ok, sure, that’ll ease his mind. Thanks. Oh, yeah, I hate onions. Ok, bye.”

“What was that about?” Dean dried his hands on a dish towel and looked at Cas.

“Sam’s going to make me some potato salad without onions.” Cas replied. Dean rolled his eyes. 

“Good for you. I mean about Lisa.”

“Oh, apparently Lisa has a boyfriend already. She was just hoping you were as interested in her as she was in you so she could dump him and go out with you.” Cas shook his head. “That woman is a real piece of work.”

Dean grimaced. “Wow, and here I felt bad about hurting her feelings. What a bitch!”

Cas pulled Dean close and wrapped his arms around him again. “I told you that you were beating yourself up needlessly. You’re considerate of other peoples’ feelings. That alone makes you not an asshole. She was in the wrong constantly pushing herself on you. You had every right to tell her to leave you alone. She wouldn’t until you gave her a legitimate reason to.” He kissed the sensitive spot just behind Dean’s ear.

 

“Don’t worry about how other people take it when you tell them to back off. You have every right to tell them to stop.” He pressed his hips against Dean’s, drawing a moan from the other man.

“Babe…” Dean grabbed Cas’ ass and pulled him closer.

The doorbell rang.

“Damn it!” Dean hissed. Cas kissed him quickly before going to answer the door. Dean picked up the plates with the uncooked burgers and started for the backdoor. Cas had already set out his cooking utensils and he was putting burgers on the grill when Cas came out the back door followed by a tall woman with short black hair and another, shorter woman with a head full of curly, dark blonde hair.

“Dean, I want you to meet Nancy and Liz.” Cas said as he came down the steps. The two women followed. Dean got the last of the burgers onto the grill and turned to face them.

“Hi Dean, I’m Nancy.” The taller woman introduced herself. Dean shook her hand, smiling and nodded.

“Nice to meet you Nancy.” He shook hands with Liz too. “Nice to meet you as well Liz.”

“Nice to meet you too Dean.”

“Where’s Gabe and Robby?” He asked.

“Oh, they’re on their way. Gabe took him for ice cream.” Nancy explained.

“He did always have a sweet tooth.” Cas said with a laugh. Nancy laughed at that.

“Yes, he never outgrew it.”

The sound of a screaming toddler drew their attention.

“If you’ll excuse me I must go and get the diva.” Cas said as he went back inside.

“Gabe said you guys have a daughter, is she here?” Dean asked.

“Yes, Maya’s in the house. You have blocks on the floor in the living room and she found those right away.” Liz said.

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, I have those there so that when I’m in the kitchen I can keep an eye on Gracie. How old is Maya?”

“She’ll be four next month.” Nancy replied.

They all turned at the sound of the screen door opening. Cas stepped out onto the porch with Gracie in his arms. She was rubbing at her eyes and Dean could see that she had been crying. When she spotted Dean she started whining and reached out for him. Cas brought her down the steps and handed her over.

“Oh, she’s beautiful.” Nancy said.

“Thank you.” Dean smoothed down his daughter’s wild hair, frowning when he realized her skin was warmer than usual.   
“Hey Cas? She’s a bit warm.” He pressed a hand against his daughter’s forehead and she whined, turning away from his touch.

“May I?” Nancy’s hand hovered over Gracie’s back and Dean nodded. She slipped her hand under the baby’s shirt, touching her back and then her chest.

“She is warm. I’d say she’s already pushing about a hundred and one. Do you have a thermometer?”

Cas was already hurrying back into the house. He returned a minute later with the thermometer in one hand and a bottle of liquid Tylenol in the other. They had invested in a thermometer that they only had to stick in her ear for a few seconds and he did that now. Gracie squirmed but he followed her movements, keeping the device in place until it beeped.

“Wow, you’re good, it’s a hundred and one point four.” Cas shoved the thermometer in his pocket and shook the medicine. He filled the syringe with the correct dose and coaxed his daughter into taking it.

“Take her and get some socks and shoes on her, ok? And see if you can, get her to lay back down for a bit.” Dean said as he handed her back to Cas. Gracie cried, something she rarely ever did and it broke both of her dads’ hearts to hear it.

“Come on princess, papa’s going to get you some milk.” Cas cooed as he took her back inside.

“It’s the time of year for kids to get sick. Does she go to school?” Liz asked.

“Yeah, we put her in preschool. This is the first time she’s been sick though.” Dean frowned. He’d have to call the doctor tomorrow.

“Really? She’s a lucky girl then.” Nancy said.

“What I mean is that’s the first time she’s been sick since she came to live with us. I’ll have to ask her aunt if she got sick as a baby.” He noted the confused look on their faces.

“Ok, so Gracie is mine biologically. I dated a girl, she got pregnant on purpose and didn’t tell me. A few months back she died in a car accident and her sister called me to tell me I had a daughter. Cas and I went and picked her up in August.” 

“Oh my! She never said a word?” Nancy asked, shocked.

“No. She thought she could get me to come back to her and then sort of trap me with Gracie so I wouldn’t leave. Just goes to show how she didn’t know me. I’d have fought for custody of my daughter, but I’d have never gone back to her.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I wonder what people are thinking sometimes.” Liz said sadly.

“Yeah, me too.” Dean sighed. He lifted the lid on the grill to check on the burgers. It was almost time to flip them. 

“Mommy?” A beautiful little girl with caramel skin and honey colored eyes stepped out onto the porch. 

“Yes sweetheart?” Liz asked.

“The man inside said I needed to tell the baby’s daddy that she’s throwing up. He’s giving her a bath and he needs help.”

Dean groaned. “Thank you.” He told her.

“You’re welcome.” The little girl replied before disappearing back into the house.

“I never would have invited you over if I’d known she was sick, I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“Please, we’ve been through all of it. Robby got sick a lot when he was little. His ears didn’t drain right and he was always getting sore throats and colds. When he was four it was determined that he needed tubes in his ears to drain the fluid that was building up. Later he had a procedure done to reconstruct parts of both canals. He doesn’t have drainage problems anymore.” Nancy explained.

“I’ve heard of that before. Do you think it’s just a cold Gracie has?” He asked.

“Kids get all sorts of viruses. Most likely it’ll be through her system in about a week.” Nancy said.

“Hey, why don’t I take over here and you go check on Cas and your daughter?” Liz held out her hand and Dean happily handed over the flipper he was holding on to.

“I’ll be back in a bit. Thank you.”

Dean hurried into the house and up to the second floor. He expected Cas to have Gracie in the main bathtub but he found them instead in their master bathroom. To his relief Gracie looked happy playing with her toy boats.

“Her temp already dropped. It’s under a hundred now.” Cas said when Dean walked in.

“She threw up?” Dean asked, kneeling down next to the tub. Gracie smiled up at him and he could see how red her cheeks were.

“Yeah, all over me. I need a new shirt.” Cas replied. Dean realized the man was naked from the waist up.

“Go on and grab a new one. I’ll sit with her for a bit.”

Once Cas had left the room he turned his attention to his little girl.

“Hi princess, does your tummy hurt?” 

“No daddy. I frowed up. ‘S ok.” When she looked up he could see the dark circles under her eyes and the broken blood vessels in her cheeks from the fever. She was pale too. Her current mood he attributed to the Tylenol. Cas returned a few minutes later wearing one of Dean’s Henley shirts, but he didn’t mind. The man looked darn good in it. Downstairs the doorbell rang.

“Go on, I got this.” Cas said as he pushed his sleeves up. Dean got to his feet and kissed Cas’ cheek on his way out of the room. He made his way down to the first floor and opened the door to find Gabe standing there with a boy that Dean knew had to be Robby. He had his father’s smirk, even though he wasn’t smiling currently.

“Everything ok Deano?” Gabe asked when he got a look at his face.

“Gracie’s sick. It’s a bad cold or flu or something. Cas is giving her a bath right now.” Dean stepped aside and motioned for them to come inside. 

“Dang, that’s hard when they’re that little and they get sick. Did you give her Tylenol?” Gabe asked as he ushered his son into the house.

“Yes. It seems to have helped for now.” Dean shut the door and led them towards the kitchen.

“Dean, this is my son Robby. Robby, this here is Dean. He’s going to be your uncle very soon.” Gabe had his hands on his son’s shoulders, turning the boy to face Dean. He was a cute kid with bright, amber colored eyes and dark hair swept over his face in a style that Dean had seen on a lot of kids lately. He wanted to brush it out of the boy’s eyes but he knew that wouldn’t go over very well. Instead he offered his hand and smiled.

“Nice to meet you Robby.” The boy smiled and shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you to. Do, uh, I call you Uncle Dean now or...?” He looked up at his dad for guidance.

“I don’t think the wedding’s getting called off any time soon, so now should be fine, right Deano?” Gabe asked. 

“Definitely not getting called off, so yeah.” Dean agreed.

Gabe took his hands off his son’s shoulders and watched as the boy made his way into the living room, crouching down next to his sister to examine the tower she had built out of the blocks.

“They get along well?” Dean asked.

“As well as most siblings I think. He’s very protective of her and she does everything she can to work his last nerve.”

“Ah, so…typical kids.” Dean snorted and began pulling out bags of chips.

“Basically. Where’s Nan and Liz?” Gabe asked.

“Liz is working the grill for me. I went to check on Cas and Gracie.” Dean replied.

“Can I help?” Gabe asked as he saw Dean start opening bags.

“Put these into bowls? I want to make some soup for Gracie, she’s not going to be able to eat any of this.” Dean handed the man a couple of bowls and pushed the bags of chips over to him. 

Dean had made a can of chicken noodle soup for his daughter and was just pouring it into a bowl when Cas appeared. Gracie was dressed in footed pajamas, her wet hair already blow dried and pulled back with a clip so it didn’t hang in her eyes.

“I hungy daddy.” 

“I know princess, daddy made you some soup.” Dean carried the bowl to her high chair and waited for Cas to secure her in it before he set the bowl down.

Gabe walked over to his niece and bent over to get a look at her face.

“Robby got this a few times when he was little. She’s going to be a miserable wretch for a few days. I hope you have plenty of popsicles in the freezer and a lot of liquid Tylenol.”

“Popsicles?” Dean looked over at Cas who shook his head.

“I’ll have to pick some up.” He said. Dean nodded.

Gabe stood up straight again. “Keep an eye on the fever and keep her comfortable. That’s really all you can do.” He motioned to his son for the boy to join them.

“Cas, this is my son Robby. Robby, say hi to your Uncle Cas.” 

“Hi Uncle Cas. This is a great house, but why don’t you have a couch?”

Cas and Dean both chuckled. 

“We do have one but Gracie decided to draw on it with marker, so we put it out there.” Cas pointed towards the sun porch. “And we’re buying a nicer one for the living room.”

“Oh, ok. Can I have something to drink?”

“Well, depending on what your dad says you can have there is juice, milk and soda in the fridge.” Dean said. Robby turned to his dad.

“Can I have a soda?”

Gabe nodded. “Only one, you know your mom’s rules.”

“He looks a lot like Nancy.” Cas remarked as they watched the boy take the soda through the sun porch and out into the back yard.

“He acts a lot like her too, which I guess is a good thing.” Gabe mused.

“I’m going to go relieve Liz. Listen for the door, I invited Kevin and Victor and they should be here soon.” Dean told Cas.

“Ok.”

Once Dean was gone Gabe turned to his brother.

“Who are Kevin and Victor?” He asked.

“Friends of Sam mostly, but Dean’s friends with them too.” Cas replied.

“Sam is Dean’s brother, right?”

“Yes. He and Jess should be here soon.” Cas grabbed a wash cloth and sat down in the chair next to Gracie’s high chair, ready to clean her hands and face. She was picking at the soup, pulling noodles out and nibbling on them but not really eating very much.

“Are you tired sweetheart?” He asked her. She shook her head.

“I wanna pay.”

“How about I put on a movie in daddy and papa’s room and you lay down to watch it? Want papa to put on Frozen for you?” 

Her little face lit up. “Anna! Elsa!” She cried.

“Frozen?” Maya piped up from the living room.

Gabe chuckled. “Put it on in the living room and let the girls sit and watch it, but sit them away from each other.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’ll just feel guilty if Gracie gets the other kids sick.” Cas sighed.

“Bro, it’s the start of cold and flu season anyway. If they don’t catch it here, they’ll catch it elsewhere. Robby caught swine flu at school two years ago. Now THAT was scary. He had to be hospitalized for dehydration and fluid in his lungs. It was scary as hell.” Gabe said.

“Geez, I don’t even want to think about her getting sick like that.” Cas frowned and studied his daughter’s face. She was trying to capture a piece of chicken that was floating in the bowl. So far her spoon still sat unused.

“I done.” She announced. “I wanna see Elsa.” Cas chuckled as he wiped his daughter’s hands and face off. Gabe took the high chair tray off carefully so the soup didn’t spill and Cas picked his daughter up.

Cas carried Gracie into the living room. Her pack and play was in the corner of the room and with one hand he set it up and put Gracie down inside it. She was tall enough now to climb out if she wanted to, but she instead laid down.

“Want my blankie papa.” 

They kept extra blankets in a trunk in the corner that doubled as a table, and one in particular was Gracie’s favorite. He took that one and her little pillow and brought them both back to her. Once she was wrapped up in her blanket he got the movie started. Maya abandoned the blocks and climbed up into one of the armchairs. Just then the doorbell rang.

“I got it.” Gabe called out. 

Cas moved the pack and play so Gracie had a clear view of the television.

“Hey Cas.” 

He turned around to see Jess and Sam standing there.

“Hey. Oh, hey! Jess, can you take a look at Gracie for me? I nearly forgot that you’re a nurse.” Cas said. She moved over to his side and peered down at the little girl who was curled up with her blanket.

“She’s sick?” She asked as she pressed a hand to Gracie’s forehead.

“She woke up from her nap with a fever, and she threw up. I gave her Tylenol.” He said.

“She’s a tiny bit warm. I’d set an alarm for every three hours. Tylenol needs to be administered every four. Get some children’s Motrin and rotate them. Basically every three hours or so you can give her one or the other. It’ll keep the fever down so it doesn’t get out of control. If it spikes too high too fast she could have a seizure.” She explained. When she looked up she could see the fear in his eyes.

“No, honey, relax. Kids get sick all the time. She’s a little bit too old for febrile seizures, but it’s not impossible. Just watch the fever.” 

He nodded. “Gabe said to get her popsicles too.”

“Good idea. Not only are they cold, but they’re usually soothing to a sore throat, and babies can’t articulate properly to tell us when their throats hurt. They’ll also help to keep her hydrated if she stops taking in fluids. Kids almost never resist popsicles. Regular popsicles are fine but you can pick up some Pedialyte ones too. She may not like those though, so keep regular ones handy just in case.”

“I think I’m going to run to the store real quick.” He said.

“I’ll go with you if you want, so you know what to get.” She offered.

“Please.” He was grateful for her guidance.

 

Sam watched Jess leave to help Cas with Gracie. He turned to look at Cas’ brother. The man was a virtual midget next to him.

“So you’re Gabe.” 

Gabe nodded. “Yep. And since you showed up with a girl I’m assuming you are Sam, not Kevin or Victor.” 

Sam chuckled and carried the bowl in his hands into the kitchen. “I am. My girlfriend’s name is Jess. Those your kids?” He nodded towards Maya and Robby.”

“That’s my son Robby. It’s a bit complicated but Maya is actually my ex’s little girl. She’s out in the yard with Dean and her wife.” Gabe replied.

“Oh, ok.” Sam stuck the potato salad into the fridge and grabbed a soda. He was surprised that there wasn’t any beer in there. Dean always had beer in the fridge. 

“Can you let Dean know I’m running to the store?” Cas was walking in the kitchen, shrugging a jacket on. Jess was with him.

“Sure. You might want to pick up some beer too.” Sam nodded towards the fridge.

“Oh, no, we don’t keep that in the house anymore.” Cas said before nodding to Jess to follow him. 

“Don’t keep beer anymore? Since when?” Sam muttered to himself.

“Maybe they’re afraid Gracie will get into it.” Gabe suggested.

“Maybe.” Sam hadn’t considered that. 

Dean walked in with the burgers and two ladies following him. Gabe introduce Sam to them both.

“Very nice to meet you.” Nancy said as she shook Sam’s hand.

“Where’s Cas?” Dean said, looking around.

“He went to the store with Jess to get some stuff for Gracie.” Sam replied. Dean spotted the movie playing and the pack and play.

“As long as she’s content and quiet, I’m good.” He grabbed the buns and the paper plates. It had gotten just a bit too chilly to comfortably eat outside so he pulled out the table and added the leaf so they could all eat at it. The doorbell rang.

“I got it.” Gabe said, and left to answer it.

“Hey!” Kevin was greeting them all a few seconds later. Victor was next to him, smiling wide, a twelve pack of beer in one hand and a cherry pie in the other. Dean’s face lit up at the sight of the pie. He took it from Victor and set it on the counter by the stove.

“Thanks guys, this will not go to waste!”

“Where do you want me to put this?” Victor held up the beer. Dean glanced at the box in his hand before motioning towards the fridge.

“Just put it in there, drawer in the bottom.” 

Victor put it in the fridge and accepted a plate with a burger when it was handed to him.

“Everyone have a seat at the table, there’s room for most everyone.” Dean ended up standing at the island with Sam and Kevin while everyone else sat and conversed. Maya was called into the kitchen but she could still see the TV from the table. Normally Dean didn’t leave the TV on but he wasn’t turning it off with Gracie so sick. He finished his food, grabbed a soda and went to check on her. 

“Her fever’s climbing again.” He sighed as he returned to the kitchen.

“They should be back soon. Jess was telling Cas to get children’s Motrin and for you guys to alternate it with the Tylenol.” Sam told him.

“Oh that’s right, you have a little girl. Is she sleeping?” Kevin asked.

“Not really, she’s engrossed in the movie.” Dean motioned for Kevin to follow him to the living room. Gracie looked up at the two men, her eyes lingering on Kevin.

“This is my daughter Gracie.” Dean told him.

“Hi Gracie.” Kevin said, and smiled at her. She stared for a moment longer before he eyes returned to the TV.

“She’s usually friendlier but she’s sick.” Dean said as they went back to the kitchen.

“It’s cool, that’s what I figured. She looks miserable.” 

The front door opened and Cas came walking in with Jess. His arms were filled with bags that Sam and Dean both hurried to grab them from him.

“What is all this?” Dean asked as he set them on the counter and began going through them.

“Mostly stuff for Gracie.” Cas replied. He began pulling stuff out.

“Popsicles?” Dean asked, surprised as he pulled a box out.

“Trust me, they’ll be a Godsend when she’s hot and cranky and her throat hurts.” Jess said.

Dean put the box in the freezer along with the Pedialyte ones Cas handed him. Cas was pulling tissues, disinfectant wipes, liquid Motrin, tea, and soup out of one bag.

“You think she’ll drink tea?” Dean asked.

“If you sweeten it a bit she will. It’ll taste like juice but chamomile will help her sleep.” Jess explained.

“Cool.”

“If she doesn’t drink it, I will.” Cas said. Dean knew how much Cas liked tea. He liked it almost as much as he liked coffee.

They got everything put away while Cas and Jess went to check on Gracie’s fever. It was pushing seven and she was whining as she rubbed at her little nose and eyes.

“Firsty papa.” She reached up to him and he picked her up, cradling her against his chest as he carried her to the kitchen.

“She’s thirsty daddy.” Cas sat her on the counter while he gave her a dose of Motrin. Dean took the bottle of Pedialyte Jess handed him and poured some into a sippy cup. He handed it to Gracie and watched to see how she would respond. She wrinkled her nose after the first sip but continued drinking it. 

Cas pulled fresh fruits from another bag and after rinsing off a couple of blueberries he offered them to her. She popped one in her mouth.

“Mmm, is good papa.” She grabbed another one and ate it.

“High in antioxidants which will help strengthen her immune system.” Jess explained.

“Thank you Jess, for helping with all of this.” Dean said as he slung an arm around her shoulder. She smiled at the little girl as she accepted more blueberries from Cas.

“I did a long stint in the ER and saw so many kids come through with all sorts of viruses. As long as you keep on top of it and keep her fed and hydrated, and keep that fever under control she’ll be fine.” She said. 

Gracie ate a few more blueberries before she started rubbing at her eyes again. She had finished the Pedialyte as well.

“Milk peese daddy.” She held her cup out and he took it, rinsing it and filling it with milk. As he handed it back to her he felt her forehead.

“It’s down again.”

“I already set the alarm.” Cas said.

“You ready for bed mama?” Dean asked Gracie as he picked her up. She nodded.

“Ok, I’ll be back once I get her into bed.” He said. Cas watched them leave.

“I have my fingers crossed that this doesn’t get much worse. I was counting on her going to school tomorrow so Dean and I could get some unpacking done without her underfoot.” He sighed.

“I get off at 2. I can watch her at that time if she’s still feeling bad.” Jess offered. Cas gave a tired smile and nodded. 

“Thank you.”

He grabbed a plate of food and joined his guests at the table. This wasn’t how he expected his Sunday evening to go. As he bit into his burger he had one thought: He hoped both Dean and Gracie got some sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am aware that Cas gave Gracie milk and she threw up. And they just gave her milk again before putting her to bed. I did that on purpose. Some things new parents need to learn the hard way...
> 
> I hope you like the chapter. Leave a comment, let me know what you think. Love you guys!


	26. Pretty Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas tags along to the bridal shop with Gracie with the intentions of just perusing the selection of flower girl dresses the store carries. Gracie on the other hand is a diva who will not be denied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter of papa/daughter bonding, but final closure with another person from Dean's past. And Gracie is just typical "Gracie" in this chapter.

Cas expected more problems with Gracie that night than he did with Dean, but it turned out to be the other way around. After everyone left they cleaned up and Cas decide to use the disinfectant wipes to start wiping down anything Gracie might have touched. He told Dean to go on up to bed without him but when he made it up to their bedroom around eleven he found Dean unpacking instead of sleeping.

“Dean, baby, I thought you’d be asleep by now.” He said as he found his pair of pajama pants from the night before and put them on. 

“Can’t sleep. Taking advantage of the fact that she’s asleep and I can get some of this done.” Dean replied. 

He had about a third of the room unpacked and organized, much to Cas’ surprise but it was clear that Dean was wired and not ready for sleep.

“If you keep this up you’ll have no energy to deal with her when she wakes up later, because it’s highly doubtful that she’s going to sleep through the night.” Cas walked over and gently took the picture frame from Dean’s hand. He led the man over to the bed.

“I can’t sleep babe. I’m exhausted, I want to sleep but I just can’t.” Dean said as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Cas could hear the frustration in his voice. 

“Well, I know you don’t want a repeat of last night. If you take your pill now you’ll wake up earlier and we can get some stuff done before Gracie gets up for the day.” Cas told him.

“I hate those things.” Dean complained. 

“I know. But you need your sleep or you’ll get sick too. We only have two days before you have to get back to work and I need to get back to my classes, and I want to take advantage of them as much as possible. We won’t really have more time til Christmas break, and that’s when we’ll be on our honeymoon, so I will get your pill, we’ll get a good night’s sleep, and tomorrow we’ll get as much unpacked as we possibly can.” Cas pushed Dean’s legs apart and stood with his belly pressed up against Dean’s chest. Dean wrapped his arms around him an laid his head against Cas’ chest.

“Fine, but I’m not going to get into the habit of taking those stupid things every night.” 

Cas stood there a few moments longer just carding his fingers through Dean’s hair until he felt the man finally starting to relax a little.

“I know baby, but soon this place will start to feel like home, and once it does a lot of your anxiety will dissipate. Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed while I get that for you.” He leaned down to kiss the top of Dean’s head before heading down to the kitchen to grab a glass. He made a mental note to keep it in their bathroom for nights like tonight from this point on. When he came back upstairs Dean was dressed in a tee shirt and pajama pants. Cas could smell the minty toothpaste on him.

“I can’t take it, what if Gracie needs more medicine? The fever…” Dean frowned and looked towards the door.

“Dean, I’ll handle it. Just take this and lay down.” Cas had ducked into the bathroom to grab the little pill while Dean was turning down the bed and he handed both the pill and the glass of water over. Dean glared at the pill for a second before swallowing it with half the glass of water. He set the glass on the nightstand and crawled into the bed. Cas went around to his side, turning off the light as he slid under the covers. Dean turned on his side, curling his entire body around Cas’, enveloping him in his warm embrace. This was why he didn’t bother wearing a shirt to bed most nights, Dean was a leech and put off enough body heat to keep them both warm. Dean sighed as he snuggled closer and Cas smiled, bringing one hand up to continue running his fingers through the short dirty blonde hair on his fiancé’s head.

“You think she’ll be alright? It’s just a cold, right?” Dean asked.

“I think she’s a tough little girl and is being very well taken care of. She’ll be fine, but just in case I’m calling her pediatrician first thing in the morning. If he can squeeze her in I’ll take her. Otherwise I feel very lucky to have Jess in our lives.” Cas replied.

“Yeah, she’s pretty special.” 

“She’s dying for Sam to propose. Has he said anything about that?” Cas asked.

“Not to me. Knowing him though he has the ring picked out and some sappy plan for a proposal on some special date, like the anniversary of the day he first heard her burp, or something stupid like that.” Dean said with a snort.

“So, naked proposals aren’t his thing?” Cas laughed.

“No, that’s all you babe.” Dean grinned up at him. Cas leaned down to kiss him.

“Can’t say you’ll ever forget it though, right?”

“How on earth could I ever forget that?” Dean said dryly. He studied the ring on his finger. He loved the little piece of metal and what it stood for. 

“Charlie took the deposit down and rented the hall. It’ll be all in one, wedding and reception together. Sometime this week she’s going to put the deposit down on the cake. I’m surprised she was able to get any place at all to host the wedding at. She said she had some people that owed her favors, otherwise the hall would have been booked clear up til July of next year.” He said.

“Did you see the hall? Is it nice?” Cas asked.

“It’s very nice. It’ll make the entire wedding seem much fancier than it really is.”

Cas huffed out a laugh at that. “She knows what flowers I want, right?”

“She has a list. I told her what I want too, and she’s taking Gracie to get her dress about two weeks before hand. She said if she takes her now, she could end up going through a growth spurt and outgrowing the dress between now and then.”

“At least I don’t have to buy a suit, I have my tux.” Cas said.

“No, I’ve seen you in that. You need a new suit babe.” Dean insisted.

“Is that what you want Dean?”

Dean nodded.

“Ok, I’ll go look for a new suit.” 

Dean yawned and rubbed his cheek against Cas’ chest as he got even more comfortable.

“Good. I already have mine.”

Cas was surprised by that.

“What…what color is it?”

“I’m not telling. But it’s not white. Or black.” Dean yawned again as the medicine began to kick in.

“Has Charlie seen it?” Cas wondered aloud.

“Yes. She was with me when I picked it out.”

“Ok, then I’ll let her pick out mine too, that way I don’t pick something that ruins the entire theme.” He decided.

“Baby, you could walk up the aisle absolutely butt naked and you would look amazing. I’m not marrying the clothes you’ll be wearing, I’m marrying you. I don’t care what you wear, but I do want to see you in something I’ve never seen before.” Dean kissed Cas’ chest and closed his eyes. 

They lay quietly for a long time. Cas was lost in thought, going over the details of the wedding in his head before he realized that Dean was actually asleep. He wanted to get some sleep himself before Gracie woke him up so he let his thoughts go free and settled into a calm, dream free sleep.

 

Gracie only woke up twice during the night, and she went back to sleep easier than Cas had anticipated. He gave her some fever reducer each time, changed her diaper and laid her back down. She sounded congested so the second time she woke up he also gave her the cold medicine Jess had told him to invest in. He crawled back into bed a little after seven and this time latched onto Dean. The room was cold and once he was under the covers again he didn’t want to get up just to grab a tee shirt. Dean woke at nine feeling refreshed and ready to start his day. Cas groaned as he felt the man shift and he cracked one blue eye open to look up at him.

“Did she wake up at all?” Dean turned onto his side, facing him.

“Yes, but thankfully she went right back to sleep after getting her medicine. She’s congested now too, so gave her some Dimetapp.”

“Did you get enough sleep?” Dean asked as he ran his hand down Cas’ side.

“Yeah, I did. Doesn’t mean I want to get up though. It’s so warm here…” Cas slid closer and threw a leg over Dean to pull him closer. Dean chuckled and leaned in to kiss his throat. Cas sighed contentedly and tipped his head back to give him better access. Dean just smiled and continued to kiss along his jaw until he reached his chin and then his mouth.

“Thank you baby. I feel much better this morning because I slept.” He murmured. Cas smiled and kissed him softly.

“I knew you would.” 

Dean decided morning breath was tolerable and leaned in to kiss him deeper. Cas moaned and was just reaching for the man’s ass to pull him closer when the bedroom door opened. They flew apart, both sitting up unsure what to expect, but neither anticipating it being Gracie.

“Daddy, I go pee pee.” Her voice was hoarse and her cheeks were red. He quickly got up and went over to her.

“You have to go pee pee?” He asked though the stench of urine in the air told him it was probably too late for that. She shook her head. 

“If you want to give her a quick rinse down I’ll go start the laundry.” Cas said as he got up. This time he did stop to grab a tee shirt.

“What is the temperature outside? Did it drop overnight?” Dean asked as he shivered.

“I think it did. We need to make sure we didn’t leave any windows open.” Cas left Dean to give Gracie a bath while he went to strip her crib and try to figure out how she got out of it in the first place. It didn’t take him but a second to realize she had piled her pillows and blanket up and used them for leverage. He sighed as he grabbed her laundry basket and dumped all the soiled linens in it. It was time to convert the crib into a bed. 

He took everything to the laundry room which he was very grateful was there on the second floor, stopping to grab the sleeper Gracie had been wearing and tossing that in too. He emerged from the laundry room just in time to hear his daughter squealing as she ran naked down the hall and into her own room. Dean was chasing behind her with the towel in his hands. He stopped to grin at Cas. 

“What on earth?” Cas asked, laughing.

“She has a burst of energy. Didn’t want to stand still long enough to let me dry her off!” Dean said as he dashed into the bedroom. Cas followed, a huge grin on his face as he watched Dean chase Gracie as she giggled and tried to escape him. He finally caught her and wrapped her up in the fluffy towel.

“Daddy, no!” She was giggling as he sat her down on her little plastic yellow chair and proceeded to rub her head to dry her hair.

“Babe, grab me a diaper, would ya?” Dean asked.

“Yeah babe, gab a diaper!” Gracie said and then burst into another fit of giggles. Cas couldn’t help but laugh. He grabbed a pull up instead of a diaper and handed it over.

“What’s this?” Dean asked.

“I picked them up last night. To further her potty training.” Cas explained. Gracie gasped and clapped her hand when she saw the characters of Frozen were on them. Dean managed to get them on her and pulled them up. She stood and pointed each person out.

“Daddy, look! Is Elsa! Oh! Daddy! Is Olaf!” He nodded and made sure to sound excited about each one that she pointed out. Cas was grabbing warm clothes and handing them over, and Dean managed to get her dressed. Since the house was cold he put socks and her Olaf slippers on as well. He scooped her up and they all headed down to the kitchen.

“Someone’s feeling better. No fever.” Dean pointed out as he got her secured in her high chair. He poured her a bowl of cereal and handed her a spoon.

“Good.” Cas said as he started a pot of coffee. Dean started walking around the first floor looking for open windows. He found two in the living room still open and he quickly shut them. Almost immediately the house felt warmer.

Cas noticed that despite feeling better, Gracie’s nose was running and her cheeks were still flushed. She had a slight cough too but it wasn’t wet so he didn’t worry too much about it. She was in a better mood though and accepted the medicine he gave her without complaint. 

“I think it’s just a cold.” He declared when a half hour later her nose had finally dried up.

“So we work down here. You want to tackle the living room I’ll tackle the kitchen? I put most of the kitchen boxes out in the garage so I need to go get them, but I don’t want her left alone.” Dean nodded towards were Gracie was now sitting in the living room watching Frozen. He couldn’t help but smile as he listened to her trying to sing “Let It Go”. 

“Yeah, I’ll start on your books. I know you want them by author and alphabetically, so don’t worry.” Cas said. “And go take your meds before you forget.”

Dean grumbled under his breath as he went upstairs to do just that. Once he had swallowed the pill he headed out to the garage to start sorting through the zillion boxes they had stacked up. Thanks to his own OCD the boxes were clearly labeled and stacked according to the room in which they belonged. He found the ones marked kitchen and began carrying them inside, one at a time. 

It took him the better part of the morning to find a place for all of the stuff they had brought. He realized that some things would have to go. They had two sets of pots and pans thanks to Cas bringing the ones he’d had at his old apartment, and three crock pots as well as two toasters, two microwaves, and two coffee pots.

“Babe, I’m going to box some of this stuff back up and put it back out in the garage, but in the spring I think we need to do a yard sale.” He said as he put back one of the crock pots.

“We don’t have enough cabinet space?” Cas asked, pausing in putting a book on the shelf. Dean had left behind the ones he’d made and they had bought brand new ones stained in a dark cherry that almost looked black in certain lighting. 

“No, we have too much stuff. We do not need two microwaves and three crock pots.” Dean laughed.

“You should see if Sam and Jess need anything before we go selling stuff.” Cas told him. He was right.

“I’ll ask Jess when she stops by later.” 

By the time Jess arrived Dean was done unpacking in the kitchen. Everything was perfectly organized and he was quite pleased that he’d found space for everything they planned to actually keep.

“So, how’s Gracie feeling?” Jess asked as Dean let her in the house.

“Much better. Fever broke sometime early this morning. She has a runny nose and her cheeks are still red, but she’s feeling pretty good.” He replied.

“Kids are pretty resilient like that. Even when they feel awful they still want to play and be happy. They never cease to amaze me.” 

When they walked in the living room she looked around, nodding. Cas had managed to get all the books on the shelves and had hung up the pictures they had been enlarging of Gracie.

“The room feels smaller with all the books in here.” Dean frowned.   
“I was thinking the same thing.” Jess said.

“Well I’m not taking them all back down after I just put them all on the shelves!” Cas cried.

“No, I’ll figure something out.” Dean said.

“Make the spare bedroom into a library too. Or maybe at some point you guys can add on. You have a huge attic.” Jess pointed out.

“Maybe.” Dean wasn’t sure yet what he wanted to do.

“You don’t have to move every book upstairs. Maybe we’ll put a bookcase in our room, two in the guest room, and leave two down here?” Cas asked.

“I’ll think about it.” That was about all Dean would commit to until he thought it through.

“Jess!” Gracie cried as she came running in from the sun porch.

“Hi munchkin!” Jess knelt down to catch the little girl as she ran to her and leapt into her arms.

“Wow, you look so much better than you did last night!”

“I made a pee-chure Jess! Is petty, wanna see?” Gracie asked.

“Of course I do.” 

Dean watched as Gracie led Jess out to the sun porch before he turned to Cas.

“So, your office is next babe. I want to get the first floor totally unpacked today if we can.”

“The boxes are already in there. I had Sam help me stack them in there, I can’t have my music or instruments getting ruined.” 

Cas started down the hall and Dean followed. Aside from the dining room and bathroom, the only other doors in this hall were for a large, walk-in pantry and the bedroom they were converting into Cas’ work space. It was large but not large enough to teach more than two or three students at a time. Dean had not been too surprised to learn that Cas had a piano in storage and it was now in the room, pressed up against the same wall as the door. The cello sat on its stand next to the piano. Various other instrument cases laid about as well as boxes filled with all the stuff from Cas’ apartment.

“Where do you want to start?” Dean asked. They had invested in another bookcase for in here and Cas opened a box of his sheet music and began organizing everything on the shelves. Dean opened boxes that contained pictures and began hanging them up. They were the ones he had admired when he had first visited Cas’ apartment. He took his time to examine each one as he found a spot for it on the walls.

“We need chairs for in here.” Cas said once he had the bookcase filled. He turned around to see what Dean was doing, smiling when he saw how careful he was being with each picture.

“The posters you had in your room, they’re in here too. Where do you want those?” Dean asked.

“Spare bedroom. Or…our room, if you want.” Cas shrugged. Dean pulled them out from behind a stack of boxes. He had seen them a few times but hadn’t gotten to really admire them.

“I actually think these are really cool to hang in the upstairs hall. What do you think?” He looked up at Cas who nodded.

“Yeah, not a bad idea.”

“If we can get the basement finished and turned into a real studio for you we can hang some of them down there too.” Dean suggested.

“I thought we were doing a man cave down there?” Cas grinned.

“Babe, we’re men. Living together. We own the house. The entire place is our man cave.” Dean laughed.

They unpacked several more boxes until they ran out of space to put stuff. The rest of the boxes were put in the closet along with the smaller instruments that still rested inside their cases. Dean made a mental note to invest in shelves for the walls so the instruments could be on display, and so Cas could have easy access to them for practice and teaching. The room still looked pretty empty without furniture but it looked nice.

“How’s the unpacking coming along?” Jess asked from the doorway.

“Not bad. We need some chairs in here, and maybe another bookcase, but we got most of it unpacked.” Dean replied.

“What dis?” Gracie came walking in, heading straight for the piano.

“That’s a piano, princess. You want papa to show you how I play it?” Cas asked as he crossed the room and pulled the bench out. Gracie nodded and as he sat down she scrambled up onto the seat next to him. 

“Now just watch and I’ll show you, ok?” Cas asked her. She nodded and placed her hands on her little legs as he had taught her to do after she tried to touch his cello while he was playing it not long after she’d come to live with them. She’d ended up cutting her finger and it was a lesson learned the hard way for both of them. Now she listened and if he said don’t touch, she didn’t. He lifted the cover, revealing the white and black keys.

“Want papa to play you a song from Frozen?” Dean asked. Gracie’s little mouth formed an O as her eyes got wide.

“Oh, peeze papa! Let Go!” She clapped her hands and smiled so wide every tooth in her mouth was showing. He just laughed and nodded.

‘Ok, ok. Hands in your lap now and listen.” 

Dean stood behind them watching them together as Cas played and Gracie watched. He took a video of the scene as it unfolded and as Cas moved on to a song from The Jungle Book, another of Gracie’s favorite movies he snapped a few pictures. His heart was close to bursting with how much love he felt in that moment watching the two people he loved most in the world bonding. 

“Come here, I’ll show you how to play. You want to play with papa?” Cas asked as he lifted Gracie up and sat her in his lap. She nodded and slowly, one key at a time he showed her how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Dean moved closer, taking more pictures of them. Cas smiled up at him a few times.

“I want to see those later.” He said.

“I’ll forward them all to you.” Dean promised.

Jess was still leaning in the doorway watching them with a soft smile on her face.

“She’s not doing half bad for only being two. She follows his instructions rather well.” She said.

“I’m impressed. I think he’ll have her playing by the time she’s at least four.” Dean couldn’t help the pride he felt in that moment.

“Looky daddy, I pay nano!” She looked up at Dean, her smile bright. He snapped a picture. That one he forwarded to Kelly and to Ellen.

“Dean?” They heard Sam coming down the hall.

“In here. Check this out.” Dean called to him. Sam appeared in the doorway, pausing to kiss Jess before he looked over at where Cas was sitting with Gracie.

“Let’s show Uncle Sam how you play Twinkle Twinkle, ok?” Cas asked his daughter. She nodded and just as slowly as the first time he walked her through playing the first verse.

“Wow, you’re so good at that!” Sam gushed and the little girl clapped and squealed in delight at the praise. She jumped down from her papa’s lap and ran over to Sam who scooped her up and planted a noisy kiss on her cheek. It warmed Dean’s heart seeing Sam fall into the role of uncle so easily, and seeing how much Gracie had come to adore his little brother.

Cas closed the lid to the piano and stood up, carefully pushing the bench back in place.

“Say, do you guys need a crock pot?” He asked.

 

Jess was excited to get the appliances the guys were offering them and she thanked them profusely for the crock pot and the almost brand new microwave as well as a set of the pots and pans. Dean was just glad to see that it was going to go to good use. Charlie showed up shortly after Sam and Jess had gone home and Dean got her to keep an eye on Gracie while he started dinner. Cas was busy breaking down empty boxes and moving them out to the garage.

“I came with wedding news.” Charlie said from her seat on one of the chairs in the living room.

“Talk to me, red.” Dean said as he popped a casserole he had made earlier in the week into the oven.

“Ok, so you left dress styles up to Jo and me, so we went yesterday and picked those out, and we did the whole mother of the…well, in this case groom, but whatever. We took Ellen, got her dress too. So, I’ll walk down the aisle with Sam, Jo will walk with Balthazar, and if we get Benny like you want, well, we need one more for Cas’ side.” She said.

“Oh.” Dean frowned as he thought. Cas was just coming back into the house and he turned to face him.

“Babe, I want Benny to stand up in the wedding.”

“Yeah, ok, I know that already. What’s the problem?” Cas asked as he removed his shoes and set them by the front door.

“I need things to be even. I’ll have Sam and you’ll have Balthazar, but I want Benny too, he’s one of my oldest friends. So we sort of need one more for your side. I can get Andrea to stand up against Benny, that’s not a problem.” Dean explained. 

Cas sat down slowly on one of the stools by the island, sighing as he thought about who he’d want.

“Meg. I’ll ask her.” He finally said.

“That’ll work. I can ask Kevin to stand up against her.” 

“It’s short notice, do you think Kevin will do it?” Cas asked.

“Do you think Meg will on such short notice?” Dean countered.

Cas snorted. “You know she will. Any moment for her to be the center of attention and show off, she will take it.” He pulled out his phone and texted his cousin. It didn’t take her long to text back.

Meg: YES!!!!!!

Cas laughed and held the phone up so Dean could see her response. He chuckled.

“I thought maybe you’d have asked your brother.” Charlie said.

“He’s officiating the-” Cas paused realizing that she was referring to Gabe. “Oh, uh, no. We’re not in a brotherly place yet, and after my childhood…I’d rather ask Meg. She’s been more of a sister to me all these years than my real sister. He’s lucky I even invited him. I invited Nancy and Liz too.”

“How many more people did you invite?” Charlie had a pen and paper out to take notes of all the names they were mentioning.

“I invited some people from work, so like twelve teachers? I handed them your invitations and told them to mail them directly to you. I am not sure many will come because it’s Christmas Eve, but a few might. Dave, the principal, I invited him too. He said he’s coming. And Cas said he invited Gabe, Nancy, and Liz, so count on two kids as well with that group. Victor we invited, Jess’ parents, her brother, and an old professor of mine from college, Chuck. Kevin was invited and he said he was coming with his mom, but if I move him to standing up instead that frees another seat at the tables.”

Charlie’s hand flew across the paper as she tried to write down everything he was saying.

 

“How about I just give you the list we already made up? We’ll just add Benny, Andrea, Meg, and Kevin to the wedding party.” Cas said.

“That would be great. I still need to order the flowers and see where I want to put everyone.” She replied.

“Mix it up. Cas’ former orchestra members will be coming, some with their spouses, and the guys from the band are coming with their wives.” Dean told her.

“I can do that.” She made a note of that.

“Hey, can you help me pick out a new suit? Dean doesn’t want me to wear my tux.” Cas asked her.

“Sure. You’d be overdressed in a tux since everyone else will be in suits and cocktail dresses.” She told him.

“I need to go soon so I can get it fitted.” 

“We can go this weekend. We’ll have Andrea with us, and Meg too if she has the time.” Charlie said. Cas nodded.

“I can do this weekend.”

“Good, cause we have a lot of stuff still to finish hashing out!”

 

As the week wore on Dean was adapting better to the new house and by Wednesday he was able to fall asleep without a sleeping pill. Cas counted that as a small victory. Gracie’s cold got a little worse before it got better but by Saturday morning she was down to just a little bit of redness in her cheeks and under her nose. Otherwise she was back to her old self. Cas decided to take Gracie with him so he could at least look at dresses for her for the wedding, and so Dean could get some more unpacking done. The fact that Dean was determined to get everything unpacked before the wedding was beginning to get on his nerves so an afternoon out of the house sounded like a delight.

Charlie picked Cas and Gracie up at ten and they drove directly to the bridal shop. Meg was waiting there, chatting with Andrea and they both turned and smiled as Cas and Charlie got out of the car. He undid Gracie’s seatbelt on her car seat and she hopped out of the car to take his hand. Meg’s face lit up at the sight of her.

“Oh you brought the little angel!” She said as she crouched down in front of Gracie.

“Hey kiddo, how’ve ya been?” She asked.

“I gonna see petty dresses wif papa.” Gracie declared.

“That’s right, you are! So am I, and so is your Auntie Charlie.” Meg said. Gracie looked up at Charlie and smiled excitedly.

“Ok, let’s go inside before she explodes from excitement.” Cas chuckled. 

Once inside a saleslady appeared and Charlie gave them the style and name of the dress she wanted while Cas took Gracie in the direction of the little girls’ dresses.

“Can I help you?” 

Cas turned to see a woman that looked vaguely familiar. Where had he seen her before? She was looking at him too, though clearly she recognized him.

“Do I know you?” He asked.

“Um, I’m Cassie, I met you a while back…at the park.” She replied. The name and the face finally clicked for him. The moment just got very awkward.

“Right, uh, hi Cassie. I’m…looking for flower girl dresses.” He nodded towards his daughter.

“I wanna be a pincess!” Gracie declared. Cassie smiled at her.

“Of course you do, and we can make that happen. Come this way.”

She led Cas down an aisle full of fluffy, white dresses for little girls. All seemed much too big for Gracie.

“How elaborate is the wedding?” Cassie asked as she slid several different styles of dresses off the rack.

“Formal but not tuxes formal. We’re wearing suits, ladies are wearing cocktail dresses.” He replied.

“Ok, that gives me an idea of how to narrow it down.” She put one dress up and set out three for him to look at. Gracie was looking up at the dresses with a skeptical expression.

“You don’t like any of these?” He asked his daughter. She shook her head. 

“Ok…” Cassie said with a small laugh and pulled out a few more for them to look at.

“Is petty papa, I’m petty like Elsa.” Gracie was tugging at Cas’ pants and pointing to a floor length white dress that had rhinestones embedded in the tulle overlay. It had a blue sash that was darn close to the color of the flowers they were ordering, and to the color Dean’s tie would be. To a little girl he supposed it did look like Elsa’s dress.

“Do you want to try that one on?” 

She nodded eagerly.

“Ok, do you have that in a 3T?” He asked.

“They sometimes run a little small so here…” Cassie pulled another of the same dress out and held them out to him.

“3T and 4T, in case the 3 doesn’t fit. Dressing rooms are right over there.” She nodded towards the doors at the back of the store.

“Thank you, we’ll be back in a few minutes.”

She watched him walking away, her professional smile slipping away, becoming more of a frown.

“Cassie?” 

She turned to see Charlie walking over.

“Charlie? Is that really you?” She cried and hugged the woman.

“God, it’s been like forever! How have you been?!” Charlie held her out at arm’s length to look at her.

“I haven’t seen you since our high school graduation. I’ve been good though. You?”

“I’ve been good. New girlfriend, she’s a lot of fun, but otherwise pretty much the same. Hey, remember Benny? See the taller lady there?” Charlie pointed at Andrea. “That’s Benny’s girlfriend.”

“I do remember Benny, big guy, Cajun drawl, right?” Cassie asked.

“Yes, our Baton Rouge transplant.” Charlie laughed. Cassie’s smile faded a bit and she cleared her throat.

“So Dean’s really marrying another man?” She suddenly blurted, though she kept her voice low. Charlie’s eyes darkened for a moment before her normally perky personality returned.

“Yes, he is. How did you know this was for his wedding?”

“I sort of ran into him at the park not all that long ago. Saw him playing with that man and his little girl.” She nodded towards the dressing rooms.

“That man, his name is Cas, and he’s the best thing to ever happen to Dean.” Charlie said seriously.

“I didn’t know he was gay. I feel like I should have known, I went out with him for so long.” Cassie crossed her arms and glanced again towards the dressing rooms. Cas was now standing with Gracie in front of a full length mirror where she was touching the tiny rhinestones and he was checking to see how tight the fit was.

“Dean isn’t…” Charlie sighed deeply. “Dean is pansexual, it’s different.”

“He told me that, but…he likes men.” 

“He likes PEOPLE. Their gender doesn’t matter. When he looks at Cas he doesn’t seen just the man that he is, he sees the amazing person he is, and all the things they have in common, and how happy Cas makes him. It didn’t work out between you two because Dean is demisexual too. It’s very hard for him to form emotional connections with people. We were all shocked when he told us he had feelings for Cas, but what they have together…” Charlie smiled just thinking about it. 

“God I want what they have, it’s beautiful. He has tried to feel something about every person he has ever dated, but most of the time he felt absolutely nothing. I think you were one of the lucky ones that he felt something for, but I’m sorry to say it wasn’t love. Cas is the only person he has ever been in love with. I wouldn’t dwell on the past. Dean didn’t know what was wrong back then. He thought something was wrong with him, that he was broken. I did some research when we were in college and figured it out for him. Once he realized that there’s nothing wrong with him, he was able to finally get on with his life. This is the happiest he has ever been, and you should be happy for him.”

“Who should be happy for who?” Meg asked as she walked over.

“Be happy for Dean and Cas.” Charlie said. She looked at Cassie again. “This is Cas’ cousin Meg. Dean, Benny and I went to school with Cassie.”

“Nice to meet you.” Meg said with a small smile. She turned to look for Cas and her smile broadened when she saw Gracie running over, barefoot except for the sparkly dress she was wearing.

“Meg! Look! I’m a pincess!” Gracie came to a dead stop a few feet away and spun in a circle to show her how the dress fanned out.

“Wow, that’s amazing! You are a princess!” Meg exclaimed.

“Oh! I so petty! Papa! Papa!” Gracie raced back to Cas as fast as he little feet could carry her.

“Wow, she is absolutely adorable.” Cassie laughed, warmed by the little girl’s enthusiasm.

“She’s a great kid.” Charlie said. Cas was walking over with Gracie in his arms. She was babbling about the sparkles as she touched the rhinestones.

“This dress is more than we had budgeted for. If I call Dean and tell him how much it is he’s going to say no, but he’s not here seeing her like this, or hearing her.” He frowned.

“How much is it?” Meg asked as she reached under Gracie’s arm to read the price tag.

“$300.” Cas replied.

“There’s a sale too, twenty five percent off.” Cassie said. Cas calculated the discount.

“We budgeted for one fifty. Maybe there’s something less expensive…” He turned to eye the other dresses.

“Nonsense, if the princess wants this dress, I’ll buy it for her.” Meg announced. Cas whipped his head around to look at his cousin.

“What? You don’t have to do that.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “I’m never having kids of my own, and I hate the rest of the family, so that means I get to spoil your kids. So if she wants this dress, I’ll buy it for her. You worry about the crown and shoes.” 

“Cown! I wanna cown!” Gracie brought her hands up to the top of her own head and looked up at Cas with wide, green eyes that were full of excitement. He smiled and nodded before turning to Cassie.

“What do you have that looks like a princess crown?”

 

Dean was not expecting Cas to come home with Gracie’s dress and crown. When they walked through the door with it his eyebrows shot up.

“I thought we were waiting til closer to the date.” He said as he accepted the smaller bag. He peeked into it and saw that it contained a tiny rhinestone encrusted crown.

“Cas, what is this?”

“Don’t argue with me, please, I’m worn out. Gracie decided she has to look like a princess, and before you yell about the cost of the dress or crown, I only paid for the crown. Meg bought the dress. Your daughter wasn’t leaving without it.” Cas looked down at Gracie who was shrugging out of her coat.

“Imma pincess daddy.” She reached for the dress in Cas’ hands but he lifted it out of her reach.

“You can try it on and show daddy but then it has to wait in papa and daddy’s closet for…” Knowing she wouldn’t comprehend the point of a wedding, especially since she technically wasn’t the main attraction, despite the fancy dress, he racked his brain for a reason she had to wait to wear the dress. “Princess day.”

Gracie frowned up at him. Clearly she didn’t believe him. “Pincess day?”

“On Princess day I’m going to give you flowers and you get to show everyone your dress and your crown and everyone will say ‘Oh, how pretty Gracie is!’, but we can’t let the dress get dirty or they won’t think it’s pretty.” Cas explained. Gracie looked up at Dean for confirmation and he nodded.

“Papa’s right, we can’t let the pretty princess dress get dirty.”

“But let’s show daddy how pretty you are in it, ok?” Cas asked. Gracie smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

Cas helped her out of her shoes and she quickly tore off the rest of her clothes. He slid the dress over her head and zipped it up. Dean had to admit, the dress was gorgeous.

“Daddy, my cown!” She patted the top of her head and he chuckled as he removed the crown from the bag and set it on her head. He took a step back, smiling.

“You’re a princess! Can I take a couple of pictures to sent to grandma, Uncle Sam and Auntie Kelly?”

“Yes!” Gracie cried as she spun around in a circle. Dean pulled out his camera and took more than just a few pictures. He couldn’t help it. Cas had his camera out too and was snapping pictures as well.

“She looks beautiful, who picked this out?” Dean asked as Cas helped her back out of the dress.

“She did. She spotted the rhinestones and that was it, she had had to have it.” Cas said with a laugh.

“Oh God, we’re creating a diva.” Dean groaned. He accepted the dress and slipped it back into the garment bag it had come in while Cas helped Gracie get dressed again.

‘You’re just figuring that out?” Cas asked.

“No, I guess not. Hey, how much was the dress anyway?”

Cas shook his head as he watched Gracie run for the sun porch.

“You don’t want to know. It was way out of our budget range but Meg couldn’t resist those big green eyes either.” 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. Their kid was so spoiled.

“I made lunch if you’re hungry.” 

Dean said as he headed for the stairs. He wanted to get the dress hung up before Gracie got to it again. When he returned to the kitchen he found Cas and Gracie sitting at the kitchen table enjoying the tomato soup he had made. They were dipping French bread into it and Cas was nodding as he listened to Gracie babble about princesses. It always made Dean smile seeing what a wonderful father Cas was to their daughter. How the man could stand to listen to hours upon hours of talk about princesses and sit through all of the princess movies like he did was incredible. Dean tuned out after a few minutes, his mind on princess overload and beginning to shut down five minutes into Frozen or Cinderella. Cas on the other hand had every song memorized and at night, as they tucked their daughter into bed he would hum them, or sing softly until she fell asleep. Dean realized he couldn’t have chosen a better partner even if he’d tried. He was eager for Cas to take his name and complete the adoption process. The wedding couldn’t come soon enough.

Cas looked up when he realized Dean was staring and smiled. Dean smiled back, finally moving forward to the table. He kissed the top of Gracie’s head before leaning down to kiss Cas’ temple.

“You ok?” Cas asked. 

“I’m perfect.” Dean assured him. “Absolutely perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all got a kick out of this chapter. The wedding is almost here. Not sure how many more chapters I'll be adding to this one. Maybe an epilogue after the wedding? Not quite sure. I have a couple more things planned before this story is over...


	27. Thanksgiving Winchester Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving has arrived and it is completely different from the way the Novaks ever did the holiday. Cas quickly learns that he loves the way the Winchesters do things, and for the first time in his life he actually feels like he's part of a family.
> 
> Cas also has a heart to heart with his brother Gabe and clears the air a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo.....yes, the wedding is almost here, but not....quite.....
> 
> Unless y'all WANT this fic over. Didn't think so, lol!
> 
> So, that being said, I did the thing. I signed up for Gishwhes!!!!!! Now I need team members! Right now it's just my daughter and me. I need 13 more people. Anyone want to join my team? If so, let me know now....

Thanksgiving came finally. Cas had decided that it should be held at their house since they had the space to accommodate everyone they had invited. He dragged Dean out shopping for a table and chairs for the dining room and it didn’t take them long to find one they could agree on. Furniture style wasn’t as important to Cas as it was to Dean so he just nodded along as Dean talked about the type of wood and the style of the chairs. The table was delivered a week before Thanksgiving and Cas watched as Dean went so far as to buy slipcovers for the seats.

“What exactly are those for?” 

“They’re Scotchguarded. Anything that falls on them won’t stain.” Dean explained.

“Okkk….” Cas just shook his head and walked away. 

They invested in a couch too, a huge piece of furniture that actually came in three pieces, and had a lounge attached. Dean relocated all but two of the bookcases to make room for it and they were both pleased with how nice it looked in the space they’d allotted for it. On almost a daily basis one of them had to stop Gracie from jumping on it. When she wasn’t jumping, she was lying across the middle, either watching a movie or playing with her toys. 

There was more family than Cas had ever had the privilege of being around sitting at their dining room table, at their kitchen table, and in the living room. They had invited all of Dean’s surrogate family which included Ellen, Bobby, Jo, and Charlie but since he wanted his brother and Jess there as well, he invited Jess’ parents and brother too. Cas invited Gabe and Robby as well as Balthazar who’s family was back in England still, and his fiancé. At the last moment Nancy, Liz, and Maya were added to the guest list. 

Dean spent all of the day before preparing two turkeys, of which Cas cooked the smaller one in the crock pot, and Ellen arrived at dawn to help on the morning of with the rest of the preparations. Cas got in the kitchen and helped too, ignoring Dean’s complaints and attempts to control everything. Eventually he gave in, showing Cas how to prepare homemade stuffing and how to make pumpkin pie. Ellen was gentler and she taught him how to prepare a ham and how to make gravy. Sam brought more potato salad (Dean had concluded that this was his brother’s go to dish), and Jess brought cranberries and a Jello mold. 

When Gabe arrived he came with two homemade pecan pies (he was quite possibly still trying to work himself into Dean’s good favor), homemade chocolate chip cookies, and four loves of French bread. There was more food than what fit on the island and kitchen counters and Dean began putting it out on the dining room table and the kitchen table for lack of anywhere else to put it.

The meal itself was a wonderful experience for Cas, but also for Gabe. Growing up their parents hadn’t celebrated Thanksgiving in the traditional sense. Their mother would insist that all of her children be there for dinner at which point she would serve turkey, potatoes, green beans, and pie. The meal never varied, and no one was allowed to bring other dishes. The conversation was subdued and almost always focused on religion and the bible. Cas had hated every minute of it. Now everyone talked openly, discussing a myriad of topics. Bobby was in conversation with Dean about an engine he had just rebuilt while Ellen, Jess, and Nancy discussed wedding details. Charlie and Jo were discussing some convention they were making plans to attend together. Liz and Gabe were discussing a cookie recipe and Sam was engrossed in a conversation with Robby about what to expect on the coming Constitution test he had to take. Even Maya and Gracie were talking with each other. Gracie clearly looked up to the older girl and was trying to emulate her as they ate their food. Cas looked around the table and realized that at no point in his life had he ever felt as much at home as he did now, with these people around him. He was sitting quietly, staring down at his food as he listened to the people around him. It caught him a bit off guard when Dean’s fingers found their way into his own and squeezed lightly.

“Are you ok?” Dean was studying his face, a look of concern on his face. Cas smiled and lifted their hands so he could kiss Dean’s.

“I’m good.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” Bobby asked him.

“I was just remembering what Thanksgiving used to be like in the Novak house. It was nothing as wonderful as this. This…it feels like family. It’s an amazing feeling. Dinner with my family was cold, predictable, and the only agreeable topic for the dinner table were discussions about scriptures, and only as long as they were something my father agreed with. I would just sit there, lost in my own little world, terrified to open my mouth and say anything and risk his wrath.”

Cas looked around the table, the smile on his lips growing wider. “This is what I always wanted. To be accepted and loved, and to enjoy family meals. I can’t remember the last time I actually celebrated Thanksgiving. Christmas was usually just me and Meg.”

“Where is Meg anyway?” Dean asked.

“She’s been dating this guy, Paul I think his name is, and he invited her home to meet his family.” Cas replied.” 

“Good for her. Is she bringing him to the wedding?”

“I think she is.” Cas said.

The cleanup afterward was also a lot easier than he’d anticipated. He hadn’t looked forward to cleaning up after so many people but everyone helped with clearing the table while Charlie and Jess took Gracie and Maya to the living room to put a movie on for them and get them out from underfoot. Ellen, Jo, and Sam worked on rinsing the dishes and loading them into the dishwasher while everyone else worked on doling out the leftovers and covering them. Desserts were set out on the kitchen table for people to come and get at will, and even the clean up on that was minimal. At eight Gracie began getting cranky and he took her up to get her ready for bed. They had converted her crib into a twin bed after she had proved several times that she could escape the crib, and once she was in her nightgown with her teeth brushed and a clean pull up on he tucked her into bed. She yawned as he smoothed back a lock of hair from her forehead, and he hummed softly the main song from Beauty and the Beast. When her eyes finally drifted shut and her movements ceased he leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. He lingered for a few minutes, just watching her sleep. She looked so angelic as she slept. He could see bits of her mother in her, but mostly he saw Dean when he looked at her. She had long, blonde lashes that touched her cheeks as she slept, and full lips parted slightly. Her cheeks were rosy and full. She was the most beautiful child he had ever laid eyes on.

“You know, you’re a great dad.”

Cas turned around to see his brother leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, watching him.

“Better than Martin.”

Gabe frowned. “He’s not a father, he’s a dictator. Don’t use parental terms with that man.”

Cas turned back to his daughter. One more soft kiss to her forehead and he left her to her rest. He stood up and motioned for Gabe to step into the hall. Once they were both out of the bedroom he closed the door.

“You’re a natural, you know.” Gabe said softly. Cas was appreciative of his brother keeping his voice down. He didn’t want to have to put Gracie down a second time.

“I sometimes surprise myself how easily it comes to me. I sure as hell didn’t have a good role model growing up.”

“Are you teaching her prayer at all? I noticed we did grace at dinner, but Dean seemed a little lost with leading it.” Gabe said as they made their way to the stairs.

“I…am, to a point. I’m not going to shove it down her throat like it was done to me growing up. We pray at meals and sometimes at night I tell her some of the bible stories. Dean doesn’t exactly share the same beliefs, he had a different yet equally cruel upbringing, and the fact that he even allows the bible in our home at all, or allows me to pray and talk about it is a miracle in itself.” Cas said. Gabe paused no the stairs and frowned at him.

“What do you mean ‘allows you’? If you’re raising Gracie together then you have every right to teacher her your beliefs.”

Cas shook his head. “You misunderstand me. While we grew up with God and the bible being shoved down our throats, Dean grew up thinking God had abandoned him. His mother was taken from him in a house fire when he was only four. He and his brother were left with a father that basically told them God didn’t give a shit about them, and proved it every single day in the form of beatings, no real roof over their heads, his alcoholism, and a whole host of other issues that I won’t even get into. It left both boys feeling unloved and abandoned, by their mother in her death, by God for leaving them with a man like John Winchester, and then by John abandoning them too. They couldn’t lose their faith, it was never there in the first place for them to lose. I like to think that I’ve proven to Dean that God has not abandoned him, just given him a series of lessons he needed to learn in order to reach the place he is in now. If God had abandoned him, he wouldn’t have led Dean to me, or brought Gracie to us. He struggles with accepting that he truly is blessed, but…I think he is coming around. He believes in God, and is just beginning to accept that he is not the cruel God Dean always thought he was.”

They had just reached the first floor and Cas led his brother to his office.

“This is…wow. You still play? All of them?” Gabe asked, looking around.

“Yes. And I’m teaching Gracie how to play the piano. It won’t be an overnight success, but she’s receptive, so that’s a start.” Cas replied.

They had moved the arm chairs from the living room in here and were planning to buy new chairs for the living room later, so he motioned for his brother to have a seat. He sat down in the other chair.

“Play something. I haven’t heard you play since about a week before I left home.” Gabe said.

“What instrument?” Cas asked.

Gabe looked around, spotting the cello first, but his eyes fell on the piano. “The piano. Chopin, or Mozart. Or you know, whatever.”

Cas moved to the piano bench, pulling it out and lifting the lid. He stretched his fingers out as he decided on what he wanted to play. Though the song was merely a shadow at the back of his memory his hands remembered the keys and began to tap out a tune that made Gabe gasp.

“Cas…”

Cas closed his eyes, blocking everything out as his fingers swept across the keys. Amazing Grace filled the space between them. He missed the sound of the door opening but when a small hand touched his thigh he opened his eyes and looked down to see that Gracie had come in the room. She had climbed up onto the bench next to him as she so often did nowadays. When she had his attention she settled her hands in her lap and watched as his fingers flew across the keys. As he looked at her he began to sing:

_Amazing grace! how sweet the sound,_  
That saved a wretch; like me!  
I once was lost, but now am found,  
Was blind, but now I see. 

_’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,_  
And grace my fears relieved;  
How precious did that grace appear  
The hour I first believed! 

_The Lord hath promised good to me,_  
His word my hope secures;  
He will my shield and portion be  
As long as life endures. 

_When we’ve been there ten thousand years,_  
Bright shining as the sun,  
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise  
Than when we first begun. 

He smiled as Gracie looked up at him, recognizing her name in the song, and she smiled back. When the song ended she clapped.

“Papa! Is Gracie song! Is petty!”

He smiled a little brighter and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. Once upon a time this song had brought him nothing but pain. It had reminded him of the hell he had endured as a member of the Novak household. Now though…now he was joining the Winchester family, and he had the most beautiful, innocent little girl that was hearing the song for the first time, and she knew none of the hell he had been through. To her it was a pretty song with her name tucked inside of it. Through the eyes of his child he saw the song in a completely new way.

“That was good babe. You can really rock, but there’s something wonderful in hearing you sing gospel.” Dean said from the doorway. Cas looked up at him and smiled.

“I guess for a moment I went back to my roots.”

“Is Gracie song, daddy. Is for me.” Gracie smiled so wide her eyes crinkled and he saw all of her teeth. It reminded him of the smiles Cas gave when he was happiest.

“Did papa sing that for you?” Dean asked her. She nodded.

“Is for me.”

Cas laughed and hugged his baby girl. “Yes princess, that song will, from now on be just for you.”

“That was awesome baby brother.” Gabe’s voice was thick and when Cas turned to look at him he could see the tears in his eyes. Cas looked at Gracie again.

“Do you want to show your Uncle Gabe how you can play Twinkle Twinkle?”

“Yes peez!” She was already climbing into his lap. Dean moved over to the bench this time and sat down with them.

“You pay too daddy?” She asked.

“Daddy can play a little. I’m not as good as papa, but I know how to play Twinkle Twinkle.” He replied.

“Ok!” She declared. 

Cas had been working for weeks with her on how to play the song and she was quickly memorizing the right keys. He smiled when he realized he didn’t have to point out the next one each time, she was remembering all on her own. She glanced over at her father who was joining her in playing, a smile on both of their faces. He smiled brightly when he realized they had an audience. Everyone was standing in the doorway or just inside the room watching them.

“Can I play?” Maya asked.

“Sure.” Cas told her. Dean got up and lifted Maya to place her on the seat next to Cas.

“Is my papa.” Gracie announced, giving Maya a dirty look.

“Gracie, that’s not nice. She’s not going to take your papa away. She just wants to play music too. Can you teach her how to play Twinkle Twinkle?” Dean asked. Gracie eyed Maya a second longer before turning her attention to the keys again. She began to slowly tap out the song. Maya got up on her knees to get a better look. Cas let Gracie play through the second time before he began showing Maya how to play.

“That’s wonderful. We may have to move back here so she can learn.” Liz said as she watched her daughter learn how to play.

“Send her by whenever you’re in town.” Dean told her.

“Cas has a real gift darlin. He’s going to make an amazing teacher.” Ellen leaned her head against Dean’s shoulder and he shifted her head to his chest as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

“He already is an amazing teacher. He works every day with her on her speech, on her manners, and she’s almost potty trained. No more diapers, just pull ups. Now he’s teaching her how to play piano. God, I love him so much.” His voice caught and his lower lip trembled. Ellen put an arm around his waist and hugged him.

“I know you do sugar. You’ve been truly blessed.” She told him.

“I think you’re right.” He agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... let me know if you want on my Gishwhes team. I'm so syked to be able to do it this year. It was a splurge, and probably the only one I'll make tihs month, but I need some fun in my life (besides writing, lol). 
> 
> I hope you all liked this chapter. I had a tear in my eye as I wrote it. So many FEELS. Leave me a comment, I love you guys and you all should know by now that I'll respond to them!


	28. The Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a conversation with one of his classes as the rumor mill is churning big time. A few days before the wedding Bobby stops by with a gift from himself and Ellen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on my way out for the evening but I wanted to make sure you all had your daily dose of Destiel fluff. I hope you like this chapter!

**December 18th** \- Last Day Before Winter Break

“As you guys all know, I will not be here your first week back from break. Your substitute though has all of my notes and the coursework and I expect you all to keep up. This is advanced placement English and I expect you all to continue to strive to do your best.” Dean said to his class. A boy at the back raised his hand.

“Yes Tyler?”

“Is it true? I heard a rumor that you’ll be on your honeymoon. Are you getting married over Christmas break?” The boy asked. Dean couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes, that is correct Tyler, we’re getting married Christmas Eve.”

The murmuring amongst the students that suddenly sprang up was no surprise.

“What’s her name?” A girl asked.

“Can we see your fiancé?” Another girl asked.

Dean’s smile faltered.

“I heard he’s marrying a man.” A boy said, not bothering to whisper. Heads whipped around to look at Dean. No one looked upset or disgusted. It was actually a mixture of curiosity and excitement that he saw on their faces.

“Is that true Mr. Winchester? Are you marrying a man?” A girl named Evelyn asked.

They were going to find out one way or another. He ran into students all over town all the time.

“Yes. That is correct.”

The murmuring exploded into excited babbling.

“I think I saw you with him. Is he like really tall with long brown hair?” Another girl asked. Dean laughed.

“No! That’s my little brother! I am a few inches taller than my fiancé.”

“What does he look like?” Tyler was asking.

Dean chuckled. He was leaning against the front of his desk talking to his class but he walked around to open the top drawer and pull out the picture he kept there. It was one Ellen had taken of him and Cas on Thanksgiving. It was one of his favorite pictures. They were sitting at the table and Cas had thrown his arm around his shoulder and leaned into him the moment Ellen had told them to smile. Cas had whispered ‘I love you’ a second before Ellen snapped the picture and Dean had smiled at him instead of the camera. Cas was smiling wide though, right at the camera. Dean had the picture cropped to enlarge them and a copy hung on the wall at home too. He handed it to the nearest student who eagerly took it.

“Wow, he’s hot!” A girl gasped, and suddenly all the girls were giggling. Dean just shook his head and sipped from his coffee mug.

“Where are you going on your honeymoon?” Another girl asked.

“Uh, we wanted someplace warm so we’re going to the Bahamas.” He replied. The small talk didn’t bother him. This was the last day before winter break and the kids were too burned out to focus on anything he wanted to teach them. They had their homework assignment and that was good enough for him.

“I’ve been to the Bahamas, it’s nice there. Expensive but nice. Don’t let the monkeys steal your drinks.” A boy piped up.

“Monkeys?” Dean asked. There were monkeys?

“They’re cool, they’re just alcoholics.” 

Dean snorted. Alcoholic monkeys. He had to tell Cas about that one.

“Congratulations Mr. Winchester.” Someone said.

Other students began to congratulate him as well. Everyone seemed genuinely happy for him. The picture made its way back to him and he tucked it back in the drawer.

“Who’s taking whose name?” A girl asked.

“He’s taking mine.” Dean replied.

“Who proposed?”

“He did.” 

“Was it romantic?” A girl asked, her tone dreamy.

“Uh, not as romantic as he wanted it to be, but he made it up to me later.” He certainly was NOT repeating the proposal story to a bunch of kids!

“He looks hardcore. His piercings are cool.” A boy with more piercings in his face than Cas said.

“He’s a big old softy, but don’t ever let him know I told you that.” Dean grinned. His students laughed. 

“All joking aside, the other teachers here all know, as well as the school board and Mr. Douglas, but being that this is not a progressive state. If you choose to discuss this topic with your parents be aware that they may not be alright with you having me for a teacher any longer, and you may be removed from my class. So, use discretion. You could end up causing problems not only for my family, and I do have a child, but also for the school and yourselves. I like to think you kids are highly intelligent and the vast majority of you are open minded, but unfortunately many in my generation still are not. I appreciate you all being happy for my fiancé and I, but I would prefer that our wedding not be the hottest topic in school.”

The class laughed again.

“We got your back Mr. W.” A boy said.

“My moms would totally be cool with you marrying a dude.” A boy name Ernesto piped up.

“My dad is bisexual.” A girl said.

“So is mine!” Another girl exclaimed.

There had been no rules by any member of the school board saying that Dean had to hide his relationship, and if there had been he would have packed up his family and left. But parents, especially the bible thumping ones in this area, they could make things difficult for him. So far it had been smooth sailings, but it might not always be. It was something he was just going to have to deal with when and if the issue ever arose. For now though he wasn’t going to let it spoil his upcoming wedding. Nothing was going to ruin his current mood, he wouldn’t let it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**December 21st**

“I have it!” Cas walked in the front door waving a manila envelope Monday afternoon. He had just come home from one last suit fitting and running various errands. He heard the heavy footsteps as Dean came flying down the stairs.

“Yeah? Let me see!” He reached for it and Cas happily handed it over. 

“Wow, I can’t wait to get this signed and framed.” Dean was grinning so wide his cheeks were aching from the effort, but he couldn’t stop. This was their marriage license, the legal bond that would tie them together for the rest of their lives. It wasn’t as if they needed to make it legal. They were in love and committed to one another no matter what, but this would make Cas officially a Winchester, and tie him permanently to the family. Dean pulled Cas against him and kissed him.

“Four days, baby. Four more days and we are officially married!”

“I can’t wait.” Cas put his arms around Dean’s neck and pulled him down into another kiss. 

“Store that somewhere safe so we don’t lose it.” He told Dean when he finally was able to tear his lips away. Kissing the man he was about to marry was something he could stand around doing forever, but there was stuff they still needed to get done.

“I’m on it. I’ll put it with the rings.” Dean told him.

“Where’s Gracie?” Cas asked.

“Listen.” Dean nodded towards the hall. Faintly they could hear the piano being played.

“Oh, you didn’t leave her in there unsupervised, did you? She’ll get into everything!” Cas moved to go get his daughter but Dean stopped him.

“Of course not. I know how she is. She’s in there with Bobby. She’s showing her grandpa that she can play Mary Had a Little Lamb. Well, she THINKS she’s playing that. She gets about three notes in and accidentally switches to Twinkle Twinkle.” Dean chuckled. Cas laughed at that. Dean was right. As they had hoped, Gracie had a natural ear for music and Cas was finding it rather easy to teach her to play, but she got the songs confused, and then she got upset. The music had stopped and they could hear Bobby talking calmly to the little girl. Then the music started up again, slowly.

“She’ll be able to play Mozart and Beethoven in no time, I’m sure.” Dean assured him. Cas nodded. 

“Yeah, there’s no hurry. I mean, I didn’t tackle Beethoven til I was four.” 

Dean cocked an eyebrow at that. “You were a prodigy babe. I’m not exactly sure Gracie is, but she definitely has a gift.”

“We’ll see.” Was all Cas said as he made his way to the music room as he had come to refer to his space. Bobby looked up when he saw him and gave a short nod.

Cas leaned against the door frame and watched as Gracie tapped out the little nursery rhyme one note at a time. When she missed a note Bobby backed her up and showed her which one she had missed. The grumpy old man had infinite patience when it came to this little girl and Cas was endlessly impressed.

“I didn’t know you play.” Cas said to him.

“My mother insisted on lessons when I was a kid. I don’t play very often though.” Bobby replied.

“Is she playing it any better?” Cas asked.

“This is the longest she’s gotten without switching songs on accident.” 

Cas nodded and smiled at his daughter. She was in such deep concentration with her little tongue trapped between her teeth and her brow furrowed as she struggled to remember what the next key was for the song.

“When you planning to get her under the hood of a car?” He asked. Bobby snorted.

“Maybe next summer. Start her off with learning the different tools, then show her a few little things. If she doesn’t lose interest she’ll know how to completely repair a car before she is actually legally old enough to drive one.”

“How old were Dean and Sam when they learned how to work on cars?

“John had then under the hood by the time they could walk. Dean could change an oil by the time he was six, course he needed help, but he knew how it had to be done. Always thought he’d come work with me, but I’m mighty proud he chose to teach. Kids out there, they need teachers like him.”

There was pride in Bobby’s voice and Cas liked hearing it. In moments when Dean doubted himself he only had to remind the man of people like Bobby and Ellen that believed in him and knew he was a good man.

“Papa, I hungy.” Gracie climbed down from Bobby’s lap and walked over to him.

“Well, go ask daddy if he made lunch yet. I bet he did.” He told her. She ran from the room.

“Daddy!”

Cas laughed and shook his head. 

“That little girl has so much fire in her. Don’t ever let that burn out.” Bobby said as he stood up and stretched. 

“I don’t intend to. She’s an amazing little girl.” 

“How’s fatherhood going for you two? Everything good?” Bobby asked as they stepped into the hall and started walking slowly towards the kitchen.

“It’s great. I always wanted kids. Gracie is everything I could have hoped for. She’s a handful but I get the impression that so was Dean at her age.”

Bobby actually chuckled at that. “That’s one way of putting it. Gracie ain’t got nothing on her daddy. That boy never sat still at her age.”

“You telling tall tales about me again old man?” Dean asked when they walked into the kitchen. Bobby scowled at him but there was no heat behind it.

“Shut yer trap ya idjit.” Bobby growled. Dean grinned. It still threw Cas how they could toss insults like that back and forth as terms of affection, but it made him smile nonetheless.

“Daddy, I wanna gill cheese.” Gracie was tugging on his pant leg with one hand as she clutched a juice box in the other. Apparently she had wrangled the drink out of him first when she’d raced in here.

“Ok little lady, daddy can do that. Go with papa to wash your hands though.”

Cas took he to wash her hands leaving Dean to make the sandwiches under Bobby’s scrutiny.

“What?” He asked when he felt the old man staring at him.

“Nothing. I’m just proud of you is all. You’ve got everything Ellen and I ever wanted for you. Are you truly happy?” Bobby asked. 

Dean had just pulled the butter and cheese from the fridge and he stopped to look at him.

“This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

Bobby quirked the smallest of smiles and nodded. “That’s what I wanted to hear. I know Cas is happy, I see it on his face every time I catch him looking at you. Ya two idjits look like you belong in one of those crappy romance novels Ellen reads.” 

Dean laughed and began buttering the bread. “You staying for lunch or did you only come by to play with your granddaughter?”

“I actually came by to give you this, and to tell you that Ellen wants to steal your child overnight, to give you guys a night alone. I know you guys probably need it.” Bobby handed over an envelope with a smirk on his face. Dean got the sandwiches into the pan before he took the envelope. Cas walked in with Gracie and set her in her high chair.

“What’s that?” He asked, nodding at the envelope in Dean’s hand.

“Dunno, Bobby gave it to me.” Dean tore it open and pulled the contents out. He frowned as he realized what he was looking at. “Bobby, what…how…” Cas moved to flip the forgotten sandwiches before they burned and then peeked over Dean’s shoulder.

“What is that?” He asked. Dean handed him the papers which were a series of receipts.

“They paid for everything. We have no debts left for the wedding.” Dean replied. He was still numb with shock.

“Bobby! That was at least thirty thousand!” Cas gasped as he read over the receipts.

“Yup. And that’s thirty thousand you can sink into your daughter’s education, or into adopting another child down the road cause you know, Ellen wants more grandkids.” Bobby said, his smirk even bigger now.

“Oh, just Ellen?” Dean teased. Bobby snorted but didn’t answer.

“Bobby, this is….wow. Thank you, thank you so very, very much.” Cas shoved the papers at Dean who barely caught them and rounded the island to pull Bobby into a hug. The old man was startled at first but he finally hugged him back.

“You’re welcome. Just keep doing what you’re doing, that’s all Ellen and me want.” Bobby said when they pulled apart.

“Doing what we’re doing?” Cas asked, confused.

“Being happy.” Bobby clarified.

Cas broke out in a big, gummy grin. “We can certainly do that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While Dean finished making the sandwiches for lunch Cas went to pack a bag for Gracie. When Bobby had told him that he was taking Gracie back home with him for the night he almost did a happy dance. He loved his child with every ounce of his being but he was dying for a night alone with Dean before the honeymoon. He packed an extra outfit and her favorite stuffed animal along with her blanket. The little girl was particular about which items she had to have in order to fall asleep and he didn’t want Ellen or Bobby to have to stop back over just to get something he forgot to pack. He carried her little rolling suitcase, something Sam had gone out and purchased for her since he liked to take her overnight from time to time as well, back downstairs. Bobby was kicked back on the couch watching a football game with Dean. Gracie was even watching the game, tucked up under her grandpa’s arm. It was so cute he had to pull out his phone and snap a picture.

“What was that for?” Bobby growled when he heard the click.

“For your wife. She’s going to love seeing you and Gracie like that.” Cas nodded to where his daughter was playing with her lower lip, her eyes riveted to the television. Bobby’s expression softened as he looked down at the child.

“You grandpa’s baby girl?” He asked her. She lifted her bright green eyes up to look at Bobby.

“Yes. I love you grandpa.” 

Everyone froze with huge smiles on their faces. That was the clearest Gracie had spoken yet. Her eyes went back to the television and she leaned her head against Bobby’s chest. The man looked close to crying but neither Cas nor Dean were foolish enough to tease him about it. Cas left the suitcase by the front door and settled down onto the couch next to Dean who pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head.

“I am so going to ravage your body tonight.” Dean whispered in his ear. Cas shivered and grinned up at him.

“Oh my gorgeous, gorgeous soon to be husband, your ass is mine!”

“I can hear you two.” Bobby leveled them both with an unamused look that made them laugh.

When the game was over Dean and Cas kissed their daughter until she was collapsed in Cas' arms, a giggling mess that couldn’t even sit up straight, and they walked her out to Bobby’s truck.

“What time are you bringing her back tomorrow?” Dean asked. He wanted to know if he had time for another round with Cas before they brought her back.

“Ask yer ma later. Knowing her, not til after lunch though.” Bobby replied. Inwardly Dean fist pumped the air. Outwardly he just pursed his lips and nodded.

“That’ll work. I can get some laundry done before she’s back. Maybe get her Elsa sheets washed without her throwing a fit.”

Bobby chuckled. “Alright then, you fellas have a nice night. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

They watched as Bobby backed the truck out of the driveway. Across the street they spotted Sam taking out his trash and waved. Sam waved back before heading back into his house. 

“We have the entire night to ourselves. What do you want to do?” Cas turned to face Dean. There was a hint of mischief in those blue eyes that gave Dean a thrill to see.

“I want you to make it next to impossible for me to walk tomorrow.” Dean replied. Cas’ brow shot up and he gave a wicked smile.

“I think that can be arranged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you all enjoyed that. The wedding is almost here. Yay! Leave a comment and I'll get back with everyone later cause you know I love chatting with you all! Off I go to burn at a crowded street fest in 92 degree heat with a heat index of 105. I hope I don't melt!
> 
> I have sunblock, an umbrella, and I'll be dessed in a tank top and shorts so I don't overeheat. I am a glutton for punishment, I swear!


	29. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With an evening to themselves Cas wants it to be more special than just sex, so he places a call to an old friend to arrange for a romantic dinner date. They run into some old friends once they reach the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter isn't the longest because I've spent most of the evening working in the chapter with the actual wedding, even though that is still a few chapters from now. I just wanted to get a head start on it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Back inside the house Cas pulled Dean into his arms.

“What do you say we go on an actual date tonight?” He asked.

“I like that idea, we haven’t done that in a while. Anywhere in particular that you had in mind?” 

“Well, I thought about the diner, cause honestly, it feels like our place, but I want something a little nicer.” Cas said.

“Ok, so I’ll go get dressed, you check and see where you want to go?”

Cas nodded. “Once I know where I’m taking you I’ll go get dressed.”

Dean gave him a kiss and left to go get ready. Cas decided a phone call was in order. He headed to the kitchen and sat down at the table with his phone to make a call to an old friend.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Cas.”

“Cas? Oh my God, how have you been?!”

“I’ve been good Xavier, how have you been?” Cas asked.

“I’m good. Just got back from a trip to Brazil. Got plenty of sun.” Xavier replied.

“And plenty of tail too, I’m sure.” Cas laughed. Xavier laughed too.

“Perhaps I did. What has you calling handsome? It’s been what, a year since I last heard from you? There’s only one thing that ever has you calling up out of the blue.” The man’s tone was flirty and in the past it would have turned Cas on. Not anymore.

“Oh, no, no, absolutely not. I’m, uh, looking for someplace nice to take my fiancé out for dinner tonight. I know it’s kind of spur of the moment to spring on you but we only have tonight to ourselves and I want to take him someplace romantic.” He quickly explained.

“You? Engaged?” Xavier asked, surprised.

“Yes, I’m actually getting married Christmas Eve.” Cas replied.

“I am in shock, I will freely admit to that. I never expected you to settle down, but I am happy for you, my friend.” Xavier said.

“It’s not settling Xavier. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Cas glanced towards the stairs but Dean was not back yet.

“I am glad to hear that. Let me see what I can arrange and I will call you back in ten minutes.”

“Sounds good.” Cas said.

He hung up and placed a quick call to the little Italian restaurant on Main street just in case Xavier’s place fell through. It wasn’t a fancy place but it would do in a pinch. The place was not busy and told him he didn’t need a reservation. He was still counting on Xavier to come through for him.

About five years earlier he had met Xavier at one of his shows. The man had shown up with some friends and when the show was over, he’d made a point of seeking Cas out to personally tell him how much he had liked their performance. Mostly he had just wanted to get into Cas’ pants, and without that much effort, he had succeeded. 

As per usual, Cas didn’t date Xavier. They occasionally hooked up, enjoyed a night or two together, and then returned to their lives. It wasn’t that Cas hadn’t been able to find someone to warm his bed on any given night, because that had never been a problem, but Xavier was one of his lovers that had been enjoyable to be around, both in and out of the bedroom. It had been over a year ago that he had decided those hook ups were no longer what he wanted, and he had told Xavier as much. The man had been amenable and agreed, and never once had he called to ask Cas for sex. He knew he could count on Xavier to be discreet and not flaunt it in Dean’s face what he and Cas used to do together. The man was classy and discreet, two things Cas appreciated most about him.

His reason for calling Xavier in the first place was because the man owned a chain of restaurants across three states that were raved about in multiple magazines and on more than just a few cooking shows for having some of the best seafood in the country. He was a Spaniard that had brought all of the wonderful recipes from the Iberian Peninsula here to the states, and had become an immediate success. His restaurants had a romantic atmosphere and excellent food, something Cas wanted for his date with Dean tonight. 

The sound of Dean singing carried down the stairs, making him smile. He loved the sound of his fiancé’s voice. His phone rang and he quickly answered it.

“Querida, you are in luck, I have a table that I usually keep open for special guests, but tonight I have arranged for you and your love to have it. They will expect you at seven. I set the reservation under your name.” 

“Thank you Xavier, this means the world to me, you’re a good friend.” Cas told him.

“Gracias. I hope this man makes you very happy.” Xavier was smiling, Cas could hear it in his voice. 

“He makes me very happy.” 

Cas saw movement and looked up to see Dean standing by the island smiling at him.

“Ok, well, I have some things to take care of. Enjoy your evening.” Xavier said.

“Thank you again. Bye.” Cas stuck the phone in his pocket and stood up.

“I am taking you to the best restaurant in the city tonight babe.” He said excitedly.

“And where is that?” Dean asked.

“El Sabor de la Costa.” Cas replied. Dean’s eyebrows rose up at that.

“You’re kidding! That place has like a three year waiting list for reservations! How the hell did you manage that one?!”

“I called in a favor to an old friend. I’ll just have to hook him up later with tickets to the concert of his choice later on.” Cas replied with a shrug.

“I’ve always wanted to eat there. Am I dressed nice enough?” Dean looked down at his clothes worriedly. He had chosen black dress pants and a matching blazer with a deep red button down, but no tie.

“Add a tie and you’ll be fine. I’ll do the same. Reservations are at seven.” He checked the clock on the wall. It was almost six.

“I’m going to take a quick shower and get dressed.”

Cas shot up the stairs and to the master bath. He was already stripped of his clothes by the time he reached the bathroom, jumping into the shower and washing himself down quickly. When he got out he did a quick shave before heading to the closet to select his outfit. He chose a navy suit with a light blue shirt, and dressed quickly.

“Dean?” He called out.

A minute later Dean walked in the room. “Yeah?”

“What color tie?” He held up two, a deep red one and a blue and white pin stripe.

“Red.” Dean took the tie and fixed it in place for him before selecting a black silk tie to wear. He put it on and checked himself in the mirror. 

“I think we look good.” He said approvingly.

“I agree.” Cas ran fingers through his damp hair, giving up after a moment.

“Let’s go.” He took Dean by the hand.

“I’m ready when you are babe.” Dean smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The restaurant turned out to be everything Dean had heard it was in regards to popularity and ambiance. To their surprise they ran into a couple of very familiar faces as they were being led to their seats.

“Dean!”

He turned his head to see Jessica and Eric at a table near where they were being seated. She was already on her feet and walking towards them. He gave her a hug before following her to her table and shaking hands with Eric.

“Hey, how are you guys?” He asked.

“We’re doing quite well. How are you and Cas?” She asked as she sat back down.

“We’re great. You got the invite to the wedding, right?” Dean asked.

She nodded. “We did, that’s why we’re here in town.” 

“That’s awesome. My best friend is handling the invitation correspondences and she hasn’t really told us who is or isn’t coming. I’m so glad you could make it though. I look forward to you meeting Gracie. Did you bring your kids?”

“We did. They’re at the hotel with my mother. How’s Gracie?” Jessica asked.

Since first meeting Jessica, she had Dean had been texting and calling one another regularly, discussing everything from the kids to football, to music, to cooking, and everything in between. It had amazed him in the beginning just how well they had hit it off, but she was as likeable a person a people always told him he was. 

“She’s doing great. Cas has been teaching her how to play the piano and she has mostly learned how to play Twinkle Twinkle. I’ll send you a video, it’s the cutest thing ever.” He couldn’t help but gush over his daughter. He replied.

“Oh, I want to see that! She’s how old now?” She asked.

“Two and a half. She’s potty trained too, only wears pull ups to bed in case of accidents, and her speech is getting so much better.” 

“I love the pictures you send. We still have to get together for that barbecue.” She said with a smile.

“Yeah, we didn’t close on the house until it was too cold out for one, but in the spring I will call you.” He promised. She nodded and patted his hand.

“That’s wonderful. You enjoy your date night.” 

“I plan to, Gracie’s with the grandparents tonight!” He smiled and winked making them both laugh. 

When Dean made it to their table he was grinning like a fool and it made Cas laugh.

“Your bestie’s in town I see. Are they here for the wedding?” Cas asked. Dean nodded.

“Yep. I can’t wait for them to meet Gracie.” 

“They’ll be smitten, everyone is.” Cas assured him. 

Dean looked out over the restaurant, taking in the décor and the full tables. The place smelled amazing. He still couldn’t believe they were eating in this place. He was wise enough to realize that the owner was probably someone Cas had some kind of romantic relationship with in the past, and that wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on. Instead he wanted to concentrate on the fact that his amazing soon to be husband wanted to take him on the most romantic dinner date possible, and he knew Dean would like this place.

“Did you order the wine already?” He asked. 

“Yes I did. I know you’re probably sick of wine and champagne after all that you drank when I was on tour, but I ordered a really good one, I promise. Much better than what they usually serve at those functions.” Cas replied. 

The waiter returned with the bottle and poured them both a glass. As Dean took a sip he made an appreciative sound and nodded.

“This is probably one of the best I’ve ever had.” Cas smiled at hearing that.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

They sat and discussed how classes had gone Friday just before break, and the assignments Dean had given his class. They discussed the homework Cas had to get finished before he went back and a few other things. It was pleasant to have a conversation without a toddler interrupting, or without waiting until they were in bed and exhausted. When their food arrived the conversation continued to flow easily, and they enjoyed the flavors and aromas, trading bites from one another’s plates and stealing the occasional kiss. When the meal was over Cas flagged the waiter down.

“I’d like the check please.” He said when the man came over.

“Oh, señor, there is no charge for your dinner this evening.” 

Cas looked over to where Jessica and Eric had been sitting. They were gone. 

“Who exactly paid for it?” He asked.

“Señor Aguirre said you were not to be charged for your meal. He told me to tell you congratulations on your coming marriage and that the meal was his wedding present to you both.” The man replied with a short bow.

“Wow, ok. I’ll call him and thank him. Thank you for taking such wonderful care of us.”

Cas pulled forty dollars from his pocket and handed it to the man who looked surprised to receive such a generous tip. He smiled and accepted the money graciously. When the waiter left Cas stood up and held a hand out to Dean.

“Ready to go home?” He asked.

“I do believe there were promises of ravaging one another, so yes, I am quite ready to go home.” Dean replied with a flirty raising of his eyebrow.

Cas grinned. “I recall you asking for me to make impossible for you to walk tomorrow. I think we should get back to the house so I can get started on that.”

“I’m holding you to that.” Dean said as they went out the car. 

Cas was counting on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Cas is capable of maintaining friendships with former lovers without anything being expected. Xavier is, at this point in time, just an old friend. He will not cause problems, so don't hate on him. He's a good guy. :)
> 
> I do hope you liked the chapter. Leave a comment, let me know what you think.


	30. Surprises Up His Sleeve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of their romantic date finds them in the bedroom.
> 
> AKA pure smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have a smutty chapter my lovely readers. It's short, but you'll enjoy it nonetheless. ;)

They barely made it up to the bedroom before Cas was all over Dean, pulling his jacket and tie off before working at the buttons on his shirt. He NEEDED to get to his skin, to feel the smooth flesh under his fingers, under his tongue, and Dean seemed to realize this. He was untucking the shirt and removing his belt as Cas got the last of his buttons undone. His mouth was licking and sucking at Dean’s neck before he even had the shirt all the way off.

“Cas, babe…bed, NOW!” Dean grabbed Cas by the waist and guided him back to the bed where he finally pulled away long enough to kick his shoes off and lay down. Cas stood for a moment staring down at him before he began to tear at his own clothing. His jacket and tie landed on the floor and he kicked his shoes off before kneeling on the bed. He crawled up, throwing a leg over Dean and straddling him. Dean started undoing the buttons on Cas’ shirt which wasn’t easy since Cas’ mouth seemed to be permanently attached to his skin.

“Let me get my shirt off!” Dean laughed, pushing Cas back so he could sit up. Cas let out a disgruntled whine but sat back. He helped Dean undo the cuffs on the shirt so he could slide it off. Dean undid the cuffs on Cas’ shirt as well before sending that one flying as well.

“God you’re gorgeous.” Dean growled as he pulled Cas against him, licking and sucking at one of his nipples. Cas moaned, throwing his head back and grinding down against him. He undid Cas’ belt and the button his pants, shoving them down before flipping the man so that he was the one lying flat on his back.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Dean asked when Cas grimaced.

“No, I’m fine. I’m thinking it’s time to remove the piercings in my back though. They’re not fun anymore.” Cas replied.

Dean was gentler after that, pausing to lick and kiss the piercings on Cas’ hips as well as the one in his belly button which drew long, sinful moans from Cas’ lips as he slid the man’s pants and socks all the way off. He mouthed just as gently at the erection straining against the thin material of his boxer briefs, smirking as long, slender fingers found their way into his hair and tugged at it.

“Dean, please…” Cas moaned. Dean looked up at him. He already looked like he was falling apart.

“What baby? What do you need?” 

Cas shifted his hips. “I want you. Inside. ME.”

Dean’s grin was wicked and it gave Cas chills.

“I can do that.” 

There was always time later for Cas to make it so he couldn’t walk. Unless they were exhausted, most nights without Gracie at home they went two, sometimes three rounds. Dean was looking forward to this.

As a general, unspoken rule in their relationship, Cas was the top. It didn’t mean that Dean didn’t occasionally do it too, but it was almost always Cas in control, and Dean preferred it that way. With all of the things in his life that he had to maintain control over, from his job to dealing with a temperamental toddler to paying bills and keeping the house in order, this was the one place where he could easily give up that control and just let Cas take over, and Cas was more than happy to. It wasn’t that Cas didn’t have a lot of his own crap that he was in control of, he just enjoyed carrying that control over into their sex life. It brought him immense joy knowing that he was bringing Dean as much pleasure as he, himself was experiencing. Once in a while though he wanted to be on the receiving end, and Dean was very, very good at giving. That was something he had learned about a month into when they had first begun sleeping together. The man knew how to give as good as he took it.

Dean slid the underwear down Cas’ hips, freeing his erection. Cas hissed at the sudden cool air that brushed across his skin but a moment later Dean’s mouth was swallowing him down and his hiss turned into a surprised gasp. 

Cas had never been on the receiving end of piercings so he didn’t know whether he would or would not like them, but with Dean he honestly didn’t think it mattered. The man was a master with his tongue and lips and within minutes he had Cas shaking and screaming his name. He tugged harder at Dean’s hair to get him to stop. Dean lifted his head, green eyes meeting lust blown blue ones.

“Babe, I’m so close.” He gasped. Dean smiled and climbed back up the bed to kiss him.

He reached into the nightstand to grab the bottle of lube they kept there. Cas’ eyes were on him, watching his every move and just to hear him make a noise he leaned back down to dart his tongue into the man’s belly button.

“Shit!” Cas gasped, and Dean chuckled. He liked messing with the man when he was the one in control and Cas never seemed to mind it. He poured some of the lube on his fingers as he nudged Cas’s legs further apart.

Dean was slow and thorough as he worked Cas open, nibbling at any skin he could get his mouth on as his fingers stretched the tight muscles and brushed against the man’s prostate. Cas’ skin was sensitive to his touch and he gasped at every nip and brush of teeth that landed on his body, and he cried out over and over as the sensations overwhelmed him.

“Please Dean, before I blow my load right here, get inside me!” Cas begged. His blunt nails were scratching Dean’s shoulders as he tried to pull the man up to him. Dean was already up to four fingers, brushing relentlessly against all of the sensitive parts both inside and out, and it was driving Cas nuts. He pulled his fingers out and moved back up to place a tender kiss to his fiancé’s lips before grabbing a pillow and propping Cas’ hips up. He moved into position and pushed in slowly.

“Dean…” Cas moaned, his head lolling back as Dean established a rhythm. It felt like pure heaven, every thrust of his hips, and with a slight shift he was hitting Cas’ prostate and suddenly those blue eyes flew open and he screamed. Dean took that as his cue to move faster, to thrust harder since he knew Cas wasn’t going to last much longer. 

“Oh God…Dean…oh….GOD!” Cas was moaning and screaming and Dean grabbed his legs, throwing them over his shoulders as he literally lifted Cas’ lower body off the bed and holding the same angle he pounded into him. Cas grabbed his own cock and began to stroke it, trying in vain to keep up with the brutal pace Dean was setting. He got a handful of strokes in before he was coming harder than he ever had before, his entire body tensing and lifting even further off the mattress. The scream he let loose with was probably heard by their neighbors but he honestly didn’t care. Impossibly, Dean began to thrust even harder as he chased his own orgasm down. When he finally came it was with a shout, and then he was gasping and collapsing onto the bed next to Cas. 

“Holy shit where did THAT come from?!” Cas was still gasping, trying hard to catch his breath. Dean managed a halfhearted chuckle but he was still breathing hard and trying to catch his own breath. Cas rolled onto his side and wrapped an arm and one leg around Dean who was lying on his stomach. He kissed one freckled shoulder as his fingers skated down the man’s back, just needing to touch and be close.

“I still have a few surprises in me.” Dean peeked up with one bright green eye and half of his wide smile visible. Cas leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth.

“You can surprise me like that any time. That was insanely good. We need to do that way more often!” 

“Mmmm, give me a chance to rest and we can go for a second round. You still have a promise to keep.” Dean reminded him.

Cas’ hand found its way to his ass and he squeezed the firm muscles there.

“I most certainly did not forget. Your ass is mine.” He murmured against Dean’s ear.

Dean turned onto his side, pulling Cas into his arms as he moved.

“It’ll always be yours baby. _I’ll_ always be yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, Dean topped. I'm sure at least a few people wanted to see that happen at least once. 
> 
> Where is everyone? Comments dropped off drastically. I love talking to you guys, it motivates me to keep writing when I know you guys like what I'm creating.
> 
> Or maybe I'm just a comment whore. Yeah, that's probably it.
> 
> Leave a comment, you know I love you guys!


	31. Panic Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas head to the mall with Sam and Jess for some last minute Christmas shopping, and they end up in a pet store. Dean can't handle his daughter crying for the dogs and the pressure from Cas and the others. He needs a few minutes to get his emotions under control, except his brother doesn't like the way he scared Cas, so he follows him and confronts him, triggering a panic attack. Dean is forced to come to terms with the fact that he can't control everything, and he had and Cas come to a compromise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be angry at Sam based on the chapter summary. He's looking out not only for his brother, but also for Cas here. For Dean this is an emotional chapter, but it'll turn out good in the end.

**December 22nd**

 

“Cas, no, not before the wedding.” Dean said firmly. He wasn’t giving in on this one. 

“I know babe, but look how cute they are!” Cas was holding Gracie and they were standing in the store with Sam and Jess, staring at the cute fluffy puppies as they tumbled and played with one another. Gracie was whining and struggling to get out of Cas’ hands. She wanted to get at the puppies but he wasn’t letting her and she was getting upset.

“We’re not buying from a pet store either.” Dean added. Cas nodded. He knew where pet store puppies came from and he had no desire to contribute to puppy mills, but they were still precious little balls of fluff and he was having fun watching them running around. 

They had come to the mall to do some last minute Christmas shopping since they were actually done with all of the wedding plans. It was two days until the actual wedding and both Cas and Dean had done very little gift shopping. Sam and Cas had been walking slightly ahead of Dean and Jess and they’d heard the little barks and yips first. They had of course gravitated towards the pet store. Dean and Jess had been helpless not to follow.

“Papa! Puppies!” Gracie was full on sobbing now and Cas felt like a terrible dad for not letting her down. He turned and carried his screaming and kicking child out of the store.

“Gracie! If you can’t be good you can’t see the puppies.” He said firmly. She stopped kicking and her screams were reduced to whimpers as she looked back over his shoulder where she could still see the rest of her family looking down at the puppies.

“Papa, I wanna see puppies!” Her lower lip jutted out and he reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes.

“Can you be a good girl?” He asked. She nodded.

“You can’t touch the puppies though, they’re tiny babies and they can get sick.” 

She frowned and tilted her head in confusion. He wanted to laugh at how she reminded him of himself in that moment.

“Puppies get sick?” He nodded.

“Yes, they can get very sick, we haven’t washed our hands. You don’t want them to get sick, do you?”

“No!” She gasped. 

“Good. So we can go back and look, and you can point to the ones you like. Later we’ll go look at more puppies that you can touch, and we’ll get to take one home, but not these puppies. These puppies can get sick.” He explained.

He walked back into the store and Dean was surprised to see how calm Gracie was. Cas lifted her higher on his hip so she could get a better look at them.

“How on earth did you avert that tantrum?” Jess asked, impressed by how quickly Cas had calmed his daughter down.

“I’ll explain that one later.” He replied.

“Dat one, papa. Dat puppy is cute!” Gracie was pointing at a Golden Retriever puppy.

“You like that puppy?” Cas pointed to the same puppy just to make sure they were seeing the same one. She nodded.

“Great, she wants a freaking mammoth of a dog. You know those things are hyper, right?” The scowl on Dean’s face was worse than usual. Cas almost wanted to give up and forget about getting a dog. He didn’t want it to be a point of contention between them.

“It’s called training Dean. Goldens happen to be one of the most intelligent breeds, and fairly easy to train. She could have pointed at a Chihuahua.” Sam pointed out.

Dean sighed. “Is that what you’re going to get?”

Sam glanced at Jess who shrugged and nodded.

“Yeah, I think we are. I like an intelligent dog.” He replied.

Dean chewed thoughtfully on his lower lip and looked at his fiancé and daughter. Cas looked upset. He leaned in and kissed his cheek.

“I’m sorry, I know you want this. I’ll get on board, I promise, but I have some stipulations before we bring another living, breathing creature into the house.”

Cas’ eyes lit up and the hope he had been losing suddenly returned.

“Sure, of course!”

“Like what?” Sam asked, curious.

“Well, for starters, I’m not bringing a puppy home that is not potty trained while we still have carpet. We haven’t pulled it up yet, so at least the first floor has to be replaced with hardwood floors. And we’re crate training. I’ve…been looking into training methods, and that seems to be the most effective. And I’m leaving it up to Cas to figure out who is going to puppy sit while he’s at school and I’m at work, cause it’s going to have to go out and go potty at least once during the day while still little.” Dean was ticking each item off on his fingers as he talked.

“And the house has to be puppy proofed. I’m not having some furball chew my walls and furniture. Oh, and I want an area of the yard designated as its bathroom. I don’t want to walk out there and step in poop.”

“Poop!” Gracie repeated, giggling. Cas snorted and bit down on his lower lip in an attempt not to laugh. Dean’s scowl deepened further. This was a serious matter to him.

“I know sweetheart, and I agree. I’m thinking of fencing off a portion of the back yard so the pup will know where to go to the bathroom, and I can enroll it in training classes. I’ll take it every week. Gracie and I both will, so she learns how to interact properly with it too.” Cas said.

“We’ll go too with our pup.” Sam added.

Dean sighed. He was outnumbered four to one and it was pointless to keep fighting it. Still, it put him in a bad mood and he could feel himself shutting down emotionally. He needed to step away and calm down, so he turned and left the store.

“Dean?” Cas was following him out of the store.

“No. Just give me ten minutes. Meet in the food court.” He said.

Cas stopped and watched Dean walk away. 

“He ok?” Sam and Jess had come to join him and he looked up worriedly at his soon to be brother in law.

“I don’t know. Do you think I pushed the subject too hard? We don’t need a dog if it’s going to ruin our marriage.” Cas held Gracie a little tighter. He couldn’t help the fear that was now niggling at the back of his mind.

“Let me talk to him.” Sam said. He went after his brother leaving Jess and Cas standing outside the pet store.

Dean was standing alone in the mall bathroom trying to calm himself down when his phone beeped. He pulled it out and saw the text from his brother.

Sam: Don’t try that ‘Leave me alone shit with me.’ Where are you?

Dean grunted and typed back a response.

Dean: Bathroom.

It was another few minutes before he heard the door open and he saw his brother’s tall frame come around the corner.

“What the hell is your problem?” Sam snapped. 

“Excuse me?” Dean stood up straight, bristling at his brother’s attitude.

“Your poor fiancé is out there freaking out thinking he’s pushed you to the point of ruining a marriage that hasn’t even taken place yet because you freaked out over a stupid dog. What the hell are you thinking Dean? Is that want you want to do? Control everything so neither Cas nor Gracie get any say in anything?”

Dean stared at his brother for a moment. “He thinks I’m mad at him?”

“Duh.” Sam replied dryly.

“I’m not mad at him. A dog…that’s a big responsibility, and I never wanted a damn dog to start with. I’ll go along with it because he wants it, but…” He wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence, he was beyond stressed out. His anxiety was increasing now that Sam had showed up yelling at him and he leaned back against the counter, closing his eyes and forcing himself to use the breathing techniques his therapist had taught him. Sam seemed to realized he had pushed too hard and he fell silent, waiting for his brother to calm down. When Dean’s breathing had returned to normal he continued in a less aggressive way.

“Look, a dog is actually a lot less difficult to take care of than a child. You didn’t think twice about taking Gracie, right? A dog will be a good friend for her as well as a loyal companion for you and Cas. It will guard your house and it can even be taught to recognize your panic attacks before you have them, so Cas or me, or whoever is closest can help. A dog will be a wonderful addition to your family, not the hindrance you assume it will be. You loved Jo’s dog when we were kids, so I don’t see what the issue even is.”

Dean sighed deeply. What was the issue anyway? Control. That’s what it really came down to. Why could he easily give up control in the bedroom but nowhere else in his life? He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his bottle of pills. He had one popped in his mouth before he remembered that Sam was standing there watching him.

“What, uh, are those?” Sam asked, trying to sound casually curious and failing. 

“Xanax. For my anxiety.” Dean replied.

“So you saw a doctor?” 

“I’m in therapy Sam. And this stays between you and me, understand? No telling Jess or anyone else. Only Cas knows.” Dean said.

“Yeah, of course man. Is that all you’re on?”

“No. I was diagnosed with severe depression and mild to moderate anxiety. I’m on an anti-depressant and I have a medicine to help me sleep, but I don’t usually need that one.” Dean replied.

Sam nodded. “But…they’re helping?”

“Yeah, they are.”

“Good. I’m glad. How are you feeling now?” Sam asked.

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. And I don’t know why I’m fighting this stupid dog issue. I like dogs just fine. I guess I’m anticipating the accidents, the chewed furniture, the grooming and vet bills, and it’s overwhelming me.”

“Well, you don’t have to get a brand new puppy. We can check into breeders and see about an older one. One that is already potty trained, and maybe partially command trained too. Would that work better for you?”

Dean thought that over for a minute. Yes, that would actually ease his mind a lot.

“I think actually that would.”

“Okay, then you need to talk that over with the man you’re about to marry rather than storming away and scaring the shit out of him. That was not fair to him.” Sam chided. Dean nodded.

“Yeah, ok. I do need to apologize to him.”

“You feeling well enough to go back?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Dean replied.

 

Cas and Jess were in the food court as planned, and though Cas had food in front of him he wasn’t eating. He was too stressed out. When he saw Sam and Dean walking over to the table he stood up and hurried over. Dean pulled him into his arms and hugged him tight.

“I’m sorry baby, I shouldn’t have left like that but I was having a panic attack.” He murmured in Cas’ ear. Cas hugged him back tight, clinging to him.

“I’m sorry I keep pushing, we don’t have to get a dog, I’m so sorry.” He sobbed.

“No, no, stop that. It’s not on you, you’re not doing anything wrong. It’s me. I keep thinking about all the things that could go wrong with a tiny puppy and it was sending my anxiety through the roof. I had a talk with Sam and he suggested that instead of a brand new pup maybe we could get an older one that is already potty trained, and has maybe already learned some commands. It would ease my anxiety a lot if I didn’t have to start right from scratch with our very first dog.”

Cas pulled back and wiped at his eyes as he nodded. “Whatever you want babe, that’s fine.”

Dean wipe a tear off the man’s cheek and kissed him softly.

“Ewww daddy, no!” Gracie made a puking noise that made them both laugh.

“I’m sorry. I won’t shut down like that again. I’ll talk to you about what’s bothering me, ok?” Dean said softly.

“Ok. Did you take a pill?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, I needed to.”

“And how are you feeling right now?” 

“Worn out, if I’m being honest. Panic attacks are exhausting. But I’ll be alright with some food and some coffee.” Dean replied.

Cas cupped Dean’s face between his hands and kissed him once more, ignoring the protests of their daughter.

“Come on, sit down, I’ll go get you something to eat.” Cas took his hand and led him to the table. Dean sat down and Cas left to go get him food.

“Are you alright?” Jess asked. Sam had gone to get food too leaving them alone at the table with Gracie who was carefully dipping her French fry in ketchup and licking it off.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He replied as he opened the little carton of milk Cas had gotten for Gracie and stuck a straw in it. He handed it to her and she immediately stuck the straw in her mouth.

“Do you really not want a dog?” Jess asked.

Dean sighed. Apparently she wasn’t going to let the subject go either.

“No, that’s not it. We’ll get the dog.” His tone told her the conversation was over and she focused instead on her salad. 

Cas returned with a burger, fries and a coke, placing the tray down in front of Dean. He settled onto the seat next to him, smiling when Dean placed a reassuring hand on his thigh. Sam joined them a few minutes later and they chatted as they ate about what stores they wanted to visit before they left. Dean relaxed further and when the meal was over he gave his drink to Cas and ordered himself a coffee as he was finding himself even more tired.

When the shopping for the day was done and they were walking back out to Sam’s truck, Sam pulled his brother aside so Jess and Cas wouldn’t hear.

“Hey, I’ll handle the research for a breeder, ok? And we won’t deal with anyone that isn’t willing to work with us on getting an older pup.” He said.

“Thanks man. Don’t rush it either. I don’t want you finding one while I’m away on my honeymoon cause we can’t do anything about it until we get back anyway.” Dean told him.

“Of course. Besides, even if I do find a reputable breeder now, there’s no rule saying we have to get their dogs right away.”

Dean smiled and patted his brother on the back. “Thanks man, for understanding.”

Sam smiled back. “What are brothers for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So though Sam technically already "knows" Dean is in therapy, now he officially knows. Leave it to Sam to act as mediator and to find a compromise Dean is comfortable with. No one is at fault here. Dean just shuts down when he gets overwhelmed, and instead of talking about his feelings, he seeks out solitude until the worst of it passes. Sam of course didn't realize this until after Dean's panic attack. He'll be gentler in the future. 
> 
> I hope you like the chapter. Leave a comment, you guys know I love getting them and responding to them.


	32. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean makes a promise to Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically a continuation of the last chapter. Dean still feels bad about how he treated Cas and wants to make it up to him.

When Dean and Cas got home that evening they dragged their numerous bags into the living room and dropped them on the couch. Gracie was overtired and whining and even Cas who generally had the patience of a saint with her was just done. 

“I’m putting the princess to bed.” He announced before heading upstairs. He hadn’t even taken his coat or shoes off and Dean was too tired to remind him to do it. He stood in front of the couch eyeing the bags. Stuff needed to be wrapped and they had only a day or so in which to do it. And he had no desire to wrap anything. 

“Fuck.” He hissed as he decided to at least organize what presents were for whom. He listened for a moment, making sure Cas wasn’t coming back down before he pulled a small bag out of his inner pocket. Ever since they’d left the pet store he’d felt like a guilty asshole for making Cas worry and cry. He never, ever wanted to see the man cry like that again. Upstairs he heard little feet running.

“Grace Deanna! Get back in this bathroom now!” Cas yelled.

Dean went to the bottom of the stairs. “You need help?”

“No, I’ll get her.” 

There was a fierce determination in Cas’ voice and Dean knew he was in no mood to coddle the naughty toddler. She’d be dressed for bed, her teeth brushed and under the covers within the next ten minutes, he was sure. He looked at the bag in his hands. It wasn’t an expensive present, but the meaning behind it was what was important. It was a promise. He returned to the living room and found the small box that he had bought just to wrap this one gift and he went about locating scissors, tape, and wrapping paper. He got the entire thing wrapped, labeled, and tucked under the tree before Cas reappeared, passing the couch on his way to hang up his coat and store his shoes, both of which he was carrying.

“What are you doing?” He asked when he saw Dean crouched down by the tree.

“Just wrapping presents.” Dean replied as he stood up and returned to the couch. Since he had started he figured he might as well finish, so he started wrapping another present, this one for Ellen. Cas sat down on the other end of the couch and started going through the already organized piles. He wanted to wrap gifts about as much as Dean did, but seeing as how this was the first year where he was wrapping gifts for more than just Michael’s family and Balthazar, he wanted to do it right and not just hand unwrapped items to people. He located another set of scissors and got to work wrapping. Two hours later they were finished. They still had presents upstairs in the closet to wrap but most of those were for Gracie. They’d picked up gifts for Robby and Maya too but Cas decided those would wait til morning.

Dean used a shopping bag to clean up the leftover bits of wrapping paper while Cas stacked the gifts neatly under the tree. He was just standing back up when Dean wrapped his arms around him from behind.

“I’m really sorry about earlier.” He pressed a tender kiss to Cas’ neck before resting his head on his shoulder. Cas brought his hands up to cover Dean’s.

“I know. It’s ok. I pushed a bit too hard. I just kind of got wrapped up in the whole owning a house and wanting what my parents never let me have growing up, and I forgot to stop and consider your feelings in the whole thing.” 

He turned around, still encircled in Dean’s arms and pressed himself closer. 

“You didn’t push that hard. I just resisted too hard. I really don’t have a problem with having a dog. I was focusing too much on everything that comes with owning one rather than on the joy that having a pet can bring. With Gracie screaming about wanting to touch the puppies earlier, and then you and Sam, and even Jess all talking about it, it just felt like I was being ganged up on, and I needed to escape it for a few minutes, to try and get my head straight. When Sam came after me he started yelling at me, and he actually triggered the panic attack, though he didn’t realize it. We had a talk and he called me out on being an ass to you. I’m still so sorry about that. It did get me thinking though, and I don’t want to be one of those controlling assholes, and I don’t want us entering into a marriage if we can’t take into account the other person’s feelings and know that a relationship is about give and take. So, that being said, I have something for you.” 

Dean stepped away, going to the tree and picking up the box he had wrapped earlier. He had intended to wait until Christmas day to give it to Cas but the more he thought about it, the more he realized he wanted this to be something private, only between them. 

“What’s this?” Cas asked as Dean placed it in his hands.

“It’s my promise to you.” 

Cas smiled as he unwrapped the box. It weighed very little and he couldn’t imagine what it could possibly contain. He tore the paper off and lifted the lid.

“Oh…Dean…” He looked up, his eyes bright with excitement.

“It’s a promise to you and Gracie. I’ll try not to drive you nuts with my OCD. In fact, I’m going to one last therapy session in the morning before we get caught up in the wedding and everything that entails, and I plan to tell her about the puppy and discuss how I feel about it. And I’ll continue talking to her when I get back. I have another session scheduled for the day after we get home. And like I said, Sam’s going to look into getting us an older puppy. One that’s potty trained and hopefully has some commands down when we go get it. I need that, for my anxiety. I know you want a cute, tiny puppy, but…” Dean sighed and looked down at the collar Cas held now in his hand.

“I get it babe. The age of the puppy doesn’t bother me. I’m not too keen on trying to scrub pee out of carpets or cleaning up piles of poop either, so it’s ok.”

Cas held up the little pink collar and smiled at it. So Dean was hoping for a girl puppy. He couldn’t help but find that adorable. More than ever he was sure that this was the man that he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. 

“What are we going to call her?” He asked.

“Well, if you let Gracie name her I’m pretty sure her name will be Elsa.” Dean said with a soft laugh. Cas laughed with him at that. He was right.

“It’s not a bad name if you think about it.” 

Dean shrugged. “The name doesn’t bother me as long as she doesn’t eat my shoes.”

“I have thought through many different scenarios and their possible outcomes. There is a bench I found in a catalog that I want to order and put by the door. Not only will it give Gracie, and us for that matter, somewhere to sit and put our shoes on, but it has storage in the seat, and I would like to store our shoes inside of it. That way there is nothing tempting for a puppy to want to chew on.” Cas put the collar back in the box and set it on the mantle.

Dean knew Cas was thoughtful and that he would do everything in his power to keep his anxiety levels low. He trusted Cas.

“We’ll discuss it later. Right now I’m tired, it’s been a long day, tomorrow we have the rehearsal dinner, and I just want to fall asleep with you in my arms.” He pulled Cas back into his arms and kissed him. 

“That sounds wonderful.” 

Cas took him by the hand and led him up to their room. If there was one thing he never wanted to do, it was to go to bed angry. Even with Dean’s occasional inability to articulate exactly how he felt, they still had excellent communication and eventually whatever issues they were encountering were discussed and resolved. As they slid under the covers he pulled Dean close, laying his head against his lover’s heart, listening to the slow and steady beat, letting it lull him to sleep. Soon he would be married to this man, and there was nothing that brought him greater joy than knowing this. As he drifted off Dean kissed his brow gently.

“I love you sweetheart.” He whispered softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you guys liked the chapter. Let me know what you think, you all know I love the comments!
> 
> Btw: Got my GISHWHES team all up to 7 members. I'm so syked and ready for this!


	33. Rehearsal Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a frantic night before the wedding where they're still trying to get things ready for Christmas Day while also preparing for the wedding. Hectic times all around!
> 
> Also, more Dean and Gracie bonding was requested, so here you go! Don't OD on the sweetness!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would personally never set my wedding for Christmas Eve, lol.

**December 23rd**

“Where’s Dean?” Ellen asked as she kicked snow off her boots and set them by the door.

“He’ll be home shortly.” Cas replied as he took her coat and hung it up for her.

“That doesn’t answer my question sweetie.” She said, leveling him with an annoyed look.

“I know, but it’s the best I can offer at this time.” 

She frowned and followed him into the living room. 

“Where’s Gracie?”

“She’s out for the afternoon with my brother Gabe and his family. I believe they went to the museum.” He replied.

“Oh, then she won’t be under foot. That’s good. How are we looking for Christmas dinner so far?”

“I have a turkey marinating, well, _Dean_ has a turkey marinating, and there is a roast that we’ll be doing an herbal rub on, but not until Christmas morning. We still have so much baking to do, and I can’t bake for shit.” Cas said with a sigh. She chuckled and squeezed his arm as she passed him and went into the kitchen.

“Well, who all will be coming to dinner on Christmas?” She asked.

He sighed as he tried to remember everyone.

“You guys, Charlie and her girlfriend, Balthazar and Laura, both of my brothers and their families, so roughly twenty or so people?”

“So you’ll want cookies or cupcakes for the little ones, pie for Dean because that boy won’t accept anything else, and maybe a couple of cheesecakes or a cake too.” She was pulling frozen fruit out of the freezer and setting the bags on the island as she talked.

“Dean mentioned cheesecakes. He bought cream cheese and sour cream as well as some graham cracker crusts.” Cas pulled the ingredients out of the fridge and set them down next to the fruit.

“Have you ever made a pie or a cheesecake before?” She asked.

“I have helped Dean make pie.” He replied.

“Well good, cause you’re about to get a crash course in baking sweetie. Grab an apron.”

Cas and Ellen had completed six pies and four cheesecakes from start to finish by the time Dean walked through the front door. He smiled at them as he took off his coat and shoes.

“Where have you been boy?” She chastised, yet still she pulled him down and kissed his cheek.

“I had something I needed to do, but you have me now. What can I do?” He asked.

“Show the love of your life here how to make a damn chocolate chip cookie for starters. You get an F in my book on parenting if you can’t make chocolate chip, Snickerdoodle, oatmeal, or sugar cookies from scratch.” She replied as she tossed an apron at him. He chuckled as he put it on. 

“You guys made that many pies? What kind?”

“Two cherry, two apple, and two pumpkin.” Cas replied as he moved the pies to the cooling rack on the far counter. Ellen took out a bag of flower and handed it to Dean.

“Show your man how to make cookies.” 

Dean grinned as she smacked him in the butt on her way out of the room.

“You ready to learn how to make chocolate chip cookies?” He asked.

Cas nodded. “Sure.”

The next hour was spent making the dough and putting it on cookie sheets. Cas found the recipe that Dean was using to be fairly simple enough and after the first batch was in the oven he jotted it down so he could make them on his own if Dean wasn’t home. The doorbell rang just after three and Dean went to answer it.

“Daddy!” Gracie squealed from her uncle’s arms.

“Hey princess!” He took her from Gabe and helped her out of her coat and shoes.

“Was she good for you?” Dean asked as he got her out of her coat and winter boots.

“She’s a handful, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. Robby was worse at that age.” Gabe replied as he stripped off his own coat.

“I got ice cream daddy! Unca Gabe gimme ice cream!” Gracie clapped her hands excitedly making Dean smile.

“Was it good ice cream?” He asked her?

“It was choco-lat!” 

“Mmm, yummy! My favorite!” Dean exclaimed.

“My favorite too!” She clapped again.

“Cas is in the kitchen making cookies. I’m going to go give the princess a bath to get ready for tonight.” Dean said to Gabe.

“No problem. I’ll go help Cas.” Gabe said.

Dean nodded and took Gracie upstairs.

“It’s time for a bath, monkey, we’re going out tonight. I have a pretty dress for you to wear.” He told her as they walked.

“A petty dress? I want my pincess dress!”

“No, princess dress is for tomorrow when everyone can see you. Tonight you’re going to wear a different princess dress. It’s pink, like Sleeping Beauty’s dress.” He told her. When they got to the bathroom he closed the door and put her down.

“Take off your clothes.” He instructed as he got the water started.

“I have to pee pee daddy.” She announced as she pulled her stool over to the toilet and climbed up. They kept a smaller toilet seat on this toilet since she was usually the only person using this one, so that she didn’t fall in. Dean smiled when he heard her peeing. He had expected the potty training to be more difficult than it was but aside from a few accidents she was doing very well. For Christmas he and Cas had bought her underwear with Elsa and Anna on them and he knew she’d love them. 

He tossed her toys into the tub as she walked over.

“I want my boat daddy.” She pointed to the blue boat on the edge of the tub. He tossed that in too before lifting her up and setting her down in the water.

As he washed her hair and scrubbed her down, he sang. He was an expert at all the princess songs now, and this particular song was ‘Someday My Prince Will Come.’ She sang along with him, smiling brightly. It was one of their favorite pastimes, just finding different songs to sing together.

“I found my prince baby girl. Someday you’ll find yours too. Or maybe you’ll find a princess. Someone that makes you as happy as papa makes me.” He told her as he conditioned her little blonde curls.

“I love papa.” She said soberly as he rinsed her hair.

“I love papa too.” He agreed.

“He’s my favorite papa.” 

“That would make sense, he’s your only papa.” He chuckled.

“You’re my favorite daddy.” She added. He smiled and leaned over the edge of the tub to kiss her forehead.

“You’re my favorite princess.” 

“Are you ready to get out? So I can show you your pretty dress?”

She nodded and stood up so he could wrap her in an oversized towel. When he turned around he found Cas standing in the doorway watching them, a fond smile on his face. 

“How much of that did you hear?” Dean asked. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red. Cas smiled wider and leaned in to kiss him.

“Papa, no!” Gracie complained and pushed him back. He turned to her, putting his lips against her neck and blowing a raspberry. She screamed and collapsed in Dean’s arms in a fit of giggles. He grinned and looked back at Dean.

“I heard the whole thing. I came up around the middle of the second very of your prince song.”

Dean blushed harder. Oh…yeah.”

“You’re not the only one that found your prince.” He kissed Dean once more before stepping aside to let them out of the bathroom.

“Well Prince Charming, go get ready so you can take her royal highness when I’m done getting her dressed.” Dean told him. Cas nodded and disappeared into their bedroom to get ready.

In Gracie’s bedroom he deposited a mostly dry child on top of the bed before grabbing a pull up and wrangling her into it. He went to her closet and took out the pink, satin dress he had bought just for tonight. It came down to her ankles and fanned out like a bell, just the way she liked her dresses. When he held it up her green eyes widened and her little mouth formed an O.

“Daddy! Dat’s my pincess dress?” 

“It is. Do you like it?” He asked. She nodded eagerly as she stood up on the bed and reached for it. He carried it over to the bed and smiled as her tiny hands ran over the silky fabric.

“Oh daddy, is petty!”

“Well, let’s get it on you.” He slid the dress over her head and turned her around to zip it up. It was a bright pink, almost fuchsia in color, and very close to Aurora’s dress color in Sleeping Beauty. It had puffy, princess sleeves and a white sash. He’d bought her white tights to go under it and gotten shoes dyed to match the dress. He realized she was spoiled but he didn’t care. He only ever intended to get married once, and she was as important a part of the ceremony as he and Cas were. He got the tights and shoes on her and then pulled out the tiny pink hair clips he had bought for her to wear with the outfit. They looked like tiny crowns with tiny pink rhinestones. She gasped when she saw them, and to his surprise she sat still as he put them in. When she was completely dressed he took a step back to look at her.

“I’m petty daddy?” She asked, spinning around for him to see the dress fan out around her.

“Yes baby girl, you’re very pretty. Let’s go look in the mirror, ok?” He held out a hand and she took it. They walked to his and Cas’ room and knocked on the door.

“Are you dressed papa?” He asked. The door opened and Cas smiled down at Gracie.

“Oh! Is that the dress daddy got you? You’re the most beautiful princess in the whole, wide world!” He exclaimed. She giggled and bounced up and down excitedly.

“Yes! Daddy got me da petty dress!” 

“Can we use the mirror?” Dean asked. Cas nodded and stepped back to let them in. 

As Dean closed the door so Gracie could admire herself in her dress, Cas returned to the master bath where he had been shaving. He watched his daughter dance back and forth in front of the full length mirror with a huge smile on her face. Somehow he couldn’t remember his life before this tiny angel had come into it. 

“Do you like it?” Dean asked his daughter. She nodded.

“I wanna show gamma!”

“Ok, let’s go. Cas, I’m taking her down to see grandma. When you’re done, that’s where she’ll be.” Dean called out. Cas stuck his head out of the bathroom, his face half covered in shaving cream.

“Alright. I’ll only be about another twenty.”

Dean nodded and took Gracie by the hand. They went downstairs to seek out Ellen. She was sitting on the couch reading one of Cas’ music magazines and she looked up with a smile when they walked in.

“Well look at you sugar! Aren’t you the most beautiful girl ever!”

Gracie bounded excitedly up and down, a huge smile on her face.

“Daddy say papa his prince. Daddy’s my prince!” She exclaimed and looked up at her father, her eyes bright and shining.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’ll always, always be my princess.” He told her. His eyes burned with the tears that wanted to spill but he maintained a smile for her. She turned to Ellen again.

“Daddy sang me pincess songs inna tub. I sang too.” She told her grandmother.

“Your daddy sings like an angel. Do you like when he sings to you?” Ellen asked.

“Yes. Daddy has a petty voice.” Gracie replied. Dean chuckled. He was glad he wasn’t making her ears bleed with his singing.

“Can you watch her? I’m going to see how Gabe is doing in the kitchen.”

Ellen nodded and shooed him away.

“How’s it going?” Dean asked as he walked into the kitchen. To his surprise Gabe was rolling Snickerdoodle balls in a cinnamon and sugar mix, and laying them on a clean cookie sheet. The chocolate chip cookies were cooling on racks by the pies.

“Cookies are a specialty of mine and Cassie mentioned that you wanted Snickerdoodles. So I made a batch.” Gabe shrugged and set another ball of dough on the sheet.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t sure we’d have the time to make them.” Dean said.

“I only made one batch and you have a big enough oven that I can get them all done at once. They’ll cool while we’re at dinner tonight and someone can store them tonight.”

Dean nodded and went to examine the pies. They smelled divine.

“Cassie also said that if he finds out you touched a single pie, he’ll cut your fingers off.” Gabe said with a cocky smirk. Dean chuckled.

“Yeah, he would say that.”

He touched the side of one pie to see if it was cool enough to move to the fridge yet. It wasn’t so he let them be and went to take the cookie sheet Gabe had finished filling and moved it to the oven. The rest of the cookies went on a second tray and he put them in the oven too.

“Still making cookies?” Cas asked from the doorway. He was adjusting the cuffs on his shirt and Dean had a hard time not staring. Cas raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile on his lips.

“What, do I look that good?” 

Dean quickly nodded. “Hell yes you do.”

“Good to know. Wait til you see me tomorrow.” Cas winked and walked into the living room. Dean continued to stare until Gabe elbowed him.

“Go get ready loverboy, you can stare all you want later.”

Dean grinned at him. “Staring isn’t what I’ll be doing later.”

Gabe had a pained expression on his face but he was laughing and smiling in spite.

“Oh, TMI big guy, go get ready.”

Dean snuck into the living room to smack Cas in the butt before he jetted up the stairs and into the bedroom. He took a quick shower and when he got out he shaved and styled his hair before returning to the bedroom to get dressed.

His suit, a simple black piece he’d had specially tailored fit him like a glove and he paired it with a shirt the same color as Gracie’s dress. He added a black silk tie before finding his black Oxfords in the closet and putting them on. He took a moment to admire his reflection in the mirror before heading downstairs.

Someone whistled when he reached the bottom of the stairs and he looked up to see Gabe and Sam standing there looking at him. Jess came out of the living room and smiled at him.

“You look great Dean.” She told him.

“Yeah, you don’t clean up half bad.” Gabe said. 

“Thanks guys.” Dean said. Cas came out of the living room with Gracie in his arms. His eyebrows rose as he took in Dean.

“Wow babe, you look amazing.”

He leaned in to give Dean a quick kiss.

“Papa, no! No kisses!” Gracie put a hand on either of their chests and pushed them apart.

“Why can’t I kiss daddy?” Cas asked her.

“No, he’s my daddy.” She grumbled.

“But…he’s my prince.” Cas stuck his lower lip out in a pout. She looked at him, her gaze unsure.

“Daddy you prince?”

Cas nodded. “He’s my prince.”

She looked up at Dean who nodded. “Yep, and papa’s my prince too, remember?”

Her little brow furrowed and she crossed her arms. It was clear she was upset. 

“You’re still daddy’s princess, sweetheart, you always will be.” Dean kissed her cheek but she quickly wiped it off.

“Someone’s a little jealous.” Jess said with a soft chuckle.

“That’s an understatement.” Dean sighed. He took Gracie from Cas and got her coat on. 

“We gonna eat? I hungy daddy.” She said as he put her hat on her head and velcroed it under her chin.

“First we’re going to the banquet hall so we can see what it will be like tomorrow, then we’ll go get you some French fries, ok?” He told her. She nodded. He handed Cas his coat before putting his own on.

“We ready to go?” Sam asked.

“Yep, let’s get a move on so we’re not late.” Dean replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They met Michael at the hall and the run through of the ceremony was pretty straight forward. Gracie tripped once coming down the aisle and Dean worried that she might fall the next day since the actual flower girl dress came down to the tops of her shoes. When it was all over they drove to the restaurant and found the tables they had reserved. Gracie ran straight to Meg and jumped in her arms.

“Hey cutie, you did a great job tonight!” She told the little girl.

“My knee hurts.” Gracie pulled her dress up to show Meg her knee, but it was covered by her tights. Still, Meg placed a kiss on it.

“Better?”

Gracie nodded. 

Dean sat down and Cas sat down next to him. Dean put his arm around the man’s shoulder and pulled him closer.

“You nervous about tomorrow?” Cas asked him.

“Not at all. I’m excited.” Dean replied. Cas smiled as Dean kissed his cheek softly.

“Awww, I think I have diabetes now.” Meg said dryly. Everyone at the table laughed, including Dean and Cas.

“Did you get your Christmas shopping done?” Liz asked. She and Nancy had become friends with Cas and Dean and they had invited the ladies tonight.

“We did a piss poor job of shopping, but basically, yes. Everyone is getting something, just not what we normally would do. I usually go all out at Christmas but this year we’ve just been too busy.” Dean admitted.

“It’s to be expected.” Liz said with a nod.

“We don’t care about presents you idjit, you know that.” Bobby said. “It’s about family being together.”

“I know.” Dean smiled at the people around the table. “But I still like to spoil the people I love.”

“I think Gracie’s going to make out like a bandit this year.” Sam said with a laugh.

“I got her clothes. She doesn’t need more toys.” Ellen added.

“I figured the same thing, so I avoided toys. Besides, kids grow like weeds.” Gabe said.

Cas nodded. “She’s already grown about four inches since summer. She’s almost into a 4T.”

“She’s going to be tall.” Jess said.

“Well, her mom was almost as tall as me, so I think she will be too.” Dean told her.

“When are you finalizing the adoption?” Nancy asked.

“Sam here got all of the paperwork already drawn up. We have a court date for the second week in January to finalize it all. We’re handling Cas’ name change at the same time.” Dean replied. He smiled at Cas who leaned his head against Dean’s shoulder. 

“I don’t blame you for leaving the Novak name behind.” Michael said. Cas smiled at his brother. He was grateful that the man understood.

“So you’ll be Castiel Winchester?” Michael’s wife Brenda asked. Cas nodded.

“It has a nice ring to it.” She said.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Dean asked.

The dinner progressed with conversation flowing easily. As it drew to a close Dean tapped on his wine glass to draw everyone’s attention.

“I wanted to say something about some guests we have coming tomorrow. I have a couple of friends that are…famous, and I am asking for everyone to please not make a big deal out of them being there. I have invited them over in the spring too and I don’t want them to be scared off because my family can’t act like normal human beings.”

“Who exactly is coming?” Brenda asked.

“Jessica Simpson and her husband Eric Johnson.” He replied. There were excited murmurs and a few gasps.

“I can honestly say I have no idea who those people are.” Michael admitted.

“Honey, Jessica Simpson, the pop star! You know who that is! And Eric plays football, though I don’t know what team he plays for.” She pulled out her phone and Googled Jessica. When she held the phone out to him he nodded.

“Oh, yeah. I don’t think I know her music though.”

“No, but the girls do.” Brenda was referring to their children.

“I don’t know them either.” Gabe said. “I don’t follow football, and unless Jessica sings hard rock or heavy metal, I can’t say I’ve ever heard anything she’s done.”

“What team does Eric play for?” Nancy asked.

“He’s retired.” Dean replied.

“We’re not going to embarrass you.” Sam assured his brother. Dean knew Sam wouldn’t, nor would Jess, but Bobby was practically bouncing with excitement.

“Bobby, don’t you dare.” Dean warned. Ellen looked over at her husband. She smacked his arm when she saw how he was acting.

“Don’t you act like a five year old. Eric is just a regular guy like anyone else.”

Bobby scowled at his wife before crossing his arms and glaring down at his empty plate. It made Dean and Cas both laugh to see him pouting.

“They’re very nice people, and they’re bringing their kids, so Gracie and Maya will have other kids to play with.” Cas said.

Everyone nodded, agreeing to act casual, and that was the best Dean was going to get, so he settled for it. When the meal came to an end Meg handed over a sleepy little girl and Cas managed to get her back into her coat. They bid everyone goodnight and headed home.

Once inside the house they toed off their shoes and removed their coats.

“I’ll get baby girl here ready for bed if you want to get the cookies and pies put away.” Dean said. Cas yawned and nodded, already heading for the kitchen. Dean took his sleeping daughter up the stairs and into her bedroom.

The child never woke as he stripped off her dress and tights. She stirred only slightly as he changed her pull up and put her nightgown on. He wasn’t going to worry about making her brush her teeth, she was too dead to the world for that. She sighed as he lifted her up enough to pull her blankets out and cover her up.

“Goodnight my sweet angel.” He whispered as he kissed her forehead. As he walked to his room he stripped off his jacket and tie. He was just removing his shirt when Cas walked in.

“Everything is put away and the bowls and other stuff are in the dishwasher. Remind me to hit wash in the morning.” Cas said as he hung up his jacket and pulled off his tie.

“I’ll try.” Dean said as he took off his dress pants. Strong arms snaked around his waist, pulling back against a firm, half-dressed body.

“I love you in that suit. Shame you’re not wearing that one tomorrow.” Cas kissed the back of his neck before resting his head against the dreamcatcher tattoo.

“You’ll like what I’m wearing tomorrow.” Dean assured him.

“No doubt. You could walk down the aisle in sweats and I’d be happy.” Cas laughed.

“Well I chose something nicer than sweats.” 

“Good to hear.” Cas kissed his neck one more time before releasing his hold on the man and disappearing into the bathroom. Dean had hung their suits up and set them aside to be dry cleaned later while Cas was in the bathroom. When he came out, Dean went in. When he returned to the bedroom Cas was already under the covers with his face buried in a book. As Dean crawled into the bed next to him he set the book aside and slid down further. He turned on his side as Dean turned off the lamp and wrapped himself around the man.

“Someone’s feeling particularly cuddly tonight.” Dean teased, but he didn’t mind. In fact he slid an arm under Cas and pulled him so close the man was almost on top of him.

“I can’t believe that this time tomorrow we’re going to be married.” Cas sighed happily.

“I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life as I do this.” Dean lifted Cas’ left hand and placed a tender kiss against the spot where, as of tomorrow the wedding ring he had selected would rest. Cas made a soft humming noise as he laid his head on Dean’s chest, directly over his heart. 

I love you Dean. I can’t express just how much you mean to me.” 

“I love you too babe, and I am excited to get to spend the rest of my life with you as my husband.” Dean whispered. 

Cas smiled as his eyes slid closed. This was everything he had ever dreamed of when he pictured himself married, not the hell his father had tried to force him to endure. This here was Cas’ idea of perfection, and there was no one else he could have pictured himself spending the rest of his life with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the wedding itself, so get ready people!!!!!
> 
> Leave a comment, I love hearing what you guys thing.


	34. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Dean and Cas to exchange vows and rings, and for Castiel to join the Winchester family officially.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know y'all have been just waiting for this chapter. There will be a few more chapters after this and then it'l be over. *Sniff, sniff*. 
> 
> I hope you get the little bits of irony in this chapter...

_Wedding Day_

“I can’t tie this bloody thing.” Cas complained for what had to be the hundredth time. He really hated having to wear a tie. At least bow ties were usually clip ons, even with his tux, but this thing was driving him nuts. 

“Come here.” Charlie heaved a heavy sigh and he sensed that he was annoying her, but there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t for the life of him remember how to tie the stupid thing. He walked over and stood patiently while she tied it and then fixed his collar.

“We really couldn’t have picked a better suit, Cas. You look amazing.” She stood back and looked at him, making sure everything was in place. 

“I like it. I hope Dean likes it too.” He was pushing his lip ring around with his tongue absently as he checked his reflection in the mirror. Back at the beginning of November he had gone with Charlie to pick out his suit and while he had been leaning towards a navy blue number she had vetoed it.

“Dean’s suit is nicer than this. Just trust me, ok?” She had said. And he had. He put his faith in her and he was not disappointed. 

What he knew was that Dean’s suit was neither black nor white, but there were a lot of colors in the spectrum, and so many shades that he had no idea what Charlie and Dean had picked out. So he decided to focus on his own suit and now he stood here in a steel gray, three piece suit with a blue tie that matched the flowers he had selected and the sash in Gracie’s dress. His hair was hopeless as usual but he knew how much Dean loved his hair when it was messy, so he didn’t fuss too much with it. 

“Dean’s going to stop breathing the moment he lays eyes on you, I promise.” Charlie was standing just behind him, looking at him through the mirror’s reflection.

“You think so?” He asked, unsure.

“Honey, that boy stops breathing every time he looks at you, no matter what.” Ellen said from her seat across the room. She had come to take pictures and he turned to face her. She snapped another picture.

“I love him so much.” He felt the lump forming in his throat and he swallowed hard in a vain attempt to push it down. His vision grew blurry and he wiped at his eyes.

“We know sweetheart, and so does Dean.” Ellen got up, crossing the room to stand in front of him. She cupped his cheek in one hand and smiled up at him.

“I know how much my boy loves you, but it’s so obvious how much you love him too. I know you will have a wonderful marriage filled with love.”

She reached into her purse and pulled out a blue linen handkerchief that he was surprised to see actually matched his tie. She folded it and tucked it into the breast pocket on his jacket.

“This was my daddy’s, so here’s you something old, something borrowed, and something blue all rolled into one. Your suit is your something new.” She explained.

“Thank you, for everything.” He placed a kiss to her forehead and she smiled.

“Now go get in place, we have a wedding to do.”

Cas looked at Charlie who checked the time on her phone. She nodded. “It’s time.”

He was raw nerves as he stepped from the dressing room out into the hall. Meg met him as he started down the hall.

“Damn Cas, you look amazing.” She said as she looked him over.

“Thanks. Did…did you see Dean?” 

She smirked and shook her head. “Uh uh, you are going to wait. No sneak peeks and no spoilers. I’ve seen him and he looks delicious, but I’m not giving you details.”

He took a deep breath and nodded. “Ok, I’m getting in place now.” 

As he entered the banquet hall turned temporary church everyone fell silent. He heard comments from both sides about how good he looked and he nodded and smiled at a few people as he walked up the makeshift aisle to the front where his brother Michael stood.

“You look good.” Michael said.

“Thanks.” Cas adjusted his jacket and checked the handkerchief.

“Nervous?” Michael asked.

“To get married? No. To do this in front of all of our family and friends? A bit.” Cas admitted. Michael smiled and patted his shoulder. 

“You’ll do fine. Once Dean is standing here in front of you the rest will fade into the background. He’ll be all that you can focus on.”

Cas took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I hope you’re right.” He looked out across the people that had gathered. For a Christmas Eve wedding they had a surprisingly large turnout. Dean’s guest list had been much larger, but he was pleased to see how many people had turned out for him too. Members of the orchestra had come with their families as well as all the guys from the band. Balthazar’s fiancé Laura was sitting in the second row and she gave him a huge smile and a thumbs up. He grinned at her before letting his gaze go out over the rest of their guests. So many smiles directed his way, it never ceased to amaze him. Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson sat on Dean’s side with their little family and it brought a smile to his lips knowing that Dean had ingratiated himself so much into their lives that they had taken the time on Christmas Eve to come to their wedding. People were staring a bit but no one was being rude or harassing them. He was thankful for that.

He spotted Gabe, Nancy, Liz and the kids in the seats behind Laura and his brother winked at him. He smiled back. It was a relief knowing that Gabe didn’t resent him for not asking him to stand up in the wedding. They were on better terms, certainly, but it was going to take a long time to heal and Gabe realized that too. 

The music started, a slow instrumental of one of Cas’ favorite songs that, to his surprise, Dean had readily agreed to, Amaranthine by Amaranthe. He knew most of Dean’s family and friends were probably expecting something closer to Metallica or Zeppelin for a song selection and there were more than a few surprised faces in the crowd. As the music started Sam started down the aisle with Jo on his arm. Cas stood facing the back of the hall with his hands clasped tightly in front of him and his heart racing a mile a minute. To keep things even, though Jo and Kevin were technically on Dean’s side, she moved to stand behind him, leaving room for Kevin, Balthazar and Meg to stand in front of her. Jess and Balthazar came out next and his friend winked at him. As Balthazar moved to stand behind him, he patted Cas on the shoulder. Meg and Kevin came out next. As they reached the front of the room and Meg moved to stand behind Balthazar, she paused to give a side kiss to his cheek so that she didn’t get lipstick on him. Kevin fell in behind her with a wink and a nod at Cas. Charlie and Benny came out next, both moving to stand between Sam and Jess.

Collectively everyone awed as Gracie made her appearance. Her little basket was clutched in one hand and a handful of flower petals were clutched in the other. She moved slowly up the aisle, forgetting to toss the petals until Charlie came down to remind her. Cas was amazed by how beautiful his daughter looked in her dress and silver crown. Ellen had taken Gracie with to the salon that morning to get her hair done too and her little blonde curls had been pinned up on top of her head. They had white, satin ballet slippers dyed to the same shade of blue as the sash in her dress and she couldn’t have possibly looked more like a princess as she came down the aisle. 

“Imma pincess!” She announced about three quarters of the way to the front of the room. Soft laughter permeated the space and even Cas had to chuckle. She spotted him and smiled brightly.

“Papa!” She cried, shooting around Charlie and running up to her father. He scooped her up and kissed her cheek. When Charlie moved to take her from him he shook his head and she moved back to her spot behind Sam.

“When daddy comes out with grandma you have to go sit in your seat with her, ok? Grandma has a toy for you and you have to be a good girl if you want it, ok?” He whispered. She looked at him with bright green eyes and smiled.

Dean finally stepped into the aisle with Ellen on one side and Bobby on the other. Michael was right, everyone else ceased to exist the moment he laid eyes on the man.

“Oh…papa…daddy petty!” Gracie’s voice was barely above a whisper but he heard her in spite of the music. He nodded in agreement.

“Yes, princess, daddy’s pretty. Make sure you tell him he’s pretty when he gets up here, ok?” She nodded.

“Ok.”

Dean smiled up at Cas and he thought his heart might stop. When they reached the front Dean paused to give Bobby a hug and kiss Ellen before he moved to stand in front of Cas and Gracie.

“Daddy, you petty.” Gracie told him.

“Thank you baby girl. What about papa? Is he pretty too?” Dean asked. Gracie turned to look at Cas as though she were seriously considering whether he was or not.

“Yes.” She finally said. “Papa petty too. And Gracie petty! Imma pincess daddy!”

Dean chuckled and leaned in to give his daughter a kiss. “Yes you are, and princesses sit like good girls with their grandmas. She has a present for you, so go on now.”

Cas handed Gracie over to Ellen who took her to sit down with Bobby in the front row. Cas turned to admire Dean in his suit. The man was stunning no matter what but the tan suit with the blue tie made him breathtakingly handsome. It emphasized his bright green eyes and dirty blonde hair as well as the freckles that Cas loved so much. It was a three piece, just like his own, and he thought it was probably even better on Dean than the tux had been.

“You look amazing babe.” Dean told him as he took Cas’ hand. Cas smiled so wide his cheeks hurt.

“I was thinking the same thing about you. I think I like you in this better than I do in a tux.” 

“You guys ready?” Michael asked. Both Cas and Dean turned to him and nodded.

“Been ready my whole life.” Cas said. Dean smiled and squeezed his hand.

Michael cleared his throat and looked out over the audience, making sure he had everyone’s attention.

 

**_“Castiel and Dean, we are gathered here together to witness the love and respect that you have for each other.  
Castiel and Dean are you entering into this marriage freely, voluntarily and without any conditions?”_ **

 

Both men nodded and murmured a ‘yes’.

 

****_“Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens._  
A good marriage must be created.  
The little things are the big things.  
It is never being too old to hold hands.  
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day. 

****

****_It is never going to sleep angry._  
It is at no time taking the other for granted;  
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,  
it should continue through all the years. 

****

****_It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives._  
It is standing together facing the world.  
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.  
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude  
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. 

****

****_It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating_  
gratitude in thoughtful ways.  
It is not expecting one person to wear a halo  
or the other to have the wings of an angel.  
It is not looking for perfection in each other.  
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.  
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.  
It is giving each other an atmosphere in  
which each can grow. 

****

****_It is finding room for the things of the spirit._  
It is a common search for the good and  
the beautiful.  
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and  
the obligation is reciprocal.  
It is not only marrying the right partner,  
it is being the right partner. 

****

**_Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family…..Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition._ **

****

**_Castiel, please face Dean and repeat after me.”_ **

Cas turned to face Dean and repeated the words his brother was saying:

****_“Dean, I come here today to join your life for years,_  
I pledge to be true to you, to respect you,  
and to grow with you through the years.  
We are many things to each other.  
May only those best qualities continue to shine  
and may our bond continue to grow stronger  
Time may pass, fortune may smile, trials may come;  
no matter what we may encounter together,  
I vow here today that this love will be my only love.  
I will make my home in your heart from this day forward.” 

**_“Dean, please face Castiel and repeat after me.”_ **

**_Dean nodded and repeated the words Michael said:_ **

****

****_“I come here today to join your life for years,_  
I pledge to be true to you, to respect you,  
and to grow with you through the years.  
We are many things to each other.  
May only those best qualities continue to shine  
and may our bond continue to grow stronger  
Time may pass, fortune may smile, trials may come;  
no matter what we may encounter together,  
I vow here today that this love will be my only love.  
I will make my home in your heart from this day forward.” 

Michael looked at Sam and then Balthazar. “May we please have the rings?” Both men fished out the ring they were in charge of and handed them over. As Cas held the ring poised over Dean’s finger he looked him in the eye and repeated the next words Michael said:

 

****_“Dean, what I have to give you is_  
the promise to take you as my only love from this day forward,  
to stand by your side, to listen when you speak,  
to comfort you when you cry,  
and to join your laughter with my own.  
Take this ring, and be part of my life forever.” 

 

He slid the ring onto Dean’s finger, smiling as it came to rest against the first ring he had put on the man’s hand. Dean took Cas’ left hand and with ring in hand he repeated the words Michael spoke again:

 

****_“Castiel, what I have to give you is_  
the promise to take you as my only love from this day forward,  
to stand by your side, to listen when you speak,  
to comfort you when you cry,  
and to join your laughter with my own.  
Take this ring, and be part of my life forever.” 

 

Michael smiled at them as Dean slid the ring onto Cas’ finger. This was the first time Cas was seeing the ring Dean had chosen and it brought a smile to his lips. It was black, tungsten, with silver edging and a Celtic knot design. It was perfect.

“Almost done guys.” Michael said softly. Both men looked up at him and waited for him to continue.

 

**_“Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings. The wedding ring is a symbol of the vows taken here today, a circle of wholeness perfect in form. The unending circle of a ring is a sign of fidelity, the pledged faithfulness of a couple to each other. These rings mark the beginning of an unending journey together filled with wonder and surprises, laughter and tears, celebration and joy. May these rings glow in the warmth and happiness of you both today.”_ **

****

**_“There may be times filled with happiness, sorrow, tears or laughter, whatever it may be, remember love has given you wings; your journey begins today; Castiel and Dean, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, remember the love that brought you here today. It is only love which can make your marriage a glorious union, and it is by love that your marriage will endure.”_ **

****

**_“Castiel and Dean, as you have consented together in lawful wedlock and thereto have pledged your faith to each other, and have declared the same by joining hands and giving and receiving of rings and exchanged your first gifts as a married couple and by the powers vested in me as a Justice of the Peace for the State of Kansas, I now pronounce you are married!”_ **

****

**_“If you wish to seal this marriage with a kiss, you may now do so.”_ **

 

Dean smiled at Cas. “I love you babe.”

“I love you too, now kiss me!” Cas whispered. Dean’s smile grew bigger as he took Cas’ face in his hands and kissed him. Applause broke out.

“No daddy! Ewww!” Gracie complained, grimacing. The applause was replaced by laughter. Even Dean and Cas laughed.

“May I introduce you to Dean and Castiel Winchester!” Michael announced and everyone clapped.

Dean pulled Cas into another kiss, this time ignoring the complaints of their daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, was it worth the wait? I'm worried it wasn't. No, I did NOT write the vows, though I could have come up with something equally as beautiful. I chose not to have them exchange hand written vows as I felt that would have been a bit too stressful for Dean, but I still chose appropriate ones. The sad part? I had to fix grammatical errors in the vows before I used them. Then I swapped the names. I hope you guys got a kick out of the vows I chose, and figured out WHY I chose those.
> 
> And for the record, this was not a religious based wedding, it's basically a civil union type, hence the lack of the mention of God in the vows. Dean makes it up in the next chapter though with the inscription on Cas' ring. I hope you guys like this chapter. Let me know what you think!!!! Leave a comment. Love you guys!!!


	35. The Wedding Reception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas learns that there is an inscription inside of his ring, and why Dean chose it. They have their first dance as husbands, and it's sweet fluffiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

“I love this ring babe.” Cas said as he admired the black band for the hundredth time. Dean took his hand and kissed it.

“It’s engraved too.”

Cas smiled at Dean before he removed the ring and read the quote:

“I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love”

“This is beautiful Dean, who’s quote is this?” 

“William Blake. I searched for months to find a quote that not only had meaning but expressed how I feel while also honoring your beliefs. Did I choose well?” Dean asked.

“It’s perfect. I love it.” Cas slid the ring back on his finger and leaned into Dean.

People were still filing into the banquet hall after having been shooed out so staff could bring in the tables. Dean and Cas were standing in a corner, wrapped in one another’s arms. 

“That was an absolutely beautiful wedding. Can I see your rings?” Jessica had made her way over with one child perched on her hip. Her other daughter was in Eric’s arms and he was making his way over too. They held out their hands so she could see them both.

“Oh, is this the ring Cas had bought that you were telling me about?” She asked Dean.

“Yeah, it is.” His face hurt from smiling so much but he couldn’t stop.

“I love this.” She pointed at Cas’ ring.

“Yeah, I think I’m a little jealous I didn’t find it first.” He said with a laugh. Dean kissed his temple and his eyes fluttered closed for a moment.

“Congratulations guys, that was a great wedding.” Eric said.

“Thank you. And thank you both for coming. It’s great to have you here. We want you to meet Gracie.” Dean looked around, trying to locate his daughter. He spotted her in Sam’s arms.

“Sam! Bring Gracie over!” Dean motioned to his brother who nodded and came walking over.

“Jessica, Eric, this is my brother Sam, and this…” Dean took his daughter into his arms. “Is Grace Deanna. Or Gracie as we call her.” He turned her so she could see Jessica and Eric but she was busy looking at the two kids they were holding.

“Is a petty dress.” She told Maxwell.

“Thank you.” Maxwell replied softly.

“You are a very, very pretty princess. I love your crown.” Jessica told Gracie. The little girl’s hands went up to her head where she tried to grab at the crown.

“No baby girl, leave it there.” Cas gently pulled her hands away.

“I has a cown. Imma pincess.” Gracie said matter-of-factly.

“I wanna be a princess too mama.” Maxwell said. 

“You are a princess, look at your pretty dress. You’re beautiful.” Cas told the little girl. She blushed and laid her head shyly on her mother’s shoulder.

“Daddy, I wanna pay!” Gracie fidgeted in her father’s arms. He handed her back to Sam.

“Can you see if Ellen can change her into the blue dress I packed? I’d like to save that dress for her kids.” Dean told him. Sam nodded, turning to look at Eric and Jessica before he walked away.

“It was very nice meeting you both.”

“It was nice meeting you too.” Eric said.

“Can I go too mommy?” Maxwell asked.

“Sure.” She put her daughter down and the little girl tagged along behind Sam and Gracie.

“I think they might end up being friends.” Jessica mused.

“I think you might be right. She’s what, three?” Cas asked.

“Yes. She’ll be four in May. Ace will be three at the end of June.”

“Gracie’s only a few days after Ace then, she’ll be three on July 4th.” He said.

The murmurs amongst the crowd grew and they all looked up to see that they were being ushered back into the room. Guests were seated first and then the wedding party made their way back in with Dean and Cas pulling up the rear. Everyone cheered as they walked to the table at the front of the room and took their seats.

“Get ready for the kisses.” Dean whispered in his ear.

“What?” Cas asked. A moment later the sound of champagne glasses being tapped rung out across the room.

Dean leaned in and kissed Cas, earning them a room full of applause.

“Oh.” Cas said, his cheeks turning red with embarrassment. 

“Grown men have no business being adorable but you’re fucking adorable when you’re embarrassed babe.” Dean told him. That just made Cas blush further and he hid his face against Dean’s shoulder.

Someone came to take their order before Ellen came walking up with a teary eyed Gracie in her arms.

“What’s the matter, pumpkin?” He asked as he accepted the child.

“She’s mad because I made her take off the other dress.” Ellen was exasperated. It was clear Gracie had given her a run for her money before they came back out here.

“Oh, is that what the problem is?” Dean asked as he sat Gracie down on his lap. She looked up, sniffling, her lower lip still quivering.

“But look at this pretty Elsa dress you’re wearing. You know, all the princesses have a party dress. This is your party dress. Papa picked it out special so you can dance in it.” Dean pointed to her white patent leather shoes and ruffled socks.

“See these? These are dancing shoes. What if your prince is out there? He has to see you in your dancing dress. Don’t you want to dance?” He asked her. 

“I want my pincess dress.” She whined.

“This is a princess dress too. How about I get grandma to get your crown and you can put it on with this dress? Would that make you happy?” He asked.

She patted the top of her head and whined. He caught Ellen’s attention and motioned towards his daughter’s head. She nodded and came back with the crown. He took it and positioned it back on her head.

“Now you look like Elsa. See? Your dress is blue like Elsa’s too.” He told his daughter.

She sniffled but was clearly still not pleased by the change in dresses.

“Gracie, you wanna play?” Maxwell had walked over and Gracie turned to look at her. Maya was making her way over too.

“Ok.” She slid down from Dean’s lap and disappeared under the table.

“Gracie!” Cas gasped. Just as he peeked under the table she popped out on the other side.

“Babe, she’s already out.” Dean nudged his husband and Cas sat up, pursing his lips. Dean chuckled.

Gracie took Maxwell’s hand and the girls all ran towards the back of the room. Dean could see Liz back there watching the kids. Ace appeared, running after the girls.

“Can’t miss out on all the fun.” Dean said with a small laugh.

Cas smiled at him and shook his head. “They’re so cute at that age.”

After several more rounds of glasses being tapped and kisses being demanded, toasts began. Sam stood up and tapped his glass to get everyone’s attention. He smiled at Dean and Cas before looking out over the guests.

“I guess this is where I tell everyone what a great guy my brother Dean is.” He began. Cas slid his hand into Dean’s as they looked up at Sam and listened to his speech.

“Dean is the best big brother I could have possibly asked for. He looked out for us both when we were kids, even when it meant he had to go without something. Our early childhood was pretty rough and we moved around a lot. Sometimes there wasn’t enough food for the both of us, but my brother here…he always, always made sure I had food in my belly, even if it meant he went to bed hungry. He thought I didn’t know what he was doing, but I did. I knew better than to argue with him though because he was more of a father to me than my own father was, and I didn’t want to disappoint him. Dean made sure that I made it into the college of my dreams, and he worked like a dog to pay for his tuition as well as mine because I refused to go unless he got the degree he wanted too. His first apartment, he brought me to live with him so that I could be closer to campus. We actually lived there right up until he met Cas here.”

“Dean is the kind of guy that always puts the needs of others before his own. He is selfless and caring, and just the best brother I could have ever asked for. The one thing that I always wanted for him was the one thing he had difficulty finding; someone to love him unconditionally, someone that wasn’t family, and that he could love unconditionally in return. In May of this year my girlfriend Jess told me about a festival with live music. Dean concentrated so much on his job and hardly ever got out, so I asked him to come with us and our friends. I had no clue that simple invitation was going to open the door to my brother finding the love of his life, but I guess you never really know. Dean met Cas that day and they immediately hit it off. It was clear pretty early on that they felt the same way about one another. When they told us they were in love I guess maybe I was a bit surprised it happened so quickly but in retrospect, I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people fall in love that fast or that hard, and just be so darn certain about it. Cas is the best thing that ever happened to Dean, and I’m pretty sure Dean’s the best thing that ever happened to him. Their love is one that I have faith will last a lifetime, and then some. I want to thank Cas for being everything my brother needed, and for loving him, even when he’s stubborn, selfish, and just a big butthead. I want to welcome you to the Winchester family formally but dude, you’ve been a part of the family almost since day one.” He raised his glass in their direction. Cas stood up and gave Sam a hug.

“Thank you Sam, that means a lot.” 

“Of course man. Just know, I won’t be referring to you as my brother in law. I’ll be referring to you as my brother.” Sam told him.

“Oh!” Cas’ fingers were shaking as they made their way to his throat and he swallowed hard. When he sat back down Dean wiped the tears from his eyes and kissed him.

“It’s ok baby, don’t cry.” 

Cas nodded but the tears kept coming. Balthazar got to his feet once Sam was seated again. The room fell silent once more except for the happy laughter of the children playing at the back of the room.

“I know that it is my duty as the other best man to say a few words as well. I have known Cassie for, oh, ten years now? Met him at a concert and immediately liked him. How can you not? He’s a very likeable person. I met him as he was beginning to come out of a very rough time in his life. He had no real direction, no goals, nothing, but he was the most optimistic bastard I had ever met in my life. He intrigued me. We became good friends fairly quickly and soon after decided to form our own band. I learned just what a talented musician, singer, and song writer he is, but most of all, I learned what a good friend he is. When I had nowhere to go, he took he in. We lived together for several years. As far as friends go, I suppose I know his deepest, darkest secrets. I offered advice when he needed it, and the occasional kick in the arse when it was warranted. I’ve known for years that the tough, bad boy image he put out was the opposite of what he’s really like. I knew his desire to find someone worth settling down with and starting a family, though he didn’t think he deserved that. Then Dean here sort of fell in his lap. I did not have the privilege of attending that festival, though I would have liked to have seen the moment they realized they liked one another. Honestly, for them both I think it was love at first sight, though they would probably both deny that. So we’ll call it lust at first sight, if for no other reason than to be cheeky.” Balthazar winked at Cas, making him laugh.

“Anyway, Dean came into his life and I very quickly saw a change in my dear friend. Suddenly he found someone he wanted to spend all of his time with, someone he wanted to take care of and love, and though this imagery is rather pathetic, it was like watching a flower bloom. I don’t think Cassie here was really living until he met Dean. I was there to witness the moment Cassie realized he was in love with Dean, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t immediately call him out on it? And then Gracie came into their lives. I had the privilege of seeing changes in my friend that I never thought I’d get to see. I saw him find the love of his life and I saw him fall in love. I knew as soon as I made that realization that Dean was the one, and that these two fools would spend the rest of their lives together. I suppose that’s how we all ended up here. I am nothing but happy for them both and I foresee a long and happy marriage for them both.” Balthazar turned and directed his next words directly to Dean.

“Dean, love, I want to thank you for loving my dear friend and for accepting him as he is and not trying to change him. He is like a brother to me, so I suppose that makes you like a brother to me as well. So, as Sam said so eloquently earlier, welcome to the family. It might be a bit unusual, but we’re thrilled to have you.”

Dean laughed and nodded. “I’m happy to be here.”

Balthazar nodded and sat down once more.

After that came more toasts, from Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Charlie, Michael, Frank from the band, and Meg. Dinner was served and somehow Gracie magically appeared in Cas’ lap. He let her steal bites of food from his plate until she was full, then she disappeared under the table again. He rolled his eyes and the look of exasperation on his face made Dean burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Cas demanded. The corners of his mouth twitched as he struggled not to smile.

“Gracie getting on your nerves for going under the table. She figured out the table cloth is like a tent. Your reaction is priceless.” Dean leaned over and puckered his lips, making kissy noises until Cas gave in and kissed him.

“I love you baby, always will.” He told him.

“I love you too, Dean.” Cas rested his arm on the back of Dean’s chair and absently scratched at the short hairs on the back of his husband’s neck as he looked out over their guests. He spotted Gabe talking to the DJ, a friend that Cas vaguely recognized.

“Who’s the DJ again?” He asked. Dean looked up, locating the man at the turntable.

“Oh, Sam got Garth to do it.”

“I met him before, right?” 

“Yes, at the fest we met at, and once since, at Sam’s house during a game. He was sitting on the floor in the corner with his beer. He’s so damn skinny he folds himself into corners and people forget he’s even there, but he’s a nice guy.” Dean said.

Music started and Gabe came walking over.

“Time for the first dance as husbands.” He announced. 

Dean grinned as he got to his feet. He held out his hand and Cas took it. He followed Dean out onto the dance floor, smiling as Dean pulled him in close, one hand on Cas’ waist, one holding his hand as Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud began to play.

“Oh, who chose this song?” Dean laughed when he realized what was playing.

“For your information, I did. Have you ever listened to the words?” Cas asked, one eyebrow cocked in challenge. Dean decided to actually listen to the words, his expression softening as the meaning behind them reached him.

“Oh, babe….yeah, this….this is us.” 

Cas smiled and leaned in to kiss him. “That’s why I chose it.”

When the song ended Dean found himself being drawn away by Ellen while Cas was pulled into another dance, this time with Meg.

“So handsome, what does it feel like to be married?” She asked him.

“Ask me that tomorrow. For now, I’m still adjusting to the ring on my hand and the fact that my name is no longer Novak.” He replied with a huff.

“Losing the name is no loss, trust me. Let me see that ring.” She took his hand and inspected the ring closely.

“I like it. It’s very…you. He has good taste.”

“There’s a quote by William Blake inside it too.” He said.

“Who?”

“Famous painter? Poet? Early nineteenth century?”

She shook her head. “Sorry. I didn’t pay attention in art. Or history, for that matter. What does the quote say?”

“I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love.” He replied.

“Huh. Rather fitting I think. He’s a romantic, isn’t he?” She said, smiling.

“He really is.” He agreed. The song came to an end and she hugged him tight.

“Congratulations cuz, I really am happy for you guys.”

“Papa, dance wif me?” Cas looked down to see Gracie standing in front of him. She was rocking side to side slowly as she held the hem of her dress. He smiled as he scooped her up in his arms.

“As long as I can walk on two legs I will always dance with you my sweet angel.” He told her. A new song came on and Cas twirled Gracie around the dance floor in an exaggerated dance that had her giggling and squealing in delight.

“More papa! More!” She cried when he dipped her. He continued to twirl her around until the end of the song. Dean had stood off to the side watching them, his heart so full of love and joy in that moment he was afraid it might burst. When Cas caught his eye he could see the same emotions reflected in those cerulean orbs. He crossed the dance floor to stand in front of Dean.

“Let’s call this one a father, daughter dance. Come on.” He led Dean back onto the dance floor where they danced together with Gracie sandwiched between them. She giggled and alternated which father she wanted to hug and kiss until the song was over. When Cas finally put her down she made a bee line for Sam.

“Pick me up Unca Sam!” She demanded.

Cas and Dean chuckled as they watched Sam bow to the whim of a temperamental two year old and lift her high in the air. Another slow song came on and Dean pulled Cas against him again.

“I love you so much Cas. I am honored to call you my husband.” Dean said softly against his ear as they swayed to the music. 

“Stop that or I’ll be crying again.” Cas told him. He sighed contentedly and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. This entire day couldn’t have been any more perfect. He had everything he could ever want in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you all enjoyed that chapter. Are your teeth rotting out yet? Lol. Leave a comment, let me know what you think.
> 
> So, I have some news...
> 
> My book Broken is nearly done being edited and should be available for purchase by this weekend. I am bound and determined to get it up there! Wish me luck that it sells well!!!


	36. The Wedding Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean surprises Cas with the news that instead of them having to head back to the house, he rented the honeymoon suite in hotel next door. It is their first night making love as husbands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for not posting a chapter all weekend, but.....I was busy. I PUBLISHED MY BOOK!!!!!! It is now available in hard copy on createspace, and within the next 72 hours it wll be available on Kindle, and in hard copy on Amazon too. So, I did NOT forget about you all, I was just on a mission! I know many of you have been waiting. I'll provide the link here for the hard copy, and as soon as the digital copy is available, I'll provide the link for that as well. I just want to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to everyone that has given such positive feed back on my writing. You gave me the strength to go ahead and publish my first book. It is NOT the only one I've written, but it is the first of many to be published. If you buy a copy, let me know so I can thank you personally.

“Dean, I’m ready to collapse, my feet are killing me.” Cas was sitting in a chair next to the dance floor rubbing his left foot. His shoe sat on the floor under his seat. Dean took in the miserable look on his face and nodded.

“Yeah, same here. I went ahead and booked us a room for the night in the hotel next door.. I wasn’t sure how much either of us would be drinking, but I was counting on us both being exhausted. Let’s go up to our room, I’ll even give you a foot massage.” He winked at his husband and Cas broke out in a grin.

“I’m holding you to that.” He looked around at their guests. Most everyone had gone home. Gabe was out on the dance floor dancing with Meg to some ridiculously fast song. Cas grimaced when he saw his brother attempt to twerk.

“Ok, I don’t need to see that ever again.” He removed his other shoe and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair.

“El took Gracie home about an hour ago, so it’s just you and me.” Dean grabbed Cas around the waist and pulled him close. 

“Mmmm, I like the sound of that.” 

“Thought you would. Let me tell our brothers that we’re going.” Dean gave him a quick kiss before attempting to approach Gabe on the dance floor. Cas watched him make the rounds, finding Gabe, then Sam, then Michael who, to Cas’ surprise, had actually stuck around for the entire reception. When he was done he returned to Cas’ side.

“Come on gorgeous.” 

Their room was on the top floor in the corner and as Dean slid the card into the lock Cas leaned his head against his back.

“You that tired babe?” Dean asked as the light flickered to green and he pushed the door open.

“Worn out is more precise. It’s been a long week.” Cas replied as he followed Dean into the room. When Dean hit the light switch Cas’ eyes widened.

“Shit babe, what is this?” He gasped as he took the room in.

“It’s the honeymoon suite.” Dean replied as he took Cas’ jacket and shoes from him. He set them on a chair before shrugging out of his own jacket and adding it to the pile. He toed his shoes off before pulling Cas into his arms.

“You like it?”

“It’s amazing! That view must be something incredible during the day.” Cas nodded towards the wall of windows to the right of the king size bed.

“I saw it this morning and yes, it’s nice. It’s a view of the whole city.” Dean kissed Cas’ neck gently as his fingers worked to untuck his shirt.

“Come on, let’s check out the bed.” Cas pulled back, taking Dean’s hands in his and leading him over to it. He stopped once they reached the edge and began unbuttoning Dean’s vest.

“You look so incredibly hot in a three piece suit, Dean. I think from now on that’s all I want to see you in. Forget the jeans and tee shirts, it’s this or nothing at all.” Cas said with a mischievous grin. He reached the last button and slid the vest down from Dean’s shoulders.

“Well, I’m not dealing with a messy toddler or cocky teenagers whilst wearing a three piece, so I am afraid I will have to regretfully decline your request, however…” Dean worked the buttons on Cas’ vest and pulled it off. “I can be naked upon request if that is to your liking.”

“I’m requesting that you be naked. Right. Now.” Cas growled as he quickly unbuttoned Dean’s dress shirt and untucked it from his pants. His fingers moved nimbly to unbuckle his belt and unbutton the pants as well. In less than a minute Dean was stripped down to his socks and underwear.

“If undressing another person were a sport, I think you’d be in the Guinness Book of World Records, babe.” Dean teased. Cas smiled as he worked at the buttons on his own shirt.

“Only if I’m undressing you. I don’t ever want to do that with anyone else.”

“And you never will. I’m yours, forever.” Dean pulled him into a kiss that made Cas forget what he’d just been doing. His hands scrambled to find purchase on the wide expanse of exposed skin Dean was offering. He pushed Dean back onto the bed and climbed on top of him, their mouths still attached, tongues sliding over one another.

“Get naked Cas, I want to see you.” Dean panted into his husband’s mouth when Cas ground down against him. Cas sat back, pulling his shirt and belt off before making quick work of his pants and socks too. He pulled Dean’s socks off before leaning back over him and kissing him again.

“I thought you were tired.” Dean laughed.

“Not too tired to make love to my husband.” Cas leaned his forehead against Dean’s and took a moment to stare into his eyes.

“I can’t tell you enough just how much I love you. There are not enough words in the English language to express exactly how I feel in this moment.”

Dean smiled, tilting his mouth up to meet Cas’. 

“You don’t have to say anything, I can feel it, right here in this moment. And I feel exactly the same way.”

Cas moved his mouth form Dean’s lips to his throat, trailing kisses down his chest, nipping at sucking at the warm skin, leaving noticeable marks in his wake. Dean moaned, long and low, his skin on fire every spot Cas touched. Long fingers snagged in the waistband of Dean’s underwear, tugging them down. He nuzzled against the soft hairs at the base of Dean’s cock before licking up the underside and swirling slowly around the head.

“Fuck!” Dean hissed. Of all of Cas’ piercings, the tongue ring and the Prince Albert were definitely his favorites, especially the tongue ring at that exact moment. Cas dipped his tongue into the slit before swallowing him down whole. He applied just the right amount of pressure to drive Dean nuts and leave him as a panting, writhing mess beneath him.

“Please baby, I need you inside me!” Dean begged. Cas gave his cock one last lick before sitting back on his heels.

“I can do that.”

He spotted his bag on the floor in front of the closet and opened it.

“Did you pack this?” He asked.

“Yes. Lube is in the inside pocket.” Dean replied. 

Cas found the lube and carried it back to the bed. Dean had rolled onto his side to watch as he fished around in the bag but as Cas climbed back onto the bed, he gently maneuvered him onto his back once more. Dean watched him pour the lube onto his fingers before the same hand disappeared between his legs.

As Cas slid one finger in, Dean let his eyes close, focusing only on the sensation of Cas touching him, of his fingers sliding in and out, of his mouth as it sucked and nibbled at his skin.

“You have no idea how good it feels just to feel.” He sighed. Cas pressed a tender kiss to Dean’s hip as he inserted a second finger. He understood what Dean meant and he was endlessly humbled by the fact that this beautiful man had found that connections he had sought out for so long, with him.

“I love you sweetheart, so, so much.” He murmured in between tender kisses placed against every inch of skin he could reach with his mouth.

“I love you too baby.” Dean reached down to card his fingers through Cas’ hair. 

Cas worked in a third finger, stretching and opening Dean as he adjusted his angle, reaching for and finding that delicious bundle of nerves that made those beautiful green eyes fly open.

“Cas!” Dean gasped as his entire body shuddered. “Come on baby, I’m ready.” He tugged lightly at Cas’ hair to get him to climb back up and kiss him, which he happily did.

Cas shucked his own underwear and grabbed the lube again. He poured a generous amount on his hand, giving his cock a few good swipes to coat it before he lifted Dean’s legs up and positioned himself at his entrance.

“I want to look at you baby, I want our first time as husbands to be us facing one another.” He told Dean as he pressed in. Dean moaned, arching his back and Cas took the opportunity to get a better grip on his legs before driving home.

When he was fully seated, Cas eased up on the grip he had on Dean’s legs. There would be bruises on his thighs tomorrow, not that Dean would care. He liked having them, but he always felt guilty leaving them. Before Dean could yell at him to move he began to rock his hips, finding his rhythm and setting a pace that had Dean screaming as his prostate was hit with every thrust. 

“Faster, please!” Dean begged as he dropped his legs from where Cas had balanced them on his shoulders and locked them instead around his husband’s waist, forcing him deeper with every thrust. Cas fell forward then, bracing himself by placing his hands on either side of Dean’s head and moving faster, letting the pressure of Dean’s legs wrapped around him dictate the strength of each thrust. He was sweating, his hips beginning to stutter as every nerve in his body began to tingle with his building orgasm. He barely managed to get a hand between them to stroke Dean’s cock before he was coming hard. A few quick pumps and a swipe over the head had Dean screaming and coming hard.

Cas rolled off of Dean and onto his back, panting hard and trying to wipe the sweat from his eyes.

“Shit that was intense!” Dean gasped. He forced himself to get up off the bed and even though Cas complained, he pulled him up and walked him to the bathroom.

“We’re not falling asleep in that.” Dean admonished as he filled the tub. One of the reasons he had sprung for the honeymoon suite had been so he could use this tub. 

“Not complaining if we’re going to relax in there.” Cas said as he wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist and pulled him back against him.

“This was a major reason why I got the room. I’ve never experienced a Jacuzzi tub before.” Dean replied, grinning.

“I don’t think I have either. Come on, let’s get in.” Cas took him by the hand and guided him into the tub. They sat back facing one another and Dean flipped the switch on the wall that activated the jets.

“Oh fuck that feels good.” Cas moaned, letting his head fall back. The tub was large enough that they both had plenty of room to stretch out and relax. Dean grabbed one of his feet and began massaging it. Cas cracked an eye open and smiled at him.

“I promised you a foot rub.” Dean said with a smile.

“It’s very much appreciated, babe. My feet are killing me from all that dancing in those shoes.”

Cas let his head loll back again and he closed his eyes as Dean rubbed one foot and then the other. He moved up to Cas’ thighs, kneading the muscles there as well, loving the way his husband sighed contentedly. When he finished with the second leg Cas sat up and held out his arms.

“Come here.” Dean slid across the tub and Cas turned him so that Dean’s back was pressed his chest. Tiny bottles of shampoo sat on the corner of the tub and Cas wet Dean’s hair before adding the soap and working up a lather in the man’s hair. Dean moaned happily as Cas washed and then rinsed his hair. Dean returned the favor and they took turns washing one another’s bodies too before they turned the jets off and got out.

Only the top blanket was wet with semen and Cas pulled it off, letting it drop to the floor before he pulled Dean down into the bed with him. Dean stretched, loving the way his body ached, and smiling as Cas wrapped himself around him. Dean pulled him closer, reaching down to pull the remaining blankets over them both.

“What time do we have to be out of here by tomorrow?” Cas asked through a yawn.

“Eleven.” Dean murmured, his eyes already sliding shut.

“M’k. I love you Dean.” Cas sighed as he began to drift off.

“I love you too, Cas. Now and forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the chapter, and I hope it's sufficiently smutty enough to make up for not getting anything at all this weekend. You guys know I love you all and appreciate you sticking by me with each story. Leave a comment, let me know what you think.


	37. Christmas Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before they leave for their honeymoon Cas and Dean are spending Christmas with their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't get a chapter up yesterday. Work was a nightmare and when work was over my best friend dragged me out for a walk like she has been doing most nights. She is just getting over a break up and doesn't really want to be alone, so we've been exercising, going for walks most nights, and last night, with that humidity, I thought I was going to die. But, here's your Christmas Day chapter. Just a few more and this one will be over. I know you all will be sad about that, but hang in there, I'll make each chapter sweet.

Cas woke first. He wasn’t sure what exactly had drawn him out of one of the best sleeps of his life, but now he was lying on his back with Dean wrapped around him. It seemed that at night they took turns. It usually started off with Cas wrapped around him when they fell asleep and ended in the mornings with Dean wrapped around him. He didn’t mind. The only way he could get any rest anymore was if Dean was in bed with him and they were cuddled up together. When had he become so dependent on another person? He didn’t know, but he wasn’t begrudging it. 

Dean’s arm was splayed across Cas’ chest, his left hand resting over his heart. Cas lightly ran his fingers over the two rings that now fit together on the third finger. It was as though the fates had guided his hand for the rings not only looked like a matching set, but they fit snug against one another, as though they had always belonged with one another. Much like how he felt about Dean. In his sleep Dean made a snorting noise and it brought a smile to Cas’ lips. He was dreaming and Cas just hoped it was a good dream. 

It was another twenty minutes before Dean finally stirred. He whimpered as he tried to stretch and the reminders of their previous night’s activities gave him a quick reminder.

“You ok?” Cas asked as he ran a hand up Dean’s bare arm.

“I’m fine.” Dean stretched anyway, rolling onto his back and stretching out every muscle. It felt wonderful. “What time is it?”

Cas got up to located his phone and upon finding it, checked the time. “Shit, it’s almost ten. We need to pack this crap up and get home. Everyone is going to start showing up at the house around noon, and we have to still get the turkey and the roast into the oven.” He dug around in his bag for clean clothes and got dressed. Dean’s bag was on the dresser and he was already halfway dressed by the time Cas was done. 

“I’m not shaving. I’ll do that tomorrow before we leave.” Dean said as he ran his hand over the scruff on his chin.

“I like you scruffy anyway, it’s sexy.” Cas planted a quick kiss on his lips before disappearing into the bathroom. Dean found all of the parts to their suits and hung them up neatly on the hangers he had brought in his bag. He had even thought to bring a suit bag for them and he tucked the suits into it. When Cas returned to the room he looked around, surprised to see it all cleaned up. The only thing still messy was the bed. 

“You shaved?” Dean asked.

“I do not look nearly as good as you do with a beard.” Cas replied.

“That’s debatable.” Dean crossed the room to pull Cas into his arms. He kissed the corner of his jaw and then his throat.

“Come on gorgeous, we have a dinner to cook.” 

“I am looking forward to our honeymoon. I just want to kick back on a beach and get some sun.” Cas sighed as he grabbed his bag.

“Yeah, that’s only IF I let you out of the bed.” Dean grabbed his own bag, winking at his husband as they left the room. Oh, Cas was REALLY looking forward to their honeymoon!

 

When they got home, chaos erupted. Sam overslept due to a nasty hangover and hadn’t made the sweet potatoes or the potato salad as promised (Dean was beginning to think that anything that had to do with potatoes was going to be Sam’s specialty), and Ellen was fighting with a cranky Gracie, so she and Bobby didn’t even show up until after one. 

“Daddy!” Gracie cried the moment Ellen walked through the door with her. She yanked away from her grandmother’s hand and ran to Dean. He picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Gramma said no cookies for befkist!” The little girl pouted.

“Grandma’s right. We don’t eat cookies for breakfast. After dinner tonight you can have cookies. Guess who’s coming to play with you? Maya! You can cookies with her, ok?” Dean used his most soothing tone as he took his daughter’s coat and hat off. Ellen took them and hung them up.

“Maya gonna eat cookies wif me?” Gracie asked excitedly. Dean laughed at his daughter’s enthusiasm. She really liked Maya, despite the age difference. He suspected that Gracie looked up to the older girl.

“Yes baby girl, Maya’s coming over for Christmas dinner, and to open presents. Remember, we bought her a present? You have to give it to her, but not until after dinner, ok?”

She smiled brightly and nodded.

“I hafta go pee pee, daddy.” She announced. Dean set her down and let her run off to the bathroom.

“I got this.” Ellen said as she followed the little girl. Dean headed into the kitchen where Cas looked like he was about to lose his mind.

“I don’t know how to make a green bean casserole, Dean. Do we even need one? It has fried onions, that’s gross! And mushroom soup? Who eats this crap?” Cas cried as he read over the recipe in his hand.

“Relax. I’ll make the casserole if you wash the potatoes. I’ll make homemade mashed potatoes.” Dean told him. Cas nodded and handed the recipe over before grabbing two ten pound bags of potatoes that someone had left on the counter.

Gabe, Liz, and Nancy showed up just before two with the kids and immediately pitched in. When Sam and Jess finally arrived Dean was happy to see that his brother had made both the dishes he had promised, and Jess had even made a fruit salad. Charlie arrived with her new girlfriend Rita, and they brought wine and a cheese tray that Dean nibbled at as he cooked. Meg and her boyfriend stopped by, though they had only come to drop off presents. Cas gave her the ones they had bought for her and she was on her way again, this time to head over to the boyfriend’s house.

Michael and his family arrived and Cas was impressed with how civil he and Gabe were being. It was clear he had not forgiven Gabe but Gabe knew better than to push the issue, and for the most part he kept his distance.

By the time they were ready to get dinner on the table Dean was pretty sure he was going to lose his mind. The stress of the day was getting to him and Cas could see how it was affecting him. He pulled Dean aside after he had taken the turkey from the oven and set it on the counter.

“Babe, go take a breather. I’ll get the rest of the food on the table. You do not need to do everything. We’re in this 50/50. I’ll do the rest.” He told his husband. Dean wanted to argue but the steely look in Cas’ eyes warned him against it. Instead he took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Ok. Just tell Sam and Ellen to let me be for like twenty minutes. I’m going to go lay down.”

Cas kissed his cheek and nodded, watching as Dean headed for the stairs.

“Where’s he going? We have to get the rest of this stuff on the table.” Ellen complained when she saw Dean leaving. 

“El, we have to have a talk. Come to my studio.” Cas motioned for Ellen to follow him, which she did.

“Is everything ok?” She asked once he had closed the door behind them.

“Everything is fine, but Dean is under a lot of stress right now, and as of late, he isn’t handling it as well as people think he does. Are you aware that Dean suffers from anxiety?” Cas asked her. Ellen frowned.

“He had a few issues as a boy. I thought he got over it though”

“No, he did not. He just got very good at hiding it. They’re getting worse with all this new stress. The house, work, a child, and I made things worse last month pushing for a dog. It sort of tipped him over the edge. He’s getting help, though if he knew that I told you that he would probably castrate me, so please, keep that between you and I. Now that you know though, please don’t coddle him. He hates when people walk on egg shells around him just as much as he hates the stress that causes his anxiety. He’s overwhelmed at the moment so I told him to take a few minutes to himself. There are plenty of people here to help. He won’t be missed for twenty minutes.” Cas said.

Ellen nodded. “I had no idea my sweet boy was going through all that. Did it get worse after his dad died?”

“It got worse right about the time he found out his dad was dying. He’s doing better now, but I don’t want him being pushed over the edge. Christmas is about family and spending time with the people we love. Dean sees it as a time to take care of all of the people he loves and cares about, all at once. I plan to get him to unwind and enjoy himself as much as possible while we’re on vacation. He needs it desperately.” Cas ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“Thank you.” Ellen said suddenly. Cas looked up at her.

“For what?”

“For loving my boy, and taking care of him. He has always tried to be the one taking care of everyone else. It’s about time he had someone to take care of him. I know I probably have said this to you before, but…it’s especially important that you hear that now. He needs you, and I’m so happy that he knows he can depend on you when and if he needs to. I swear you’re an angel coming into his life when you did.” She reached up and pinched his cheek affectionately before pulling him into a hug. He didn’t want to point out the irony in the fact that he had been named after an angel. Or the fact that it felt more like Dean was the angel that came into his life.

They returned to the kitchen where an annoyed looking Sam was basting the turkey one last time before moving it to the table.

“Where the hell is Dean?” He complained.

“I told him to take a break.” Cas said. Sam stopped for a moment, looking at him before nodding.

“Yeah, I think that was actually a good idea. We can handle this.”

Together, with help from others they got everything to the table. While Bobby got everyone seated, Cas went upstairs to get Dean. He knocked softly on the door.

“Come in.”

Cas opened the door and walked in. Dean was spread out on his back, one arm draped over his forehead as he stared at the ceiling.

“Feeling better?” He asked as he crawled across the bed and sat down next to his husband.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I really have to stop trying to control everything.” Dean sighed.

“Hey, that’s what you have me for, to remind you that I am here to carry half that burden. I love you and I’ll always be here for you.” He leaned down to kiss Dean.

“You hungry? Dinner’s on the table and waiting.”

Dean sat up. “Yeah, actually. Munching on cheese wasn’t enough.”

They got up off the bed, linking hands together as they left the bedroom and headed back downstairs. Everyone was sitting around the table chatting happily. The seat at the head of the table had been left empty as had the seat immediately to the right. Cas motioned for Dean to take the seat at the head while he sat down in the other empty seat next to Gabe. 

“Well come on boy, cut the turkey already!” Bobby demanded, and Dean grinned.

“Hold your horses old man, I’m getting to it!”

 

After dinner Gabe initiated the cleanup. He got the kids involved and ordered Cas and Dean to go and relax in the living room. Even Gracie was helping by carrying plastic cups into the kitchen to give to Ellen who was rinsing them before showing the little girl how to load them into the dishwasher. Cas lingered in the kitchen long enough to marvel at his daughter completing a chore he had thought her too young still to do. She was eager to help and it brought a smile to his face.

Dean was sitting on the couch with his legs up on the ottoman texting. He looked up at smiled when Cas came to sit down next to him.

“Jessica and Eric made it home this morning. She was wishing us a Merry Christmas.” Dean said as Cas snuggled up against him.

“Good. Miracle there were no delays.” Cas pulled his legs up under him and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. It didn’t take long before others began to filter into the room. Gracie appeared, climbing up to sit between her dads.

“Imma good girl daddy, papa. I put a disses inna wasser.” She beamed up at them.

“You’re the best sweetheart. I’m very proud of you.” Cas said as he kissed her forehead. She giggled and bounced up and down, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Now is the time to start having her pitch in, before she can argue, and before she becomes lazy. Teach her to toss her dirty clothes in the laundry, how to brush her own hair, how to pick out her own clothes for the next day, or pajamas for that night. And get her to help load the non-sharp items in the dishwasher. She’s a smart girl and eager to help. Take advantage of that, it’ll take a load off your shoulders down the road.” Ellen said as she took a seat next to Cas.

“You’re right. Will you work with her while we’re away? Just let us know what you get her involved in doing so we can continue it when we get home.” Cas told her. She smiled and nodded, looking over at Dean. He was chewing on the inside of one cheek, clearly debating on giving up more control, but eventually he nodded.

“Yeah, it’s good for her to learn responsibilities.” He conceded.

“Right. We don’t want her being one of those selfish, lazy kids we see everywhere nowadays.” Cas said.

“No way do I want her to be a brat like that!” 

“Bat!” Gracie cried and then scrunched up her nose as she smiled. They all laughed at that.

Sam sat down on the floor in front of the tree and to his surprise Maya dropped into his lap. He grinned up at Dean and Cas, and then at Liz and Nancy who were smiling as well.

“She likes you babe.” Jess told him as she sat down next to him. His smile just grew wider as he searched in the enormous pile of gifts for one marked with Maya’s name. He lifted up a package that had Frozen wrapping paper on it.

“Oh, wait, that’s from Gracie to Maya.” Cas turned to his daughter. “Go on and give Maya her present.” He urged.

Gracie slide down from the couch and ran over to take the gift from Sam. She thrust it in Maya’s face and smiled brightly. Maya smiled brightly as she took it.

“Thank you Gracie.” She said.

“Yooooo welcome!” Gracie replied happily before plopping down in Jess’ lap. Jess found a box marked with Gracie’s name and handed it to the little girl so they could open gifts together.

“Oh! Mama! It’s Elsa!” Maya cried as she pulled the box out of the wrapping paper and held it up.

“I see.” Liz nodded, smiling at her daughter.

“Thank you Gracie!” Maya reached over and hugged the other girl.

“It’s a petty Elsa.” Gracie said as Maya pulled the doll from the box. She was running her fingers over the Snow Queen’s hair gently and Gracie pointed to the doll’s dress as she talked.

“She’s very pretty. What’s in your present?” Maya asked, pointing at Gracie’s half unwrapped box. Gracie turned her attention back to it and tore off the rest of the paper off, squealing when she saw the familiar Frozen logo on the box.

“I’m seeing a theme.” Dean whispered in Cas’ ear. Cas snorted and nodded. 

“You expected otherwise?”

Dean laughed and shook his head. He really hadn’t.

The gift exchange lasted a long time with as many gifts as there were under the tree and with each new present Gracie opened Dean was doing a mental rearrangement of her closet, drawers, toy box, and book shelves, until Cas reminded him of the sun porch. There was plenty of space out there for all of her new toys.

“Ok, who bought her Legos?” Cas asked as Gracie opened a box of toddler sized ones.

“Guilty.” Jess said, raising her hand.

“I’m buying your first born a drum set.” Dean threatened. Jess and Sam both laughed at that.

“Dually noted.” Sam said.

By nine Gracie was cranky and whiny, and unwilling to part with the stuffed unicorn Gabe had bought her. They had decided that because Dean and Cas were leaving on their honeymoon in the morning Ellen and Bobby would spend the night, that way Gracie could go to sleep in her own bed. Ellen had promised to help sort through all of Gracie’s new things and get them put away while they were gone. Dean still had mixed feelings about that, but at Cas’ insistence he had relinquished the control to his surrogate mother. He was learning to pick his battles. Cas left to take Gracie up to bed, carrying her and her oversized unicorn upstairs. Dean took the new kitchenware his brother and Jess had given them to the kitchen. Cas was returning to the living room at the same time as Dean and they both gasped when they saw Sam down on one knee in front of Jess. She was in tears as he asked her if she would marry him.

“Oh my God Sam! Yes! Yes I will marry you!” She cried. As he stood up to slip the ring on her finger she pulled him down into a kiss. Cas’ hand found Dean’s and they smiled at one another. This had definitely been the most perfect Christmas either of them could have possibly imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who saw that coming at the end? Not even Dean knew he was going to propose. Surprise!
> 
> By the way, I have now sold 2 books! One copy the beautiful and amazing Monijune bought, and the other my friend of 30 years bought. Come payday Friday I have more friends that plan to buy copies. I hope they do! I'm so excited! I went to visit my mom yesterday and tell her the good news about getting published. I let her read the synopsis (she did NOT know I was writing a romantic thriller between two men) and I expected some sort of negativity but instead she asked if I'd sold any yet and how she could pass the information to her favorite nurse who had promised to buy a copy. She then told everyone that walked in the room that I had published a book, lol. I love my mom. 
> 
> As always, leave a comment, let me know what you all think. I love you guys!


	38. The Chaos before the Honeymoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is trying to keep things flowing smoothly as he and Dean try to get things ready to leave for their honeymoon. The fates have other plans though, starting with a snow fall and Gracie's tumble down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a couple days to get a new chapter out to you guys. Things here are hectic. Tomorrow is our Pride fest and I am volunteering at it and after that, well...hold your horses...
> 
> I have an honest to gosh real DATE. Holy crap!!!! It's my first one in 3 years and I am a jumble of nerves. I'm excited and I'm nervous, and I'm hoping I don't talk too much and freak him out. I either talk too much or not enough when I'm nervous. Eeeek!!!!
> 
> I've also sold 3 books so far, two of them going to some of the beautiful people that I met here on AO3 that became really good friends. Omg I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
> 
> So I hope you enjoy this chapter. Next one will be the honeymoon. I'm aiming for getting it out Sunday but if Saturday's date goes well and he wants to see me Sunday too, I'm going for it, lol. 
> 
> He's 6'4 inches of delicious, funny, sweet, ZOMBIE LOVING man. And he's only 3 years younger than me. Score! Lol! 
> 
> And did I mention he loves Supernatural too?! Ha ha, he's the same height as Sam. That was the first thing I thought. Maybe I'm too deep into the fandom? 
> 
> Nah....
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I'll get the next one to you as soon as possible.

The following morning was threatening to be chaotic and Cas was doing everything in his power to make sure everything ran smoothly. First, it had decided to snow. Not just a little snow, but A LOT. He was just glad it had stopped, otherwise their flight would be delayed. Ellen had called an hour ago to let them know that she couldn’t get her car out of the driveway, Bobby was running the snow blower while she scraped the windows. Cas looked outside and saw that their driveway was covered. Their own cars were staying in the garage while they were out of town, but Ellen would need a place to park, so he trudged down the street to borrow Sam’s snow blower, only to find Sam using it. Sam was their ride to the airport so he waited patiently for him to finish before trudging back up the street with it to clear his own driveway.

After returning the snow blower and going inside, Cas learned that Gracie had tried to sneak past Dean to come downstairs by herself and had fallen down the last few steps. Dean was currently sitting on the bottom step with their little girl in his lap, and she was screaming her head off. Cas knelt down in front of her, feeling his heart starting to race when he saw blood on her lip.

“It’s ok, she bit her lip, but it’s not bad. She’ll be sore for a few days though.” Dean was trying to remain calm for the sake of their child but even Cas felt like freaking out. He got up instead and went to the freezer, fetching one of the popsicles his brother had suggested they keep on hand and carrying it back to Gracie. Her crying was immediately reduced to soft whimpers as she watched her dad tear off the top. He handed it to her and she quickly stuck it in her mouth and started sucking.

“Really? Before breakfast?” Dean asked.

“It’s the stop the swelling she’s going to have in that fat lip. It’s not going to hurt anything. After all that crying she’ll need an early nap.” Cas replied. Dean nodded and carried Gracie into the kitchen. He put her in her high chair but didn’t secure the tray. She sat back with her popsicle, watching the cars pass by outside.

“Gamma here!” She announced a little while later. A minute later the front door open and Ellen came in, attempting to stomp the snow off her boots before she stepped all the way into the house.

“How’s grandma’s angel baby?” Ellen cooed as she walked into the kitchen. When she saw Gracie’s swollen lip she frowned.

“What happened?”

“She shot past me this morning and tried to run down the stairs, except she tripped about three stairs from the bottom and landed on her face.” Dean replied. He looked almost as upset as Gracie had when it had happened.

“Well, they’re ornery at this age. I’ll see about some baby gates to put at the top and bottom of the stairs. I used those with Jo, until she learned to climb over them. She’ll be ok. If she didn’t get a few bumps and bruises I’d think something was wrong with you two as parents.” Ellen teased. She pinched Dean’s cheek as she headed to the fridge.

“She just had that popsicle so far?” 

“I gave it to her for the swelling in her lip.” Cas replied.

“Good. At that age they don’t take well to being held down and having an ice pack applied. That was some quick thinking.”

Cas couldn’t help but preen a little under compliment. Dean, however still looked miserable. Cas wrapped his arms around the man’s waist and kissed his cheek.

“Come on, we have last minute packing to do.”

“No, I made sure we packed everything.” Dean argued. Cas looked at him with one eyebrow raised, a flirtatious smile on his lips. Dean quickly caught on.

“Oh. Did you, uh, pack my board shorts?” He asked, casting a quick glance in Ellen’s direction.

“No, I don’t think I did.” Cas replied as he took Dean’s hand and began pulling him towards the stairs.

“You boys go on now, I know you just want to fool around a bit before you have to sit on a plane. So go on, get out of here so I can feed my granddaughter.” Ellen chuckled as she pushed them both out of the kitchen, and they left laughing.

Up in the bedroom Cas closed the door behind them and pulled Dean into his arms. He didn’t want Dean being upset over what had happened to Gracie. She was alright now. His fingers found their way under Dean’s tee shirt and they traced a pattern down along his happy trail. Dean pushed him back against the wall, cringing for a moment as he realized how hard Cas had bumped against it.

“You ok babe?” He asked.

“I’m fine Dean. Now come here!” Cas pulled him closer and kissed him as he moved their hips together.

“No, this time I want control.” Dean pushed Cas’ hands away and reached down to pull off the Henley Cas was wearing before pulling his own off. They had long ago stopped pretending they didn’t wear one another’s clothes all the time. Cas was thinner, leaner than Dean, so it was usually him stealing Dean’s clothes rather than the other way around, not that Dean minded. It gave him a fierce sense of pride seeing his husband walking around his shirts or sweatpants. In his opinion Cas made anything look good.

He dropped both shirts to the floor, splaying his hands over Cas’ chest as he kissed him with everything he had. When he finally pulled back, Cas was left gasping for air. He grinned up at Dean as he was grabbed by his belt and led over to the bed. Dean pushed him down onto the mattress and climbed on top of him.

“All that effort of getting dressed.” Cas teased.

“Completely pointless.” Dean confirmed.

He brought his mouth to the tender skin of Cas’ neck which he knew drove the man nuts. Tiny nibbles and kisses were showered over his skin, and marks were left behind as reminders, as Dean worked his way down Cas’ chest, stopping to lick and suck at his nipples, playing gently with the rings in them before continuing his way down. He looked up to see Cas was watching him, his breathing starting to become irregular, his eyes lust blown, and it brought him immense satisfaction knowing he had done that to the man.

The moan Cas let out faded into a breathy whimper as Dean pulled his pants and underwear off and a second later he was licking up the underside of his husband’s cock.

“Fuck…” Cas hissed. His fingers wound their way into Dean’s hair, tugging not so lightly as Dean swallowed him down. 

If there was one thing Cas was sure of, it was that he’d never had a partner in bed even half as good as Dean one, and no one gave head like him. He didn’t let the piercing hinder him as he sucked and bobbed his head up and down, hollowing out his cheeks to get the kind of pressure that drive Cas absolutely nuts. It didn’t take long before Cas was crying out as he came, his hot come pulsing its way down Dean’s throat. He collapsed back on the mattress still panting. The sound of a zipper being undone made him lift his head. He grinned at Dean as he watched him kick his own pants off.

“Come here gorgeous.” He pulled Dean up the length of his body until their mouths met. He could taste himself on Dean’s lips as he felt himself becoming aroused again. Dean reached past him into the nightstand to grab the bottle of lube they kept there. He had purchased a brand new bottle for their trip and he was glad he didn’t have to hunt through a bag for it. His hands closed around the familiar shape of the bottle and he yanked it out of the drawer. He was aware of Cas’ eyes on him, following his every movement. It had been a while since Cas had bottomed though he never denied Dean when he wanted to be on top. He doubted that there was very much Cas would ever deny him. That thought took his breath away for a moment and he had to stop and take a deep breath.

“Baby, are you ok?” Cas asked. 

Dean blinked back the tears that threatened to spill and nodded. Were he still a kid under his father’s control, John would have told him to stop acting like such a girl. Cas didn’t look at him as though he were weak when he felt like this. It just made him love the man even more, something he didn’t think was even possible.

“I’m fine. I’m just really freaking in love with you.” He managed to say. Cas laughed and it was like music to his ears.

“Good, considering you married me.” 

Dean grinned and shook his head. It was stupid jokes like this that made his heart swell even further with love. They just fit together so well. He poured lube on his fingers, rubbing them together to move it around before leaning down to kiss Cas again. As his tongue found its way into Cas’ mouth he gently eased the man’s legs apart, and slipped a finger in. Cas moaned, arching his back and Dean took the opportunity to suck at his left nipple. Just below the curve of his pectoral muscle was his name. _Dean_ was written there, in an elegant scroll that matched the rest of Cas’ tattoos, but this particular one was, to him, the most beautiful one of them all. On either side of his name was a Celtic half-moon, as though his very name was cradled close within Cas’ heart. Across his right pec was Gracie’s nickname, the I dotted with a princess crown. Dean had the same tattoo in the same spot on his right pec as well. He pressed a kiss to the tattoo of his name, just as he had done so many times since he’d brought Cas to his friend to get it. As he did, he worked a second finger in and arched them, brushing against Cas’ prostate. The man moaned louder and Dean moved up to swallow it before anyone downstairs heard. He didn’t think they would, but he wasn’t taking any chances. 

Cas was a writhing, panting mess by the time he had three fingers inside of him. He didn’t give him a chance to speak though. He pulled his hand back, grabbing the bottle of lube again and pouring a generous amount on his own throbbing erection. Cas was ready for him with knees raised and he groaned loudly as Dean pressed in, filling him up. 

Dean pulled back until he was almost out and then snapped his hips forward. He knew Cas liked it rough, and he was happy to oblige. His pace increased until Cas was clinging to him and practically screaming his name. He kissed Cas, his soft reminded to keep his voice down reducing the man to a series of low moans and whimpers The friction of their bodies rubbing together and Cas’ cock caught between them, combined with Dean’s precise thrusts against his prostate were enough to send him falling head first over the edge into a second orgasm. His entire body tensed and he let out an involuntary shout. Dean’s own orgasm slammed into him shortly afterwards. He thrust a few more times, shuddering as the last of his orgasm rippled through him before he collapsed, panting on top of Cas.

“Holy shit babe, that was so good!” Cas gasped, still trying to catch his own breath. Dean’s head was lying on his shoulder and it was uncomfortable so he forced himself to move over, dropping face down onto the mattress. Cas sat up and grabbed the box of tissues off the nightstand. He cleaned himself up before forcing Dean to roll over so he could clean him up as well.

“Come on, we need to wash up.” Cas said as he stood up. He pulled Dean to his feet and ushered him into the bathroom where they shared a quick shower.

Back in the bedroom Cas threw his underwear back on before setting about stripping the sheets off the bed. Dean grabbed clean ones and together they remade the bed. Once they were dressed again they grabbed their bags and carried them downstairs. Dean had a checklist on his phone that he was going over, making sure they had everything they were going to need. Cas was carrying a small bag that contained all of his medications and he was grateful for that. They had already spoken with Dean’s therapist regarding his fear of flying and for the sake of the trip she had provided a slightly stronger dose of anti-anxiety medication for the flight there and back. Dean expected to sleep through the flight, and Cas was fine with that. He had brought along a couple of books to pass the time.

Gracie was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, her stuffed unicorn next to her as she placed her baby doll in its tiny cradle when they came down the stairs. She glanced up at her dads when she saw them but was more interested in the bags they were carrying.

“What dat?” She got up and walked over to Dean’s rolling suitcase.

“Daddy and Papa are going bye bye for a few days, remember? Daddy’s going to bring you home a tee shirt and a new toy though.” Dean told her.

Gracie go bye bye?” She asked. She was staring up at him with wide green eyes.

“No, Gracie’s going to stay here with grandma and grandpa, and Uncle Sam and Auntie Jess. Gracie’s going to have a princess tea party with Uncle Sam, remember?” Cas asked. Gracie’s face lit up. Sam had bought her a tea set for Christmas and Liz and Nancy had bought her a couple of princess crowns.

“And grandma’s going to take lots of pictures and video tape that.” Dean said, grinning. Cas snorted hard as he tried not to burst out laughing. His face was turning beet red from the effort.

“You bet your booty I’m videotaping that!” Ellen called out from the kitchen. Cas couldn’t hold it anymore, he just lost it. Gracie laughed too.

“Unca Sam has a booty!” She laughed and then Dean was doubled over in stitches too.

“Oh my God…” He gasped as he clutched his sides. Ellen walked in the room, curious as to what had them laughing like hyenas for Cas was now laughing just as hard.

“What’s so funny?” She asked. With a completely sober expression Gracie repeated herself.

“Unca Sam has a booty.” Ellen let out a laugh and shook her head.

“Everyone has a booty, baby girl. Even daddy and papa.” She told the little girl.

“Papa has a booty?” Gracie asked, a look of shock on her face. It just made everyone laugh even harder.

“Children are an endless source of entertainment. Better than television most of the time.” Ellen said.

Cas wiped tears from his eyes and nodded. “As I am learning.”

Dean sat down on the couch and held out his arms. Gracie ran to him and he scooped her up, setting her down on his knee.

“Now, you’re going to be a good girl for grandma and grandpa, right?” He asked her. She nodded once.

“Right.”

“And you’re going to put your toys away when you’re done, right?”

She looked over at her toys and then back at her father. “Right.”

“Good girl. Daddy loves you princess. I’m going to miss you so much.” He pulled her close, hugging her tiny body and showering her face with kisses. She squealed happily and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I love you daddy.” She whispered before kissing his cheek.

Dean hugged her a little tighter for that.

When she let go she slid down from his lap and ran to Cas.

“I love you papa! Gimme kisses!” She held up her arms and he swung her up in the air before planting a wet one on her cheek. She giggled happily. There was no sound more magical to hear than the sound of their child’s laughter.

“Papa loves you too baby girl.” He placed a softer kiss on her cheek and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

“I gonna give Unca Sammy a pincess cown.” She told him.

“And Uncle Sammy is going to be so pretty! Maybe he’ll let you brush his hair too.” Cas told her. Gracie’s whole face lit up at that.

“Oh, Sam’s going to kill you!” Dean whispered. Cas grinned and cocked one eyebrow mischievously. Dean just laughed and shook his head. 

Gracie went back to playing with her toys which now included a firetruck that was rolling over her baby’s head repeatedly as she made engine noises, while Cas and Dean grabbed a quick breakfast. They were sitting at the kitchen table going over their reservation details when the front door opened.

“Hey everyone.” Sam announced as he took his boots off. 

“Unca Sam! Unca Sam!” Gracie screamed as she ran at her uncle. He caught her and picked her up to kiss her.

“Hey sweetheart.” He was smiling so wide. It still amazed him how much he too had come to love this little girl, and how thoroughly she had stolen his heart.

“We gonna have pincess tea now?” She asked. 

“Later on we are, when Jess gets here.” Sam replied.

“Auntie Jess?” She asked him. His eyes widened and he looked over at his brother and brother in law with an even wider smile.

“Yes, Auntie Jess. When she comes over later we’re going to have princess tea.”

She clapped and bounced in his arms happily.

“I has a fruck. It goes vroom vroom.” She told him.

“Can I see your truck?” He asked. She nodded and squirmed until he set her back on the floor.

“C’mere!” She motioned for him to follow her. Dean got up from the table and walked into the living room to watch them. It brought so much joy to see his brother playing with Gracie with so much ease. He’s been uncomfortable initially around the child, having had little to no experience around children himself, but he quickly adapted to his role as uncle. Dean had no doubts that one day his brother would make a great father himself. Sam was holding the firetruck and listening as Gracie explained what a firetruck did. She reached into the toy box they kept in the living room for her and pulled out a dump truck. She stuck her baby in the back of it and began rolling it around on the floor.

“We should get going. Our flight leaves in two hours and we don’t know how the traffic is going to be.” Cas said as he came up behind Dean. 

“Yeah, ok. Hey Sam? Time to head out.” Dean said. Sam nodded and got up from his spot on the floor.

“Ok, you boys have fun on that beach. I want to see lots of pictures of the two of you.” Ellen said as she kissed them both.

“Absolutely. And we’ll try to video chat each night before Gracie heads to bed.” Cas told her. She nodded.

“She’ll be spoiled rotten, don’t you two worry.”

They got their coats and shoes on, gave Gracie more kisses and hugs before handing her over to Ellen, and headed out the door. It was time for margaritas, sand and sun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gracie is ok, and Dean is prepared for his flight. All is good. They are on their way! Leave a comment, let me know what you guys think of this chapter. I'll respond!


	39. Plane Rides and The Bahamas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas board the plan that is going to take them to The Bahamas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize, it's been a few days since my last post. I've been rather busy. That date Saturday? Yeah, that was an absolute bust. I spent most of Sunday crying over it. It's not fun being demisexual and FINALLY finding someone you can have feelings for, and they just trample all over them. Not happy. I swore of men for eternity, but all of my friends somehow managed to convince me that all men aren't bad, and that I should try again. So I am, this weekend, with someone else. He's nice but what got me is that he has eyes as blue as Misha Collins. No joke! They're THAT blue! So far he's polite, so we'll see if it goes anywhere. So far, I feel absolutely nothing. I guess we'll just have to see. Saturday was our Pride Fest, and it was a blast. I got a new tattoo, the symbol for Pansexual, and I love it. Also got a sweet deal from the guy that did it. If I give him an autographed copy of my book he'll give me a steep discount on my next two tattoos. Sweet!
> 
> I do hope you enjoy this chapter. And extra points to the person that figures out who Cas is talking to on the plane. That isn't just anyone he's talking to, it's one of my favorite authors... ;)

By some miracle, despite the crummy weather, their flight had not been delayed. Right before boarding Dean took his pill and he could feel it just starting to kick in by the time they were finally settled in their seats. With Bobby and Ellen paying all of the wedding costs they were able to splurge for first class. Cas felt it would be more comfortable for Dean, and less crowded. He was right. Dean sat on an aisle seat while Cas sat next to the window with the shade down. He could sense Dean’s anxiety trying to take over and he refused to let it take control. 

“Baby, look at me.” His voice was commanding and Dean, who’s eyes had been closed tight, turned to look at him.

“I love you. We are going to have a fabulous honeymoon and this evening we’re going to go down to the private beach outside our hotel and afterwards you are going to fuck me so hard, you understand me? I don’t want to be able to walk tomorrow.” Cas said firmly. Dean’s eyes widened and darted around.

“Cas! Shh! Don’t say that here!” He hissed. Cas chuckled and took Dean’s hand in his. He kissed the back of it before turning it over and kissing his palm. Dean watched him, his expression of shock fading to one of interest in what his husband was doing.

“I love you Dean. More than anything in the world.” He said before leaning over and kissing Dean. Even though the engines were starting, Dean relaxed into the kiss. When their lips parted he yawned and laid his head on Cas’ shoulder.

“Medicine finally kicking in all the way?” Cas asked as he brought his free hand up to card it through Dean’s dark blonde locks.

“Mmmhmm.” Dean hummed and nodded. His eyes were drifting shut and a minute later Cas heard his breathing even out as he fell asleep. The therapist had warned Cas that this medicine was stronger. Dean’s normal medicine would make him drowsy but nothing like this. He was just glad his husband was comfortable and relaxed. As the plane took off he smiled to himself. His biggest concern for this trip was the flight to and from. He dropped the hand he’s been using to comb through Dean’s hair back to his lap and opened the book that he had sitting there.

“He’s asleep already?” A lady across the aisle asked. Cas looked up and smiled softly.

“He doesn’t do well with planes, so it’s best if he sleeps through it.” Cas replied, smiling politely. She smiled back and nodded.

“I can sympathize. I hate flying.” She said.

“I don’t mind it, personally, but really long ones get to me. Hopefully this one won’t be too bad.” He told her.

“I’ve done this particular flight before. It’s not so bad, and they’ll play a movie here shortly.” She nodded towards Dean. “Are you on your honeymoon?”

Cas smiled wider and nodded. “Yep. We got Married Christmas Eve.”

“Oh, well congratulations to you both. I hope you enjoy every moment of your time in the Bahamas. Do you have a specific destination?”

“We’ll be in Nassau. We know someone from my husband’s work that contacted some of their relatives, so we’ll have a cabin and a private beach. I can’t wait.” He was being honest. Cas couldn’t wait to reach their destination.

“That’s lovely, I’m sure you’ll both have a wonderful time. How did you two meet?” She asked.

Cas ended up setting his book aside and chatting quietly with the woman, whose name he learned was Kelley. She was taking a vacation with her husband whose face was buried in his laptop, ignoring the conversation his wife was having. He learned that she had left her three children at home so that she could have a romantic trip with her husband. He told her how he had met Dean, and how they had figured out they were in love. They talked about their kids and he told her about Gracie’s tumble that morning. She reassured him that kids were much more resilient than one would expect, and that she would be fine by the time they got home.

The trip was pleasant. Cas talked to Kelley about the book Dean had been fooling around with writing, and how he was trying to get his husband to take it more seriously and finish it. Kelley told him that she was a writer and offered a few tips that Cas eagerly wrote down to pass along to Dean when he was awake. The time passed pleasantly and before long they were landing. Dean had slept through the entire flight, and by the time Cas woke him up, the passengers were de-boarding.

“We’re here?” Dean asked, his voice thick with sleep. Cas knew it would be a few hours more before the effects of the medicine completely wore off, but for the moment Dean was calm. That was what they needed, especially since they still had to pick up their rental car and find the cabin. Kelley had gotten up from her seat and patted Cas’ arm.

“It was lovely meeting you Cas. You gentlemen enjoy your honeymoon, and congratulations to you both.” She smiled warmly at them both. Dean looked up at her with wide, unfocused eyes but he managed a head nod and some semblance of a smile. Cas smiled up at her too.

“Thank you Kelley, enjoy your vacation as well.”

She and her husband left and Cas turned to Dean.

“You ready to get off?”

Dean nodded. It felt like he was trying to move under water as he got to his feet. When he swayed Cas caught his elbow and steadied him. Cas grabbed their carry-on bag and stuck his book inside it before slipping an arm through Dean’s to keep him steady as they got off the plane. 

“Why don’t you wait here babe and I’ll go get our bags.” Cas led him to a row of seats that faced the main airport lobby and waited for Dean to sit down. He set the carry-on bag in the man’s lap before leaving to seek out the luggage claim. Dean’s head involuntarily dipped forward and he dozed off again as he waited. When Cas returned he chuckled at how sweet and innocent his husband looked. He hated to wake him up but they needed to get moving.

“Dean, baby? It’s time to go get our car.” He shook Dean’s shoulder gently. 

“S’k. I’m awake.” Dean mumbled as he stretched. He slung the strap for the carry-on over his shoulder and stood up. 

“Can you grab your bag?” Cas asked. Dean nodded and took the handle of the bag. He was glad it was on wheels so that he didn’t have to carry it. With his free hand he reached out and took Cas’ hand. They followed the signs until they found the car rental agency and handed over their information. 

Cas let himself relax more once he had the keys in hand. They went out to the car and loaded the bags into the trunk.

“I can drive.” Dean offered as he yawned.

“Oh no, you’re not driving anywhere until your medicine is completely out of your system. There are a lot of scooters here and if they’re darting in front of cars you might not react fast enough. You can drive us around the island the rest of our time here though.”

Dean frowned but nodded. He knew Cas was right. He climbed into the passenger seat and bucked his seat belt as Cas got behind the wheel. Once they were on the road he realized what Cas had meant. Scooters abounded, darting in and out between cars and he knew he was in no condition to try and navigate that. Instead he let his eyes turn towards the water that they were driving parallel to.

“Babe, I can’t believe that’s the ocean.” He murmured.

“I know, it’s incredible, isn’t it?” Cas couldn’t help but sneak glances now and then at the beautiful blue waters. He couldn’t wait to get down to the beach. 

The cabin turned out to be everything they had expected. The people that owned it, Walter and Helen came down to meet them, congratulating them as they handed over the keys. They provided their phone number and address in case Cas or Dean needed anything, and provided a list of other numbers and addresses, such as the hospital, the grocery stores, bars, and several local attractions. They were immensely grateful for the hospitality. As soon as Walter and Helen were gone, Cas dragged their bags to the bedroom. 

One wall was solid windows with sliding glass doors leading out onto a deck. They had a gorgeous view of the ocean right from that room and Dean was entranced, standing in the doorway with the breeze blowing.

“I can’t believe it’s this warm here when it’s snowing back home. That trips me out.” He said.

“I know, me too. It’ll be a little cooler tonight, we’ll need jackets, but during the day it’s going to be amazing.” Cas said as he stripped out of his clothes. Dean turned around, his eyebrows shooting up when he saw his husband butt naked, searching through one of the bags.

“Eager much?” He teased. Cas looked up, grinning.

“Hell yes!”

Dean laughed and started to strip out of his clothes as well. He accepted the swim trunks Cas gave him before grabbing two of the towels that had been left neatly folded on top of the dresser. They put on their flip flops and headed down to the beach.

The “private” beach turned out to not be as private as they had thought. It was shared with a dozen other cabins along that stretch and there were people milling about, playing in the water and sunbathing like they were. Dean headed down to the water while Cas laid out his towel and flopped down to enjoy the warm sun. He had no idea how long he’d been laying there when a shadow fell across him. Expecting it to be Dean he smiled before opening his eyes. His smile froze when he realized he was looking up at a complete stranger.

“Hi.” The woman greeted him. He gave a short nod.

“Hello.”

“That’s a lot of tattoos.” She was not hiding the fact that she was reading each one. “Who’s Gracie?”

“My daughter. Can I help you?” He asked, slightly perturbed that this stranger was invading his privacy.

“Oh, I’m staying in the next cabin over. I saw you lying here and thought I would come and say hello. My name is Lydia.” She extended a hand which he reluctantly shook.

“Nice to meet you. Now if you’ll excuse me…” He went to lay back down but she suddenly dropped to the sand next to him, stretching out, propped up on her elbows. She was attractive, her tan already a deep bronze that made her tiny white bikini pop against her skin. Her hair was long and lightened from her time in the sun. It was a rich honey color. If he didn’t know any better, he’d have thought she had walked out of a Sports Illustrated magazine. She was also young, probably twenty if he had to take a guess. She had warm brown eyes that were tilted up towards the sky.

“What brings you to The Bahamas?” She asked.

He sighed and pointed to where Dean was wading around in the water.

“I’m on my honeymoon.”

She seemed to look everywhere but at Dean.

“I don’t see…”

Cas chuckled and looked at her, one eyebrow cocked.

“That gorgeous man there in the water is my husband.” 

She looked surprised for a moment.

“Nice. He’s hot. Congratulations.”

“Thank you. I’m very happy.” He laid back down and closed his eyes again.

“Did those hurt to get?” She asked after a few minutes of silence.

“What? My nipple rings?” 

“Yeah.”

He shrugged. “Yes, but it didn’t last too long.”

“I was thinking of getting them done but I wasn’t sure how bad it would hurt.” She said.

“Pain never lasts. Do it if you want to.”

“You got your hips pierced too? Did that hurt?” 

She was nosey. He made a mental note to teach Gracie not to butt into other peoples’ lives like this girl was doing.

“Not as much as my tongue or my nipples.” He replied. Or his dick, but he wasn’t offering up that tidbit of information. He sat up a bit to look out at the water and at his husband. Dean had noticed the girl and was making his way back up to them. Cas smiled as Dean got closer. He wished he had brought a speedo for the man to wear, his body was absolutely amazing.

“Hey.” Dean said as he walked over.

“Hi baby.” Cas said. Dean opened his towel up and spread it out on the other side of Cas. He sat down and Cas leaned over to kiss him.

“Enjoy the water?” Cas asked.

“It’s so warm. You need to swim with me.” Dean said as he pressed soft kisses to Cas’ neck. Cas sat back a bit, jerking a thumb in Lydia’s direction.

“This is Lydia, she’s staying at the next cabin.” His brow furrowed slightly and that told Dean that the man was clearly annoyed with the girl’s intrusion. She actually reached over Cas to offer Dean her hand.

“Hi, I’m guessing you’re Dean?” She asked. Dean raised an eyebrow in question when even Cas looked surprised.

“Uh, yeah.” He replied slowly.

“So that must make you Castiel.” She said to Cas.

“Yes, but I go by Cas usually.” Cas replied. Then it dawned on him, she read their tattoos. His eyes flicked to Dean’s chest and then up to his eyes. Dean nodded, he got it. 

“So what brings you to the Bahamas?” Dean asked her.

“My parents own the cabin. We come down here every winter when my brother and I get home from college. By the way, congratulations on your marriage. Where are you guys from?” 

“Kansas.” Cas replied.

“Oh cool, I’ve never been. I live in Vermont, but we’re originally from California, that’s where my brother and I were born. My sister was the only one born in Vermont.” She was volunteering information that neither man really cared to hear at that moment. 

Someone was calling Lydia’s name.

“That’s my mom. It was nice meeting you guys, I’ll see you later.” She said as she jumped to her feet. She gave a quick wave before taking off down the beach towards a woman in the distance.

“How did you find that one?” Dean asked as he laid down on his towel and closed his eyes. He was still tired thanks to the medication and was quickly dozing off.

“I have no idea. I was sunbathing and she just appeared. I didn’t know how to tell her to leave without seeming rude.” Cas too had laid back down and closed his eyes. He reached a hand out, seeking and finding Dean’s.

“Mmm. I hope she sticks to her part of the beach from now on.” Dean murmured. The sun was setting and his stomach was growling a bit but he was too comfortable to move at the moment.

They laid like that until the sun had fully set and the moon was overhead.

“Dean, look at the stars, it’s amazing.” Cas’ voice was so full of awe that it drew Dean out of his sleep. He looked up into a sky so heavy with stars it took his breath away.

“Wow…I’ve never seen anything like that before, it’s beautiful.”

“Are you hungry? I am. I’d like to find some place outdoors to eat, so we can look up at this.” Cas said. He got to his feet and gathered his blanket up. Dean did the same.

“Yes actually, I am hungry.” Dean said as they started back towards their cabin.

“Good, and then after that we’ll act like real newlyweds that don’t have a child right across the hall.” Cas teased. Dean smacked his butt as they got to the door and laughed.

“Sounds good to me. I like when I don’t have to be quiet.” Dean grabbed Cas from behind before he could get through the door, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his neck. Cas leaned back against him and closed his eyes as Dean’s hands explored his body. It didn’t matter that they were still outside, there were palm trees between every cabin, blocking the view of the deck. Unless someone came up from the beach, no one was going to see anything. Dean’s hand found its way down inside Cas’ swim trunks and he moaned as Dean slowly stroked him.

“Fuck babe…” Cas hissed as Dean sucked a mark into his neck and continued to stroke him. There was a thrill that came with the idea of voyeurism, even if no one was looking. It was the idea that they _could_ be caught that made it exciting. Cas’ knees were threatening to give out as his climax started to build. 

“I’ve got you baby.” Dean’s breath was hot against his skin as an arm tightened around his waist, preventing him from falling. The pace Dean had set for jerking him off was fast, just the way Cas liked it and he could feel Dean’s own erection pressed against his lower back. He pressed back against it, loving the way Dean moaned at the friction. Before he could blow his load all over the deck he stopped Dean’s hand completely.

“I want you, Dean. Come on, we need to find the lube.” Cas’ pants had been pushed down and his cock was hanging heavy and free as he yanked open the sliding glass doors and lunged into the bedroom. Dean quickly followed, barely managing to get the doors closed before Cas was on him, pulling his shorts off and pushing him back towards the bed. When his legs hit it, Dean found himself falling backwards onto the mattress. It was covered in fluffy pillows that cushioned the fall and he looked up grinning at Cas who was shucking his own shorts. As Dean watched Cas went to his bag and began digging in it, searching for the bottle of lube he knew Dean had packed.

“It’s in my bag babe.” Dean said. Cas looked up briefly before switching to the other bag and digging in the side pockets.

“Ah ha!” He cried when his hand closed around the familiar shape. He pulled it out and hurried back to the bed.

“Not going to close the curtains?” Dean asked, his tone playful.

“No, we’ll give anyone silly enough to get close a real show.” Cas motioned for Dean to move up the bed, which he did, and then pushed his legs apart. He wasted no time in getting his fingers slick with lube and pushing the first finger in. Dean moaned and spread his legs wider.

“More babe, I can take it.” Dean begged.

Cas moved up to kiss him. “No sweetheart, I’m not going to risk hurting you. That would ruin the entire trip. I’m taking my time.” Almost as an apology he took one of Dean’s nipples between his teeth, rolling the bud gently as he flicked it with is tongue. Dean cried out and Cas worked a second finger in, slowly stretching him. Dean was so ready that it didn’t take long for Cas to get up to three fingers.

“Enough! Get the fuck inside me already!” Dean growled. It made Cas chuckle and he withdrew his hand in order to reach for the bottle of lube. He poured a generous amount on his hand and worked it over himself before getting in position.

Dean hooked his feet around Cas and pulled him forward, urging him to move faster but Cas pushed back.

“Baby, patience. If we go rough now you’ll hurt for days and that won’t make for a very fun honeymoon. I like taking my time with you. Let me take care of you sweetheart, please.” Cas leaned down, kissing him slowly and Dean allowed himself to relax. He ran his fingers through Cas’ hair as he kissed him deeper. 

Cas took his time, pressing in slowly, swallowing every moan Dean made until he was fully seated inside the man he loved more than anything in the world. Once he knew Dean had adjusted, he began to move. He started off slowly as they continued to kiss, their mouths lazily exploring one another’s, but as he began to feel the heat building in his own belly he increased the speed of his thrusts as he dropped his head to Dean’s shoulder. The harder and faster he thrust, the louder Dean got. He couldn’t help but grin since this was the loudest he had ever heard the man get. It was the biggest turn on, and it moved him to shift the angle of his thrusts until he was brushing that wonderful bundle of nerves every single time. 

When Dean finally came, it was untouched but with so much force that Cas’ ears were actually ringing from the last scream to leave his husband’s lips. Dean’s entire body tensed as it rocketed through him, and it was only a few thrusts later before Cas was falling over the edge with him. 

“I don’t think it’s ever been that intense.” Cas said as he carefully pulled out and collapsed face down onto the bed. Dean was too wiped to even move. He continued to lay on his back with his eyes closed, waiting for his heartbeat to slow down and his breathing to return to normal. All he could manage was a grunt in agreement.

“Come on sweetheart, we need to rinse off before we go to dinner.” Cas forced himself to get up and he helped Dean get to his feet.

“My legs, I can barely feel them.” Dean said with a laugh. 

“I know what you mean.” Cas laughed with him as they headed to the bathroom.

The bathroom was nicer than what they had come across in most American hotels. It had a giant walk in shower with granite floors and walls and a dozen different shower heads that sprayed water with different pressure. Dean was in absolute heaven, as was Cas as they enjoyed a nice, hot shower. When it was finished they dried off and returned to the bedroom to get dressed. Once they were comfortably dressed Cas walked over to Dean and took his hand between both of his own.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked.

“Nothing, just…loving you.” Cas smiled up at him and placed a kiss against his palm. It had become a recent habit of his that Dean had no desire to stop. It cause butterflies to explode in his belly every time Cas kissed him, but ones like this were extra special.

“You’re an old sap, you know that? And you’re not even old yet.” He teased. Cas just smiled and slid his hand into Dean’s.

“Maybe I am, but I know you love it.”

“Yeah, I do.” Dean agreed as they made their way to the door. “Now let’s go get something to eat.”

“Yes, let’s, I’m starving!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment, let me know what you think. I love you guys!


	40. Two Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While walking back from dinner Dean and Cas meet someone that makes them feel like their bond is even more special than it already is.
> 
> Once back in the room Cas treats his husband to a full body massage in order to relax him so he can sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, I know, and I'm sorry for that, but I wanted to give you guys SOMETHING. I hope you enjoy it. :)

“Cas…I ate too much.” Dean moaned as they made their way back to the cabin. They had opted to walk to the nearest town and now Dean was wishing they had driven. He ached from all the food he had eaten and Cas was laughing at him.

“I told you not to have a second piece of rum cake.” 

Dean shot his husband a dirty look as he rubbed at his belly. Cas put his arm around Dean’s waist and leaned in to kiss his cheek as they walked. Despite the late hour people were out and about, enjoying the warm night air. It was only pushing seventy, but that was warm to them and they were comfortable in their light pants and the linen shirts they had chosen to wear in place of their typical tee shirts.

“I just want to go to sleep.” Dean sighed. His tone told Cas that he wasn’t sure he’d be able to.

“How does a hot oil massage sound to help relax you?” He asked. Dean perked up at that.

“Oh yeah? You offering?”

“You know I am.” Cas replied, the twinkle in his eyes told Dean he possibly had more than just a massage in mind. He pulled Cas closer and they shared a kiss as they walked along.

“You are two spirits.” Someone to Dean’s right said. They paused in walking and turned to look and see who was talking.

“Excuse me?” Dean asked.

“It’s a Native American belief that certain people have both the male and female spirit within one body, and they seek out individuals that are the same. Their souls are drawn together. They are not happy without their other half. I can see that in you both.” The woman said. 

Dean looked down at Cas who seemed to be contemplating what she was saying. The woman was not native to The Bahamas. She had long black hair that fell to her waist and dark brown, almost black eyes. They were gentle though, as was the smile on her lips. Her skin, deeply tanned by many years in the sun was a deep bronze color. She had an American accent, and if he had to guess he’d say from one of the Native American tribes. 

“What tribe are you with?” Cas asked her.

“I am Navajo. In my native language it is referred to _nádleehé_. It is natural and beautiful.”

“I like that.” Dean said, smiling. “It sounds like we are soulmates.” 

Cas nodded. “I always thought we were. I never felt whole until I met you.”

The woman smiled. “Because you weren’t until he came into your life.”

“What is your name?” Dean asked.

“Sonjia Mahpiya. And what are your names?” She offered her hand and Cas reached around Dean to be the first to shake it. She then shook Dean’s, offering him a warm smile before turning her attention back to Cas.

“Castiel and Dean Winchester.” He replied.

“Castiel, like the angel?” She asked. He nodded, excited that she knew where his name had originated.

“Yes, exactly!”

“Is it a variation of the traditional spelling?” She had been sitting down, leaning back against a building when she had first seen them, but upon initiating conversation she had stood up and walked over to shake their hands.

“Uh, the nurse at the hospital misspelled my name actually. It was supposed to be Cassiel, but she swapped out the second s for a t. I like Castiel better anyway.” He shrugged.

“As do I. It suits you.” She said.

“Do you live here?” Dean asked. She nodded.

“I do. I like it here. I met a local man here a number of years ago when I was on a trip and we fell in love. We got married and I moved here permanently. He passed away six years ago but…this is my home now. My children are here, so I do not wish to leave.”

“I can understand that. I wouldn’t want to move that far from our daughter either.” He said.

“You have a child together?” She smiled brightly as she asked the question.

“We have a daughter, Gracie. She’s two and a half.” Cas replied.

“Oh, what a wonderful age! So full of wonder and innocence. My children, they’re grown now. I am a grandmother six times over now. I love every one of them as though they were my own.” 

“What has you sitting out here tonight?” Cas asked.

“I went for a walk but got tired and sat down.” She replied.

“Do you need a ride home? I can go and get the car.” He told her. She laughed softly and shook her head.

“No dear one, I enjoy the walk. I will be alright. You enjoy your walk this evening too.” She turned and started walking in the direction from which they had just come from, her gait slow as she limped along. She appeared to be much older than either man had first thought.

“She’s very nice.” Cas said once she had turned a corner and disappeared out of sight.

“Yes, and I like the idea of what she said. I believe I heard the term two spirit before, I just wasn’t exactly sure what it meant.” Dean took his hand and they started walking along again.

“How’s your stomach?” Cas asked as their cabin came into view.

“It’s still desiring a hot oil massage.” Dean’s grin was wicked and it made Cas burst out laughing.

“Oh, I have no doubt of that.”

“Did you really pack massage oils?” Dean asked as they reached the front door. Cas smirked and pulled Dean against him.

“I brought along a lot of things that it’s a miracle I got through customs with.”

The thought made Dean shiver. He hadn’t thought to bring anything except the bottle of lube. What could Cas have possibly brought along? The way his ass currently felt though, he doubted tonight would be the night when he found out. Cas always took wonderful care of him and he knew the man wouldn’t push him if it meant he would hurt too much to do anything for the rest of the trip.

Back in the room Cas began slowing stripping Dean out of his clothes. It was done tenderly, and the love Cas felt for him was almost palpable. He had to admit it, he loved it when Cas showed affection like this. It was the gentle touches, the soft kisses that spoke to Dean’s heart and told him just how loved he really was. Now as he had so many times this year, he gave a silent thank you to his brother and Jess for inviting him to that music fest that day, and for deciding not to sit at home on his ass. He owed thanks to Meg as well for dragging Cas with her that day. Taking the chance and talking to Cas had been the best thing to ever happen to him, besides learning about his daughter and having her come into his life. 

Dean’s shirt and pants were dropped to the floor, leaving him standing there in just his boxer briefs. Cas’ hands slid around the back to cup his ass and squeeze as his lips found Dean’s.

“Lay down on your stomach, gorgeous.” Cas breathed the words against Dean’s mouth. He released his hold and watched as Dean moved over to the bed and flopped face down onto it. There were several things he had picked up for this trip, and a warming massage oil was just one of them. He dug the bottle out from under his clothes where he’d hidden it as a surprise and carried it over to the bed. His own clothes were relegated to the floor, boxers included, and he took great pleasure in removing Dean’s underwear. The two perfect globes of the man’s ass made his dick twitch with want, but this was about Dean, not him, and he wanted to do something nice for his husband to help him relax for bed. 

He uncapped the bottle and poured some of the oil into the small of Dean’s back. Tossing the bottle on the bed next to him, he set to work, kneading the muscles as he worked his way up to Dean’s shoulders and then back down.

“Is that warming or something? It’s pretty hot on my skin.” Dean asked.

“Yes. It’ll help your muscles.” Cas replied. He returned to Dean’s shoulders before gently taking each arm out from under Dean’s head and working out the tension there too. Dean moaned with pleasure as his body slowly relaxed under his husband’s nimble fingers. Cas moved further down on the bed and with a little more oil added, he began to work down his legs, working first on the meat of his thighs before moving down to his calves and then eventually his feet. 

He didn’t know when exactly Dean fell asleep, but it brought a smile to his face. The man he loved was anxiety free, comfortable, and happy. That was, to him, the most beautiful thing in the world. He got up, washed his hands in the bathroom and returned to bed. Shutting the lights off he laid down, curling himself around Dean’s warm body. The soft snores lulling him to sleep. Tomorrow they would have to wash all the bedding after the mess they’d been making, but that was another day. Tonight he just wanted to hold his husband in his arms and forget the rest of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The concept of two spirits is real, though I may have taken slight liberty with the whole seeking each other out part. I thought that just sounded like a nice way of saying they were soulmates. ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Leave a comment, let me know what you think. Love you guys!


	41. Can't Help Falling In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an afternoon spent acting like real tourists and diverting a flirtatious attempt at Dean, they return to their cabin. Dean has something extra special planned tonight for the love of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning in advance, you might need some tissues for this chapter. *Passes virtual box to everyone*
> 
> I have no shame. I was feeling loving and romantic tonight, and so I am making my beautiful boys express it towards one another. 
> 
> Here is the link to the YouTube video that I played on repeat as I wrote this chapter. I love the song to start with, but this particular version, his voice is so sweet, and Tyler Joseph is just absolutely adorable. That goofy little smile at the end of the video is precious. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/6ThQkrXHdh4
> 
> Now...close your eyes and picture Dean (with his sexy Jensen Ackles voice) serenading Cas. Does it give you chills like it does me? Tell me that wouldn't be the sexiest thing in the world. It would be the perfect song for his voice too. Sigh...

Dean woke early the next morning feeling relaxed and refreshed. He had been so comfortable that he hadn’t moved the entire night and when he lifted his head to look over at Cas he found the man curled around him snoring softly. Not wanting to wake the man earlier than he had to, he carefully slid out of his husband’s grasp and got up from the bed. He used the bathroom and then found his swim trunks and towel from yesterday. The sun was already high and the day was warm. He wanted to get in an hour or two of sunbathing before he and Cas went in search of breakfast.

After putting his shorts and flip flops on Dean made his way down to the beach. So far it was empty. He was glad for that as he was in no mood for Lydia. He set his towel out and laid down so that he could bury his toes in the hot sand. He had snagged his cell phone and took a moment to scroll through his texts. Ellen assured him that Gracie was fine and happily tormenting her Uncle Sam and Grandpa Bobby. Sam had sent him a picture of Gracie in a bubble bath and Jess had sent him pictures of Sam having tea with Gracie, complete with tiaras and feather boas. She promised that there were pictures taken with an actual camera too, and he couldn’t wait to blow those up and stick them in a scrapbook for Gracie. There were a few more texts from friends and he weeded through though before setting his phone aside. He stretched out and closed his eyes, content to soak up the sun.

He hadn’t been aware of dozing off until he felt a pair of warm lips pressed lightly to his own. Startled, his eyes flew open and he found himself staring up into the blue eyes he loved so much. Cas smiled and kissed him again.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” He asked.

“I know you don’t like waking up early. I was up so I thought I’d come catch a few rays.” Dean moved and winced. Apparently he’d caught a bit too much sun.

“Honey, you’re burned. Come on inside and I’ll take care of that, ok?” Cas helped him to his feet before gathering up his phone and towel.

“Everything ok back at home?” He asked as they walked back up to the cabin. Cas knew full well Dean would have to check up on Gracie. Hell, he’d already done it a few times himself.

“Yes. Jess got pictures of Sam and Gracie having their princess tea party.” Despite his pain, Dean grinned.

“Oh I have to see that!”

“Check the text Jess sent me.” Dean said as they stepped into the bedroom. He started for the bed but Cas turned him, directing him towards the bathroom.

“You’re taking a cool bath and getting lathered in aloe vera gel babe.” Cas said as he pulled up the text in question. He laughed hard at the sight of Sam in the tiara and boa, a prissy look on his face at having his picture taken. What made it all the better was the cheesy, nose wrinkling, teeth showing grin on their daughter’s face. He loved it!

“That is fantastic. I want to frame that.” Cas said as he set the phone aside and started filling the tub with water.

“Jess took pictures with the camera too.” Dean said as he stripped off his shorts and climbed into the tub.

“What time did you go outside?” Cas asked.

“A little after eight?” Dean settled back, sighing as the cool water washed over his burned skin. Cas had a cup and was pouring water over his shoulders and head. It felt wonderful.

“Then you weren’t out there too long. It’s not even nine yet. Must have been hot enough for you to burn though.”

Dean closed his eyes and laid his head back as he sunk a little lower in the water. All that sun was making him sleepy. He felt a bit nauseous though.

“I don’t feel so good.”

“Too much sun. Take it easy and relax, I’ll go pick us up some breakfast, ok? When I get back we’ll relax on the deck in the shade and if you’re feeling better later we’ll go into town. Tonight I want to go dancing if you’re up for it.” Cas leaned over the tub to kiss his forehead and Dean opened his eyes and smiled up at him.

“Dancing? You know I’ll stomp all over you feet, right?”

Cas laughed and shook his head. “You did fine at our wedding, you’ll do fine tonight. I’ll be back in a half hour or so.” Dean nodded and closed his eyes again. Cas pressed the cup into his hand and Dean accepted it without opening them again.

Another twenty minutes of the nice, cool water was enough and Dean reluctantly got out of the tub. He dried off carefully and returned to the bedroom. Cas still wasn’t back yet but the nausea had passed. His stomach rumbled in anticipation of what might be brought back. He started to smile at the thought but winced at how his cheeks hurt. He found the aloe vera gel and began liberally applying it to every inch of burned skin. Cas had bought a medicated kind and it felt so good on his tender flesh that he sighed with relief. Cas’ bag caught his attention. What had he brought with? He was dying to know. Just as he got up from where he had sat down on the bed to be nosey, the front door opened. Quickly he sat back down and began adding more aloe vera gel. Cas popped his head in the room, one eyebrow rising when he saw Dean sitting naked on the bed.

“Did the bath help?” He asked. Dean nodded as he continued to apply the gel. When he put some on his cheeks he sighed contentedly. 

“This stuff helps a lot. Feels so good.”

“I got the kind that numbs. I think we should cover up most of you when we go out, and put a hat on you so you don’t burn further. We’ll pick up a hat in town. Your sunglasses are in your bag. Put some clothes on and join me on the sun porch for breakfast.” Cas said, disappearing again.

Dean found clean boxer briefs and slipped them on. He added the light, cream colored linen pants he had put on to go out last night and lavender button down shirt that he rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. His sunglasses were in a side pocket along with his sun block, and he grabbed them both. 

By the time be made it to the sun porch Cas had all the food laid out. There was a lot of fruit involved as well as a myriad of other things he couldn’t identify. He was willing to try new things, usually more than Cas was, and as he sat down across from his husband he snagged a chunk of pineapple and popped it in his mouth. It was sweeter and more delicious that the ones they bought back home. As they ate they discussed plans for the day. Cas had found shops he wanted to walk around visiting, and he had a piece of paper with various landmarks written down on it that he showed Dean. They decided on which ones they wanted to see that day and when breakfast was over Cas helped him apply sunblock to his exposed skin. They walked out to the car.

“Do you want to drive or should I?” Cas asked. Dean went around to the passenger side. He didn’t need to be in control here. Besides, Cas was a good driver.

“You know where we’re going, right?” He asked. Cas nodded.

“Then you drive, babe.”

Cas smiled so brightly it made Dean’s heart ache. It was little things like that which made Cas happy, and all he ever wanted to do was make this man happy. They got in the car and Cas drove them into the city, weaving around traffic and the zillion scooters that abounded. When they reached what looked to Dean like an outdoor shopping district, Cas began searching for a parking spot. He found one two blocks away and they started walking.

Dean found a shop with old records and rock memorabilia and Cas knew he wasn’t going to be able to pull the man way until he had looked through it all. Still, he needed a hat so he didn’t get burned further. It was already healing nicely, but it would blister if he continued to expose himself.

“Hey babe, I’m going over to that shop to check out the hats they have, so I can find one that will shade your face and neck. I’ll be right back, ok?” Cas asked. Dean looked up at him and smiled.

“Sure. I’ll be right here.” He watched as Cas wove between more people on scooters as he crossed the street and disappeared into a clothing shop before turning his attention back to the records in front of him. Twenty minutes had passed and Cas still had not returned but he was so engrossed in perusing the records that he hadn’t noticed.

“You like rock music, huh?” 

Dean would have dismissed the voice entirely had the man not been standing close enough to almost be breathing down his neck. He jerked his head up to find a man standing slightly behind him, looking over his shoulder at the records Dean was still flipping through.

“Oh, uh, yeah. I have a collection of them back home. Just looking to see if there’s anything else I can add to it.” He said.

“Same here. I came last year and found a few to add to my own collection. I don’t know where they get this stuff, but some of it’s golden. This bunch here though, you won’t find a whole lot. Ask them about the stuff they keep in the back. That’s where you’ll find ones worth buying.” The man said. Dean turned slightly to get a better look at him.

“I’m Doug.” The man extended his hand.

“Dean.” He took the man’s hand and shook it firmly.

“Come here, there’s a couple of boxes over here that sometimes have some good records.” Doug motioned for Dean to follow him further into the little shop. They walked over to a couple of boxes on the floor, tucked under a table. Doug pulled the boxes forward and began flipping through the records in them. Dean spotted one that he didn’t have and plucked it from the box.

“Good choice. Classic rock is a favorite of mine too.” Doug said approvingly. Dean smiled as he watched Doug continue to flip through records. Two more caught his eye and he pulled them from the box as well. They chatted a bit about their favorite bands as Doug found a couple for himself as well. 

“Well thanks for letting me in on this little secret about he records.” Dean said as he stood back up.

“No problem. Say, would you care to join me for lunch?” Doug asked as he too stood up. He stepped closer, a flirty smile on his lips. Dean took a step back.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m here on my honeymoon.” He held up his left hand where the two rings sat big as day. Doug pursed his lips and looked around.

“Where is she if she’s not shopping in here with you?”

“Geez, can’t leave you along for five minutes and you’re picking up strays.” 

Dean sighed with relief as Cas came walking in, a white hat in one hand and a canvas bag in the other. He handed the hat to Dean who put it on and took Cas’ hand.

“He was buying me a hat so I don’t get any more sunburn.” Dean told Doug. The icy glare Cas was giving to Doug made the man step back.

“I apologize, I had no idea. Well, congratulations to you both. Enjoy your albums Dean.” 

Once Doug had paid for his records and left Cas turned on Dean.

“What the hell was that?”

Dean floundered for a moment. Did Cas really think he’d encouraged the guy?

“I was looking through records! He showed me where these ones were and then he asked me out, I did not flirt with him!” He shot back defensively. Cas burst out laughing, totally throwing Dean off.

“I know babe! I was messing with you. You’re so damn beautiful and nice, I told you, everyone wants you.” He wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist and pulled him close until they were standing chest to chest.

“But you’re mine baby, now and forever.”

Dean relaxed and smiled. “Fuck yeah I am. And you’re mine too, don’t you forget it.”

He kissed Cas before disentangling himself from his husband’s arms and taking the records he wanted up to the front to buy. They walked out of the store hand in hand, and with as hot as the sun was now, Dean was thankful for the hat. It wouldn’t fly back home, except maybe when he worked in the garden in the summer, but here now in the tropical sun it did an excellent job of shading his face and neck.

“Cas? Dean?” 

Both men cringed as they recognized the voice. They turned to see Lydia approaching. She was wearing a powder blue bikini top and a white sarong with white flip flops. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she wore giant sunglasses, but the girl was unmistakable. 

“Hi…Lydia…” Cas greeted, unenthusiastically. 

“What are you guys up to?” She asked.

“Touristy stuff.” Dean replied.

“Oh cool! I’m here shopping with my mom and my brother.”

Cas could almost imagine that she was rolling her eyes behind those huge sunglasses.

“Oh, well you don’t want to lose sight of them. You have a nice afternoon.” Cas tightened his grip on Dean’s hand as he turned to walk away.

“Oh, I see you met Dean.” 

Dean cringed. This was not happening. Even Cas froze and turned around. There was Dough, standing next to Lydia.

“Yeah, they’re staying in the cabin next to us. I met them yesterday.” She said.

“Oh, the couple on their honeymoon that you were talking about.” Doug’s words were directed at his sister. She nodded.

“I told you that already.”

“We have to be going. Have a lovely afternoon Lydia.” Cas said, pointedly ignoring Doug.

“Yeah, sure, you guys too.” She frowned as they turned and left.

“What are the chances?” Dean asked as they moved further into the crowd.

“I think karma has a way of screwing with us. Next thing you know Dick Roman will show up here.” Cas replied dryly.

“Not funny. Don’t joke about that.” Dean elbowed him and Cas grinned.

The rest of the afternoon passed uneventfully. They did more shopping, picking up stuffed animals and dresses for Gracie as well as the promised souvenirs for their family. Cas found a stuffed monkey he wanted to send to Maya and a tee shirt for his nephew. They did lunch down by the pier before heading back to the cabin to drop all of their stuff off.

“I’m going to go for a swim, care to join me?” Cas asked once they were back in their room.

“Actually, not right now. I’m going to go and confirm our dinner reservations. I’ll be back in about an hour or so.” Dean replied.

Cas was already half way undressed and turned to frown at Dean.

“You need to make reservations?”

“I did some research before we came down here. I found a nice restaurant, but I want to check it out in person and make sure they haven’t screwed anything up.” Dean replied.

“But you’ll swim with me later?” Cas asked as he crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist.

“Absolutely babe.” Dean promised as he leaned in to kiss Cas.

“Ok. Look for me out on the beach or in the water when you get back.” Cas said as he turned to remove his pants and underwear. Dean almost didn’t want to leave now that he had the perfect view of Cas’ ass, but he had plans and everything had to work perfectly tonight.

When Dean finally got back to the cabin it was closer to two hours later. He checked the cabin first but there was no sign of Cas so he changed into his swim trunks, applied a new layer of sun block, and headed down to the beach.

Cas was sprawled out on a towel with his eyes closed when Dean finally found him.

“Hi baby.” He said as he sunk to his knees and leaned down to kiss his husband.

“Hey, what took you so long?” Cas asked. There was a bit of annoyance in his voice and Dean had to fight the urge not to smile and really piss the man off. He had plans tonight that were going to put a smile on those lips he loved so much, and twinkle in those baby blues. 

“I had trouble finding the place, and then when I did, they took forever to talk to me. They had a mad lunch rush.” He lied. Cas frowned and Dean was pretty sure he didn’t believe him but he let it slide.

“Want to swim with me?” 

“Dean smiled and nodded. “Yes, I do.”

He got up and pulled Cas to his feet. Together they walked down to the water, hand in hand, wading in up to their chests. The water felt good and Dean’s sunburn was already a bronze that no longer hurt. He was thankful for that. They splashed around and swam until Dean spotted a fin in the distance.

“Oh HELL no!” He swam over to Cas and grabbed him by the hand, practically dragging him out of the water.

“What’s wrong?” Cas cried once they were back on the sand. Dean pointed to where he had seen the fin, just as it came into view again. His eyes widened.

“Oh shit.” Cas shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself.

“It could be a dolphin, but seeing as how I can’t tell the difference from above the water, I’m just going to assume it’s a shark and get out of the water.” Dean said. Cas nodded. Better to be safe than sorry.

After a hot shower Dean got out first, heading to the bedroom. When Cas walked into the room he found that Dean had laid clothes out for him. He hadn’t packed these and didn’t even recognize them.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“Get dressed in them, for me?” Dean was dressed nicely in dark gray dress pants and a white button down that was tucked in. A black belt and matching black sandals completed the semi-formal tropical look. Cas smiled curiously at his husband as he got dressed. Dean had chosen a blue button down and cream dress pants for him and they fit comfortably. He laughed when Dean held a pair of sandals out to him. They were brown and surprisingly comfortable. He went back to the bathroom to try and fix his hair but Dean pulled his hands away.

“Don’t, I like it best when it doesn’t want to be tamed.” He placed a gentle kiss on Cas’ cheek as he took him by the hand.

“You’re being awfully sweet Dean, are you up to something?” Cas asked as they walked out to the car. Dean had insisted on driving tonight and even went so far as to hold the door open for him.

“Maybe I am, maybe not. You’ll just have to wait and see.” Dean winked at him and Cas felt his heart flutter. God he loved this man.

“Uh huh. I’m leaning towards the idea that you are up to something.” Cas said as he put his seatbelt on. Dean just grinned and started the car.

They reached the restaurant twenty minutes later. Dean parked and got out to open Cas’ door for him before he could do it himself. Cas knew better than to argue about it. Clearly Dean had something planned and this was all part of it. Besides, he liked when Dean spoiled him like this. Once they were inside they were actually guided through the restaurant to an outdoor seating area that overlooked the water. The place was pretty full and it caught Cas’ attention that Dean looked quite nervous as he glanced around.

“Dean, whatever you are thinking of doing, you don’t have to do it if it’s going to make you anxious. This is enough already, baby.” Cas placed a hand gently against his husband’s cheek and stroked it gently with his thumb. Dean relaxed, smiling warmly at him.

“I’m fine. Go ahead and order.”

They picked up their menus and discussed the different dishes that were offered. Dean decided on a citrusy fish dish while Cas opted for chicken. They decided on a bottle of wine and were on their second glass each when the food arrived. It was delicious and they ended up swapping forkfuls as they laughed and talked. When they were done eating they ordered dessert and Dean excused himself to use the bathroom. Cas looked out over the water, watching as the tide came in and gentle waves crashed against the shore. This was like heaven on earth and a part of him wanted to stay here forever with Dean. This was like their own personal slice of it. When he heard music starting up he smiled and turned, expecting the Bahamian version of a Mariachi band but instead he found Dean approaching, a guitar slung across his chest, the soft chords of a familiar tune filling the night air. Other patrons paused in their meals to look over at him as he made his way back to their table.

“What’s this?” Cas asked, his entire face lighting up at the sight of Dean playing the guitar.

“I made you a promise back when we first started dating. I had invited you over and I fully intended to play for you, but I got nervous. I’m not half the musician you are, but it was either that night or shortly thereafter that I found myself alone in my room, and this song came to mind. I just couldn’t get it out of my head, and it expressed everything that I knew I already felt about you. I was already in love with you, Cas, though my head tried to deny it at first. My heart already knew. So, tonight I wanted to keep that promise to you, and sing this song because it’s exactly how I feel about you. I love you baby, so very, very much.”

Dean strummed out another few chords before winding his way back to the beginning. He began to sing:

_Wise men say only fools rush in_  
but I can't help falling in love with you  
Shall I stay  
would it be a sin  
If I can't help falling in love with you 

_Like a river flows surely to the sea_  
Darling so it goes  
some things are meant to be  
take my hand, take my whole life too  
for I can't help falling in love with you 

_Like a river flows surely to the sea_  
Darling so it goes  
some things are meant to be  
take my hand, take my whole life too  
for I can't help falling in love with you  
for I can't help falling in love with you 

 

His eyes never left Cas’ as he sang, his voice wavering a bit in the beginning out of sheer nerves, but as the song continued his confidence grew. His voice was rich and smooth and he smiled down at his husband as he sang each note, imprinting them forever on Cas’ heart. When the song came to is end and the last note played, the patio erupted in applause. Dean jumped in surprise and looked around for a moment before bringing his attention back to Cas. Cas’ eyes were filled with tears as he stood up, pushing the guitar out of the way so that he could wrap his arms around Dean’s neck.

“Baby, that’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me. Your voice…it’s so amazing. Oh God, please, just hold me for a moment.” Cas begged. Dean chuckled and wrapped his arms around the smaller man, hugging him tight. 

“I love you baby, so, so much.” Dean murmured against his cheek.

“I know Dean. I know you do, and I love you too.” 

Dean didn’t expect the waterworks to suddenly explode, but they did, and Cas was sobbing in his arms. He held him tighter, rocking him gently as he rubbed his back and whispered words of love in his ear. When Cas finally got his emotions under control Dean guided him back to his seat. A woman sitting across the main aisle walked over and slipped something into Dean’s hand.

“What’s that?” Cas asked as he wiped at his eyes.

“My phone. I came asked her earlier if she could record that for me.” Dean replied as he pulled up the video. He smiled at how clear it was. It caught every single emotion that flickered across Cas’ face, from his initial surprise to the absolute delight that came the moment Dean had begun to sing. Cas took the phone from him and forwarded the video to himself. That was something he wanted to keep forever.

“Where did you get the guitar?” Cas asked when Dean slipped the strap over his shoulder and leaned it against his chair as he sat back down.

“I rented it. I have to return it tomorrow.”

“Is that what took you so long this afternoon?” Cas asked, unable to hide his smile.

“Yes. I wanted to make sure it was all perfect.” Dean reached across the table to take his husband’s hand, and Cas did so eagerly.

“Sweetheart this entire night has been absolutely perfect. Thank you.”

Dean beamed at the compliment. “I needed you to know that every time I look at you, that song…it plays on repeat in my head. It’s exactly how I feel about you. I just love you so much.”

“The song, it’s perfect. It just might be my favorite from now on.” Cas told him. He couldn’t stop smiling, the stupid grin was starting to make his face ache, but he was happier in that moment than he’d ever been in his entire life, save for the moment he and Dean had exchanged their vows.

Their dessert arrived and they shared bites of each other’s, just as they had with dinner. When the meal was over Dean paid and they stood up to leave. He grabbed the guitar as they headed back inside.

“Dean?” 

“Yes baby?”

“Will you play something else for me tonight?” Cas asked.

Dean smiled and kissed Cas gently on the temple.

“Of course sweetheart, anything you want.”

Cas could definitely get used to being serenaded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed that. I'm thinking this entire story, from start to finish, with some editing would make a fantastic book. :) What do you all think?
> 
> Let me know in the comments how you liked this chapter. Did you end up crying? I got choked up a bit as I wrote the dinner scene. How could I not?


	42. It's Time For a Princess Tea Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes a break in the honeymoon to come back to the house where Sam shows up at the house and gets wrangled into a princess tea party with his niece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize that the chapter is so short. I'll make the next one longer!

“Ellen!”

She came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a dish towel.

“Hey baby, what are you doing over here?” She asked.

“The storm knocked out the power all down Main street. They have no idea when it’ll get fixed and the building was getting really cold, so they send us all home.” Sam replied.

“Well, shoot. I know you had an important case you were working on this week.” She tossed the dish towel over her shoulder and put her hands on her hips. He held up the bag with his laptop.

“I’ll be working on it from home.” He replied.

“What brings you over here?” She asked. Sam smiled sheepishly.

“Jess is at work and I kind of didn’t want to be alone at home. Thought I’d come play with my niece.”

“She’s out there.” Ellen nodded towards the sun porch. Dean had gone to extra measures to insulate the space so she could play out there all year. Sam set his bag on the couch and then passed through the kitchen and out onto the sun porch. Gracie had a crayon in each hand and was drawing circles on her drawing paper when he walked in.

“Hi Unca Sam!” She said happily.

“Hey monkey, what are you doing there?” He nodded towards the paper.

“I make a pee-chure for gamma.” She stepped back and tilted her head as she observed her artwork. Even though Cas was not biologically Gracie’s father he saw more and more of the man’s mannerisms in his niece and it never ceased to make him smile. She was as much a part of Cas now as she was Dean.

“It’s very pretty. Are you going to add flowers? Grandma loves flowers.” He squatted down next to her and picked out a purple crayon. “Grandma’s favorite color is purple.” 

Gracie’s face lit up. “Is my favit color!”

Sam chuckled as she exchanged the yellow crayon for the purple one. He watched as she made a series of small, purple circles along the bottom of the paper. For only being two and a half she was surprisingly good at drawing. Most of the time he could interpret what was in the pictures she created. After drawing the purple circles she picked up a green crayon and began scribbling along the bottom of the paper. It was grass, he realized. She knew that flowers grew in dirt and grass. When she was finished she stepped back and smiled.

“Is petty Unca Sam.” She dropped the crayon into the basin under the easel where the rest of them were and tore the paper off the roll. She ran into the kitchen with her uncle following after her.

“Gamma! Gamma! I made a pee-chure for you!” She waved it in the air until Ellen accepted it.

“Oh, baby girl, this is beautiful! I love it!” Ellen gushed. Gracie squealed in delight and skipped around in a circle. Sam came back to the kitchen and watched the little girl with a smile on his face.

“She’s pretty good for only being two, isn’t she?”

Ellen nodded as she attached the picture to the fridge with magnets. “She’s a Winchester, of course she’s talented.” Sam chuckled at that.

“Is time a tea party?” Gracie suddenly asked, craning her head back to look up at her uncle.

“You want to have a tea party now?” 

She nodded. “Uh huh. Is a pincess tea party.” 

“A what now? Princess tea party? But I’m not a princess.” Sam laughed.

“Papa say Unca Sam a petty pincess. Imma give you a cown.” Gracie raced to her toy box and dug around until she pulled out her crowns.

“What the…” Sam looked up at Ellen with a mixture of worry and embarrassment when he saw his niece return with the crowns, feather boas, a Cinderella dress for herself, and the tea set. It took her three trips to bring it all over to her uncle.

“I have to wear a crown?” Sam asked. Gracie’s expression turned grave as she nodded.

“You petty pincess. Petty princesses wear cowns.” She explained.

Sam fought the urge to groan and put on his best smile for the little girl.

“Yay, time for a tea party.” He followed Gracie over to her little plastic table where she directed him to sit down. She wrapped a hot pink feather boa around his neck before setting a crown upon his head.

“So petty Unca Sam!” Gracie declared, grinning wide. Sam couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Ok, put yours on now.” He helped her into the dress which was just a Halloween costume Cas had picked up second hand, and a size too big, so it slid on easily over her clothes. He placed the crown upon her golden locks and sat back smiling.

“You’re beautiful Gracie.” 

She beamed up at him before turning to take her little plastic tea set out of its box and set the table. Ellen appeared and took the tea pot from her.

“That’s a good look on you, sugar.” She said to Sam.

“Bite me!” He mouthed the words so Gracie wouldn’t hear but Ellen grinned and laughed her way back to the kitchen. She returned with the tea pot and a plate of cookies. Gracie was busy setting her unicorn and a couple of other stuffed animals around the table, just like Cas had taught her. When she spotted her grandmother with the tea pot she clapped excitedly.

“Oh! Is tea!”

Sam looked up at Ellen who just shook her head. It was water but to a two year old, it was tea. Ellen set the pot on the table and Gracie sat down in her own chair.

For the next half hour Sam had a delightful tea party with his niece where he learned the names of all her stuffed animals, and how a princess is supposed to drink her tea. He didn’t notice when Jess arrived, slipping silently into the room to witness the bonding between uncle and niece. He was also blissfully unaware of Ellen videotaping the entire thing, and Jess snapping dozens of pictures. It was Gracie that spotted Jess first.

“Auntie Jess!” She cried and ran over, hugging the woman. Jess’ eyes lit up at the familial term. 

“Hi sweetie, are you having fun with Uncle Sam?” She asked.

“We princesses. I have tea!” Gracie exclaimed.

“I see that. Does Uncle Sam like his tea?” Jess asked. Gracie looked over at her uncle who smiled and nodded.

“Yes.” The little girl declared.

“Well good. You go on back and finish your party. I’m going to talk to grandma.” Jess told her. Gracie raced back to the table and sat back down. 

“Tell me that’s not the cutest doggone thing you’ve ever seen.” Ellen said, leaning close so only Jess could hear her.

“It really is. I love seeing Sam like this. He’s going to make a great father someday.” Jess sighed happily.

“I agree. He’s getting his practice in now, and trust me, he needs it. Dean took care of him when they were kids. I’m not sure how much Sam told you, or how much he even really knew. He was pretty oblivious to a lot of the abuse. But he loves being an uncle, that much is obvious. Someday he’ll make an amazing father too.” Ellen looked fondly on the man she loved like her own flesh and blood. 

“I think you’re right, he’ll make a great dad one day. We’re not in any rush though. He’s trying to lock in a partnership and I’m trying to get off the night shift. And then there’s the wedding. I haven’t even started planning that yet!” Jess sighed.

“Charlie will help you. So will Dean and Cas. Me too. You’re not alone, darlin.” Ellen patted her arm. Jess snapped another picture as Gracie took Sam’s crown off and combed her fingers through the man’s hair. Not too many people got the privilege of touching Sam Winchester’s hair, but it was clear this little girl had him by the heart. One day she hoped to see him having tea parties and playing dress up with their own kids. Until then she was going to take as many pictures as possible of him with Gracie. With a snicker she forwarded the pictures to Dean and Cas. Dean was never going to let his brother live this down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all got a kick out of that. Can you picture all 6 ft 4 inches of Sam Winchest crammed onto a little plastic chair with a hot pink feather boa and a sparkly crown on his head as he sips tea from a tiny tea cup? So freaking CUTE!
> 
> Anyway, leave a comment, you all know I love them. :) And I love you guys!


	43. Never Tear Us Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did not forget about you guys!!!! I was completing the editing on the next book I'm publishing this coming week!
> 
> After returning to their room Cas asks Dean to sing him something else. 
> 
>  
> 
> ********WARNING************
> 
> Triggers for inappropriate touching, without permission, and severe panic attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you all like this chapter. I'll be working on the next one while I wait for my book to finish getting proof read. 
> 
> Extra points if you figure out who originally sang the song in this chapter. ;)

“You need to do that more often.” Cas said as they got back to their cabin. Dean opened the sliding door and waited for Cas to enter before following him inside.

“Do what more often?” Dean asked as he closed the door behind them.

“Sing for me. Your voice is amazing. Since we’ve been together you haven’t performed live at all, and you don’t even really sing around the house much. I love your voice.” Cas gently lifted the guitar from Dean’s hand and set it aside. He pulled Dean into his arms and kissed him.

“Mmmm, if I get kissed like this each time I sing, I might never stop.” Dean smiled and kissed Cas again.

“You don’t need to sing to get me to kiss you like this, but it doesn’t hurt.” Cas grinned and kissed him deeply. Dean wrapped him in his arms and held him close.

“I know I totally should have done that ages ago, but I got this idea in my head of doing it either at our reception or on our honeymoon. I went for the honeymoon because it stressed me out too much to think of our family and friends seeing me sing to you. That was a lot of pressure that I just wasn’t ready for. It was easier with strangers. But I promise to sing more often for you at home.” 

“Good. Will you play something for me now?” Cas pulled away and grabbed the guitar again.

“You like my singing that much?” Dean laughed as he accepted the instrument back. There was a wicker chair in the corner and he motioned for Cas to sit down, which the man quickly obliged.

“Yes, I really do. Your voice is so sexy. Had I stopped in The Roadhouse on a night you were performing, trust me, I’d have stuck around for the entire show and then made a point of meeting you afterwards.” Cas said as he sat back and got comfortable. Dean moved over to the edge of the bed and sat down.

“Have anything in mind that you wanted to hear?”

Cas thought for a moment. There were so many songs out there, he just needed to settle on one. He was in the mood still for something romantic but he couldn’t settle on just one song. Before he could think one up, Dean started strumming on the guitar. He cocked his head, listening to the music. Dean smiled and winked at him before he started to sing.

_“Don't ask me_  
What you know is true  
Don't have to tell you  
I love your precious heart” 

Cas sat forward a smile growing on his lips as he realized he knew what song Dean was singing. Dean smiled back as he continued singing:

_“I_  
I was standing  
You were there  
Two worlds collided  
And they could never tear us apart 

_We could live_  
For a thousand years  
But if I hurt you  
I'd make wine from your tears 

_I told you_  
That we could fly  
'Cause we all have wings  
But some of us don't know why 

_I_  
I was standing  
You were there  
Two worlds collided  
And they could never ever tear us apart” 

As the last chord faded away Cas slid off the chair, dropping to his knees and crawling over to where Dean sat. He placed his arms on his husband’s thighs and looked up at him.

“How the hell do you manage to do that?” Cas asked, his voice catching as he tried not to cry for a second time that night. Dean set the guitar aside and pulled Cas up into his lap so that the man was straddling him.

“It just felt like the right one to sing.” Dean told him between each soft kiss he placed on Cas’ cheeks.

“You’re such a sap.” Cas laughed.

“I was never the one in denial..” Dean grinned and hugged him closer as he buried his face in his husband’s neck. Nothing felt better than holding the man he loved close like this.

Cas rested his head on Dean’s shoulder, content just to be held and loved. “You’re right. Please don’t ever change.”

A knock on the sliding door made them both jump. Cas turned to look, frowning when he saw Doug standing there.

“What the hell does he want?” Dean said through gritted teeth.

“What I want to know is why he came to our bedroom door instead of the front door.” Cas said as he got up from Dean’s lap. He walked to the door and opened it just enough so he could hear what Doug had to say.

“Can I help you?” Cas asked.

“Uh, I came by to invite you guys to the bonfire tonight. All the neighbors are invited.” Doug looked past Cas at Dean who had picked the guitar back up and was strumming softly on it again.

“We’ll think about it.” Cas said, his voice tight. 

“Ok, and you don’t have to bring anything, but if he wants to bring the guitar, that would be awesome.”

Doug’s eyes never went back to Cas as he spoke which further irritated the man.

“Sure, _if_ we come. And Doug?” Cas cocked an eyebrow, waiting for the man to look at him again. Doug had to practically tear his eyes away from Dean in order to look at him.

“Yeah?”

“Do us a favor? Next time use the front door. I don’t need the neighbors catching me having sex with my husband.” Cas shut the door before Doug could respond and this time pulled the curtains closed. He turned to look at Dean with his hands on his hips.

“He’s obnoxious, you know that?”

Dean stopped playing and looked up. “What did he want?”

“He invited us to a bonfire.” Cas replied.

“Oh. That might be nice. Do you want to go?” Dean asked.

“You didn’t see him staring at you like he wanted to jump you, even with me standing right there?” Cas countered, his temper rising.

“He can stare all he wants, I’m yours and you know it. He just wants what he can’t have. He’d be sorely out of luck even if I wasn’t with you. So put your jealousy in check babe, you’re the only man for me.” Dean said. Cas sighed and walked back over to the bed. Dean put the guitar aside for a second time and pulled his husband back down into his lap.

“I love you, only you, and it will only ever be you, so you have nothing to be jealous of.” Dean murmured the words softly against Cas’ neck as he kissed the skin there. Cas let out a quiet moan and melted against him.

“I know. I can’t help it though when assholes like Doug come along. He can see the wedding ring on your finger and he still feels like challenging me. You’re so beautiful Dean, inside and out. Everyone sees it.”

“What is there to challenge? I married the only man I’ll ever love.” Dean unbuttoned Cas’ shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. He ran his hands over the smooth planes of his husband’s chest before gripping Cas’ hips and jerking him forward and grinding against him.

“Shit!” Cas hissed as Dean sucked at one of his nipple rings, running his tongue in circles around the quickly hardening little nub.

“I’m going to show you just how much I love you. Right now.” Dean undid the button and zipper on Cas’ pants before the man could even register what was happening. Suddenly he found himself flat on his back on the mattress staring up into lust blown green eyes as Dean crawled up the bed and grabbed a hold of his pants. One good yank and they were on the floor with his shirt. 

Moments like this when Dean suddenly wanted control he found to be the biggest turn on, and he allowed Dean to maneuver him the way he wanted and do as he pleased. Right now, Dean apparently wanted Cas’ cock in his mouth because he slid off the boxers he was wearing and a second later Cas was left gasping as Dean swallowed him whole. Slowly he moved, lifting up and sliding back down, his lips and tongue working a magic that had him seeing stars. Dean’s tongue swirled around the head when he pulled off and then he sunk back down again. Cas cried out and grabbed at the sheets, hanging on for dear life as Dean brought him right to the edge of bliss, and then sent him tumbling over the edge. 

The orgasm was so intense it made Cas’ toes actually curl. Dean worked him through it, green eyes locked on his blue ones as he swallowed every drop. He combed his fingers through Dean’s hair as he bobbed his head a few more times, making sure he hadn’t missed a single drop. 

“That was wonderful, Dean. Come here.” Cas tugged lightly at Dean’s hair until he moved up the bed to lay down next to him. He leaned over, kissing his husband and groaning when he tasted himself on the man’s lips.

“God that’s hot.” He murmured as he found the buttons on Dean’s shirt and began undoing them. Dean stayed his hand.

“No baby, we’ll go to the bonfire now, but when we get back here, your ass is mine.” 

Cas huffed out a complaint and stuck out his lower lip in a pout. Dean leaned in to nip at it playfully.

“Come on gorgeous.” Dean hauled Cas up and helped him get dressed again. Once they were ready he grabbed the guitar.

“You’re sitting with me, not near that douchebag.” Cas said as he grabbed a blanket. Dean flashed one of his killer smiles as they headed for the door.

“Like I’d want to sit anywhere else.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They walked down the beach towards the fire they could see burning. It was huge and there were a dozen or so people sitting around it.

“Cas! Dean!” Lydia cried when they reached the crowd.

“Hey.” Cas smiled and nodded at her. He was busy scanning the crowd, looking for Doug. The man didn’t appear to be one of the faces sitting around the fire. They found a spot and set their blanket down. Dean was busy greeting the various people. A woman in a dark blue sundress approached Cas.

“Hello, my name is Priscilla. I’m Doug and Lydia’s mom.” She offered her hand and Cas shook it. “That man adding more wood to the fire is my husband Terry. Lydia told me she had met you. How are you enjoying your honeymoon?”

Cas shook her hand. “We’re having a wonderful time. The country is beautiful and the water is surprisingly warm for this time of year.”

“We come here at least once a year, sometimes twice but now that Lydia’s in college we don’t get to see her nearly as much as we used to. She’s home for Christmas break so we grabbed Doug and came down as a family.” 

“I can understand the need to want your family to have time together. Our daughter is still little but I still have a fear that she’s going to grow up, move away and forget he dads.” He admitted. She smiled warmly at him.

“Oh honey, they never forget, but sometimes they get so wrapped up in their lives that they need a reminder. Hence the reason we make time for one another as a family. You should take a family vacation at least once a year so she has the memories. They’ll be ones she cherishes for the rest of her life.”

Cas smiled and nodded. “I really like that idea.”

“Introduce me to your husband, I’d love to meet the man that stole your heart.” She nodded towards Dean. Cas chuckled and led her over. 

“Babe?”

Dean turned around, putting on his most charming smile when he saw Cas wasn’t alone.

“This is Priscilla, Lydia and Doug’s mother. Priscilla, this is my husband, Dean.”

The relaxed smile on Cas’ face told Dean that he liked this woman much better than he did her children. He offered his hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Priscilla.”

“Pleasure’s all mine. Congratulations, by the way. So, what do you both do for a living?”

They discussed Dean’s teaching job and Cas’ studies as well as his plans to teach children how to play instruments. She was impressed by his ability to play so many instruments.

“You were in an orchestra? It wasn’t one that played in New York this summer for the mayor’s ball, was it?” She asked.

“Actually, yes, that was us.” Cas confirmed.

“Oh! Then I did see you perform! It was a wonderful performance! I did notice you on the cello, though from that distance I’d have never recognized you.” She admitted.

They continued to talk until Cas noticed Doug come out of the house, a cooler in his hands. Priscilla noticed where he was staring.

“Oh, good! Drinks!”

It didn’t take Doug long to notice Cas and in the light of the bonfire the man’s eyes lit up as he spotted Dean. Realizing how tense Cas was, Dean leaned in, pressing soft kisses to his neck.

“Relax baby.” Dean whispered. Cas tilted his head, letting Dean kiss his shoulder as they watched more people coming down the beach to join.

“Come on.” Dean took Cas by the hand and led him to their blanket. Cas sat down, opening his legs so Dean could sit between them and lean back against him.

“You play guitar?” Lydia asked.

“Yep, we both do. Cas here has a band.” Dean replied.

“That’s so cool!” Lydia gushed. She moved closer. “What were you planning to play?”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know, would the Beach Boys be too cliché considering we’re sitting on a beach?” He grinned and she burst out laughing.

“Maybe, but whatever you play I bet it will be awesome.” She said. Dean leaned his head back against Cas’ shoulder and turned to look up at him.

“What do you suggest babe?”

Cas tugged unconsciously at his lip ring as he thought.

“How about Happy?”

Dean huffed out a laugh. “Seriously?”

Cas shrugged. “It’s a happy song, and if you get everyone else clapping along, they’ll enjoy it more. How about you play, I sing?”

Dean considered that for a moment. “Ok, yeah. It’s a fun song anyway.”

He sat up a bit and began strumming out the right chords. Cas took a deep breath, counted the beats and started to sing:

_"It might seem crazy what I'm about to say_  
Sunshine she's here, you can take a break  
I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space  
With the air, like I don't care baby by the way 

_Uh_

_Because I'm happy_  
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof  
Because I'm happy  
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth  
Because I'm happy  
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you  
Because I'm happy  
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do 

_Here come bad news talking this and that, yeah,_  
Well, give me all you got, and don't hold it back, yeah,  
Well, I should probably warn you I'll be just fine, yeah,  
No offense to you, don't waste your time  
Here's why 

_Hey_  
Go  
Uh 

_Happy_  
Bring me down  
Can't nothing  
Bring me down  
My level's too high  
Bring me down  
Can't nothing  
Bring me down  
I said (let me tell you now)  
Bring me down  
Can't nothing  
Bring me down  
My level's too high  
Bring me down  
Can't nothing  
Bring me down  
I said 

_Hey_  
Go  
Uh 

_Happy_  
Bring me down... can't nothing...  
Bring me down... my level's too high...  
Bring me down... can't nothing...  
Bring me down, I said (let me tell you now) 

_Hey  
C'mon"_

By the end of the song everyone was singing and clapping along and when the last chord faded away the crowd erupted in applause.

“That was fantastic!” Lydia gushed.

Cas grinned and nodded. “Thank you.”

“Do you take requests?” Doug asked. Again his eyes were locked on Dean. Cas bristled but he refused to let the asshole get under his skin. 

“If we know the song, sure.” He replied. Dean nodded in agreement.

“I’m not the only one, by Sam Smith?” Doug asked.

Cas felt Dean stiffen this time, though he knew his husband well enough to know that his expression was staying neutral.

“Nah, I don’t know that one.” Dean said.

“Me either. Is it a love song?” Cas asked. He knew the song but he wasn’t going to admit it if Dean wasn’t.

“No, not a love song.” Doug replied. For the briefest moment the man sneered.

“How about something romantic?” Lydia asked.

“Romantic we can do.” Cas agreed.

“Oh, what about Ed Sheeran’s Thinking out loud?” She clapped her hands excitedly.

“That was the song we had our first dance as a married couple to.” Cas said. “We can do that one. What do you say babe, you play, I sing? Or other way around?” 

Dean leaned back to kiss his cheek. “I’ll play, you sing this one better anyway.”

As deep as Cas’ voice was when he spoke, his singing voice was quite a bit higher and as he sang, Dean couldn’t help thinking that he could give Ed a run for his money with his own song. He loved listening to Cas sing. 

To their delight several couples got up and began dancing along to the music, and it brought a smile to both of their faces. When the song ended the clapping was even louder.

“Let’s hear Dean sing.” Doug said.

“Sure. This song I sung to him earlier tonight. It’s the song that plays in my head every time I look at him. It’s how I feel about him.” Dean began strumming on the guitar and gauging by the look of barely suppressed rage on Doug’s face, he knew Cas must be absolutely beaming behind him. This time he put even more emotion into the words as he sang them, turning a bit to look up at his husband. When the song ended he pursed his lips, asking for a kiss that Cas gladly gave.

“I’m never going to tire of hearing you sing that to me.” Cas sighed happily.

“That’s a beautiful song, very fitting too.” Lydia agreed.

Several more songs were requested and Dean finally handed the guitar off the Cas so he could grab them a couple beers. He got up and walked over to the cooler.

“You have an amazing voice.” 

Dean hadn’t realized Doug was over here. He almost dropped the bottles he had just picked up.

“Oh, thanks. I don’t sing nearly as well as Cas though.”

“I’d beg to differ. Your voice is deeper… _sexier_.” Doug argued.

Dean was getting tired of Doug’s flirting but he was loathe to be rude. He could feel his anxiety starting to pick up. 

“Look, I don’t know what you think you’re doing but I am a very happily married man. This flirting thing you’re doing? Stop it.”

Doug frowned for a second before smiling and to Dean’s surprise, stepping closer. He reached out and before Dean knew it was even happening Doug had a hand between his legs, caressing him through the thin material of his pants. “You sure about that?” His tone was low, seductive, and Dean needed to get away. He dropped the bottles into the sand and jumped back so fast he nearly fell.

“No, no, no! Cas!” His chest was getting tight and he found it difficult to breathe. Never before had someone touched him like that against his will, and his anxiety increased tenfold almost instantly. His vision was beginning to narrow and he staggered as he tried to stay on his feet.

The music stopped immediately and Cas was at his side a moment later. “What’s the matter?”

Doug had taken a few steps back. “Nothing, he’s just freaking out.”

Dean grabbed the front of Cas’ shirt and forced himself to breath slowly. “I…need…to go…back…to our…cabin.” He wheezed. “Need…my…medicine.” He whispered the words so only Cas could hear him.

“Did he do something?” Cas shot a dirty look in Doug’s direction but the man had moved closer to the fire and didn’t hear him.

Reluctantly Dean nodded. A tear slipped down his cheek and Cas gently wiped it away.

He nodded. “Wait here. I’m going to grab the guitar and we’re leaving.”

Dean remained where he was standing. He jumped when someone touched his arm again. 

“Are you ok?” Priscilla was asking.

“I-I have anxiety.” Dean forced the words out between each gasp for air.

“Did my son say something to you?” 

The look on Dean’s face told her the answer. She pressed her lips firmly together and for a moment he thought she was angry with him.

“I’m sorry, my son…he can be quite selfish sometimes. I apologize if he upset you, I’ll have a word with him.”

“Please, I’m happily married, he needs to stop.” Dean begged. Priscilla’s eyes widened.

“He was _flirting_?”

Dean’s own eyes widened and it dawned on him that perhaps he had just outed the man to his mother. He bent over double as his breathing grew harsh and he gasped for air.

“Shit, shit, shit…”

A warm hand on his back a moment later made him flinch and pull away.

“No, baby, it’s me. Here.” 

Cas was guiding him to sit down. He did so, and found his husband pushing a cup of water and a pill under his nose.

“You…went…back?”

“You weren’t going to make it. So just take it here, we’ll wait a few minutes, and then we’ll walk back.” Cas sunk down into the soft sand next to him and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, soothing him. Dean took the pill and swallowed the water. He realized Priscilla was still standing there watching him.

“Are you feeling better dear?” She asked as Dean’s breathing finally began to even out again. He nodded as he leaned against Cas.

“I’m sorry.” Priscilla said.

“For what?” Cas asked.

“For my son, he caused this. I didn’t know he has been flirting with your husband.” She replied.

“He asked Dean out earlier today before he realized he was married, but he hasn’t stopped the staring and flirting. I don’t know what exactly he said to trigger this, but I’ll tell you this, I’m pissed.” Cas told her.

“I understand. I’ll have my husband talk to him. He tends to get through better than I do. He’s a clinical psychiatrist, he can explain the damage he caused tonight. Maybe my son will actually show some remorse for his actions. Either way, I’ll tell him he’s to leave you both alone.” She gave Cas’ shoulder a squeeze before walking away. He turned to see her approaching her husband and though he couldn’t hear the conversation he could tell her husband was upset. He looked over at Dean with a look of shock before he rushed over. He dropped to his knees in the sand in front of him.

“Dean, can I touch you?” He asked. Dean looked up weakly and nodded. Terry pulled a penlight out of his pocket as he lifted Dean’s head. He shined the light into his eyes briefly.

“What did you give him, and how long ago?”

“Xanax, and maybe five minutes ago.” Cas replied. Terry nodded.

“Alright. Let’s get him up and back to your room where he has peace and quiet.”

Together they lifted Dean up and walked him back to the cabin.

“Has he always suffered anxiety attacks?” Terry asked.

“Yes, but not this severe. I don’t know what Doug said to him but it must have been bad.” Cas replied. Dean tensed and whimpered at the mentioning of the man’s name.

“It’s ok Dean, you’re safe. He’s not going to talk to you or touch you. You’re safe.” Terry spoke soothingly and Dean relaxed again.

“If his anxiety gets any worse please, don’t be afraid to come and get me.” Terry told him as they reached the cabin.

“Thank you. Once his medicine really kicks in he’ll get sleepy and he’s usually better by morning.” Cas replied. Terry nodded.

“Still, if you have any issues, don’t hesitate to ask. Here, just in case, take down my number.”

He gave Cas his phone number before saying goodnight.

“Shit, I forgot the guitar.” Cas said. Dean was shaking, the medicine not fully kicking in yet. This felt more akin to shock than to simple anxiety and it worried him. The guitar could wait.

Cas got up to lock the sliding doors and pull the curtains. He dimmed the lights before returning to where Dean was still sitting.

“Talk to me sweetheart, what happened?”

Dean whimpered, his shaking getting worse as he shook his head. Cas knew better than to push him.

“Let’s get these off you, ok? You’re covered in sand. I’m going to run us a warm bath and we’re going to relax together, ok?” He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair as he waited for him to answer. Finally he nodded and Cas got up and crossed the room to go in the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Cas was glad the tub was big enough for them both and he found tiny bottles of essential oils in the corner. He grabbed the one marked lavender and added a few drops into the water. When he returned to the bedroom he found Dean had sunk down to the floor and had his legs drawn up to his chest. His forehead was resting on his knees.

“Baby, come here.” 

Dean lifted his head at the sound of Cas’ voice and nodded. Cas helped him to his feet and walked him into the bathroom. He slowly undressed Dean and helped him into the tub. His own undressing went much faster as he wanted to get in the water and get Dean to calm down. He was still trembling and that worried him.

Cas knew almost the moment the medicine finally kicked in. Dean’s shoulders slumped and he let out a long sigh. He was still afraid to ask what Doug had done that had trigged such an intense attack for fear it would make things worse. Instead he concentrated on washing his husband’s hair and body, though when he brought the wash cloth down to wash between Dean’s legs the man whimpered and closed his legs. 

“It’s ok baby, I won’t hurt you.” He spoke softly even though his own anger was raging. He now had a pretty good idea of what Doug had done, and he wanted to march back down to the bonfire and beat the asshole senseless. The strangled sob that escaped Dean’s lips broke his heart. He was going to have to place a call to Deans’ therapist first thing in the morning.

He wrapped his arms around Dean and kissed his shoulder. “Are you ready for bed now?” He asked softly. Dean nodded.

“Yeah, I’m exhausted.” 

Cas got out and helped Dean to his feet. He grabbed a towel and took his time drying Dean off before guiding him back into the bedroom.

“Do you want another massage?” He asked. Dean shook his head.

“No, I-I just want you to hold me.”

Cas pulled the covers back and helped Dean into the bed. Once he was laying down he crawled in next to him. He held his arms out and Dean immediately moved into his embrace.

“I’m not upset with you, I want you to know that. You are not at fault here, ok?” He told Dean.

“I know. I’m afraid of what you’ll do to him though. If he hurt you…” Dean began to tremble again and Cas ran his hands soothingly up and down his back in an attempt to calm him again.

“I won’t touch him, ok? That’s my promise to you. Did…he touch you in an inappropriate way?” Cas really hoped the answer was no but he knew better. When Dean nodded after a beat he clenched his jaw and forced himself to remain calm. Dean needed him calm.

“He’s never going to touch you again, ok? Tomorrow I’ll call Tessa and you can talk to her. We’ll spend the day here in the cabin relaxing.”

Dean snuggled in closer, burying his face against Cas’ neck. “Ok.” He sighed. 

A few minutes later the last of the tension in Dean’s body melted away and he drifted off. Cas lay awake for a long time afterwards, picturing all the ways in which he could make Doug suffer. Who did that asshole think he was just reaching out and touching other people without their permission? And to come on like that to a married man? Doug was a douche of the highest order and in the morning he was going to march down to have a talk with Terry. Sure, Doug was a grown man but he was pretty sure Terry would understand the gravity of the situation, and maybe a threat of assault charges against his asshole son would make the punk wizen up. 

It took a long time before his anger dissipated enough for him to grow sleepy. As his eyelids grew heavy he moved closer to Dean, placing a soft kiss against the sleeping man’s temple.

“I love you sweetheart, and I will always protect you.” He whispered. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did you like the chapter? Is Doug pissing you all off yet? Lol. You know his type, I'm sure we've all come across people like him. I knew a girl in high school like her. Unless the guy (or girl, she was bi) was taken, she wasn't interested. But fear not, Dean has eyes only for his beautiful Cas. 
> 
> So did you figure out the song and who sung it? Here's the link to the video in case you're interested. I went back to the 80's for this one, lol. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyZU4iNRdsM
> 
> The other song mentioned, if you are not familiar, here are the links:
> 
> Sam Smith's I'm Not the Only One (this is a dark but really, really good song about knowing your man is cheating): https://youtu.be/nCkpzqqog4k
> 
> Pharrell William's Happy: https://youtu.be/i0A3-wc0rpw
> 
> Leave a comment, let me know what you think. A few more chapters are coming before we bring this story to an end!


	44. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did not forget about you guys!!!! I've just had A LOT going on, including an almost fully written chapter that my computer decided to delete when it did a sudden update. It took a few days of me screaming at Word angrily before I could calm down enough to rewrite. It's not exactly what I had writtend the first time, but it'll do. So, synopsis time:
> 
> Dean wakes the next morning to find himself alone in bed. When Cas gets back they have a talk and share a lazy afternoon in bed, but Cas couldn't let the situation from the night before go unaddressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, this is the morning after the attack. If need be, go back and reread the last chapter for a refresher. I 'm sorry it too me so long to get this chapter out but my mom is home now, nursing home basically kicked her out, and just as I expected, she won't move. She just lays there, either on her tablet or watching TV. And her insurance is saying they dropped her, but the nursing home is saying she still had insurance when they sent her home. So I can't get her meds which total in the hundreds of dollars, and the nursing home is taking their sweet time getting back to me. It's very stressful at home right now. On the plus side, I published another book! I'll give the links to both books and a synopsis to each one in the notes at the end. I hope you guys like this chapter cause you're not going to like the next one. Warning in advance about that. Sorry!

Dean woke the following morning feeling infinitely better than he had the night before. The bed was empty though and he sat up on his elbows, looking around.

“Cas?” 

When there was no answer he slipped from the bed and went in search of his husband. Cas was not in the bathroom or out on the sun porch, nor was he in the mini kitchen or living room, but when his phone chirped back in the bedroom he knew it was Cas.

Cas: Had some things to deal with this morning. On my way back now with breakfast. Don’t you move from that bed.

Dean grinned as he collapsed back onto the mattress. He was glad he hadn’t bothered to get dressed. 

Dean: I’m in bed still babe. Waiting on you. Hurry back.

He read through a few more texts while he debated on whether or not he wanted to call his therapist. He felt better, but some words of wisdom from her couldn’t hurt. In the end he placed the call but got her voicemail.

“Hi, Tessa? It’s Dean. I need to talk to you. I’m still on my honeymoon but something happened last night. Someone…invaded my personal space, and he…touched me. Not Cas though. I had the worst panic attack in years. If you get a moment could you please give me a call? I feel better this morning, but still a bit off. I’m on edge and don’t really want to leave the cabin now. Cas doesn’t know that though. He went out to get breakfast and isn’t back yet. I’m going to go now, have a good day.” He disconnected the call and laid his head back against the fluffy pillows. It was another twenty minutes before he heard the front door open.

“Dean?” 

“In the bed, exactly where you told me to be.” He called back.

Cas walked in, his eyes widening as he took in Dean’s naked body.

“Damn you’re gorgeous, babe.” He growled as he knelt on the bed and crawled over to where Dean was lying. 

“Where were you?” Dean reached up to run his fingers through Cas’ hair.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Cas countered. 

“I’m ok. Not great, but I’m in control.” Dean replied. Cas nodded and kissed his cheek softly.

“Good. Cause I brought you breakfast, and we’re eating it in bed. Today is a lazy day. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” 

Dean smiled as he wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck and pulled him down into a lazy kiss.

“I’m not really feeling up to going out today, if that’s ok.”

“That’s fine sweetheart. I should tell you though, I have someone coming over this afternoon. And if you want to get mad at me, that’s ok, but I couldn’t let what happened last night slide. I made a promise not to touch the asshole, and I’m keeping that promise, but I still couldn’t just let it go. If he did that to you there’s no saying he won’t do it again to someone else, or worse, perhaps take it further and actually hurt them. So I did what I felt was best not only for you but for any future people that he might feel he has a right to harass. I’m going beg you now to please not be angry with me. I love you so much.” 

There was a pleading tone to Cas’ voice, and Dean could hear the fear in it too. He let go of Cas and pushed him back just enough so that he could sit up.

“What did you do exactly?”

Cas sat back on his heels and fidgeted with the hem of his tee shirt as he talked.

“I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I was angry at that prick, and I was so worried about you. You really scared me last night. I ended up down at the beach this morning, wading in the water when Terry found me. Apparently he couldn’t sleep either. We had a nice, long talk about his son and it turns out you aren’t the first person he did that too. Doug has had assault charges against him for similar behavior and Terry said he’s tired of bailing his son out and he doesn’t condone Doug’s behavior. He suggested I go down and talk to the local police. The couple that owns this place? Their son is a police officer. I went down to the station and explained what happened. Terry came with me.”

“He…went with you? Seriously?” Dean was shocked.

“He knows his son was in the wrong, and he helped explain what I was too upset to basically regarding your reaction and how it affected you. So Daniel, the officer, he’s coming down later to talk to you and take a formal report.” Cas explained.

Dean stared up at his husband for a long time before he fell back against the pillows. He wasn’t mad at Cas. No, his anger was directed at Doug. It was more like he was surprised, and perhaps a little in shock too. He had also forgotten how his panic attacks could affect others.

“I’m sorry.” He said after another few minutes of silence.

“For what?” Cas asked.

“For scaring you last night.” Dean reached out and pulled Cas’ hand away from where it was almost putting a hole in his shirt. He kissed the palm before laying it on his stomach.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Cas laid down next to him and cuddled close to the naked man.

“I hate feeling like I’m out of control, like I can’t just calm myself down like other people do. And the more I feel like that, the more anxious I get. I hate it.” Dean said bitterly.

“You do a very good job though, babe. You deal so well with everything that stresses you out. What happened last night? That was beyond your control, no matter what you did. Doug is an asshole that was going to do what he wanted, regardless of how you felt about it. But I couldn’t just let that go. I love you and I will always do what I can to protect you, even if you can do a damn good job of protecting yourself. You’re my husband and you’re my world, Dean.” Cas kissed his shoulder before wrapping his arms around the man even tighter. Dean turned on his side so that he was facing Cas.

“I love you, Cas. There aren’t enough words to describe just how much I love you.” He spoke softly, reverently, and the smile Cas gave set off the butterflies in his stomach once more. As he did so often since first meeting Cas, he wondered how on earth he had gotten so damn lucky. 

“Are you hungry?” Cas asked.

“Depends. Is breakfast more fruit?”

Cas chuckled. “There is fruit, but I brought other stuff too.”

“It can wait. All I want right now is you.’ Dean replied. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

By the time they got to the food it was mostly cold, but the sex had been well worth it. Dean felt relaxed and couldn’t help but laugh as Cas attempted to be romantic and feed him. It ended up with both of them getting messy and needing a shower. Terry had returned the guitar and Cas’ romantic mood continued as he pulled it out and began to strum away on it. He sat in the wicker chair in the corner, a sheet draped over his lap as his fingers pulled at the strings.

“I want to sing something for you. Something that represents how I feel about you.” He said.

“I’d like that.” Dean replied, grinning from his spot on the bed. He was laying on his side, his head propped up on his hand as he watched Cas playing. Soon the soft notes of a song he hadn’t heard in years began to fill the room.

“Babe…” The lump that formed in his throat threatened to betray him. 

_“Maybe it's intuition_  
But some things you just don't question  
Like in your eyes  
I see my future in an instant  
And there it goes  
I think I've found my best friend 

_I know that it might sound more than a little crazy  
But I believe_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life 

_There's just no rhyme or reason_  
Only the sense of completion  
And in your eyes  
I see the missing pieces  
I'm searching for  
I think I've found my way home 

_I know that it might sound more than a little crazy  
But I believe_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life 

_A thousand angels dance around you  
I am complete now that I've found you_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life” 

By the time the last chord had played Dean was in tears. When Cas set the guitar aside and crawled back into the bed there were tears in his eyes as well.

“Don’t cry baby, please don’t cry.” He murmured against Dean’s throat as he wrapped him in his arms and hugged him tight.

“It’s good tears, Cas. That was beautiful. And I think I found my next tattoo.” Dean said with a small laugh. Cas lifted his head to look at him.

“Not that whole song!”

“No! One line from it. Just not sure yet where I want it.” Dean replied.

“What line?” Cas asked.

“ _I think I dreamed you into life_. Because I really do feel that way. Sometimes I have to just stop whatever I’m doing, the shock over the fact that this is my life, and that I’ve found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, it sort of hits me really hard, and I’m left stunned. It feels like a dream, and if it is, it’s one that I never want to wake up from.”

Cas chuckled and kissed him. “It’s not a dream. I know, sometimes it feels like that for me too, but it’s not a dream. I feel like my prayers were answered the moment I met you.”

They laid around, lazily kissing and talking until the alarm on Cas’ phone went off.

“What’s that for?” Dean asked as Cas got up from the bed.

“Daniel will be here soon. We need to get dressed.” Cas dug around in his bag, pulling out clothes for himself before moving over to Dean’s bag and pulling out clothes for him too.

“Hey babe?” Dean asked as he pulled the tee shirt over his head.

“Yeah?” 

“Um, you said you brought…other stuff. What exactly did you bring?” Dean asked shyly. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly felt embarrassed but he couldn’t help the blush that blossomed across his cheeks. Cas looked up, a mischievous grin on his lips.

“If we weren’t about to talk to the police I’d pull out a couple of toys but I don’t think it would be appropriate. We’ll play later though.”

“Toys?” Dean squeaked. He’d never used toys before. His heartbeat quickened just thinking about what was hiding at the bottom of Cas’ bag. Cas zipped his bag shut just as someone knocked at the door.

“We’ll pick up that conversation later.” Cas winked as he stood up and left the room. Dean left the bedroom and walked into the living room where Cas was greeting the man in uniform. 

“My name is Daniel Lightbourn, you must be Dean. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances.” Daniel offered Dean his hand which he took and shook firmly.

“I wish so too. You’re Chandra’s cousin, right?” Dean asked.

“Yes, and your husband here has filled me in on what happened last night. I am sorry that your stay here was disrupted by such ignorant behavior. I need to hear from you what happened last night, and once I have your statement I will go and speak to Mr. Rubin.”

Cas motioned to the couch for Daniel to have a seat. Cas and Dean at across from him in the armchairs. Dean hashed out everything that had happened yesterday, from first meeting Doug at the market to what occurred last night at the bonfire. He glanced nervously over at Cas when he explained exactly what it was Doug had done. He felt bad about not being completely up front about what it was Doug had done and based on the look of shock and anger on his husband’s face he knew he’d been wrong to withhold the information, but he’d been ashamed. He still was. Daniel wrote down everything he had said, asking a few questions of his own as they went along. Once he had everything he needed, he got to his feet.

“I need to go and speak to Mr. Rubin before it gets too late. Are you wishing to press charges?” He asked.

“Yes!” Cas spat out.

“I don’t know.” Dean said quietly. It was on the tip of his husband’s tongue to argue with him but seeing the anxiety surfacing on Dean’s face made him bite his tongue.

“We’ll have to talk about it some more.” Cas said carefully, his eyes remaining locked on Dean’s face.

“Alright. I will be in contact.” Daniel shook hands with them again before Cas walked him to the door.

Dean anticipated Cas being angry and yelling at him for not immediately wanting to press charges but instead his husband quietly returned to the living room and pulled him into his arms.

“Cas?” He asked, confused by the man’s reaction.

“I’m sorry, I let my own emotions get in the way of yours, and that wasn’t right. You know where I stand on the issue. I believe it’s in your best interest to press charges but if you don’t want to, I will back your decision. Just know that if you don’t press charges you’re basically giving him free reign to do that to someone else in the future. What if he went on to harm someone that wasn’t able to defend themselves? Someone like Gracie? We don’t know what kind of person Doug is, or what exactly he has done in the past. Terry said this wasn’t his first or even second offense, but people never end up pressing charges. So if he has done it in the past, he will do it again.”

Dean sat down in the chair and looked out the window. Cas was right. He couldn’t tuck his tail between his legs and hide with this. He’d never be able to live with the guilt if he didn’t press charges and the next time Doug ended up raping someone. For a long time he sat in silence. Outside children were playing in the fading sunlight. The day, as beautiful as it had been to just make love to his husband and lounge around in bed, felt wasted due to his own inability to just “get over” what had happened. He was angry with himself and not sure how to handle it. His phone rang in the bedroom and Cas went to get it. When he walked back in the room he was talking to someone on it.

“Yes, I believe he did call earlier. Here he is.” Cas handed the phone over. “It’s Tessa. I’m going to go down to the beach, give you a bit of privacy, ok? Come get me when you’re done talking.” He handed the phone to Dean and leaned over to kiss the top of his head. 

“Hello?” Dean asked as he took the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, I am now a published author with TWO books released! One in the LGBQT genre called Broken. It is available on Kindle and in paperback. Here is the Kindle link for anyone interested:
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/Broken-C-M-Joyce-ebook/dp/B012P8BOXQ/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1440019865&sr=1-2&keywords=c.m.+joyce
> 
> Here is the synopsis: 
> 
> Asher West is an artist, known for his paintings which contain an angel that holds special meaning to him. He has survived death not once but twice in his lifetime. He is a fighter, determined to live, and after a yearlong battle with cancer he is determined to reclaim his life and pick up painting again. It is while out on a walk that he meets the enigmatic Jack Kerrigan. 
> 
> Jack is a successful businessman, a workaholic, lonely and wondering if he'll ever meet anyone worth getting serious with. At thirty two, he's losing hope. Taking an afternoon to himself and going for a cup of coffee, he crosses path with a certain blue eyes artist, and he knows his life will never be the same again. 
> 
> Neither man had been out looking to fall in love, but it happened. Asher is the best thing that ever happened to Jack, and the feeling is mutual. They begin to carve out a life together, but Jack's job puts pressure on him once they learn he's in a same sex relationship, and he's faced with a hard decision. 
> 
> Choosing Asher over his homophobic employers, Jack takes a job in Chicago, and they make the move. Jack has a plan: House, career, marriage, family, and Asher is on board for it all. The new job is a great fit and he's thriving there. Asher's art is taking off, his popularity growing exponentially, and they think nothing could possibly go wrong. 
> 
> When Jack's new employer insists that he take on an intern he's not happy about it. He feels he can do his job just fine, he always has, but at the insistence of his supervisor he decides to give the intern a chance. 
> 
> No one could have known what a dark path that decision would lead Jack down, or how it would threaten not only his life, but the life of the man he loves more than anything in the world.
> 
> And here is the link to my horror novel. It's the first book in the series. The series is called The Bloodborne Chronicles. This book is Alex. Here's the link to the Kindle version:
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/The-Bloodborne-Chronicles-Alex-Hunted-ebook/dp/B01424322M/ref=pd_rhf_dp_p_img_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=0WVWHXJWQQEK508CYJE4
> 
> And here is the synopsis: Alex Cavanaugh lives alone, more of out necessity than anything. It's just safer that way. Hunted, he knows better than to let people into his life. Anyone that gets close to him ends up dead. 
> 
> When Alex meets the beautiful and vivacious Julia Monroe the last thing he expects is to develop any feelings for her. He faces a decision of potentially life threatening proportions. Allow her to get close and possibly put her life in danger, or let her go and return to his dark and miserable life. 
> 
> Letting Julia in brings a light and joy to his life that he hasn't experienced in a very long time, but that happiness comes at a price. Alex harbors some very dark secrets that during a moment of crisis is forced to reveal. 
> 
> Alex's world gets turned upside down and the lives of everyone he holds dear is threatened by a virus that reanimates the dead.. It's multiplying, spreading the infection at an alarming rate. Now faced with a plague of biblical proportions he must fight for the lives of his family, and for the woman he loves, or risk losing everything.
> 
> I'm so excited. Broken is doing very well right now. The beautiful and amazing Monijune edited Alex for me, as did Juicytree21. Thank you much to both for your assistance!
> 
> Check them out and let me know what you guys think of the cover art. The pictures on the cover of both? That's MY photography. I created both covers and I'm rather proud. Especially of the cover on Alex. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter. Comment, let me know what you think. I love you guys!
> 
> P.S.: The song Cas sings in this chapter is one of my all time favorite ones, it's "I Knew I Loved You" by Savage Garden. Somehow I luck out every time I choose a song and there is some sneaky little angel reference in every one of them, lol. Works in my favor though!!!


	45. Narcissism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you all have your seatbelts on? You might need them for this chapter...
> 
> Dean is still debating on pressing charges when Doug attacks Cas down on the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you last chapter that this one would be intense. I do hope you like it though.

Cas returned to the bedroom where he quickly changed into his swim trunks. He could hear Dean talking in the living room but not what he was saying. Dean needed his privacy while talking to Tessa. With luck the therapist would be able to explain further why it was important for Dean to press charges. 

He stepped out onto the back deck and stretched. The evening was warm and he expected the water to be warm as well. With his flip flops in hand he made his way down to the water, letting it lap around his ankles as the tide came in. In the distance he could see dolphins playing and leaping. It brought a smile to his lips. This place was beautiful, a bit of heaven on earth. The crabs scurrying about were entertaining and he found a tide pool to investigate. He was crouched down, examining a star fish when he felt the first blow against his back.

“You fucking asshole! You told Dean to lie and say I touched him! Who the fuck do you think you are, you tattooed freak!” Doug screamed as Cas pitched forward. He rolled onto his back just as Doug swung a second time. Unprepared for it, he took the hit across the left side of his jaw. He barely managed to roll out of the way as Doug swung a third time and his attacker ended up face down in the tide pool.

“You bastard! What you did was assault! You had no right to touch Dean!” Cas was fast, scrambling to his feet before Doug could haul himself out of the water. He took off up the beach towards the cabin but was tackled and forced face down into the sand before he got halfway there.

“You fucking prick!” Doug had him pinned face down in the sand, his weight preventing Cas from moving as he punched him over and over. Cas dug his hands into the sand and pushed back just enough to throw Doug’s balance off. He lifted his head, spitting out sand.

“Dean! Dean!” Cas managed to scream before he felt a dull punch to the back of his head that sent him face first back into the sand. He barely heard the sliding door open but then the weight of the body on top of his own disappeared suddenly a few seconds later. He had to fight just to get to his knees but when he turned around he saw Dean wrestling Doug into the sand. 

“You don’t fucking _touch_ my husband!” Dean bellowed. Doug was fighting hard not to be pushed down but while Cas was smaller than Doug, Dean was not. Dean swept the man’s leg and knocked him backwards to land hard on his ass.

“You liked it, you little bitch! I know you want me and not that tattooed and pierced freak!” Doug hissed through clenched teeth. Dean was shocked by the words this man was spewing, but he let it feed his anger.

“Go call the cops, Cas. For sure I’m pressing charges now!” Dean looked up and Cas nodded before stumbling up the stairs and into the cabin. He grabbed the phone and the piece of paper with the list of numbers on it. Daniel was right at the top. 

The officer answered on the first ring and Cas told him what had just happened. He explained that Dean had Doug detained out on the beach. Daniel promised that he had officers on the way and to just hold on a few more minutes. He went back outside and to his surprise Dean had Doug face down in the sand with his arms pinned behind his back. 

“Are you ok baby?” Dean asked. Cas still had the phone pressed to his ear, though the call had ended. It suddenly dawned on him that it hurt to breath.

“I think I need to go to the hospital.” He sat down hard on the edge of the deck. In the distance he could hear sirens.

“You fucked up this time Doug. If my husband sustained any kind of internal damage because you’re a privileged fucking asshole I will sue you into hell, and you _will_ go to prison. My goddamn brother’s a lawyer, you hear me? A LAWYER! The moment your ass is arrested here I’ll be on the phone calling him, and we WILL be pressing charges.”

“Fuck you!” Doug spat.

Daniel came around the corner a minute later with several other officers and they took over control of a still angry and violent Doug. The moment they had him, Dean shot to his feet and ran over to Cas.

“Baby, how bad is it?” He was almost afraid to touch Cas for fear of causing him even more pain.

“I think he cracked a couple of ribs. And I took a hit to the kidney. My back is killing me.” Cas moaned. He turned to look at Dean and felt a jolt of pain shoot down his neck that made his wince. “And my head hurts.”

Dean shifted so he could look at his husband’s back. He winced at the bruises that were blossoming there already.

“Is he alright? Does he need a medic? I have one waiting out front.” A woman in a police uniform asked. Her name tag read Williams.

“Yes, he needs to be looked at.” Dean said.

“I’ll get the medics.” She disappeared around the side of the house. 

“Are you alright?” Cas asked.

“I’m fine. I should never have let you come out here alone, I’m so sorry.” Dean smoothed a lock of hair away from Cas’ brow and kissed his forehead tenderly. His eyes were glassy with unspilt tears and Cas reached up to wipe them away.

“We had no idea he was going to jump off the deep end like that. Dude’s clearly not stable. I’m sorry your talk with Tessa was cut short.” Cas said, gritting his teeth through the pain.

“We’d already hung up. I was in the bedroom looking for my swim trunks when I heard you screaming. I’m going in for a session the day after we get back. I’m calling her back in the morning though, telling her what happened here.” Dean told him.

Two medics came back with Officer Williams and after a quick evaluation they determined that yes, Cas had some cracked ribs and was in need of medical care at the hospital. Dean refused to let him walk out to the ambulance and instead carried him out, bridal style.

“I’ll meet you at the hospital. I need to grab your clothes, my phone, and my wallet.” Dean told him as Cas was settled onto a gurney and strapped down. Cas grunted at the pressure against his back and nodded.

“Just…hurry.” 

Dean ran back to the cabin to grab a change of clothes for Cas. He pocketed his wallet, put his shoes on and stuffed the clothes and a pair of flip flops into a bag to bring with. Out in the car he called his brother.

“Dean? Why are you calling me on your honeymoon?” Sam asked with a laugh when he picked up.

“Sam, we have a serious issue. What kind of jurisdiction do we need to press charges against someone? This asshole in the cabin next to us, he…sexually assaulted me yesterday. It wasn’t anything terribly bad, but Cas insisted we call the police, so we did. They came by today, talked to us, talked to the prick that touched me and I was still deciding on whether I wanted to press charges when he came down the beach and beat the living shit out of Cas. I had to pull him off. Cas is at the hospital now and I’m on my way there. This prick needs to pay!”

“Holy…are you ok?” Sam asked, shocked by his brother’s words.

“Yeah…I’ll be fine.” Dean replied tightly. “Just tell me there’s something we can do.”

“Of course. I’m going to make a few phone calls, talk to the partners and see what I can figure out on my end. Get me as much information as you possibly can in the meantime.” Sam said.

“Will do. I’m almost to the hospital now.” 

“Keep me updated. Do you want me to tell Ellen and Bobby? Or Gabe or even Michael?” Sam asked.

“Let me talk to Cas first.” Dean said.

“Alright. Be safe bro. Call me as soon as you know something.”

Dean wove through the evening traffic, arriving at the hospital twenty minutes later. He was directed to Cas’ room but Cas was not there so he went in search of anyone that could tell him what was going on. He located a nurse at the station.

“Ma’am, can you give me information on Castiel Winchester? He was just brought in and they directed me up here, to room 312. I didn’t think he would be admitted, and certainly not so soon.”

She looked up at him, her face impassive. “Are you related?”

“Yes, he’s my husband.” He replied. Her eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips.

“Let me check.” She tapped away on her keyboard and he looked around as she did. It wasn’t all that busy, despite being right in a high tourist area.

“He was moved to a room about ten minute ago. He was bleeding so they took him down for some tests.” She replied.

“Do you know what kind of tests?” He pressed. He wanted answers, damn it.

“I believe they think his has some hemorrhaging in a kidney, and some bruising on a lung. If you’ll have seat I’ll let you know as soon as I know something.” She replied. 

“I’ll wait in his room.” He turned and stalked off before she could respond. Her attitude was more than he could handle at the moment. Back in Cas’ room he sat down in the chair by the window and pulled out his phone. He texted the information the nurse had given him to his brother and then sat back and waited.

It was almost an hour before Cas was wheeled back into the room. His face lit up at the sight of his husband.

“Baby, are you ok?” He asked. Cas looked terrible. His chest was wrapped in white bandages and he was wearing a neck brace. He’d never seen the man look so pale.

Dean laughed nervously as he hurried over to his side. Cas was shifted from the gurney into the bed where he grimaced from the pain. “I can’t believe you’re asking about me. How are you? What did they figure out?”

“I had this urge to pee in the ambulance, and by the time we got here I had to go so bad I almost couldn’t help it. So they gave me a bedpan and I was pissing blood. So they took me up for a CAT scan and some x-rays. My right kidney is really bruised. There’s a small hemorrhage but they think it’ll repair itself. They want to wait twenty four hours and see though. And yes, I have six cracked ribs and a bruised lung. That fucker can really hit.” Cas tried to make light of his injuries but Dean wasn’t having any of that.

“And the neck brace? What’s up with that?”

Cas reached a hand up, touching the corner of it. “He punched me so hard in the back of the head that it damaged a vertebrae. Sort of like whiplash.” Hearing how much damage Doug had done to the man he loved infuriated Dean almost beyond words. Cas could see the anger on his face and he took Dean’s hand, pulling it to his lips and kissing it lightly. “I’ll be ok darling, we’ll be ok.”

“I called Sam. I texted him again when I got here. He’s already talking to his firm to see what we can do. I’m going to give him the new details.” Dean pulled his phone out and texted his brother. 

“They arrested him though, right?” Cas asked.

“Yes, they did.” Dean confirmed. Cas relaxed a bit, laying back and closing his eyes.

“They gave you something for the pain, didn’t they.” Dean smoothed hair from Cas’ forehead. Cas nodded.

“Mmm. Almost as soon as I got here. The pain was pretty intense.”

Dean’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out. “Shit.” He muttered. Cas cracked and eyelid and looked up at him.

“What?”

“Sam is at the airport. He got a flight down here. I have to pick him up in a few hours. He’s coming down with one of the partners from the firm.” Dean replied. Cas tried to sigh but ended up whimpering as a sharp pain ripped through his chest.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get the perfect honeymoon sweetheart.” He reached out for Dean and found his hand. Lifting it to his lips he kissed the rings on his finger. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Cas, honey, the only thing you need to do is heal so we can go home. We’ll finish up our honeymoon at home. I don’t want to be here any longer.” Dean told him. Cas frowned.

“No, but…”

“It’s ok. We can lounge around and be lazy at home in our own bed. I’ll see if Ellen can take Gracie back to her house for a few more days.” Dean told him. He knew Cas was upset and that despite everything that had happened, he wanted to stay, but he didn’t. If he stayed any longer than the time it took to get Cas well enough to go home, he was going to snap. 

“This is bullshit. Next summer, no summer school. I’ll take the semester off from classes too and then I’m taking you anywhere in the world you want to go.” Cas told him. Dean smiled and leaned down to kiss him.

“Deal. Now just start healing already.”

“Already working on it.” Cas replied with a smirk. 

Dean pulled the chair close and sat down. He took Cas’ hand, winding their fingers together and watching as the pain meds took over and his husband drifted off. When a man in a white coat walked in a few minutes later he smiled warmly.

“You must be Castiel’s partner, Dean, right?” The doctor asked.

“Husband, we’re married.” Dean replied. 

“I do apologize. How is he doing?” The doctor approached the bed, doing a quick, noninvasive exam.

“Hard to tell how much pain he’s really in, he’s on pain medication right now.” Dean replied.

“Yes, I ordered that as soon as he came in. His pain levels were around a nine out of ten.” The doctor turned to Dean and offered him his hand across the bed.

“My name is Dr. Johnston.”

“Well, you know my name already.” Dean said with a small laugh.

“I am sorry about this. I understand this is your honeymoon?” 

Dean sighed and nodded, his eyes sliding over to gaze upon his husband’s sleeping face.

“Yeah. Some honeymoon.”

“Well, we’ll keep him under observation for the next twenty four hours. He has a small tear in his right kidney that we need to keep an eye on. We’ll do another scan in the morning and see if the bleeding has stopped. He’s going to need plenty of rest and in a few weeks he will need his ribs looked at again, to make sure everything has healed correctly.” Dr. Johnston explained.

“When will it be safe to travel? I want to take him home.” Dean said.

“Oh, perhaps a week? You want to give that kidney time to heal, and his neck.”

Dean frowned. If they had to stay there was no way they were going to continue staying at the cabin.

“Are you comfortable? Would you like a blanket? I can send a nurse in with one for you.” Dr. Johnston said.

“I am a little chilled, yes, that would be nice.” Dean replied. The doctor smiled before leaving the room. Exhausted, both physically and mentally Dean laid his head down on the bed. He hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep until he heard voices in the room. Cas was talking softly to someone. He lifted his head and saw his brother standing there.

“Sam? I thought I had to come pick you up. Why didn’t you call me?” Dean yawned and scrubbed at the stubble on his chin.

“We rented a car. It’s ok.” Sam told him. Cas reached out and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“Didn’t want to wake you, I know you were tired.” He told Dean.

“Nah, it’s ok.” Dean looked at his brother. “Where’s the guy you brought with?”

“Out in the waiting room talking to a Terry and Priscilla Rubin. They’re the parents of your attacker, right?” Sam asked. Dean nodded, stiffening. Cas placed a warm hand against his cheek.

“It’s ok baby, Doug is in custody. He’s not going anywhere.”

“Do you have your medicine here?” Sam asked. Reluctantly Dean shook his head.

“No, it’s back at the cabin. I don’t need it though, I’m alright.” He knew he sounded defensive but he couldn’t help it. Sam just nodded.

“Good, I’m glad to hear that. You need to get some rest though. Do you want me to drive you back to the cabin?” 

“What? No! I’m not leaving!” Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and held it tight. Cas saw the terror in his eyes and stepped in quickly to intercede.

“No, Dean won’t be leaving. He’s under enough stress and I’m sure he doesn’t want to go back to try and sleep at the place we were attacked at. When I am released, he’ll leave. However, if you want to stop by there and pick up his medicine and a change of clothes for him, it would be much appreciated.” Cas leveled Sam with a warning look telling him not to push the subject. Sam nodded.

“That’s fine. I’ll stop by when we’re done here. We have an appointment in a few hours with a local lawyer, and the Rubin’s lawyer.”

“What? Why? Are they trying to defend Doug?” Dean demanded.

“No, actually. Just themselves. Mr. Rubin is actually quite upset about all of this, and feels responsible for not stopping his son when he stormed out of their cabin earlier. He is paying for Cas’ medical care as the first step in an apology.”

“He’s paying my medical bills?” Cas asked, shocked. Sam nodded.

“Yes, in full. And when you return home he is going to continue to pay for them until you’re completely healed, and he’s offering to pay for six months of therapy, for you both. He understands Dean’s…issues, and he says he doesn’t want him to suffer any more than he already has from the events of the last 24 hours.”

Cas turned to look at his husband who had a matching look of shock on his face.

“He doesn’t have to do that, it wasn’t his fault.” Dean finally said.

“He’s aware of that, but apparently his son has some issues, such as narcissism, and bouts of extreme aggression. When his son was young he had him in therapy and on medication for the aggression, but Doug is twenty three now and took himself off his meds, and stopped attending therapy. He can’t control his adult son, but he feels a sense of guilt for his son’s actions.” Sam explained.

“We’re pressing charges. No way we’re not.” Cas said firmly. This was something he wasn’t budging on, no matter what Dean said. Dean lifted his hand and kissed it.

“Yes, for last night’s events and for tonight’s.” 

Cas smiled over at him and he smiled back. “You were right. If I’d just agreed right away earlier this never would have happened.” Dean felt his anxiety threatening to rise and he swallowed hard several times as he tried to get his breathing under control. Cas’ smile faltered and he looked up at Sam in alarm.

“Get the doctor, now.”

Sam was gone before Dean could argue.

“I’m so sorry Cas, I’m just so sorry.” Dean broke down, dropping his head to the bed as he clutched at Cas’ hand.

“Shh honey, it’s ok. It’s not your fault.” Cas tried to reach over with his free hand to comfort his husband but the pain in his ribs prevented him from doing so. All he could do was speak in a soft, soothing tone and let Dean cling to him. It was several minutes before Sam returned with Dr. Johnston in tow.

“Dean, can you sit up for me please?” The doctor waited for Dean to sit up before he did a quick evaluation.

“I have something that is going to help you to relax, ok? I have to administer it as a shot. We need you to be calm so Castiel is not worrying about you. He can’t get well if he’s worrying, and I know that’s what you want, for him to get better so you can take him home.” The doctor glanced over at Cas who made no effort to hide his worry.

“O-ok.” Dean was shaking but he managed to nod and the doctor pulled a syringe from his pocket. He wiped at a spot on Dean’s forearm and stuck the needle in. It was only a few seconds before the pain in Dean’s chest began to ease and his breathing became less ragged. Cas scooted over in the bed and patted it.

“Come here sweetheart, lay down with me.” He pulled the blanket back and waited for Dean to crawl up into the bed. He shot the doctor a look, daring him to say Dean couldn’t lay there with him. The doctor simply held his hands up in defeat.

“If that helps him feel better I will not stop him. But you need rest Mr. Winchester. So close your eyes and go back to sleep.” Dr. Johnston told Cas. He sighed and took Dean’s hand as Sam pulled the blankets up and over them both. Dean was already growing sleepy.

“I’ll rest, I promise.” Cas told the doctor. 

“Good. I will check on you in a little while. On both of you.”

With that the doctor turned and left again. Cas waited until he heard Dean begin to snore softly before he looked up at Sam.

“What took so long?”

“He called Dean’s therapist to make sure it was ok to give the dosage he wanted to give. I had to find her emergency number.” Sam replied. Cas sighed and nodded.

“I was worried he would blame himself, and he does. I think going home will be best. Hopefully my kidney heals up quickly and we can get out of here sooner rather than later. I’ll tell you right now, he’s not going to step foot back in that cabin. Could you go pack our stuff up? I’ll see about renting a hotel room in town or something.” 

“You just rest. I’ll take care of the cabin and I’ll rent the hotel room. I’ll see if they have one available where we’re staying.” Sam said as he started for the door.

“I’ll go get it all together now and I’ll be back with his clothes and meds in a few hours.”

“Thank you Sam.” 

“It’s not a problem. Get some rest, Cas.”

Cas was already closing his eyes again. “I’ll get right on that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...Doug can't hurt them anymore. I do hope you enjoyed the chapter, rough as it was. Cas will be ok! Leave a comment, you know I love them!


	46. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas are home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's not a very long chapter but I sort of needed to clean my kitchen today, and I had so many errands to run. I'm worn out.

It was three days before Cas was released and Dean never left his side. Sam gave up trying to get him to step away long enough to get fresh air and settled for making sure his brother ate and had his medication. He had gone back to the cabin to pack everything up, just as Cas had asked, and the room next to his own had already been rented at the hotel. Once Cas was at the hotel and resting comfortably, Sam urged Dean to call home and tell the family what had happened. He had told Jess where he was going and why, but no one else knew he had left. At Cas’ urging, Dean called home.

Ellen was upset, to say the least. She wanted to fly down but Dean told her to stay put, Gracie needed her more than they did, and that they would be home in just a few days. Bobby was ready to grab his shotgun and a shovel to come take care of Doug once and for all. The hardest calls were to Michael and Gabe. Both men were furious with Doug and worried sick about their brother. Cas spoke with each of them, easing their concerns and promised that they could both come visit once he was home again.

The moment they got the all clear from Dr. Johnston, Dean changed their plane tickets. They headed home on a Wednesday afternoon while Sam stayed behind to finish up the rest of the legal proceedings. He was sticking it to Doug, hard, and had a lot of paperwork to wade through. Bobby was waiting at the airport for them and the look of worry on his face when he saw Cas turned into an angry scowl very quickly.

“I’m alright.” Cas assured him, but Bobby wasn’t convinced, especially when he saw Cas grimacing at the pain in his ribs where they had cracked as they hit bumps on the way home. Ellen was waiting at the door with Gracie in her arms when they reached the house.

“Daddy! Papa!” Gracie screamed, nearly making Ellen go deaf. She reached for her fathers but as much as Dean wanted to drop everything and hug his daughter tight, he was busy guiding Cas up the stairs and into the house.

“Hang on a minute princess, papa has a boo boo and we have to be very careful so we don’t hurt him.” He explained as he helped Cas kick his shoes off before walking him over to the couch.

“Papa has a boo boo? Oh no!” The little girl squirmed in her grandmother’s arms until Ellen put her down. She followed her fathers into the living room and crawled up onto the couch next to Cas.

“What dis?” She asked, touching the neck brace Cas wore.

“I have a boo boo in my neck.” He told her.

“Oh. You fall down?” She asked.

“Yes, I fell down and got hurt.” Cas replied.

“I kiss it, papa. I make it better.” She kissed the corner of the brace and he smiled wide.

“Thank you, princess. It already feels better.”

When Ellen walked in she leaned down to give Cas a kiss on the forehead but Gracie tried to push her away.

“No gamma, papa has a boo boo. Be careful!” The little girl admonished, making both her fathers snicker in amusement.

“You ok here babe or do you want to go lay down?” Dean asked Cas.

“I’ll be ok for a little while.” Cas waved him away and Dean handed him the remote for the television.

“I’m going to go unpack and start some laundry. I’m sure we brought enough sand back to start a box in the yard for Gracie.” He said with a laugh. Cas grinned.

“You’re probably right. But just toss in a load and come sit with me, ok? Let’s take it easy today.” 

Dean wanted to get as much done as possible but he knew Cas was right.

“Ok. I’ll bring Gracie’s presents down too.” 

“I has peasants?” Gracie’s face lite up at the word. Cas chuckled and ran his fingers through her silky, blonde locks.

“Yes ma’am, daddy and papa picked up some presents for you.” He told her. 

“Let her help you get the bags upstairs. She’s been very helpful with chores, haven’t you sweetheart?” Ellen smile fondly down at her granddaughter. Gracie looked up at Dean with a look of determination in her bright green eyes.

“I can help you daddy.” She climbed down from the couch and followed Dean as he grabbed the bags Bobby had deposited at the bottom of the stairs. Gracie found Dean’s carryon bag with his medicines and thought it was heavy she managed to drag it up the stairs behind him.

“Thank you baby girl. You can put it on the bathroom floor and I’ll put it away later.” He watched her grunting as she struggled to get the bag into the bathroom. Never once did she ask for help though. It made him proud. 

With Gracie’s help he got the laundry sorted and brought to the laundry room where he let her toss the clothes into the washer. Once the load was set they went back to the bedroom. He dug around in his suitcase until he found the bags filled with souvenirs. Gracie’s face lit up the moments she saw her new dress and before he could even offer it to her she was already stripping out of her tee shirt and pants. He laughed and went to put it on her but she pulled it from his hands.

“No, I do it.” She grumbled as she maneuvered the fabric over her head. It took her a few minutes and two times of putting it on backwards but eventually she got it right. She ran to the door and shut it so she could look in the mirror.

“Oh it’s petty daddy!” She exclaimed as she turned around, admiring it.

“Do you see the little monkeys on it? They have bananas.” He walked over and crouched down next to her, pointing out each silly little monkey there was.

“I like monkeys, daddy. They funny!” She laughed and her little nose scrunched up. His heart ached at the sight. He had missed her so much.

“Papa got you a toy monkey too. Come here.” He led her back to the bed where he pulled the stuffed animal from the bag and handed it to her. She hugged it to her chest and kissed its head.

“Oh daddy! I loved da monkey! I show gamma?” She asked.

“Sure. I have presents for grandma and grandpa too.” He took his daughter’s hand and they started for the stairs. When they reached them she handed her monkey to Dean and pulled her hand from his.

“I can do it.” She said firmly. “I hafta hold onna ray wing.” She explained as she took the stairs, one at a time while holding on tightly to the railing with both hands. Dean stayed close but let her go down by herself. 

“Wow, did grandma teach you that?” He asked.

“Nuh uh, gampa said I hafta hold on. No more fall inna get boo boos.” She explained.

“That’s very smart of grandpa. He taught me lots of stuff when I was a little boy too.” He told her as they walked into the kitchen. She took back her stuff monkey and hugged it tight.

“I love gampa.” She said matter-of-factly.

“I do too.” Dean agreed.

Bobby and Ellen were sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea when they walked in.

“Gamma! Look at my dress! Is a monkey dress!” Gracie ran over to show Ellen her dress.

“Oh, I love it! Monkeys for the monkey!” Ellen tickled the little girl’s belly, making her giggle.

“I have a baby monkey too, see?” She held her stuffed animal out for Ellen to see.

“Oh, he’s cute. What’s his name?” Ellen asked. Gracie’s brow knit together as she thought up a name. Dean expected one of the characters from Frozen to come up but suddenly her face lit up and she smiled brightly.

“Him’s name Nana. Cause he eats a nana!” 

Dean and Bobby both chuckled.

“That’s a good name for a monkey.” Ellen told her.

“Daddy has a peasant for you.” Gracie told her. Ellen looked up at Dean and smiled.

“Oh yeah?”

Dean set his bag on the table and started handing out gifts, shot glasses and a tee shirt for Bobby, a dress and magnets for Ellen.

“Oh gamma has a petty dress too! Put on you dress gamma!” Gracie cried.

“Ok, ok, I’ll go put it on. Come on, you can help me.” Ellen stood up and took Gracie by the hand. They left the room and Dean sat down in her empty seat.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to bring back gifts, but they’re appreciated.” Bobby told him.

“We had fun shopping for them. I got a couple new records, want to see?” 

Bobby’s face lit up. “Sure.” Dean stood up and ran up to pull the records from his bag. He carried them back down and handed them over to Bobby.

“I’m impressed. And you got these at a street market?”

“Yep. They had a lot, but not too many I was actually interested in.” Dean replied. Bobby held one of them up.

“I had this one back when it came out. Got lost in a move some years back. It’s worth a small fortune so be careful with it.”

Ellen and Gracie came back to the kitchen and Dean grinned when he saw Bobby’s face light up at the sight of his wife.

“Wow, you look good El. Cas picked a good dress.” Dean said.

“Cas picked this out? It’s beautiful. Very comfortable too.” Ellen smoothed a hand down the skirt and smiled. “I’m going to go thank him.”

“Me too!” Gracie declared, following after her.

“So Gracie was good?” Dean asked Bobby.

“Oh yeah, she’s an angel. I took her to the garage with me one afternoon. She’s the most spoiled little girl, I swear. Jo bought her her first Barbie doll and Ash bought her some toy cars. She spent the afternoon in my office running that doll over with the cars.” Bobby laughed.

“Sounds like my kid.” Dean said, laughing with him. Ellen and Gracie returned and Dean stood up to give Ellen back her seat.

“Dean?” Cas called from the living room. He hurried to see what his husband needed.

“Yeah baby?” 

“I need to pee, and I want to lay down, my ribs are hurting me sitting like this.” Cas replied. 

Dean helped him to his feet and up the stairs to their bathroom. When Cas came back into the bedroom Dean could see how tired he really was.

“Want me to lie down with you?” He asked. Cas smiled and nodded.

“That would be nice.”

“Alright. Let me just tell Ellen and Bobby.”

Cas sat down on the bed and waited for Dean to return. He read a few texts, sighing when he saw that he had one from each of his brothers. He was too tired to respond so he just turned his phone off and set it aside. When Dean came back he helped Cas out of his pants and into some loose sweats. Cas despised feeling helpless but the doctor had been adamant that he limit his movement and be very careful with his neck. Dean had arranged for a visit with their doctor the next day, just to follow up and make sure everything was healing alright and Cas was hoping they’d tell him he could take the stupid brace off. Once he was laying back against the pillows that Dean had fluffed up for him he let out a sigh and reached over to take his husband’s hand in his own. 

“Comfortable?” Dean asked.

“No, but it’s not your fault. It’s impossible with this stupid brace on.” Cas replied.

“We’ll see what the doctor says in the morning. Your appointment is at ten, and then I’m going to go see Tessa at two. Ellen and Bobby are going home right now, and they’re taking Gracie with them for a couple of days. Don’t worry about her getting to school, Bobby is taking her tomorrow and Thursday, and Gabe is coming to take her Friday since Bobby is the one opening the shop that day.”

“Gabe? Really?” Cas asked, surprised.

“Yes. He’s been coming around while we’ve been gone, helping with stuff like shoveling the snow and spending time with Gracie.” Dean replied.

“Huh.” 

“What does that mean?” Dean was laying on his side as close to Cas as he could manage without pressing directly against him and risking hurting his injured ribs.

“I’m just…surprised. He really seems to be making an effort.” Cas reached for the blankets and Dean helped pull them up and over him.

“Try and get some rest baby, you need it.” Dean kissed his husband’s temple before settling back down next to him. He took Cas’ hand again.

“Yeah, and you too. I know you’ve barely slept this past week.” Cas squeezed his hand. Dean sighed. He really was exhausted.

“Ok. When we get up I’ll get started on dinner.”

“Lasagna?” Cas asked hopefully.

Dean chuckled. “If that’s what you want.”

“I really do. I’m sort of tired of fruit and fish.” Cas replied.

“Me too.” Dean agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you liked this chapter. Leave a comment, you know I love them, and I love you guys!


	47. Good News and Then Some More Good News (For Cas at least!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas are settling back into a routine at home again and enough time passes for Cas to start healing. Sam stops by with some good new for both of them, and some good news that Cas is just a bit more excited about than Dean is. Plus Cas has exciting news of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize, you all love me and I've been neglecting you, but not on purpose. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now. Issues with my mom and her insurance are persisting, I'm writing another book (third in The Bloodborne Chronicles Series, though book 2 isn't out yet it's been finished for over a year now), and somehow I managed to tear something in my foot that has made walking incredibly painful. A little known tidbit about me is that a lot of family has a genetic condition calls EDS or Ehler's Danlos Syndrome. There are 3 different varieties and thankfully, my family has the least severe kind. But it means the connective tissues do not form right which leads to extreme double jointedness (which is good for entertainment when you're a kid and can bend yourself in half, but not so cool when it's causing you arthrtis before you're thirty, which is what it did to me), loose joints, constant subluxation or dislocating joints, and other issues. My biggest problem is tearing ligaments and tendons and constant (I do mean constant) joint dislocation. I dislocated my index finger a few weeks back just typing on my keyboard. And a couple days back I dislocated it again getting out of a car, I got my fingers tangled in the strap on my purse and it pulled my finger out of place. Sad thing is, the purse wasn't heavy, nor was it very big. That one didn't hurt thank goodness! But my foot is KILLING ME. I did something to the arch. Pretty sure I tore it, just under my ankle. It even hurts to the touch. And that would be just from walking a lot in shoes that don't properly support my arches. Yay! It's FUN to be me! Lol. But I don't have it as bad as my cousins. They have it so much worse. My worst problem this year is having my skull dislocate from the top of my spine and causing me blinding migraines that made me think I was dying. That started right after I began working out at the gym. I had to work to strengthen my neck and that helped a lot. I'm so used to it and all the nerve damage it has caused though. Yet still I write. If anyone is interested in eith of the books I've put out so far, let me know. I'm so darn proud that I finally overcame my own self doubt and published. The artwork on the cover of both books is mine as well. It will be on the next one too. 
> 
> I do hope you like this chapter! I love you guys!

Dean called Cas’ school to explain what had happened and they were sympathetic. His teachers arranged for notes to be taken and Dean stopped by the college to pick up all of the work. The healing was slow and while his neck was the biggest concern, it was the ribs that bothered Cas the most. He couldn’t get comfortable at night with a neck brace on and he wasn’t used to sleeping on his back so most nights he lay away, staring at the ceiling and thinking up lyrics for new songs. By the time he got the ok to take the brace off for anything longer than a shower, he’d written two new songs. By the time his ribs healed, he had three more. 

Life was starting to finally return to normal. They had a routine, Dean hadn’t had any episodes in over a month, his therapy was going good, and Cas was finally starting to take in students. He had two snarky thirteen year olds who were convinced they could never learn to play the piano, until his two year old daughter sat down and played not one, but two full songs that he had taught her. He flat out told them that if she could learn to play, so could they. And since then their attitudes had changed. Progress was being made and he was proud, of them and of himself as a teacher. 

It was a warm Friday in March when Dean came home from work, tired but in a pretty good mood. After an enthusiastic greeting from his daughter he made his way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. 

“Oh babe, you’re home!” Cas came walking in the kitchen and stopped to kiss him.

“How were classes?” Dean asked.

“Today they seemed to go on forever. But guess what?” Cas was brimming with excitement and it made Dean smile.

“What?”

“So Balthazar got us a gig tonight. First one since we got back. Now, guess where?” Cas was almost bouncing with excitement.

“I have no idea.” Dean laughed.

“The Roadhouse! The band Ellen had scheduled for tonight, the lead singer came down with food poisoning last night and can’t perform, so she called Balthazar. She said she tried to reach me but I must have been in class or something. I’m itching to sing babe!”

“Does this mean we need to find a sitter?” Dean asked.

“Yes it does, and I already lined one up. So, grade whatever you have to grade, take a hot shower, and put on the clothes I bought you because my sexy ass husband is sitting front row!”

Dean was grinning so hard his cheeks hurt but he couldn’t stop. He loved when Cas was this enthusiastic.

“Sounds good. I don’t have much to grade, just some pop quizzes, so I should be done soon.”

“Good. I laid your clothes out on the bed.” With that Cas turned on his heels and walked out of the room. Dean watched him go with an amused expression. It was last minute but he was glad Cas was getting the chance to sing with the band again. He knew they’d tried to do a few performances without him but they hadn’t gotten very good reviews. Cas was an integral part of them and they knew that.

Dean had put a pot roast in the crock pot before work and the smell filled the house and made his stomach rumble as he hurried to grade the quizzes. When they were finished he stuffed them in his bag and went about getting dinner on the table. Gracie had migrated to the sun porch but she came back when she heard the sound of the dishes being taken out of the cabinet.

“I help daddy?” She asked. He handed her the plates one at a time for her to put on the table but carried the silverware over himself. He just saw too many ways that could go wrong, especially after he’d watched her trip over her own feet a few nights earlier while trying to help set the table.

“Go get papa, ok?” He told her once they had everything on the table. She ran out of the room like a bullet. When she returned, she was holding Cas’ hand tightly.

“You know, that pot roast has been driving me nuts all day, it smells so good.” Cas said as he helped Gracie into her booster seat. They had decided to do away with the high chair finally.

“I almost couldn’t get through grading, my stomach was growling so much.” Dean admitted.

“Let’s eat then, I’m starving!” Cas exclaimed.

After dinner Cas rinsed the dishes while Gracie loaded the dishwasher. Once she had it loaded he went back through he organized it better so the tray would actually slide into place properly. Dean busied himself with putting away the leftovers and wiping everything down. Afterwards Cas took Gracie to go practice on the piano. Soon Dean could hear the soft notes of Amazing Grace spilling out of Cas’ studio. It made him smile. He was just about to head upstairs and take a shower when the doorbell rang. Back tracking he made his way to the front door.

“Sammy, hey.” He greeted his brother.

“Hey, I have some good news.” Sam said as he walked in the house.

“Good news? I like good news.”

“Then you’ll really like the first part.” Sam moved over to the couch and Dean followed him. The music had stopped in mid song and the sound of tiny feet padding down the hall rang out.

“Unca Sam!” Gracie exclaimed as she flew into her uncle’s arms. He scooped the little girl up and kissed her cheek.

“Hey sweetheart, how are you?” 

“I’m good.” She shrugged before sliding out of his lap and leaving to go out on the sunporch.

“Well then.” Sam laughed.

“She’s just not feeling it today.” Dean laughed.

“I guess not.” Sam couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“Hey Sam.” Cas said as he came in the room. He sat down next to Dean. “What brings you by?”

“I came with good news. Well, two bits of good news actually.” Sam replied.

“Ok, well, shoot then.” Dean waved his hand, urging his brother to elaborate.

“Ok, so the criminal case against Doug is done. He was found guilty of assault but not attempted murder. He’s going away for no less than eighteen months, it’s on his permanent record, and I filed a restraining order for you both. I pushed the judge for the maximum, and apparently the judge didn’t like Doug’s attitude because he sentenced him to the full three years, but he’s eligible for parole after eighteen months.” 

Cas frowned at Dean. They had opted to stay out of the chaos, save for having to testify, and neither man was satisfied with a measly three years.

“I put through the lawsuit though. Everything looks good with that. I’m not handling that one though, my boss is, and he’s relentless. You’re not walking away empty handed, trust me.” Sam had a vicious smirk on his lips that reminded Dean that yes, his brother actually was a lawyer and when need be, he could ruthless.

“Well that much is good I guess.” Cas sighed.

“I have more good news, though it’s probably more to your liking, Cas.” Sam’s face relaxed into the familiar goofy grin they both knew so well.

“Oh yeah?”

Sam glanced nervously at his brother before speaking. “I, uh, have been talking to a breeder. She has some new pups, but she has two older ones that no one wanted last litter. Nothing is wrong with them, she just didn’t sell them. They’re five months old, a brother and a sister. I’m going down to see them tomorrow afternoon. I was wondering if one or both of you wanted to come with.”

Even Cas looked over at Dean before opening his mouth to say anything. Of course Dean knew the subject of getting a dog had not been dropped. It was just a matter of time before it came up again, and here it was. He sighed deeply and shrugged.

“What do you want to do?” He asked his husband. Cas was practically bouncing up and down in his seat like a little kid.

“I want to go and see them!”

Dean chuckled and turned his gaze back on his brother. “What time tomorrow? I don’t want to bring Gracie just yet, she’ll throw a fit if we decide we don’t want one. So you both know…” He turned a hard gaze on Cas for this part. “We’re not coming home with it tomorrow. If we like one of them we need to buy everything we need for it and then bring Gracie back. It won’t do us any good to fall in love with a pup that can’t stand kids, or more importantly our kid.”

Cas nodded in agreement. Dean suspected the man would agree to electroshock therapy if that’s what it took to get a dog. 

“Of course, that makes perfect sense. And I’ve been watching a lot of videos online about training, housing, and feeding them too. If we feed the dog a higher protein, lower carb diet, it will poop less, and the poop won’t stink nearly as much.”

Dean stared at his husband for a second. Apparently the man really had been doing his research.

“Good, so long as it gets cleaned up regularly and no one tracks it back into the house, I’m good.”

“I’ll get started on a dog run right away.” Cas said. Dean wanted to argue that they didn’t even have the dog yet, but he liked to be prepared and since there was no way to get around that, it was probably a good idea to invest in the dog run and set the area up now so that they had one less thing to do when it came time to bring a dog home.

“Yeah, good idea.” He conceded. The look of pure joy on his husband’s face was enough to calm him for the moment. He was sure he’d stress out over it later, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad owning a dog after all. 

“So, I guess I’ll see you guys in the morning then? Sam said, getting to his feet.

“Actually, my band is playing tonight at The Roadhouse, why don’t you and Jess come on down? Free tickets.” Cas said as he stood up. 

“Yeah, that would be awesome. I’ve been wanting to hear your band for a while now.” Sam was grinning excitedly, thrilled with the idea of getting out of the house for the night.

“Our set starts at ten. Before us is this cheesy little country band, I forget the name, but they’re not too bad, even if they do play country.” Cas snickered. Dean stood up and elbowed him lightly.

“Hey now, be nice.”

“I will. I have to go and start getting ready. Sitter will be here in about an hour, so why don’t you start getting the diva to wind down for bed?” Cas asked Dean. 

“Yeah, ok. But I still need to take a shower.”

Cas walked Sam to the door and said goodbye while Dean collected Gracie and took her upstairs for her bath. He rushed it along a bit in order to have her settled in bed before the sitter arrived. It dawned on him as he got her tucked in and she was starting to yawn that he had no idea who Cas had arranged to have come babysit. Once Gracie was asleep he went in search of his other half, locating him in the bedroom. Cas was trying to tame his hair to no avail.

“No baby, wild is hot.” Dean came up behind him and messed up everything he had just tried to comb down.

“Really? I just got it to cooperate!” Cas complained.

“You looked silly. Everyone knows your hair is crazy. It’s a big part of your appeal.” Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. He was wearing a black tank that showed off parts of the wing tattoo and all of the arm ones. Dean hugged him a little tighter.

“You ok?” Cas turned around in his arms to look him in the eye.

“I am, actually. I’m in a really good mood right now. And maybe a little horny, but nothing I can do about that right now.” Dean said with a wagging of his eyebrows. Cas snorted before bursting out laughing.

“We don’t have the time for that, but trust me, the feeling is mutual.” He wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and kissed him slowly.

“Tease.” Dean complained when he finally pulled back.

“Not really since you know you’re getting it later.” Cas winked and pushed him off towards the bathroom. “Go take your shower.”

From the bathroom doorway Dean paused and turned back to look at him.

“Who did you get to babysit tonight?”

“Oh, actually, Benny and his girlfriend are coming to watch Gracie.”

“Oh, cool.” Dean ducked into the bathroom to shower. When he came out he noticed the clothes Cas had left out for him. They were new, and the jeans would definitely show off his ass. With a happy smile he got dressed, pausing to look in the full length mirror. The shirt hugged his chest and showed off his muscles and the jeans did the same with his thighs and ass. Basically he was wearing what Cas fantasized about him in. It made him laugh, but he had to admit, he looked damn good. 

Cas had even gone so far as to select his shoes, and once he had them on he did a quick styling of his hair and slapped on the cologne Cas loved for him to wear before heading downstairs. He followed the voices to the living room where he found Cas chatting with Benny and Andrea.

“Wow Dean, looking good there.” Andrea said, taking in his outfit.

“I picked that out. Bought it this afternoon for him. And you do look hot babe.” Cas was staring hard at him, and Dean was amused by the hungry look in his eyes.

“I do look pretty good. And I get to show off too.” He teased. Cas shot him an annoyed look that only made him smile wider.

“So Gracie’s in bed and she doesn’t usually wake during the night. If she does, it’s to use the potty. No snacks, and try to refrain from giving her more than a sip of water or she’ll have an accident.” Cas told their friends.

“She’ll be fine. You guys go out and enjoy your evening.” Andrea told them. Cas got up from his seat on the couch and started for the door. He had put a dark blue dress shirt on over the black tank and Dean was sad to see the beautiful tattoos all covered up. He loved looking at the ink on his husband’s skin. Dean followed him to the door, grabbing both of their jackets and helping Cas into his.

“Ready for some fun?” Cas asked.

“Hell yes!” Dean replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, and I'm sorry about that, but it's relatively fluffy. I'll get another chapter up as soon as possible. Leave a comment, I love you guys!!!


	48. Live at the Roadhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys and I feel guilty because I didn't put up chapters for a few days, so here you go.
> 
> It's performance time at The Roadhouse, and Cas gets Dean up on stage with him.
> 
> Dean also encounters an overly enthusiastic fan of his husband's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Assholes abound, so don't get too upset. ;)

To Dean’s surprise the bar was absolutely packed, and Cas’ band didn’t even start for another hour. He parted ways with Cas to head up to the bar while Cas went back to meet up with Balthazar and get their equipment unloaded. Most of it had moved to Balthazar’s new place, but Cas kept a lot of it too. He was relieved as he reached the bar and saw Laura, Balthazar’s fiancée sitting there. She smiled when she spotted him.

“Hey!” She held her arms out and he gave her a big hug.

“Hey yourself. You hiding up here too?” He asked. The old man sitting next to Laura got up and he quickly took the empty seat.

“You know it.” She laughed. Jo was behind the counter and Dean flagged her down.

“Hi!” She greeted him.

“Hey Jo, can you bring Laura and I a couple of drinks? Just a beer for me and whatever she wants.” He told her.

“Sangria, if you don’t mind.” Laura told her. Jo nodded and got the drinks faster than he expected for as busy as the place was.

“Where’s your mom?” He asked.

“Out there somewhere, serving tables. She left me back here.” Jo replied.

“Do you guys need help?” He looked around and realized the place was getting busier by the minute.

“No, mom has like four more people about to come on shift. You’ll just be in the way, but thanks.” She winked and moved down the bar to help someone else. Dean sipped at his beer and looked out over the crowd.

“So how’s married life treating you? I haven’t seen you in forever.” Laura said as she sipped at her wine.

“It’s great. We’re both busy. Cas is doing great in school and has taken on a couple of snotty teenagers for piano lessons. But…they’re learning, so he’s happy. I’ll be glad when this school year is over.” 

She nodded. “I can only imagine. Balthazar’s been working double shifts in order to save up enough for the wedding, and I’ve been taking on as many extra shifts as possible too. It’s exhausting and we barely seen one another, but we know it’s not forever.”

“It’s nice that you got away to come watch the guys tonight.” He told her.

The corners of her lips turned up in a playful smile. “Like I’d miss my baby performing.”

“Same here. Cas is too damn hot to not come and stare at.” He said with a chuckle.

They chatted for a bit until she excused herself to use the bathroom. He finished off the last of the beer he’d been nursing (one that he was NOT going to tell Cas he’d drank, lest he get chewed out for drinking while on medication), and ordered a coke. Twenty minutes passed and Laura still had not returned so he gave up on holding her seat for her. It only took a few seconds for someone else to approach it.

“Is this seat taken?” A girl with huge gray eyes asked him.

“Not anymore. She left and didn’t come back, so it’s all yours.” He motioned towards the seat and she quickly sat down.

“Thanks. I’m just glad I managed to get down here for this performance. The next band up is fantastic.” She told him. He bit down on his lip to keep from laughing.

“Yeah, they are.”

“You’ve seen them before?” She asked as she flagged Ash down. He had showed up fifteen minutes earlier and was rushing to fill orders just as Jo and Nena, another girl that had been called in were trying to do.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve seen them before.” The girl amused him.

“The lead singer is soooo hot. I come to every performance they do just to see him. Have you seen that body? I can only imagine where else he’s pierced. He’s the hottest thing on two legs!” She gushed. Ash arrived and she rattled off some fruity drink that Dean only heard half the name of. He wanted to crack up laughing, this entire encounter was hilarious.

“You must really like him, huh?” He sipped at his coke so she wouldn’t see the stupid grin on his face.

“Oh God yes! It’s my goal in life to get in that man’s pants.” She stated so matter-of-factly it took every ounce of his willpower not to fall down on the floor in a fit of giggles. Instead he put on his most serious expression.

“Would you like to join me at my table later? I have one reserved right at the front. You’ll get a better view of the band that way.” 

The way her face lit up at his offer just about did him in.

“Really?” He nodded and stuck out his right hand.

“I’m Dean.”

“Phoebe.” She replied enthusiastically. If he had to wager a guess she was probably just barely twenty one.

“I was just getting ready to head to my table. You ready?” He asked as Ash handed her the fruity concoction he had created and she paid for it.

“Yeah!”

Dean found his brother and Jess already waiting at the table for him. Sam cocked his head when he saw the girl walking with him.

“Hey guys, this is Phoebe, she’s a huge fan of Cas.” Dean said. The tone of his voice and the amused expression on his face told Sam that Dean thought her little crush was hilarious.

“He’s a cutie, isn’t he?” Jess had already caught on and was playing along.

“She says her goal in life is to get in his pants.” Dean told her. Sam, who had been taking a sip of his beer started to choke. Jess hurried to pat him on the back.

“So that’s my brother Sam and his fiancée Jess. Oh, and here comes Laura.” He held a hand out to her and offered her the fourth seat. Phoebe was left standing but she didn’t seem to mind.

“What happened to you?” He asked her as she sat down.

“I’m sorry, I got a phone call from work that I had to take. They can’t do anything without me.” She sighed and rolled her eyes. When she noticed Phoebe standing next to Dean’s seat she looked to Dean for an explanation.

“Oh, see, after you left, Phoebe came and sat down. Turns out she’s a huge fan of the band. Has the hots for the lead singer, Cas. Really wants to get to know him, if you know what I mean.” He winked and Laura’s eyes widened.

“Oh, is that so?” She looked Phoebe up and down before planting a smile on her face. “I happen to be engaged to the drummer, Balthazar, so I know Cas. I really don’t think you’re his type, I’m sorry to say.” 

“I can be. I know I can! He’s so gorgeous.” Her gray eyes drifted towards the stage where Cas and the keyboardist Van were plugging in the amps. Balthazar was setting up his drums and Steve, the other bassist was setting up the mics. Phoebe’s eyes were riveted to Cas’ ass as he bent over. Dean looked around the packed bar and realized that nearly every single woman in the place (and a few that weren’t single) had their eyes locked on his husband’s ass. It was absolutely the most hysterical thing he had ever seen in his life. He looked at Laura who was clearly struggling not to burst out laughing and realized that was a huge mistake, so he watched as Cas got things ready. 

“Test, one, two, one two.” Cas said into the mic and Dean about lost it again when Phoebe actually sighed just hearing Cas speak. Sam did snort but quickly covered it with a cough. Jess’ expression was almost painful as she kept her eyes locked on her bottle of beer. Cas looked up, spotted Dean and winked. Dean winked back, not that Phoebe noticed. She was too busy gaping.

“Oh my God, he’s soooo perfect!” She gushed. 

Laura put the back of her hand against her mouth but Dean could see her body shaking with laughter.

“Alright guys and gals, let’s get this show on the road!” Cas announced, and then began playing.

The first song the band played was one of the news ones Cas had written and it seemed to go over quite well with the crowd. Dean bobbed his head to the beat as he was more than just familiar with it. He mouthed the words under his breath and looked over at Sam who gave a thumbs up. He liked the song too. The second song was one the band had played before but it was a favorite of Dean’s. Apparently it was a favorite of Phoebe’s too for she stood next to him, belting it out at the top of her lungs. Up on stage Cas looked over at their table rather frequently and his puzzled expression was priceless when he saw how enthusiastic Phoebe was over the music. The band played another three songs before Cas handed his guitar over to Steve.

“So, how is everyone doing tonight?” He asked. The cheers were almost deafening. Cas smiled brightly at their reaction.

“That’s awesome! We’re thrilled to be here tonight!” Another loud reaction and a full two minutes of clapping ensued before he could continue.

“So, not many of you know this, but a couple members of the band have been busy over the last year. It’s a big reason why we haven’t been performing as much. It’s not that we don’t love our fans, because we do, we love you guys to the moon and back, but…life has to take a priority too.” More cheers from the crowd.

“I’d like everyone to meet the lovely Laura Benedict who is sitting right here.” He pointed to their table. Laura raised a hand and waived as the spotlight fell on her. “She is engaged to this old coot back here on the drums. Let’s give it up for Balthazar and Laura!”

Another deafening reaction from the crowd. Balthazar motioned for Laura to come up on stage, so she did. Someone wolf whistled and she threw a flirty smile back across the crowd. Balthazar stepped up to the mic when Cas moved back.

“This lovely lady is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and though I can be a total ass, she has stuck by me for years now, and she deserves the world. Thank you, love. You are my everything and I look forward to the day I can call you my wife.” He leaned in to kiss her and the crowd let out one collective “Awwww” before bursting into applause again. Laura hurried off the stage and back over to the table.

“You guys are so cute together.” Phoebe told her.

“Thank you. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Laura blushed and smiled as the words left her lips.

“So, more good news!” Cas was saying. The crowd fell silent again. He looked out over the room before his eyes drifted once more to Dean.

“Most of you are unaware that the day before Christmas I married the love of my life.” Every woman in the room gasped. Dean snorted.

“He got married?” Dean was pretty sure Phoebe was about to cry.

“Marriage, it’s an interesting thing. You have to learn to think about not only yourself, but about the other person, and while I thought that was going to be hard, it really wasn’t. I found the person I want to wake up to every day for the rest of my life, who brings more light and joy into my life than anything ever has before, including my music. Before we actually tied the knot we became parents too. We have a gorgeous little girl that has stolen both our hearts. It’s been a busy year for us. I decided it was time to go to college, so I did. We bought a house, and we’re getting a dog. We’ve had some ups and downs, but it’s nothing we can’t work through together. I would like to introduce you all to the most important person in my life, my reason for getting up every morning, and the other half of my soul.” Cas’ eyes locked on Dean and he held out a hand.

“My husband, Dean.”

At first the clapping was weak, all the women were in utter shock, but then it gained force until it was ten times more deafening than what Balthazar and Laura had received. As Dean stepped away from the table he noted the look of absolute shock on Phoebe’s face. With a huge grin on his face he hurried up onto the stage and pulled Cas into his arms. The kiss they shared earned them an even louder applause.

“He’s fucking…GAY?”! Phoebe finally gasped.

“Oh…honey…Cas is as gay as the day is long.” Laura said, her voice sympathetic. Phoebe’s eyes were wide and full of shock and as the people at the table watched, they slowly filled with reluctant resignation.

“You honestly didn’t know he was gay?” Meg appeared, slipping into Dean’s empty seat.

“No, I didn’t!” Phoebe snapped angrily as her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, don’t go getting angry at me, I’m just the messenger.” Meg laughed. 

“So, now that you’ve met this gorgeous man that I’m lucky enough to call my husband, I have a surprise for you that I hope Dean will go along with.” Cas turned to look at Dean, with a huge smile on his face.

“You want me to sing, don’t you?” Dean asked with a laugh. The audience started cheering loudly.

“I do. I’d love it if you would play the song you sung to me on our honeymoon.” Cas asked. The crowd cheered again.

“Are you ever going to tire of that song?” Dean asked, his smile growing even wider. There was so much love in Cas’ eyes right then it made his heart ache.

“Never. Will you?”

“For you, anything.” Dean leaned in, kissing him once more. It was just a quick peck on the lips but apparently it got the audience excited. Steve appeared handing Dean a very familiar looking guitar.

“You brought mine from the house?” Dean asked, surprised. Cas nodded as he pulled a stool over from the corner and placed it in front of the mic. Dean took the guitar, slipping the strap over his head as Cas lowered the mic.

“This is an oldie but a goodie, and I planned out this whole romantic dinner at this restaurant that overlooked the ocean. We ate and then I excused myself to go use the bathroom. I grabbed my guitar and came back playing this. This song first played in my mind right after we started dating and after it did I just couldn’t get it out of my mind. It describes how I feel about him. Cas called me the other half of his soul before and that is exactly how I feel about him. I wasn’t truly living until he came into my life, and now that he’s in it, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.” He smiled up at Cas who was busy wiping tears from his eyes as the crowd awed over how cute they were. 

“Stop making me cry!” Cas admonished, but there was no heat behind it. He had a big, goofy smile on his face as he reached out to caress Dean’s cheek. “Come on, show everyone how talented you are, babe.”

Dean began to strum on the guitar, the familiar song filling the space. Murmurs of recognition filled the room as people realized what he was playing. When he opened his mouth to start singing the room fell silent. He looked over at his brother who was smiling. Sam nodded and gave him a thumbs up as he slipped an arm around Jess. She was wiping tears from her eyes. So was Laura. Phoebe was surprisingly still standing at the table shooting daggers in his direction. He smiled when he spotted Meg at the table. She smiled and motioned towards Phoebe. He smiled wider and sang with even more feeling as he turned to look at Cas. He sang the last verse a little louder, his green eyes locked on the face of the man he loved until the last chord played out. When he finished the crowd erupted in applause again and it felt good to hear it. He smiled as he looked at all the faces watching him. His own turn out when he performed was, if he was lucky, a third as large as this crowd was.

“Your husband is hot, Cas!” A woman yelled. Cas burst out laughing.

“I know!” He yelled back. “Who wants to hear Dean sing with the band?”

The room erupted in cheers. Cas looked down at Dean. “You game, babe?”

Dean shrugged. “Sure. I’ve always wanted to play with a real band.” 

Dean accompanied on vocals with the next few songs the band played, all were the originals Cas had been coming up with over the last few months. He knew all the words, and he knew the songs were all about him. It was an indescribable feeling knowing that music had been written about him. The last song he accompanied on was on that Cas had written special for Gracie. He had titled it “ _A Father’s Love_ ” and Dean thought it was beautiful. When Dean finally stepped down from the stage he felt like he was floating. Later tonight he was going to show Cas just how appreciative he was of having been included in tonight’s performance.

When Dean returned to his seat he was not surprised to see that Phoebe was gone. Meg stood up long enough for Dean to sit back down and then sat down in his lap.

“Hey!” He laughed.

“Hush, there’s not enough seats, and you’re squishy.” She patted the side of his thigh before leaning forward and putting her elbows on the table. He was glad she wasn’t sitting all the way back on his lap was but was instead barely balanced on his knees. Before he’d started dating Cas she wouldn’t have thought twice about plopping down on his lap and grinding down against him just to mess with him, but she was different now. She saw him as family, and he saw her that way too. When their set finally ended they got a standing ovation. When Cas came down into the crowd he was met by people eager to congratulate him, and Dean had people approaching him as well. Meg had left to get a drink before the show was over and had not yet returned. Cas made his way over to the table and grabbed Dean’s coke.

“I’ll get you a water, babe.” Dean said as he got up. He motioned for Cas to sit while he went up to the bar. Jo spotted him and he motioned for two waters. 

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” 

Dean sighed and turned around to see Phoebe standing there glaring at him. “Why, because you made an assumption about my husband?”

“You could have said he was your husband.” She stomped her foot and thrust her hands on her hips. Now he was just tired of this little girl.

“I didn’t have to volunteer any information. Besides, I wasn’t the one objectifying a man I didn’t know. Clearly you didn’t see him as anything other than an attractive man, and you didn’t bother to actually get to know him. I did. I saw him as the fantastic person that he is, and I saw beyond the looks. That’s why I am the one lucky enough to have captured his heart. Next time you want to try and gain a man’s interest, try seeing him as a person first.” He took the water bottles and left a pissed off Phoebe standing there staring after him.

“Oh, thank you!” Cas gasped as Dean opened the top on one of the bottles and handed it over. He accepted the bottle and drained most of it in one go.

“You were awesome.” Sam was saying. Cas nodded. 

“Thank you.” 

“Your voice is beautiful, Dean.” Jess said. He smiled at her.

“Was that the first time you heard me sing?” 

“No, but it’s been a long time. I hadn’t heard you sing since a few months after I started dating Sam and you played at that coffee shop on Main. This though? You were made to sing like you did tonight. It was wonderful.” She told him.

“Thanks.” He felt the heat rising in his cheeks at the compliment. Cas pulled him close and wrapped his arms around him.

“Mmm, I love singing with you, you know that? Your voice is so sexy.” He murmured against Dean’s ear.

“Yeah, well, that same sentiment is applied to you.” Dean kissed him.

“Aww, you guys are disgustingly cute.” Meg said dryly as she sauntered back to the table. Her new boyfriend Drew was with her.

“Didn’t see you earlier.” Cas said to the man. Drew laughed at that.

“Yeah, well, it’s not like I could have found a seat. I don’t think Dean wanted me in his lap too.”

“No way, but Sam would have let you!” Dean barked out a laugh. Even Sam laughed.

Cas finished off the rest of the water bottle before opening the second one.

“You coming mate?” Balthazar called from the stage.

Cas sighed and stood up. “Yeah, coming.”

“We’re coming too.” Sam said as he stood up. Dean was already walking towards the stage.

“You guys are slow, let’s go!” He called back to his brother and husband.

“Yes sir!” Sam nudged Cas as they walked up the steps to the stage.

“Someone’s eager to get home.” He teased. Cas smacked Dean’s butt as he went to unplug the amp.

“He’s not the only one!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, the point of this chapter is to show that it's not only men that can be objectifying and think like that. Dean could have been a dick, but he chose to rise above that. He also could have told her right away that that was his husband she was talking about, but he chose to let her dig herself a big old hole, and then fall face first into it. Let's just hope she learned the lesson he tried to teach her.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter though, I worked on it for HOURS. Comment, let me know what you think, I am off to bed...


	49. The After Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas get their groove on when they get home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this wasn't my favorite chapter. I read it and reread it, but I wasn't sure how to rewrite it, so I just left it. Ah well...

“That felt amazing tonight.” Cas said as they made their way into the house.

“I have to agree. That was pretty cool letting me sing with you guys. I had a lot of fun.” Dean shut the door and shrugged out of his coat.

“I felt bad about putting you on the spot like that but I know you have a fantastic voice, and you looked so damn hot tonight.” Cas said as he eyed his husband’s ass. The jeans had been the best part of his entire plan. Watching Dean walk up onto the stage and then climb back down them again to go back to the table had been the icing on an otherwise wonderful cake. Suddenly he remembered something.

“Who was that girl at the table with you tonight?” He asked as he hung his own coat up and took off his shoes. Dean was sitting on the bench by the door unlacing his own shoes and he looked up with a frown.

“Oh, only your biggest fan. Little twit.” He growled.

“What?” Cas asked, amused by Dean’s reaction.

“So while that other band was playing I was talking to Laura up by the bar. Just having a nice conversation when she left to go to the bathroom. She didn’t come back so I stopped holding her seat. This girl comes walking up. Headful of hair blonder than even Jess’ and huge eyes. First words out of her mouth were about you and how hot you were and how she was determined to get in your pants. At first I found her amusing, but by the time I went to get your water, she wasn’t so funny anymore. Called me an asshole for not telling her up front you were my husband. I told her I didn’t have to tell her shit. I also told her not to go around objectifying people, especially if she wants to have any kind of chance with them. Not that she ever had a snowball’s chance in hell of being with you, but that’s beside the point.” Dean stood up and started for the living room. Cas followed.

“You’re right. One more thing on the list of stuff we need to teach Gracie not to do.” He sighed. 

“Damn right. I don’t want my kids growing up to be little shits like that one was.” Dean agreed.

Kids? The smile that lit up Cas’ face was surprising.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Nothing. But you’re absolutely right.” 

Benny and Andrea were stretched out on the couch watching a movie when they walked in.

“So how was the concert?” Andrea asked as she sat up.

“It was fantastic. I’ll show you later.” Cas told her as he collapsed into an armchair.

“What do you mean you’ll show her later?” Dean asked as he sat down on the couch.

“I mean I had the entire thing videotaped. I’d like for it to put the video up online. It’s good publicity for the band.” Cas was busy unbuttoning his shirt and not looking up at Dean.

“Before you do, can I show the video to the principal? I want to make sure it won’t put my job on the line.” 

Cas’ head shot up. “Oh, I didn’t even think about that! I’m sorry babe! If need be I can edit out where you perform, or the speech I gave and just have it so it looks like you sang with the band.”

“I’ll ask. I loved your speech.” Dean said with a grin.

“Speech?” Benny asked, cocking an eyebrow curiously.

“I’ll send you the video in an email.” Cas told him.

“He introduced me to his fans and professed his undying love to me.” Dean clutched at his chest and fluttered his eyelids.

“Shut up.” Cas laughed and tossed a pillow at him, hitting him in the head.

“You guys are a hoot, I swear.” Benny said with a chuckle.

“Did she wake up at all?” Dean asked them.

“Once to pee, but she went right back to sleep.” Andrea replied.

“Good. Thank you guys so much. Next performance, you guys are coming. We’ll get another sitter.” Cas promised.

“That’d be awesome. Since Dean first started dating you he raved about your music. I’m dying to hear you guys, especially if Dean’s up there singing with you guys.” Benny said as he got to his feet. He pulled Andrea up with him.

“We’re heading home. You guys have a good night.” He said as they started for the door.

Cas got up and walked them out before returning to the living room. His eyebrows shot up when he saw that Dean had stripped out of the tight tee shirt and was sitting on the couch wearing nothing but his jeans.

“Damn, babe.” He muttered. 

“You’re wearing too much clothing.” Dean stood up and stripped Cas’ dress shirt off before pulling the tank top off as well.

Cas was immediately on board with Dean’s mission to strip down. He paused long enough to make sure he wasn’t hearing any sounds coming from the second floor before he attacked his husband’s belt and practically tore it from his jeans. Nimble fingers had the jeans unzipped and pooling around Dean’s ankles a few seconds later. Touching lightly, he traced the tattoo of his name that rested in a curve under Dean’s left pectoral muscle. He’d never loved any piece of art as much as he did this one.

“Here or the bedroom?” Dean asked as he pushed Cas’ pants down. His mouth was working magic on the sensitive skin of his neck and shoulder making it next to impossible for Cas to think straight.

“Ahh….here! About time we broke in this couch!” Cas gasped as Dean slid a hand down the front of his briefs and began to stroke him.

“I like the sound of that, however…I am going to ruin the moment by leaving to grab the bottle of lube I have hidden down here. Didn’t need Ellen or Bobby finding it!” Dean said with a short laugh. Cas whined as Dean pulled his hand away and walked out of the room. He reappeared a minute later with two towels and a bottle of lube.

“Not ruining our expensive couch.” Dean grinned as he laid out one of the towels.

“Killing the moment here babe.” Cas teased, but he agreed. He didn’t want to pay to clean semen off their couch, or have to explain to anyone that might stop by why they needed their new couch cleaned so soon. Dean just gave an annoyed look before pushing Cas down onto the towel covered cushions.

Cas barely bounced on the soft cushions before Dean was straddling him and pressing their mouths together in a heated kiss. He moaned into it as Dean’s fingers found their way to his nipples, teasing and rolling them until they were almost painfully hard. His own fingers snagged in the waistband of Dean’s boxer briefs and pulled them as far down his thighs as he could get them before gripping the man’s ass and pulling him down against him. Dean lifted off of Cas long enough to get rid of his own underwear and to strip Cas of his. With Cas’ eyes riveted to his every move Dean poured some of the lube over his finger tips before sitting up. He slipped a hand down between his own legs and began to work himself open.

“Holy fuck, babe!” Cas gasped as he watched Dean. When he looked up he found lust blown green eyes looking down at him. He ached with need as he watched Dean adding a second finger and soon after a third one as well. 

“H-here. Use it on y-you.” Dean thrust the bottle he’d had a death grip on into Cas’ hands and the man hurried to apply a generous amount to his own throbbing cock.

“Ready?” Dean gasped as he withdrew his hand. Cas nodded eagerly.

“Hell yes!”

Dean chuckled as he got into position and slowly sunk down onto Cas’ length. He let out a long, low moan at how good it felt, burn and all. When he had finally bottomed out, he began to move. Cas let his head fall back again, his eyes fluttering shut as he focused on the sensation, the tight heat that enveloped him. Dean’s speed began to increase as he chased his orgasm down. His breathing sped up as his hips rocked, eliciting moans from Cas that sounded like music to his ears.

“Faster, baby, I want to see you come.” Cas’ eyes were wide open again as Dean grabbed the back of the couch with one hand and using leverage began to rise up and practically slam back down, taking Cas all the way to the hilt every time.

“Oh! My! God!” Cas gasped each word out as he came, harder than he had in ages. He grabbed Dean’s hips, pulling him down against him as he released everything he had. A wetness on his chest told him he wasn’t the only one that had come.

“Shit, did you come without being touched?” Cas asked as he slid carefully out. He got a wicked little grin in return.

 

He wasn’t ready for Dean to be away from him though and after he had wiped them both down with the clean towel he pulled his naked husband into his lap.

“I could hold you forever.” He sighed as he kissed his way up Dean’s neck, making the man shudder.

“These are some of my favorite moments, when we just sit together after sex. I love when you hold me.” Dean admitted.

“You know, in the past I always dated guys shorter than me. And like, skinny as a stick. You are the sexiest man I’ve ever had the privilege of being with, and I so very, glad you gave me a chance.”

Dean chuckled. “I went out with one guy shorter than me, but…mostly when I dated guys, they were built like Benny.”

“Seriously?” Cas was unable to stifle a surprised laugh. Dean buried his face against Cas’ neck.

“Yes. So what? I told you before, you’re gorgeous, and definitely the best looking guy I’ve ever dated. You know it’s about personality more than looks. I just…really, really lucked out with you.” 

“Nah, I’m nothing special baby. At least, I wasn’t until I met you.” Cas rubbed his nose against Dean’s jaw before nipping it lightly.

“You know, for as tough as you look with your piercings and tattoos, you’re the biggest sap I know.” Dean said affectionately.

“I’m sure I am, but you love it.” Cas was leaving marks across Dean’s chest and he could feel himself getting hard again.

“Baby, come on. Let’s take this upstairs. I don’t want to wear ourselves out here and end up falling asleep. Gracie doesn’t need to find our naked, hairy asses on display.” Dean stood up and pulled Cas up with him. They gathered their discarded clothing and started up the stairs.

“You think you can handle a second round?” Cas asked as he smacked Dean’s bare butt.

“Mmm…we never did get to try any of the toys you brought on our honeymoon.” Dean winked and dashed into the bedroom. Cas grinned and followed him in, closing the door behind him.

“Oh baby, you don’t know what you’re in for!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually ahead on writing these chapters, so I'll have another one up tomorrow. :)
> 
> Leave a comment and let me know what you think. I love you guys!


	50. An Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas wake the following morning to the doorbell ringing. When Dean makes his way downstairs he finds himself face to face with one of the last people he ever expected to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to get a little deep for this chapter. Seatbelts aren't needed, but you're not going to like their visitor.

Dean’s entire body ached the following morning but as he stretched he let out a moan of satisfaction. It was a good ache that he would be feeling for days. Downstairs the doorbell rang.

“Is that the door?” Cas was lying face down on the bed but he lifted his head at the sound of the chimes.

“That better be Ed McMahon with my Publisher winnings.” Dean grumbled as he rolled out of bed. He found his underwear where Cas had tossed them aside last night and shrugged them on.

“You’re going to answer the door like that?” Cas had rolled onto his side and was looking up at Dean with bleary eyes.

“I save the exhibitionism for you.” Dean grinned as he ducked into the bathroom and grabbed his robe. “Stay in bed. I’ll be back in a few once I see who’s at the door.”

Dean cinched the belt on his robe as he made his way down to the first floor. When he got to the door he looked first through the peephole. He didn’t recognize the woman standing on his doorstep. He opened the door a few inches and peeked out.

“Can I help you?”

The woman had been looking out across the street but she turned at the sound of the door opening. She smiled though Dean got the sense that she was nervous. There was something familiar about her. 

“Does, um, Castiel Novak live here?” She asked. 

“It’s Winchester.” He said. Her smile turned to a look of confusion.

“Excuse me?”

“His name is Castiel Winchester now. How can I help you?” He asked more firmly.

“Oh, my name is Naomi Novak. Castiel is my son.”

Dean was pretty sure the floor had fallen out from under him. The polite expression on his face faded immediately.

“You’re not welcome here.” 

“Please, I just want to speak to my son. Are-are you his…husband?” It almost looked painful for her to say the word.

“Yes, I am.” He replied. She reached out as thought wanting to touch him before pulling it away again.

“Please.” It came out as a whisper. He was torn. Cas didn’t like his parents, but he knew the man had at least some fondness for his mother, that he worried about what she thought of him. 

“I need to talk to Cas first. Come in, have a seat in the living room, but if he doesn’t want you here, you will be leaving without seeing him.” He waited for her to acknowledge what he’d just said before he opened the door more. 

“Thank you.” She said as she entered the house. He closed the door and motioned to the couch. 

“Have a seat. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.” She nodded, offering a small smile as she made her way over to the couch and sat down. He was glad he had taken the towels to the laundry room last night and not just left them. Once she was seated he went upstairs.

“Is that Sam?” Cas asked, rolling onto his back and stretching. One look at Dean’s face told him it was someone unwelcome. He sat up quickly.

“Are you ok?” 

Dean scratched at his chin as he tried to find a way to tell Cas who was waiting downstairs. After a full sixty seconds of thinking through every possible outcome he realized there was no way to sugar coat it.

“Uh, your…mom. She’s downstairs.”

Cas just stared at him.

“Babe, did you hear me?”

“No.” Cas snapped. He threw the covers back and marched into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Dean sighed heavily and went to his dresser. He dressed quickly.

“Do you want me to tell her to leave? I told her that if you didn’t want her here, I’d make her leave. I’ll go and tell her if that’s what you want.” He placed the palm of his hand against the closed door and leaned his forehead against it. 

“N-no. I’ll…talk to her. Can you just give me a minute?”

“Of course. Take as long as you need.” The bedroom door opened and Gracie came walking in rubbing her eyes.

“I need pancakes, daddy.” She declared.

“Oh you do, do you? What if you have pancakes over at Uncle Sam and Auntie Jess’ house?”

“And I have it wiffa tawberries?” She asked.

“If Uncle Sam has strawberries, then yes. Knowing him, he probably does. Go pick out your clothes.” He told her. She turned and hurried back to her own room. Dean grabbed his phone and shot off a text to his brother and to Jess, begging them to come and pick up Gracie in the next few minutes, and then he headed back downstairs.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Naomi was sitting in the living room exactly where he had left her. She looked up when he walked in.

“He has agreed to see you, but I’m telling you right now, if you try to hurt him, I’ll throw you of my house and I won’t have any regrets about it.” He crossed his arms and looked down at the woman sitting on his couch. She nodded weakly.

“I-I’m not here to hurt him, I swear.” 

He arched an eyebrow at her, clearly doubting what she was saying. 

“Would you like something to drink?” 

“Water, if that’s alright.” She replied.

Footsteps on the stairs told him Gracie was coming down. Naomi and Dean both turned as the little girl walked in the room. “I hava pancakes at Unca Sam’s?” She asked.

“If Uncle Sam doesn’t come to get you I’ll walk you over there and you can jump on his sleepy head, ok?” Dean smiled at his daughter and she beamed up at him.

“I has juice please?” 

“Your cup is in the fridge.” He told her. She disappeared to get it.

“You…have a child?” Naomi asked. Her eyes were still locked on the little girl as she tugged at the fridge door.

“She’s the first. We’re planning to have more.” He said.

“She’s beautiful.” 

The doorbell rang.

“Excuse me.” He went to the door and peered through the peephole. 

“Sammy.” He breathed out as he pulled the door open. Sam was sweaty, dressed in a tee shirt and running shorts.

“Everything ok?” Sam asked as Dean let him into the house.

“Cas’ mother decided to show up this morning.” Dean leaned in and whispered the words to him.

“Shit, she’s here?” Sam peered over his shoulder, frowning at the woman sitting on the couch.

“Yeah.” Dean gave him a warning look as he shut the door. “Where’s Jess?”

“Work.” Sam replied. “Where’s Gracie?”

“I here Unca Sam!” Gracie ran over and he scooped her up.

“Hey monkey, you have some juice for me too?” He asked as he ruffled her hair.

“Inna fidge. Papa has onange juice.” She replied.

“I love orange juice. Let’s go get some.” Sam took Gracie with him into the kitchen while Dean filled a glass of water to Naomi in the living room.

“We’ll be out of your hair in a minute.” Sam told his brother. Dean nodded.

“You has tawberries, Unca Sam? I want dem onna pancakes.” Gracie was telling her uncle.

“I do have strawberries, fresh ones. We can slice them up and put them on pancakes.” He told her. Dean handed Naomi the glass of of water and sat down across from her in the armchair.

“So why did you stop by? You’ve had nothing to do with him since you and your church shunned him. He’s not the same weak, obedient boy he was back then. He’s strong, independent, and talented. I’m not going to let you or anyone else in your family hurt him.” 

“Yes, you’ve said that already, and as I already said, I am not here to hurt him. I…left. My husband, the church, everything. Castiel was not the only person being controlled in that family. Anna walked away about five years ago and my son Rafael just left last year. Stepped down as pastor and left the church. My husband’s entire world is falling apart, and…I’m glad.” There was bitterness in her voice but it was her words that surprised him most of all. 

“You left? Are you divorcing him?” He asked.

“I had the papers served today. I decided that everything he made sure to take away from me over the years, I was taking back. It wasn’t only my children he took away from me, it was my two sisters, my parents, everyone that didn’t fit his ideals. I just wish I’d had the strength to leave years earlier.” She looked down at her hands and he realized she was not wearing a wedding band. Cas had once mentioned that she was never without her wedding band when he’d been growing up. No matter what, she had never taken it off. Now she sat across from him with both hands bare of any jewelry at all. 

Dean heard Cas’ feet on the stairs and felt him before he actually came around the corner. When he stepped into the room Dean stood up and Cas went to him, letting Dean wrap his arm protectively around his shoulder.

“Hello…mother.” Cas greeted Naomi. It was clear he was struggling with what to call her.

“Hello, Castiel.” She replied.

“We’re heading out guys. I’m taking her sippy cup with me. I’ll drop her by Ellen later.” Sam said as he started for the door.

“Wait, I want my kisses.” Cas said, and Sam brought Gracie over to him. 

“I love you papa. Imma have tawberries inna pancakes wif Unca Sam.” She told him as Cas kissed her forehead.

“I love you too princess. You be a good girl for Uncle Sam and maybe later we’ll go to the park, ok?” He told her.

“Yes!” She went to clap her hands, forgetting her cup was in one and nearly dropped it. Sam caught it and she clapped her hands excitedly.

“Ok. I’ll see you later.” He told his brother in law and daughter. 

“She’s, um, how does that work exactly?” Naomi asked. Cas turned his attention to Dean, motioning for him to sit down again and he sat down in the chair next to him.

“It’s a long story that I’d rather not get into right now. But she’s our daughter.” Cas replied. Naomi nodded.

“Of course.”

It didn’t take Cas more than a few seconds to realize her wedding ring was gone.

“What’s going on? Where’s your ring?” He asked, pointing at her hand. She absently rubbed the spot where the ring had sat for more than forty years.

“I tossed it in the river.” 

“You…what?” He gaped, shocked by her words.

“I was just telling Dean here that I left your father. Had the divorce papers delivered today.” She went on to explain what she had just been telling Dean, though in greater detail. Cas reached out to Dean, needing to feel grounded and Dean gladly took his hand.

“You’ve done well for yourself. Are you still with the orchestra?” She asked her son.

“No, I left last year. I’m in college right now, working towards my degree and I teach music.” He told her.

“He’s in an amazing band too. They just performed last night.” Dean added. Cas squeezed his hand and gave a weak smile. Dean knew that look. Cas was freaking out and trying his best to hide it.

“And you, Dean? What do you do for a living?” Naomi turned her blue eyes on him. It was clear where Cas had gotten the dark hair and the bright blue eyes.

“I teach Advanced Placement English at the high school.” He replied.

“You have a lovely home. Have you lived here long?”

“No, not really.” Dean replied.

The room fell into an awkward silence for several long minutes before Cas spoke up again.

“Why did you come here mother? Did you think I would just welcome you back with open arms?”

Her face fell as he asked his question and she looked to Dean with a pleading expression. Dean frowned. What did she expect him to do? What he had gone through with his own father had been different. Or had it? He turned his attention to Cas who was staring at Naomi with an intensity that he was glad was not being directed at him. An angry Cas was a scary Cas.

“There are not enough apologies in the world to make up for everything that I and your father did to you. I know that, but I am reaching out to you, hoping that you will find it in your heart to…forgive me. I know I don’t deserve it, but I am asking anyway. I love you Castiel. Despite your father and his rules, and his point of view on homosexuality I never, not once, ever stopped loving you. You are my son.” Her eyes welled up with tears and she pulled a handkerchief from her pocket to dab at her eyes with.

“I don’t know that I can, mother. You stood there when he beat me and almost killed me. You did nothing to stop him. Rachel was dating Curtis long before we were forced together into marriage, yet you stood by for that too, let him marry me off to someone I had no feelings whatsoever for. Her pregnancy? I had no control over that! But I got blamed for it. Why? Why did you not speak up if you love me so much?!” Suddenly Cas was on his feet.

“I would like for you to leave now.” He pointed at the door. Usually Cas was warm, showing everyone out personally, but not this time. Without even waiting for her to respond he stormed out of the room. A few seconds later the door to his studio slammed shut.

“I’ll see you out.” Dean said, getting to his feet. Slowly Naomi stood up. The look of misery on her face hurt him to see but he knew all of the horror stories Cas had told him about how his parents had treated him, and he couldn’t find it in his heart to feel sorry for her. He walked her to the door, politely accepting the glass of water back and a slip of paper with her phone number and an email address before she walked out. 

Slipping the piece of paper into the front pocket of his jeans, Dean walked down the hall to Cas’ studio. He knocked softly.

“Is she gone?” Cas called out. Even through the solid wood door he could hear the raw pain in his husband’s voice.

“Yes, she is.”

The door opened and Dean was looking into red rimmed, blue eyes.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” He pulled Cas to him and the smaller man wrapped his arms tightly around him. 

“I don’t know, Dean. I don’t think I can do it. I’m not strong enough.” Cas sobbed against his shoulder.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to be. Aren’t you the one that told me it’s up to God to forgive? But for your own peace of mind you might want to at least try not to hate her so much. It will eat at you until it consumes you, and we don’t want to teach our kids that. You’re too beautiful Cas, inside and out for hatred. Your light shines so bright. It’s one of the things I love most about you. You encouraged me to forgive my father for all the cruel things he did to me growing up, but he never did half the shit that your dad did. I know you have mixed feelings about your mom, and that’s perfectly ok. I might never fully come to terms with what my dad did to me. No one says you have to forgive her, and I certainly won’t hold it against you if you decide not to.” Dean spoke the word softly as he ran his fingers through his husband’s hair. Slowly Cas’ tears began to subside and he pulled back to wipe at his eyes and nose.

“I just want to go see the puppies. Can we do that? I need something to cheer me up after that. And…maybe breakfast out. I really don’t want to be in the house any longer. I have this itch to leave.”

Dean knew it was because Cas was afraid she might show back up. He wondered how she’d gotten their address in the first place. Had Gabe given it? There was no way Michael would have. He’d sooner chew off his own tongue than offer up any information to their parents about Cas. When he had a moment to himself he was going to text Gabe and find out.

“Sure, we’ll go pet fluffy puppies and then I’ll take you out for breakfast. How about we head to the diner? Get some good food?” He asked. Cas smiled though there was still a great deal of pain behind it.

“I’d like that.”

“Ok then. Get your shoes on, I’ll call Sam and tell him we’re ready to head out.”

He watched as Cas left to finish getting ready and he wondered if Naomi Novak’s intentions were truly honorable. His distaste for the woman was based on what Cas had told him about her. Was she brainwashed too like her children? With a heavy sigh he texted Sam to let him know they were ready to go and then headed upstairs to put on socks. It was not going to be as pleasant of a day as he had hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, sooooo.....I am turning to my lovely readers to get their opinions. Should Cas forgive his mother and allow her back into his life like he's doing with Gabe? Should he seek out his other siblings that left (remember, as far as he knows they share his father's POV on homosexuality), or should he say to hell with his family and not allow Naomi a second chance? What do you all think?
> 
> I hope you like the chapter. You all know I love you guys. Leave a comment, let me know what you think.


	51. Time to Meet the Puppies!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is desperate to get his mind off the unwanted visit by his mother so they head out to meet the puppies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote so far ahead on this fic that I apologize if I gave some things away in comment responses. It's been a rough weekend, forgive me. I decided to put this chapter up to clear some things up. I hope you like it!

They decided to carpool. Sam was driving and Dean was riding shotgun. He was worried about how quiet Cas was in the backseat. Since he had a moment he shot off a text to his brother in law.

Dean: Guess who showed up at my house this morning?

It took a minute before his phone buzzed with a reply.

Gabe the asshole: I have no idea. Should I know? It wasn’t that ass that hurt Cas on your honeymoon, was it?!

Dean: No, your goddamn MOTHER showed up at my house. Did you give her our address?

Gabe the asshole: WTF?! I’m not even on speaking terms with her! And I’d NEVER give it without Cassie’s permission! Is he ok? Did he talk to her?

Dean: He talked to her alright. Then he kicked her out of the house.

Gabe the asshole: Wow. Is he ok though?

Dean: Honestly, no. 

Gabe the asshole: What did she even want? I can’t imagine she’d show up out of the blue unless something major happened. Is my dad dead? One can only hope…

Dean: She served him with divorce papers today. Said something about your sister Anna and your brother Rafael both leaving the church too.

Gabe the asshole: Wtf?! Ok, I’m going to see if I can’t get to the bottom of this. Take care of Cas, I’ll see what I can find out. But I swear, it wasn’t me that gave her your address.

Dean: Oddly enough I think I believe you, but I’ll knock your head off your shoulders if I learn anything different.

Gabe the asshole: And you’d have every right. Gonna go now and see what I can learn. I’ll text you if I find anything.

Dean stuffed his phone back in his pocket and turned around enough in his seat to look at Cas. He reached out and touched the man’s cheek softly. When Cas looked it up broke his heart to see those beautiful blue eyes look so tormented.

“You sure you want to do this?” 

Cas forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.” He turned his head so that he could kiss the palm of Dean’s hand. “I’ll be ok. I just have to think about some things.”

“I’m here for you, you know that. We’ll get through it together.” Dean told him. Cas smiled a little wider.

“Yeah, we will.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It wasn’t a terribly long ride to reach the breeder’s house and as they got out of the car they could hear dogs barking in the backyard. 

“How many does she have?” Dean asked his brother as they walked up to the front door. He looked back at Cas who looked incredibly excited. 

“I think she said she has six dogs that are hers, and she alternates each pair so that she’s not overwhelmed with puppies she can’t sell, and so the mothers aren’t getting worn out before their time. I thoroughly questioned this woman before I agreed to this meeting. She asked me if I was a lawyer.” Sam replied with a laugh. Dean and Cas laughed at that too.

Sam rang the doorbell as they waited. Dean reached out and took Cas’ hand. When the door opened they were greeted by a woman and three large retrievers.

“Hi, are you Sam?” She asked. He nodded.

“Yes, and this is my brother Dean and brother in law Cas.”

She smiled warmly and stepped aside so they could come in.

“My name is Debbie. Welcome to my home.”

The dogs were sniffing at the strangers with tails wagging. One licked the back of Dean’s free hand and looked up at him with its tongue hanging out.

“Go, bed.” She said firmly to the dogs and they all turned and left the room quietly. Dean was impressed. Cas noticed and squeezed his hand.

“They’re exceptionally intelligent, babe.” He said.

“Good, last thing we need is a dog that won’t listen.” Dean watched the dogs disappear down the hall into a room on the left.

“They have their own bedroom and they listen very well. Goldens are easy to train, they’re friendly, intelligent, and wonderful family dogs. Sam told me you have a daughter?” She was looking at Dean and Cas.

“Yes, she’s almost three.” Cas replied. Debbie smiled wider.

“Oh, what a wonderful age! My parents had a Golden before I was born, his name was Bowie. I grew up with him and he was very well trained by my father. He was my best friend. Come on outside and I will introduce you to Bowie’s descendants.” 

She led them through the living room and through the kitchen to a set of sliding glass doors that opened onto a large deck. Bouncing around in front of the doors, waiting for Debbie to open them were several more dogs, including two puppies. She opened the doors and motioned for everyone to follow her out onto the deck.

The moment Cas was through the door he knelt down on the deck in front of the dogs. The puppies were bigger than Dean had expected and they were falling over each other to be the one to lick Cas’ face. He was laughing as he petted each of them. 

“This is mom, dad, and grandma.” Debbie pointed to the three adult dogs that were also excitedly licking Cas all over. One of the puppies pulled away from Cas and trotted over to Dean. It sat down at his feet and looked up at him. 

“Well aren’t you cute.” He said as he leaned over to pet it.

“This is the girl. She’s one of the best pups I’ve ever raised. I had a family lined up for her but their oldest son was in a car accident and he passed away. So she’s been waiting for a new family.” Debbie explained.

Dean crouched down in front of the pup as he continued to scratch her head.

“You’re a sweet girl, aren’t you?” He said softly. Her tail made a swishing noise as it swept happily back and forth across the deck floor.

“She knows basic commands and a few more complex ones as well.” Debbie pulled a chair over and sat down next to Dean.

“I wanted to also tell you that she is an excellent candidate to be a therapy dog. Your brother mentioned that you suffer from anxiety. He didn’t tell me to betray you, but as part of the series of questions he had. He was wondering if one of the pups might be able to assist with calming your anxiety when it gets bad. She can be trained to recognize the symptoms and get help if needed.” She spoke softly so only Dean heard her, and he appreciated that. He wasn’t happy that Sam had mentioned his issues to a stranger, but he liked the idea that this cute little ball of fluff could be trained to recognize an attack before it could get full blown. He scratched the puppy behind her ears and she stood up, moving close enough to rest her head on his knee.

“Cas.” He looked over at his husband and saw that the man was watching him with a mixture of amusement and affection.

“You like that one?” Cas asked. Dean looked down at the puppy just as she leaned up and licked his cheek.

“Yes, I think I do.”

Cas moved closer, sitting down next to Dean who had decided to sit once his legs started to go numb. He leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder and watched as his husband played with the puppy.

“Does she have a name?” Cas asked.

“We’ve been calling her Molly.” The pup’s ears lifted at the sound of her name.

“She’s potty trained?” Dean asked.

“Yes. She is still teething but she’s very good about only chewing the toys we give her, but honestly, no puppy is perfect. Every now and then she makes a mistake.” 

Dean nodded. It was expected. She was a baby, just like Gracie. Gracie made mistakes, like coloring all over the couch and walls in the apartment, and if he kept his cool about it, he was pretty sure he could handle mistakes made by a puppy. He could do this. Cas wanted a puppy so bad and Dean would do anything for him.

“You want to come home with us Molly?” Dean asked the puppy. Her ears lifted and she looked up at him with curious brown eyes.

“Really?” Cas asked excitedly. He sat up and looked at his husband and Dean wanted to laugh. Cas’ enthusiasm was adorable.

“So long as she gets along with Gracie, then yeah, I’m ok with Molly coming to live with us.” Dean replied. He looked over at Sam who was giving a belly rub to Molly’s brother.

“What’s that one’s name?” He asked.

“Buster is what we call him.” Debbie replied.

“That’s a good name. When you bring Gracie back to meet Molly, I’ll bring Jess with.” Sam said. Dean nodded.

“When do you think you might be back?” Debbie asked.

“Is tomorrow too soon?” Cas looked up at Dean with so much hope in his eyes he knew he couldn’t say no.

“Sure, tomorrow is fine. But…we can’t bring her home until we have everything we need for her.”

“We’re going today to buy the dog run, Dean. I’ll install it myself, but we’re buying it today.” Cas said firmly. 

“I have no doubt about that.” Dean shook his head and turned his attention back to the puppy that was now curled up in his lap. She really was awful cute.

The next half hour it was Dean’s turn to interrogate Debbie. He asked about her diet, her behavior, possible allergies, fears, her vaccinations, and anything else that came to mind. In the end he had to practically tear Cas away. The ride home was a completely different story from earlier. Cas was excitedly talking about the puppy and everything she was going to need. He had plans for where her crate would go, where the dog run would be placed, what training he wanted to get her into immediately, and the vet he had already chosen. They went out to breakfast where Sam and Cas both talked animatedly about the puppies. As Dean munched on a blueberry waffle his phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket to check the text.

Gabe the asshole: So I asked around and Michael didn’t give the address and neither did Meg. 

A second later another text came through.

Gabe the asshole: Hold up. Just got a text from Nan. She said my mother contacted her mother last month, was asking about me and Cas. Nan had told her mom back around the time you got married about the wedding. Apparently she told Naomi about it when she asked. So she knew you married my brother. I’m guessing she got your name and did a little detective work to track you guys down.

Dean: Well damn. She’ll be showing up on your doorstep next.

Gabe the asshole: I’m sure she will be. How’s Cas doing? Any better?

Dean: Much. We went and picked out our puppy. He’s in full blown puppy mode right now. We’re taking Gracie to meet her tomorrow and if they get along we’ll be taking Molly home.

Gabe the asshole: Cute name. What breed? Cas always wanted a dog growing up but our father wouldn’t let us have anything.

Dean: Golden Retriever. She’s cute as hell too.

Gabe the asshole: Goldens are like super smart too. Cas will do well with a smart dog. You both will, and Gracie will grow up with a best friend.

Dean: That’s what we’re hoping for.

Gabe the asshole: Keep me updated on my brother. If he seems out of sorts at all let me or Michael know right away.

Dean: Will do.

“Who are you texting?” Cas asked.

“Oh, Gabe. Told him about Molly.” Dean replied as he pocketed the phone once more.

“My brother? You…were texting Gabe?” He could hear the skepticism in Cas’ voice.

“Yes. We’ll talk about it later.” 

Cas stared at him for a moment before nodding. “Yes, we will.” He turned his attention back to Sam who had a hardware store website up on his phone. They were looking over the various dog runs available.

“You need bigger ones. Molly and Buster aren’t going to be small dogs.” Dean said as he leaned over to get a look at the one they were talking about.

“True, but we’re not keeping her locked up in it all the time. I’d like her to run around the yard, but use the run most of the time.” Cas said.

Dean nodded. Cas was right. Molly wouldn’t be much of a therapy dog if she was locked up all the time.

“I have something I need to talk to you about later, ok?” He whispered the words to his husband and Cas turned to look at him.

“It’s nothing bad, is it?”

“No, it’s…good I think.” Dean replied.

Cas reached over and squeezed his hand. “Ok, when we get home we’ll talk about it then.” Dean smiled and kissed his cheek. He knew Cas would be discreet and they could talk about things without the entire family learning his problems.


	52. Cas Goes a Little Overboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas goes to pick up Gracie from Ellen and Bobby's, but he doesn't exactly come straight home...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter. More fluff. I'm not bringing Naomi back just yet. Enjoy your puppy fluff for now...

After breakfast Sam dropped them at home. Cas went to go pick Gracie up at Ellen’s but after three hours he wasn’t back yet he began to worry. He called his husband and waited for him to pick up.

“Babe? Where are you?” He asked as soon as the line connected.

“Um…at the pet store?” Cas’ voice went up at about three octaves as he replied. Dean chuckled.

“What did you buy? And is Gracie with you?”

“Yes, I have Gracie. She’s sitting in the cart in front of me playing with a dog toy she has claimed for herself. I wanted to talk to some professionals and get advice on things like dog beds and collars. You’re not mad, are you?” Cas asked worriedly.

“No, not at all. I was just wondering where you’re at. Dinner will be ready soon. I have pulled pork in the crock pot. I’m just defrosting what I prepped last weekend.” Dean replied.

“Ok. I promise not to go nuts, but I have a couple things I’m buying. And…I stopped at the store and ordered the dog run you suggested. The bigger one. We’ll pick it up Monday.” 

Dean could hear Gracie squealing over something. “What’s she so excited about?”

“Oh, someone just walked in with a Great Dane and it was tall enough for her to pet it while in the cart. It licked her face.” Cas replied with a laugh.

“That is too much dog.” Dean said, joining in.

“Oh, I’m with you there!” Cas exclaimed.

“Ok, you finish your binge shopping, just let me know when you’re here so I can come help carry in your five hundred bags.” Dean teased.

“Hey!”

“I know you, babe. You think I don’t, but I do. Just let me know when you’re in the driveway.” 

“Fine. I love you, we’ll be home soon.” Cas said.

“I love you too.” Dean left his phone on the counter as he searched through the cabinets for something to have with the pork sandwiches they’d have later. When the doorbell rang he abandoned his search and went to answer it.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” He asked when he saw a familiar head of red hair. Charlie practically jumped into his arms, hugging him tight.

“I’ve been so busy with work and Gilda, I missed you!” She cried.

“Well come on in. As usual you’re here in time for dinner. It’ll be ready in about an hour.” He stepped aside so she could come in. She left her shoes by the bench and followed him into the kitchen.

“Where’s Cas? And Gracie? Are they here?” She asked as she slid onto a stool at the island. He had gone back to search the cabinets again. He was pretty sure Cas had eaten all the chips.

“Oh, they’re at the pet store.” Dean replied with a roll of the eyes.

“The pet store? You guys got a pet of some kind?” She asked, looking around.

“We’re getting a dog. We just went to meet her today and tomorrow we’re bringing Gracie back to meet her. Her name’s Molly, she’s a Golden Retriever.” He settled on making a pasta salad and took down a box of elbow macaroni.

“Awww, that’ll be great for Gracie!” She cried.

“It’ll be good for all of us I think. I wasn’t on board at first, but I am now. And Cas is so excited. I thought he was going to burst out of his skin earlier.” Dean said with a chuckle as he filled a pot with water and set it on the stove.

“What changed your mind?” She asked. He shrugged.

“It’s not like I’m against dogs, I like them just fine, but I was anticipating potty training and messes, and disobedience, stuff like that, but Molly is an older pup, already knows the basic commands and she’s potty trained. Cas is looking into formal training for her, and we’re dog proofing the house, so…I’m more comfortable with the idea. Plus Cas really, really wants a dog. He’s been asking for one since before we bought this place.”

“I had a dog when I was little. A Pekinese mix named Harlow. I had to brush her every day. But she was a good dog.” Charlie smiled as she remembered the dog.

“I think I remember that. White with some brown spots? Used to lay across my back when I’d lay on your bed to do homework?” He asked. She snickered and nodded.

“Yep. She was so in love with you. All I had to do was mention your name and her little tail would start wagging like crazy and her entire body would shake. She’s whimper when you left to go home too.”

He grinned as he poured the noodles into the boiling water. “Really?”

“I think Molly will be drawn to you too. You have such a sweet nature about you Dean, it draws in more than just humans.” She said.

“Yeah, all the dogs were going crazy, licking Cas like mad, and Sam, but Molly walked over and sat down at my feet and let me pet her. She’s really a sweet dog.”

“You’ll need to brush her frequently, but it’s kind of soothing, for you and the dog. My friend is a professional groomer if you want to go that route. I’ll give you her number.” She offered.

“Yeah, I’ll see if we can work that into our budget. I hope she likes water.” He sighed. Charlie laughed at that. “What?” He asked.

“She’s a Golden Retriever, Dean. Of course she’s going to like water.” She told him. 

“I guess you’re right.” He went to the cabinet and began pulling out plates. “Here, set the table.”

By the time he’d finished making the pasta salad his phone vibrated.

“Come on, Cas is here and I know he’s going to need help bringing stuff in.” He wiped his hands on a dish towel and started for the door. Charlie followed. They stepped out onto the porch and he chuckled as he saw Cas pulling bags from the back of their van. 

“I knew you’d go overboard.” Dean teased as he began grabbing bags.

“Shut up.” Cas laughed as he lifted up a box that contained a dog crate. Charlie grabbed a bunch of bags and even Gracie grabbed the few she could lift easily.

“Where do you want this stuff?” Charlie asked once they’d gone back inside.

“I honestly don’t know. Just put it in the living room for now. We’ll figure it out later.” Dean said. 

“Dinner smells wonderful.” Cas said, as he sniffed the air.

“Well go wash up and we’ll eat.”

“I’m hungry, daddy.” Gracie announced as she took off her coat. He took it from her and hung it up so she could take off her shoes.

“Good. I have a sandwich for you. And noodles.” He told her.

“I hafta wash my hands.” She wiggled her fingers before dashing down the hall to the bathroom. Cas followed after her.

“She’s getting so big. I need to come around more, I feel like I’m missing out on a lot.” Charlie sighed as she watched the little girl disappear down the hall.

“She’s growing like a weed. I wish I’d been there when she was born.” Dean admitted. There was a sadness in his voice that hurt her to hear. 

“You guys going to have more?” She asked.

“I want more. Cas does too. I want our next one to have a biological link to him. Do the same thing we did with Gracie where I’ll legally adopt it.” He said.

“So that’s all done with? Cas is legally her other father now?” She asked. He nodded.

“Oh yeah, that was taken care of by Sam a while ago. It was finalized back in January. We handled his legal name change at that time too.”

“That’s so cool.” Her tone was rather dreamy and he found himself wondering what she was thinking.

“Do you think you and Gilda will get to that point? How serious are you guys?” He asked. She smiled shyly.

“I think maybe we will. She’s special. Different…”

Cas walked back in the room just then. “Who’s different?”

“Gilda.” Charlie replied.

“They’re getting pretty serious.” Dean told him. Cas cocked an eyebrow and smiled.

“Good. She’s nice. You deserve to be happy.” 

“Thank you. Where’s Gracie?” She asked. Cas pointed to the living room where the little girl was digging through the bags of stuff he’d just bought. She gave a cry of triumph when she found what she was looking for.

“Daddy, look! I have a puppy!” She ran to the kitchen and thrust a white stuffed dog at her father.

“Oh, it’s beautiful. Did papa buy you that?” He asked.

“Yes. It’s my baby.” She said, her tone serious. He snickered and nodded.

“It’s a pretty baby, but your puppy has to go back to the living room during dinner. No toys at the table.” Her little face fell but she didn’t argue. Instead she took it back and set it on the couch where she’d be able to see it from the table.

Charlie helped Gracie into her booster seat while Dean served everyone. When dinner was over they cleaned up, loaded the dishwasher, and headed for the living room. Cas was reluctant to admit that perhaps he had gone a bit overboard as he looked at all the bags of stuff he had purchased, but he was excited. This was his first dog and he wanted to be completely prepared. Gracie plopped down in the pink dog bed they had bought with her puppy cuddled close to her chest.

“She’s totally going to forget about that thing once she meets Molly.” Dean laughed.

“I hope Molly doesn’t think her puppy is her toy.” Charlie said.

“Technically it is a dog toy, so just to be safe, I bought two more in case Molly gets a hold of that one.” Cas said. “They weren’t expensive, only three each, so if it gets ruined it’s not the end of the world.”

“Good idea.” Dean said as he sat down on the couch and began sorting through bags.

“You got her a pink collar?” He asked, holding up the one Cas had bought.

“Is that ok? I thought that shade of pink was pretty.” Cas replied.

“Yeah, I like it actually.” Dean said as he set the collar and its matching leash aside. He looked through the dozens of stuffed animals and chew toys his husband had bought before coming to dog shampoo, flea medication, and organic treats.

“Wow, you are like really prepared.” Charlie remarked as she pulled two kinds of brushes from one of the bags.

“I like being prepared.” Cas shrugged.

“You know I prefer having everything we need first. Where is her kennel going? And should we have one for downstairs and one for upstairs? I mean, do we want her locked up down here at night while we’re all asleep upstairs?” Dean asked.

“I thought that we would use the kennel until she’s out of the chewing phase, and then we won’t have to use the crate as much, especially at night.” Cas replied.

“You mean you want to let her sleep in with us or Gracie.” Dean said, cocking an eyebrow. Cas smiled sheepishly.

“Not on the bed, but in her own bed.” 

“Uh huh. We’ll have to see about that. I really don’t want muddy feet or dog hair in my bed.” Dean said. Cas nodded.

“I understand.”

With help from Charlie they set the dog crate up on the back porch and emptied a tote to use as a toy box for Molly. They set it on the other side of the table that stood next to Gracie’s toy box. Dean worried that the dog might confuse the boxes and try to chew Gracie’s toys by mistake, so he wanted them separated. Once all of the toys and medications were stored Cas pulled something out of his back pocket. He held it out to Dean.

“I got this to put on her collar.”

Dean took the little piece of metal and smiled as he read it.

“Molly Winchester. I like that.” He attached it to the collar before hanging both that and the leash on an empty hook by the front door. Gracie was still kicked back in the dog bed talking to her stuffed puppy.

“I think one dog bed isn’t going to be enough.” Cas said as he watched his daughter.

“Of course not. You’ll want one in your studio, one on the back porch, and at least one upstairs.” Charlie told him. He nodded in agreement.

“Who wants a soda?” Dean asked.

“I want juice!” Gracie piped up.

“One juice, coming right up!” Dean looked to his friend and husband who both nodded in agreement for a soda. When he got back he handed the sippy cup to his daughter before they all kicked back on the couch to watch a movie. As it was ending Charlie stood up.

“I have to get home. I’ll be by again soon though. I don’t want to miss so much with the munchkin.” She ruffled Gracie’s hair as she started for the door.

“Bye Auntie Chowlie!” Gracie waved to her. 

“Bye cutie pie!” Charlie told her. Cas walked her to the door, hugging her before she left. When she was gone he fished another two cans of soda out of the fridge and carried them into the living room.

“I’ll be back once I get Gracie into bed and we can watch another movie and talk.” He said as he handed the cans to Dean.

“Ok.” Dean popped the top on his can and nodded.

It was another half hour before Cas returned. Dean had exchanged the warming can of soda Cas was wanting to drink for a cold one and was waiting on the couch for the man to come back. When Cas walked back in the room he looked tired but happy.

“You want to go to bed?” Dean asked him.

“No, I’m not that tired. Gracie just tires me out. She’s a bundle of energy!” Cas sighed as he curled up on the couch next to Dean, accepting the can of soda from him. “So what did you want to talk about?”

“Debbie said something earlier and it’s been on my mind all day. Sam told her I have anxiety issues and she thinks Molly would be a good candidate to become a therapy dog for me. To learn to recognize the attacks before they become full blown, and then notify you or whoever else is with me that its happening. I…really like that idea.” Dean explained.

“I think that’s an excellent idea. I already looked into therapy training. It’s expensive, but I’m willing to pay for it if she’ll help you and makes things easier for you.” Cas placed a hand on Dean’s thigh and squeezed gently.

“You did? How expensive are we talking?” Dean asked.

“Least expensive yet still credible school charged two thousand.” Cas replied. Dean’s eyes widened.

“Wow, that’s expensive.”

“You’re worth it.” Cas looked him right in the eye and any argument he’d had ready died on his tongue. He just smiled and ran his fingers through Cas’ hair.

“Ok. If you think it’s a good investment, we can do it.”

“Now tell me, why were you talking to my brother earlier? I know you don’t like him.” 

Dean sighed. “I texted him earlier to find out if he was the one that told her where we live. You were upset and I was mad that she’d just showed up like that and made you that way. He found out that Naomi contacted Nancy’s mom and she told her you’d gotten married. I guess she did her own research from there to find out where we live. I believe him when he said he hasn’t been in contact with her. He was mad that she just showed up like that.”

Cas was using his tongue to push around his lip ring as he listened, but he remained quiet even after Dean had stopped talking. It was clear he was thinking hard.

“Do you think she’s really serious?” He finally asked.

“About?” 

“Wanting my forgiveness, and to be a part of my life again. I mean, she really hurt me. It was Michael that took care of me after my dad’s attack. She didn’t even call 911. To be fair though, I don’t think she realized my injuries were as bad as they were.” Cas snuggled in closer and Dean wrapped an arm around him.

“Well, you told me the kind of person your father is. He controls everything and everyone within his little orbit. You were just the first one smart enough and strong enough to leave. You and Michael that is. It took the others longer because they weren’t as strong willed. She made the mistake of loving and trusting him to do right by her, but I think the fact that he pushed all of her children away was finally just too much for her. I’m not saying she wasn’t at fault, but I think it might be a bit more complicated than it seems. I admire her for finding the courage to finally leave him, though it would have been in everyone’s best interest if she had left like thirty years ago.” 

Cas sighed and leaned his head against Dean’s chest. Dean was right, he knew it, and he knew he would be nothing but a hypocrite if he encouraged Dean to forgive his own father, but didn’t make some kind of effort with Naomi. Still, he’d lived the last fourteen years without her in his life and he was in a good place. Letting her back in…that idea frightened him. He handed his soda to Dean to put on the side table and then turned to wrap his arms around his husband’s waist. He was desperate for reassurance and closeness, and Dean understood that. 

“If you decide you don’t want her in your life I will not think any less of you for it. I don’t want her around you or Gracie if there is any chance that she might affect either of you detrimentally. There is no way I’m allowing someone homophobic to tear you or our child down emotionally.” He kissed the top of Cas’ head and caressed the back of his neck.

“Maybe you should call your therapist.”

“Yeah, maybe. I’m not sure what I want to do where she’s concerned. I think I want to talk to Michael, see what he says. And Gabe too.” Cas looked up and it broke Dean’s heart to see the pain in those beautiful blue orbs.

“I think that’s a good idea. And whatever you decide, I will back you up a hundred percent.”

“Come on, it’s getting late and we have to take the princess to meet Molly tomorrow.” Dean patted his leg and Cas pulled away, getting to his feet.

“Are we bringing her home tomorrow?” Cas asked, his eyes brightening at the thought.

“If she likes Gracie, you want to bring her back?” 

Cas nodded. “Yes, I really do.”

Dean stood up and pulled Cas against him. “Ok, sweetheart. If that’s what you want, we’ll do it.” Cas wrapped his arms around him and squeezed him tight.

“You are the most fantastic husband in the world. Thank you for supporting me with this.”

“I honestly think she’ll be the perfect addition to our family. And she’ll be our kids' best friend.” Dean said. Cas pulled back and looked up at him.

“You’ve been saying that a lot lately. Are you that eager for more kids so soon?”

Dean’s cheeks reddened and he scrubbed his toes across the carpet nervously.

“I feel like I missed out on most of Gracie’s life so far. Yes, I want more kids, and I don’t want to wait forever for them, but maybe not right now. Let’s get you through college first.” 

Cas smiled and kissed him softly. “Sounds like a good plan to me. Maybe I can double my course load and graduate sooner?”

“Nah, you’d miss out on time at home with us if you did that. You’re already full time. Just keep going like you are. We have plenty of time.”

Cas couldn’t help feeling lightened at hearing Dean’s words. He felt safe, loved, and despite whatever he decided about his mother, he looked forward to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...that was Cas going nuts shopping. Wait til Dean sees THAT bank deduction, lol! He won't be mad though, it's therapy for the man he loves and he'd do anything for him. I hope you like the chapter. Leave a comment, I love you guys!


	53. Molly Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean bring Gracie and Jess to meet the puppies. It's time for the newest members of the Winchester family to come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff. Are your teeth rotting yet? Go brush them, then come back and read this. It's fluff to the nth degree.

Gracie was up before her fathers the following morning and Dean woke to a tiny elbow in the stomach and a knee in the groin as she climbed up into their bed. He was glad they had both decided to sleep with their boxers on last night as she pulled the covers up to slip under them, nestled down between them both. Cas was on his stomach but he opened one eye, smiling at the little girl as she lifted his hand and pulled it over her belly.

“You need cuddles?” He asked. She nodded.

“I needs dem, papa.” 

“Ok. Come here monkey.” He turned on his side and pulled her closer until she was cuddled against his chest.

“Daddy needs cuddles too.” She informed him. Dean smiled and moved closer until she was sandwiched between them.

“Guess what we’re doing today.” He murmured against her hair as he kissed her forehead.

“What we doing?” She asked.

“We’re going to go play with puppies. Auntie Jess and Uncle Sam are coming too.” 

 

“Puppies?!”

Both men chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“That’s right. Molly and Buster. We’re going to go and visit them. You can bring one of the new toys we bought yesterday and give it to Molly.” Cas told her.

“Oh! I wanna pet da petty puppies!” Her tiny hands were balled up into fists and she was looking between her dads with large, excited green eyes.

“What time is it?” Cas asked. Dean lifted his head to look at the alarm clock on Cas’ night stand.

“Ugh, it’s not even nine yet.”

“Ok, so how about we have some breakfast and go play in the yard until Uncle Sam and Aunt Jess come over?” Cas asked the squirming, excited little girl.

“No! I want to play wif da puppies!” She whined.

“Listen.” He said firmly. She instantly stilled and looked up at him. He didn’t use that tone often but she recognized it immediately. Once he had her attention he continued.

“The puppies are still sleeping. Then they have to have their breakfast. When they’re all done, we can go see them. Little girls need to eat breakfast too, so we’re going to get dressed and we’re going to have our breakfast. When Uncle Sam and Aunt Jess come get us, we can go and see the puppies. If you can’t be a good girl and be patient, no puppies. Do you understand?”

She frowned and for a moment he thought she might start crying but she nodded. “I’m a good girl, papa. I listen.”

“Ok sweetheart, go get dressed. No dresses. You have to wear pants so the puppies don’t scratch you.” He told her. She nodded and with another few elbows and knees to sensitive parts she climbed back out of the bed and ran back to her own room.

“How did you do that?” Dean asked as he closed the gap their daughter had left behind and slid an arm around Cas’ waist.

“Do what?” Cas asked as he molded his body against Dean’s. He figured they had about ten minutes before Gracie made a reappearance and he found that he needed cuddles too.

“Get her to just stop a tantrum like that. You nipped it before she even really got started.” Dean kissed his way down Cas’ neck and across one shoulder as he talked.

“It’s all in the tone. She knows that when she gets like that I won’t tolerate her behavior and if she continues, she gets a time out and will not get what she wants at all. We’ve been working on time outs when you’re at work. She doesn’t need them often, thank goodness, she’s a really good girl, but she has moments like any toddler.” Cas replied.

“You’re the toddler whisperer.” Dean said with a laugh.

“Maybe.” Cas grinned up at him.

“Come on, let’s get breakfast going before the diva tries to rush us.” Dean pushed the covers back and got up. He got up from the bed and went into the bathroom. When he came back to the bedroom Cas was up and pulling clothes from the dresser. He tossed jeans to Dean and a tee shirt along with clean boxers. Dean got dressed while Cas went into the bathroom.

“I’m going to go get breakfast on the table.” He called out.

“I’ll be down after my shower.” Cas called back.

Dean went downstairs and found Gracie already in the living room. She was looking through the new puppy toy box.

“Dis for puppy?” She asked him.

“It is.” He replied.

She looked down in confusion at the stuffed puppy in her hands. He could only imagine what she was thinking at that moment. Rather than explain, he decided to redirect.

“Come on, let’s go pick out a cereal.” 

She dropped the lid on the tote and followed him into the kitchen where he pulled out two boxes of cereal and asked her to pick one. She did and he handed her to box.

“Take it to the table.”

He took down three bowls and fetched three spoons from the drawer for them, carrying them to the table. He was just getting the milk out of the fridge when Cas walked in.

“Cereal?” He asked. Gracie was spooning some into her mouth and she nodded.

“Sorry, didn’t much feel like cooking this morning.” Dean shrugged.

“That’s fine.” Cas joined them at the table, filling his own bowl and digging in. 

When breakfast was finished they cleaned up and went to play in the yard. Cas chased Gracie around the swing set and Dean sat down on the porch swing he had bought for the deck to watch them. He loved watching them play and Cas always seemed to have the energy to keep up with Gracie. After a break for juice and a stop to go potty, Gracie was back out in the yard, asking her papa to push her on the swing. It was shortly after eleven when the back gate opened and his brother walked into the yard.

“Figured you guys were out here when you didn’t answer the door.” Sam watched with amusement as Cas pushed Gracie on the swing and she squealed with delight.

“We’ve been out here for a while. Are you guys ready to go?” Dean asked. He moved from the center of the porch swing to the far end so Sam could sit down next to him.

“Jess will be here in a few. She just got out of the shower. I brought the truck, parked it behind the van.” Sam replied as he sat down. 

“How’s Cas today?” He asked, looking over at Dean.

“He has a lot on his mind but he’s using the puppy and Gracie as much needed distractions. When this all dies down we’re going to have to talk more about it of course, but for now he needs this, and I’ll give him whatever he needs.” Dean waved to catch Cas’ attention. When his husband looked over he pointed at Sam. Cas nodded.

“Was she civil at least?” Sam asked.

“Oh yeah, she was fine as far as manners go, but just her being here upset Cas worse than I think I’ve ever seen. And I’m not sure I want her in my house or around our kids. Especially if she shares any of her husband’s views. I don’t want anything that man thinks affecting my family.” Dean told him. Sam nodded.

“I don’t blame you. I don’t know everything about Cas’ childhood and such, just what you told me, but his parents sound like they were a real piece of work.”

“That’s an understatement.” Dean snorted. Cas and Gracie were making their way over.

“We go to see da puppies now?” Gracie asked as she climbed up into Sam’s lap.

“Yep. Auntie Jess is on her way. When she gets here we’ll leave.” Sam told her. He ran his fingers through her wild blonde hair. “I think she needs her hair brushed before we go, she has knots.” He said when she winched as his fingers snagged in her long locks.

“Come on pun’kin, daddy will put your hair in a pretty braid for you.” Dean stood up and lifted Gracie off her lap. He carried her into her the house and Cas sat down in his empty seat.

“We got just about everything we’re going to need for Molly.” Cas said. Sam looked over in surprise.

“Already?”

“I took Gracie shopping yesterday at the pet store after we left Ellen’s. I spent about five hundred. Dean might just kill me when the bank statement comes.” Cas stared out across the yard at where the dog run would be going, a worried look on his face.

“I wouldn’t worry too much. Dean would move heaven and earth for you, and you want this dog badly, so no matter what, he’ll make it happen. I know my brother.” Sam patted the man’s shoulder. Cas sighed. Sam was right, but he didn’t want to take advantage of his husband’s generosity either.

“I need to do something nice for him. Something on this scale.” 

“Like what?” Sam asked.

“I’m not sure, but I’ll figure it out.” Cas said.

Dean came back outside with Gracie, and Jess was trailing after them. 

“You like my hair, papa?” Gracie asked as she patted the braid Dean had done in her hair.

“I do. Do you like it?” He asked.

“Yes. I am a petty girl.” She told him. He bit down on his lip to stifle a laugh. 

“You’re always pretty though. But I do like your braid.”

“We ready to go?” Dean asked. He had Gracie’s diaper bag slung over one shoulder and one of their extra throw blankets in his hands.

Cas and Sam both stood up. 

“I’m so ready for this.” Cas said with a grin.

“I know you are babe, let’s hope Gracie is too.” Dean winked as they made their way through the house and out to the truck. Gracie had a car seat that was a permanent fixture at Sam’s house to be used in one of their vehicles, and it was now positioned in the center of the backseat. Dean secured her into it before tossing the diaper bag into the cargo area. Cas climbed in on the other side of their daughter and handed her the stuffed puppy she had barely let out of her sight since he’d bought for her yesterday. In his pocket was the toy for Molly. Sam got behind the wheel and Jess sat down next to him. She secured her seat belt and turned around a bit to smile at Gracie.

“You ready to go see the puppies?” 

“Yes. Papa says I can pay wif da puppies.” Gracie replied.

“That’s right.” Jess smiled brightly at the little girl.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ride this time seemed to go faster and soon they were pulling into Debbie’s driveway. The dogs were barking and Gracie was bouncing in her seat the moment she heard them. Dean unbuckled her and lifted her out.

“You need to be a good girl. Do not touch the dogs unless Miss Debbie says you can. Ok?” He told his daughter as they climbed the stairs. She frowned but nodded. Cas rang the doorbell and Dean quickly lifted Gracie up so that she didn’t get scared. The door opened and Debbie was standing there smiling, this time with six adult dogs surrounding here. They all had their tails wagging and tongues happily lolling out of their mouths.

“Hi! Oh! This must be your daughter Gracie!” She smiled at the little girl.

“Yes this is. Gracie, can you say hi to Miss Debbie?” Dean asked the little girl.

“Hi. Can I pay wif you puppies?” Gracie asked. They all chuckled at that.

“Of course! Come on in!” They filed into the house and Dean was impressed when Debbie gave a command to sit and all six dogs immediately obeyed.

“Were are Molly and Buster?” Cas asked when he realized they weren’t among the group.

“In the yard. I figured today you would like to spend time with just the puppies.” Debbie noticed Jess and held out her hand.

“And you must be Jessica. It’s so very nice to meet you. My name is Debbie.” 

Jess smiled and shook her hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you too.”

Debbie led them through the house and out into the yard just as she had done yesterday. Molly and Buster had been at the far end of the yard wrestling over a rope toy but they dropped it at the sound of the door opening. They barreled across the yard, racing to reach Dean and the others just as they stepped out. Cas quickly knelt down and pulled Molly gently towards him. Dean put Gracie down and knelt down with his husband. Sam and Jess were a few feet away gushing over Buster as he tried to lick their faces.

“This is Molly.” Cas told his daughter.

“Hi Molly!” Gracie exclaimed. Cas let go of the puppy’s collar. 

“Sit, Molly.” He told her. The puppy sat down right away, though her tail was swishing excitedly across the deck floor. Gracie reached out to pet the dog’s head and Molly quickly licked her hand, making her giggle.

 

Dean watched his daughter interact with Molly. The puppy was calmer than he’d expected, and extremely observant. When Gracie descended the stairs both puppies eagerly followed. As the adults sat back and watched, Gracie ran around with the puppies happily following. When Gracie stopped and turned around both puppies came to a stop and sat down. She reached out to hug them and they tackled her, licking her all over and making her squeal with delight.

“I’d say it’s a match.” Cas laughed. He looked over at Dean who was grinning.

“Like we had any doubt.” 

“Buster is the sweetest thing ever!” Jess was gushing to Sam and it made Cas and Dean both laugh.

“So?” Cas looked up at Dean with so much hope in his eyes he couldn’t have denied him this.

“Looks like we have our second kid.” Dean said. A second later he was flat on his ass on the deck with Cas’ arms around his neck. The man was kissing his cheek over and over.

“Thank you Dean, thank you!” He exclaimed.

“Geeze Cas, if I knew getting a dog would make you this happy I’d have gotten one ages ago.” Dean laughed. Cas pulled back and looked out across the yard where Gracie was trying to get to her feet but was laughing too hard as the puppies kept licking her.

“Molly! Buster!” He called out. The puppies both lifted their heads at the sound of their names being called. “Come!” The puppies tore off in the direction of the deck, flying into his arms.

“Good puppies!” He cooed as he petted them. When he looked up he saw that Dean was standing near the door, talking to Debbie and Sam.

“They’re precious, aren’t they?” Jess came and sat down next to Cas. Gracie climbed the steps and plopped down in the woman’s lap.

“I like da puppies, papa. I wanna puppy.” She said to her father.

“Guess what?” He asked her.

“What?”

“Molly is going to be your puppy. She’s going to come live with us.”

The way his daughter’s face lit up absolutely melted his heart.

“Is my puppy?” She reached over to pet Molly and the puppy licked her cheek.

“That’s right, and Buster is my puppy. He’s going to come and live with Uncle Sam and me.” Jess said.

Tears welled up in the little girl’s eyes and her lower lip began to quiver. She looked back to where Dean was now writing out a check.

“I has a puppy! Oh! Daddy! I has a puppy!” She was crying but smiling. Dean looked at her and smiled.

“Oh God is she your kid.” Jess laughed and pointed at Cas. He laughed too as he scooped his daughter up and sat her in his lap.

“Don’t cry princess.” He murmured in her ear.

“I love her, papa. I love Molly.” The little girl sobbed against his neck.

“Is she ok? Did she get hurt?” Dean asked anxiously as he walked back over. He squatted down next to Cas who shook his head.

“Happy tears, daddy. These are happy tears. She’s a bit overwhelmed by her emotions right now.” 

Dean rubbed his daughter’s back until she calmed down. When she turned around she reached out and hugged Molly.

“Is my puppy, daddy!” Her voice was still thick with emotion and it brought tears to his own eyes.

“Yes, you do, and you can play every day with her. Papa, did you bring the special toy for Molly?” Dean asked. Cas pulled the stuffed animal from his pocket and gave it to Gracie.

“That’s for Molly, why don’t you give it to her.”

Gracie waved the toy in the puppy’s face and her ears perked up. She grabbed it and bit down, making it squeak. 

“Are we ready to go?” Sam asked.

“I think so.” Dean replied. He got to his feet and hauled Cas up with him.

“So she’s ours now?” Cas asked.

“She’s ours, paid in full.” Dean confirmed.

“Thank you for this, Dean. It’s like a dream come true.” Cas kissed his husband softly. Dean slipped something into his hand and he looked down to see the leash and collar. He smiled brightly.

“You brought it?”

“Of course I did. She’s ours now.” Dean said warmly.

Cas crouched down in front of the excited pup and once he’d given the command to sit and she obeyed, and he switched out the collar she had on for the pink one with her name tag on it. He attached the leash and stood back up.

“Now I feel like an idiot because I didn’t think ahead and buy a leash and collar.” Sam said with a laugh. Jess nudged his side and when he looked over she was handing him a black and white leash with bones on it. A collar hung off the end.

“When did you get this?” He asked as he knelt down. He called Buster over and switched out the collars.

“I stopped on my lunch yesterday. I knew you said we were getting the boy but I didn’t want blue. This one was cute.” She took the leash from Sam.

“I hope the pups make you as happy as my dogs have made me. I have care packets for each of the pups with their vet records, dates of their parasite medication applications, and a dose of flea medication and heartworm preventative for next month. It includes a three day supply of their food as well as a small baggie for each of them with a toy and their favorite treats.” Debbie said as they headed into the house. In the kitchen she grabbed the two readymade bags, handing one to Cas and one to Sam.

“Thank you for everything, Debbie. We greatly appreciate everything you’ve done for us. Buster and Molly are going to grow up seeing one another regularly, we live across the street from each other. We’ll keep you updated on how they do.” Sam told her as she opened the front door. 

“I would like that very much. My phone number, website, and email address are all in the care packets. I look forward to hearing how they settle in and adjust to your families.” She said. 

They made their way down to the truck and Dean buckled Gracie into her seat. Cas picked up Molly and slid in the backseat while Jess picked up Buster and got in next to Sam. Dean got in behind Jess and Sam started the truck. They waved as they pulled out of her drive and started on the drive home.

The pups didn’t seem to be scared of the car ride and somehow Molly ended up in Dean’s lap. She sat down on his thigh and leaned against his chest as she watched the world race by. At stop lights her ears perked up but she didn’t bark. Dean hoped this was how she would always be.  
Sam pulled into his own drive and everyone climbed out. Cas went to take the leash from Dean but he held it back.

“Can I walk her?” He asked.

Cas smiled. “Sure, babe.”

They said goodbye to Sam and Jess and they started the walk to their own house. Molly walked at Dean’s side, alternating between looking up at him and sniffing at the grass. When they reached their house Cas unlocked the front door and ushered everyone inside. Dean unclipped the leash from Molly’s collar and hung it on one of the coat hooks.

“Now what?” He asked.

“I suppose we should have asked when she ate last.” Cas frowned as he thought about that. “I’ll call Debbie and ask the feeding schedule.”

“I’ll get her a bowl of water. You bought food and water dishes, right?” Dean asked as he headed for the kitchen.

“Yes, they’re in the cabinet with the dog food, under the kitchen sink.”

Dean set out a bowl of water near the door to the back porch, in a spot he thought it wouldn’t get kicked. Molly followed him, curious about what he was doing and her little tail wagged when he set the bowl down.

“That’s for you girl. Papa will figure out when we can feed you and then we’ll put food down for you too.” He scratched behind her ear and she jumped up, putting her paws on his chest so she could lick his face.

“Oh, gross!” He laughed when he was hit with her wet beard. 

“She’s on two feedings a day, so around six she’ll get fed.” Cas called out from the kitchen.

“Alright.” Dean stood up and went back to the kitchen. Molly followed. “Where’s Gracie?” 

“Bathroom. I’ll go check on her.” Cas replied. He went down the hall while Dean went to the living room. He knelt down in front of the box of dog toys and dug around until he found the teething toys Cas had bought. He wiggled one in front of the puppy and she happily took it. Dean watched her for a moment, a happy smile on his face before he got up and walked over to the couch. He sat down and picked up the remote. The tv was just turning on when he felt pressure on the cushion next to him and he turned to see Molly had jumped up on the couch. He was about to tell her to get down when she laid down, putting her head in his lap.

“Damn it.” He muttered. Cas and Gracie walked in the room and Gracie crawled up to sit on the other side of the dog.

“My puppy gots a toy?” She asked as she picked up the nylon bone Molly had abandoned in favor of resting on Dean’s lap.

“Yes, your puppy has a toy.” Cas corrected her as he sat down on the other side of Dean. He looked down at the puppy who was staring up at Dean with a look of absolute adoration. “I thought you said no dogs on the couch?” He whispered softly. Dean shot him a dirty look.

“I did. Why don’t you show her where her bed is?”

Cas got up and pulled the dog bed over, setting it at Dean’s feet. “Come here Molly, this is your bed puppy girl.” He patted the bed. The puppy’s ears perked up and she lifted her head to look up at him but she didn’t move from her perch at Dean’s side. 

“I think she likes you, babe.” Cas said with a laugh. 

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” Dean scratched the pup’s head and she climbed further into his lap. Gracie pushed into his lap too.

Dean flipped stations til he settled on a college basketball game. Cas leaned into him and they got lost in the game. After a few minutes of playing with Molly, Gracie got bored and got down to go to her toy box. Curiosity got the better of her and Molly finally got down from the couch to go and investigate what Gracie was up to. After a few minutes of watching Gracie she went back to the couch and sat down at Dean’s feet. She whimpered and he looked down into warm, chocolate brown eyes.

“You have to go to the bathroom, girl?” He asked. Her ears perked up and she started wagging her tail. “Ok, come on then.” He got to his feet after handing Cas the remote and led Molly out to the backyard. 

“This is your toilet for now, til your dog run is here.” He told the puppy. She went slowly down the deck steps, stopping to sniff at everything along the way. He watched as she explored, pausing once to pee near the back fence, almost where they were planning to put the dog run anyway.

“Did she use the bathroom?” Cas asked from the doorway. Dean turned to him and nodded.

“She peed. Now she’s just getting used to all the sights and smells. I think the people on the other side of the fence still have that little Yorkie. She probably smells it.” 

“They do but the dog is like ancient. I know it’s blind.” Cas stepped out onto the deck and crossed his bare arms. It was chilly out.

“Are you happy, baby?” Dean asked as he slipped an arm around his husband’s waist. Cas leaned into him, smiling as he watched Molly running around.

“Yes, I am. It was on my bucket list to someday own a dog. One more thing I can scratch off now.” He sighed. Dean was warm and he snuggled a little closer.

“You have a bucket list?” Dean asked.

“It’s up here.” Cas tapped at his own temple. “But yes, I do.”

“What else is on that list? What have you already scratched off?” Dean asked.

“I’ve been keeping the list a long time. Starting my own band was a big one, each of my tattoos and piercings were on there, meeting a couple of celebrities that I was dying to meet, some of those I crossed off, others I may never get to, but that’s ok. Meeting the man of my dreams was on there, but that was one that I thought was more wishful thinking than anything. Until I met you. I think I had that one crossed off pretty early in our relationship.” He laughed.

“I’m the man of your dreams?” Dean teased, wiggling his eyebrows in mock seduction. Cas elbowed him.

“Hush, you know you are. But proposing to you, that was on there, someday having kids, a dog, a house, that was all on there. I’ve scratched a lot off in the last year, but there’s a long way to go still. The only difference is that now I want to cross those things off my list with you.”

“Will you write them down so I can see the ones you still have? I have a list too, but I tucked it away years ago after I started to think I’d never get anything on it. I haven’t looked at it in probably seven or eight years.” Dean had the list tucked in the footlocker in their closet, inside a small metal case his father had given him when he was sixteen.

“Sure. I’m always adding to the list too. Graduating college is on there now, paying off the house, traveling, taking you on an actual honeymoon, that’s all on there now.” Cas smiled up at him and Dean leaned down to kiss the tip of his nose.

“We’ll scratch them off the list, one at a time.” Dean assured him.

“Is a puppy paying?” Gracie stepped out onto the deck and Dean chuckled when he saw that she had grabbed her jacket, though it was on inside out.

“She came outside to go pee pee.” Cas explained. Gracie frowned.

“She go pee pee inna yard?”

Both of her fathers nodded.

“Eww.” She declared.

Dean burst out laughing. “Honey, she can’t sit on the toilet in the bathroom. This is where doggies go potty, in the grass.”

“I’m going to go grab the toys I bought for her to play with outside.” Cas said before heading back into the house. He really wanted an excuse to grab his own jacket. Molly noticed Gracie and came trotting over. The little girl made her way down the short flight of steps to the grass and took off running towards her swing set with the puppy in tow. She squealed happily and for the first time they Molly yipped in excitement. Cas returned wearing one of Dean’s flannels and carrying a bunch of toys, including a six pack of tennis balls. Dean took the container of bright yellow balls and opened it.

“Molly!” He called out. The pup’s head lifted and she looked over at him. “Here girl!” He chucked the ball across the yard and the puppy took off after it. She caught it just before it hit the fence and sat down to chew on it.

“I think we need to teach her the concept of fetch.” Cas pointed out.

“I think you’re right. Toss her other toys down. I’ll look into finding something water proof to keep her toys in that can sit on the deck. That way she’s not dragging toys in and out of the house.” Dean said. Cas nodded and tossed a few more toys in the grass. Molly abandoned the ball to come investigate the new toys. She found a rope toy almost as big as her and began dragging it around. When Gracie walked over and grabbed the other end of the rope Molly’s tail started wagging.

“I don’t think we’re going to have any problems with those two getting along.” Cas said, a huge smile forming on his lips.

“I think you’re right.” Dean agreed. He pulled Cas against him and they watched their daughter playing with her new puppy. This was a perfect moment for him. This was what family meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that, you may or may not need tissues and a seatbelt over the next few chapters. It will depend on my mood. But I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. I had fun writing it. I absolutely adore Gracie, and I think I shall soon come to love Molly too. I'm sure you all can tell who she's attaching herself to already, lol.
> 
> Leave me a comment, you guys know I love them. And I love you guys!


	54. Martin Novak is an Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabe comes to see his brother and he's upset. Cas does what he can to calm the man down, until the person that caused the problem in the first place shows up at the Winchesters' door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been at this chapter for a few days, but as many of you know I took a brief break to write Bad Pick Up Lines, because it was a prompt I just couldn't pass up. I have another prompt I will be working on now that this one is starting to draw to an end. I hope you like this chapter though. There will be just a couple more I think, including an epilogue, and then we'll be all done. Sigh...I will miss the Cas and Dean in this verse, they hold a special place in my heart.

Life with a puppy was an adjustment for everyone, but most of all for Dean. He found himself tripping over Molly constantly as she was like a virtual shadow, following him everywhere when he was home. This particular evening Gabe had stopped by and it was clear the man was upset by the way he was pacing in their kitchen. Cas finally had to grab him and push him into a seat.

“Start talking.” He ordered. Gabe looked up at his younger brother with a mixture of rage and hurt, though Cas knew neither were directed at him.

“So she found me. Called me a few days ago and we talked. Surprised she didn’t come to me first since Nancy’s mom knew exactly where I was, but that’s a moot point. She showed up at my work this morning. Told me what you’d already told me, about leaving dad. It looks like she got herself an apartment locally. Why she had to come here, I have no idea, but she’s not leaving. She said dad came after her, got violent and she had to get a couple of her neighbors to throw him out of the building.”

“Ok, but why are you so mad?” Dean asked as he walked over to the table and sat down. As soon as he was seated, Molly was sitting at his feet with her head in his lap.

“She tried to say that Cas and I are just lost, that we’re not really gay and bisexual. She’s convinced we lost our way and that she received a sign from God telling her that she needs to guide us and show us the error of our ways. But when I talked to her last week on the phone she seemed ok with Cas here being married to you, Dean, and she didn’t have much to say about Nancy being a lesbian or me being bi. But today she was all high and mighty about it. I told her she could get out and stay gone.” Gabe replied bitterly. He ran a hand through his dark blonde hair and Dean could see that his hand was shaking. 

“The bitch is going to come back here, I just know it. Try to feed you the same crock of shit.” 

Cas frowned deeply as he considered his brother’s words. “Maybe that wasn’t her talking. That sounds more like dad than her, wouldn’t you say?” Gabe shrugged.

“Does it make a difference? If she’s divorcing him, why would still be listening to him?”

“Because that’s all she did for more than forty years was listen to him. Some habits are hard to break.” Dean said. Both brothers looked at him with matching looks of disappointment and anger.

“It’s pointless. She’s not going to convince me that I’m straight.” Cas finally said.

When the doorbell rang a few minutes later Dean felt his heart leap into his throat. He hadn’t wanted to admit it but the entire issue with Naomi made him nervous, though he wasn’t exactly sure why. It wasn’t like she could suddenly convince Cas that he was straight, but what if she started filling his head with all sorts of crazy nonsense? What if Cas decided his religion really did take precedence and he left? What if… Molly sniffed the air, noting the change in his scent and pressed in closer, nudging his hand with her nose until he brought it to rest on her head. Cas gave Dean a look of concern before he started for the door.

“No!” Dean and Gabe heard Cas yell a second later. Dean felt his heartbeat increasing but a warm, wet tongue on his hand a second later startled him and he looked down to see Molly looking up at him.

Gabe had gotten up to go see what the commotion was while Dean remained seated at the table.

“You already know, don’t you girl?” He asked softly. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was helpless to stop it on his own. His brain was going over the possible worst case scenarios of what could happen if Naomi Novak filled Cas’ head with any of the poison she’d been spewing at Gabe earlier and suddenly it became harder to breath. Molly moved closer, positioning herself between his legs and resting her head on his thigh, closer to his belly. He could feel her warm body pressed against his and he got the impression that if he tried to get up, she would force him back down. He focused on the warm pup staring up at him with chocolate brown eyes rather than on the commotion going on by the front door. Slowly it was becoming easier to breath.

“You haven’t even started your training yet, silly girl.” He ruffled the puppy’s fur and her tail wagged a bit, though she never lifted her head from his lap. He was starting to calm back down, his heart beat slowing back to normal.

“I’m ok, girl. Move.” He ordered and the puppy stood up and moved a few feet away. As he went to the front door she followed. 

Of course it was Naomi at the door. When she spotted Dean she gave her most pleading expression.

“Please, I just want to talk!”

“Cas, Gabe, let her in already. I don’t want the neighbors hearing this!” Dean complained. Cas shot him an annoyed look before finally relenting and stepping aside to allow his mother into his house.

“If you’re coming to spew more of the garbage you tried this morning, get out!” Gabe snapped as he shut the door.

“Please, everyone, living room.” Dean told them. He ushered everyone into the living room where this time he and Cas sat together on the couch with Gabe on Cas’ right. Naomi sat in the armchair nearest the couch.

“I apologize for earlier, it was not my place to come to your work to have such a conversation.” She directed her words at Gabe who looked dumbfounded.

“It’s not your place to bring up that kind of conversation period!” Gabe snapped angrily. Naomi flinched at the harshness of her son’s voice and shrank back on herself. Dean reached across Cas to grab his arm.

“Dude, you’re no better than your father right now speaking in that tone. Chill!”

Gabe looked over at him in horror before looking back at his mother. She looked like she was hoping the cushions of the armchair would just swallow her whole. He looked at Cas who looked angry still but nodded in agreement with Dean.

“Well fuck me, he’s the last person I ever wanted to be compared to.” He muttered.

“Why are you here mother? I thought I made myself clear during your last impromptu visit that you were not welcome here.” Cas said. Naomi sat forward a bit, her gaze darting nervously towards Gabe before her blue eyes locked on Cas’.

“Your father…he found me here. He showed up at my apartment and…” She shook her head. “Perhaps it would just be better if I showed you.”

She stood up and slowly removed her suit jacket. Keeping her back to them she unbuttoned her blouse and dropped it enough that they could see the deep bruises that crisscrossed over her back. Cas was on his feet before Dean or Gabe could react and rushing to Naomi. He pulled her blouse back up before pulling her into his arms.

“I’ll fucking kill him.” He snarled. Molly sat at his feet looking up at him as though waiting for him to tell her what the danger was.

“He told me I was wrong to accept my children the way they are, and that I am stupid and weak. This is what he has done to me since we first married. His father taught him that it was a man’s job to keep their woman in in line. Any time your father felt that I was being disobedient…” She tugged her shirt back onto her shoulders and buttoned it before turning back around. “I got this. Never where anyone could see it though. He had an image to maintain. I’m sorry, Gabriel, I panicked after he came to see me. I thought he would force me to return with him and I said things I don’t really mean. I don’t think that I’ve ever really gotten to think for myself, not in my entire life.” She sat back down but Cas remained at her side with a hand resting on her shoulder.

“You need to see a doctor for that, and file a police report. Document it for your divorce proceedings.” Dean told her. 

“I know. I’m just…scared.”

“You can’t continue to live in fear of that asshole. You finally got free, it’s time to stand up for yourself.” Gabe said. She sighed and nodded. 

“Where is your daughter?” She asked suddenly.

“Oh, Gracie’s with her grandma, they’re baking cookies for a church fundraiser.” Cas replied.

“Oh, that must be nice.” 

“Cas taught her to play the piano. She’s pretty good too. Right now he’s working on Amazing Grace with her. She thinks he wrote the song for her.” Dean said, smiling at his husband.

“Already? How old is she?” Naomi asked.

“She’ll be three in July.” Cas replied.

“And she already plays the piano? Is she a prodigy as well?” She asked her son.

“Possibly, but she also has two dads that are both musically inclined, one of which has the patience to actually sit through teaching a toddler to play the piano. So mostly it’s hard work and a ton of patience.” Cas explained.

“My patience lies in being forced to watch the movie Frozen a million times without losing my mind.” Dean joked. Cas chuckled at that.

“I’m surprised she’s not begging me to teach her to play ‘Let It Go’.” 

“You just jinxed yourself there little brother.” Gabe sat back, pointing a finger at Cas as he spoke.

“You’re right, I probably did.”

“When did you get these?” Naomi touched one of the tattoos on Cas’ arm as she studied it.

“I got my first one not long after I got out of the hospital, when I was learning how to walk again.” He replied. He turned his arm over so she could see the cross on his wrist. “This one.”

“Not what I would have expected.” She admitted.

“No one ever does, but my faith is still important to me.” 

She looked up, studying his face. “I can’t say I’m crazy about the piercings, but you’ve always been such a handsome boy. They don’t detract from your beauty.”

He grinned and looked over at Dean who looked amused.

“Hey, I like the piercings and the tattoos.” Dean said, a huge smile on his face. He sat back and Molly joined him on the couch. He scratched behind her ear and she put her head in his lap.

“When did you get a dog?” She asked.

“She’s a new addition to the family, since you and dad wouldn’t let me have even so much as a goldfish growing up.” Cas’ words came out harsher than he had intended and he cringed once they had passed his lips.

“Yes, I know. Your father felt animals were unnecessary. When we were first introduced I had a pet canary. I’d had him for six years, got him for my tenth birthday from my mother. I adored that bird. I met your father when I was sixteen, married him a year later. My bird was dead in his cage less than two days after we had moved in together. I mourned for my little friend and he insulted me for it. I asked for another and he refused.”

“He killed your bird?” Gabe asked, shocked.

“That’s what I always believed. I never told anyone that until now though.”

Gabe stood up. “Well, I think you need to go to the hospital so those bruises can be documented. I’ll take you. But know this mother, I will not tolerate any homophobic or hateful words aimed at myself or Cas. We’ve already been to hell and back thanks to your husband, especially Cas here, and we do not deserve any of it. He’s happily married to the man of his dreams and has a beautiful family that is only going to get bigger. Not you or anyone has the right to try and make him feel bad for that or try to take that away from him. I am single right now and I like it that way, but should I meet someone, man or woman that I am comfortable and happy with, I will not hesitate to permanently cut out anyone, you included, that tries to make me feel like I’m an awful person for wanting to find my own love.”

Naomi looked up at him with wide blue eyes and nodded. “I won’t.” It came out almost as a whisper. She had been beaten down and degraded, brainwashed for so long that she was meek, willing to go along with whatever she was told.

“I’m curious though, what is your real opinion of my marriage?” Cas asked her. As she stood up she smoothed down her skirt and looked at her son.

“I have no opinion. As a mother, all I ever wanted was for my children to be happy. I knew none of you were while you were living at home, and even after, when you were forced to do your father’s bidding. When you came out I was…not surprised. I think I always suspected. I just hoped your father hadn’t. Until that drama with Rachel I’m fairly certain he had no idea. I am glad that you have finally found the happiness you deserve, and I’m glad you found it with the person you love. I’m still adjusting to the fact that I have a son in law that is actually wanted, and a grandchild! That is what I am reeling from, not that you are gay and married to a man.” She turned to look at Dean who had moved Molly over so he too could stand up.

“You are a handsome and kind young man. You make Castiel happy and I can see how much the two of you love one another. That is all I ever wanted. Whether he found that love in a gay or heterosexual marriage was a moot point. I just wanted him to find it at all.”

Dean felt a lump form in his throat that he was unable to swallow down. He gave a small smile and nodded as Cas walked over and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“He makes me just as happy.” He finally managed to say, though they could all hear how raw his voice was.

“I propose that we do everything we can to keep dad away from her too. He’s not going to give up. If he came all the way from Illinois just to attack her, he’s probably still in the area. Not like he has a church to run anymore. He’s lost everything.” Cas said.

“He truly has. The church disbanded not long after Rafael left. Your father’s most devout followers left. His true colors were finally starting to come to light and people were frightened of him.” Naomi said.

“Serves the bastard right.” Gabe muttered. He grunted in anger before shaking his head to clear it. “Alright, let’s get going.” 

Cas pulled away from Dean to walk them to the door. “If the police need to talk to us, give us a heads up. We’ll make sure Sam’s here with us, just in case.” He said as he opened it. Gabe nodded.

“Thank you, both. I know I don’t deserve your kindness, but it is very much appreciated.” Naomi said to them both.

“Just stay away from him, that’s all I ask.” Cas said. Gabe nodded in agreement.

Once they were gone Cas shut the door and leaned back against it. His mind was a whirling mess and his emotions were all over the place. Dean went to him, arms open, and he melted into the embrace.

“Are you ok?” Dean asked.

“I’m…getting better. It’s so weird seeing her again. I plan to keep talking to my therapist about it.”

“Talk to me too, ok? I need to know how you’re doing, and how her presence is affecting you.” Dean murmured into his hair. 

“I know. Come on, let’s go sit in the living room.” Cas took him by the hand and led him back.

“Molly, bed.” He ordered and the dog jumped down from the couch. She laid down in her bed and looked up at them with mild interest. With the couch clear be motioned for Dean to sit down with him.

“So talk to me babe.” Dean said as they settled back on the cushions. Cas pulled his legs up under him and leaned into his husband’s embrace.

“I’m scared, Dean. I worry that my dad is going to force her to go back, that he’s going to corrupt her mind again and she’ll end up dead. She’s not…the evil person I thought she was. I had no idea of what my dad was doing to her. I didn’t know he was beating her.” He lifted his head to look at Dean. “He told me I needed to keep Rachel in line, that it was my duty as a husband to discipline her. I could never do that to another person though.”

Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair. “Your dad is a monster. He was twisted by his own father, and it probably goes back for generations. This is part of the reason why I despise organized religion. What you do with Gracie? I can get behind that. The whole sitting in church and having the bible and all its rules drilled into your head until you’re a walking, talking zombie spewing passages that you don’t even fully comprehend, that’s what I have a problem with. All I know is that Martin Novak better never come around this house or I swear to God I’ll put the man six feet under.”

Cas smirked and shook his head. “My hero.” He teased.

“Always and forever. We’re supposed to take care of each other, and there’s no way I’ll let that bastard hurt you again.” Dean tilted his head and puckered his lips, a clue that he wanted Cas to kiss him, so he did.

“Do you think your mom is strong enough to stay away from him?” Dean asked as he sat back. Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder and sighed.

“I don’t know. When we were kids, all he had to do was tell her to jump and she’d ask how high. We never questioned why she was like that. I honestly thought she was just the dutiful wife, always wanting to make him happy. He degraded her verbally, a lot, but he degraded us kids too. If I’d known what he was doing back then I’d have done something to get her out of there. I can’t believe we never noticed.”

“Don’t blame yourself. As much as your father hid the fact that he was abusing her, she did a stellar job of hiding the abuse too. You didn’t notice because you were having instruments, music lessons, church and an unwanted marriage shoved down your throat. It amazes me that you turned out as fantastic as you did. That’s what I thank God for. That you rose above all of that and became the man that I love.” 

Dean’s words were tender and deep, and Cas felt a lump forming in his throat. As his eyes began to fill with tears he buried his face against his husband’s shoulder. When he felt the wetness seeping into his shirt Dean sat forward a bit and pulled Cas all the way into his lap.

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be ok. You’re out, she’s out, you found your future and she’s going to make her own as well.” He kissed Cas’ temple as he spoke and out of habit from Gracie, began to slowly rock back and forth. 

“It’s not that. I just…you really thank God? For me?” Blue eyes lifted to meet his green ones and Dean nodded.

“Every single day.” 

That was too much. Cas burst into tears and Dean hugged him tight.

“I don’t even know why I’m fucking crying!” Cas was irritated with himself. He didn’t want to be seen as weak. 

“Because you’re being forced to confront a part of your past that you thought was gone forever, and it’s not what you expected. You’re overwhelmed, stressed out, and your emotions are a mess. It’s perfectly ok to cry.” Dean told him. 

They sat like that for a long time, Cas just sitting in his lap, staring off towards the kitchen, lost in thought while Dean ran a hand gently across his back in soothing circles, lost in thoughts of his own. When the doorbell rang a while later Cas reluctantly got up to go answer it.

“Papa! Look! Gamma n me made cookies!” The little girl was thrusting a bag of still warm cookies at her father. He smiled and nodded.

“Do daddy and I get some?” He asked. She nodded and carefully unzipped the bag to pull out a cookie. She handed it to him before kicking her shoes off and running into the living room to inform Dean of her bag of baked treasures. Cas turned his attention to Ellen.

“Come on in.” He said as he bit into the cookie. “Dang, these are good!” Ellen chuckled as she slipped her shoes off. She pressed a larger bag of cookies into his hand.

“Don’t let Dean eat them all, because he will try.” Cas grinned and nodded.

“I know.”

“So how was your time without the munchkin?” She asked as they walked into the living room. Cas leveled her with a look that told her it hadn’t been all that pleasant.

“My mother showed up again.” Ellen was about to sit in one of the armchairs but instead walked over to him, putting her hands on his arms and looking him in the eye.

“Are you ok, sweetie?”

He shrugged. “I’ll let you know.”

“Where is she now?” She asked.

“Gabe took her to the hospital. Apparently my dad drove down here and beat the crap out of her, and he was apparently abusing her their entire marriage. My brother’s going to get her to file a police report and press charges of assault, or domestic battery or whatever.”

Ellen’s look of worry grew even more intense and she pulled him into a hug. “I’m so sorry, darlin. I know it’s not easy for you having her show back up, but you got family that’s watching out for you. You are very loved, don’t you ever forget that.”

Cas hugged her bag with more intensity than he had anticipated. All he had ever wanted was to be loved and accepted, and he had found that within the rag tag Winchester family. When they parted she moved to the armchair and sat down. He moved to the couch and sat down next to Dean who was being fed bits of cookie by Gracie.

“Daddy wanna cookie so I feeded him one.” She explained to Cas.

“I see that. Does daddy like your cookies?” He looked at Dean who winked at him before nodding.

“Grandma and Gracie make the best cookies.” 

“Yes, gamma n a Gracie make da bestest cookies.” Gracie looked over at Ellen for her to agree which she did with a smile and a nod.

“Was she good for you?” Dean asked.

“Yes she was. She got a bath already. The second batch of cookies we made were snickerdoodles and I tried to teach her how to roll out the balls and dip them in the sugar and cinnamon, except she tipped the bowl and ended up wearing it all. So if she smells like cinnamon I apologize, I tried to get it all out of her hair.” Ellen replied with a snicker.

“It wouldn’t be the first time she got something in her hair.” Dean sighed. He leaned in to sniff his daughter’s blonde curls but all he smelled was the strawberry scent of her shampoo. “She’s fine.” He pronounced.

“Hey, it’s time for bed, monkey. Come on, let’s go get your jammies on.” Cas took the bag of cookies from his daughter and handed them to Dean before picking her up. Once they were gone Ellen sat forward in his seat.

“Was he crying?” She asked.

“Yeah. He’s going through a lot right now. His emotions are all over the place. He doesn’t know how to feel about his mother. It’s a more fucked up relationship than what I had with my dad. I’m just trying to be there for him as much as I can.” He said. She nodded.

“Good, he needs you more than ever right now.”

The conversation turned to her baking experience with Gracie and how she was trying to teach Bobby to play songs on their little piano while they waited for the cookies to cool. Bobby already knew how but he turned into a big, cuddly teddy bear around the child and he pretended not to know how so that she could teach him. Dean was as thankful for Ellen and Bobby as he was for Cas. They had always been the stable, loving parental figures in his life that he had needed so bad, and they were proving to be wonderful grandparents, just as he had always known they would. When Cas finally returned he plopped down next to Dean and snatched the bag of cookies back. He plucked one out and bit into it.

“I really need to do more baking, these are fantastic.” He moaned. Ellen smiled and shook her head.

“Any time you want to learn, sugar, you come on by. I’ll teach you how to make anything you want.”

After a few more minutes of talk, Ellen got up to leave. Cas saw her to the door with Molly following after. When she was gone Cas took the two bags of cookies and hid them in the microwave, the one kitchen appliance that he had wanted that Dean refused to use. Gracie couldn’t reach it so he felt the cookies might actually last a few days in there. His phone rang in his pocket and he pulled it out to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Cas? It’s Michael. I just got a call from Gabe. Is mom in the hospital?” His brother asked.

“Yes, she is. You know how I told you she had just shown up a while back? Well she showed up again today. Apparently dad found her new apartment and showed up this morning. Beat her pretty bad too. Did…you know he was abusing her when we were kids? That he was abusing her for their entire marriage?” Cas asked.

“No, but then again I tried my hardest to stay on dad’s good side. We all know how hard that was. I just thought mom was weak, unable to stand up to him. I didn’t realize he was beating her into submission.” Michael said.

“Well he was. From what I understand it started as soon as they were married.” Cas had made his way back to the living room where Dean was watching a game with the volume set low. He curled up on the couch again and leaned into his husband.

“Is she ok?” Michael asked.

“The bruises were pretty bad. Gabe took her to get them looked at and documented. He wants her to put a restraining order against dad, and to file charges against him. She’s so…weak, Michael. I think if one of us told her to go jump off a bridge, she’d do it. I’m afraid she won’t be strong enough to resist going back to him.” Cas looked up at Dean, studying the man’s strong jawline as he watched the game. He knew his husband was listening though, the firm set of his jaw told him as much.

“How are you holding up? And how is Dean doing? You healed now?” His brother asked.

“Yeah, the migraines finally stopped and my ribs are good. Bastard got prison time too, so we’re happy.” Cas replied.

“I’m, uh, coming your way for a medical conference at the end of June. I was thinking we could all get together. I’m bringing the family with. Are you having a party for Gracie’s third birthday?” 

Cas touched Dean’s chest with his free hand, nudging him gently. “Hey, are we having a party for Gracie’s birthday? I sort of assumed we were since it’ll be her first birthday with us, and probably the first one she might actually remember.” Dean looked at him and nodded.

“Of course. I just hope she picks something other than Frozen for a theme.” Dean said with a laugh.

“Yes, we’re having a party. Her birthday is the fourth. When are you coming in exactly? We can try to schedule the party around it.” Cas told his brother.

“It’s a three day conference, from the twenty seventh to the twenty ninth. We’ll be flying in on the twenty fourth and leaving the second. I’m getting ready to put in for the time off.” Michael said. Cas reached into Dean’s pocket, fishing out his phone and pulling up the calendar.

“Can you add an extra day on? I’d like to do her party the second, it’s a Saturday.” 

“Sure. I have plenty of time built up for it.” Michael replied.

“Good. You guys are welcome to stay here. We’ll make the room.” Cas offered.

“No, that’s alright. I’ll get a couple of hotel rooms. The girls are going through a sassy phase and I’d rather they not negatively influence Gracie.” Michael said with a chuckle.

“Oh, no, don’t need cocky teenage attitude rubbing off on a toddler!” Cas laughed.

He chatted a few more minutes with his brother before they finally hung up. It didn’t surprise him that he was tired, not after having cried.

“Baby, I’m going to bed. You coming up soon?” He asked as he handed Dean back his phone and stood up.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. This game’s a replay anyway. After I put Molly out and lock her up I’ll be up. Keep my spot warm for me, ok?” Dean winked and smiled at him. He smiled back.

“Alright. Don’t stay up too late, you said you wanted to do the Farmer’s Market in the morning.” Cas leaned down to kiss him before heading up to bed. Bored with the game, Dean turned the TV off and looked down at the dog who was slumbering peacefully in her bed.

“Hey, Molly. Come on girl, it’s time to go potty.” 

He got up and walked the dog outside to the dog run that Cas had insisted on putting up himself. It didn’t take the pup long to go pee and after a few minutes they were back inside the nice, warm house. She didn’t put up any fuss as he secured her in her kennel. 

Upstairs Dean walked into the bedroom to find Cas already asleep, the soft sounds of his snores filling the room. He undressed quietly before heading into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he returned to the room he had to move Cas over a bit just to reclaim his own side of the bed but as soon as he was under the covers, Cas was curling around him. He was unsurprised to find that his husband was completely naked. More often than not, Cas slept without anything between him and the sheets. Dean tucked the blankets around them both and placed a tender kiss to Cas’ forehead.

“I love you, sweetheart. Come hell or high water we will make it through this, and I will not let anyone hurt you.” He whispered so quietly he barely heard himself speaking, but his words carried a promise upon them, one that he would follow through on, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Molly already can recognize Dean's anxiety attacks. With proper training she'll be able to notify Cas, Gracie, Sam, or whoever is nearby that is is happening, but trying to calm him was instinctive, and it worked. So kudos to Molly! I have a cat that seems to recognize my anxiety attacks and he will come and step very carefully into my lap and sit, facing me, demanding I pet him. I'm forced to focus on him and it helps. My dog tries to lick me to death if he sees me having one, but he's an old, toothless chihuahua, lol, there's no subtlety with him, lol. Pets are wonderful at noticing changes lke that.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and are ok with the direction I went with Naomi. She isn't going to play a big part though. This I think will be the last chapter I have her in. If you like the chapter, leave a comment. You know I love them, and I love you guys!


	55. Dean's Worst Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and his family are coming to visit and Dean decides to throw a big barbecue to celebrate. Except someone that shows up was never invited in the first place, and they trigger the worst anxiety attack in Dean's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so those of you that know me? You know EXACTLY what I mean when I tell you to take those seatbelts and buckle them up tight, cause this chapter's a rough one! Hang on and enjoy the ride!

They didn’t hear too much from Naomi after her second visit. Gabe tended to act as the mediator, relaying information between mother and son when needed, and Cas preferred it that way. It was the end of June now and Michael was due in with his family any minute. He had told Cas the night before when they’d flown in not to come and pick them up, they had a rental car waiting, and that left the blue eyed man to pace excitedly as he waited for them to come to the house. Dean had decided to throw a huge barbecue in honor of the Novak family’s visit, and was in the kitchen marinating a half slab of ribs as he watched his husband pacing yet again, from living room to front door and back again.

“Sweetheart, they’ll be here soon. Why don’t you go fire up the grill for me? Check on Gracie and Maya?” Cas paused and looked up at him. The girls were alone in the backyard, save for Molly.

“Fine. If they show up though, come get me.”

“Of course.” Dean assured him, smiling warmly. Cas headed out to the yard leaving Dean alone in the house. 

When the front door opened a few minutes later, Sam and Gabe came walking in carrying coolers of ice that were filled with beer and soda.

“What’s all that?” Dean asked as he washed his hands.

“Libations.” Gabe said and wiggled his eyebrows. Sam rolled his eyes but he was grinning like an idiot.

“Put the soda one out on the deck, but leave the beer somewhere where the kids can’t reach it. Where’s your family? Nan dropped Maya off for a sleepover last night, but she hasn’t gotten here yet today. Hasn’t called either.” Dean asked his brother in law.

“I’ll call her. I think they wanted time alone with Robbie.” Gabe nudged Sam to help him lift the beer cooler up onto the kitchen table. Sam grabbed the one full of soda and headed for the backyard.

“Where’s Cas?” Gabe asked as he fished a cold bottle of beer out of the cooler and popped the top on it.

“Yard. I got tired of him pacing and waiting by the door. He’s worse than Molly. Help me carry the meat out?” He handed Gabe the tray of ribs as he fished out more plates of meat from the fridge.

“Got enough food?” Gabe’s eyes widened as he took in all of the meat that was going on the grill.

“It’s a party Gabe. Besides, have you seen how much my brother can pack away? Don’t let his salad eating habits fool you.” Dean joked as he grabbed as many plates as he could carry. Cas was just coming back in the house when he spotted them coming through the sun porch with their arms loaded. He grabbed half of the plates Dean was carrying.

“You should have called me, I’d have come help.” Cas chastised. Dean ignored his complaint and lifted the lid on the grill. He had set out his grill kit earlier and he lifted out a spatula to move the burgers from their plate onto the grill. Cas grabbed the tongs and moved the steaks onto the other end. They worked as a team until they had everything on it. Dean kissed Cas’ neck, bringing a smile to his husband’s lips before he headed back into the house, leaving Cas to man the grill. The front door opened and Nan walked in with Liz and Robbie.

“Hey, I was wondering where you were.” He said as he started on the macaroni salad. He’d prepared the elbow noodles the night before so all he had to do was add the other ingredients. Liz walked in, grabbing an apron off the wall and pulling her hair back.

“Tell me what to do.” 

He smiled and handed her an onion and a knife. “Cutting board is in there.” He nodded towards a drawer in the island. She pulled it out and got to chopping. Nan joined in and soon they had a fruit salad ready along with the macaroni salad and a potato salad. Cas came in to get clean plates, slipping the dirty ones into the dishwasher before heading back out to the yard. Dean let Nan and Liz take the salads outside while he whipped together some greens. As he was setting out paper plates and salad dressings the doorbell rang. Assuming it was Michael, he went to answer the door.

Dean wiped his hands on his apron and opened the door, the smile on his lips dying when he realized it wasn’t his brother in law. He didn’t know this man at all but one look at him and he had a fairly good idea of who he was.

“Can I help you?” 

The man didn’t say anything at first, he still seemed to be taking in the fact that Dean had answered the door in an apron.

“Dude, what do you want?” Dean asked, his tone a little harsher.

“I am looking for Naomi Novak. Or Gabriel Novak.” The man finally said. The look on his face was one of pure disgust.

“You’re Martin, aren’t you.” Dean already knew. “How did you get my address?”

“You’re the one living in sin with Castiel. Dean Winchester.” Martin spat at him. There was so much venom in his voice it filled the space between them with a toxicity that was almost palpable.

“I am not living in sin, neither is Cas. We are legally married, in love, and we sure as hell don’t need your approval.” Dean snapped. Martin was not a small man but he wasn’t nearly as tall as Dean either. 

“Where is my wife?” Martin demanded.

“She’s not here, and even if she was, there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that I would hand her over to an asshole like you.” 

Martin had blue eyes, though his were almost gray in color. They widened for a moment in surprise, as though he were shocked that someone would actually dare to stand up to him, and then narrowed dangerously.

“You have no right to speak to me in such a tone, and to use such foul language! It’s no wonder my son fell so far down, he associates with heathens like you!” 

Before Dean could react Martin had his hands on Dean’s chest and shoved him hard. Not expecting it, Dean lost his balance and went flying backwards. He hit the floor with his ass and one elbow.

“Son of a bitch!” He roared as he started to get up but Martin was already inside the house, looming over Dean. It was a second too late that Dean spotted the gun in his hand. With snarl he pistol whipped Dean so hard in the side of the head he spun around, landing on his face. Martin stormed into the house screaming for Naomi and slamming open every door he came to.

“Dean?” Cas was coming in from the backyard in time to see his husband struggling to get up from the floor. He was clutching at his chest and Cas immediately knew his husband was having a panic attack. He rushed to Dean’s side, fear causing ice to form in his veins when he saw the blood dripping down the man’s face. 

Somewhere upstairs someone was screaming for his mother and he looked up in confusion. Dean grabbed the front of his shirt and shook him. 

“C-call the police! Now!” Dean wheezed. 

“What? What happened?” Cas tried to catch Dean as his legs started to give out.

“C-Cas…please…get…Gracie…get out! He has…a gun!” He wheezed as he went down on his knees, the edges of his vision narrowing until he could hardly see his husband at all. Molly was barking like mad at the back door but Cas ignored her, his attention was solely on Dean. He’d heard the word gun and went immediately into fight or flight more. There was no way he was leaving his husband behind so as Dean completely passed out, he hooked his arms around the man’s upper chest and dragged him to the back door. As he slid the French door open Molly came barreling into the house but he didn’t have time to worry about her, he had to get his family to safety. 

“Sam! Gabe! Call the police now!” He screamed.

Everyone froze. 

“What’s going on?” Gabe asked as everyone went into motion. He and Sam ran for the deck while Nan pulled out her phone.

“Get the kids and get out of here!” Cas screamed. Nan still had a phone to her ear as she snatched Gracie up. Liz already had Maya in her arms and Robbie by the hand and was making the kids climb the fence into the neighbor’s yard. Jess was just walking into the yard through the gate and she frowned as she watched Nan climbing the fence.

“Sam?” She turned to her fiancé, looking for an answer. She had Buster on a leash at her side.

“No! Jess! Get out of here, someone’s in the house!” Sam waved for her to leave but she ran to him instead.

“Who’s in the house?” She demanded as she knelt over Dean. “Shit, he’s not breathing!” She started CPR compressions, elbowing Sam when he tried to get her to leave again.

“I’m not leaving him!” She snapped.

“I can do CPR!” He pushed her out of the way, taking over but she still wouldn’t leave.

“He’s breathing again!” She announced as she checked Dean’s pulse.

“Oh my God!” Cas’ vision was blurry with tears as he leaned over Dean. Inside the house Molly was not just barking but snarling viciously. He’d never heard the dog like that before. 

“Let’s get him up and out of here, it’s not safe.” Gabe said as he helped Sam lift Dean up. Unconscious, the man was a dead weight that was difficult to lift.

“I-I think it’s dad in the house. Dean said he had a gun!” Cas gasped as they hurried across the yard towards the gate. Sirens were rapidly approaching and just as they reached the gate, they heard the first bullet go flying as the French doors shattered. Sam shoved his brother and Cas to the ground before grabbing Jess and Gabe. He pulled them with him as bullets began to fly.

“You can’t hide that whore from me! She will get her due punishment!” Martin Novak screamed as he came down the deck stairs. The man had clearly lost his mind. Cas watched in horror as his father raised his gun and aimed it right at him. Suddenly he was slamming face first into the ground, the gun going off as he bounced off the cement path that led to the gate. 

“Shit! It’s one of the dogs!” Gabe cried. The gun had gone flying off into Dean’s flower garden and Martin Novak was pinned to the ground under Buster’s weight as the dog snapped and snarled at him.

“Get this fucking dog off me!” Martin screamed.

“I don’t think so you fucking prick. I hope he kills you.” Gabe screamed. Molly came flying out of the house, making a bee line straight for Dean.

“Oh God, is he still breathing? Please, Jess, is he breathing?” Cas was crying so hard his entire body was shaking as he held Dean’s limp form in his arms. Jess was trying to calm him enough so she could listen for Dean’s breaths.

“Yes, it’s shallow, his airway is still compromised. Was he having an anxiety attack? Is that what did this?” She asked. Cas nodded. Molly was whimpering and nuzzling at Dean’s face. When Cas tried to push her away she pushed back. Gently she licked her master’s face, cleaning the blood away that had finally stopped pouring out of his temple. She tried to lift his hand with her muzzle and slowly his fingers began to flex. 

“Cops are here.” Sam announced as he went to the gate to let them in. “Paramedics too.”

“Cas.” Dean groaned. He was still wheezing and when he tried to sit up Molly sat on his chest to push him back down. “Molly.” He complained but she whimpered and licked his cheek. They’d been going through enough training lately that he understood she was trying to keep him safe. Suddenly two paramedics ran over with a gurney. Only when they dropped to their knees to check Dean’s vitals did Molly finally sit back. She watched with interest as they lifted Dean onto the gurney and covered him with a blanket before strapping him down.

“Guys, your dog is bleeding.” Gabe knelt down next to Molly to investigate.

“She was cleaning up Dean’s blood.” Cas said as he stood by the gurney and waited for them to finish checking on him.

“No, Cas, that fucker shot your dog, there’s a hole in her damn leg!” Gabe had parted the hair on Molly’s front leg and took a good look. She yelped when he touched near it.

“No! Molly!” Dean sobbed, his breathing was getting tight again and Molly was immediately on her feet again. Even with the use of only three legs she jumped onto the gurney and laid down, resting her head on his chest. “Baby girl…” He cried.

“The dog can’t go, can you please remove her?” One of the paramedics asked.

“She’s a therapy dog for my husband. He suffers severe anxiety. If you remove her, he will have another panic attack.” Cas said.

“Get my goddamn arms out of here!” Dean was struggling against the belts and really starting to panic from the confinement. Jess stepped up to the gurney and loosened them. Dean immediately reached for the dog. “Molly!” He was crying and shaking terribly and it scared Cas half to death. Sam walked over and laid a hand on his brother’s shoulder as one of the paramedics slipped something into the IV they had put in Dean’s arm. 

“I’m going to take Molly to the vet right now. You are going to the hospital to get your head checked out and make sure you’re alright. Molly will be ok. I will call Cas when we leave the vet.” He spoke slowly and calmly. The terror in Dean’s eyes was slowly easing as the sedative hit his blood stream. Molly whined and nuzzled at the hand that was now too heavy to lift and pet her with. His eyelids grew heavy as he watched his brother lift Molly up gently. 

“I’m going with Dean, I can help relay his medical history and make sure he gets proper treatment.” Jess said. Sam nodded. 

“I’ll go with Sam. I’ll call Nan now and get her to watch the kids.” Gabe had his phone out. He’d watched the cops arrive and arrest his father. Buster had happily jumped off his back once he saw the men in blue walk up, sitting like a good boy, tail wagging until Gabe leashed him and led him away. 

 

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When Dean woke up next the sun had long since passed overhead and night was imminent.

“Molly…” He mumbled through parched lips.

“Dean? Baby?” Cas was at his side instantly, lifting his hand and kissing the back of it.

“Is he finally awake?” 

Dean recognized the voice but he couldn’t quite place it. As he struggled to open his eyes and focus he saw a pair of blue green eyes peering down at him from the other side of the bed. They were full of concern.

“Michael? Whennid you ge hur?” His words were still slurring as he swallowed and tried to find some sort of moisture in his mouth. There was none. Cas was holding a straw up to his lips and he sucked greedily at it. “Thank you, babe.” He sighed once he’d finished off half the cup. Michael had a pen light out and he took Dean’s chin gently in his hand, guiding the man’s attention back over to him.

“I want to check your eyes, Dean. Open wide and follow the light.” He instructed.

“Where’s Gracie? Where’s Molly? Are they ok?” Dean asked. He was starting to feel anxious again as he worried about his child and the dog that had tried to give her life to protect him.

“Shhh, Nancy and Liz have Gracie. Molly’s ok. My dad shot her but it went through the webbing just above the elbow on her left leg. So, nothing more than a flesh wound really. Vet said she’ll make a full recovery and with all the hair she’ll have, no one will even notice the scar. Sam talked to the cops and from what they were able to gather, and you can fill in the rest, my dad came to the door, hit you, and went through the house looking for my mom. After you passed out in my arms I dragged you outside and Molly slipped into the house. That’s the last thing I remember. The police said my father told them the dog attacked him and bit him, went right for the gun which was why he fired at her. He’s claiming self-defense. The police are saying she was protecting us. You specifically, Dean. And when he came outside Buster got him, pinned him to the ground. Took a good bite out of the back of his arm. Martin needed stitches in a couple of places, but the best part is that both dogs are ok, the kids didn’t see anything, they’re all safe, you’re going to be ok, and Martin is going to jail for a long, long time.” Cas leaned down to kiss his forehead. 

“They’re going to clear you soon Dean, and then you can go home.” Michael said.

“No, no, no, I can’t go back there, it’s not safe.” Dean shook his head, scrambling to sit up and push himself against the upright head of the bed. He was trembling again so Cas climbed into the bed, pulling him into his arms and letting Dean cling to him.

“I want you to listen to me, Dean. Martin can’t hurt us anymore. Sam, Gabe, and Bobby did something very nice for us, they installed a security system and cameras by both doors as well as an intercom system. We don’t have to open the door to anyone we don’t want to, and if it’s a stranger we can ask them what they want, ok? The doors are fixed too. It’s going to be ok, I promise.” Cas whispered the words in his ear as he ran a hand soothingly up and down his husband’s back. Dean broke down, the sobs racking his body as he buried his face against Cas’ shoulder.

“Owww…” He moaned when the sharp corner of Cas’ shoulder pressed against the bandage on his temple. 

“What happened?” He asked, lifting his fingers to gently touch it. He winced at the pain.

“You don’t remember?” Michael had sat down on the other side of Dean, near the foot of the bed and he rested a hand lightly on his brother in law’s ankle. Dean thought for a moment. He remembered answering the door and seeing a man he didn’t recognize standing there. The man had asked for Naomi. No, he had demanded Dean produce her. He’d known it was Cas’ dad, the family resemblance was too strong for it to be anyone else. Then he’d fallen down. No, that wasn’t right, he’d been pushed.

“Your dad came to the door. He wanted Naomi. I told him she wasn’t there and that even if she was, I wouldn’t give her up. I was about to shut the door in his face when he caught me off guard and pushed me hard. I fell down. I…don’t remember much after that. I think I woke up in the yard and Gabe said Molly was shot? And…I started to panic. Then I got so tired.” He sniffled and snuggled up against Cas as tight as he could. “I hate this. I hate being afraid. I hate…” He squeezed his eyes shut as his lower lip started to tremble again.

“You hate not being in control. But I’m going to do everything I can to give that back to you.” Cas promised. 

“You have a visitor.” Jess walked in the room and Dean lifted his head to look at her. She was in her nursing uniform, her smile bright and cheery as she came to check on his vitals.

“Hey sis, you’re my nurse?” Dean asked as he sniffled and wiped at his eyes.

“Sure am. I made sure you were on my rounds while you’re here. My boss is cool, she understands. How are you feeling?” She darted her eyes over to Michael who smiled and nodded.

“Doesn’t seem to have any lasting damage.” He told her.

“What exactly happened?” Dean asked.

“My dad came to kill my mom. She was pushing for the divorce and once he was served with the restraining order, he snapped. He ransacked Gabe’s place before heading our house looking for her. Mom moved out of that apartment and into a nicer one next to the police station downtown. Gabe literally moved her out like two days ago. Had he waited, she’d be dead. When you wouldn’t give her up he was convinced she was in the house and he knocked you down. When you tried to stop him he hit you really hard with the butt of the gun he had brought with him. He cracked your skull, darling, and you had a small brain hemorrhage. Michael got here in time and he’s the one that actually caught it. They had to drain the fluid off your brain but you’re going to be ok. Gracie misses her daddy. We want you to come home.” Cas kissed his temple and Dean closed his eyes, leaning into it.

“God you two are ridiculously cute.” Jess teased. 

“I have to agree with that. I think I need insulin shots now.” Michael said, grinning. 

“Hey now, that’s because we are adorable.” Dean said. He sighed deeply and looked over at Michael. “Thank you, for catching that. I’m really going to be ok?”

Michael nodded. “You’ll be good as new in no time.”

“Ready for a visitor?” Jess asked.

“I thought you were talking about yourself.” Dean said.

“No sweetie, Tessa’s here and wants to see you.” She said softly. Dean looked up at Cas.

“Did you call her?”

“I was scared. Every time you woke up, you went into a panic so they had to keep sedating you. I was hoping that talking to her would help.” Cas lowered his eyes and picked at a spot on his jeans. Dean realized he wasn’t wearing what he’d had on at the party. And Jess was at work.

“How long have I been here?”

“Three days.” Jess replied.

“What?!”

“Shh, you didn’t miss anything important. The meat all burned so we didn’t get dinner that night. Gabe sprung for Chinese and your daughter ate her first egg roll. Guess what? She loves them. We spent the rest of the time ordering and installing new French doors and the alarm system so that everything would be ready when you got home.” Michael told him. Dean leaned against Cas again.

“Yeah, I’ll see her, but please don’t leave.” He looked up at Cas who nodded.

“I won’t go anywhere unless you want me to.”

Jess stepped out of the room with Michael and Tessa went in. Michael watched the door close behind her.

“How long has Dean suffered from anxiety like that?” He asked. Jess looked up from Dean’s chart where she was still jotting down notes.

“You don’t know about his childhood, do you.” 

“Cas says he had it pretty rough, but he didn’t go into detail out of respect for Dean.” He replied. Jess sighed. 

“It’s my break, join me for a coffee in the cafeteria?”

Michael nodded and followed her down. Once they had their coffee and found a quiet booth at the back of the nearly empty cafeteria she started talking.

“I will give you the brief run down because even I don’t know it all. Sam wasn’t affected nearly as much by it because Dean went out of his way to keep his brother safe, but their mom died when they were really little. Dean was the one that got Sam out of the house as it burned down. Their dad tried to save Mary, but he couldn’t, and from what I understand, he was never the same man again. Cas and I didn’t meet him until he was already stage four with cancer. By that point he had finally given up the alcohol and was remorseful for how he had treated his kids, so we didn’t get to see the monster he once was, but when the boys were growing up they didn’t really have stability. Their dad was an alcoholic and would beat Dean senseless when he was in a drunken rage. Dean took all of it so that Sam wouldn’t get hit. Dean cooked, he cleaned, he raised Sam because their father either wouldn’t or couldn’t. There was just so much chaos in his life until he and Sam went to live with Ellen and Bobby, and he had no control over anything. Once he had stability and love, he began to crave that control that had eluded him his entire life. He put himself through college working several jobs, he brought Sam to come and live with him, taking care of all of Sam’s needs. He had routines that I swear you could set a clock by. As long as he was in control, he was ok. John was out of his life for years and that meant that as long as everything else in Dean’s life went smoothly, he had little to no stress. When he’s not in control though, he panics. That attack he had the other night? I’ve never seen him have one that bad. He scared the ever lovin’ stuffins out of me! The things I’ve heard that happened to Dean when he was a kid…it was horrid. It’s a miracle he grew up to be as level headed and wonderful as he is. Does have baggage? Absolutely, but so does everyone. His baggage just happens to match nicely with Cas’.”

Michael nodded as he listened. He hadn’t realized Dean’s childhood had been that had. 

“And it changed for the better when he met my brother.” She nodded enthusiastically. 

“With Cas he has found someone that he was finally willing to give up some of that control to. I was there the day they met, saw the chemistry between them. He’d never reacted to someone before like he did to Cas. He lets Cas take care of him. He puts all of his faith in Cas, that he’ll do the right thing for him and Gracie, and Cas is fantastic. The attacks got bad when John, their dad came back to town last year. Like really bad. In a very, very short span of time he met Cas, found out his dad was dying, learned he had a child that he’d never been told about, and Sam moved out to come live with me. I think everything went spiraling out of control for Dean and he had no idea how to handle it. I could see a change in him but when I questioned Sam about it he told me Dean was fine. But I’m a nurse and I knew he was anything but ok. Then I overheard Sam talking to Cas. Cas managed to convince Dean to start seeing Tessa, and she got him on an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety, and she prescribed something stronger for the nights he can’t sleep at all. I hear he’s only had a handful of those though, like when they first moved in the house, and on their honeymoon, but not til after their attack.” She took a sip of her coffee before continuing on.

“Then they got the house, which is a load of stress all in itself, then there was the wedding, their awful honeymoon, and then Cas started to push a bit harder for a dog. I know you guys weren’t allowed to have pets growing up. Dean never really had one, but not because he couldn’t. The harder Cas pushed, the worse Dean’s anxiety got. He only relented after they finally reached a compromise: no brand new puppies. So Molly was a huge deal. She symbolizes him giving up some of that control in order to make Cas happy. Dean really struggled with the idea of getting one. Dogs meant losing control to him. They chew, they make messes, blah, blah, but he’d give the moon and stars if that was what Cas wanted. I warned Cas to be careful and not use tactics like that to get what he wanted, but I don’t think he’s that kind of person. Cas somehow convinced him that a dog would be a good idea, and Sam picked out the breed. Chose a Golden and then went searching for dogs with the right temperament. Sam and Cas had long talks about which breed they felt would meet the needs of a growing family while also having the right personality, with potential to be a therapy dog for Dean. Like, they seriously thought it through before they ever brought Dean to meet the puppies. Molly is in training to be Dean’s therapy dog. From the first moment she met him, they started to bond. I saw it. I’ve seen her calm him down more than a few times when he was anxious, and that was barely into the training. Cas said she was doing it before she even started training at all. That dog is his lifeline now. He has already gotten a recommendation from Tessa to have the dog with him at work, and as soon as she’s done with training, that’s exactly what will happen. So yeah, he panicked bad knowing she got hurt. What he doesn’t know is that Sam is bringing Molly up later. As far as my job knows, Molly is already certified. For me, they won’t look too hard. It will help him to have her there, to know she’s ok. And he should be ok to be released tomorrow.” She finished off the rest of her coffee and stood up. Michael had already finished his cup and as they walked to the garbage can to throw out the empty cups, he mulled over what she had said.

“I like Dean, he’s a good guy. I know my brother is good for him, but I think he’s really good for Cas too. Those two idiots need each other. Hopefully now things will calm back down and start to get back to normal.” He said as they took the elevator back to the sixth floor.

“I really hope so too.” She said. As the doors opened they saw Sam turning the corner with Molly at his side.

“Sam!” She called out. He stopped and popped his head around the corner. 

“Did you have any problems getting Molly in?” She asked, pausing to scratch the pup’s ear. Molly sat the moment Sam stopped walking and she looked up at Jess with the same adoration she showed everyone in the Winchester/Novak family.

“No, not at all. Check this out.” He handed over a certification for level one. Molly had passed with flying colors. “That means she can be out in public places. She still has two more levels to pass before she can be allowed in schools and hospitals, but…shhh…” He winked at her and smiled at Michael.

“Hey, if the dog helps, I’m not saying a word.” Michael said. Molly was wearing a harness and jacket that labeled her clearly as a therapy dog.

“Come on, Dean’s awake.” Jess started walking and both men followed. At Dean’s room she knocked, not wanting to interrupt. The door opened and Tessa appeared. She smiled when she saw Molly.

“Oh good! She’s here!” Sam handed over the leash and Tessa took the dog into the room, smiling politely before closing the door again. Through the closed door they heard Dean excitedly greet his dog. It was muffled but it was clear he was happy to see the pup.

“And that’s the guy that didn’t want a dog.” Sam said with an eye roll. He was smiling which betrayed his pretend annoyance.

“He had nothing against dogs, you know that. It’s the potential stress they can cause that he was against. Give him a break.” Jess gave her fiancé a playful punch in the arm. “I have to finish my rounds, I’ll see you guys later.” She kissed Sam on the cheek and gave Michael a hug before leaving.

“That’s a great girl you have there.” Michael said as the two men sat down and waited for Dean’s therapy session to end. Sam grinned happily.

“Yeah, she is.”

 

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Molly stayed with Dean into the next day and he felt much calmer having her there. Ellen and Bobby stopped by with Gracie and Nan came with Liz, telling Dean that she had cleaned his kitchen top to bottom, not wanting there to be any messes when he got home. He was very grateful for everyone. Late the following day he got the all clear to go home. It made him anxious thinking that he was returning to the same place he and his family had been attacked in, but Cas had promised him it was safe, and Tessa had talked some logic into him that overruled his fear. She was good for that and he was glad he’d chosen her as his therapist. She’d changed up his prescriptions a bit, and when he was to take them, but it was to help him, and he believed her.

Cas drove them home, chatting about all the things they still had to do for Gracie’s birthday, and Dean happily joined in the conversation. As they pulled into the driveway he started to feel the anxiety creeping back but Molly, who had been sitting between them in the front seat yipped and looked over at Cas as she pressed herself against Dean.

“Good girl, thank you.” Cas praised her as he reached around her to take Dean’s hand. “Like Tessa said, come with me and I’ll show you what we did to make it safer.” Dean swallowed hard and nodded. Cas got out and came around to the passenger side, opening his door for him. Dean took Molly’s leash and got out. Cas pulled him close and kissed his cheek. Together they climbed the steps and went inside.

The moment they were through the door there was beeping that could be heard relatively loudly all through the house. Cas quickly tapped a code into a small key pad mounted near the door and the beeping stopped.

“I disarmed it for now. Come on in and close the door.” Dean did just that, shutting the door behind him.

“Watch this.” Cas said, and pressed something into the keypad. There were three beeps and then the door locked itself.

“Whoa…” Dean grinned. “That was pretty cool.”

“Wait til you see this.” Cas turned on a monitor that was mounted above the keypad. It gave a clear, full color view of the front porch. If someone came to the door, they would be able to see who the person was. “Follow me, it gets better.” Cas crooked a finger, beckoning Dean to follow him upstairs. Dean stopped long enough to remove Molly’s leash and hang it up before he followed.

He found Cas in the bedroom fiddling with the television.

“So say you’re up here and someone comes to the door. Watch this.” Cas picked up the remote, hit a button and suddenly they had a 50 inch view of the front porch.

“Wow! You guys installed this yourselves?!” Dean took the remote when Cas handed it to him.

“Actually…I only left the hospital once to come home and grab a change of clothes and take a quick shower. Sam, Bobby and Gabe installed it. Gabe paid for it. It scared him bad seeing you hurt like that, and I think he felt really guilty cause it’s our dad that did it. While I was here, they gave me a quick rundown on how it works. If you switch to Aux 2 you have a view of the back door. Aux 3 gives a full view of the backyard, so if Gracie is out there playing, you can watch her from any TV in the house and…” Cas pulled out his phone and pulled up an app. When he clicked on it and held it up Dean could see that he was looking at the back deck. “You can see it from your phone too. In fact, if the doorbell rings while we’re not home, we’ll get an alert and it will video tape whoever showed up. I also had all the locks changed out for stronger ones, and added in a stopper for the French doors, and the glass is reinforced. I didn’t want to admit when we first moved in but I had this fear of Gracie falling and putting her face through them. Saw it in a movie once and it sort of really messed with my head. Now if she falls into them, she’ll bounce off. That means no one can use them to break in either.”

Dean pulled Cas against him and kissed him. “You really thought of everything, didn’t you.”

“Of course I did. I want you to feel safe when you’re at home. This should be the one place that is stress free, save for the normal stresses that come with raising a rambunctious almost three year old, but that’s to be expected. This should be our safe place, where we can forget the outside world completely and be happy.” Cas pressed soft kisses against Dean’s neck, loving the contented sighs the man gave.

“I do, and this means a lot to me that you guys would do this for me. I can’t say I’m not going to have nightmares about it, but…I think I can handle them.”

“Do you think you’re up for dinner out? Michael wants us all to get together. Naomi is joining us. Not so much stress on you this time. Now it’ll be me.” Cas said.

“Yeah. Can…I bring Molly?” Dean asked.

“Of course. We’re going to that pub we went to when we were first dating, the one with outdoor seating that allows dogs.” Cas replied. He pulled out of Dean’s arms and started for the bathroom. “But first I need a shower.”

“Care for some company?” Dean asked. Cas stuck his head back out of the door, that wicked smile Dean loved so much on his lips.

“I’m always game for company.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was formally the last chapter. I will do an epilogue when I finish with the next fic I've been toiling away at, but before I post that one, I will come back to this one and post the epilogue. I write fast, so we're talking days, not weeks. I hope you like this chapter, it was a fun ride and I am thoroughly in love with the Dean and Cas in this verse. Especially Cas. I beat myself up over this chapter. I didn't much like it, but...I couldn't really think of what I wanted to change exactly, or how to change it, so I decided to just let it be. Stupid OCD, it's why I ended up editing and rewriting one book for 17 years before I finally published it! 
> 
> So, leave a comment, you guys know I love them, and let me know what you think. More is coming, it always is with me! I love you guys, thanks for sticking it out this entire time! You just read a doggone BOOK my friends, lol!


	56. Epilogue~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is it...the end of my boys...
> 
> At least in this verse it is. It's been a wonderful ride...
> 
> Dean, Cas and their family, 5 years in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost want to cry knowing that this verse has finally come to an end. I'm going to miss the Cas and Dean of this world. As I tend to do, I fell in love with them and I will miss them. I do hope you enjoy this epilogue and maybe, just maybe this one will someday be one that I turn into a full fledged book. We'll see...

**Epilogue~~~**

 

**~~~5 Years Later~~~**

 

“Put it back, _now_.” Cas ordered. Gracie looked sheepishly up at her dad, the pudding cup she’d been about to sneak out of the fridge caught red handed in her grasp. With an annoyed sigh she did as she was told.

“Is that why I’m running out of pudding cups for your lunches? And snacks for your brother and sister? That’s not ok, Gracie. You are to ask for a snack, not just take want you want whenever. Not the special snacks. Fruits, vegetables, crackers, that’s one thing, but not pudding, and not right before bedtime. Have I made myself clear?” Her father asked. 

“Yes, papa. I just…had a sweet tooth.” She shrugged. 

“Uh huh, and where did you hear that, your dad?” Cas asked. Gracie grinned and it was like looking at Dean, but with blonder hair.

“Yeah, well, too bad. Have a handful of grapes and go brush your teeth.”

She let out an exaggerated groan as she stalked over to the bowl on the counter and snapped off a sprig of grapes. As she walked to the kitchen table she popped one in her mouth.

“Papa! Papa! I went poo poo! Wipe my butt!” His son Aidan came running into the kitchen wearing absolutely nothing other than a tee shirt.

“Dean!” Cas yelled. No answer. With a sigh Cas ushered his son back to the bathroom where he got the boy cleaned up and put on a clean pull up.

“Cas?”

He heard Dean calling his name and as he came out of the bathroom he could hear the sliding door closing. That’s why Dean hadn’t heard him, he’d been out in the yard.

“Papa! I picked you a flower!” Their daughter Sophie cried as she ran up to him. She was holding a wilted dandelion up at her father, a huge grin on her face.

“She wanted to pick flowers for you, papa, but I sort of mowed the lawn, so this was the only one she could find.” Dean explained.

“It’s beautiful, baby girl, thank you. I’m going to go and put it in water, ok?” He accepted the flower and carried it with him as he sought out a tea cup to use as a temporary vase.

“It’s pretty, right?” Sophie asked. “Daddy won’t let me pick the flowers in his garden.” She pouted. 

“That’s because you want to pick the flowers off my squash. We won’t have our winter vegetables if you do that.” Dean explained. Cas chuckled and swept the little girl up into his arms.

“Guess what.” He told her.

“What?” 

“It’s time for bed.” 

“I’m not tired!” She struggled to get out of his arms but he tightened his grip on her.

“Sophia Rose, you know it’s time for bed. If you don’t listen daddy won’t read you your story tonight.” He chastised. The little girl stopped struggling and looked up at him, the misery obvious in her pale blue eyes.

“Ok, papa.” He kissed her cheek and set her down.

“Go get your brother and get your jammies on. And Gracie, that goes for you too. Get a move on.” Cas snapped his fingers and both girls got moving. Gracie stopped to drop the empty stem from her grapes into the garbage. Dean ruffled her hair as she walked past him and she stopped to give him a quick squeeze around the waist. Cas watched all three kids climb the stairs before he turned to look at his husband with a look of utter exasperation.

“You ok, babe?” Dean asked as he wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist.

“They’re going to be the death of me, I swear!” The same exasperation showed in Cas’ voice and Dean wanted to make it better.

“I’ll get them into bed, ok? You relax and I’ll be back down in a half hour or so.” 

Cas smiled and nodded. “Alright. I’m holding you to that. Don’t fall asleep in one of the twins’ beds again like you did last night.” 

“I’m not nearly as tired tonight. I’ll be back.” Dean winked at him before heading up the stairs. 

Cas stretched and pulled off his tee shirt before he sat down on the couch. The house was warmer than usual with the recent increase in the heat index. Dean was trying to avoid turning on the air for as long as possible and Cas was on board with that. It just meant he was sweating more than usual. After a few minutes of sitting uncomfortably he stood up and turned on the ceiling fan. The cool air circulating made it better and he sat back down again. Molly came walking in the room, her tail wagging and her tongue lolling out of her mouth.

“Whatcha doing, girl?” He asked. She wagged her tail a little harder as she walked over to her box of toys and dug around in it. He grinned when she found the rawhide bone Sophie had picked out for her on their last trip to the pet store and watched as she carried it over to her bed. A phone chimed and he patted his hip. His was in his pocket which meant it was Dean’s. When it chimed two more times in rapid succession he began to worry that it was important.

“Dean? Someone keeps texting you.” He called up the stairs.

“Can you see who it is?” Dean called back.

Cas went in search of the phone and found it on the counter in the kitchen. He unlocked it and saw that it was from Sam.

Sam: Guess what!

Sam: Danny’s going to be a big brother!

Cas gasped and looked up the stairs excitedly. He couldn’t wait to give Dean the news! He responded to the text.

Dean: Hey Sam, it’s Cas. Dean is putting the kids to bed. I will tell him as soon as he comes downstairs. Congratulations! Is there anything we can do to help?

Sam responded quicker than he expected.

Sam: Thanks. Not right now, but could you or Dean watch Danny next Thursday afternoon? Jess has a wellness checkup.

Dean: Sure. We both get off work at two thirty. I pick the twins up and am home by three. What time is her appointment?

Sam: Appointment’s at three thirty. I’ll meet you at your house at three.

Dean: Sounds good. How is Jess feeling?

Sam: Nauseous and tired but otherwise she’s good.

Dean: Well, we’re here if you need anything. Expect more texts from Dean when he gets down here.

Sam: Of course, lol. Talk to you later, Jess wants some tea.

Dean: Later.

Cas carried the phone into the living room and was just sitting down when he heard footsteps on the stairs. He looked up to see Dean walking in the room.

“It is a bit warm in here, isn’t it.” Dean remarked when he saw his husband sitting shirtless on the couch.

“It’s a little better now that I turned the fan on.” Cas pointed up at the ceiling.

Dean stripped out of his own shirt before joining his husband. He stretched out and Cas pulled his legs into his lap.

“Guess what?”

“What?” Dean asked.

“That was Sam texting. He and Jess are expecting. Danny’s going to be a big brother.” Cas was grinning so wide his cheeks ached from it but he couldn’t stop.

“What! No way!” Dean reached for his phone and Cas handed it over. “Holy shit!” 

Dean texted his brother and they talked for a couple of minutes before he finally set his phone aside.

“We’re going to be uncles. Again! Jo’s baby is due in January. I wonder if Jess’ will be due around that time too.” Dean mused.

“Probably. Ellen’s not going to know what to do with so many grandchildren.” Cas laughed.

“She’ll spoil them all like she already does.” Dean said. Cas sighed and nodded.

“That she will.” 

Cas ran his hand absently up and down Dean’s shin as he turned the television on and searched until he found an episode of Dean’s favorite show, Dr. Sexy playing.

“Twins give you any problems?” He asked.

“Nah, not really. They were tired. Aidan had to use the bathroom again before I could get him to settle down but he was out before I reached the middle of the story.” Dean replied.

“Want to go sit on the swing in the yard?” Cas asked. They’d already seen this episode at least four times. Even he could recite the lines by heart at this point.

“Sure.” Dean lifted his legs so Cas could get up and together they stood up. After a quick pause at the stairs to make sure it was all quite upstairs they headed out to the yard. Molly followed after as she always did.

They settled onto the porch swing and Dean lifted an arm so Cas could slide closer, which he did. Molly was quietly sniffing around the yard and they watched her quietly for a while. The night was warm but not as muggy as it had been earlier. At least now there was a slight breeze blowing that made the warm air bearable.

“So I was thinking.” Cas said.

“I worry when you start thinking.” Dean teased. Cas smirked and elbowed him playfully.

“As I was saying, I was thinking. Now that the twins are turning four I thought maybe we could follow through on our plan. What do you think?” 

“Which one? Another baby or reuniting the band?” Dean asked. They had several plans. He just needed clarification as to which one Cas was talking about.

“Well, Gracie’s eight now, and the twins will be four next month. We talked about having another one. Don’t you think it’s time?” Cas turned those blue eyes on him and as always Dean found it hard to resist them. This was a conversation they’d had for several years now. Their goal was four kids, and they had been surprised when their surrogate turned out to be carrying twins instead of the expected single baby, but they’d been thrilled nonetheless. One more baby would make their world perfect. They were hoping for another boy but in the end it didn’t matter what they ended up with.

“Do we want to ask Lisette again? And who’s sperm this time?” Dean asked. Cas’ face lit up and he sat up straighter.

“Yours this time. I want a baby with your DNA. Another little green eyed angel if we’re lucky. And yes, I like Lisette. If she’s willing, I’d like to ask her again.” 

Dean smiled and leaned in to kiss him. “What if we get twins again?”

“We’ll love them just as much as our other kids.” Cas replied. Dean nodded.

“Yes, we will. Another set of twins would be pretty cool though. Lisette might disagree though.”

“I’d be happy with whatever we got. They’re our children and we’ll love them unconditionally.” Cas sighed happily and leaned against Dean again.

“I read the texts between you and Sam. We’re babysitting Danny on Thursday?” Dean asked.

“Yes. So Jess can go to the doctor. I’ll pick the twins up from daycare as usual, but if you could come straight home so Sam doesn’t have to wait to drop Danny off, that would be great.”

“Of course. I don’t have a faculty meeting until Monday of the following week, and I have to go in early for that one.” Dean said.

Things had gone smoothly for Dean and Cas ever since the incident with his father which sometimes surprised them both. For a long time Dean lived on edge, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. When nothing else bad happened, he finally began to relax. Cas pushed through on schooling and ended up completing his degree in three years after deciding to double up on his course load against Dean’s suggestion, and now he taught choir and band at the high school. It wasn’t exactly what he thought he’d end up doing, but he loved his job nonetheless.

Molly finished her therapy training and now she went to work every day with Dean. He hadn’t had a bad anxiety attack in close to two years now, not since they’d gotten a threatening letter in the mail from Doug. Enraged, Cas had taken the letter to the police and they had arrested Doug. It violated the restraining order they had against the man and the police were quick to pick him up. Sam handled the aftermath of that and life went back to normal again. 

The decision to have another baby came about when Dean ended up being the one to get baby fever. They had intended to wait for Cas to graduate but the itch became too much, and it ended up rubbing off on Cas as well. With help from Sam they found Lisette, a woman with three children of her own that happily offered her services as a surrogate. They used Cas’ sperm and when it turned out they were having twins instead of the single baby they anticipated, they were thrilled beyond belief. 

Newborn twins turned out to be a lot of work but Dean took paternity leave and stayed home for three months after they were born. Once he went back, Ellen and Jo pitched in to help with the kids. They lined up the daycare that the kids were still at now before they were born and things ran more smoothly than they expected, though that first year was the most exhausting of either of their lives. Now they wanted to do it all over again. Dean was actually excited at the prospect of getting to hold a newborn again. This baby would grow up right alongside Sam and Jess’ new baby and Jo’s. He liked the idea that the kids would be in school together and would look out for one another. 

Married life had its ups and downs but it wasn’t anything they couldn’t handle. They had promised in the beginning to always work as a team and lean on each other in times of need, and they did exactly that. A cancer scare the year before when Cas developed a lump in his armpit scared the shit out of them both but a biopsy proved it to be a benign tumor. Dean needed to have his meds switched out three times before Tessa found the perfect combination that kept his depression under control and his anxiety at bay. He was the happiest he had ever been, and Cas was too.

A year after Sam proposed to Jess, they got married. Two years after that she learned she was pregnant with Danny. He was one spoiled little boy too, by his parents as well as Cas and Dean. They spent a lot of time babysitting the tot and he spent nearly as much time at their house as he did at his own. He had a particular fondness for his Uncle Cas who blew raspberries on his belly and flew him around the yard like an airplane. 

Laura even managed to make an honest man out of Balthazar. They married the same year Sam and Jess did and adopted a baby the following year. They now had three kids and brought the family by regularly. Every summer Dean threw a bit barbecue and invited all of their family and friends. It ended up with no less than thirty people showing up, and they loved it that way.

Gabe was still living the single life, but it was by choice. Robbie had just graduated high school and was preparing to leave for college in the fall. Maya was going into the fifth grade and every time Nan and Liz came into town, Maya came over to spend a few nights with them. Despite the age difference the girls were good friends and it made both families happy that the girls got along as well as they did. While Gabe and Cas were not the closest of brothers they had, for the most part put their differences aside and they got along fairly well. Even Dean had learned to tolerate Gabe. 

Cas shifted next to Dean and reached a hand over, resting it on his husband’s thigh. They continued to rock slowly, their eyes lifting to the summer night above them. The sky was filled with stars and it was something they both enjoyed, just coming outside after the kids were asleep and looking up at the stars. Every moment they got to be alone they cherished, even the simple moments like this.

“I love you.” Dean said softly. Cas looked over at him and smiled.

“I love you too. What was that for?”

“It just feels like I don’t say it often enough, but I do. I love you as much as I did the day I married you. Thank you for putting up with me and all of my crap. I swear you were an angel sent from heaven, come to answer my prayers. The irony being in that you are actually named after an angel.” Dean said, grinning. Cas chuckled and caressed Dean’s cheek with his free hand.

“We’ve had this conversation a thousand times and every single time it makes my heart swell all over again with love for you. I still say I was the lucky one. You came into my life at a time when I needed you the most, when I thought I had lost my way. I thank God every day for you, for our children, and for our family. You taught me the true meaning of family, babe. I don’t think I really knew what that was until I met you.” Cas leaned in, kissing him softly and Dean sighed into it.

“Have you heard from Michael lately? How did Naomi settle in out there?” Dean asked. Cas’ mother had decided she needed a fresh start after Martin’s trial and subsequent conviction for all the charges that Sam’s law firm threw at him, the biggest one being attempted murder. He was sent away for what they hoped would be the rest of his life and as soon as the trial ended Naomi had decided she wanted to move far away. As much as Michael didn’t want her deeply ensconced in his life anymore, he had suggested she find a place out by him and start over. Still, it had taken her a while to move. She wanted the chance to get to know Gracie and the twins before she finally packed her bags and left.

“She called yesterday. She’s doing well. Joined a church out there and it’s a real adjustment for her because it’s the way a church should be run. My father’s was so much like a cult that she had no idea what a real church was actually like. Apparently she likes Bingo and takes part in bake sales. She’s keeping busy.” Cas replied.

“That’s good.” Dean murmured as he pressed a soft kiss against Cas’ hair. “Hey Cas?” 

Cas lifted his head to look at him. “Yeah?”

“I want you to make love to me. Take me completely apart and put me back together.”

Cas quirked an eyebrow, a wicked grin forming on his lips. God Dean loved when the man gave him that look.

“I think I can manage that. Come on, gorgeous.” He stood up and pulled Dean to his feet. Taking Dean by the hand he pulled him back into the house, pausing only long enough for Molly to follow them in, and then closing the sliding doors.

As they started for the stairs to the second floor Dean pulled Cas back and wrapped him in his arms.

“Thank you, baby, for loving me even when I didn’t love myself.” He whispered the words against Cas’ lips before bridging the distance and pressing their mouths together. Cas smiled.

“Dean, sweetheart, you don’t need to thank me. I love you now and always. Now come on, your ass is mine.” He smacked his husband’s ass, laughing softly when Dean jumped. As Dean started up the stairs Cas turned his eyes upwards and whispered a quick prayer.

“Thank you, Lord, for every blessing you have given me in my life, but most of all for bringing Dean into my life, and for our beautiful family. Praise be to thee, amen.”

“You coming?” Dean called down from the top of the stairs, his voice barely above a whisper so as not to wake the kids. Cas grinned.

“I will be as soon as I get you in that bed.” He called back, and hurried up the stairs. It was moments like this in which he firmly believed his life was perfect. And really, it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a special thanks to everyone that stuck with me through this entire story, and who gave such wonderful words of encouragement. I love you guys so much, you have no idea. I hope you will join me on my next fic which I will start putting up very soon. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, you know I love the your comments. It's been a fun ride everyone, but those that know me, you know I'm never done writing... ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and a kudos, and let me know what you think. I will be simultaniously be working on this fic and an ABO, so bear with me. I already wrote 33,000 words of this while working on the Star Wars fic, so I will be updating regularly, no fear! 
> 
> I love you all, and thank you for reading!


End file.
